//------------------------------// // Chapter Two Part Eight // Story: Migraines // by SwiperTheFox //------------------------------// In a few minutes, Raspberry came to. He had been picked up and placed on a couch with a thick, heavy blanket on him. He muttered something. A large stallion with a slick black mane and a brownish grey body stepped out in front of him. The stallion also wore a very smart looking tie along with the top section of a suit. “I suppose I should be glad that, if you’re going to be a burglar, you’re going to do it well dressed,” the stallion said. Raspberry moved himself over and sat up straight on the couch. He eyed the stallion’s cutie mark— a batch of three bags with big dollar signs. “Thanks,” Raspberry said. He felt relieved that the stallion looked one part annoyed and four parts bemused. “The only problem with that is— I’m not a burglar.” “Interesting,” the stallion said, “But that’s a little hard to believe when you barge right into my home without so much as an appointment.” “But— but— but— but—” Raspberry stammered, “The door and window was open.” “Really, I hardly believe that,” the stallion replied. He leaned back and said something to a gigantic dark gray colt beside him. The colt made a salute, stepped away, and then stepped right back. He shook his head ‘yes’. “See what I mean,” Raspberry said, “Mister… mister…” “Filthy Rich,” the stallion replied, “Please call me Mr. Rich.” Raspberry shook hooves and smiled. Rich smiled back at him. Rich then leaned back over and screamed angrily at the colt. The colt seemed to shrivel a few inches. “Rich, reminds me of Charlie Rich,” Raspberry said, “Oh, I’m Raspberry, Raspberry Star.” Rich’s associate walked away and didn’t return. Rich leaned over— wheels apparently turning in his mind. “Charlie Rich?” he asked. “The country singer. He was really big post World War II, around as big as Elvis. Similar kind of voice too, except that Elvis ended up having a much bigger legacy. Nowadays, you wouldn’t know Rich unless you were really into that era’s songs,” Raspberry answered, and then he stopped himself from rambling on. “Elvis was… who exactly?” Rich asked. “Elvis was…” Raspberry said, and then he paused, “Well, look, if we get started down this road, I’ll be here for weeks.” Rich cracked a big smile. “You’re a musician as well as a businessman? And you’re ethically challenged enough to engage in minor breaking and entering to get an audience— instead of waiting days and days for an appointment, well,” Rich said, “You’re a rat after my own heart then, I must confess.” “Look, let’s start over,” Raspberry said. “No problem,” Rich said, “Now then, what can I do for you?” He took a seat besides Raspberry. Raspberry shared his story with Filthy Rich. He skipped over everything before he woke up at the hospital, but— otherwise— he spared little detail. Rich slapped his knee when Raspberry brought up Diamond Tiara. “Haha, Granny Smith ledge, again,” Rich remarked, smiling widely, “That little rascal. I’d think that she’d be well tired of that by now, seriously.” “It’s not very funny,” Raspberry replied. He talked for a little while longer. The dark gray colt walked in and served them both teas. “Miss Tiara,” Rich said, “Well, she left us many heirlooms. None of which we’d be willing to part with.” “Never,” Raspberry said, “Really, never ever? Even if it was just being borrowed? Just so I could examine it and use it? It would hardly be for that long.” “And… ‘use’ it,” Rich repeated, “Look, you should have seen my father’s face when she passed away. And how he delicately and carefully cleaned everything, arranged everything. Goodness, he’d probably be spinning in his grave to even think of having us part with Tiara’s things.” “I seriously need help,” Raspberry protested. “I understand, but you must understand that you have one…” Rich said, and he searched for the right word, “One… ‘remarkable’ story.” “It often is the longest and least believable stories that are the truest,” Raspberry remarked. Rich waved his right hoof in the air— acknowledging Raspberry’s point without saying a word. “Look, put yourself in my position,” he said, “Train monsters? A stallion giving… ‘birth’? And for Pete’s sake, you said that you didn’t even know what the jewels even look like!” “I… didn’t know…” Raspberry muttered. He thought back, and then he realized something had drastically changed. “But… but I know. I know now. I KNOW.” He jumped up and stood on his hind hooves. “I KNOW! I REMEMBER! I CAN REMEMBER!” He grabbed Rich and shook him. Raspberry made the biggest smile that could possibly be made. He hopped backwards and danced a little jig. “That’s, uh,” Rich replied, “Nice. I suppose.” He took some more sips of tea. “Raspberry, in all honesty, I think Doctor Missingname put you up to this.” “What,” Raspberry said. “Because I showed the good Doctor the door immediately— after he assaulted me with his technobabble,” Rich went on, “I wouldn’t put it past him for him to send an… ‘acolyte’, shall we say, to needle more funding out of me. Not to mention getting his grubby hooves all over Tiara’s old things. But the answer is ‘no’. It’s always been ‘no’.” “I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Raspberry said, “And you know, what, I don’t care. I remember!” “Remember what?” Rich asked, getting a bit irritated. Raspberry looked out and spotted a desk with stationary. He threw himself over and immediately began drawing. He picked up the paper and thrust it in front of Rich. “I know,” he declared, “What the jewels look like. All of them. All four. Not three. Nuh, huh. Four. After I compressed the hyperspace, the pieces formed into this huge chunk. But it was unstable. And it ruptured into these four pieces. I kept one piece for myself. But the company was fine with the other three. They only really needed one— or so they THOUGHT!” Rich picked up the paper and eyed it all over. “I get the feeling that I won’t like where this is going,” he muttered. Raspberry paced the floor in the middle of the room. “I guess it was just… It was the bonk on the head just now,” Raspberry said, “Damn. It’s just like something out of ‘All My Children’ or something… so stupid. But it worked. It worked! I guess I have you to thank for that grievous bodily injury, Mr. Rich.” “It was Deep over there,” Rich replied, guesting over at the dark grey colt in the kitchen, “Deep Six.” “Thanks!” Raspberry yelled. Deep Six nodded back at him. “I really won’t like where this is going,” Rich repeated, “And it will start just as soon as she—” A sunny sing-song voice appeared, and then a tall light grey mare trotted into the living room. “Oh, BINGO!” The mare looked over— confused. “Like clockwork, my dear. Good or bad, you’re always just in time at the exact moment, like clockwork.” Raspberry had no idea what Rich was going on about. He got up and walked over besides the mare. She wore a frilly white sash that went well with her large necklace and long, flowing light blue hair. He glanced down at her cutie mark— scissors and a set of combs. “Raspberry Star,” he said, “Nice to meet you.” “Silky Smooth,” she replied, “Charmed.” Raspberry reached down and kissed her hoof. She smiled and giggled a bit. “Goodness, Rich, why didn’t you let you let your dear sister-in-law know that we had company?” Sliky asked. Raspberry heard Rich said something back, but he had already zoned out. He gazed at her necklace. It didn’t just look supremely pretty on her. It also featured a very unique looking jewel. It shone with a very light sky blue across its numerous, jagged edges. It seemed less like a jewel and more like some combination of diamond, glass, and chalk. The reflective layers stacked on top of each other like patties in a cheeseburger. It looked so familiar. Yet somehow something seemed off about the whole gem. “My, aren’t we in a friendly mood?” she asked. Raspberry realized that he had moved in just inches above her skin. He blushed and then slowly edged away. He breathed in her sharp blueberry perfume. Raspberry looked at Rich. The stallion tapped his hooves on his head impatiently. Raspberry shrugged back, and then he glanced back over at Silky Smooth. Smooth is right… yowza… She’s a total angel. Rich couldn’t take it anymore. “Well?” he asked. “Well, what?” Raspberry asked back. “You know,” Rich said, “I was almost expecting you to just grab the necklace off of her and run. You’d use your magic or something. Then, out the door.” Raspberry threw his head back and laughed. He said, “Seriously… you think I’d be that stupid? When, a, you’re influential enough to make my life worse than death when I leave that door, and— more importantly— b, it’s an obvious fake of the real thing? Do I look that dim? I’m offended.” Rich smiled back and handed Raspberry a cup of tea. “Alright, alright,” Rich said, “I’m about nine-tenths of the way there. But I need proof. Serious proof. Prove to me that these inter-dimensional boogeymares are after you.” “I suppose that you could,” Raspberry said, “Feast your eyes on my walking, talking…” He reached into his pocket and found nothing. “Oh… damn.” You left it— left him— left Wesker— whatever the hell you want to call it— It’s not here! Twist has him, remember! “Umm…” He fumbled through his other things. Bits, the guidebook, the letter from Knack, the sonic thing… HEY! The sonic thing! “I’ve got this!” Rich eyed the little black device. “What does it do, again?” he inquired. “What doesn’t it do,” Raspberry muttered back. He then pressed buttons at randomly. Nothing seemed to happen. He kept on. Occasionally, the device lit up. Yet nothing else happened. Raspberry took a deep breath. “Okay, then, maybe if I press… all of the buttons at once?” “Visual to sonic energy transfer initializing,” the device whispered in a tinny voice. “Well, that’s… interesting…” Rich muttered. Silky moved over besides the stallions. “Preparing to fire in... 5… 4…” the device counted down. The horses panicked. They shouted pointlessly at each other. “3… 2…” Silky had the idea to throw it into the sink, which she did. “1… Run…” All of the light inside the house seemed to disappear. A loud bang and a cloud of white mist erupted over the sink. “That had,” Silky said, “Oh dear, I hope it didn’t ruin the new cabinets.” She trotted over. “Oh, no worries then. As harmless as a firework, I think. I guess. Lots of dust around, though…” Rich stared straight at Raspberry. The purple stallion felt as if he had shrunk into foal size. “Get. Out,” Rich said flatly. “No, no hard feelings, right?” Raspberry asked. Rich wordlessly picked up the sonic device from Silky, and then Rich threw it at Raspberry’s side. “I don’t have hard feelings,” Rich replied, “I just say ‘goodbye’.” Raspberry put the device back in his other pocket, and he nodded. He trotted himself out the front door. Silky smiled and waved. Raspberry did the same back, and then the door slammed. “Well, come on,” Silky said from behind the door, “That was the most excitement I’ve had all week!” Rich groused something back. Silky protested that Rich’s idea of an exciting time was discovering a tie sale. Raspberry couldn’t hear the rest, but he breathed easy that Rich didn’t seem too angry. Rich seemed more like he just felt upset at having wasted his valuable time. Raspberry walked out and took a seat at a bench opposite Rich’s house. Well… now what? I’m sure that a living, breathing train-monster would convince him. But he’s not going to just take Snails’ word for it. Or maybe the umbrella. Probably the umbrella. Dammit! Where the hell did Twist go? Raspberry got up, took a breath, and then he headed back into the town square. I probably need a place to stay, too… Raspberry wandered from store to store. He asked around, but no one seemed to have seen the frizzy haired foal with the coke-bottle glasses. He changed tactics and asked about a large pony named Zecora. In that case, the ponies didn’t seem to even want anything to do with Raspberry. He stopped to get himself something to eat. He glanced around at all of the construction as he relaxed. Every single building seemed to have something being added. Construction ponies scurried around every which way. Raspberry surveyed the whole shopping center. The buildings all stretched into a gigantic arc. In the center, a monument looking somewhat like a pony version of the Lady Liberty shot straight upwards into the air. Yet, instead of a torch, she carried a large sphere about the same size as Raspberry. He thought that it resembled a disco ball, although it had far more class. He gazed at how the light reflected from all around the complex into the ball. He glanced up above at the taller buildings, and he saw how the light seemed to flow back onto little mirrors added to various walls. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Raspberry heard someone say from behind him. He looked over and he saw Spike taking a seat. “You know, this might make no sense, but I’m glad to see something that’s not female,” Raspberry said. Ugh, it all feels so wrong. Aren’t there any ugly broads in Equestria? It seems so, somehow, irrational to have every single pony be like a perfect ten fashion model. And it sure as hell plays havoc with your hormones. “Uh, thanks,” Spike said, and he scratched his head in confusion, “Anyways, I was glad to run into you. I thought that you’d probably be admiring all of the new stuff Mr. Rich is putting in.” “Ah, I should have known he’d have his fingers in all this,” Raspberry remarked. “Fingers?” Spike asked. “His, uh, end bits… his hoof… ends...” Raspberry muttered, “Whatever. Did you need to talk to me about something? I’ve been looking everywhere if anyone has seen Twist. She has something very important of mine.” “Twist? Twist, huh, no, I can’t say that I have,” Spike replied, “But I guess she’ll probably be there at the auction. I think she loves animals just like everypony else at the school.” “Auction?” Raspberry asked. “Yes, the auction, you know, from the Coltsville society thing,” Spike said, and he tapped Raspberry’s side, “You are such a kidder, I like that.” “Oh, of course,” Raspberry replied. Shoot, I had forgotten all about that story I fed them. Well, I guess, how hard could it be? I just stand in one place and rattle off numbers. Oh, come on… it’s harder than that. Remember that one episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’? It took Joan frigging Rivers to get that auction to work. And you, dear Raspberry, are no Joan Rivers. “The Mayor wanted to meet with you ASAP,” Spike said, “But before then, I think that you need to talk to Applejack. She said she would co-ordinate the whole thing. The pile of gems is already safely stored right now, and I made sure that not a single one has been misplaced.” “Uh, co-ordinate nothing,” Raspberry replied. Spike gave him a confused look. “Just let her run the whole thing. From stem to stern. Tell her that I’m very impressed with her, uh, record in running Apple family affairs?” “Oh, really? You’ve been over to her farm and stuff?” inquired Spike. “I’ve been nearby,” Raspberry said, “And, yadda yadda yadda, it’s all hers.” He waved a hoof dismissively. “Now then, if no one has seen Twist, what about the rest of them? Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo?” “No idea,” Spike replied, “Between you and me, I think they’re all planning something.” “Oh, joy,” Raspberry said sarcastically. He finished off his biscotti. “Well, what about Zecora then, has anyone seen her anywhere?” “Oh, she was right at Sugarcube Corner,” Spike answered. “Right there!” Raspberry called out, and he grabbed the baby dragon. Spike let out an ‘eep’ as Raspberry hugged him. “Thank goodness!” The stallion put Spike back on the opposing chair. “Okay,” Spike said, “Yeah that zebra was just walking out of the place just a few seconds ago while I was walking over here. It was straight over thatway.” He pointed behind himself. “Awesome,” Raspberry replied, and he got up, “Bye!” “Wait,” Spike grabbed the end of Raspberry’s suit, “What about the auction?” “What about it—” Raspberry began, and then his mind started running through dozens of possible issues. He shook his head. “Look, just, I just think— Carpe diem!” He thrust his right hoof triumphantly. “Carpet?” Spike asked. “Carpe diem! Seize the day!” yelled Raspberry. He focused his eyes right on the baby dragon’s eyes. “Everything that we need to do, do it now. Right now. Everything at once. Hold the auction ASAP. Why not? The night, I mean, the day is young! Let’s do it right now, when everypony is already out and exited. Hold it now! Get the stuff out and have a platform right here in front of the sculpture. Let Applejack know that she’ll be announcing. Let the Mayor know that I’ll meet him right there.” “Wait, right now?” Spike asked, “But there’s not enough time…” “Give it like twenty or thirty minutes. You can do that. I know you can. I have the utmost faith in you Spike. I’ll bet that you’ve never really had much of a chance to run anything,” Raspberry said. “I guess,” Spike said, suddenly feeling glum. “Carpe diem!” Raspberry yelled again, and he prepared to speed away. “Carpet dying!” Spike called out, and he trotted down over to a group of ponies at the nearby florists. “Close enough,” Raspberry muttered, and he headed off towards Sugarcube Corner. He ran and then halted himself right in front of the massive building. It couldn’t be anything other than the most wonderful kind of bakery. He paused to marvel at all of the decorations on the building. He then yanked open the door and looked inside. Noone there! He slammed the door, and then he glanced all about. He saw a wide variety of horses of all shapes, colors, and sizes. He didn’t see a zebra. DAMMIT! Raspberry headed over and asked group after group nearby. Several of them had seen a zebra, but none of them recalled where she had gone. Many of them seemed rather uncomfortable for some reason and dodged his questions. As well, not a single pony recalled seeing Twist anywhere. Raspberry found himself at another bench besides some kind of furniture store. He took a deep breath and sat back down. He looked down and saw that he had sat the unnatural way— the human way. He shifted himself upwards, but then he paused halfway. “To hell with it,” he muttered. What the hell am I supposed to do? I know Rich has it. Ugh… I’m not going to just steal it. Or would I even try? I know he HAS it. I have no frigging clue where he KEEPS it. It could be a safe-deposit box in a Hoofington bank for all I know! UGH! Raspberry leaned back and stared up at the clouds. He hardly noticed the large pink blob ascending from deep within the bushes behind him. The pink thing melted out of the bushes completely, looking a lot like a T-1000, and then she perched herself directly over Raspberry. The stallion closed his eyes and muttered to himself,“Hmmmm, maybe Twist is—” He opened his eyes again, and he saw nothing but a pink blur smothering him. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” the bright pink mare yelled back at Raspberry— looking as if she was about to explode in cheer. She smiled, and then did a kind of cartwheel that then landed her right on the bench besides him. He went to scream again, but then she thrust something small and soft into his mouth. “Oooh, lemony,” he muttered. The mare twirled a bit in place. She had a vibrant pink mane to go with her pink body. Her cutie mark stood out immediately— a set of balloons. “Hello, hello, hello, mister / I hope today finds you well!” the mare sang. She hopped out onto the street in front of Raspberry and did a lively dance. “I hear you’re helping out our animals / And that makes you really swell! We all love making friends / And we know that you’re brand new! So come by after the auction / It’s our party here for you!” “Thanks,” Raspberry said. “They’ll be cakes and cookies and sodas / And some special surprises too! We know that you’re all busy / We hate to see you feeling blue! Head right after the auction / Come on in and be a smarty! Everypony will be there / We know you’ll love your party!” she sang. As soon as she stopped, she leaned over and panted profusely. “And, you are…” Raspberry began. “Pinkie Pie, at your service,” she replied, and the she grabbed both of his front hooves and shook them. “Oooh, ooh, oh,” Raspberry muttered. He felt little fireworks going off underneath his pony skin. Well, she’s one of the magic, special six. No doubt. She let go of him, and then the popping sensations ended. “Hmmm, that was interesting.” “What was what?” Pinkie asked. “Can you do something for me?” Raspberry asked back. She nodded, and then Raspberry awkwardly reached over with his right hoof. He touched around her own right hoof. He felt a sort of static charge that built up before their bodies touched. When they rubbed each other, he almost felt like he would be erupting electricity from the end of his hoof like a pony Sith Lord. “Oh, wait, I know what this is,” Pinkie said, “What a minute. I can get it. I can get it.” She scrunched her face as she tried to think. “A-ha! I know what it is! I know for sure! You’re a fortune teller! That’s why you want to keep touching my hooves.” “Sure, I’ll go with that,” Raspberry replied. He decided to be a lot more brazen and rubbed along her right hoof, and then her left hoof. Something didn’t seem to work, though. He felt that every single time he touched her that unpleasant popping sensation became weaker, not stronger. He gazed into her humongous eyes for a moment. It’s feels nothing at all like you’re dangerous to me. It feels more like, somehow, you’re good magic, and I’m neutral magic. But you’re not hurting me. It feels… good. It’s like you’re… you’re… ‘winning me over’. I’m an iron filling and you’re my magnet. “What do you say! What do you say!” Pinkie squealed. “Say what?” Raspberry asked. “What’s my fortune?” Pinkie asked back, and she curled her mane on her face. The move looked as adorable as kittens playing with puppies in a bed of rose petals. “You’re fortune is, uh,” Raspberry said, “Excellent. Totally excellent!” He stood up off of the bench. “Because, guess what?” “What!” Pinkie yelled. “I’m coming to your party!” Raspberry exclaimed. Pinkie squealed and did a victory dance. She babbled about how she would be telling every single pony in the entire city to head to the auction and then the upcoming party. She seemed to disappear in a blur. Raspberry waved over to where she had stood.