//------------------------------// // Princess Celestia // Story: The Rainbow Blitz Disaster // by arglefumph //------------------------------// "That stallion does not want to talk to us," Applejack said. "What was that nonsense he was spoutin' about some evil unicorn?" "He seems to think that Trixie brainwashed us," Twilight said. "Yeah, he said we were going to kill him!" Pinkie Pie said. "Not to be a meanie-weanie, but that's crazy!" "If anything, this confirms that he has something to do with Rainbow Dash's disappearance," Rarity said. "Use the summoning spell on him again, Twilight. We won't let him escape a second time!" "I've got a better plan," Twilight said. "Why don't I just use the summoning spell to bring Rainbow Dash here?" "That way, she could still be here in time for the tryouts!" Pinkie Pie said. "Twilight, you're a genius!" "Yes, Rainbow Dash could tell us what happened," Fluttershy agreed. "Here goes nothing!" Twilight said. She began the summoning spell, but after about a minute of work, it became obvious that nothing would result. Twilight cancelled the spell. "Well?" Rarity asked. "It's not working," Twilight said. "She must be too far away for me to reach. We are in Cloudsdale, after all." "So...what now?" Applejack asked. "Hmmm..." Pinkie Pie said, thinking. "Oh, I know! Party at Fluttershy's parents' house!" "Eep!" Fluttershy said. "No, they'd get mad!" Rainbow Blitz flew nonstop to Canterlot, although he did slow down a bit once he felt he was safe. What is going on here? Rainbow Blitz wondered. All five of my friends have been turned into mares! And it's not just them! All the stallions in Ponyville have become mares, too! And in Cloudsdale, it was the same kind of thing! The colts and the mares in the Wondercolts all...switched places! It was weird! What is going on, and why do I seem to be the only pony who hasn't been affected? Rainbow's best guess was that a unicorn had cast a huge magic spell, which caused ponies to change genders. But who could do such a thing? And why? Would this mysterious evil unicorn attack Rainbow Blitz, if she found out he escaped her spell? The Prince will know what to do, Rainbow Blitz thought. Solaris has always been able to help us out. He, like, started the magic school that Dusk Shine went to. He'll know all about this spell! ...I hope. Finally, Canterlot came into view. Rainbow put on a burst of speed and flew straight towards Canterlot Castle. He didn't know where the Prince was, but he was determined to find Solaris. Even if that meant searching every single room in the large building. As it so happened, Princess Celestia was walking down one of the halls with two visitors, discussing the housing crisis. You see, the economy in Equestria was so bad that most ponies couldn't afford to buy their own houses. Hence, most ponies had to live where they worked, like Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Pinkie Pie did. "If we could close unsuccessful businesses and replace them with new stores, it would help—" one pony said. "I refuse to let any of my subjects become homeless," Princess Celestia said firmly. "The important thing is not making money, but saving lives." "You must consider the greater good," the other visitor said. "This plan will help a lot of ponies." "I do not want to help a lot of ponies," Princess Celestia said calmly. "I want to help all ponies." The economic debate continued, until they were interrupted by a scream from a nearby hall. "PRINCE SOLARIS? WHERE ARE YOU?" a voice shouted. Celestia stopped suddenly. "Prince Solaris?" she asked. "Who is making that noise?" one of the ponies asked. "Pardon me for just a moment," Princess Celestia said. She galloped to a nearby guard station, and ordered the guards to bring her the pony who was making a disturbance about Solaris. Princess Celestia almost forgot about the disturbance, until about an hour later, when she was dining with Princess Cadance. Their meal was interrupted when the doors opened and in walked the Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor. "Shining!" Cadance said. "Want to join us for lunch?" "Sorry, Cadance," Shining Armor said. "I'm here on official business." "Oh?" Princess Celestia asked. "Has something happened?" Shining bowed to his princess, then stood up straight. "We caught the troublemaker you were looking for." He gestured towards the doorway, where two guards were standing. At Shining's signal, they slowly walked into the room. Between them, they had Rainbow Blitz in chains. "This is unfair!" Rainbow Blitz complained, as he struggled to get loose. "When Prince Solaris learns what you've done, you guys are so fired! I've saved the kingdom like nine times by now!" "Prince Solaris?" Princess Cadance asked. "Who is he?" "The rightful ruler of Equestria!" Rainbow Blitz shouted. "You phony ponies should—mmmph!" Shining Armor used his magic to silence Rainbow Blitz, by shoving a napkin in his mouth. "He keeps spouting nonsense about Prince Solaris and some kind of mare spell," Shining Armor said. "We would have caught him sooner, but he's a very fast flier." Princess Celestia left her place and went around the table to get a closer look at Rainbow Blitz. It did not take her long to determine his identity. "You are a long way from home, Rainbow...Blitz, isn't it?" she said. "I'm guessing the pony responsible is...what was his name? Oh, yes, Dusk Shine." Rainbow Blitz shook his head, because he could not say anything with his mouth blocked. "No?" Celestia asked. "The mare version of him, then." Rainbow Blitz slowly nodded, unsure what else he should do. At his response, Princess Celestia stood up fully. "What should we do, Princess?" Shining Armor asked. "I think I should send a letter to your sister," Celestia said. Twilight didn't receive the Princess' letter until she and her friends had returned to Ponyville, around three. She immediately had to run around town, gathering her friends for an impromptu trip to Canterlot. There was some trouble with Applejack—Big Mac was mighty sore about the fact that she was skipping out on her farm duties twice in one day—but they all managed to catch a ride on the 5:00 train. "Trust the Princess to solve the problem before we even tell her about it!" Twilight Sparkle gushed. "That's why she's the best mentor ever! I'm so lucky to have her as my teacher!" "Yes, the Princess is wonderful," Rarity said, rereading Celestia's letter. "But...this doesn't sit right with me." "What?" Twilight asked. "What's wrong?" "The letter only talks about Rainbow Blitz," Rarity said. "It doesn't mention Rainbow Dash at all." "She's right," Fluttershy said. "What happened to Rainbow Dash?" "We know she's not in Cloudsdale," Twilight said. "And she's not in Ponyville—I tried summoning her there, too." "Maybe she's in Canterlot, waiting for us!" Pinkie Pie suggested. "If she was there, why didn't the Princess mention it?" Rarity pointed out. "I highly doubt she'd overlook something like that." "You have a point," Twilight said. "Where is Rainbow Dash? Maybe Rainbow Blitz knows, and that's why he doesn't want to talk to us." "Maybe he's just embarrassed to talk to ponies, because Rainbow is a girl's name!" Pinkie Pie suggested. "That too," Twilight allowed. In an unexpected turn of events, Princess Celestia herself was waiting by the entrance to the palace, ready to greet the Elements of Harmony. "Hello, girls," Princess Celestia said. "It's wonderful to see you all again." "Princess!" Twilight said. She ran forward to meet her mentor. "We came here as fast as we could." "Yes, and I thank you very much," Celestia said. "I believe that only you can help me return Rainbow Blitz to his home." "You know where he's from?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Indeed I do," Celestia said. "It's a long story, but I'm sure it will be—are we missing somepony? Where is your friend Rainbow Dash?" Twilight's face fell. "I thought you knew, Princess," she said. "She's been missin' for the past few days," Applejack said. "Oh, my," Princess Celestia said. "That is certainly not good news." "Does—doesn't Rainbow Blitz have something to do with her disappearance?" Rarity asked. "Perhaps," Princess Celestia said. "What do you know about Rainbow Blitz?" All five ponies spoke at once. "He refuses to talk to us!" "He's a womanizing scoundrel!" "He scares me..." "He's mighty odd, that's for sure." "He's really good at kissing!" A silence fell over the group, as everypony turned to stare at Pinkie Pie. "What?" Pinkie Pie asked. "That's what Rosemary at the spa said!" Princess Celestia smiled slightly. "The truth is, Princess, we don't know much about Rainbow Blitz," Twilight said. "He either tries to avoid us, or in the case of Rarity, flirt with us." "I see," Princess Celestia said. "I take it, then, that none of you have any idea of who he is? Or where he's from?" The ponies shook their heads. "Why?" Twilight asked. "Is it important?" "It is very important," Princess Celestia said. "He is from another universe." "What?" five ponies yelled in confusion. "Not just any universe," Celestia explained. "A universe which is just like ours, except it is gender-swapped. In his home universe, all the mares are colts, and all the colts are mares." "Wait...you mean?" Twilight asked. "Yes," Celestia said. "Rainbow Blitz is the male version of our friend Rainbow Dash. For all intents and purposes, he is Rainbow Dash, if she had been born as a colt." "...Okay, somepony pinch me," Applejack said. "Ah'm about ready to wake up from this dream now." Pinkie Pie pinched Applejack. "Ouch!" Applejack said. "I have been speaking with Rainbow Blitz," Princess Celestia said. "And he says that he first came to our universe—the mare universe—when Twilight Sparkle brought him here." "But...I don't even know how to open an inter-dimensional wormhole!" Twilight protested. "Wait a minute," Rarity said. "Do you mean to say, he comes from a universe where stallions are in charge of everything? How horrifying!" "I dunno, Stallion World sounds fun!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down. "Can I meet the stallion version of me?" "This...this is not good," Fluttershy said. "I don't think we should spend the entire night out here, talking," Princess Celestia said. She gestured towards the entrance. "Let us go inside and have dinner first. I imagine you are all hungry after the train ride here." There was a murmur of agreement. The ponies followed Princess Celestia's invitation, and they all went inside. As Twilight Sparkle passed, the Princess put out a hoof, preventing her from proceeding. "Twilight, I know you brought Rainbow Blitz here with a summoning spell," Princess Celestia said. "You and I need to discuss this spell, very carefully." "Y...yes," Twilight gulped. I'm in trouble... Princess Celestia shook her head. Based on Twilight's information, no inter-dimensional travel should ever have occurred three days ago. "Are you sure Rainbow Dash was nowhere near the library?" Celestia asked. "I was the only pony inside the building," Twilight said. "Not even Spike was there. I guess it's possible that Rainbow Dash was flying right outside, though." "But you were in the center of the library," Celestia said. "Not standing next to any walls?" "That's right," Twilight said. Celestia pondered this. It is impossible to create an inter-dimensional wormhole which is over seven feet in diameter. Even if Twilight had unknowingly created one, there was nopony within range at the time. "I just don't know what went wrong," Celestia said. "The only explanation is that your summoning spell went through a wormhole to Rainbow Blitz's dimension." "But there was no wormhole in the Golden Oaks Library," Twilight said. "I know that," Princess Celestia said. "But instead of summoning him from another dimension, you sort of...swapped him with our Rainbow." "I wasn't performing a swapping spell, though," Twilight said. "I swear, all I did was a standard summoning spell. There's no way it could have ended up like this." "I believe you," Celestia said. Twilight let out a huge sigh of relief at that. "But there has to be more going on here than we know about at the current moment. Nopony can accidentally travel through dimensions, without knowing it." They discussed various possibilities, but the two magic users could not think of a good explanation for what had happened. Deciding to put off thinking about it until later, Princess Celestia and Twilight entered the dining room together. The four friends had already gotten started on their meal. "Sorry for the holdup, everypony," Princess Celestia said. "Twilight and I were discussing the magical aspects of what happened." "So what did happen?" Applejack asked. "As far as I can tell..." Princess Celestia said. "Somehow, Rainbow Blitz and Rainbow Dash switched places. Now he's in the mare universe, and she's in the stallion universe." "Oh, then, no big deal, right?" Pinkie Pie said. "All you have to do is cast the same spell again, and everything will be back to normal." "Er...not exactly," Twilight said. Rarity sighed. "Of course it wouldn't be that simple," she said. "Well, then what do we do?" Pinkie Pie asked. "There is only one thing we can do," Princess Celestia said seriously. "We have to send somepony to the stallion universe, so she can find Rainbow Dash and bring her back here." "Wait, what?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "We have to—we have to go to another universe?" "One of you does, yes," Princess Celestia said. "It's the only way." "But there are millions of universes!" Twilight Sparkle said. "How do we know which one to go to?" Celestia smiled to herself. While popular theory held that there were an infinite number of universes, Celestia knew for a fact that there were only five universes in total. She had been to all of them, including the frightening universe containing humans. "I'm pretty sure I can help you find the right one," Princess Celestia said. "I've had some experience with this in the past." Twilight was slightly confused by this statement. Did the Princess know more than she was saying? "The only question is, 'who will go?'," Celestia asked. "Does anypony volunteer to go to another dimension, in search of Rainbow Dash?" "I'll do it," Twilight Sparkle said automatically. "This whole situation is somewhat my fault." "You need to remain here, I'm afraid," Celestia said. "That way, you can serve as a magical anchor and bring back whoever goes." "Sorry, but Ah'm too busy with th' farm to go dimension-hopping," Applejack said. "Me me me me me me me me me!" Pinkie Pie shouted, jumping up and down. "Rarity? Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. "Oh, no, I couldn't," Fluttershy said. "I'm allergic to other dimensions." "Let me get this straight," Rarity said. "You want to send me to another dimension, one which is filled to the brim with attractive, single stallions?" "Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" Pinkie Pie said. "I volunteer!" Rarity said. "I haven't met a nice stallion in forever! Er, that is, I'll do it for Rainbow Dash!" "Rainbow Dash is my friend, too!" Pinkie Pie said. "Perhaps we should send both of them," Princess Celestia suggested. "Two ponies could find Rainbow Dash twice as quickly." "Er, somehow, I don't think that's a good idea..." Twilight said.