//------------------------------//
// Mast-a-What? 
// Story: A Series of Unfortunate What-if's 
// by Goodbye 
//------------------------------//

	I looked down at the thick text book in front of our three hooves. If we wanted to get medical pony cutie marks, we would need to do research. Unfortunately that textbook we "borrowed" from Golden Oaks Library all seemed to be in that fancy talk. I grimaced remembering my unfortunate case with cutie pox just a few months earlier. As much as that would've come in handy now I wanted no more reminders of that day. 

I peered down at my hooves. Maybe if we just picked one word and found out the meaning this whole thing could get easier.  I peered at the orange Pegasus snoozing next to me, a strand of drool puddling up next to the red binding of the book. I looked to my other side. Sweetie Belle had, from somewhere. pulled out a blue crayon and had started doodling over the funny looking diagrams of some dangling part of pony ana-to-my. I had no idea what that thingy was. I sighed. At this rate we'd never get awesome disease solving cutie marks. 

I closed my eyes and lifted up my hoof, I was going to randomly select a word and we were going to learn what it meant for ponies sake! Even if it killed us...ok maybe not if it killed us. That might be a tad extreme. I heard a crow let out a haunting caw from above our tree house. I steeled my will and let my hoof circle above the book, hoping I wouldn't accidentally hit one of my oblivious friends. I stomped down my hoof. 

The thump broke the strand of drool as my orange friends head popped up and  felt the pale blue crayon snap under my hoof with a crunch.  I peered down at my hoof. Conveniently there happened to be a word that was almost perfectly underlined with my yellow and now blue hoof. I grinned and bushed away a smudge of blue from the word. It was a word I at least had never heard of before and looking at Scootaloo's confused face and Sweetie Belle leaning back to search for another crayon I felt confident that they hadn't heard of it either. 

"Ok! here's the plan! we are going to ask somepony and find out what this word" I jabbed my hoof down again upon the word when I said this,"means, got it?"

Scootaloo saluted me, a serious look on her muzzle and her wings buzzing a mile a minute. She was paying attention. I turned my attention to my white little unicorn friend.

"SWEETIE BELLE!" 

"Wha?" 

Those pale green orbs peered up at me innocently. I wasn't fooled though. Somehow without letting me feel it she had started drawing all over my flank. I grumbled under my breathe.

"Ok, revised plan. We clean up and then we ask somepony what they know about that word."
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Having washed up in the old metal trough outside my family's barn we all set off in  the wagon pulled by Sccotaloo on her new blue scooter. We all agreed against asking any pony in mah family, we knew that would end with the text book thrown out of a window and another family feud between mah two siblings. Supposedly we don't need no fancy educations to run the farm. 

I jumped as Scootaloo dashed us over a rock in the road. We were almost there. We had figured since Fluttershy was closest and since she was always patching up all those woodland animals she must know what the word meant.  

Scootaloo got us there in expert time, skidding to a stop just short of crashing into the hen house. I cough as dust rose up from her tires and Sweetie Belle and I tumbled out of there and together the three of us, once we rubbed the dust from our eyes, races up the the wooden door of Fluttershy's home. We almost ran over a mouse or two on the way but all is fair in love and war as Miss Cheerilee said. Scootaloo and I reached the door nearly the same time and together both my yellow and her orange hooves banged against the door. As we heard Miss Fluttershy's soft footsteps near the door we started bouncing in anticipation. Sweetie Belle had already joined us at this point. In an agonizingly slow way the front door creaked open. Through that slight crack we could see that tell tale long pink mane and its matching yellow face. We all burst in to grins. None of us were good with patience and for once we wanted to learn. 

We leaned forward and as a group we all asked Fluttershy about that mysterious word. 

We watched as a twitching started in her left eye and her face turn red like one of the red gala apples from the orchards. I grew worried as she started swaying back and forth. Had we said something wrong? I took an anxious step backwards. 

THUMP.

Fluttershy's prone form lay in front of us. I felt kind of worried. What just happened? Did her blood glucose levels drop too low again? 

"I didn't do it, not this time!" Scootaloo raced back to her vehicle and behind her skipped an oblivious Sweetie Belle. I didn't know what was going on in that filly's head some days. 

I sighed and gave a backward glance at the body of that soft spoken Pegasus. She had lived a good life. I felt bad for leaving her body behind so prone to the elements but I could already see that devil of a rabbit heading for the doorway, carrot in hand. I bolted.

"Run for your lives!" I hollered as I ran at a mad gallop to the already ready scooter and cart.

I crashed noggin first into the wagon and Sweetie Belle's soft hooves helped me up as Scootaloo started off. Just in time too. That rascal had started rallying the other animals and a swarm was dispatched after us. 

"Quick, to Sugar Cube Corner!" I quickly hollered to our lead mare Scootaloo.

I knew that with the feud between Gummy and Angel we would be safe there. And maybe we could ask Pinkie Pie about that word. She knew all kind of things Fluttershy didn't after all. 

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Once we reached Ponyville main we were able to slow down a bit. Even though she was unable to fly that Scootaloo could easily outrun and outmaneuver any old animal. Even Mootilda or Elizabeak. 

As we precariously zoomed  through the busy market place we tried asking ponies as we passed about that word. I was starting to wonder if it was some sort of terrible, gut rotting, eye oozing disease. Everyone that heard our question passed out in a way similar to Fluttershy. Except  of course that wild "Woohoo" I heard Berry Punch, but I think she was drunk off of the adult pony cider again. 

Scootaloo, with all that wind in her face, didn't notice a thing which I kind of couldn't blame. Sweetie Belle... I face hoofed. I don't know where she got it from but in her adorable little manner was sipping a grape juice box, a purple stain etching a smile upon her lips. However she appeared to notice at least what was going on this time as she glanced between my face and our surroundings. Finally she just settled her eyes on me.

"Why so serious?"

Everything seemed to get deadly silent and Sweetie Belle just kept her green eyes looked onto my orange eyes. I wanted to leap from the moving cart just to get away. I had no idea  what happened but it caused me to get cold, so very cold.

"We're here!"

I snapped to attention, glad for an excuse to get away.  I didn't even bother to unbuckle my  solid blue helmet. I don't know what cam over me. Shaking my head clear of that chilling feeling in my head I unbuckled that buckle and threw it straight back into the wagon. Painting a smile across my snout I grinned at Scootaloo. She was already waiting after all at the gingerbread door of the bakery. 

I glanced behind me where Sweetie Belle was licking the grape stain off around her muzzle with a slurp. 

"Come on slow pokes!"

I galloped up to the amber Pegasus and behind me I could hear joyful clops from the sound of Sweetie Belle's skipping. With out pausing we just burst through the door, the cheerful jingle overhead. We didn't even glance at our surroundings we just headed start for that glorious counter of sweets. Any sweet we could imagine and more was there, all lined up behind that thin layer of drool proof glass. Carmel apple, apple fritters, apple cupcakes, apple pie! It was like a daily Apple Family Reunion, without all the chaos.

We stood there, drooling over all those delectable treats for a painful amount of time before a perky voice overhead reminded me of our mission.

"Pinkie Pie! Can I have one of your apple cupcakes with the maple glaze?! Pwease?" 

I gave her my best puppy dog face since I didn't have any bits on me.

"I thought our mission was to learn what that one word thingy meant."

I turned to Sweetie Belle. How dare she block me from my precious. I glared at her, that innocent little face hiding what I knew to be evil desires. 

BOP

I jerked back to facing Pinkie Pie only to have something... Something maple scented... Block my view. 

"Thank you! Thank you! Yay!"

Pinkie laughed 

"Think of it as a early birthday present, one hundred twenty three days, eleven hours and thirty six seconds early! Now what did you fillies want to ask you Auntie Pinkie about?"

With my mouth full of mapley appley goodness I just let Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle ask this time. Maybe I could grab more cupcakes when she passed out. She didn't. I perked up as that pink chest took a big breathe.

"Wellllll.... I probably shouldn't be telling you that. But when a mare or a stallion gets bored by themselves they take a hoof annnn"

I watched with even more curiosity as a pair of blue hooves and a pair of orange hooves stretched out from to kitchen door way only to wrap themselves around Pinkie Pie's still talking mouth and drag that thrashing pink body into the abyss of the bakery's kitchen. I gawked at the sight and as I turned to my fellow crusaders ready to declare us mystery investigators, the bell over the door clanged with a frightening amount of volume.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders! My lecture sense was tingling!" 

I stared at the purple mare framed in the doorway. Why didn't we just go to Twilight Sparkle in the first place, she lives in a library! 

I spoke up first this time, feeling kind of embarrassed we didn't go to her sooner.

"We just want to know what this one word," Sweetie Belle cut me off shouting out the word, "meant."

"Masticate? Why, that's just another word for chewing, or rather the mechanical grinding process in digestion."