199: TO LOVE A PRINCESS
I saw it coming. I saw the signs, saw the slow but inexorable erosion of her mind. I saw the shadow of the Nightmare falling upon my love. I knew what was coming when the moon rose on that terrible night.
Celestia would have seen it, too — should have seen it — had she not been so blinded by her own glorious sun and the complacent adulation of her subjects. I hated her for it. I hated the way she would smile indulgently when her sister grumbled, not understanding why Luna was restless and unhappy. I hated the patronizing look in her eyes when she told me that Luna was just being foalish and temperamental. I hated her kindly, patient voice when she assured me that my fears were unfounded.
I wanted her to be right, though. I was terrified at the thought of what was happening to my love, and what it would mean for her and me and all of Equestria. I tried to stop it, since no one else would. I tried to be there for her, to support her when she felt nopony else cared about her. I tried to make her feel wanted, tried to make her see that, at least for one lucky pony, she would always and forever be the only princess in the world.
It was not enough. I could not save her from herself. I merely delayed the inevitable. I can still see her anguished face as she finally, finally lost herself in the Nightmare.
And I . . . I lost myself with her. I know the monster I knelt before and swore allegiance to is not the Luna I love, but I know she is in there, trapped, helpless, and terrified of what she has become. I will not abandon her. If serving my princess means serving the Nightmare, then so be it. I will do whatever I must to protect her, and may Tartarus have mercy on whomever stands in my way.