//------------------------------// // Grounded // Story: Two Meatbags And A Robot In Equestria // by Bendy //------------------------------// Fry, Leela and Bender were now lost on a strange primitive planet in the middle of a forest on some god forsaken sector within the universe. And Bender was unconscious on the ground with a boot mark on his face just outside the crash site of the Planet Express Ship. Leela meanwhile made her way back up the steps of the ship after kicking Bender in the face. "I love my brick!" shouted Bender in his sleep. In the cockpit crippled Fry was muttering to himself and groaning in pain. "Uhhhh! This sucks, I can't move and Leela's probably gonna have to baby feed me!" Back outside Leela was carrying a bag of cement powder down the ships steps, that she left next to the boulder the ship hit into. "Alright, I can use Bender's bricks to make a wall to help protect us from potentially dangerous animals, in addition to the weapons we have and the ship's laser turret. We'll have to take turns using the turret while we sleep. We also have enough beer to last Bender a few days, or minutes if he doesn't drink them sparingly, and we have enough food and water to last me and Fry for about a week." she thought. And so Leela started mixing the cement with the ship's toilet water using a wooden bucket, and then begun building a wall near the steps of the ship. Hours later late at night Leela had started a campfire just outside the ship and had already built the wall only leaving a narrow gap for them to walk in and out from in front of the steps. There wasn't any instances to interrupt her while she built the wall, however when she was just about finished late at night a bear approached curiously. Leela fired a warning shot of a thick red laser beam from the device on her wrist setting the ground on fire right in front of the bear's paws. The bear leaped backwards away in fear from where the laser hit the ground, whom took hint that she did not want him anywhere near her. The bear submissively walked slowly away with it's body down low and it's paws in the air as if it was saying "I surrender! Don't shoot." Over in a bush two Timberwolves watched the fire on the ground where the laser hit. Both of them exchanged nervous looks then ran away. Perhaps their bodies being made out from wood and the fact that strange creature was able to blast fire out from that thing on it's wrist scared them. Inside the cockpit Fry was now asleep snoring loudly in the chair. Outside Leela was sat on the ship's steps eating a red apple. "I wonder if they are already replacing us?" *** In what would appear to be a lounge a red humanoid lobster alien, that wore doctor's clothes sat in the middle of a yellow couch watching the news, which was being presented by a green big headed alien named Morbo and a blonde Human female called Linda. "Thankfully, the amazing talking Pony was rescued and safely returned to the meat department." said Morbo as a picture was shown of a brown, ordinary Pony. However the Pony looked distressed and looked like it was in a great deal of pain while it was in a forest, for it's right front hoof was caught in a bear trap. Zoidberg gasped in horror, then changed the channel with the remote to show the opening of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "I do love these classic shows from the Stupid Ages." he suddenly started to wail loudly in his grief while covering his face with his claws. "Why can't I live in Equestria?!" he shouted. "If I did, then I could have friends." A very, very old bald headed man with very thick glasses, whom also wore a lab coat, lime green pants and light blue slippers walked into the room. "Why are you crying Zoidberg?" "Because I want to live in Equestria!" "Oh boohoo! Don't be such a crybaby." He sat down on the couch next to Zoidberg. "Are they back yet Professor?" "No Zoidberg, I think they are dead. So we'll need to replace them." "Oh." *** Back at the Planet Express Ship's crash site, Bender was now stirring, followed shortly by his eyes opening. "Uhhh! Did you have to kick me Leela?" he said as he groaned in pain while he rubbed his face. "Sorry, I was just a little angry that..." she now started shouting "YOU TOOK ALL THE PARACHUTES LEAVING US TO DIE!" "But you didn't die." he said as he stood up to lean against the boulder. "But we should have died Bender, I don't think there's any possible way we could have survived from a fall that high." "How did we get here anyway?" "I don't know Bender. All I remember is a flash and then us crash landing. It's like as if someone teleported us here." "Yeah, we were entering the Milky Way Galaxy and then suddenly we ended up here." "You know Bender, it kinda like as if an invisible vortex randomly opened next to us and sucked us into it. I mean how stupid is that?" "I dunno Leela, we went on a lot of crazy adventures before. Like that time we went back in time to Roswell, where Fry killed his own grandpa by accident, then accidentally had sex with his own grandma and became his own grandpa and-- "Let's not talk about that!" "The point I'm trying to make is last year we were jumping in and out of boxes that contained entire universes, so I'm willing to believe anything at this point." "Hmm, good point. But would you believe the moon is made out of cheese?" "In a bizarre parallel universe somewhere in the Multiverse, yes I would believe the moon is made out of cheese." "So anything is possible?" "Yes anything. Like in one parallel universe I am a toast and sandwich maker with attitude, and in another I am a magical and all powerful evil unicorn with horns, that can fire laser beams from his eyes and has enslaved an entire world of sapient Ponies and forces them to slave work to their deaths to make statues of me everywhere." "Both of those sound like stupid universes to me." "Yeah, this conversation is getting too stupid and nerdy for my liking." he takes a brown bottle of beer out from his chest cabinet. "I'm gonna go exploring a little." "OK, be careful." Leela went up the ship's stairs, then pressed a red button on the wall, which drew the stairs back up in order to stop anything from going up them to eat them. Bender started gulping down his beer as he walked through the small gap in the wall. "If Bender was a giant. Would that mean he would crap giant bricks to throw at buildings to smash them? Hah, he could also make very big walls out from his bricks." *** Onward Bender went leaving the crash site to explore the forest thinking aloud. "When are we gonan get that ship fixed! " he threw his bottle of beer over his shoulder smashing it. "I want Internet to watch porn! I know I have one terabyte of porno stored in my memory, but that will only last me a couple of days, after that I'll get bored with the porn I have. So what am I supposed to have sex with here, huh? Some sapient native alien? I could have sex with Leela. Though, I don't think Fry would like that very much, nor do I think Leela likes me very much. Oh, this planet sucks!" Suddenly a Timberwolf jumps on Bender knocking him over, but unfortunately for the wolf Bender had soon burped a large column of flame setting alight the Timberwolf's wooden body. The Timberwolf cried in agony while it ran away. "Burn bitch!" Bender stood up to see he was surrounded by Timberwolves. "Bring it on!" he shouted as he pulled a chain saw out from his chest cabinet, which he then proceeded to pull the starter rope to turn it on with a roar. The Timberwolves charged at Bender... to have their heads, legs, or bodies sliced in half to spread bits of wood, sawdust and splinters everywhere as Bender slashed his chain saw wildly about cutting the Timberwolves's wooden bodies with ease. It wasn't long till the few remaining six Timberwolves began to hesitate approaching Bender after seeing him slaughter about a dozen of their fellow pack members. "Do you want more?!" he shouted as he charged at the Timberwolves swinging his chain saw wildly. The Timberwolves ran away crying in fear. "Hah!" He turned off his chain saw and placed it back inside his chest cabinet. *** Back on board the ship Leela was sleeping in her cabin in bed with Fry also fast asleep next to her. *** Bender had now reached the forest's edge to look upon Ponyville. "Hmm, I think I might need to make some room." Bender opened his chest cabinet and started dumping piles of porno magazines on the ground as well as taking out the cloned head of Adolf Hitler in a jar, which he threw over his shoulder smashing it against a tree. "Ich dachte, wir wären Freunde!" shouted Adolf Hitler in German. "Du waren nicht viel helfen, um alle Menschen zu töten!" Bender said also in German while angrily pointing his finger at him with his eyes narrowed. Shortly after Bender left a Timberwolf came by to bite Hitler, whom dragged him away carrying him deep into the forest to eat somewhere safer. So Bender sneaked around the town avoiding a few strange, colorful, pastel, talking Ponies walking around? Funny these "Ponies" seemed to leave their doors unlocked, but unfortunately for Bender as he sneaked into house after house he found nothing of real value. At one point he went into a tree house, but all he found in there was lots of boring books. There wasn't even any porno magazines or just even erotic novels. But then again, Bender thought would he even want porno magazines and erotic novels made from these Ponies? So just when Bender was about to leave this disappointing town with little valuable loot, he decided to check one last house. When Bender opened the door he gasped in joy as he saw gems in... Rarity's house. "Holy brick! I've hit the jackpot." Bender took a sack out from his chest cabinet and started taking everything of value. He carelessly tore off all the gems from the dresses and looted all the chests filled with gems stuffing the sack with it all. He filled his sack with so much gems they started to fall out from it, so he decided to just stuff the rest into his chest cabinet. He also took lots of fancy wine bottles that he found in a press in the kitchen. However when he was just done with taking all the wine out from the press Rarity's cat Opalescence hissed at him from behind. "Ooh a cat!" he extended his arm grabbing Opalescence by the neck making her scream, then he threw her into his chest cabinet. Opalescence could be heard growling inside Bender's chest cabinet. Satisfied with the stuff he's taken, Bender left Rarity's house carrying the sack of gems over his shoulder to make his way back into the forest, but not before dropping a pile of bricks on Rarity's carpet just as he walked out the front door. Soon after Bender left the unicorn Rarity walked down the stairs to investigate what all the noise was about. She then screamed to the high Heavens, from seeing a pile of bricks at the door, all the gems taken and dresses torn. The rainbow Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash flew through the front door. "What happened Rarity?!" "I've been robbed!" she yelled. *** Bender was now walking past the place where he slaughtered all those Timberwolves. He looked happier than usual with all the gems he had taken. *** Pinkie Pie was sniffing the ground following a scent while; Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike followed her. "This Pony smells like stale alcohol and Tabaco." "A fitting smell for a Thief." said Rarity with gritted teeth. "Um, should we like report this to the Royal Guard and just go home?" said Fluttershy. "Nah! I think we'll find em." said Applejack." "I agree. We'll find this thief and whoop his ass!" said Spike. "We sure will Spike." said Rarity with a nasty grin. "Hey, I think I see something." shouted Rainbow Dash as she flew off ahead to find the pile of porno magazines Bender left behind. She picked up one and started flipping through it. "I think it's some kind of weird porno magazine." she said as she looked at pages of naked Human women doing nasty things. "Rainbow Dash, just leave it there. We'll come back and look at it after." said Twilight Sparkle. Just when they left Lyra Heartstrings, whom was apparently following them came by and took all the porno magazines, then ran off laughing maniacally. The Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror as they arrived at the place where Bender had slaughtered the Timberwolves. "It chopped them Timberwolves to pieces." said Applejack in shock with her jaw dropped. "I think we should turn back now." said Fluttershy shaking with fear. "Ah, come on!" shouted Rainbow Dash flying a little off a head. The rest of them didn’t move. "Fine, I'll go myself." "I'll come with you Dashie!" shouted Applejack. "We'll all come!" said Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy sighed. "I hope we don't die." *** Bender had now arrived back at the ship's crash site. "Yo Leela, I'm home." he shouted. Bender tapped his right footcup impatiently. It wasn't long till Leela answered by lowering the stairs. "Finally!" Just as he was about to walk up the stairs Leela questioned him. "Bender, where did you get all that stuff?" she asked curiously while she narrowed her eye at him making him nervous. Hidden in a near by bush were the Mane Six and Spike listening to them. "This is amazing! They are Aliens, yet they can speak English!" said Twilight in awe. "Also thieves." said Rarity angrily while she narrowed her eyes at Bender and Leela. "And the grey one is a robot!" said Pinkie Pie. "Could they hear us?" said Fluttershy. "Don't worry, I cast a noise mute spell." Back at Leela and Bender. "Well Bender?" she said as she walked down the steps. "Uhh, I found it at some town outside this forest." "Can you stop being a kleptomaniac for once?!" she shouted with her arms in the air in exasperation. "No!" Back at the bush. "Well, at least one seems civilized." said Rarity in a more up tone manner than earlier. Back at Leela and Bender. "Do you realize that you may have caused a political shitstorm among the natives of this planet?" "Also I found this cat!" he said as he took Opalescence out from his chest cabinet, which caused the Mane Six and Spike to gasp in horror in the bush and clearly showed Bender was not listening to Leela. "Sweet zombie Jesus! Let that cat go!" she shouted. "Fine!" he dropped Opalescence, whom immediately ran away into the bush along with the rest of the Mane Six and Spike. "I was gonna make a nice Bender Burger out from that cat." Back at the bush. "What's a Bender Burger?" said Spike. "I think it's some kind of food of theirs." said Twilight. "You mean he was gonna cook and eat my cat?" "Yep!" She gasped in horror. Back at Leela and Bender. "Bender do you realize--- Wait! Cats? Are the natives Human?" "No, they are Ponies. Could make good eating." In the bush the Mane Six and Spike gasped in horror. "Bender! It is forbidden by intergalactic law to eat sapient species." she shouted. They then sighed in relief. "Intergalactic Law? Hah, screw intergalactic law! I say we should burn the whole town down and kill everyone in it and then eat them!" Back at the bush the Mane Six and Spike looked terrified. "They'll destroy us all!" shouted Pinkie Pie with her front hooves waving wildly in the air. Leela kicked Bender in the face knocking him over, which caused him to drop his sack, thus spilling the stolen gems everywhere. "They are not for eating!" Leela shouted with gritted teeth. The Mane Six and Spike sighed in relief. "OK OK, Leela! Quit with this kicking me in the face as of late!" "You deserved it." Bender stood back up. "Why would you eat anything anyway? You're a robot, so you don't need to eat anything." "I can taste stuff, so I like to eat food." "Right. Are you sure the natives are Ponies?" "Yes." "That's ... odd. At any rate you must return those gems back to it's rightful-- Suddenly the Mane Six and Spike came out from the bush. "Aww, they are so cute!" shouted Leela. "Did you follow me?!" "Yes!" Rarity shouted while she ran towards Bender glaring at him angrily. "Because you stole my gems, tore my dresses and left a pile of bricks on my carpet!" "And?" "And took my cat!" "Not to mention planning on cooking the cat." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet holding a porno magazine and caused the gems to fall out from his chest cabinet. "What the?!" he shouted. "Hey I found another one of those cool magazines!" "How did you get in there?" he then shouted "Get out!" he grabbed Pinkie Pie and threw her out of his chest into the bush and then closed his chest cabinet afterwards. No sooner had he had done that Pinkie Pie had again stuck her head out from his chest cabinet. "It's not possible!" "How are you doing that Pinkie Pie?" said Applejack. "Magic?" said Leela. "Get out!" he shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out again into the bush and closed his chest, but again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "This is fun!" she shouted. Bender threw Pinkie Pie out yet again into the bush and closed his chest, but yet again Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Can you please get out of my chest?" Leela gasped. "Yes! I said please!" "OK." Pinkie Pie jumped out from his chest. "Thanks." he said while slamming his chest cabinet closed. Rainbow Dash flew towards Leela. "What's with the eye?" Leela sighed while she covered her face with her right hand. "Why does everyone I ever meet ask me that question?" "I'm just asking." "I'm an Alien alright!" "An Alien of an Alien?" said Pinkie Pie curiously. "Yeah." "She's actually a mutant." "God dammit Bender!" she shouted. "What? It's true Leela." "Thanks for being honest Bender." said Applejack. Twilight Sparkle walked towards Bender with her eyes narrowed. "I'm going to have to tell my big brother to have the Royal Guard keep a close eye on you, due to your threat of killing us all." "Fine, whatever." "Also you'll have to return everything you've stolen." "Dammit!" "Also can I open you up and study your parts?" "No!" "But this is for scientific research." "You can take your scientific research and shove it up your ass!" Twilight now turned to look at Leela. "Don't even think about it!" she said angrily while her eye was narrowed to a slit. "You’re lucky, I'm not gonna press charges Bender. This time." said Rarity. "Yeah, you're right there unicorn." he said while he lit himself up a cigar, using his left hand's middle finger as a lighter. "So what's you're names?" asked Leela. "I'm Rainbow Dash." she then began pointing her right hoof at her friends and saying their names. "That's Twilight Sparkle, that's Applejack, that's Fluttershy, that's Rarity, that's Spike, and that's Pink.... Where's Pinkie Pie?" *** Fry still asleep felt something soft poke his nose. "Uhh, Leela. My bones are broken, I can't have sex now." "I'm not Leela silly!" said an energetic voice. Fry opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a pink face of some sort of pony like creature with a huge pair of blue eyes staring at him. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!" Fry stared at Pinkie Pie blankly in complete bewilderment. "Man, am I on drugs again?" "Maybe. What's your name?" "I'm Fry." "Will you be my friend?" "Sure!" "Yay! I'll go tell the others." She leaped out of sight off Fry whom was lying on a bed. Back outside Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of Bender's chest cabinet. "I thought we agreed that you would not go inside my chest?!" Pinkie Pie jumped out of his chest. "Sorry, I needed to use it." "Needed to use it? You didn't pee in there did you?" "No, of course not. Anyway, I made a new friend, he's called Fry!" *** Discord while eating popcorn in space watched Leela and Bender on a plasma TV, both seemingly got along well with the Ponies in conversation and laughter outside the Planet Express Ship's crash site. "Well, that wasn't as fun as I expected." he said sounding disappointed. "Perhaps, I should mix it up a little? By throwing in a few others. Or not, maybe." He laughed maniacally rubbing his hands together while grinning madly.