//------------------------------// // Side Story C // Story: Humans Assemble! // by Mistershield //------------------------------// This is a side story! This one has no place in the story, it was just random excerpts from past chapters as I tried to see how partners would mesh. Glad I kept the originals. Side Story C: Some Partners Just... “I’m sure the spell was a success!” Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, lifting her head up after the spell was finished. Princess Luna and Discord both snapped out of their spells as well, turning to look at the purple unicorn. “Are you sure this is how your father wish for the spell to transpire?” Princess Luna turned to look at Discord. “I’m still against him helping us. To think all this time he had a double!” Twilight Sparkle frowned at the chimera dragon. “Listen, just be glad I agreed to help. I can only imagine how bad you could have screwed this spell. Even then, I feel the spells didn’t work quite well yet. This was the first time I ever had a three way spell...” Discord said to frown. “We got about a few minutes before the champions start showing up.” “Let us hope that the pony anchors come to...” Princess Luna stopped talking, turning her head to look as a portal started to form in the Golden Oaks Library. The portal itself was not very large, the color of a celestial blue. It spun with a slow spiral, the frame in the form of a cloud lining. “This is it!” Discord shouted, lifting his frame from the floor to fly around. “I can’t wait to see who my champion will be!” ______________________________________ Rainbow Dash hovered in the air, her wings silently flapping in place. In front of her stood a strange looking human. He was dressed in green commando fatigues. Ralf Jones closed his eyes a bit, staring at the creature with magenta eyes. Both stayed quiet, wondering what the other was thinking. ______________________________________ “Big Macintosh! Ya ready for the...” Applejack stopped a moment, turning to look at the portal forming in front of her. Her eyebrows shot up, not sure what was going on. “What n’ tarnation?” “What the...” The red Apple stallion blinked twice, looking at the portal produced two bipedal creatures. Alex Mercer fell down on the ground, his arms moving to prop himself up and look around. He shook his head to the sides a second, trying to make sense. He quickly looked down at his chest, trying to spot the blood. Nothing. Behind him, Terra Branford floated in the air to slowly look around. She blinked once, her hands holding her red dress to prevent it from sliding up her thighs. “Where is this?” Terra asked, turning to look down at Alex and then at the earth ponies. “Stay away!” Alex shouted, turning his pistol to point at Terra. He dismissed the ponies, not thinking them dangerous. Even though they looked slightly off. The half esper immediately lowered her form to stand on the ground, lifting her arms in front of herself to duck her head. She could recognize the gun in the soldier’s hand. “Please, I mean you no harm. I am... I can’t remember,” The woman said in a low voice. The genetic scientist lowered his hands slowly, lifting his head to look at the woman. That blue colored thing he had moved through had vanished into nowhere. “I suggest you kindly step away...” Big Mac said to march in front of Terra. He had no idea why, but something inside him told him to take the woman’s side. She kinda reminded him of Fluttershy- Only... Almost ethereal. As if she had a angel like quality to her fair skin. Terra blinked once, lowering her hands to look down at her tiny defender. Was this a... Mog? Her eyebrows raised up. No... It could speak her language. “Big Mac, calm down now...” Applejack said to move to stand between the male human and Big Mac. “She’s flying without wings, Ah think we need to think this through.” Alex was hesitant. First because the red horse talked, and now the orange one. He liked the orange pony, she made a fine point about flying without wings. Was she the manifestation of his sister in this drug state? “Dr. Alex Mercer...” The scientist finally said to move himself to stand. He was wearing a gray hoodie with a shirt and blue jeans. “I will not harm you if you all doesn’t give me a reason to.” Least, he hoped. Why were there talking horses? Was he in a drug-induced state like after injecting himself with the compound? “Ah’m Big Macintosh. If you don’t start none, ther’re won’t be none,” The red stallion said. He turned to face Terra, his green eyes closed a bit to smile up at her. “You’re safe here.” “Thank you, Big. I... Think my name is Terra,” The green haired woman said with a light voice and a smile. Her right hand moved out slowly, trying to touch his mane. Her gentle fingertips slid down along his orange man. “Thank you for being a gentle beast.” Big Mac smiled at her touch, glad that this heavenly creature was so gentle. “Ah’, Applejack, welcome to the Apple Farm, strangers.” Applejack rolled her eyes at the way Big Macintosh said. Leave it to a male to fall for pretty eyes. She turned to look up at Alex, studying his face. His eyes had a kind of dark edge in them. That strange set of.... Pants? Is that what they were called? It was weird. “Ya know what that there portal was all about?” “Portal?” Alex asked His right arm started to flex his muscle involuntarily. Something was not right, but he had to focus on things. Why was this one wearing a stetson hat, and the other a yoke? Still, she was kinda cute. He had never seen dimples on a horse. He decided that she was the voice of reason. Such large cute green eyes too... “I’m not sure...” Terra said to take her hand back from Big Mac. “I don’t think I ever seen something like that.” “Ah think we gotta talk to Twilight...” Applejack said with a sigh. She turned her head a bit to look back at her brother when she felt fingers moving against her mane. Her eyes shut as the fingers spread and slid down her mane a few times. She quickly snapped out of the sensation to frown and look up at Alex. “What was that for?” “I’m sorry- Applejack right? I wanted to make sure this was not a dream. I’ve never seen such a cute pony in all my life,” Alex said to take his hand back. “Cute?!” Applejack almost screamed out. Her eyes opened wide as she felt a warm rush across her cheeks. “Quit teasing me!” “No, I agree with.. Dr. Mercer? You two are absolutely adorable...” Terra said to shut her eyes a little and smile. It was nice to know that there was no danger. “Aw shucks...” Big Mac grinned at the compliment. His head shook to the sides a bit to have his mane settle over his side. “Tweren't nothing.” “Let’s go,” Applejack lowered her head to hide the red cheeks with her hat. When was the last time she ever been called cute? “We are getting nowhere,” Alex said to walk a bit away from the others to look around. He could spot a clocktower at the distance. “Is that a town?” “Its Ponyville...” Applejack commented when she turned to look back at this doctor. Thanks to the human being taller than her, all she could see was his rear. His nice, tight, muscular rear you could bounce a bit off of. She shut her eyes and blushed again. “Ah better lead the way!” She ran off ahead of the others. ______________________________________ Rainbow Dash landed on the ground slowly, keeping her face trained on the human. He was a thick one alright- This guy made Snowflake look grotesque- Rainbow Dash took a second to wince. Thanks to reading Daring Do, she learned a word Rarity would use. Ralf slowly turned his body, using his left leg to balance himself. Rainbow Dash slowly walked around his form in a circle. Who, in their right state of mind would dye a poor horses’ mane the color of gay pride? _______________________________________ Derpy Hooves fluttered in the air a bit, turning to look down at the mailpost she had broken. She shut both of her eyes to rub the back of her head. She landed on the ground to open her eyes to look at a portal. Her golden eyes spun a bit as he mouth opened and watched a human walk through. “Well, that was out of the ordinary- But not by much...” The humanoid said. He was wearing a fez hat, a suit and a bowtie. He smiled a bit, lifting his hands up to rub his hands together. “Doctor?” Derpy blinked twice, her mouth falling slowly to open into a smile. “Doctor!” She launched herself to fly into the Doctor’s arms. “I told you I would be back, my assistant,” The Time Lord said with a smile. Her arms opened up to welcome her into his arms. “I thought I wouldn’t see you again... Even if you’re not in your handsome pony form,” Derpy said to shut her eyes and nuzzle into his chest. “Oh Derpy. I told you nothing could stop me. Now, Allons-y! Time to find the catalyst!” _________________________________ Rainbow Dash stopped walking around Ralf, done with her inspection of him. She was still not sure what to say- This guy had not said a single word either. Ralf moved both of his arms to cross on his chest. What was this thing? Was this a pegasus? Last time he ever saw one was in that Disney movie, Hercules. He said nothing, wondering if this pegasus was going to headbut him like the one in the movie. If it was, this rainbow mane horsey was in for a rude surprise. ____________________________________ “I’m sorry...” Fluttershy said to lower her head a bit. “Stop apologizing! It’s annoying!” Dan shouted to look over at the yellow pegasus. “And speak up!” “You’re right, I’m sorry....” Fluttershy said to cower more into her mane. “You see, this is why “ponies” walk all over you like a doormat,” Dan almost shouted to walk the stupid butterfly grove he walked through. “I bet its your fault I’m here!” “But I didn’t do anything...” Fluttershy shut both of her eyes to lay down on the floor and move her hooves to cover her face. “What’s that?! I told you to- Argh! Stupid flowers! It attracts all of these annoying multi-colored bugs! As if Multi-colored ponies wasn’t enough!” Dan started to stomp the flowers. Both of his arms moved out to start swatting the butterflies away. “Oh, umm- Could you please stop? Its not their fault.” The Element of Kindness picked up her head to look over at the actions of the small human. “Wait your turn!” Dan shouted, moving to take off his right shoe. He then exposed the inside of his show out to the air, letting the green toxic vapors of his socks and foot apparel escape into the air. The flowers started to wilt and the insects to fall to the ground. “Aha! Take that!” “Oh... I said- Can you please stop?” Fluttershy moved to stand up and frown. Her poor flowers and butterflies! “Huh? Did you say something?” Dan said to turn to look back at her. “I can’t hear you. Speak up!” “I said, Stop!” FLuttershy took a few steps forward to confront Dan. Human or not, this was her special grove, her sanctuary for the butterflies! “Why should I? I was brought here against my will, you know!?” Dan dropped his show back to the floor to put it on. “You’re hurting them! And the flowers took so long to care for!” Fluttershy was starting to get angry now. “Hey, shut up!” Dan said to step up to her and lift his right index finger at her. “Don’t tell me what to do! You, sorry, pathetic excuse of a mystical animal!” “Now see here Dan! I know its not your fault you’re here, but its not mine either! And you have no reason to take it out on my butterfly sanctuary. So stop! If you don't mind that is!” Fluttershy now stepped up to the human. She was this close to unleashing the stare. “And what are you going to do if I don’t? Are you going to stop me? I’d like to see you try!” Dan shouted to but heads with her. “Oh!” Fluttershy shut both of her eyes for a moment as her head started to shake. This “man” smelled awful, his breath was worse than a danger, and his demeanor was just plain rude. “You’re an egotistical, rude, social maniacal, brute!” “Who are you calling a social miscreant?! Look at you, you’re the one that can’t handle the pressure of normal society! If I’m a sociopath, then you’re a social deviant!” “How dare you! You are the most vicious and horrible creature I’ve ever met!” Fluttershy opened both of her eyes wide to do the Stare. “And you’re the most disturbed and socially stunted quadrupede I’ve ever seen! No wonder you can't get a guy!” Dan narrowed his eyes, not about to be outdone. “Yeah?!” Fluttershy shouted, looking straight into his eyes and push into his forehead. “Yeah!” Dan shouted, leaning forward to push his head against her own. “What are you going to do? Cry? Go ahead and shed some tears!” “Oh, you you you!” Fluttershy brought her front hooves up. “I’ll show you! You’re going to LOVE ME!” “Wha?” Dan’s eyebrows shot up, confused now. He found her hooves moving to wrap around his shoulders to kiss him. Her mouth opened and closed, sucking on his lower lip and assault his tongue with hers. “You are.” She stopped talking to push him down to the ground. “The most vile.” She pinned him down to the ground and lean her weight on him. “And dirtiest.” she started to assault his mouth with kisses again. “And I want you!” “What is wrong with you?!” Dan shouted, trying to fight back as it was hard to breath and talk. Did he break her? “You’ve made me angry and assertive! And I love it! Now, to get what I want!” “Rape! Rape I say!” ______________________________________ Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and brought both of her wings to flap down quickly. She kicked off the ground, sending herself high into the air. She circled around Ralf a few times, around 15 feet over him and see what he did. Ralf narrowed his eyes, lifting his head to look at her. Oh, something was going down. He spread his feet apart and raised his right arm up. His left hand moved to grab the bottom of the right glove and pull it down to tighten it. Rainbow Dash raised both of her eyebrows when the human moved to bite down on the bottom of the left glove and pull his neck away. Even though she was far up and making noises with her wings, she could hear the tightening leather. _____________________________________ Princess Luna blinked twice, looking at the figure that was in front of her. The one winged angel, Sephiroth stood. This champion was dressed in black, with long hair cascading down his form- Much like her own hair. She moved closer to this being, waiting for him to speak first. Sephiroth took a moment to look around his new and foreign surroundings. He did not know how he was moved through the portal, but he was here now. This odd looking blue chocobo was staring at him. Why was it wearing a tiara? “Away from me beast- I have no gysahl greens...” “Thou call me, a princess- A beast? Thou shalt do well to remember thy manners!” Princess Luna said to stomp her left hoof forward. Sephiroth tilted his head to the side, not sure if she should be shocked or not. Red XIII could speak human. “Silence.” “Dost thou-” “Silence beast.” “How dare you!” Princess Luna shouted in her regal voice. Her eyes turning white with magical power as thunder and dark clouds appeared around her. “We shall-” Luna stopped a moment, feeling something wrong. Her frown shifted form into confusion as Sephiroth turned away from her and look into the sky. His right hand moved up to the sky. “What... How?!” “This is a strange moon...” Sephiroth said as he found the moon of this planet and started to tug it down. Narrowing his eyes, he bent his knees a bit to make a muscle with his hand. Even though he could not access the lifestream of the planet- this was still child’s play. “How are you controlling the moon!” Princess Luna shouted to start to channel her magic through her horn. She struggled a bit, never having to fight someone over control of the moon’s trajectory. “You dare to fight me?” Sephiroth said to move both hands out now to grab the moon and pull it from her control. “Release the moon!” “It’s like watching children tugging at a doll,” Discord said with his head low as his upper body bent down. Next to him, his own partner raised both eyebrows at the scene. “You know... I think I’ve seen this before,” The Freakazoid said. “Hey Freakazoid, want to see a bear riding a unicycle?” “Would I!” Freakazoid and Discord left the scene with a poof from the snapping claws of the chaotic spirit. “How can a being, other than an Alicorn, move a celestial body?!” Twilight Sparkle frowned. She turned to look over at her partner. “I must be dreaming! I finally found a unicorn that doesn’t want me to rub the horn,” Arthur Kensington said to smile. (Nerd from Robot Chicken.) “Wait, what?” Twilight Sparkle perked up her eyebrows. “You’ve touched a unicorn’s horn before?” She blushed when a realization hit her mind. She was way too interested in that question. “Oh yeah, lots of times! The white unicorn I know loves it so much! I’ve been told I’m great at it.” Arthur said to move his left hand up to adjust his glasses. Twilight looked around a bit. A white unicorn? Did he mean Rarity? “You mind showing me?” She asked in a low voice. “Sure!” __________________________________ Rainbow Dash took up into the air and flew into the sky as much as she was able to. In a short moment, she arrived above the clouds. She snorted, pawing the air a bit. Oh, this guy was asking for it! She then moved her wings to the side and took a dive. She gained speed, moving at a side angle. With each second the pegasus moved faster, a field of air pressure built around her front hooves. She was about to touch the ground when she finally achieved sonic rainboom. Ralf reached for his belt quickly, taking out a thick canister from each hip. He had little time to work. Each thumb flicked the containers open to reveal a gray coarse powder. He poured them into each glove, getting his arms ready to attack. Once he was out of gunpowder, he tossed them to the side and ducked down. Arms at his sides, he made a fist with his right hand and concentrated. “Sonic Rainboom!” “Galactica Punch!” Ralf spun upward from the ground and bring his fist out. The gunpowder in the gloves begun to burn, sending red fumes into the air. Rainbow Dash flew at supersonic speeds, leaving a rainbow trail in the air. Her front hooves were stretched out to connect against Ralf’s fists in a second. The cyan pegasus was forcefully stopped in her tracks, the impact of a wall suddenly pushing against her frame. The sonic boom caught up with them, sending a giant wave to flow into Ralf’s arm. It spun slowly along her arm and finally was released from his shoulder. His vest and shirt was torn off and torn into shreds to ride along the arm. The pegasus and the human gritted teeth as their fists and hooves made contact. Unable to handle it anymore, they were both pushed back from each other and sent into the ground. Ralf felt like his arm had turned into mush. Rainbow Dash landed on her back, all of her hooves sprawled out to her sides. “That.... Huff... Was... Huff... Awesome....” Rainbow Dash breathed in and out through her mouth to make her chest bounce. “I can’t feel my arm...” Ralf said to grin. “Suck it, Finn and Jake!” ________________________________ “....” “I’m sorry Rarity. I couldn’t find you a partner...” Twilight Sparkle said to lower her head and frown. All of the other humans and ponies arrived at the Library. Save Rarity, who no one had thought to contact. “This doesn’t make sense! Why do you all get a partner?!” Rarity frowned, though she may had dodged a bullet there by looking at Arthur and Freakazoid. She turned to look at Dan though, who looked who had been through a tornado victim. “Has anyone seen that Noid? He owes me a pizza,” Mayor Adam West said to look around. Cat launcher at ready, he loaded Paul the Cat. “Oh hello there, white unicorn.” “Don’t tell me this brute...” Rarity narrowed her eyes. This man had a weapon made from cats?! “Tell me, are you the one stealing all my water?” Adam West turned to look at Spike. “Stealing your what?” “I’m on to you.” Mayor West aimed the cat launcher at Spike. “Speaking of ridiculous, I refuse to believe you all exist!” Stephen Colbert cried out. “I thought for a second I’d gone crazy when I woke up next to Pinkie Pie.” Speaking of which, Pinkie Pie was riding on the fake news anchor’s head like a hat. “He’s so squishy!” Pinkie Pie said to smile and moves her hooves down to push his cheeks. “You are just a figment of my imagination implanted in my mind by the liberal media.” ____________________________________ “What have I done...” Princess Celestia said to look down at her crystal ball. Her eyes frowned a bit. This was worst case scenario. The moon was being pulled around like toy, a human armed with cats, kindness corrupted the anger, loyalty and courage had broken limbs, magic turned perverse, and who else what could go wrong. “None of them make good partners at all! I need your help!” “I have an idea... We are going to need a dragonball locator,” Mr. Popo said. He looked up from his plant watering and smile. Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura. Bonus: “Me and Dan!?” Fluttershy shouted, shocked more than anyone. She proceeded to pass out. “You’re upset?! I was the one that got raped!” Dan exclaimed. “Keep your hooves off my Danny!” Pinkie Pie shouted at the passed out pegasus to hug Dan to herself. “Me and Ralf? How does that make sense? I mean yeah, he’s okay and all...” Rainbow Dash turned to look at the soldier. “Yeah, you’re a bro and all, but not a partner...” “I don’t even...” Otacon turned to look at the blushing Twilight. “You would let anyone rub your horn, huh?” “It was... In the name of science? Wait, Otacon come back!” Sephiroth turned to look at Luna and frown. She turned to look at the Cetra and frown as well. “I would win.” They both said together. Lyra and Travis both slapped their foreheads.