//------------------------------// // What Did This to Me? // Story: False Memory // by TypewriterError //------------------------------// Am I sleepwalking? I’m still in my clothes from today. But, it’s night. How long have I been sleeping? What time is it?   Everything sounds empty. The rain has stopped and the full moon stares at me without impediment. Luna? Can you still hear me? How many hours and days have gone by since we last saw each other? I rest my hand on the glass crossed over with wires. I look back towards my bed, realizing the bars are gone. I must be dreaming then. I don’t care.   Movement below me catches my attention. The female I saw attack Sarah is loose. She’s running around like a dog, howling and leaping all over the yard. Shouldn’t someone try to stop her?   Sarah walks out and the female eagerly runs and jumps on her like a canine would, licking her face. I can see Sarah’s laughter as she hugs the patient and lets her drop down on all fours. But, why are they so happy now? What had caused her to attack Sarah before?   I can’t help but smile as I watch them play. Neither cares that the ground is muddy as the patient tackles and is tackled by the nurse. At one point, after both of them have varying degrees of mud on them, the patient slowly stands up with the nurse’s help and hugs her. Sarah hugs her back. The patient’s shoulders shake and Sarah holds her tightly as she leads her back towards the building. I’m sad to see them go. Something about them...felt like home. Like there was something right about them having fun together.   I blink and tears are pushed from my eyes. When I was a pony I used to play with Luna like that, when we were fillies, until the time Discord took over. We had to grow up. I couldn’t frolic with Luna anymore. I had to wear heavy horseshoes and royal jewelry. I had to be a Princess and defeat Discord.   I blink my eyes against the light of the moon. Luna, please tell me you’re real. Please tell me you were not a dream. I love you, my sister. I miss you. Please be real. I don’t want Charlotte and the others to exist. I don’t want that sadness.   I want stillness.   I want the stillness that is so quiet I can hear somepony singing to me miles away. I can almost hear it if I listen hard enough. I can almost hear the stars hum above as the light of the moon vocalizes to accentuate the voice of its Princess. Luna is singing to me tonight. She sings a lullaby I sang to her, when I spent the first night since her birth without her. I had to banish her, but I didn’t have to stop telling her I loved her still. I had no hope. No hope of us being reunited...just like now.   The stillness turns off suddenly when I raise my head to look at the moon. I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but I still feel comforted to feel as if I can hear her sing to me. It's like I know she’ll get me out of here. I can’t give up the hope that I’ll see her again. I will see her. We defeated Discord once and we can defeat him again. I’m looking forward to this appointment. Dr. Cruebel hasn’t entered his office yet but he will soon. I was scheduled to have an appointment with him to check up on my “progress” as they call it. I have a feeling he’s still going to try to play this game of his. No, he hasn’t fooled me.   He enters with Nurse Sarah and sits in a chair adjacent to mine while Sarah sits behind his desk to observe. I still have no idea who she is. I never knew of him having an accomplice before.   “All right, Ashlyn...” he says, pulling out a notebook. His usual white doctor’s coat is discarded on the coat rack and he straightens his sweater and a pair of glasses before continuing, “I know it isn’t fair to see how much you remember since before your accident last week...what’s so funny?”   I shake my head at him with a smile to conceal my irritation.   “You’re still playing Doctor aren’t you? This is getting really old, Discord.”   He sighs, of course, and takes his glasses off to address me.   “Ashlyn. I understand you’ve been through a great ordeal and therefore you want to separate yourself from your real life. However, as we discussed before, your sister would not want this for you—“   “How do you know what Luna does and doesn’t want for me?”   “So...that’s what you call her now...I see.” he says, making a small note, he pauses and takes a slow breath before looking up at me, “I know you two were very close and losing her was hard on you especially. I understand. It’s only normal.”   I couldn’t stop the anger watering my eyes. How dare he pretend to be sympathetic... How dare he! Every curse I could think of calling on him ran through my mind. How dare he say he understands? How dare he act sympathetic! He changed Luna. He took her mind away so I had to banish her. If he hadn't poisoned her with jealousy... How could he possibly understand? I had to banish my own little sister! I had to fight her! And now he was... I can’t even speak. I grip my knees and close my eyes. My stomach wrings itself sick.   “Is she having a fit?” Sarah asks nervously. I feel two strong hands grip my arms to hold me still. I’m shaking. I didn’t even realize I was shaking but now I can’t stop it.   “Ashlyn, listen to me: you could not save her. You did everything you could and you have no reason to hate yourself or anyone for what happened that day. You fought so hard but if they hadn’t dragged you out then you would have died too.”   My eyes open and I stop shaking. They dragged me out.   “They...”   “You were underwater for so long that you were unconscious when they got you back to land. The lifeguard had to do CPR on you. I believe he cracked some of your ribs in the process.”   Someone help me! I’m drowning!   “Ashlyn?”   Why won’t my legs work? I can’t reach the surface.   “Ashlyn? Can you hear me?”   I try to breathe and my lungs fill with water. My chest hurts...   “Ashlyn?”   I can’t breathe.   “What are you doing to her?”   “Maybe this will shock her out...”   “But—”   I he puts his left arm across my shoulders and punches my back directly between my shoulder blades. I take a breath. I can breathe. I can breathe now. The water isn’t here. The water can’t hurt me. I can breathe.   The joints of my hands are visible as I look down on them gripping his arm. The digits of my hand are almost white against the deep burgundy of his sweater. I ease my hands loose but keep them resting on his arm. His own hand stays on my back and his arm supports me until I lean against the back of the chair. My heart panics in my chest and my face burns. I can’t look at him. I feel embarrassed for some reason.   “You shouldn’t have done that.” Sarah says in a low, even tone.   “Are you alright?” he asks.   “I said you shouldn’t have done that! That was not necessary!”   Dr Cruebel gives an exasperated sigh. “You’re right...that was wrong of me to do,” he concedes, though with some sarcasm, “Please, take her to her room again and watch her. I think she’s been through enough today.”   I’m vaguely aware of Sarah taking my hand and putting her arm around my waist. I follow her mechanically, as if I do not inhabit the body I’m in though it responds to my commands. Sarah turns the handle down and pulls open the door without looking.   The snap of a bark is the only warning I have before a woman jumps at me and I feel her teeth break and sink into the skin of my shoulder. I fall backwards with the weight of her pushing me and something strikes against the back of my head. My eyes turn to static and I’m dreaming.