Rainbow Blitz had to admit that his life was now 20% cooler. In his hometown, there were only about five mares. That didn't leave a lot of room for romance; your options were either "don't date at all" or "make friends with the girl who's strangely obsessed with jelly".
Now, Rainbow had a lot more options. He flew through town, about one foot off of the ground. Looking left and right, he saw mare after mare after mare, and his grin kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
Man, it's too bad my friends aren't here! Rainbow thought. Elusive would go crazy, seeing this many girls! He's the big romance expert, and—
Rainbow Blitz suddenly stopped flying and landed on the ground. ...My friends... he thought.
Yes, the new Ponyville was a babe buffet. But if Rainbow Blitz's friends weren't around, he'd have a hard time enjoying it. He was fiercely loyal to his friends, and nothing would stop him from making sure that they—
"Hello, Handsome," a voice said. "I haven't seen you here before..."
Rainbow Blitz looked up. A light blue pegasus mare was smiling at him.
"I...I'm new in town, I guess," Rainbow Blitz said, a little nervously. Then he shook his head, and regained his cool. "What's your name, gorgeous?"
The mare batted her eyes coyly, and the long eyelashes almost made Rainbow Blitz's heart jump. "Why don't you come have a drink with me, and I'll tell you?" she suggested.
Rainbow Blitz nodded, as he followed the mystery mare with a heart-shaped cutie mark. His friends could wait.
The next day, the fair Rarity made an unplanned trip to the spa. Her morning had been incredibly busy—no less than five ponies came in unexpectedly, asking for attractive clothing—and the white unicorn needed an afternoon of relaxation.
At first glance, the spa was as busy as the Carousel Boutique. More ponies were there than usual, prompting Rarity to wonder if there was some sort of special event going on. As she approached the front desk, she was surprised to see three of the usually busy spa ponies were not doing a lick of work. They were huddled together and talking. If a nature expert like Fluttershy had been there, she would have confirmed that they were producing more buzz than a hive of bees.
"I heard that he said—"
"That's nothing, I saw him with—"
"Of course, I can't meet him because I'm working today—"
"Hmmm?" Rarity asked, delicately heading over. "What's this, ladies? Is there a new pony in town?"
The three spa ponies turned to see Rarity, and they smiled. She was on a first-name basis with all three of them: Aloe, Lotus and Rosemary.
"Is there ever," Rosemary said. "A handsome pegasus stallion from Cloudsdale! Everypony's talking about him."
"His name is Rainbow Blitz!" Aloe added. "And boy, does that name fit! He's been blitzing through all the girls in town!"
"What? Really?" Rarity asked.
"Uh huh!" Rosemary nodded. "I heard he went on a date with Clarisse, then he turned right around and went out with Isimare!"
"I heard that he went out with Lyra and Bonbon at the same time!" Lotus said. She started giggling at the thought. "The spa has been packed all day!"
"A new stallion in town, huh," Rarity said. She ran a hoof along her curled mane. That would explain why all the mares in town suddenly developed an interest in making themselves beautiful. Rarity didn't like playcolts—she had a bad experience with one while she was at school—but curiosity forced her to find out more.
"What does he look like?" Rarity asked. "I take it he must be somewhat handsome."
"He's an explosion of color!" Aloe said. "His mane has all the colors of the rainbow in it!"
"He's sky-blue, and he must be some sort of athlete, because his body is in terrific shape!" Rosemary said. "He likes to brag that he's the fastest flier in all of Equestria, and—"
"You know a lot about him," Lotus said suspiciously. "How long did you talk with him?"
Rosemary giggled. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell," she said.
Aloe and Lotus nearly exploded with squeals, as they tried to get Rosemary to tell them more. Meanwhile, Rarity had stopped talking, because she was rather shocked. The description of this new stallion was...familiar, to say the least. A sky-blue pegasus with a rainbow mane—whose first name is "Rainbow"—who dreams of being the fastest flier in Equestria? That sounded just like...
"Dash..." Rarity muttered to herself.
"Excuse me?" Aloe asked. "I didn't hear you."
"Um, oh, never mind," Rarity said. "I just want to ask one question about this...Rainbow Blitz."
Rosemary nodded encouragingly.
"Is this..." Rarity gulped, knowing that what she was about to say could sound incredibly stupid, coming from her. "Would you say he is...awesome and cool?"
"Definitely!" Rosemary said. "He's 50% awesome, 50% cool, and 100% perfect!"
"I see..." Rarity said. "Well, in that case, I'm sorry to bother you ladies, but I simply must be going! Ta ta!"
Rarity turned tail and ran out of the spa as fast as she could.
"But wait! Don't you want—" Aloe called after Rarity. "She's gone."
"I've never known her to leave the spa without getting a treatment," Lotus said.
"She's probably trying to chase after Rainbow Blitz," Rosemary said. "Too bad he's going to be my coltfriend!"
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity shouted. "Rainbow Dash! Where are you?"
This is horrible! My dear friend Rainbow Dash's reputation will be ruined! Rarity thought to herself. Somepony is impersonating her for some reason!
Rarity had no idea what was going on, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. It couldn't be a coincidence that Ponyville's newest bachelor sounded like a Rainbow Dash clone.
"Rainbow! RAIIIINBOOOW!" Rarity continued to cry, as she trotted through the town. She couldn't see any sign of her friend anywhere.
Rarity's travels took her past an outdoor eatery, where the ever-charming Rainbow Blitz was on a date with his newest romantic conquest: a gray pegasus named Ditzy Doo.
"Huh?" Rainbow Blitz asked, as Rarity went by, shouting loudly.
"Someone's calling for you!" Ditzy Doo said.
"That's...weird..." Rainbow Blitz said, looking at Rarity. He didn't recognize her, but she looked similar to his friend Elusive.
"Who's she?" Ditzy Doo asked, sounding suspicious.
"I...I have no idea!" Rainbow Blitz said.
"You're seeing another mare behind my back!" Ditzy Doo said, hotly. She threw her drink into Rainbow Blitz's face. "Jerk!"
"What—blrrrbbbb!" Rainbow Blitz said. By the time he managed to clean off his face, Ditzy had flown away.
Rainbow Blitz considered chasing after her, but he couldn't see what direction she had flown off in. So instead, he decided to do the next best thing: confront the stranger who had just ruined a date with the perfect mare.
Rainbow Blitz quickly swooped around the block, so he could fly at Rarity head on. "Hey, you!" Rainbow Blitz said, stopping a foot in front of her. He wasted no time in getting right up in her face. "You just ruined my date! Who do you think you are?"
Rarity took a few steps backward, to increase the distance between herself and the angry stallion. "Rainbow Blitz, I presume," she said.
"That's me," Rainbow said. "Who're you?"
"My name is Rarity," Rarity said, puffing up her mane with her hoof. "I am Ponyville's leading expert on—"
"Ruining dates," Blitz said harshly. He poked Rarity with his hoof. "You know what happened just now? You come running down the street, screaming my name, and now my fillyfriend thinks I'm cheating on her, thanks to you. Why'd you have to do that, huh?"
"I...I wasn't calling for you," Rarity said. "I was calling for my friend, Rainbow Dash."
"Ah," Rainbow Blitz said. About half the ponies Rainbow Blitz met had mentioned Dash to him, and he was getting tired of hearing about her, to be honest. Rainbow Blitz knew for a fact that he was the only pony in existence who could perform a Sonic Rainboom, no matter what this Dash mare claimed.
"Let me guess," Rainbow Blitz said. "You think we could be twins."
"Well..." Rarity said. "You do look oddly similar..."
"I don't want to talk about some mare I've never met," Rainbow Blitz said. "Let's talk about you, Marity."
"Rarity," Rarity said.
"Whatever," Rainbow Blitz said. "You seem like a nice enough girl. Let's go out."
"Go...out?" Rarity asked slowly.
"Yeah," Rainbow Blitz said casually. "You ruined my date with Ditzy Doo. It only seems fair that you give me a date, to make up for it."
"What?!" Rarity asked. "Date you?"
Rainbow Blitz winked at Rarity. "Don't pretend you're not interested," he said. "Come on, gorgeous. I'll take good care of you."
"You...you...never!" Rarity said. "You're a shamelessly flirty cad!"
"And you're clearly a high-maintenance mare," Rainbow Blitz said. "But you've got a cute mane. Come on, loosen up, babe. It'll be fun."
His words seemed to work magic on Rarity, who giggled slightly. "You like my mane?" she asked coyly. "Your mane is rather handsome, too."
Rainbow Blitz ran a hoof through his hair. "The colors are nice," he said. "But I like yours, too. I don't have dark purple in my mane."
"Wait until you see my tail," Rarity said suggestively, turning around. Rainbow Blitz got a brief glimpse of Rarity's flank, before Rarity did her best Applejack impression. Her hind legs shot up at top speed, hitting Blitz's face. With tears in his two black eyes, Rainbow Blitz flew away as fast as he could.
"Ha," Rarity said. "Who says a lady can't protect herself?"
Rainbow Blitz sulked for a few hours after that. His day had been going just fine, until Rarity attacked him.
Stupid mare, Rainbow Blitz thought. Why'd she have to buck me like an apple tree? Now I'm going to look ridiculous at the Wondercolts tryouts tomorrow!
...Wait. Tomorrow?
"Oh, no!" Rainbow Blitz shouted. "Tryouts are tomorrow, and I haven't even started practicing!"
If there had been a sturdy wall nearby, Rainbow Blitz would have smashed his head against it. Stupid! Stupid! I can't believe I let myself get distracted by some stupid mares!
Man, maybe it's a good thing that one mare knocked me for a loop. At least she cleared my head.
Swearing off mares forever, or at least until the tryouts were over, Rainbow Blitz began stretching his various body parts. Deciding to start with a sprint, he took to the skies and—
Ow.
His eyes immediately stung. Flying at high speeds can be painful on a pony's eyes, which is why the Wonderbolts usually wear goggles. Rainbow Blitz just learned the hard way that when you have a black eye, this pain is intensified.
How do you get rid of black eyes? Rainbow Blitz wondered. Do you use ice, or water, or special cream, or what?
"Elusive," Rainbow Blitz said. His friend Elusive would know what to do. Elusive knew all about lotion and facial hygiene products and all the other things which Blitz considered to be a waste of time.
Rainbow Blitz went to the Carousel Boutique, as quickly as his aching eyes would let him. He knocked on the front door and shouted, "Elusive, are you there?"
"Just a minute!" a fancy sounding voice answered.
That doesn't sound like Elusive, Rainbow Blitz thought. Too high pitched.
The door opened, and a familiar white unicorn stood there, smiling at what she thought was a new customer. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is—oh," Rarity said, stopping in mid-greeting. "It's you."
"You!" Rainbow Blitz said. "Where's Elusive?"
"Who?" Rarity asked.
"The owner of this store!" Rainbow Blitz said.
"I am the owner of this fine establishment," Rarity said. "And I can assure you that we do not service ruffians like yourself!"
Rainbow Blitz scowled. Whoever this crazy mare was, she had just ruined his day. Twice. This was starting to really bug him.
"Listen, you stuck up, snooty marshmallow, I don't have time to—" Rainbow Blitz said in an angry voice.
Rarity slammed the door in his face.
Blitz said a few unkind words and flew away. Two seconds later, his eyes began to hurt again. He sighed, then landed back in front of the Carousel Boutique. As much as he didn't want to, he didn't have a choice in the matter. It was either deal with Rarity, or miss tryouts for the Wondercolts.
Guess I'll just have to suck it up, Rainbow Blitz thought. He knocked on the door, and Rarity opened it again.
"In case you couldn't tell, I'm not going to talk to you," Rarity said. "I simply loathe stallions such as yourself."
Rainbow Blitz sighed. "I'm sorry," he said.
Rarity's next insult died in her throat. "Excuse me?" she asked.
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you," Rainbow Blitz said. "You're right. I've been acting like a little colt ever since I arrived in this town."
"Oh," Rarity said. "Well...I say, this is a pleasant surprise."
"Sometimes, I...I guess I get a little full of myself, and my behavior goes overboard," Rainbow Blitz said. He could still remember the time his friends dressed up like the superhero Captain Colt, in order to drive this lesson home to him. "I shouldn't have been so mean and pushy with you. I'm sorry."
"Apology accepted, Mr. Blitz," Rarity said. "I'm glad to see you have some manners."
"Yeah, well, I learned from the best," Rainbow Blitz said, thinking of his stallion friend who owned the Carousel Boutique. Where was Elusive, anyway?
"So what brings you to the Carousel Boutique?" Rarity asked.
"Well..." Rainbow Blitz said. "I'm not sure how to say this, but...somepony bucked me in the face today, and now my eyes are all messed up."
Rarity looked a tad embarrassed. "Yes, well..."
"I can't fly with my eyes injured like this, and I have tryouts for the Wondercolts tomorrow," Rainbow Blitz said. "So can you please help me?"
"Of...of course!" Rarity said. "Come in, come in!"
Rarity led Rainbow Blitz inside the Carousel Boutique.
"I apologize for my earlier rudeness, as well," Rarity said. "I don't normally fight with strangers, I can assure you. It's just that—well, never mind what it was. I have the perfect cream that will help you."
Rainbow Blitz looked around the store. It looked pretty much the same as the Carousel Boutique he was familiar with, although there were a lot more dresses than he remembered.
"I keep the creams and lotions things in the back," Rarity said. "Stay here while I go get them."
"Uh...sure," Rainbow Blitz said. Was there always this much pink in the store?
Rarity trotted through the back door, which led to the kitchen and other areas. As she went to the storeroom with lotions, conditioners and other such products, her eye chanced upon some photographs of her and her friends. She lingered for a moment, looking at a picture of Rainbow Dash.
"Hmmm..." she said. "This stallion looks so much like Dash. Could it be...?"