Pony POV Series
Shining Armor Part 8
Written By lz0291
retniW-After Shocks
Edited by Alex Warlorn, Kendell2(God bless his hard working soul on finals), And Louis Badalament.
I was expecting a fairly quiet time of it with the day ahead. I'd managed to luck out and be assigned the assistance desk at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. In short, me and the squad were supposed to be doorponies and receptionists, signing visitors in, and escorting them to go see whoever they were visiting. With so many students and teachers thanks to Princess Celestia's generous spending, student dorms and officers were all over the castle quite literally, this was important. But easy.
Since the Winter-Wrap-Up holiday was tomorrow, most of the students were not on campus and the few that were, the visitors knew where they were going. Meaning we'd not only avoid freezing our marks off patrolling, but we'd basically all be lounging around doing nothing.
On top of that, about half the ponies coming in would be at the wrong desk and be trying to sign in as visitors to the castle. It's an easy mistake to make, of course. The school campus is ALL OVER the castle. And so is the Royal Guard Cadet school, but that's the same visitor desk as the castle. And that desk is elsewhere.
All in all, yay us. Ellis was leading the most recent of three over to the right reception desk, Gag was reading a manega, Audience and Thunderchild had went off to get some tea and coffee, and I was reading the newspaper. What are you doing?
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Checking if your picture is in the dictionary under 'Boring.')
Hey, I was just catching up on the news. Besides, wasn't like I could borrow Gag's book - it was in Neighponese, and I had to wait for Audience to come back to play a decent game of chess and put that bloody dictionary down! Anyway...
"Hey, Gag?" I said, seeking some intellectual input after reading a rather strange article.
"Yeah, Sir?"
Yes, Gag was intellectual input compared to this. It was that bad. He'd only been with us six months by that point but his reputation was set in stone.
"How's your fictional made-up nonsense?"
"This is Narutrot, Sir, it's technically loosely based on true events three hundred years ago in Feudal Neighpon. But it's pretty cool."
"Ah. Because this Sunny Day article isn't remotely entertaining and I think I am now dumber for reading it. I fear I may no longer sentence as good."
He sighed. My views on her articles had also become very clear to him in six months.
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Then why did you read them?)
I give her credit were credit is due. For all the slander she heaps on Princess Celestia, she's NEVER said one foul word about Twilight, Cadence, or Princess Luna and wrote against the evil 'Molestia rumors.' In fact, she applauds Twilight pretty frequently, praises Cadance for her diplomatic work, and tries to encourage ponies to not judge Princess Luna for Nightmare Moon. The few good articles she writes tend to be big hits with me, what can I say?
"What subject is she talking out of her flank on this time?"
"I've no idea, Gag. I only speak three languages - Equestrian, Roedinian, and Foul. You're the one with the language special talent, whilst mine is shields. Her article appears to be written in Gibberish."
He came over and looked at the article in question. "...Unidentified Flying Objects? Really?"
"Yes, really. It seems two days ago somepony up in Bonneighbridge, near Foalkirk, saw some odd lights in the sky. They feared it was aliens. Some pegasi came forward yesterday and admitted they were messing around with light bulbs and thunderclouds. Perfectly innocent, but conspiracy nuts think aliens. Sunny Day doesn't. She's blaming the Air Navy testing out new airships in secret. She does this every time when the news is slow. She latches onto some non-story and keeps it going for a few days more."
If I'd kept reading the paper I'd have found a small article about how an Air Navy destroyer had collided with a cargo ship. But we were distracted by a dragon suddenly entering the room.
A baby dragon.
"Uh, hey, Shinin'," Spike said.
"Spike? What's up? Looking for me?"
"Well, not you in particular, but I guess you'd be the best help if you don't overreact. You see, Twilight's not feeling too good..."
I practically jumped over the desk, landing in front of Spike. "Twiley's sick!? How sick? Where is she?"
I then began running.
"Hey! WAIT! SHININ'! I NEEDED... Aw, crud."
I ran back. "Of course, you need a lift, hop on, take me to her!"
I then ran again, but realization hit me. I turned around, making Spike yelp on my back.
"Gag! Tell the others where I went!"
"Uh, okay, Sir... "
"Where is she?"
"Shinin', I was just looking for somepony to help me get..."
"A doctor?! We need a doctor?!"
"No, we..." He tried, but I had by this point sped up, and he was holding on for dear life.
I had galloped to the tower in record speed , and burst in the door. "Twilight?! Where are you? Are you okay?!"
I scanned the room frantically, not seeing her anywhere. Was Spike trying to tell me she'd already been taken to a hospital while we ran here?! All I could see was books, piles of books, mounds of books, a confused looking purple mare wearing a Maresenal hoody in the midst of blowing her nose, more books, a desk covered in books plus a pizza carton and...
Oh.
"...Hi, Shinin'?" Twilight said.
"Like I was saying, Shinin', she's only got a cold!"
One awkward silence later.
"...Ah. Well, um, I heard you were sick and... Spike, why didn't you tell me she had a cold? And why was it so major you were looking for me all worried?"
"I was trying to tell you! The castle apothecary's been rationing all the cold relief stuff because every fourth pony has a cold, and a bunch of students figured out the hot lemon drinks let you pretend to be sick."
"Dey'be got laxatibe quaaa.. aaa....aaaachoo!" Twilight tried to say, but sneezed. "...Laxatibe qualities ib taken in high doses..."
"After she found out, Lemon Hearts actually locked her door and stopped taking requests when they all started going to her instead. You should've seen it. Poor Moon Dancer tried to see how she was doing and barely made it out in one piece. Something about 'Angry mother lemons.'"
I don't want to know.
"So why did you need me? To tell them to give us some?"
"Uh, well, sort of, I was looking for a guard to help me get them because, uh..."
"Because you think the powdered drinks are a great topping on gemstones and no one is going to give any to you while there's a shortage, and all the apothecaries nearby in the city know you too so you can't go buy some there." I sighed. "Twiley, I'll go get you your cold relief stuff."
"Uh, danks, B.B.B.Eb.Eb...Could you close deh door too?"
"Uh, yeah..." I said, heading outside, closing it behind me. Before I could continue my journey, Gag came down to land.
"Sir, I spoke to the Sarge when he came back, and he agreed with what I said while you were leaving, so he sent me to get cold relief stuff to bring to Twilight."
"Uh, right. What did you say?"
"I said I thought she might have had a cold."
"Good guess. Come on, let's take them to her..."
"Uh, Sir? I don't actually have any. We're all out of them. We might need to have someone go into the city and buy some there."
Into Twilight's tower we went again.
"Oh. Dat wab quick." Twilight sniffled, a paper hankie hovering above her nose.
"Yes, er, Private Gag says we're all out of cold relief stuff..."
"Oh. Dank you anyway..."
"Uh, look, Twiley, you should probably go to bed or something..."
"Bud I wan to study!" She protested.
"Look, Twiley, this room is far too drafty even when we do remember to close the door. I'll see if I can get somepony to head into town so Spike can stay with you if you insist on staying up, but, uh..." I trailed off, not sure what to say to convince her that resting in bed was a viable alternative to studying.
"Something wrong, Lieutenant Sparkle?" A voice said behind us. Gag and I froze in terror.
"S-staff Sergeant Harper..." My subordinate whimpered.
The Pegasus Pony from Emerald Isle could be remarkably stealthy given his large frame that put some Earth Ponies to shame. Some joked he was half-dragon. Amazingly enough not Running Gag. He shared my opinion that Harper was a dragon disguised as a pony. You could tell he was a good NCO. Every enlisted trooper respected or kind of feared him. And every officer below the rank of Major that wasn't Captain Sharpe was terrified of him.
"Um, no, Sarge Staffent. Staff Sergeant. I was, uh, on the assistance desk, as you know, and, um, Spike here told me the Princesses personal student..."
"Your lovely sister, yes. G'Mornin' there, Miss Sparkle. I see you're feelin' under the weather a bit? I'll just come in, close this door..."
"Yes, uh, I was told she wasn't well and was needing some help to get some cold relief medicine. Unfortunately..."
"We're all out. Yes, it's a bit of a bugger there, Lieutenant. In fact, Captain Sharpe was looking to fetch some as well, for Major Payne. On top of that, it seems a lot of the lads in Lieutenant Coke's platoon have colds and they've burned right through a very generous supply of cough sweets and lemony drinks we managed to get for them. A few more seem to have squiffy tummies, the poor ladies..."
"Uh, sorry to hear that, Staff Sergeant. Perhaps we could, uh, go into the city and try track down some civilian supplies?" Gag squeaked.
"Maybe, Private. But I'm noticing this room... Very drafty, Lieutenant. Very drafty. Can you feel that in the air currents there, Gag? Miss Sparkle should probably be in bed, I'd wager she won't feel the draft as much there."
"I wan to study." She said again.
"Oh, that's commendable, Miss, dedicated to your education. But, I think there's possibly a better alternative here. Maybe you could take her to the assistance desk, Lieutenant? Nice and warm there, your squad can go fetch anything she needs, keep an eye on her, that sort of thing. And Gag and I could go into town to try track down some medicines in the meantime?"
"Uh, well, perhaps, Staff Sergeant. We should maybe check with the Princess first..." I responded.
"I'm on it already." Spike said, quill in claws.
"...And Captain Sharpe, maybe..."
"Oh, Captain Sharpe will be fine with it. You're on the assistance desk, you're meant to determine what's the best way to help ponies in need. With Princess Celestia's permission, of course."
Spike sent the letter. Gag and Harper vanished, and I said a quick prayer that I'd get my rookie back uneaten shortly. A minute later, the Princess had sent a reply, expressing her sympathy to Twilight as well as thanking me for being a dutiful guard and brother (I blushed with pride at both).
"Well, let's go. Get on my back and put some blankets over yourself to stay warm..." I told Twilight.
"...Shining, I hab dis hoody you gabe me, I'm warm enoub. It's just a cold, I can walk to the assistance desk wibout getting any worse..."
"I'm not taking chances. Remember that time you were little, you had 'just a cold'? But you insisted you come play with me and my hoofball, and then we had to go to hospital?!"
"...Dat was 'cause you got da ball stuck ub a tree and pulled a branch down on yourselb and I laughed too much..."
"Er, yes, but, the point is, you were having trouble breathing afterwards! And I also had a nasty head wound but the important part was I thought you were choking..."
"It wabn't eben dat funny...I dunno why I couldn't stob laughin..."
"Point is, you're wrapping up to go out there. And we're avoiding trees!"
If I'm honest, I'd expected far different dreams. I'd closed my eyes after the night's events with a lingering expectation of hearing hoofsteps and claws on tile and soil, grinning Makarov's promised fate worse than death, or maybe staring numbly at a coffin, or seeing flames consuming a tree, or some a purple or pink shape on the floor ringed with red... Instead, I'd dreamed of Twilight getting a cold a few days before Winter Wrap-Up.
So when I woke up I was actually relieved but a little annoyed to realize I'd only slept about three or four more hours, waking up just before six. I figured I might as well have got ready. Just as I was about to turn off the shower and start drying, my replacement alarm clock radio some thoughtful soul had decided to buy for me decided to let itself be known.
"There's a black dog on my shoulder again, licking my neck and saying she's my friend..."
The new radio was spared from defenestration this time, but I was not spared from jumping six feet into the air, colliding with the shower head and falling back to a slippery surface. I slipped and swore very loudly on impact, causing a griffin Marine and a Royal Guard to enter to see what the ruckus was about. Unfortunately, in the process of falling over I had kicked open the door to the small shower stall.
"Oh, Captain Sparkle... Did you slip in the shower?" The embassy Royal Guard asked.
"Yes, I did..." I groaned.
"Anything injured?" The Earth Pony mare asked.
"Just my pride. And can you switch the radio off, please?"
It was at this point Cadence showed up, as the Marine obliged me, regarding the radio. Sunset and Twinkle Shine were behind her.
"I heard a noise! Is Shining okay?! What happened?!"
The Griffin lost it at this point and burst into laughter when I let out a high pitched squeak of embarrassment. "He slipped on the soap, apparently, bwahaha!" Twinkle Shine giggled.
So much for professionalism. I turned the shower off, grabbed a towel and began trying to dry off as I left the shower.
"...Thank Auntie." Cadence sighed, with a grateful look towards heaven. "I almost thought it was..."
It was then I noticed apparently Cadence had bolted out of her own (She did wake at sunrise, after all). Being chivalrous, I did not stare at her enthralling wet, dripping mane and instead focused more on the fact the Guard and Marine were apparently picking up a few things that had fallen off the desk. Twiley's letter from yesterday, picture included.
"I should probably put these away somewhere safe..." I noted, opening a small safe I used to store some important things. I lifted up the six Royal Guard regulation books, putting them aside, and placing the letter and photo in. Unfortunately, I almost put them in the wrong half of the piled letters.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Wrong half?)
...Well, I've got a few letters I've written out, just in case something happens. I wouldn't want to suddenly be gone without at least knowing I'd left behind a goodbye.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): ...I see.)
While I fixed the order of the letters, Cadence had picked volume six in her magic, and looked on the last page. Being half-awake, I didn't question her sudden interest in that book. In hindsight it was kind of significant she'd been shaken up just by seeing a book that lists the name of every Equestrian Royal Guard who has died in the line of duty in the past four hundred years...
"...Thank Auntie." she breathed again. "I thought I was still having that nightmare from last night..."
"Nightmare, Your Highness? What was it?" Sunset wondered.
"...It's not important, Sunset. Just a bad dream. It involved some letters and... It's really quite silly...."
It was then that the Earth Pony Private spoke. "Captain, are you sure you're all right there? I'm actually a trained Combat Medical Technician..."
In other words, a member of the Medical Corps and therefore a fully trained one, instead of the six-week course on how to hold the patient's lungs in that a few troopers go on. Earth Ponies actually can make very good medics. Their magic is based on life, after all.
"Er, I'm fine, Private...?"
"Garnet, Sir."
"Wait a second. You're a medic, Private Garnet? What unit are you with?" Cadence then asked.
"I'm presently attached to the Fourth Royal Yokeshire Guards regiment, Your Highness."
Cadence smiled.
"Shining, last night I couldn't get back to sleep right away, so I did a little reading. And I noticed a few little quirks about the way things are set up with your unit. You were aware your command squad is supposed to be six strong and include a platoon medic, correct?"
"Private Garnet," I cut in. "If you're the Embassy medic where were you last night?"
"I was at the train station, Sir, I was sent out there to see what I could do. I made my own way back once I'd spoken to the local medics."
"I see. Princess, can I ask, how did you hear a noise down this end of the corridor when you were in the shower?"
"It's called an open window, won't change the subject, Shining," Cadence chided. "Why is it you've got a Command Squad that's a member short?"
"Ah. Easy, as a junior officer and with the shortage of medics in the Guard as a whole I never managed to get the gap filled in my team. Senior officers and the Air Navy get priority, and usually most regiments only have a medic at company levels, the exceptions being..."
She raised a hoof to cut me off. "But you're not a junior officer any more, Shining. You're Commander and Captain of my Guard. Why don't you have a medic in your unit?"
"None volunteered. I had thought that medical needs would be covered by the Air Navy medical bays, and members of other teams have some basic first aid training."
"Like you say, though, it's basic first aid. Last night we needed to enlist aid from a doctor who 'officially' wasn't even here. Imagine if Watsun really hadn't been here. Imagine if you'd been more seriously hurt! Which, given the situation, was a very real possibility. Minuette might not have been able to save you. A fully trained medic could spell the difference between life and death, Shining."
I couldn't really disagree with that.
"I know, but there's really no way to just yank a medic out of another unit and stick them into mine. I don't have that kind of authority..."
"But I do, Shining. Wait. So do you, what are you on about?"
"...Eh?"
"You're a Commander of the Guard, even if your actual rank is Captain you're entitled to request additional resources if they're mission critical. An enemy nearly killed you and several of your squad last night, I'd say that makes a medic mission critical."
"Erm, ma'am, are you trying to recruit me into your Guard?" Garnet asked, puzzled.
"Yes. Don't worry, I'm not going to conscript you, I'll ask your officer, that is, if you'd be okay with it, Private Garnet. Shining, you'd better get ready for those assessment things you have to do, we're going to be on a tight schedule today with them. Could they be done before ten, perhaps? Anyway, Private, take me to your leader!"
"Uh, Princess, should I dry you and the Captain off first? You have both just came out of the shower and... Knock it off, Twinkle!" Sunset spoke.
The other Hoofmaiden was making strange noises, like 'fnarr fnarr' even while Sunset was talking.
We both blushed.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Fnarr: 'A representation of a lecherous snicker popularized in the comic magazine Vide Licet... and used adjectivally to denote crude sexual innuendo.')
That's the magazine I'm starting to think is going to get the rights to the biographic adaptation of my life. Innuendo, innuendo, they all want every word between me and her to be innuendo...No, filly, I'm not telling you what we're talking about.
A gentle kick from her princess cured Twinkle Shine.
"Oh. Yes. Ah. I've left water all over the place, haven't I? Hopefully nopony..."
Suddenly, a scream.
"Waaaaaaargh!"
And then a crash.
"...Slips. Horseapples."
Garnet had rushed to the door, as had I. It would seem a hapless Pony member of the Marines had slipped in a puddle. The dazed unicorn mare was sprawled on the ground, but looked up at us. The other Marine was moving to try and help her to her feet.
"Uh... You're the Equestrian medic, Private Garnet, right?" Unicorn Mare-ine said.
"Yes, I am."
"There's been an accident."
"I can see that..." Garnet deadpanned.
"Sorry, I think that was my fault. Are you okay?" Cadence
"Er, I'm fine, ma'am. I mean there's been a more serious accident downstairs with two of your Guards." The Marinicorn said.
"What?! Who? What happened?" I cut in, alarmed.
"Two pegasi, Ranger and Gag, I think, but... Wait! You don't even know where they are!" She shouted as I began running. Everypony else had apparently started following me.
Except the other Marine, of course. The Griffin was a serene Marine surveying the scene.
"Then where are they?"
"THIS way!" Mare Marine said, looking exasperated and taking the lead.
***
Apparently, Ranger and Gag had been chatting while the on-duty one of the pair (which that day was Ranger, just in case you're playing some sort of Bingo or something) had been patrolling near the kitchens. It made sense, the two had been friends as recruits, apparently.
Ranger had slipped, Gag had dived to try and block him from falling, but this merely caused the two to slam into a glass display cabinet outside the kitchen doors, which had held a number of pictures of diplomats and visitors who had dined in the Embassy. Pride of the place had been a picture from twenty years ago, when Princess Celestia had received President Garret (An actual Griffin, imagine that!) in the embassy during a state visit. It escaped unharmed somehow.
Gag and Ranger had not. During the crash, it seemed Ranger had wound up slamming into the glass cabinet, taking Gag with him. We had come across the scene to find Ranger had helped Gag onto his haunches, away from all the glass, but judging by the little pool of blood, someone had been cut. Ranger had been in armor. Gag had not been, so it was clear who'd suffered most.
A Griffin from the kitchen staff, gray with a red neckerchief and rather absurd mustache, was trying to revive a fainted pony chef. Some other Guards had began to move in to try and stop further unwanted presences in the area, which meant they had almost stopped us until the Sergeant let us pass through the group of ponies. They let me and the two other troopers pass, though Cadence held herself and her hoofmaidens back for a moment. The marine had been sent to inform Minuette.
"Sunset, Twinkle Shine, you go look for Minuette as well."
"Do you have the medic?" Ranger said with alarm to the Sergeant, barely even noticing the rest of us.
He was holding Gag upright, less concerned by the fact he had a shard of glass sticking out of his wing than he was at the prospect his friend had a serious head injury. I have to admit I'd felt a little sick myself, seeing the two. Ranger looked to be all right bar his wing injury, but Gag had a few cuts. None serious. What was troubling was he appeared to have taken a nasty hit to the head.
"Don't worry, I'm it. Gustav, where's... Oh."
"What's 'oh?'" I asked.
"The pony that fainted over there is meant to be the first aider in the kitchens. Captain, can you get the medkit from over there please?"
Garnet had her own small first aid kit, but the one I'd fetched apparently held more useful things. She was now examining Gag with the aid of a flashlight she'd mounted onto a front plate on her chamfron. Actually quite a clever design, I should note. The on-off switch was to put it down or up, and the same mount held a magnifying glass. Probably good for reading as well.
"Private? Can you hear me? My name's Garnet, I'm a medic."
He blinked in confusion and just stared at her. Not good...
"How on earth did this happen?" Cadence wondered, as I looked at a suspect wet spot.
"I think someone spilled something. At least it was no one important got it, I guess..." The non-concussed pegasus said, trying to joke.
"Oh, don't you start with that kind of rubbish..." Cadence muttered, giving a fairly intimidating glare.
"Hey, dude, that's not cool. I'm totally important. I'm, like, the Queen of Eagleland..." Gag burbled. I tried not to laugh, half from pleasure he was still with us and half from the fact it was actually amusing at that time, saving me from a heart-attack.
It figures, the poor guy is only funny with a massive head injury to him. Most other poor comedians, I keep thinking I'd enjoy the jokes if only someone were to hit me repeatedly with a cast iron skillet until I forgot where my tail was.
"...Oh, sorry, were you talking to me there? I... I got kinda distracted..." Gag said to Garnet.
"Head pains?" Garnet inquired. "Dizziness?"
"Nah, you're cute..."
To her credit, she just gave a little smile. "Well, thanks, but if you don't mind I think it's better if I check you out first before you starting checking me out, yeah?"
This is probably as good a time as any to make it clear I'm only messing around when I talk about Gag. Only about Twiley's age at the time. He's really quite a good kid, just... his jokes need a lot of work. Great soldier, good guy, perfect translator, terrible comedian. I joke about a lot of people, but I don't really mean it.
Just then, Minuette arrived.
"Ma'am, can you attend to Private Ranger, please?"
I gave Minuette the medical kit, and she began to look at the other soldier. A few moments later, Garnet flipped her light back up to switch it off and reported her findings.
"Definitely a concussion, but not too bad by the looks of it. Might be a good idea to have a doctor check him out at some point but right now I'd advise he be off duty and resting for at least forty-eight hours, and that someone be with him most of the time in case his condition deteriorates." Garnet diagnosed. "The cuts aren't life threatening, but still need tending to."
As an Earth Pony, she couldn't perform any unicorn spells to double-check, but Minuette was on hoof for that.
"I'd agree, I'm not seeing any problems. How's the headache?"
"Still sore..." Gag reported.
Minuette then sighed and spoke to me as she returned to bandaging Ranger. She was especially careful with the glass shard in his wing, since if she just pulled it straight out, it might make it worse.
"Okay, is this going to become a habit, Captain? Are all the other cute ones going to wind up limping out of Columbia in a couple of weeks when we leave? Is Lance-Corporal Apple going to break his leg next?" She wondered.
Gag appeared not to notice he'd been called cute. He seemed to find Private Garnet more interesting.
"I hope not, that'll completely wreck our five-a-side team. He's a great striker," I didn't even get a groan for my poor comedy in light of the expert. But I did apparently get Concussion McGee to think of something.
"My dad was a great striker too! When I was twelve he took the whole Manechester Weather Patrol on strike! He managed to get the management at the weather factory to review unsafe working conditions, something about a risk of hyperfertility because of poor lighting cloud containment... 's why I've got a little brother and a little sister, they're twins..."
"Oh? What are their names?" Garnet asked.
"...Couch Gag and Overly Long Gag. See, my mother gave birth to Couch at home but somehow she was in labor for thirty-six hours with Overly..."
The mares in the room winced, Cadence even more so.
"Well, looks he doesn't have any notable memory loss..." Garnet said quietly.
"Thirty-six hours of labor? Is that even medically possible, Sir?" Ranger whispered to me.
"Apparently."
"We did have to go to the emergency afterwards though."
"You mom need medical attention?" asked Garnet.
"No, she was fine, my dad, she was holding his hoof the whole time and he needed a cast."
And with that, every stallion in the room winced.
Ranger snorted. "Can't help but wonder though, if Mother Gag had got a C-section would the foal have been named Cutaway?"
I kept in a laugh. I was beginning to be happy I was named Shining Armor instead of 'Sparkling Armor.'
"Okay, you're done, Ranger. Sorry, but I don't think that's one to take you off-duty." Minuette then said.
"Afraid she's right. You'd best not use the wing if you can avoid it but you got off lightly. Just a few damaged feathers and some light cuts." Garnet added.
"I can't believe an accident like this could happen..." Cadence groaned.
"Just shows how bad Makarov is, really. He threw everything but the kitchen sink into it last night and didn't come close to killing one guard. To think, all he REALLY needed to do was spill a drink!"
I then put my hoof in it, by laughing and saying; "We should give Running Gag concussions more often, he's funnier."
Minuette and Cadence gave me a look. Ranger stopped mid-laugh, and Garnet managed to prevent herself laughing. I saw her having to hold it in though!
"Gag is concussed, what's your excuse?" Minuette then asked.
"...Sorry." We both mumbled like colts caught with our hooves in the cookie jar.
"Anyway, uh, I'll go take Gag to the canteen or something, I guess he needs to eat?" Ranger spoke up.
"Small, light, things like oatmeal, fruit, vegetables. He might be advised to take high-protein foods, stay off the salt and alcohol. In fact, I'll come with you, we could probably give him an ice pack or some painkillers with I finish those cuts..." Garnet responded.
The three guards left, going slowly with the two relatively fit guards escorted Gag out.
"I think we should head back upstairs now." I suggested.
"Hm? Oh, yes... we still need to go finish..." Cadence remembered.
"Hang on a second, Princess, were you and the Captain both in the shower?" The Hoofmaiden cut in.
"...Er, yes, I was, and I was going to go finish..."
"Together?!" Minuette almost squeed.
"No, in our own rooms. Why would we shower together?" I said quickly.
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Did you honestly say that, Captain?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): That's a good question, though, why would anypony think Cadence would shower with him?)
Of course, I knew exactly what Minuette was implying. Do I look like a foal? I was just playing dumb and trying to avoid the Princess getting flustered at the implications.
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh. ...Implying what?)
Moving on!
We went back upstairs. Sunset had apparently went off with Ranger. Twinkle Shine and Minuette however were following us.
"...So, before all that what were we doing? Oh, yes, I'm going to try to get Private Garnet transferred to your medic-less unit. Now, I'm going to go finish my shower, and you should get ready to clear up that matter this morning. I was supposed to be having breakfast with the Neighponese other royals but was pushed back to tomorrow."
"And what's the rest of the day, since I'm to be following you?"
"Well, most of this morning got rescheduled, and the afternoon had one thing ruined. We were supposed to go to the Stock Exchange near lunch, then head over Francis International Shipyards..."
The largest of the city's two civilian ports. Our Flotilla was over in the Navy Shipyards.
"They increased security so that's pushed back. We might visit the area of the riot last night, I understand some Columbian ponies may have been caught up in it."
Right: A neighborhood in the borough wasn't named 'Firefly' for no reason.
"In the evening we're supposed to be heading to a variety performance in honor of the new president. Singers, dancers, comedians, that sort of thing. And Shining, don't you dare suggest we enter Running Gag."
"That...uh, hadn't crossed my mind..."
Even compared to the high pace life of Canterlot this was making mine and everypony's head spin save our Hoofmaiden with an hour-glass cutie mark.
"But, we need to get that suit made up first after the assessments are done."
"Could I get away with Parade Uniform?"
"What?" Minuette wondered, just as we neared my room again.
"Look, I'll show you."
I demonstrated by unlocking my travel trunk and removing the green uniform. It was in need of a little pressing, but you'll never guess what kind of spell I can use for that. "It's neat, but not quite as flashy as Full Dress. It's supposed to be worn when off-duty and representing the guard, so before you ask we couldn't wear them at the Hooviet Embassy since was a formal occasion..."
"Sorry, I'm completely lost. There's all these different uniforms but don't the guards normally wander around in gleaming suits of armor?" Twinkle Shine asked. Cadence had stayed away from the army for the most part, and so had her hoof maidens.
"Heheh." I grinned sheepishly, "A few centuries back, Princess Celestia wanted a uniform for every occasion. We've kinda been gradually dialing back since them. Let me show you."
My regulation volumes were was in that box, the one with the letters and the book Cadence had hopefully forgotten in all the excitement. To ensure Cadence did not notice (and be reminded of) the things also in there, I quickly pulled out Volume Five, containing the right details.
"Here's the uniform regulations, with pictures..." I said, showing them quickly to the Hoofmaiden.
While they looked it all over, I pulled on my armor. I'd need to find a replacement chamfron somewhere...
Cadence seemed to be nodding, but the two hoofmaidens shared an alarmed glance and then spoke up.
"Hm. It's not bad worn, Princess, but I think it's not quite what you were looking for..." Twinkle Shine said.
"Bit too military for off-duty, yes..." Minuette added.
"Yes, and he really could use something to fit in better at some parties, after all, some dignitaries might want a specific dress code..."
What were they up to...
"Okay, so instead of a soldier you want me to look like a hitpony," I groaned.
"Oh, stop moaning. You're getting a suit and that's final. I have a shower to finish. I'll meet you downstairs. Oh, Twinkle Shine, can you dry the Captain off?"
"With pleasure."
"That's not..." I began to say, but a small wave of warmth washed over me and I was dry.
"...Necessary. Hold on, if it was that quick why'd you tell her to wait earlier?"
She only smiled. "See you later, Captain," she said, trotting off, "Minuette, can you doublecheck Gag and Ranger are alright for me?"
"You mean downstairs with... erm... Princess?"
"Will that be okay, Minuette?" Cadence genuinely asked.
"Y-yes, it will. I promise."
"Alright."
With that, she left. Twinkle Shine following. I decided I'd be better off going to see how the squad was holding up too.
Soon enough, we had stepped inside an embassy canteen largely full of early-birds, Guards, Marines, and some members of Baseplate's unit. Gag was now talking to Audience and a few other Guards, but looked a lot better already, I didn't know about his jokes.
For some reason Minuette had given Audience a wide berth, even though this meant she was avoiding Sunset as well. The other hoofmaiden didn't seem to notice though.
"They seem okay to me..." She muttered to herself.
Ellis was now sitting off beside Lieutenant Price and another Earth Pony, but I was shocked to see him now in the light of day. Ellis is a pretty big guy. He was raised on a farm, after all, and he's an Earth Pony. But right then he looked frighteningly small. Or maybe it was just the fact the other Earth Pony was absolutely huge, I told myself.
Yeah, right, myself replied. Price spotted us, and trotted over.
"Sir, Captain Baseplate was wondering, has Princess Cadenza told you anything about our unit?"
"Uh, no, not yet. Was she supposed to?"
"Well, that's okay, we can tell you shortly and save a little confusion, hopefully. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I noticed your Lance-Corporal seemed a bit out of it. I took the liberty of having one of my troopers chat with him."
"Oh. Is he a psychologist?" Minuette cut in.
"Well, no, but from the same hometown, and he can give a little help thanks to Black Thistle training. That's a sort of..."
"I know exactly what it is," she said, giving Audience a meaningful glance.
I decided to cut in.
"Okay... Ellis is in good hooves so I'll speak to him later, I guess. Price, I'm going to need to speak to you somewhere private shortly. Minuette, once you've checked how Ranger and Gag are feeling, would you mind letting Princess Cadence know I'm going to chat with Lieutenant Price in the gardens?"
"Um... Sure."
She'd taken another nervous look at Audience. Great, she was afraid of him. Or worse, attracted.
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Attracted? Why would that be a bad thing?)
Because at the time, I trusted exactly four ponies enough to not object if they were to ask my permission to ask Twilight out. One was suffering an acute stress reaction that threatened to balloon into full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder, one was Lieutenant Cherry Coke, one had a concussion, and the other was Audience.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Wait. I think I get why you'd trust Audience but what's so special about the others?)
Ellis and Gag because Twilight would probably say no and on top of that neither had displayed any more interest than the cursory glances they give pretty much any cute mare and were decent stallions on the off-chance she said yes, Cherry Coke because he's actually a nice enough guy and a good friend, even if his platoon doesn't like him much for some reason. But why do you think I'd trust Audience with her?
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Because he'd be ready not just to die to protect her but kill.)
...Actually, I trusted him because his Father is a General who writes military history books in his spare time and his mother is an archaeologist, both of which rubbed off on him so she'd probably like him. But you raise a good point. I hadn't considered that angle...
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Oh...)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus and Earth Pony): YOU'RE GOING OFF-TOPIC AGAIN, SHINING!)
Gah! Okay, okay, Just tell me to stop evading... Uh... get back on topic...
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Are you evading something, Captain?)
No, I mean... Yeah. I am. I'm trying to avoid talking about... well... it's a bad memory and this whole discussion's bringing it all back, not just Columbia but...
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Do you want to take another break?)
...No. I'm fine now. Honest!
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): No, I think maybe you should go have five minutes or so. Here, take this.)
A Game Colt? Hang on, this is the model that was built for unicorns.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): That's because it's mine. Not hers. But yes, you can borrow it. We'll come get you when we want to resume the interview.)
Well, okay... What game've you got inside? Oh, Invertebrates! That's a great game, the sheep that runs over and plants dynamite is awesome! ... Heh... You named one of the teams after Daring Do characters.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): He HAS been evading us. Joking around. Jabbering on about trivial matters. I'm fairly sure he knows more about us than he's letting on. And it's been getting worse the past couple of sessions. The more serious the subject matter the more he jokes around and pretend he's doing fine... What do you think?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): I've got to agree. We... We might be dealing with a more unknown quantity than we thought.)
(Interviewer's Notes(Earth Pony): Huh? But we know what's got to happen, right? I mean, it's already happened, hasn't it? He's not going to surprise us with something we didn't know happened or that doesn't make any sense, is he?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn and Pegasus): ....)
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Is he?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Time isn't a river in this world. Not anymore. It's more like an ocean for us. All we can do is hope Shining Armor's working off the same navigation charts as we are and he doesn't sink from the two storms at once.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Um... Shall I go get him back?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Let's give him a couple more minutes.)
++++
Fun game! Ready to resume? Yes? Okay! Once Minuette trotted off, Price went to speak to his Captain.
I started to feel on edge again when Baseplate came over, looking serious as he asked me to come meet him in the Embassy garden. He was like a different pony.
I didn't know if it was a good or bad sign that he'd been joking jovially during a climatic battle for survival, yet cheerlessly iron-jawed for a walk in the daisies.
The garden was empty when I arrived, a half-decent view over the river blocked by the fact someone had built a Germane Embassy in the way. Only a few roses would overhear what we spoke of, for Price was keeping an eye on the entrance door.
"Alright, laddie, I know you've got a command post that technically trumps me. I know you're a good guy, and I consider you a friend. But you breathe a word of this to the wrong pony and you are right in the horseapples, and so am I. This is literally 'if I told you I'd have to kill you' stuff..."
"Uh, well, if it's all the same, don't tell me..."
"No, Shining. If you tell anyone, you have to kill them. So for Celestia's sake, don't tell Princess Cadence."
Baseplate's demeanor could not have been graver.
"Um, if that's... Uh, look, if it's that big, I could probably live happily without knowing..."
He then grinned. "Nah, I'm just kidding, Shining. And we HAVE been asked to keep Cadence in the loop."
The grin faded.
"But it is pretty serious stuff. Shining, our unit is called the Special Air Service, and we were activated early on in the morning after Princess Cadence set off on her trip. We are not a reconnaissance unit, not entirely. Officially, you'll find us listed as a 'specialist air unit'. As though we're some weather control unit or a squad of airship engineers."
"What are you saying, Captain?"
"Every member of our unit is Black Thistle protocol. That's because the expectation is we will enter situations where we are highly likely to be forced to use lethal force to complete the mission objectives."
I was a little nervous and intimidated. Black Thistles weren't supposed to grouped together. Instead of wondering 'do I have to shoot him?' ponies like Baseplate and all his Special Air Service would wonder, 'Why has no one else shot him?' I was worried they'd be seen as a 'quick fix' solution.
"O-okay. Um, is it... Is it in case... I know Cadence is on this mission to try and get the world to get along better, there's been a bit more... chaos and strife than we'd have liked, but... Are you guys, are you... Are you Plan B?"
"Sort of, Shining. There's a more public unit, one the journalists can write about. They're called the Special Emergency and Life-preservation Service, or SEALS. They're being touted as non-lethal special forces. SEALS will be the public face of the 'Modern Equestrian Guard,' all badflank as any other nation's Special Forces, but instilled with good old-fashioned Equestrian values of compassion, empathy and the sanctity of life. They're competent, effective, and meant to be a public Plan B."
"So... You guys are like normal special forces, but you've still got Black Thistle rules? Okay, that's not... That's not so bad. I can deal with that."
"Our secondary role," Baseplate continued, "is to act like normal special forces, such as ANBU from Neighpon or Sandgriff and his boys. Our primary role is to act as backup. We're Plan C. Plan C if the SEALS ever fail. Plan C if the problem reaches the point where it needs to be ended right away."
"I... Okay. That's not as awful as I thought it was going to be when you said 'all Black Thistle.'"
He looked far too relieved.
And then I actually thought about it. I connected some dots. Two plus two...
"Wait a second... correct me if I misheard this, but isn't it true that your unit, the Special Air Service, was activated less than five hours before Nightmare Moon's return from the moon?"
"Yes, that's true," Price said, from where he stood.
"And you said you're Plan B if someone else fails... you mean when they die?"
"Well, Shining, that's..." Price began, but I was talking too fast.
"Then that means Celestia wasn't sure, was she?! She wasn't sure the Elements of Harmony would work! She had your team mobilized and ready to go in if Twilight hadn't managed it! To dispose of her sister!"
"Shining, you're being ridiculous!" Price protested.
"Am I?! And you got sent along here! She must've suspected Makarov would try something. She sent you lot along in case I had to be mopped up off the floor of a bucking tram graveyard or in case he attacked more openly! You were here to avenge us if we were killed! She planned it all, she knew she wasn't infallible and she had a bunch of killers primed and ready to go in, waiting for us to fail! She's no better than him, the Hooviets, she's treating us all like pawns and..."
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Princess Celestia would never do that!)
Baseplate thought so too. He promptly headbutted me.
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What!?)
Hey, he's Caledonian. It's pretty much how they say hello at times. And 'calm down, you twit.'
"Quite finished?" He said, voice level.
"Ow..." I groaned from the ground.
"Okay. Get a grip, Shining Armor Sparkle. You've misunderstood me entirely. Now, maybe you're just stressed. Maybe you've got too much going on in your head right now. But you're wrong, lad. You're right in some ways but totally wrong in the line of thinking you've gone down."
I groaned and got back up as he continued.
"Aye, we were backup for your sister, and aye, we were told what to expect, what to do if it didn't work. But Shining, one thing we do NOT do is stand by, coldheartedly awaiting the deaths of our comrades so we can sweep in and take over the mission! As though we were vultures or greedy heirs to some old fart's riches or somethin'!"
He snorted angrily.
"We were right behind Princess Celestia's beloved student and her friends, acting as guardian angels if they needed us. I doubt we could've hurt Nightmare Moon if we tried, we were there to save the ones who could stop her if we had to. We were following them from afar in light airships, literally a minute away when the sun rose and we were allowed to pull out. Our job wasn't that much different from normal guard procedure when you get down to it: save the innocent or die trying. We're just better equipped to take the other bastards with us, is all."
So, yeah. Overreacted a bit. Quite a bit, actually. Rather embarrassing. My accusations were baseless, unpatriotic, and maybe even a little treasonous. In hindsight... I wasn't really all there and just needed a bit of sense knocked back into me.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): With a headbutt.)
Yup. Anyway...
"Were... you there, Baseplate? Following after my sister?"
"Aye, wish we were closer to the holy light show. Hard to look up and over a forest where the average pegasus dares not fly..."
I had to wonder what kind of lunatics they found to be willing to fly light airships over Everfree, to be honest. Then I remembered half the Air Crew cadets I'd known, and the mystery was solved.
"I don't even think Nightmare Moon knew, but then again, I don't imagine she'd have been all that clued in on Light Airships, being one-thousand years behind the times, and all, maybe she was too focused on the Element Bearer girls, or maybe she just didn't care. I don't know and I don't really care, what matters is, we were there to make sure Twilight and the rest got the Tartarus out of there if their light show didn't work, just as we were here last night to keep you safe as well."
"S-So if Makarov had..."
"If he'd captured you last night, he wouldn't have got far. Don't you remember who showed up with the Air Naval Cavalry?" Price explained.
"...I've been a bloody idiot, haven't I?"
"Oh, aye, very much so, laddie. But between you and me, I think Princess Cadence prefers idiots..."
"What's that supposed to mean, Sir?" I asked.
Two things then happened. Curiously, a hoofball landed from over a nearby wall. And then Baseplate and Price both stood to attention.
"...Shining? Are you all right?" Cadence asked.
Presumably, she'd just walked up behind us. She'd been dried off after finishing up. Not that I had enjoyed the wet mane thing, oh no.
"Er, yes, I..."
"You look a bit woozy..."
"He headed the ball at the wrong angle, ma'am." Price reported, pointing at the ball.
She sighed.
"Really, Shining, playing with a ball? And not asking me to play? Serves you right! Anyway, the Air Naval officers will be here in time so you can get started at about half seven, but I'd like to speak with you about something first. Can you come with me?"
"Uh, okay, Your Highness... "
I then spotted two foals looking over the wall. The Germane Embassy was right next door.
"Entschuldigen Sie. Kˆnnen wir bitte unseren Ball wiederhaben??" One of the foals asked. Price picked up the ball.
"Nat¸rlich. junger Mann Aber bitte versuch nicht wieder, ihn ¸ber die Mauer zu werfen. Alles klar?" He replied, throwing
it back over.
"Danke, Herr Reiter!" The delighted pair cheered, and ducked away.
I have no idea what they said. I think Reiter is some kind of spaceship...
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): If I recall right, it's Equestrian.)
No it's not, it's Germane. Hey, why are you facehoofing?
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Think we should tell him what Baseplate's soldiers told us? About how they were under the presumption that Twilight would try to return to the castle first to search her own library for clues? And how tricky it was for them to figure out where she went without blowing their cover after Spike woke up and informed Canterlot she'd left? And how it was near-impossible it was for them to search Everfree, what with all the wild trees, and flying predators?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): No kiddo, I'd like the look on his face, but I think the Baseplate can tell him that himself. Or that their Navigator first thought Baseplate meant 'Whitetail Woods' because 'No pony would be insane enough to enter Everfree on hoof.' Not since a pegaus Royal Guard ended up petrified.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Didn't he get restored by Celly herself?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Yes and demanded on the spot he be 'un-restored' because he liked the zen feeling, thought he made a great statue, liked his spot in the Hall Of Heroes, and wanted to witness Celestia's one millionth birthday. The point is that, that forest eats even elite ponies alive! Dudes should have been assigned as Twilight's help from the start, rather than shadowing them all secretive-like.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Well... for the sake of argument, let's assume Luna's Nightmare self -- capable of fighting the sun herself -- COULD simply be gunned down by artillery or small arms fire. In the grand scheme of things, it STILL worked out for the best that Baseplate's team kept their distance. Remember: The Elements of Harmony don't need just the right Bearers, the Bearers all need to have true camaraderie with each other. If Twilight had traveled with an honor guard, all locked 'n' loaded with Alicorn-slaying über-bazookas, it... would've made a bad atmosphere for bonding.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Yeah. I hate to imagine how heartbroken Celly would've been if poor Lulu had to be hurt instead of saved. I kinda agree with Celly's thinking: deep down, Lulu did wanna lose, so she set things up so each of them had a chance to make real friends with Twilight.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): That's crazy.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Perhaps. But Nightmares are, by definition, insane. We all remember that.)
"Maybe… But are you sure I can't borrow a few elite platoons?"
Well Twiley, looks like you got your wish after all.
I followed Cadence. Twinkle Shine was waiting for us near the door to the gardens. The Princess spoke up as we all began walking together.
"Shining. I've got a couple of things to tell you. First, Commander Shepard told me she's selected one of her Light Airship officers to take over while you're off-duty, a Flight Lieutenant called Ace Rimmer. I understand you know him?"
"Yes, I do. He was at the academy with me, but he went the Air Navy route."
"What's he like? He'll technically be in charge for at least a day, after all."
"Well, he's... Uh... Quite a guy, really."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Could you expand on that?"
"Well, unlike most Pegasi members of the Air Navy flight crews he learned to fly light airships. You've seen how small and confined those are. A lot of Pegasi get antsy in cargo bays with the doors open. The majority of them wouldn't dream of letting themselves be shoved in such a tight, cramped cockpit."
"I see. Anything else?"
"Chivalrous type, but a bit of a ladies' stallion. Friendly, helpful, but modest. He doesn't lord his skills or position over anyone. Quite a guy, basically."
"He sounds like a bizarro-world Pegasus version of Blueblood to me."
"Actually, word has it that he's good friends with Blueblood." I noted.
A side-effect of being sent on errands far away from Canterlot, Blueblood had built up impressive airship experience. A Sunny Day article I read when I got back actually said he volunteered for many political missions to make up for a foalhood of never being allowed to set hoof outside the castle. Alright, I'll admit it, maybe he's not a lost cause.
"Oh. Well, at least Flight Lieutenant Rimmer has a good reference from you." Cadence said. "I think he'll be the officer sitting in with you interviewing your troops. Anyway, the second thing. I'm going to go speak to the commanding officer for the Embassy Guards. I want to make sure he has no objections to transferring Private Garnet over to your unit. That is, if you have no objections?"
"I'm okay with it. What'd Garnet, herself, say?"
"Oh, she's okay with it. The embassy never really needed a medic anyway, they could just call an ambulance or hire a civilian doctor, apparently." Twinkle Shine reported.
Typical military. Put a vital resource in a place it's not needed. I'm almost sure Equestrian scientists developed field rations that were as delicious, nutritious, and filling as they were imperishable, tents that never leaked and were easy to set up, barding three times lighter and six times stronger than the steel and aluminum we presently wear, and belt buckles that don't taste of metal, but all of that is piled up in some warehouse in Clydesdale that's supposed to be storing sandbags.
At breakfast with Cadence and Baseplate I did learn that our next stop-off was actually in Zebrafrica, not another Griffin nation as I'd first expected, but we'd be here another week or so until we went there.
The hoofmaidens maidens for their part sang a vocal version of 'End Of The Night' and drafted one of the sheep the in embassy's civil service.
The Air Navy would be arriving soon, so I excused myself from breakfast to go make sure all my troopers would be making their way down to the small conference room we were going to use for the assessments.
As I walked though, it was strange. Just having some breakfast, a nice chat about something other than nutcase deer, and I felt like the weight of the world was off my back. I let myself think things were looking up. I was just going up the stairs towards the troopers' quarters, when the world was filled with loudness.
"CELESTIA IN CANTERLOT!" I shouted, but was drowned out by the heavy thrum of the loudest musical instrument it had been my misfortune to encounter.
The Thunder Guitar. For non-pegasi, this is a device that's basically a set of guitar strings between two posts, stuck into a thundercloud and possibly manipulated to shape. Skilled players could produce gentle and soft melodies, or a hellish cacophony of Horse Metal, fueled by the power of the lighting, straight from the cloud.
Thunderchild favored the latter kind. Most Pegasi did. Speaking as a ground-dwelling unicorn who was mostly raised on his parent's old classic rock collections, I'm amazed most Pegasi aren't deaf.
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): WHAT? COULD YOU SPEAK UP?)
Anyway, Thunderchild and Corporal Griffen now stood at the doorway to his quarters, a room he shared with the other sergeants.
"That was a bit loud!" I noted as I approached.
"Uh, yes, sorry, Sir, I was actually keeping it quiet, but, er..."
"I asked if I could have a go. Sorry, Sir." Griffen said.
"Yeesh, if you two act any more sheepish you could join the civil service... Look, just remember to keep the door closed and the noise down next time. And remember not to hit ponies who ask for 'Stairway to Elysium or Free Griff. Some ponies LIKE those songs!"
It turned out that Thunderchild hadn't heard about the accident, but then again, with that guitar he could have failed to hear a tank division approach and open fire on him. But hey, Equestria doesn't have any tank divisions so he's safe there, I guess. Griffen went back on his patrols, and I fetched the other troopers involved.
As we walked, I looked to Thunderchild. "Hey...thanks for saving my flank last night. Makarov was doing a pretty good job of kicking it when you gave him that shock."
"It was an honor Sir. And if I might say, a pleasure to see that smug smirked wiped off Makarov's face for a few seconds."
"I agree whole heartedly."
Apple was downstairs, Audience was getting a separate assessment. Gag... hadn't actually seen anything major the previous night, but was off-duty because there were no active squads with gaps needing filled in. It had been the command squad and Misfit One-Three's members present in the train station, and so, the two main sections were intact. The four pegasi of those squads were off duty because frankly, trying to put them anywhere else temporarily was going to cause confusion given the squads were only a few days old.
Even so, if it had come down to it, having the four of them hanging around with their new squadmates for the day or two off would have been a good step in warding off any serious mental repercussions from what they'd all seen. Misfit One-Three hadn't all known each other, but my squad did.
Dancer and Party, as well as Marelowe, had all been in the one room, talking with Sweetwater and Lance-Corporal Redford, the pegasi of One-Three.
All of the troopers being assessed today had been allowed to not wear armor, which actually surprised some of the Marines. Apparently, Columbia's military tries to encourage any troopers undergoing possible stress reactions to maintain a sense of military identity. We, on the other hoof, had reasoned that to do that could be seen as encouraging troopers to think of themselves as soldiers first, and equine beings second. Columbia's stance relied on the pride of being soldiers. Different folks, different strokes.
Marelowe, the Zebra Lance-Corporal, looked like he hadn't slept well and I feared that two of my most junior NCOs might have been heading down dark roads. Dancer, the female Earth Pony, looked okay but seemed a bit thoughtful. Party (the unicorn with some first aid skills) on the other hoof seemed a bit difficult to read, like she was regretting something.
They were quiet on the way down. I noted this, but it could easily have just been a reaction to following me. Thunderchild was not being assessed as he'd not seen anything too traumatic, so I had him go fetch Ellis. We soon reached the conference rooms.
I addressed the group of three ponies and one zebra.
"Troopers, to make it clear, this is not therapy. It's just a debriefing of sorts. All we're doing here is letting you talk, discuss what happened. If you'd rather remain silent on an issue, we won't press it if you really don't want to talk about it, but I think it's best you're honest and tell us everything you can. What you all saw was traumatic, and I can tell you from personal experience that if we were to leave you all to think about it for a while without talking it over with you, well, it can lead to things I'd not wish on anyone."
Anyone evil enough for me to wish that kind of mental trauma on was probably a sociopathic nutcase in the first place, and might enjoy things that would drive normal people insane. Probably. I'm no psychologist.
(Interviewer (Unicorn): Even someone with a black hole for a heart can be worn down if hit by those things long enough.)
"We're just waiting on the Air Navy Officers to arrive. One of them will be sitting in with me while the rest are going to be preparing to deal with the other matter in the room next door to us."
I heard hoofsteps nearing, and turned to see not the Air Navy, but three others: Cadence and Minuette weren't too much of a shock. Commander Bond was a surprise, though. The troopers stood to attention until Cadence bid them to sit back down.
"Hello, everyone. No need to salute, please, we're just here to ask the Captain a few things."
Bond then spoke.
"The other Air Navy officers haven't arrived yet, by the way, Captain. I was out in town dealing with a little business. Once we're done with this, I'll need to speak with you and the Princess about something."
I nodded.
"All right, though I thought the Princess had something arranged..."
"Actually, that can be delayed a little. What I wanted to ask was a few things about these assessments. First, I was wondering if Commander Bond could sit in with you as well as Flight Lieutenant Rimmer. He has some experience with these matters..." Cadence asked.
"I'd be okay with it if the troopers have no objections."
None of them did.
"Secondly, well, I don't have much to do and rather than just sit around I was wondering if maybe I could speak with your troopers while they're waiting? Not about what you'll discuss, just to... talk with them, sort of thing. I've got some things to thank them for."
I was okay with this, and so, the last conference room in this little hall was taken over for Cadence to host a tea party of sorts. Well, not quite. But she did send Minuette off to fetch some refreshments since it emerged none of the four had actually managed to have breakfast yet. I figured maybe it'd help calm the troopers down a little.
It was only just as the Air Navy officers arrived did it hit me I'd be taking them out of a pleasant chat with the Princess, back into a memory they all wanted out of their heads before it could get better. We had to do it though. Trying to erase memories of trauma, well, even if a doctor approves, all it really does is put a mental block. And some traumas can easily bypass it.
However, Ace Rimmer was an old friend, so seeing him was a boost. Bond went off to speak with the other officers as I greeted the Pegasus Flight Lieutenant. He was wearing a silver bomber jacket with a pair of aviator sunglasses.
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): ...What's his cutie mark?)
An eagle with wings spread in front of a small collection of stars. He's a skilled flyer outside of airships too, you see.
"Well, well, if it isn't Shiney Sparkle. Or should we be calling you Iron Balls now after last night?"
He grinned as he raised a hoof. I bumped it back.
"Good to see you again, Ace. How have things been?"
"Not nearly as exciting as things with you, I'm afraid. Pleased to hear you got out of all that okay, must have been nasty. Commander didn't want to send the attack boats out though, would have been too aggressive. Besides, I hear you and Thunderchild took out their little tanks without much help."
"They were actually Tripods, but.... Maybe we should get on with this?"
"Sure thing, Sparks."
Star Dancer for her part was scoping out Ace the way he normally scoped out mares. I took in a breath.
"Okay, Lance-Corporal Apple, let's start with you. I know it must be hard, but I'd like you to tell me your recollection of last night." I began.
He nodded slowly.
"Well, um... Ah followed... Audience, and went past the first Diamond Dog back in the tunnel. But, uh, Ah was okay with that for some reason. Ah felt a little queasy but Ah just walked away. Ah got up to the station and Ah was fine, and we went in and... Ah felt really pleased we'd got 'em all alive, especially after seein' one had to be killed back in the tunnels..."
He paused quite a bit, as if expecting questions. We had to remind him gently to keep going.
"...So, Ah… When them Deer came down and starting firin', Ah… Ah didn't feel scared. Ah was actually feelin' kind of... excited. Ah thought Ah was going to get a chance to stop them Deer too, and help out everypony else. And then Captive shouted about the dogs and Ah just..."
A noise outside made his eyes dart fearfully to the door. He'd seemed ready to jump up for a second, but just stared at the door. I tried to get him back focused on us.
"...Bitter Apple, have you ever..."
He replied right away, still staring at the door. "Ellis. It's Ellis. Sir."
'Oh bucking Tartarus'
"I'm sorry about that, but..."
"Ah don't get it, sir. Most everypony, they seem to forget mah first name. Ah dunno why. Is it... Is it 'cos 'Ellis' doesn't sound very apple-y? But it is, it's what my Ma and Pa grow on the farm. Ellis Bitters. They're a good strain for cider. Ah got my cutie mark fixin' the cider pumps..."
"Ellis. Have you been thinking about that often, people getting you name wrong?" Ace asked.
He finally looked back at us.
"...U-um, yes..."
"You can be informal if you wish, Ellis. We're not Captain Sparkle, Flight Lieutenant Rimmer, or Commander Bond, not right now. We're Shining, Ace, and Manes."
"Is... Is that okay, Sir?"
He asked this to me.
"Of course. Ellis, I'm sorry about that slip of the tongue, but I want you to know that I don't think of you as just one of my troopers, but as one of my friends as well. And please, it's Shining."
He nodded.
"Now, Ellis, can we talk about last night again? When Captive shouted about the dogs?" Bond prompted gently.
He swallowed.
"Ah… Ah just froze when Ah saw 'em. They were all torn up, and... Ah've never seen anythin' like that. Ah just couldn't stop shakin' and Ah… Ah wanted to be sick. Ah..."
It was difficult for me to maintain my composure at that point. So many conflicting emotions. Sorrow for Ellis and how he'd reacted. Anger at Makarov for causing all this. Anger at myself, for not having taken proper care of my friends, for not protecting the dogs as well last night.
"What happened after that, can you recall?" I asked.
"Ah just... Ah felt like things went fast and slow. Everypony was like in slow motion and going a hundred miles an hour at the same time. Ah'd just be looking at the wall a second and then somepony would talk to me, and it felt like Ah'd been staring at the wall fer hours. Ah couldn't stop shaking, Ah had to go to the colt's room a few times, Ah felt dizzy and sick and short of breath... Ah didn't know what Ah was doing until Captive just made me sit down and called over a police griffin who looked at me. Ah don't really remember much about what happened after that, Ah… Ah just came back here and couldn't sleep. Ah felt exhausted but Ah couldn't sleep. Ah think Ah was out for an hour or two but Ah ain't sure."
"How do you feel now?" Bond asked.
"Tired. Ah tried to eat somethin' earlier but Ah wasn't hungry."
Rimmer nodded. "Ellis, it seems to me you've suffered a very severe combat stress reaction. The good news is, that while you might not feel so great now, these things can improve remarkably fast..."
"Will Ah be able to go back on duty soon?"
"Hopefully. Ellis, you should be feeling better in a few days or maybe even hours. What will happen is your friends and squadmates will be there for you. They're going to help you feel normal, and you're going to help yourself. You might feel like you can't cope now, but it's going to improve, and I'm sure deep down, you know that yourself. Try not to worry if you can. We might find you some light work to do, maybe we'll just have you hang out with your friends. But the important thing is, you never failed." Rimmer continued.
"Ah..."
"Ellis, it was no one's fault." Bond said gently.
'Except mine,' I thought.
To back Bond up though, what I said was:
"Manes and Ace are right, Ellis. We were all there with you. You didn't let us down. There was no choice you could have made that would have changed things..."
'Me, on the other hoof...'
"We're all proud of what you did last night and none of us think any less of you for how this all went. If anything, I'm proud you've been able to speak to us about it so openly." I continued.
"Well... Ah'm an Apple, Si... Shining. We're honest folk. Ah'd say AJ's prove that. Ah-"
He blinked, and almost then, it was like he was starting to come back. I tried not to grin.
"-well, we got a few cousins in Manehatten that're complete plotholes, but they're okay in their own way. They just need to remember they got family around them is... all..."
He frowned.
"Uh... Ah feel a little.. kind of silly now. Is that normal?"
"Well... Yeah, sorry. You can be quite a silly pony at times, buddy." I said honestly.
He smiled. So did I.
"Yah know... that's what we all used to say about AJ... Er, Applejack... See, when she was a filly... "
We let him talk. By his usual standards, Ellis was still a little slow, but he was coming back to us.
'Up yours, Makarov. You can't break my friends that easily, you greasy little motherbucker.'
The rest of them were thankfully swift. Not that we begrudged Ellis a chance to think about things other than last night. I just hoped he didn't talk Cadence to death when he went through...
"Well, Sir, to be honest, I was worried about Ellis. But... I don't know what you guys said, but he looks a hundred times better already."
"So, you've not got any concerns, Star Dancer?"
"Well, no. I felt a bit sick with the dogs last night, but... Well, I'm sorry they were killed. But I was just glad we all got out okay, and I'm glad Ellis is getting better too. It's just weird to see him look so small, you know?"
Private Happy Party had got over her giggles, and she was quite calm talking about the event. She regretted not being able to do much for the dogs, but knew that there probably was little else anyone else could do. She was sure they didn't suffer much. She too had been worried for Ellis.
She did seem to be... enjoying herself towards the end though.
"Am I thinking about trivial things? Well, uh... this might sound odd, Sir, but... I kind of like your mane when you're not wearing your chamfron. Is that weird?"
"I'd say no, I was jealous how he could just walk out of the showers and look better than me after ten minutes of combing and gelling back in the academy." Ace said.
She unfortunately then giggled.
"...Tell me, Happy, are you related to Minuette?"
Marelowe, however, was a bit of a surprise.
"I felt nothing, Sir. I just looked at the dogs, and... Nothing. I know it's not right, but... They were mercenaries. Just hired guns out to kill for money. I wasn't born in Kundu, but I was penfriends as a colt with some of my cousins who still stayed there. We were basically teaching each other Kunduese and Equestrian. Even when the civil war started they still wrote. They managed to make some of the factions sound so stupid."
He gave a small laugh, but there was no real humor behind it.
"I mean, there were mercenary groups and little factions called things like the Radicals, the Hive, the Nasty Boys, Shadow Company... They sounded like wrestling tag teams, not vicious killers! Hay, even the two big anti-government groups sounded goofy. New World Order? Nation of Domination? It sounded like a Saturday morning kids' show. 'Join Captain Kundu as he fights the evil Nation of Domination, and their vicious Diamond Dog allies, the Nasty Boys!' I mean...come on!"
He sighed.
"We never heard from any of them after the Hooviets forced the Columbian peacekeepers to withdraw. The civil war just erupted right back up again. It barely just ended last year, and only because the New World Order finally beat the Nation of Domination. They tore the democratic government to shreds years ago. Literally. "
He looked me in the eye.
"So, sorry, Sir. But I didn't lose a darn moment of sleep last night. I saw those dead mercenaries, and I remembered what people like them had did to my cousins, to my parent's homeland. I didn't feel happy, but I wasn't sad either. I just couldn't find it in me to give a horseapple about mercenaries. Karma's a bitch. No pun intended. ...Well, maybe a little intended."
Our 'debriefing' was over. Now came the big one, what I was most nervous about. I went off to fetch Audience. If he was nervous he might be heading for a court martial for unlawful killing, he didn't show it.
The officers who would hear his case were Shepard, Bond, and Hornblower. I was merely to observe. The only other soul in the room was an Air Navy unicorn officer with a typewriter, logging the official record.
Shepard was chairpony of the inquiry.
"Scribe, let the record show that this is stage one of Fatal Incident Inquiry Four, held under Black Thistle protocols at this time. The purpose of this inquest is to determine if the shooting of an unidentified suspect by Private Captive Audience, of the Royal Guard of Princess Cadenza. On the panel, Commander Hanneigh Shepard, Captain of Her Highnesses' Ship Invincible, Lieutenant Commander Hornblower, Executive Officer of Her Highnesses' Ship Invincible, and Lieutenant Commander Manes Bond, Third Officer of Her Highnesses' Ship Invincible. In attendance as an observer, Captain Shining Armor Sparkle, of the Royal Guard of Princess Cadenza, and Commanding Officer to Private Audience. Let the record also note that Captain Sparkle was present at the time, and that his witness statement will not be sought here but will be added later to any additional statements being sought outside these proceedings by additional officers. Does anyone object to the presence of any individuals in the room so noted as present by the record?"
No one replied.
"Private Audience, the nature of the inquiry is such that whilst you are not presently being charged or placed under arrest, that you may incriminate yourself in the course of proceedings leading to this inquiry being expanded to a Court Martial stage. Do you understand and accept this risk?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
This went on a short spell. Audience was asked, and confirmed, if he understood everything. That he faced from us parole or arrest to face a full inquiry under standard fatality protocols, that the MoD would review our findings and decision, that they might reverse it or agree to it, that his commanding officers would be obtaining separate statements from other witnesses for submission to the MoD...
"Very well. Private, please explain your view of the events." Shepard finished.
He started recounting how the alert was raised, his orders given. He soon reached the bit about the tunnel.
"...I approached through the tunnels, hearing gunfire ahead and unable to contact Captain Sparkle or any other troopers. I came across a small train yard, and observed the Captain and a Griffin under fire from a a rapid-firing volley gun type device, with multiple barrels. The operator of the device was shielded by metal plating with a very thin cutout to see through, leaving only a very small gap to take any shot. Furthermore, he was tight against the wall and in a corner, meaning that getting behind him or trying to approach with stealth would be impossible or pose great risk. I observed that Captain Sparkle and the Griffin appeared to be pinned down behind cover that was being removed by the force of the enemy weapon, and, uncertain if the weapon was capable of further penetrating his shields either with sustained fire or if it overcame the physical cover, I determined that a threat to life was posed by the enemy action. I could not identify any weapons the Griffin carried at this point, and was uncertain if he was police or military, or if he had any weapons capable of piercing the cover of the attacker."
Translation: He showed up, saw no way around, had no idea if I could hold the shield, had no idea Frost was carrying anything that could have helped.
"In addition, I reasoned that any cover I could find for myself could be unreliable at that point, and, uncertain if the enemy was aware of my presence, realized any failed attempts to stun him would alert him. Even if I was able to reach cover, I was uncertain I would be able to extricate either myself or the Captain and the Griffin safely from the area with the minimum risk to life. I therefore determined the best course of action was to take a lethal shot through the available window, as all other options for incapacitation either posed too great a risk to others or myself, or could result in undue suffering or injury to the suspect as well as retain the risk the suspect could remain in fighting condition."
He had no idea if he'd been spotted by either party, he couldn't trust the cover, couldn't risk botching a stun spell and getting him or us shredded in return, and a shot other than the one that he had taken would have caused unneeded suffering with the possibility it wouldn't stop the Dog.
"I took the shot, and aimed it to inflict as instant and painless a resolution as possible. This was successful, the bolt striking the cranium of the target, which would have caused the immediate cessation of motor and cognitive functions."
He shot him in the head.
"Is that the conclusion of events, Private?" Shepard asked.
Audience confirmed. Now it was question time.
"Private, I will now ask a number of questions. These may have been answered already by your statement, but this is for the record and to ensure consistency and accuracy in the proceedings. Do you understand this?"
"Yes, sir."
"For these questions, please confirm with a yes, no, or uncertain. If you object to these questions being asked, you may do so now, though it may harm your defense if this later is upgraded to a Court Martial in addition to possibly affecting the outcome of this inquiry."
"I have no objections, Sir."
Bond then asked: Did the target pose a threat to life? Could Audience see any reasonable alternative at the time, and once he had felt lethal force was the only choice, did he make it as painless as possible?
The answers were yes, no, yes. Just like Frost the night before.
Hornblower now spoke up.
"We will now ask broader questions based upon your statement, and you may answer these questions with as detail a reply as you wish, or maintain silence, though I remind you again that silence may harm your defense if this later is upgraded to a Court Martial in addition to possibly affecting the outcome of this inquiry. Private, you stated you could not identify the Griffin or any weapons he carried. What made you sure he was friendly?"
"Captain Sparkle was shielding him, Sir."
"If the Griffin had been carrying grenades or a disposable rocket launcher visible to yourself, would that have altered your reaction to the situation?" Bond threw in.
"No, Sir. If the Griffin had not used those weapons already, it would have been my assumption something presented an obstacle to use, such as close proximity to the blast area, or difficulties in clearing the backblast of any launcher."
"Would Stun spells have been a viable alternative?" Shepard.
"Not in my opinion, ma'am. Accuracy with such spells is limited to hitting within a six-inch diameter area at up to fifty meters. Though range to the target was approximately twenty meters, the only available areas to hit posed risks that the stun bolts would strike cover or risk other side effects. If the suspect had been hit in the foot, he may have not been properly stunned and could have altered fire onto my position. Hitting his head was very unlikely as the window he was looking through was at most, four inches high, leaving a significant area of possible impact that would be harmless to the suspect."
"And your bow shooting is more accurate?" Bond questioned.
"Yes, Sir. I can reliably hit a within a half-inch diameter area at up to seventy meters, one inch at a hundred and ten, and two inches at a hundred and fifty. Further ranges using magic boosting or guidance hit within a four inch area at up to three hundred meters and within a one foot area for longer ranged arc fire."
"How wide are the heads of the bolts you fire from your crossbow?" Hornblower asked.
"About half an inch."
"So, to be certain, your bow fires with pinpoint accuracy, whilst alternative spells would have risked a miss and potentially been too large to be viable?"
"Correct, sir."
"Was in possible for Captain Sparkle to teleport himself and the Griffin out of the way?" Shepard wondered.
"If it was, Ma'am, it was my belief he would have already done so, though I was aware at the time Captain Sparkle was rather poor at teleportation alongside maintaining any additional spells. If he had tried to teleport, it was likely he would have been killed or injured in the process. In addition, trying to teleport another individual would have made the situation even more complex, widening the window he would need to calculate the teleport."
There was silence now.
"Does the panel have any further questions?"
None were forthcoming.
"Does the Private wish to add anything else?"
"No, Ma'am."
"Very well. Let the record show the panel will now give opinions on how they feel this inquiry should proceed. These opinions must be unanimous if they are to absolve the Private of wrongdoing. If one single voice feels that the case should be immediately submitted to the Ministry of Defense for upgrade to Court Martial, it will be done, though the objections of the two other panelists will be noted when making this upgrade and the Ministry of Defense may reject the dissenting opinion. Private Audience, if you would prefer to decline opinions and move to a Court Martial immediately, you may exercise this option."
"No, Ma'am."
"Very well. First opinion: Commander Shepard. It is the view of this officer that Private Captive Audience, in using lethal force against an unknown suspect, was wholly justified in his actions. It is the view of this officer that no viable alternative that did not increase the risk to life was presented."
Bond stood. He said the same thing.
I could feel myself shaking as Bond finished, and Hornblower began to stand. If he was a lone dissenting voice, my trooper, my friend... his career was at risk. He risked arrest, the hell of the courtrooms, a long-term imprisonment, dishonorable discharge, and worse, the stigma of being a 'killer pony' all his life.
And I feared where he'd go from there. Would he kill one more pony, or would he leave Equestria and head for where his sharpshooting talents would be in high demand? A foreign police force? A gang of lawless mercenaries? Bounty hunting?
Reminded me of the Four Horsemen, four 'elite soldiers' who were thrown out of Guard and other armies and were a fearsome kill-squad for hire. Of course they were just a horror story made up of rumors and fears. Like curses. The only Day Guard that would fit the bill as one of them would be in his sixties by now. I didn't want to see Captive Audience become the truth behind the myth.
I came back to reality as Hornblower cleared his throat and spoke up.
"It is the view of this officer that Private Captive Audience, in using lethal force against an unknown suspect..."