//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: All Aboard // Story: Earth to Twilight // by terrycloth //------------------------------// It would have been a relatively nice day, for winter, if it hadn’t been for the cursed wind. The wind hadn’t been on the weather report, which meant it was either random weather from the Everfree Forest, or an unanticipated side effect of the weather patrol’s more visible efforts. That, or somepony on the weather team was in a really bad mood and decided that everypony else should also suffer. Whatever the reason, Twilight was still uncomfortable even beneath her saddle and scarf. She wasn’t cold, exactly – actually, with Spike sitting on her back, huddling under a blanket, she was a little overheated – but the wet, wind-driven snow stung her legs, flank, and the exposed parts of her face. A force field would have really come in handy. At least it meant the streets were mostly deserted, so she didn’t have to worry that everypony was laughing at her behind her back. The only laughter was from the town’s fillies and colts, who seemed immune to the weather. “Think fast!” came a high-pitched voice from beside her, and out of the corner of her eye she spotted a snowball coming her way. For once, she remembered she was an earth pony, and tried to buck it away with a hind hoof instead of catching it with her nonexistent telekinesis, only to miss it and end up with a wet, sloppy snowball splattered across her rear. Twilight squeaked and sat down heavily, waking up Spike and eliciting a round of giggles from her assailants. “Sorry, kids, I don’t have time for a snowball fight right now,” she said to the pair of fillies hiding behind the wall of a snow fort. “I’ve got seventeen items left on my checklist.” “I could add it to the list if you want,” Spike offered, peering out from under the blanket with drowsy eyes. “No! Time is critical,” Twilight said, standing up and ducking under another volley from the fort as she ran for the marketplace. When she arrived, almost everything was closed. Many of the merchants who still sold during the winter months were absent, and while the apple family cart was there, it was shuttered and unattended. The wind was twice as strong in the market square, which provided a bit of an explanation. She looked around for any sign of Applejack, and her gaze drifted across Sugarcube Corner, which was definitely open, and judging from the movement she could faintly make out through the snow-speckled window, even had customers for once. Well, it was worth a try. The bell over the door jingled as she pushed through into the pastry-scented warmth, and a babble of excited voices washed over her. Sugarcube Corner was packed with ponies, all of them happy and excited, but the one voice that pierced through the crowd was the high-pitched, bouncy voice of Pinkie Pie. “…and then Twilight was like ‘GASP! What happened to your horn! Oh no, what happened to my horn?!’” Twilight cringed, and tiptoed across the room behind the crowd, heading for the counter. What was Mrs. Cake thinking, letting Pinkie out in public like that? Spike peeked out from under the blanket. “Is that Pinkie Pie?” “No!” Twilight hissed, but it was too late – he’d already hopped off and pushed between the gathered ponies to get a look for himself. “Hey! Over here!” came a grating voice from the other direction, and Twilight spotted Cherry Berry gesturing wildly for her. She hesitated – and only grudgingly joined her at her tiny table because Applejack was sitting next to her. “Applejack! I’ve been looking all over for you,” Twilight said. “Well, technically, I was about to start looking all over for you, but I found you at the second place I looked. I would have kept looking all over for you though, since you’re the highest priority item on my checklist by far.” “That’s… nice,” Applejack said, staring at her suspiciously. “I guess?” “Of course, I was hoping to catch you alone.” “Alone? In a dark alleyway, perhaps? What were you planning on doing to her?” Cherry Berry asked. “If it’s not too dangerous I might be able to help.” “It’s not that,” Twilight said. “It’s about a secret.” “Ooh, tell me more!” Cherry Berry said, leaning forwards eagerly. Twilight shook her head. “Sorry. It’s not my secret.” “I figured it might be something like that,” Applejack said, frowning. “This is about yesterday morning, right?” “Yeah,” Twilight said. “Out at the barn. When you met my friend.” “You sure she’s a friend?” Applejack asked. “I’m invoking Ponyville law to declare her my friend,” Twilight said. “You all did it to me when I first arrived, so you owe me that much.” Applejack laughed mirthlessly. “Fine, but I hope you know what you’re doing. Her sort is bad news, Twi.” Twilight sighed. “I know. But I think she means… well… I don’t think she means any harm. Per se.“ Applejack snorted. “It’s okay, I understand. Just keep your eye on ‘er.” Twilight nodded. “I will.” Cherry Berry stared at the pair. “A griffon?” she guessed. “No!” Twilight said. “Hmm… a dragon.” “Stop it, Cherry,” Applejack said. “You know how bad Twilight is at keepin’ secrets. Do you really want her blabbing everything to a room full of ponies?” “Weellll…” Cherry Berry said, scratching at her chin with a hoof. “Am I one of those ponies? I think I am.” Twilight’s ears folded down. “Look, Applejack, I just wanted to say… please keep it under your hat, at least for a few days. I’m looking for a more permanent solution right now but I need a little time.” “A changeling!” Cherry Berry said. Twilight closed her eyes and took a breath. “No, Cherry Berry. It’s not a changeling.” She had no idea if she’d delivered that believably. Opening her eyes showed Applejack frowning at her. “Hmm… a human?” Twilight blinked. “A what?” Cherry Berry scowled. “Oh, come on, am I at least getting close?” “Look,” Twilight said, “I’ll tell you at some point in the future, but you need to stop guessing now. I might slip up and give it away and it’s not my secret! How would you feel if I gave away your secrets?” Cherry Berry looked confused. “I have secrets?” Twilight opened her mouth, then closed it and narrowed her eyes. She smiled sheepishly, and said, “I’ll make some up?” The pink pony stared at her for a few seconds, then burst into laughter, slapping her hoof on the table. “I like you, Twilight! You’re fun.” Twilight stared at her. “Well. That’s… good. I guess. Anyway,” she continued, digging into her saddlebag to fetch her checklist, and into her other saddlebag to get a quill, “I think my work here is done.” With the quill in her mouth, she carefully drew a checkmark next to the item at the top of the list. “’Silence Applejack’?” Cherry Berry read off, peering at the list upside down. “I… may have been just a little bit annoyed at her when I was making up this list,” Twilight admitted. “Sorry, Applejack.” She smiled briefly at Applejack, who stared back patiently from under her hat. “Spike! Come on, let’s go!” The little dragon came running. “Twilight! They’ve got Pinkie Pie trapped in a mirror!” “As long as she stays trapped there,” Applejack said, scowling. “Always nice to see ya, Twi, and good luck with the rest of your list. I’d offer to keep ya company, but I think I’m gonna stay here and make sure that Pinkie doesn’t try nothing.” Twilight smiled. “Then I’ll leave Equestria in your capable hooves.” === After another look at the deserted marketplace, and a few minutes shivering in the cold, Twilight found herself wondering how many of the rest of the items on her list could be found at Barnyard Bargains. Normally, Twilight preferred using smaller shops – the big barn stores had never caught on in Canterlot, and she still felt a bit intimidated by the notion of one shop selling everything, or at least an inferior but workable substitute for almost anything. With the freezing wind howling outside, though, and so many other ponies staying home from the weather, she decided that facing her fear of ponies selling things out of barns was the lesser evil. Well, the lesser annoyance. At first glance, the giant shop was as bewildering as she’d feared – shelves, stacked higher than anypony could reach with seemingly random items, lining all the stalls where cows would normally sleep, and more set up in rows in the central storage area. It was bright and warm, at least – firefly lanterns were set up everywhere, and there must have been a furnace in some hidden corner. “Hi there!” said a cheerful green mare, lunging at her as she entered. “Welcome to Barnyard Bargains! Need help finding anything?” Twilight stared at her in shock until she realized she was being rude, then shook her head and said, “It’s okay, I’ll just, er, have a look around if that’s okay.” “Alright! Just ask anypony on staff if you need any help!” the clerk said cheerfully as she wandered back to the register to wait for somepony to buy something. The rows of shelves reminded Twilight of the central Library in Canterlot, and once she’d made that connection it didn’t take long for her to realize that the aisles and stalls were labeled by category, like a library of goods. Checking the list for the first item to buy, she guessed that climbing equipment would be filed under ‘sports’, assuming that that was what the hoofball sign represented. She tentatively took a step towards the aisle in question, letting out her breath in relief as nothing new jumped out to terrify her. Then she took another step, and a dark shape swooped past through the hayloft, almost overhead. Looking up, she spotted shadowy pegasi moving large boxes around the upper level, occasionally carrying one down to the lighted floor level to restock the shelves. She took a careful look around the barn, imagining invisible lines delineating the part of the store where the hayloft’s floor protected the customers below, and the deadly reaches where she’d be unprotected from plummeting inventory. It was quickly apparent that there was no safe path, thanks to the high shelves dividing up the store into narrow passageways, most of them perpendicular to the wide gaps above. So with no way to stay completely safe, she carefully walked down the aisle to the edge of the line of death, staring across the imaginary danger zone at the shelves full of climbing equipment beyond. She lowered her head, scratched at the ground with her hoof, and waited for the aerial assailants to pass before making a mad dash to safety under the next stretch of ceiling. “Ahhh, Twilight! What gives!” Spike complained, his claws digging into her neck as he struggled to stay on her back. “Nothing! Nothing. Everything is fine,” Twilight said, grabbing a coil of rope and passing it to Spike, then peering at a selection of pitons and grappling hooks. “I’ve got it figured out.” “Just warn me next time,” Spike grumbled, gathering the items as Twilight pulled them off the shelf. “Okay,” Twilight said. “We’re done here. I think I saw preserved food three aisles down, so we’ll just need to make a quick run back to the start – AHHH!” She screamed and jumped back as a pegasus plummeted from the sky to land right in front of her. “Hi!” Seaside said. “What’s got you so jumpy?” Twilight looked up at the other pegasus working with the boxes. “Wouldn’t it make sense to keep the heavy, pony-crushing crates under the floor or something, instead of looming overhead?” Twilight asked nervously, one eye twitching. Seaside laughed. “Oh, come on, nopony here has ever dropped a crate on a customer’s head.” “Never?” Twilight asked, suspiciously. “Never,” Seaside said. “If we do, we get fired. Like that crazy gray mare I got hired to replace a few weeks ago --” “Derpy was working here?” Seaside nodded. “Although from what I’ve heard, not for very long. Oh!” She took off, and flew up into the loft. After a few seconds, she swooped down through a different opening, landing behind Twilight. “Here! We’ve got a million of these sitting in a crate, I’m sure the boss wouldn’t mind if you borrowed one for a while.” Twilight took the rainbow-patterned umbrella hat, and with a shrug, flipped it onto her head. Seaside snickered. “I like it,” Spike said. “It’s very you, Twilight.” Seaside covered her mouth. “It’s a little silly looking, but it’ll keep you safe. Guaranteed! The box says it’s ‘Pinkie Sense Approved’ whatever that means.” Twilight glanced up at the hat. If nothing else, it would keep her from seeing the pegasi flitting around overhead. “Thanks, I guess,” she said. “Anyway, since you’re here, the boss wanted to talk to you,” Seaside added conversationally. “The office is over in the back behind the farm equipment. There was something about ‘tell Twilight she’d better come or else you’re not getting that time off you asked for’ blah blah blah, not that I really care – I mean, either way I’m not coming back here. Right?” “It’s always best to keep your options open,” Twilight said. “I talked to Applejack and she promised to trust me, for now. She hasn’t told anypony.” “Told anypony what?” Spike asked. “Exactly,” Twilight said. === The umbrella hat worked as promised, and absolutely nothing fell on Twilight’s head while she was wearing it, not even when she accidentally dislodged a half-dozen boxes of trail mix trying to fetch them from a shelf that turned out to be just a little too high to reach. They fell on Spike’s head, instead, but he was a dragon and virtually indestructible, despite his grumbling. So, in what seemed like only a few minutes, Twilight had purchased everything on her list, and half a dozen things she hadn’t thought about until she saw them there on the shelves – like some soap-on-a-rope since her parents probably didn’t have any, and some zap apple jam as a gift since she was showing up unannounced. She even had enough bits left over for her train ticket, which would save a trip back to the library to get more. Hopefully that would leave her enough time to finish everything before the afternoon train, even after adding an unexpected meeting to her list. “It’s a surprisingly efficient operation,” she remarked to Spike, as she headed for the back corner to find the office. “It makes me a little nervous,” Spike said. “It’s like a giant cave full of stuff – I keep expecting the dragon to show up and defend his hoard.” “Well, we’re going to see the dragon now,” Twilight said. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t intend to eat us.” Once they were at the back, the office wasn’t hard to find, although pushing past the sign reading ‘employees only’ gave Twilight a slight twinge of conscience even though she knew she’d been invited. “There you are!” screeched the small pink filly sitting behind the desk two sizes too large for her. She was head down over a ledger, making notes with a quill, and didn’t look up at Twilight and Spike. “I hope you remembered the extra hay in my hay shake.” “I was told you wanted to speak to me?” Twilight asked, a little surprised that the ‘boss’ was Filthy’s daughter, although it made sense that he wanted her to learn the family business. Even Applebloom did chores around the farm. “You!” Diamond Tiara said, dropping the quill instantly and sitting up straight, as she recognized Twilight’s voice. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to come see me at my mansion. Can’t your friends even be blackmailed properly?” “Are you sure she’s not going to eat us?” Spike said in a low voice. Twilight sighed. “You’re not supposed to call it blackmail, Tiara.” “Diamond Tiara,” the filly insisted. “Send your minion away, and we can discuss business.” “Anything you can say to Twilight, you can say to me!” Spike insisted. “We don’t work for you, so you don’t get to order us around!” “Spike, humor her,” Twilight said, tossing him the umbrella hat. Normally she would have been inclined to take his side, but given that the messenger had been Seaside, there were possible topics of conversation that Spike didn’t need to know. Possible angles from which she could be blackmailed, because she had secrets. Although if Diamond Tiara tried to blackmail her, she could always foalnap the filly and have Ditto alter her memories, since apparently he specialized in memory spells. But first, she’d hear her out -- that sort of intrigue was best left to fictional characters and the occasional idle fantasy. “And don’t listen at the door,” she added. “Aww,” Spike grumbled, as he ambled out of the office. “And don’t snack on that food I just bought!” Twilight added as he closed to door behind him. “I swear, sometimes I’m not sure if he’s a dragon or a bottomless pit.” When she turned back to the desk, Diamond Tiara had once again donned her eponymous headpiece, and somehow, in the few seconds that Twilight had been looking away, she’d also cleared the papers off of her desk and set up a few expensive-looking kinetic sculptures. Noticing Twilight once again looking her way, she slammed both hooves onto the table dramatically. “Where is my moondust!” “The princesses confiscated it?” Twilight said, unsure where the filly was going with this. They’d had to scrape it off the side of the mountain, first – the return flight from the moon hadn’t really ended well. “I don’t care if they had it shipped back up to the moon, Sparkle. You and Pinkie Pie promised to bring my father a crate of moondust –“ “Moon rocks,” Twilight corrected. “Well, lucky for you, we’re willing to accept moondust, since that’s all you actually managed to bring with you,” she replied. “Is this for you, or for your father?” Twilight asked. “Moondust isn’t just pretty dust that glows on its own, you know. It’s dangerous.” “How dangerous could it be? You were swimming in it up there.” “It’s made up of millions of tiny golems,” Twilight explained. “While they’re inactive, it’s just dust, but if you figured out how to activate them you could wreak havoc. Somepony could get seriously hurt!” Diamond Tiara looked unconcerned, so Twilight added, “Probably you.” Diamond Tiara snorted. “That’s for me to worry about, after you get me my moon dust.” “The Princess is going to worry about it beforehand,” Twilight pointed out. “She’s going to want to make sure it isn’t misused, and that isn’t even considering the sentimental value it has for her as a piece of her moon. I can bring up your claim, but I don’t think she’s going to go along with it.” “You’d better figure out a way to make her,” the little pink filly replied, “or else…” Twilight’s ears perked up, and she tensed. Here it came. “Or else what?” “It seems that somepony checked out your first edition, signed copy of The Return of Harmony from the library. What was it doing on the shelves? I mean, it was obviously from your personal collection…” Diamond Tiara shook her head. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if it was never returned?” “You do know that I’m allowed to impose fines for overdue books, right?” Twilight said, relaxing a bit. Compared to the possibilities she’d come up with, a stolen book was, well, kid’s stuff. “I know how the highest fine ever imposed for an overdue book compares to my weekly allowance,” Diamond Tiara replied. “Besides, I’m not the one who checked it out.” Twilight sighed. “And I’m not the one you have to convince that you’re responsible enough to be trusted with moondust. I can ask Luna about it, but I can’t make any promises.” “You already made your promises, Sparkle,” Diamond Tiara said. “Now get out of here. And get me my moondust!” “Would you like a hay shake with that?” Twilight said as she left the room, to find Spike sitting very still next to a large semi-automatic snow plow. Rigid. Motionless. As if he hadn’t just been listening at the door. “Come on, Spike. All that’s left is to let Cheerilee know she needs to watch the library for the next couple days, and then we can go see Rarity. You like Rarity, don’t you?” “Well, yeah,” Spike said, unenthusiastically. “You’re not going to ditch me there again, are you?” “Of course not! Look at the checklist,” Twilight said, getting it out of her bag and letting it unroll enough for Spike to see the entry in question. “’Visit Rarity for better cold weather gear, and not to ditch Spike,” he read out loud. “Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all.” === Ditto was waiting for her at the train station. “Is everything ready?” Twilight nodded and set down her packed suitcase. “Cheerilee’s watching the library, Applejack promised not to say anything to anypony, and I ditched Spike at Rarity’s. He thinks I’m being fitted for a new jacket. It probably won’t fool him for long, but he’s not really very fast under his own power, so the train should be gone before he can get here.” “Seaside’s already on board,” Ditto said. “She brought a friend. I hope that doesn’t change your plans.” Twilight shook her head. “Not as long as you’re all okay sharing the guest room when we get to my parents’ place. Or I guess one of you could stay in my room, since we’re already doubling up.” Ditto looked confused. “Why do we need rooms? Aren’t we leaving to see the princess the same night anyway?” “We’ll be up all night, so we should probably at least catch a nap.” She bought her ticket, and with Ditto levitating her suitcase, they headed onto the train. Twilight cringed a little when she saw Seaside’s friend – the changeling was sitting next to Rainbow Dash, or somepony who looked just like her, which was sure to get attention. Not necessarily the wrong kind of attention, though – her parents didn’t know Rainbow very well, and she’d certainly be in character accompanying Twilight to see the princess. Still… “Rainbow Dash? Really?” she asked, as she and Ditto took seats in front of them. “No, not really,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m a changeling, infiltrating Canterlot!” “You’re not supposed to say it out loud!” Seaside hissed. “Heehee, sorry!” Rainbow said, covering her mouth. “I guess you and Ditto are team Earth Pony, then? He should probably get a hat to hide that horn of his. Or are you a sympathizer, or maybe a double agent for the unicorns?” “That would be telling,” Ditto said. Twilight blinked. “Team… huh? Wait – are we pretending we’re in the book?” “Pretending is for fillies,” Rainbow Dash said, waving a wing dismissively. “We’re role-playing.” “No, we’re really changelings,” Seaside said. “Right. Changelings,” Rainbow replied, nodding. “I mean, not changelings. Ordinary pegasi. Not spies or anything.” Seaside laughed. “Right.” “So you two can get us an audience with the Princess, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We’ve got some questions for her.” “I certainly hope so,” Twilight said, trying to think of whether having the real Rainbow Dash along would complicate things. Probably not by much; it’d be easy enough to distract her with the moon ponies and get time alone with Princess Luna. Assuming, of course, that this was the real Rainbow Dash, and not a changeling using reverse psychology to pass as her friend. “But not until after nightfall. Our first stop will be a safe-house – some sympathetic unicorns have a spare room we can use to lie low until it’s time.” “In the meantime, try to use the train ride to practice your disguises,” Ditto said. “Canterlot is the heart of the enemy’s anti-changeling oppression – you need to be the pony you’re disguised as. One slip up and all of us get a one-way ticket to the badlands.” “That means no going around saying ‘I’m a changeling’,” Twilight said. “Even if you’re pretending that you’re only pretending to be a changeling. Okay?” “Got it!” Rainbow Dash said, saluting. “Yes, ma’am,” Seaside said, with a smirk. Soon enough, the Friendship Express lurched into motion, and slowly pulled out of the station. Twilight watched out the window for Spike, or Rarity, or even maybe Applejack to show up to stop them, but for once nothing went wrong. When they were well underway, the conductor started heading down the aisle checking tickets. Twilight got hers out of her bags ahead of time, just in case. Ditto followed suit. Rainbow Dash and Seaside looked at them strangely. “You bought tickets?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Isn’t that cheating? I thought we were supposed to be spies.” “Yes, spies,” Twilight said. “The first rule of being a spy is ‘don’t arouse suspicion’.” “But you’re leaving a paper trail,” Seaside said. “At least tell me you bought those under a fake name.” “You didn’t buy tickets,” Ditto said, looking as flabbergasted as Twilight felt. Twilight glanced nervously as the conductor made his way closer – the mid-day run was pretty crowded, but they still didn’t have much time. “They’re going to throw you off the train!” she hissed. “They’ll have to catch us, first,” Rainbow Dash said, opening the window and letting in a blast of wet, freezing wind. “See you in Canterlot!” The conductor ran over as he spotted the two pegasi climbing out the window, and pushed past Twilight and Ditto to look for them. A pair of loud thumps on the roof of the passenger car revealed their plan soon enough. The conductor gave a long-suffering sigh, and muttered, “Blasted pegasi.” He shouted out the window, “No riding on the roof! There’s too many tunnels for train-surfing!” “Sorry, sir,” Twilight said, forcing herself to smile politely. “They’re playing at being changeling spies. I’m sure they’ll come back inside before we get to the mountains.” “Do they have tickets at least?” the conductor asked. Twilight’s mind went blank, but luckily Ditto took over. “Of course, I think they’re in this bag…” Ditto said, opening Twilight’s suitcase, which was packed full of everything anypony would need for a hiking trip in the mountains. “Oh for pony’s sake –“ Ditto said, “Can you guys help me look through all this junk?” “Um, okay,” Twilight said. She made a show of moving stuff around and looking underneath it, although she was pretty sure that while this might buy some time, it was not a long-term strategy for success. After all, the conductor had hours to check everypony’s tickets. After a few seconds, though, he was annoyed enough to lean in and lend a hoof. Ditto’s horn bumped against the conductor’s forehead, seemingly by accident, and briefly glowed green. The conductor’s eyes flashed the same color. Twilight looked around, but with the three of them bent down between the seats, nopony else had had a good view. “There, I knew they were in there,” Ditto said. “Right, everything’s in order,” the conductor said, in what to Twilight seemed like a slightly dazed voice. He looked up as the sound of hoofsteps echoed on the roof, as Rainbow and Seaside moved around. “Just make sure they’re back inside before we get to the mountains. We’re not responsible for idiots getting plastered against the mountainside when we go into a tunnel, but somepony’ll have to clean off the roof.” Once he’d moved on to the next car, Twilight hissed, “I can’t believe you did that.” “What else could I do?” Ditto replied as quietly as he could manage, barely audible over the noise of the train. “Besides, we’re already going to get thrown in the dungeon if we’re caught, I don’t see how this makes things any worse.” “Well now you deserve it,” Twilight hissed back, glowering. “You do worse all the time, whenever you need to,” Ditto replied. “Or want to.” “Okay, that’s it,” Twilight said, slamming her suitcase shut and struggling to refasten it. “I’m finding another seat. I don’t know you – any of you. Especially you, Rainbow Dash!” she shouted at the ceiling, although she still wasn’t sure if the ponies on the roof could hear her over the wind and other noise. “If you manage to get to Canterlot without being arrested or – or thrown off the train just meet me at 21964 Star Terrace Court. That’s on level 5. You can ask any guard for directions, it’s half their job.” “I know my way around Canterlot,” Ditto said. “Ask for directions anyway,” Twilight replied. She thumped the suitcase heavily with her forehooves, most of her weight behind them, and was finally rewarded with a faint ‘click’ as it latched closed. “Because that section of the city is really confusing for anypony who isn’t a native.” “I – right,” Ditto said. “We’ll ask for directions.” Twilight grabbed the suitcase in her teeth, and backed out into the aisle. “And if I don’t see any sign of you by nightfall,” she started, mumbling it slightly around the handle… then sighed, shoved the suitcase back under the seat, and sat back down. Ditto stared at her, confused. “Forget it, I’d rather know right away,” she said. She noticed that everypony in the seats around her was staring at them by this point. A mint green unicorn smiled back at her as Twilight’s gaze went past, and a blue-coated earth pony in the next seat over asked, “So are you all spies or something?” “No,” Twilight said, flattening her ears. “We’re role-players.” Ditto poked her. “Hey, stay in character!”