//------------------------------// // Chaotic Balance // Story: Humans Assemble! // by Mistershield //------------------------------// Chapter 59- Chaotic Balance “Alright Soma, do you remember all the rules of etiquette?” Rarity asked the soul hunter. Rarity and Fluttershy sat next to each other and in front of the teen. “Well, I think so. The speaking and body posture isn’t so different from Earth standards,” Soma blinked to tilt his head to the side. “But the... Oh hello Pinkie Pie. Dan and Nate are up to something?” All the ponies turned to smile at each other. “Howdy! Nate wanted some privacy, so I gave-” The Pink earth pony had to stop in her tracks and turn her neck. The puffy tail started to wag. Pinkie Pie immediately moved to duck her head under a table. “Pinkie Pie! Is your tail wagging?” Rarity asked to frown to lift her head and look around. “But we are inside a train!” “I dunno! My tail just started to wag!” Pinkie Pie turned her body around so she could peek her head out from the edge of the table. “Er- What is going on?” Soma asked to look around as well. First he looked up, and then to look at Fluttershy. She was concerned, least more so than usual. “Oh, well- If you noticed, we have powers. Pinkie Pie has a power that let’s her- Ahhh!” The pegasus found herself shaking as the whole train started to shake and rumble. Rarity fell forward a bit as Pinkie was rattled under the table. Soma moved both of his arms out to steady himself against the train window and the chair he was sitting on. Both of his eyes remained opened wide to look at the shaking ponies. “Is this an earthquake?” Soma shouted once the shaking stopped. “But that makes no sense! Pinkie’s tail wagged. So that means something should have fallen from the sky!” Rarity shouted as she moved herself to stand. “Soma! Dan’s down!” Nate shouted over from the other side. “Danny?!” Pinkie Pie moved her head from out of the table to look at Nate’s direction. “Did he hit himself?!” Soma moved to stand as well, only to find himself moving back against the chair as the train shook again. Once more the ponies shook along with the train. “What’s going on?!” Once the shaking started again, Nate moved both his arms out to grab Dan and threw them both to the floor. It was disorienting, but nothing Nate hadn’t done in the past before. Nate gritted his teeth, hunched over Dan to wait out the shaking. A bit of red blood started to spill on Dan’s head. Fluttershy hesitated a bit, waiting for the shaking to stop before turning to peek outside the window and look up. “Everypony! Something’s flying outside!” “What is it?” Soma asked, moving to peek out the window. He could spot something off the distance. Was it a bird? Whatever it was, it was turning back. “I think its a bird, but what could...” He frowned when he saw a lot more flying animals in the air follow the first one. “Oh, this better not be what I think it is.” While Soma and Fluttershy were looking out the window, Pinkie Pie rushed over with Rarity to Nate’s side as he got up. The treasure hunter frowned, moving Dan’s hands to let them rest at his side and then immediately start looking for any other signs of injuries. The smaller human had both eyes closed and was not moving. “Danny! Are you ok?” Pinkie moved her left hoof out to spot the blood. “What happened?!” “We were done talking when Dan moved to stand up so he could join you guys. Then the shaking started. He lost his balance and then hit his head on the side of the table.” Nate picked up his head to look over at the ponies and frown. “Everyone else is ok?” “We’re all fine Nathan,” Rarity said to calm down her partner. “Worry about Dan first!” “Here! Hold this down on his head,” Nate said to place a handkerchief over the spot on Dan’s bleeding. “It should-” Nate stopped to pick up his head to the side and frown. It was faint, but now that his adrenaline was kicking in he could hear it. Pinkie’s tail started to wag again. “Incoming!” Pinkie Pie shouted to move her hooves out to hug Dan’s head into her chest. The others braced for impact to wait out the shaking. “Those things in the air! They’re dropping bombs!” Soma shouted as he rushed over to the others. “I saw a bunch of them in the air. How’s Dan?!” “Damnit! I thought so,” Nate shouted to look back down at Dan. He wasn’t able to tell before, with the train making noises as it traveled. It wasn’t until his adrenaline and survival instincts kicked in that he could recognize was was going on. “I think he’s fine, still breathing at least.” No way would he do the ‘breath of life’ on Dan. “But I can’t tell just yet how bad he is. We need to keep the train going through!” “Are you nuts!? Dan needs a doctor! We need to stop and help him!” Pinkie Pie shouted and almost lashed out at Nate with her teeth. Her normally pink puffy mane narrowed and straightened itself out. “Wrong! We need to move faster!” Nate shouted to stand up. “But why? Wouldn’t it be better to heal Dan?” Rarity asked to look up at her partner. It looks like he was stepping up now that Dan was out. Fluttershy joined them by this point. Nate was about to speak when the door to the cabin was opened. “Is everypony alright!” The light blue conductor pony came through the doorway. He looked around. “We have an injury!” Pinkie Pie shouted, frowning at the conductor. “I will have the train stop-” “No!” Nate shouted, moving his right arm out to point at the conductor. “We need to get all the passengers to the front of the train and separate the rest!” “What in the name of Celestia is wrong with you?!” The Conductor said. “We got a few more injured that need medical help!” “Let the man talk!” Soma shouted, tired of letting the others take charge. “And what will-” The Conductor found himself with a face full of Death Scythe. “Oh, wow, that looks sharp...” “Alright, listen! We are shit out of luck if we stop and don’t speed up! We are in a training exercise! That’s the only thing keeping us alive!” Nathan shouted to bend down and pick up Dan into his arms. Pinkie Pie relaxed her frown, but started to cry a bit “Everybody to the front cars! Now!” “Get the luggage!” Rarity shouted to look at Soma and Fluttershy. “What? We don’t have time for makeup!” Soma said to follow after Nate. Soma took the rear, looking around one final time. “Soma, we need the Elements and your equipment!” “Rarity’s right!” Fluttershy stopped in her tracks. “We can’t leave those behind!” Soma sighed, but then nodded. Fluttershy moved to grab the Elements of Harmony from their luggage compartment while Soma moved to grab the briefcases Merchant had provided earlier. With any luck, they would be medical supplies in there. While those two stayed behind and look, the Conductor moved to open the pathway between the cars to lead to the next one. Luckily, there wasn't many ponies traveling to Baltimare. Just a few vacationers since Baltimare had no major events going. “Alright everypony! I’ve been instructed to move us all to the front cars!” “But why?” “After all that shaking?” “What about the injured?” “SHUT UP!” Nate looked down at Pinkie Pie, eyes opened wide in shock at her outburst. She looked ready to stab a pony. To think he was going to use a gun and shoot it into the air. “Tell them Nate!” Rarity said, urging an explanation to calm down Pinkie Pie. “Alright, listen up! That shaking before was from target practice! Changelings are dropping bombs on us!” Nate said in his best loud voice that wasn't shouting. No need to to add to things. “Changelings?!” A few murmurs spread amongst the ponies. “But why do you-” The Conductor found himself going quite as Pinkie Pie gritted her teeth and started to foam at the mouth. Her Danny was in danger and changelings were to blame. Now was not the time to mess with her. “Because, if this were a real attack, we’d be dead...” Nate said to narrow his eyes and look at them all. “They wouldn’t be using just a few bombs, they could’ve placed bombs on the rails and thrown us off course. They could’ve dropped a whole damn salvo of bombs on us and finished us off!” Nate looked down at Dan and frowned. The smallest adult weighed almost nothing in his hands. How could he fit all that rage inside? “The fact that so many of them are in the air mean they are studying how the bombs fall and also practicing on a moving target.” “Then if we stopped the train....” “We’d be sitting ducks...” Rarity finished for the Conductor. “I see, you’re right sir. We need to make this train go faster! They can’t hit a target faster than them! Everypony, start moving! Leave your luggage behind unless you’re a doctor!” The Conductor lead the other ponies away. “Shouldn’t we contact the others?” Pinkie Pie asked, her voice soft now. She calmed down a bit, realizing why Nate was urging the others. “You know... On them earpiece things?” “Later, once we’re moving. I’m only taking a guess, but I’m pretty sure I’m right about my assessment. Dan should be okay, he only hit the side of his head,” Nate said to smile and Pinkie. Soma and Fluttershy came out behind them to look around. “What’s the plan Nate?” Soma asked. “Alright. Fluttershy... You take care of animals, right?” Nate asked with an eye closed. While he had been taking notes on the humans, the other ponies that were not Rarity- Not so much. She nodded. “Good. You have to help any injured ponies. Once we get the cars separated, you can look to see what Merchant gave us.” “OK!” Fluttershy nodded, her eyes narrowed a bit. Now that she knew changelings were involved, she was more angry than afraid. First the manticore, now this? Oh, she would give them such a stare! “I want to help!” Pinkie Pie said to lift her head. “I can tell when a bomb is falling!” “Good. I want you to stay with the other ponies, warn them so they can brace themselves and protect the injured. Soma- You gotta get up on the train and divert the bombs anyway you can. I gotta separate the cars. By then hopefully we can look over Dan and he can get a plan going,” Nate said to place Dan on Rarity’s back. “You heard Nathan! Let’s move!” ______________________________________ “Underground...” Princess Celestia frown, sitting on her throne. One by one, royal paperwork forms were lifted to her face and then signed by a quill levitated by her magic. Thanks to the shenanigans of Johnny Bravo, some things had been pushed back. “There. We must gather the others to discuss the news.” The white alicorn smiled, glad she could talk with the others again. Since it was a matter of national security, she could left off the hook now and then. “Indeed. To believe the Changelings hid in the spot we could not spot nor even think to look... In hindsight, such thought should have been the first logical place to search for them.” Princess Luna frown, lowering her head a bit. “Yeah, it was kinda obvious, but its not your fault,” Travis said to move out his hand and pet Luna’s mane. “Armor there was getting married, and you were all looking for a bad guy you had no idea existed. This is all Celestia’s fault.” “Travis!” Luna said, her head immediately raised up to frown at him. “No, Travis Touchdown is correct. Instead of letting a professional wedding planner help with our niece and nephew, I had to get involved. I thought that Canterlot was the most secure place to have the wedding. But instead, I placed the Elements of Harmony and its bearers in danger,” Princess Celestia said to frown and look at her head. “In fact, I think I was also distracted because Cadence found her special somepony, and I was left alone. I worried everypony over a hunch, one I should’ve looked into more personally.” “Really? I was going to say this was all your fault because you’re an idiot.” “Travis!” Both Luna and Celestia gaped their mouths at him. Even the palace guard frowned, unable to move against the personal knight of one of the princess. There was also that whole “no human would be held accountable to Equestrian law” edict. “What? You mean I’m wrong?” Travis moved to walk over to one of the guards and bend down a bit to look at him. “Look, I’m not being a jerk. Let me ask you a question...” The guard looked left and right a bit, sweating as he was place on the spot. “Alright?” The white pegasus said. “Now, she’s your a ruler and all, so you got all this stuff in your head- But I don’t care. Here’s my question: What kind of ruler has someone else solve their problems?” Travis moved his right arm around the neck of the pegasus. “I’m sorry?” The guard asked, lifting his eyebrows. He turned to look at his Princess, wondering if it was alright to answer. Princess Celestia lowered her head to shut both her eyes. Luna blinked once, tilting her head to the side. To her, it made sense to hire others if their specialty was needed. Wait a moment... “We know nothing about the summon spell-” “Because it was never used before,” Celestia answered. “Travis speaks the truth. I first used the spell as a little filly to first meet with the Doctor. Until then, no one had used the spell because it was seen as a sign of weakness. To this point, there has never been a problem that as a ruler or our nation could not solve on our own.” “But that does not make my sister stupid...” “But using a spell no one knows about isn’t?” Travis asked to take his arm back from the guard. “Look, I’ve been holding back all this time for Luna’s sake. You have no idea how much I’ve been holding back,” Travis said to lift his head up to look at Celestia. “The more I live and learn about this place, the more I hate it. In your own little perfect little world, aren’t you? Can’t get your own little hooves dirty?” Travis felt like he was going to wig out. Seeing Vergil was a reminder of what his life was supposed to be like. Not take shit. Fight and earn. Live. While his old life was a trapped paradise, this place had the struggle of life taken out. No TV or even decent music. Fast food and meat. His skills for combat were being wasted, and being waited on by servants was unnerving. When was the last time he got to see a hot chick that wasn’t Luna? How long has it been? Four days? God, if he only had a damned hot dog. He missed meat so much he would eat at an Arby’s. If he was feeling like this, how bad were the other humans? All they needed was one match for this powder keg. “Travis?” Luna stepped out a bit to look at his face. “The worst thing about this?” Travis added, turning to look at Luna. “You are the one that’s gonna get hurt when this is all said and done...” “Enough, we can speak about my failings afterwards. Now about the news-” “Princess Celestia! It’s Prince Blueblood!” A guard rushed in to look around, spotting the human and Luna. He bowed to them and then turn to look at the white alicorn. “Our nephew? What is it?!” Celestia asked to pick up her head. “He’s not a total tool! He’s actually cool!” Travis slapped his forehead. He turned to look at Luna, moving both arms out as it to say “See? This is what I’m talking about.” Luna also had an eyebrow raised. “You broke in to tell me this, why?” Princess Celestia said to stand and walk down the steps. “Well... Just look outside the gates.” They all walked out to look over at a window to look outside. Travis moved to cross both arms on his chest, head tilted to the side. Celestia had her eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand what she was looking at. Luna had her eyebrows raised, but slowly begun to lift her head up and down to the rhythm. Prince Blueblood was leading a parade of marching ponies on their hindlegs. They all had their forehooves up on top of each other, marching forward to the music. “I’m a guy- A guy who is warm as you’re in the day. A guy who one-shots his coffee Before it even cools down. A guy whose heart beat when night comes. That kind of guy!” “Sorta reminds me of the Grand Galloping Gala...” Celestia said after a second. Amazing how just one song could move all of her subjects into song and dance. It was weird watching the high class ponies dressed in vests, ties, and dresses dance like that. “Beautiful! Loveable! Yes you!” “Hey!” The other sang out. “Yes you!” “Hey!” They all joined in “Now lets go till the end!” “Isn’t that the guards?” Travis asked, lifting his eyebrows at the guards that were supposed to be on duty join in. He opened his mouth when he saw that Vergil, Armor, Cadence, Terra, Jack, Spike, and now Luna was joining in. “Do we join them?” Celestia asked. “And why is Vergil Sparda there?” “If you’re gonna be called an idiot, may as well do something stupid. Song’s gotta end sometime...” Travis needed something to let loose- So why not? Least Johnny was in there too. “I think its Johnny Bravo. He’s an idiot, flirtatious, self serving guy. But is that a bad thing? He reminds me of Nate in a way...” Travis grinned, glad Johnny was here. Least someone on this team was an innocent- Johnny Bravo has never taken the life of anyone. Both Johnny and Nate loved living in the moment. ____________________________________ “I want you to stay still...” The voice of Spy said. He was invisible, slowly getting behind his teammates at the corral fence. “Pretend you are talking to each other.” “Did you find something out, Spy?” Sephiroth asked to look at Phoenix and blink. The former lawyer had to cough once, amazed how the half angel immediately reacted to Spy’s advice. Phoenix himself had to fight hard not to jump out in surprise when Spy started to talk. “Not yet. I was waiting to see if the ponies reacted to the smoke and fire. I was thinking they would have a sense of smell better than a human,” Spy said. The invisible human looked at Ralf, who was distracted by the pig wrestling. “Either they are too wrapped up in the rodeo, or its nothing to worry about. Many contestants are cooks...” “You may have a point...” Phoenix said to take off his hat and fan himself, trying to look as if he was having fun. “Its doesn’t look like the ponies are reacting. Is there anyone even still in town?” “I know not; I was about to start ze investigating with Lyra... Do we investigate ze source of smoke?” Spy asked. Phoenix took a moment to put his hat back on to think. “No.. Have Lyra cast the spell. Its just a suppression spell. If there are no changelings here, then it means that the changelings are the cause of the fire. If the changelings are here, then it must mean the fire is most likely not them.” “It is our best chance to scan the town with so many here,” Sephiroth added. “But can Lady Lyra cast the spell properly? I recall her mentioning she had not much magic power.” “About that. Ze reason she asked me to come now instead of after ze search... She asks for a favor from her knight, for there is a way to power up an unicorn. Also, it will serve as a distraction from her magic.” Spy took a moment to sign and be glad he was invisible. “Take off your shirt.” “What?” Sephiroth nevertheless moved both hands to his already opened shirt and lower it down around his waist. His blackwing free, it spread out and flared a bit out before settling back behind himself. “I do not understand.” “I think I’m beginning to see the point,” Phoenix said to shut both eyes. Slowly, spectators begun to look away from the mud wrestling to look at Sephiroth’s topless form. “What’s going on over there?” Gilda asked to look over at the humans. Her eyebrows raised up when Sephiroth’s one wing flared out. Her own wings raised up in response. Lyra stuck out her tongue and close her eyes a bit, looking at how Sephiroth stripped. “I hear heavy breathing and heartbeats picking up all around me,” Toph said to lift her eyebrows. What was going on? “You’re lucky you’re blind Toph,” Rainbow Dash said to raise a hoof to cover Little Strongheart’s smaller eyes. The little buffalo raised her eyebrows, not sure what was going on. Cherilee raised her eyebrows, confused by what the others were looking at. The sexy one was in the mud, getting himself dirty... “Pardonnez-moi.” Spy then moved over to grab the hold of Sephiroth’s belt buckle to let it loose and then begin to “no pants” the Cetra. The long haired bladesman blinked once, feeling a sudden draft. It was nice though, with all of the heat and him wearing black pants, it was very liberating experience. A loud gasp was heard, and the corral was suddenly joined in by many others. “A unicorn’s magic can peak with emotional or other stimuli.” Phoenix said to shut both eyes and rubs his eyelids with the fingers of his left hand. He remembered learning that when he was with Twilight. The entire would be arena was silent, even the competitors in the mud pit. Lyra’s horn suddenly flared up, glowing with a light green intensity. A few other horns also started to shine, with the sounds of wings flaring up. “Dude! You’re naked!” Ralf shouted, lifting his right hand to point at Sephiroth. He was quickly tackled by the female griffon he was competing against to get a better look at the silver haired fellow. “Oww... Hey, its the pig,” Ralf muttered as he hit the muddy floor. It looks like even the pig was taken in by the naked fellow. The soldier moved his right hand out to grasp the pig from its rear left leg to hoist it out. “Was this necessary?” Sephiroth asked to look over at Phoenix. While he should be feeling shame, Sephiroth was a fellow beyond sexual urges now. Or even other emotions. Lyra stared openly now, while the other ponies from Team Appleloosa averted their eyes. “Why aren’t you wearing underwear?!” Vash shouted, moving his metal hand to try and pluck his eyes out. Braeburn turned to look at Vash. Well, that settled it. Vash may not be gay, but a lot of the others in the arena really were... “Hey- I won!” Ralf shouted to stand up. The pig he had had heart shaped eyes. “And no one is paying attention...” “I protest!” Gale shouted, one of the few still paying attention to the actual competition. He did stare at the naked human a bit, more in morbid curiosity since Sephiroth only had one wing. “Sorry partner, its not against the rules...” Braeburn said to look at the griffon. But he wondered why exactly Sephiroth got naked. “Here it comes!” Lyra shouted, shutting her eyes to unleash the spell. A ring of pastel green emitted from her horn to spread along the arena. Lyra fell backward, her mouth open as sparks slowly spitted out from her horn and relaxed. The ring spread forth quickly, brushing over the creatures gathered. The donkeys that turned into changelings didn’t even notice, still looking at the naked fellow. Even the minotaurs looked at Sephiroth, blinking a few times. While they were mostly naked save western apparel, their genitals were not exposed like that. And its not like being naked was a crime, especially from almost naked animals. “Can I get dressed now?” Sephiroth asked to look around. He stopped though, lifting his eyebrows at the spot the donkeys should be. These creatures. Were they changelings? They were like insect like ponies. “Changelings!” He shouted. “We surrender!” Tumbler quickly stood up, lifting his hooves up. “Just stop pointing that thing at us!” “That was anti-climatic,” Cheerilee said. “No one is cheering for Ralf!” “Sephiroth put your pants back on!” Phoenix shouted. It looks like nothing was going to happen until Sephiroth got dressed. “Why am I going to think that we are going to get angry letters from parents once they get a hold of their senses?” “Actually... I think I like it better this way,” Sephiroth said to take a few steps in his nearly naked form. “That’s an order!” Phoenix finally commanded. Sephiroth nodded, then moved to bend down to pick up his pants up. Ralf and Vash had to fight back from vomiting at the moon. As soon that the Cetra was dressed, Braeburn walked in to look around at the arena as creatures started to snap out of it. “Ralf Jones wins! And the human team takes the first victory!” “Hax!” Gale shouted. “I meant hex! I call hex!” A lot of creatures blushed, trying to look away. Pegasi with wings flaring out had a lot of upset partners, lots of creatures started to cheer for Sephiroth to take it off again. But for the most part, the creatures gathered started to look over at the changelings. “What is that thing?” “Where are the donkeys?” “I missed something?” “You’re under arrest!” Sheriff Silver Star said, lifting a hoof up to point at the changelings. The sheriff blushed and tried his best not to look at Sephiroth. “Phoenix! Your show now!” “Is it safe?” Phoenix asked, taking a second to peek around. “Sephiroth, off with the horns.” “By your command,” Sephiroth said. He moved to take his long sword to swipe the horn’s of the changelings with one swipe. “Phoenix!” Spy rushed back, visible now. “That smoke stack was just buffaloes setting up a shop!” “Smoke signals?” Phoenix asked to look as the Sheriff placed the hornless changelings in ropes. _______________________________________ “Number One? What are we going to do with her?” Kuki asked to look up at Diamond Tiara. The little filly was hanging upside down, her leg caught in a snare trap to hold her swaying back and forth. All of the other KND and their pony partners had also arrived by this point. Although fillies and colts were faster than human children, they were no match for the highly trained KND. “Arrr! I say we make her walk de plank!” Pipsqueak shouted out. He smiled, as his partner had been the one to catch her. Abigail was smart enough to head the filly off at the school and set the trap. “I say we let Abby decide, she caught her...” Hoagie said to smile. He and her partner were covered in scorched black marks, they crashed the BOOSTBIKE against a tree as the engine exploded into flames. Applebloom simply squeed, learning a lot from Hoagie’s engineering skills. “Let’s shave her bald!” Sweetie Bell said, making Nigel lower his shades and look at his partner. “Now now, we are not here to punish children for no reason! That would make no better than adults, as we’re not bullies. You, Ms. Tiara. Why were you away from your post?” Number One asked. “I have to get this story out!” Tiara shouted, spinning around once from the rope. “You mean this one?” Scootaloo said to hold the paper up. Wally leaned in to look down at the sheet and start reading along her. Both of their eyeballs moved from side to side as their mouths slowly opened up. “Well, what is it?” Rumble asked to frown. He flew up into the air and hover behind the two to start reading out loud. News Flash from Gabby Gums! I realize that before that all I spread was gossip! But now I must tell the truth! The humans are lying to Equestria! They are not heroes! Phoenix Wright saved Rainbow Dash, but did you know he was convicted of faking evidence? Does that mean Rainbow Dash is guilty of murder?! Dan Mandel is a horrible jerk! He was the one that started the fire in Ponyville and also tried to steal candy from fillies on Nightmare Night! Dovahkiin is a thief! And not just any thief, the leader of thieves! He’s guilty of blackmail- Whatever that is, of stealing, and even extortion! Its all his fault that Dragon also attacked Ponyville! Otacon is helping the changelings! He lead the attack on Ponyville a few days ago! Nathan Drake is a tomb raider! He’s also killed tons of other humans trying to steal what he was stealing! Soma is accused of stealing souls! He even roughed up Dr. Stables and threatened to kill him! Sephiroth is an eco-terrorist! He wanted to kill all humans, along with everypony else in his planet! Solid Snake is a smoker! Oh, and a man that killed his own brother and father! Travis Touchdown is an assassin! He’s killed all in the name to be the top assassin in the world! (For you ponies that never heard the word: Assassin: Noun- One who murders by surprise attack, especially one who carries out a plot to kill a prominent person.) Ralf Jones is a mercenary soldier- He’s killed for money! Blue Spy? Is that even his name? Why does he wear a mask? Sokka tried to kill a little colt to eat it! Ash Williams has killed his special somepony! Merchant is a salesman of death! He sells nothing but weapons that hurt ponies! Samus is a bounty hunter- But always brings them in dead! Vergil Sparda is a demon! A real life demon that almost killed his pony partner! Terra Branford has used her magic to kill those that opposed the empire she works for! Johnny Bravo is the enemy of women! There is not a female of any specie he won't date or flirt with! And that’s not all! All the humans are meat eaters! They all have power to rival our Princess Celestia, threatening to take her life! Rumble stopped reading to lift his head to look around. He didn’t want to read anymore. Scootaloo lowered the paper from her hooves as Wally sunk to his knees. “I mean, I was afraid of Dovahkiin for a reason... He’s a filthy cruddy thief!” Wally shouted and frown. “My gosh. Are any of the adult humans innocent?” Hoagie said to look down at Applebloom. “I- I,” Applebloom found her voice escaping her. Her sister was dating Dovahkiin! “To think I liked Nate,” Sweetie Bell said to lower her head. “I hate to ask this, but is there more?” Nigel asked to walk over to Rumble. “Get Tiara down.” Abigail nodded, moving to get the rich filly down. “Is any of this true?” Pipsqueak asked, dropping his pirate accent. For some reason, he didn’t want to play pirate anymore. “But we’re Gabby Gums!” Scootaloo said. “We didn’t write this!” “I know that!” Diamond Tiara said to frown. “Its why I wanted to print this in secret and try to talk to my dad first!” “Then who wrote this?” Kuki said to walk over and turn the paper over to read. “There’s more!” And that’s not all! Princess Celestia tried to have Nathan Drake killed! The spell casted to bring them here was Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna! They brought these terrible humans instead of heroes- And even against their will! They were never asked to help! And the humans summoned are all.... Kuki stopped reading to lift her head up to look at her friends with her eyes tearing up. “What is it Kuki!” Wally said, moving to stand up. “Are all dead...” “No! No way!” Wally shouted, moving his hands to hold Kuki by her shoulders. “Are we dead too?” “That voice in our heads told us not to trust the adults,” Abigail said to cross her arms on her chest. “Princess Celestia... Would never order to have a pony or human killed... Would she?” Kuki asked Rumble. The little pegasus shook his head to the sides, but he looked confused. “I don’t think so...” “Alright. Let’s move!” Number One said to start marching. “And do what?” Hoagie asked. “We are getting this thing printed!” ____________________________________ A gray unicorn slowly walked out of the library wing of Star Swirl. He wore the cape and hat that once belonged to the legendary wizard. His mane was combed back, the color of dark gray. He had one golden eye, while his other one was a red dot. While his beard was more of a goatee, it gave the unicorn an aged look. “Where is everypony?” Distant Star asked to look around. “Aren’t there supposed to be guards posted in this restricted section? Bah. Better find the Doctor and Snape. Help Me if they did something stupid like tell the truth.” The unicorn sniffed the air, eyes closed a little. How strange his senses changed between his old form and this one. “You there? Who are you?” A guard finally trotted up to look at the unicorn. “Why are you-” “Oh do shut up. Tell Celestia that Disc- Distant Star has returned.” “Who?” “I’m the son of Star Swirl! Celestia left me at the altar?! Its in history books damnit!” Bonus: Next time never, on the non-existent next episode of Humans Assemble! Suspense! “Choose now, Nathan Drake! Your Ring, or Rarity!” Spy shouted to hold his Enforcer pointed at the right side of Rarity’s head. His other arm was wrapped around her neck top hoist her up. “Let her go, damn you!” Nate shouted. His right hand held on to his necklace, while his other hand had his pistol pointed at Spy’s face. The despair on Nathan’s face was not apparent, for rage was the only thing seen. “Nathan! Keep the ring, its fabulous!” Action! “In the land of No More Heroes, I am, The Red Ranger!” Travis said as he held out his sword to strike a pose. “The one man army, I am, The Green Ranger!” Ralf said to spin his ;left arm in a circle at his shoulder to then take a pose next to Travis. “When daisies are in danger- The Yellow Ranger appears!” Junebug said to jump out next to Ralf. “Protector of the Crystal Kingdom, I am, The Pink Ranger!” Princess Cadence jumped out to the other side of Travis on her hind legs. “Nope, not doing it...” Vergil said to frown. “But we need the Blue Ranger, damnit!” Travis frowned. “Please?” Junebug and Cadence asked with big round puppy eyes. “... Stop looking at me like that! Fine! I’m the son of the Devil Hero- The Blue Ranger!” Vergil shouted to take a pose. “And in the name of the Moon, we will punish you!” Travis said as he took a Sailor Moon pose. Romance! “Sokka... You made this muffin for me?” Derpy asked, her cheeks red to look at the tray the southern water tribe warrior had in his hands. “Umm, you told me to make it...” Sokka said to close his eyes and sweatdrop. Excitement! “Get down!” Sephiroth shouted to launch himself to cover Lyra and send her to the floor. Just overhead, Vash had fired off his Angel Arm. Lyra had her eyes shut tight as the laser canon was shot over their heads. Mystery! “But if you didn’t tip off them off, who did?” Twilight Sparkle asked out loud to look up at Otacon. “I don’t know, but this means we have a mole...” Otacon said to look around inside the shadowy room they were in. “How did they even find out we were planning a surprise party for Tom the Rock?!” Pinkie Pie added. Comedy! “Come back here you!” Applejack shouted to chase down after Prince Blueblood and Solid Snake. Both jumped over a fence. “Why did we have to steal Granny Smith’s panties?!” Blueblood shouted. “Wait, wasn’t this your idea?!” Snake shouted as he waved the giant old fashioned granny panties on his head. More Excitement! “Get down again!” Sephiroth ducked down again as the Kids Next Door fired off gumballs and mustard in the shootout they had against Vash. Martial Arts! “There’s no way you can take me on, you samurai wannabe! I’ve been train by my master in the deadly art of Ka-Ra-Te!” Johnny Bravo said to circle around his opponent. “Give it up Johnny, no way you can beat me!” Spike said, circling around the blonde. The dragon was wearing a white robe and a woven hat on his head. “Ten Bits on Johnny,” Samurai Jack turned to look at Blueblood. Adventure! “Come on Discord, where’s your sense of discovery?!” The Doctor shouted as they flew with the Tardis’s front door open through time and space. “I think he threw it up as we passed Egypt,” Snape shouted to hold Discord up. The draconequus had his face green as his cheeks puffed out. Explosions! “My infinite rocket launcher is not for sale!” Merchant shouted to kick back Rumble and Pipsqueak. “Yar! Pirates need explosions, AND CANONS!” Bromance! “Looks like this is it!” Shining Armor said to move his right forehoof to wipe the sweat from his brow and grin. “I never thought you would be the one to help a bro out.” “If this is my last moment, I’m glad it was with you man,” Johnny Bravo said to nod. “Lets do this!” “By the power invested in me as the Mayor of Ponyville, I now pronounce you Johnny and Shining! Now, kiss...” Thrills! “I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have many Bits. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Little Dashie go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hurt you,” Phoenix said in a low voice into the Octo-phone. “GOOD LUCK!” A voice said in a dragon shout. Capers! “Okay Hoagie, this plan of yours better work!” Trixie said as she was lowered down the rope slowly. “Trust me, Donut Joe and me have this rope, you just get the Crystal Heart!” Hoagie said as the rope lowered Trixie. “Zecora got the getaway car running!” “Cooking Mama, did you crack the security alarm?” Donut Joe whispered. Cooking Mama was now dressed in black latex suit and hunched down on a laptop. “No, but Mama got a new high score on Bejeweled!” Drama! “No! I am not letting you sing up there in front of all of those ponies!” Princess Celestia shouted at Princess Luna. “But Sister! This is my dream!” Luna cried into a pillow. “But dressed as a maid?!” Teen Drama! “Places everyone, its the last day for the school assembly!” Cherilee shouted in her megaphone. “Where’s my make-up!” Shouted Wally as he ran around wearing a yellow sundress. “I ain’t singing without make-up!” “Why is Wally playing the lead heroine role?” Kuki asked, dressed as a tree. “Better yet, why is Soma playing the lead male?” Abigail asked with a rebuttal. “As soon as we spill the pig manure, we will ruin the school music program and let the school gym program rule!” Scootaloo whispered to Terra. “I should’ve been the lead male role...” Terra seethed. “But- How will I handle all this teen angst drama?” Soma said to lean against a school locker. “How am I supposed to confess to Sokka since he already has Suki?” Toph sat down on the school steps. “Once I get rid of the lead female role- Soma will LOVE ME!” Fluttershy shouted. Sex! “Well you see kids, I’m a girl because I have breasts...” Samus spoke to look down at the Crusaders. “And I’m a boy because I have a penis,” Ash said to nod. “Where?” The Crusaders all asked together.