"He ran fast, and died a virgin."
A small cigarette landed on the Scout's body as a certain someone pulled out a new one. If you haven't figured out who it is yet, then a big clue is a butterfly knife had been embedded deep into the Scout's back, and he was now lying dead on the ground, gravel to be seen for miles.
Yes, it is the Spy who was standing tall, the Spy who was hidden by shadow, the Spy who killed Scout. He laughed like a french man, a few snorts sprinkled in. Yes, it was a very good day to be Spy. Unfortunately, we must leave the Spy at the point where he asks for a lighter, for we can return to him later. After all, he is important to this chapter!
We now come back to the Sniper, who had recently prepared to go stop evil. Well, in the events following, he received something in the mail, and when he opened the parcel, stuff happened, he locked himself in his bedroom (Which is actually a closet with a pillow and a sleeping bag) and did something he hadn't done since the day when he was 5 and punched in the face by a bully: He cried.
And it was loud and a horrifying sound.
You see, the object inside the parcel was a "Fourteen-inch tall embarrassment to professionals everywhere". That translates to "Fourteen-inch tall plastic statue of Sniper" and it all started 2 months before the events of this story. Saxton Hale had come to Sniper's house with a young girl he claimed to be his nephew, a pen and a clipboard. Saxton asked Sniper to pledge five dollars for a charity walk, and Sniper actually gave Mann Co. his likeness rights until the year 7039.
Now, we come back to the present day. Sniper cried himself to sleep, and the next day he woke up to find it was night. It was 10:00 AM. He then looked around and saw everything had been transformed. His pillow was now a marshmallow, and his sleeping bag was a giant, harmless caterpillar. To give you a better idea of what everything looked like, imagine Pyroland. Yes, it was sort of that. There was chocolate rain, and other crazy things.
Now, let's get back to Spy. He had been killed by a Pyro, and as soon as he respawned...
"Spy, vould you pass the screwdriver?"
Spy did as told, and Medic continued working on a strange device. Now, I will continue later.