//------------------------------// // Snowflake, the Soft-Spoken Musclecolt // Story: I am He as You are She as You are Me and We are All Rule 63'd // by CaptainSanchez //------------------------------// I am He as You are She as You are Me and We are all Rule 63'd Snowlfake, the Soft-Spoken Musclecolt Welcome back! Did you have a nice halftime? Spell anything out? We were gonna talk about kids. Wait a minute. I'm reading a Carlin script from the seventies. Oops. Yes, of course i know about George Carlin, why are so sur-- oh. wrong universe. That's just incredibly strange. Aaanyhoof, Snowflake tended to be a rather quiet stallion, despite his tendency to get "caught up in the moment," as 'twere. Hey! Rarity doesn't have exclusive rights on that contraction, I can use it if I want, okay? Whelp, Snowflake thought it to be about his turn to enter the domain of the purple enchantress and her duplicate. Thge one place he normally dared not tread... a Library. It's not like he hated reading... but he was terribly afraid of books. It all started when he was just a little fil-- I mean, colt. Give me a break, remembering gender in this story is nigh on impossible! What? No I didn't mean "neigh on impossible," just how thick are you? Well, then. I'm sorry, but it would seem that Snowflake's full (and might I add, heart-wrenching) back story would be lost on you. Besides, the stupid author forgot to write it. Yes, of course I'm allowed to break the fourth wall! I do it ALL THE TIME!! Have I in any way given you the impression that I like you, reader? Oh. Then I apologize for misleading you. Whelp, that was a nice waste of a paragraph. Anyway, we've gone far enough off course already. BACK TO THE STORY!! Shut up, I'm allowed to have gusto! Snowflake entered the library. He didn't bother to knock because, well, have you seen him? the door would probably snap in twain! Upon entering the great tree known as the Books and Branches Library, Snowflake called out to the ludicrously laborious lavender lifelong librarians living with the joint (or respective, I guess) title of "Faithful Student." "Pardon me, but are you here? Miss Sparkle? Mister Shine? I must say, I do believe that it is my turn today." Duskus and Twillith had heard Snowflake long before he entered the Library, so they were already in mid-process. I feel that I should tell you that both Twilight and Dusk were necessary for the casting of the Spell. Neither was skilled enough to do it alone, you see. YES, I'M STALLING, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Ugh, look, I'm sorry that i snapped at you again, it's just... I ran out of my anti-psychotic medication yesterday, and my doctor, uh... spoilers. Did you seriously just ask why I'm supposed to be on anti-psychotics? You really are thick. Seriously, It's impossible to understand you creatures. Thus opened the now-beloved Vortex. Sweet Celestia, it's beautiful. All of Time and Space, anywhere and everywhere, hold on a tick! That's a Doctor Who promo. Well, consarn it all! Ugh, NEW PARAGRAPH! Now where was I? Oh, right. Vortex. Out of the Vortex (fork, it's beautiful) came a dainty white pegasus mare with a long blonde mane, tiny wings, and a dumbbell Cutie Mark. Her name? Blizzard. "Oh, pardon me, madame," said Snowflake, his voice dainty (ironic, huh?). "But am I to assume that you're my female self? If so, I'd like to introduce myself. Snowflake MacCrushinator at your service." "Oh? Well, then, Snowflake MacCrushinator, I'm Blizzard Gale. Pleased to make your acquaintance." At this, Snowflake nodded, rose from the bow you assumed he took, and gained a rather peculiar look upon his face. "Hey, you wanna do it, me?" "OH YEAH!! I mean, of course. Lead the way, old chap." Hearing this, Twi and Dusk gasped, and simultaneously shouted in protest, then forcibly shoved Blizzard back through that gorgeous Vortex and into her home dimension. NEXT TIME: "Hello, dear stallion friend. It's nice to meet another Zebrican."