Would you take a bite?

by Jay Cruiz


Chapter Two: Yeah...no.

After a few moments of musing I looked at the unicorn who was with me. "What's your name? Pfft, why am I even asking it’s not like you can understand." She smiled a bit, her cheeks still tinged with red and the feeling of embarrassment still lingered in the link or whatever the hell it was. "Ya know you’re really a cuddly looking thing." I laugh and gently mess her mane. She really is too; her hair-mane?- is a chocolate brown and her fur is a nice tan color, almost brindle, looking at her I find myself smiling like an idiot. She laughs too, a sound like wind chimes.
"Ana lo hass ete?"
I frown and shrug, shaking my head no. I guess it’s time for charades again.... I pretend to talk, point to her then myself and shake my head no. She looks puzzled for a moment and then points a hoof to me, shakes her head, pantomimes talking and then points to herself. I nod slowly and she smiles, her horn lights up and a second later and she winks out of existence with a bright flash of blue.
Startled I jump back and look around for her. Stretching a hand out to the spot where she was I feel nothing but air. Mystified I begin feeling all around the little room trying to find her. "This isn't possible. People-pony things- can’t just up and disappear of the face of the goddamn world! Shit's just not possible." Granted this world may not have the same laws of physics that earth did, hell it may not even have the same atmosphere. If that's the case then I would be dead, again. I was trying to stay calm and rational, but that was't happening.
A moment later there was a pop and she reappeared in front of me. I reach out cautiously with a shaking hand and touch her mane, making her laugh again. Her smile was pretty big but slowly shrunk when she saw the look of intense confusion and fear on my face.
"Sol, nal zin las?"
Internally I tried to come to grips with what I saw. No. Nope. Not real. Just plain and simple this is all just blunt force trauma from the gun misfiring. I could feel myself shaking, not in fear but in disbelief. I had seen the unicorn do some levitation already and kind of ignored it but this, this proved that they could do something supernatural or some shit like that. I was terrified. She stepped towards me but I scrambled back, looking for something to throw. My hand grasped something and I threw it, yelling "Stay Back!" The watermelon rind hit her in the face with a muted "Fwump". Startled she backed up and shook her head, snorting.
"Was leh nan cha?!?"Her voice was indignant, and a bit hurt.
"I-I don't know what kind of game you are playing but this shit is NOT funny!" I started searching for something else to use as a weapon, digging through my pockets and under the- wait what? "Where the hell did these clothes come from!?" I can't understand this, I was wearing a suit when I died and now I'm in some black jeans and a long sleeve black V-neck shirt. The hell? "Nonono. No. Bad reality! Bad! Stop fucking with me, NOW!"
The unicorn slowly inched towards me, her blue eyes concerned. "Was enien? Nah les bon sae?" She nudged me with a hoof eliciting a shrill screech.
"No, back up you little bugger! Stay back, I don't wanna have to use ....." I search in vain and just grab the tray from the bed. "This!" Swinging the tray like a heater sheild I tried to fend off the approaching monstrosity... Sounds badass right? In all reality I just took a step back, slipped on a carelessly placed apple core and slammed my head against the wall hard enough to knock me out.

Switch

Audible Range - Audi for short-believed that the day would start off normal; wake up in the barracks, eat, and train. Everything was going swimmingly, well other than the fact that Shining Armor was being even more of a hard flank than normal. Little did she know she was going to be dealing with a very freaked out...being....
Ignoring the appraising looks she got from some of her peers Audi went along with her standard routine, wishing that something mildly interesting would happen. Don't misunderstand, she loved being a royal guard, but things can get a bit boring and repetitive after a while. Especially since Not a darn thing happened in canterlot.
Midway through her second set of one hundred push-ups the captain called for a halt.
"At ease soldiers," Shining ordered. There was a light jingling of armor as the regiment fell into a more relaxed pose. "I must say, I am quite pleased with the scores you all attained on the aptitude tests. Well, almost all of you." He looks off to the side and a blue pony coughs in embarrassment. "Ahem, anyways Princess Celestia to-" Shining Armour was cut off as a young servant ran to him.
"Captain! Captain!" A brown earth pony ran to the captain, visibly bursting with news.
"This had better be good Saccharine," he huffed.
"Oh, it is it is! Princess Celestia wanted me to tell you..." Saccharine whisperers something into the captains ear that makes him freeze.
"Are they sure?" He shoots back in an low tone.
"Y-yes sir, they called for you and Audible Range specifically."
The white unicorn nodded and dismissed the servant. "Audible Range, it seems as though our Princess needs us. The rest of you will continue on with the morning drills, and Lieutenant Sharp is in charge." The brindle mare saluted and began to follow her superior as a burly orange pegasus jumped up and started to bark orders.
"What is it sir?" Audi was quite nervous. To be pulled aside by the captain was one thing, but for Princess Celestia to pull you is a whole different level of terror.
"What I am about to tell you is not to leave us. If any hint of this gets out you will find yourself court marshaled and imprisoned faster than you can teleport. Got it?"
"Y-yes sir," she said, gulping.
"Approximately thirteen hours ago a being was found unconscious on the Princesses balcony. She immediately called in the Solar Guard and had it removed and placed in a hidden room. Now this being is unlike anything we have seen before. Judging by its body structure it is bipedal. It has little fur, mainly on its head; its appendages are reminiscent of a monkeys paw, having four prehensile digits and oppose-able thumbs. Seein as how we have never encountered one of its kind before we are referring to it as subject Zero." Turning left down a corridor that Audi hadn't even notice Shining continued uninterrupted. "That isn't the most shocking thing; it’s wearing clothing. It's sapient. Not long after it awoke the first time we tried to feed it, it refused to eat or drink and instead tried to break the tray on the bed frame."
"Really? Any idea as to why sir?"
"One of two things: it was angry, or it was trying to make a weapon. I am thinking it may be the latter because it did seem to exhibit signs of anger but they were only short spikes in its relatively stable, if not paranoid demeanor." The captain turned to her and sighed. "Until we can understand it we are just going to have to keep it isolated and sealed off from all the population. don't worry, when it was first found a medic ran a scan on it and determined that it carried no harmful diseases or bacteria. But just to be safe the room it is in has an antibacterial enchantment on it. And that's where you come in."
"M-me? What am I supposed to do?" She said bewildered.
"Try to talk to it, understand it. More importantly: see if it poses a threat to us." Stopping short at a door he gestured with a hoof and grinned. "I have faith in yo-" He was interrupted as the door opened and the creature walked out. It stopped and looked around with a look of confusion on its - face? It opened its mouth and said something in a foreign language before Celestia walked out behind it.
"Please, wait!" It appeared she was trying to calm it, but it stiffened suddenly and looked at her. What could only be described as a look of love, fear and sadness over came its visage. Falling onto its hind legs tears began to stream down its face. The princess tried to reach out a hoof in reassurance but it shrunk back.
"Someone take it into the room, It’s fainting."
"Me, Princess Celestia? I mean I'll do it." The same servant that came to warn us stepped forward.
"Fine, but be warned it seems very fragile. Do not hurt it, at all. You would not like to incur my anger about this." With that she beckoned to Shining Armour and walked down the hall, leaving Audi, Saccharine and a few other ponies with the creature. It reached a limb out towards her, weakly calling before it collapsed onto the ground.
"Well then...."


No more than five minutes later Audi found herself in the room with the strange being. It could talk, but the language was unknown to anyone in the castle, or Equestria, or maybe even the planet. Swallowing nervously the mare looked at the looked at the sleeping creature. It wore all black, strange seeing as how its skin (very fur less by the way) was a rich chestnut color. Its face was quite flat, having no muzzle at all. There was fur growing on what looked like its chin, and it had intricately woven hair going down its head.
"Might as well find out a little bit about you." Lighting up her horn the brown mare used her magic to scan its nervous, circulatory, endocrine, and respiratory systems. "Hm, the digestive tract is quite similar to ours, but the stomach seems to be filled with a less powerful acid." Marking her notes down on a small notebook that she kept in her armor she gently opened its mouth she saw that it had both canines and molars. "Appears to be an omnivore. Molars in back, canines in the middle and flat incisors in the front... How interesting." Increasing the magic going to her horn she intensified the scan, only for it to roll over and run to the toilet where it voided its stomach with force. The mare was disgusted but using her magic contained a small sample of it and placed it in a small container to be sent off to the lab for analysis.
Leaning in a bit closer she examined its face, watching its eyes flicker before opening up. It stared for a split second before crying out and scrabbling back.
"Oh, I'm sorry did I frighten you?" Audi was worried that she offended it somehow. Frowning she performed a spell of her own making; an empathy link. It allowed her to get a basic feel of any pony or beings emotions. She felt the waves of confusion, sadness and a a bit of rage, all bubbling within it. The spell worked two ways though, while she could sense its emotions it could sense hers too.
Reaching a forelimb out cautiously it began to scratch Audi behind the ears. She froze with the unexpected feeling but after a moment rubbed her head against its limb.
"That feels amazing," she purred.
The creature laughed, a deep booming sound that seemed as though it belonged to a male. Saying something in its native tongue it continued scratching her head, the deep soothing voice confirming her suspicions, but the sound of his stomach growling made her jump.
"I bet anyone can understand that huh?" The mare face hoofed at her forgetfulness and laughed. Smiling a bit she levitated a plate of food that was graciously left by Saccharine to the unknown male’s sitting form. He says something in his foreign tongue and huff with irritation realizes that Audi can't understand him. Pointing to the food, pantomimes eating, then points to himself. Audi smiles and nods, and watches with curiosity as he eats. Smiling widely he began to devour the fruits like a mad animal, pausing for a moment to offer Audi an apple. The brindle mare started and shook her head, feeling a bit embarrassed that a strange creature would want to give its food to a complete stranger.
Once full the being assumed a somber demeanor and stopped moving for a moment. A feeling of deep sadness, dread and a bit of cynicism leaked through the connection making Audi flip an ear worriedly.
Is he okay? Just as she opened her mouth, it spoke. It seemed as though he was questioning her, but a booming laugh dispelled that notion. Frowning internally Audi opened her mouth, only for the being to reach out and ruffle her hair a bit more. He laughs again making her jump a bit but she joins a moment later.
"I guess you're all right huh?" She smiled and the male just shrugged and pantomimed not being able to understand her. Wait, what? I think we're on to something here! The brindle pony smiled internally and proceeded to clumsily mimic the beings movements, causing it to smile and nod its head. Papyrus scrolls and a quill! Gathering energy in her horn Audi winked out of existence, only to reappear in the guard’s barracks to grasp a paper scroll and a quill. Repeating the previous action she found herself back in the room, smiling wildly the whole time, or rather she was smiling. The being reached a shaking limb out to her and gently messed her mane, all the while it had a look of pure horror and disbelief on its face.
"Hey, are you okay, what’s wrong"
He yelled and began to scramble back, visibly freaking out. Audi raised a hoof to motion for him to stop but a melon rind flew out of his hands and hit her in the face.
"What was that for!?" And how did I not notice the rind?
Visibly stressed the creature scrabbled around, seeming as though he was looking for something important. Smiling in victory he grasped a tray in his forelimb and swung it like a one would do with a small buckler shield, shouting all the while. Audi tried to warn him but was a moment too late: he took a step back and slipped on an apple core he carelessly threw and fell back, slamming his head on the wall with a sickening crunch. Shocked Audi just stared at the being. Not even a moment later Shining Armour walked into the room irritated.
"Audible Range! What the buck was that- WHAT IN THE NAME OF TARTARUS DID YOU DO!?"