//------------------------------// // Dance With The Devil // Story: A Study In Nonsense // by Professor Piggy //------------------------------// Two figures stood on the rooftop, draped in shadow and radiating pure awesome. Or at least one of them was raditating pure awesome. The other one was only outputting about eighty percent awesomeness and twenty percent pain in the flanks, but the point was that they looked freaking sweet – not that she was even a little bit surprised. She always looked righteous, and that meant the whole righteous justice thing was like, fifty percent guaranteed for her before she even tried the superhero part. Not that she was worried about that – excited, maybe, but not worried. On the whole, Vinyl Scratch felt good about tonight. Her companion didn’t share her enthusiasm – as she flexed her muscles and struck the most heroic pose she could think of that soft, caramel smooth baritone rumbled out from behind her, condescension dripping from every word. “This is stupid. You know this is stupid, because you’re not stupid. Reckless? Yeah. Unpredictable? Yes. Thoughtless? Definitely. But stupid…?” The voice trailed off for a second, and she turned to glare at the other pony – not that it made a difference, since she couldn’t see anything behind that impassive, badass purple mask. Mare Do Well shrugged. “Okay. Maybe you’re stupid. But not this stupid.” Vinyl narrowed her eyes further, just to make sure that her killjoy of a partner got the message, then let out a long, patient sigh. “Look, newbie – I know you think you’ve got a real good handle on this stuff, and I’m sure back in whatever little town you came from you were top dog -” “Newbie?” The masked mare hissed in disbelief, “You listen to me, you little idiot -” Vinyl ignored her and kept talking. Annoying Mare Do Well was fun, and besides - superheroes didn’t take orders from their sidekicks, and she wasn’t about to start now. She might set a precident, and she was kind of hoping that Mare Do Well would start talking less, not more. Although she had to admit, that voice… it sent a shiver down her spine. “- but you’re in my town now, and we deal with stuff here you can’t even imagine back in Ponytown or wherever you came up from.” Mare Do Well’s eye twitched. She couldn’t see it, ‘cause of the mask, but she could tell – she’d always been good at reading ponies, and she was even better at annoying them. Plus, the pained, furious tone in the would be super hero’s voice made it kinda obvious. “Ponyville. It’s Ponyville. You know it is. You’re from there too! And what are you babbling about ‘back in Ponytown!?’ This is Ponyville! We never left! I can’t tell if you’re stupid or you’re just trying to make me angry!” Vinyl grinned and shot her partner a wink as she held up a hoof. “Ah, but we’ve already established that I’m stupid, remember? And you know what they say about not mistaking stupidity for malice or whatever all that jazz is.” “I know neither should be encouraged,” Mare Do Well snapped as she glanced away, “And both should be answered with bludgeoning. Lots and lots of bludgeoning.” Vinyl snorted, and shook her head. “You’re grumpy today - even more than usual, I mean. What’s up? Talk to Auntie Vinyl.” “Auntie Vinyl? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever -” the masked mare stopped and turned her gaze towards the emblem shining on Vinyl’s chest, a spinning record emblazened with the letters DS, before finishing. “That’s the second stupidest name I’ve ever heard.” The unicorn rolled her eyes lazily, trying to stop her grin growing wider. “You don’t like the name. So you keep saying. I get it! Sorry I don’t have your gift for words, Lame Do Well.” As soon as she said the words, she knew they had been a mistake. Her smile faltered, and for a long moment the two of them just stared at one another in silence – and then it happened. Mare Do Well burst out laughing, doubling over as the sound escaped her in loud, desperate bursts. “Lame Do Well?” She managed when she was at last out of breath, “You’ve had two months to come up with something and that’s really the best you’ve got? That’s….that’s really sad, Vinyl.” “Shut up!” Vinyl snapped back with a mock scowl, “You didn’t even come up with your name! Twilight did - Pinkie told me so! You’re just borrowing it!” “Maybe,” came the easy, smug agreement, “But I make it look better than she ever did.” There really was no arguing that - Mare Do Well did look damn good in the suit – so she didn’t bother. Instead she just cleared her throat and started from…well, scratch. “Okay, enough joking around – this is serious. Doctor Octavepuss has taken over the Ponyville Town Hall, and if she’s not stopped she might infect all the ponies in town with bad taste, so – what?” The last word was directed at the hoof Mare Do Well had casually raised in the air. “Doctor Octavepuss. Really? That’s…that’s really the best you could come up with?” “That’s not the point! The point is that she’s doing bad stuff and we gotta kick her butt!” “Yeah yeah,” Mare Do Well waved a hoof casually, “I know the story – Octavia booked the show you wanted and now you want to prank her. But not onstage, because you don’t want to ruin it for her, right? You’ve got way too much of a crush on her for that.” “I – no! That’s not…I don’t…” She trailed off and then asked, more meekly, “How’d you know?” “Pinkie told me. And if she hadn’t, Rainbow would’ve. Or anypony I asked really. This is my town, kiddo, you’re just playing in it.” Vinyl didn’t say a word, and after a moment Mare Do Well patted her gently on the head, “Don’t worry about it – it’s fun having you around. Just remember, after this you’re gonna help me with some pranks of my own. This town’ll never be the same.” And then she was gone, over the edge and into the night – and after a moment, after lowering her goggles onto her face and replacing her grin, Doc Scratch followed her. Tonight was going to be a good night. She could feel it.