I never had too much luck with members of the opposite sex or people in general. Who am I kidding? I was afraid of people. Not afraid as in a mouse is afraid of a cat but afraid as in I didn't like being around people I didn't know. It made me feel like they were scrutinizing me, looking at all my little flaws and whatnot. I was, am, a very paranoid person. My luck was shitty, you name it I sucked at it. Especially women.
Any and all females kinda just laughed at me. I was never really "one of the guys", no matter how hard I tried, ha. Of all the thing to be worried about at this point in time I'm worried about females. But I guess when your about to commit suicide because your getting nowhere in life, have nothing to live for and no one left to turn to your mind tends to wander. As I sat there with this gun in my hand, I began contemplating the end of my existence, as I knew that resisting the call of the never ending sleep was inevitable.
"Stop being a bitch, do it!" I was talking to myself. How insane do you have to be to talk yourself to death? "Stop being a little bitch and do it you pussy!" I laugh, a choked and deranged sound and put the barrel up to my temple, only to lower it a moment later. "Well world its been a hell of a ride. Mom, sorry but I can't go on with this. The depression and panic attacks and all that good shit." I laugh again. I wipe my nose and lay back on the bed, making sure my suit was still in good shape.
Lifting the barrel to my temple I squeezed the trigger.
"Later wo-"
BANG!
If anyone tells you that death is exciting, its not. I lie flat on my back, drifting here in this dark abyss, floating. No sounds, no light just never ending silence. I don't know how long it has been since I died. All I know is that this place is incredibly boring.
"So this is hell? Funny I thought it would be a lot worse. Where the fuck is the fire? Where's the brimstone? Actually, this may not even be hell. It could be purgatory for all I freaking know." I tried to move and found that I couldn't. It was as though my body was tied up- no if I was tied up, I could move around a bit more. It was more like I was strapped down to some invisible table. I tried to lift my wrists and legs, but they wouldn't move, the same thing happened when I tried to flex my back. "Okay, definitely strapped onto something," I muttered quietly. "Hello? Anyone there?" As I feared there was no answer, just my voice echoing back and mocking me.
"Fuck."
I soon became aware of my breathing. A physical impossibility for a corpse. I shot myself in the head and yet am still breathing. You never know how much you take breathing for granted until you cant do it anymore. And sight, that too. Speaking of which, why can I see light through my eyelids?
Raising a hand I shield my eyes and groan as I find myself staring into a bright light. "What...? I'm dead." But the surface I was on was real. "I'm dead, I should be DEAD!" I dig my nails into my arm and the pain is real, far too real.
Goddamn useless ass waste of space I am. Eh, I can't even kill myself correctly. Wait what, but more importantly, how? There is no logic! ERROR 404. Please shut down and restart. Yeah, that's the sound of me trying to process what is going on. Crying out in distress I bolt upright and look around in bewilderment. What I see confirms my suspicions, I am still alive, somehow. I could feel the panic in my system rising, threatening to overwhelm me. No, stay calm. that's how people fucking die in theses situations. They panic. Breathe in and out slowly a few times and then look around and try to memorize the surrounding area. I managed to quell the fear and began to look around the room I was in, hoping to find a weapon of sorts or at least something to tell me where in the fuck I was.
All white room. Mattress supported by a rather large wooden frame, appears to not have any springs in it and yet it is very comfortable. Small sink/toilet in the corner, thankfully it has toilet paper. Worst case scenario I flood this bitch. Moving on, wooden door with an old fashion handle and lock, and what appears to be a slot for food? I attempted to open it but as I suspected it was locked. Wherever I am, the people in this place obviously don't want me to get out. Sighing in frustration I shook my head. "Hello? Anyone? A little help?" I could hear movement outside the door along with hushed voices. "I know that you are there, don't fuck with me! Tell me where the deuce I am right now! Or if you're going to ignore me at least send in some water!"
When no one answered I punched the door, bruising my knuckles and making the wood creak slightly. "Would it help if I said please?" I said sarcastically. Moments later the slot slid open, much to my surprise, and a plastic tray with a few pieces of fruit were pushed in. Blinking in surprise I grabbed the items and sat on the bed looking them over. I have played enough video games to know not to eat this shit. The tray however? I can make a makeshift weapon that I can hide on me.
After emptying off the tray I examined it, checking it for any flaws that I could exploit and found none. Shrugging I knelt next to the bed and began the laborious process of slamming the tray against the wooden leg to break it. Fifteen minuets later I had no luck. Whatever this thing was made of, it sure as hell wasn't anything I had ever dealt with. Collapsing on my butt I sighed heavily. "Something here isn't right. All the noise should have attracted someone. This is crazy." I yawned widely, and shook my head. "Whoa, what the hell? Why am I so tired?" I tried to stand, and managed to make it to a half kneeling half prone position, with my upper body on the bed. "No. Don't sleep. Need to be alert. Gotta watch my back...don't trust...place..." As my eyes drifted closed I faintly heard the door open and saw a rather blurry outline in front of me. The last thing I remember is a flash of violet eyes.
The sound of a door snapping shut woke me from my musings. Groaning I grabbed my head, I had a really bad headache, it was like someone kicked me in the side of the head. "Ow," I groaned. "Sonuva-"
"Oh, eloi deyla ney-ish?" The voice that interrupted me was melodic, calm and unmistakably female. Like a small stream the foreign words trickled over my ears, gentle but also hard and commanding.
"What in THE FUCK!?" Looking up for the source of the voice I see something that makes me think I have severe brain damage and are in a coma or some weird shit. I found myself looking into the lavender eyes of a, I shit you not, a goddamn unicorn. A damn tall ass unicorn with purple eyes. It had wings too, oddly enough, and a weird multicolored mane that billowed- no flowed in a nonexistent breeze.
"Eloi deyla ney-ish?" It- she- repeats.
"Ah, so this is what eternity is? Trapped in a room with a unicorn?" God it's like that episode of Invader Zim when he tried to trap all those kids in a room with a moose...... I weighed my options and ddecided to make a break for the door. I stood calmly, smiled at the weird pegacorn thing and waved. "Nope, nothing to do here." I proceeded to walk out of the door, only to see more unicorns, and some pegasai and a few regular ponies. "What..?"
The sound of my voice stopped them all, every eye focused on me. "Erm, hi?"
"O zuella kathoi!" The voice of the female unicorn sounds from behind me and I turn slowly.
You ever had one of those moments where you see feel something or someone staring at you but you can't tell what? As if there was someone who knew you intimately staring at you as you slept? Like a parent looking over your messed up report card, and you can feel their disappointment, even though they never say anything? That's how I feel now. I turned and saw the crature, and I mean actually saw it. There was so much about it that I couldn't describe that I dropped my jaw. It was about the size of a large horse, with fur as white as virgin snow. Large white wings were slightly extended from its back and as my eyes traveled toward its face I began to feel more and more scared, this thing radiated power. Now when I say it radiated power, I don't mean it felt like I was staring at a police officer or something, no, I felt as though I was staring into the face of a being way beyond my own simple comprehension. I'm not one for religion but I think that it's a god of some sort. By the time my brown eyes met with its purple ones I felt as though it knew everything about me. As our eyes were locked I could feel all the past wrongs, all the hurts, sins and other misdeeds piling up on me. Man, it was crippling, I felt my legs give out and I dropped to my knees dumbly before this radiant creature with tears flowing down my face. I could feel the compassion coming off of her, emanating in such powerful waves it reduced me to nothing but an emotional wreck.
Something akin to concern flashed across he and she reached a hoof out to me. I jerked away, feeling as though my sins were too great for something that pure to touch. Snorting a bit the creature took a few steps back and barked out what seemed like a few orders.
"Aoi annah, lezelk il bin contu." Its voice was so soft and lilting, almost motherly in a way.
A small brown pony, a normal one, zipped up to her and bowed. "Zel, Mic Celestia. Nana fey bon zelch?"
"Nen, bon zelk ney feyto aldunas. Pazad mishca ordoorvos. Seil!" Spinning around she walked off, leaving the pony there stunned and me slowly reaching out to her.
"No, please... don't go..." The light she shed slowly faded as I fell into the sweet embrace of sleep.
I awoke to a strange feeling, it was as though someone was dragging a mesh net throughout my core. Whatever it was it was warm and had a smooth steady beat, not unlike a heart, but that made it all the more it felt invasive. Groaning I rolled over and stumbled to the toilet, seeing through half working eyes. I spent a few minuets praying to the porcelain gods, which is a lot harder to do when you have nothing in your stomach.
"Malis nah zen zil no foram?"
"Ugh, you know I don't understand your blasted language you twat waffle!" I huff a bit and open my eyes only to stare into the blue ones of, get this, a unicorn. I yelped and scooted back a bit, trying to get some space between us. I look around and see that I am in the room where I woke up. I guess they carted my sorry ass back here.
It frowns and a moment later its horn lights up and I feel that presence in my core again, making me feel queasy and afraid. I slowly slid backwards, my ass dragging along the ground in quite an undignified manner and my eyes never leaving it. That light thing isn't natural. No way in hell. It is very possible that it can be a threat to me. Priority number one; don't piss this thing off. As All of this was happening in my head the unicorn took the opportunity to take a few steps toward me, its blue eyes narrowed slightly.
I could feel something coming from it, something that was very familiar but I couldn't place what. I stood quickly and felt a jolt of surprise and fear centered in my chest that was not my own. I looked at the unicorn, I could see that it was trembling slightly. Reaching out slowly it shrunk back and I felt the fear spike.
What the fuck? How the- no, not the time. I need to find out where the hell I am and what happened. I turned towards the door and tried to open it, but was stopped by its lock, again. Shit. Kneeling down I began to examine it, my inner nerd taking over and trying to figure out the easiest way to open it. Reaching in my pocket I felt around and luckily found a bobby pin. "Pfft, even in god knows where I still find my moms hair crap in one of my pockets." Sticking the pin in the keyhole I proceeded to try and pick the lock.
Five minuets later I moaned in exasperation at the stubborn door. "Screw it," I sighed. "It's not like I know what the deuce is going on anyways." Turning back to the unicorn I smiled slightly. "Well bonehead, looks like it's just you and me huh?"
As I spoke to it I felt as though the emotions I felt were not all my own, as if I could feel its emotion coming through this, this connection for lack of a better word. Worry, curiosity and genuine concern were the main things I could feel. Smiling gently I put my hand out slowly towards it, palm up in a non threatening manner. When it didn't stop me I slowly put my hand on its head and scratched behind its ears. The unicorn stiffened for a moment, causing me to stop but after a second is rubbed its head into my hand again.
"Zlaos nel shardik..." It said in a relaxed tone.
Another female huh? "Ya know what little unicorn?" Little wasn't the proper term for her. She stood about three and a half feet from the floor to her shoulder. Her form was smaller than the winged unicorn I saw earlier so I had to think she was a pony. Looking down and her hooves I saw that they were about as large as my palm plus the first segment of my fingers. "I don't find this as weird as I should." The sound of my stomach growling made me laugh and her to jump a bit.
"Oh, hil don bish no wales?" She face palmed-facehoffed?- and lit her horn up. A moment later a plate with an assortment of food came floating in the room. Apples the size of my hand, pears, watermelon slices and all sorts of fruits, and also for some weird reason grass and oats.
OK, so that horn obviously has some kind of special properties. The only creature on earth that can make light like that is an angler fish, and seeing as how I am not in the ocean, and that's a horse, I'm going to have to say that that thought is wrong. Magic? Possibly. Its horn lit up and stuff came floating in. It cold also be some sort of special effect or some bullshit like that.
"Um, is this mine?" She looked at me with her head cocked to the side. Sighing a bit I point too the food and pantomime eating and then point to myself. Smiling widely she nods. I begin to examine the food; you can never be to careful right? Seeing nothing wrong with them, i began to eat the fruits with gusto, only to stop a moment later and look at her. She smiles again, but I feel bad just eating all of this without offering her any, so I grab an apple and offer it to her.
She blushes a bit and shakes her head, as she does that I feel a hint of-embarrassment?- coming through the connection. Frowning a bit I set the apple down and begin to muse my situation.
I tried to kill myself but instead find myself here in a world with colorful talking pones, unicorns, pegasai and what appears to be some sort of pegasus unicorn god....... Shit.