Rainbow Dash sputtered, coughing orange smoke. "Blegh. Why can't all powerful magic smell nice?" she wiped at her eyes, and glanced around, ready to see the rows and rows of adoring fans once the smoke cleared.
Instead, she found herself staring back at the shelves upon shelves of random junk. Antiques. Whatever. "That's it? That's supposed to be me being the best most awesome and super-rad Wonderbolt ever?" Rainbow Dash complained. "Laaaaaame."
She shook her head, and slowly made her way towards the front of the store. "Hey, Rarity, you wouldn't believe what I just found-" she began, but as she neared the counter, nopony was to be seen. "Uh. Rarity? Where'd ya go?"
Rainbow Dash scratched her head, and looked to the aged pony behind the counter. "Hey, you haven't seen my friend, have you? Unicorn, white coat, kinda snooty, but in a good way?"
The storkeeper shook her head.
"Huh. Go fig." Rainbow Dash said. "She's kind of hard to miss. But whatever. If you see her, tell her I'll be back at the suite." And with that, Rainbow Dash made for the door.
This may have been a mistake.
The bright sun of a pleasant afternoon was blinding enough after poking around the dim antiques shop for however long. But making things even worse was the throng of ponies waiting outside the ship, wielding large cameras with larger flashbulbs. A question came with each burst of light,
"Rainbow Dash! Why the sudden interest in antiques?"
"Rainbow Dash! Shouldn't you be at the practice cloud?"
"Rainbow Dash! What can you tell us about tomorrow's Wonderbolt performance?"
"Rainbow Dash!"
"Rainbow Dash!"
"Rainbow Dash!"
The Pegasus stared blankly at the massed mob of photographers.
Photographers who knew her name.
"Oh man." She squeaked once the epiphany sunk in. "This is so. cool." Bewilderment faded as rainbow Dash's innate showmanship took over. She spread her wings and took to the air, winding her way upwards in an effortless spiral, making sure to stretch her wings fully for the most dramatic picture. She hovered for a few moments, striking a few poses for the upturned cameras. "That's right, folks! It's me, Rainbow Dash! Just, y'know, being awesome. As usual."
Another salvo of questions came from the reporter ponies down below, but it only came out as an unintelligible garble. The chaos of the mob drowned out any individual voice, and instead the mass of ponies sounded like o some sort of confused and demanding monster. The sheer sensory overload was enough to make even Rainbow Dash blink.
"Uh, right!" She said, giving her wings a flutter. "Anyway, you guys are great and all, but I think I'd better get going to check on some stuff. Later!"
And with that, Rainbow Dash did an entirely unessecary (but quite showy) loop before rocketing off into the sky. There were a few pegasus paparazzi amongst the crowd, byt they simply lacked the speed to keep up with Rainbow Dash, much less the skill needed to get a good picture at such a rate.
Rainbow Dash did a slow loop of the city, and finally came back to her guest suite at the Royal Palace. She landed easily on the wide balcony, and trotted into the spacious suite. "Hey! Rarity! You here? You wouldn't believe what I found at that old junk shop!"
There was no reply.
"Okay, sorry, not junk, antique shop." Rainbow Dash continued. "Seriously, I think I found something super cool and magical and it made me into a Wonderbolt which is pretty much the only way I can get more awesome."
Rainbow Dash made a slow circuit of the suite's main room, and frowned. "Aw man, all this cool magic stuff happens and Rarity's not even here. Who else am I supposed to talk to?"
"Can I listen?"
The unexpected (and decidedly male) voice nearly startled Rainbow dash out of her horseshoes. She spun around, and saw a boyishly handsome pegasus colt come strutting out from around the corner. He smiled, showing off perfect rows of dazzlingly white teeth. "I mean, uh. Hi? My name's Cloudraker. Wow. I....I kept on telling myself I would say something cool and all, but now I'm just babbling on, and you think I'm a dork, don't you?"
"Um. Maybe?" Rainbow Dash said. "Though honestly, with the whole 'waiting for a girl in her hotel room' bit, I'm leaning a little more towards 'creepy' than 'dorky' right now." She twisted her neck, cracking the vertebrae in what she hoped was a properly intimidating manner.
"Oh." Cloudraker. "Oh! Sorry! I'm so sorry! I just, um...well, I didn't even expect things would get this far, but then I just sort of walked right in, 'cause my cousin knows a girl who's dating one of the roomates of one of the royal guards, and so now I'm here, and, uh...can I get your autograph?" He pulled a pen and a headshot of Rainbow Dash from beneath his wing.
"Okay, hold on." Rainbow Dash said, squinting. "So you're not a weirdo...you're just a fan?"
"The biggest!" The colt said.
"Oh man." Rainbow Dash sat back on her haunches. "I've got a fanboy. I've got...lots of fanboys, don't I?"
Cloudraker nodded.
"So. Cool."
"So, um. Can I have that autograph?"
"Buddy," Rainbow Dash smiled, and threw an arm around the colt's shoulder. "I'm gonna do better than that. We're getting room service."
As a guest of Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash was entitled to partake of the palace's top notch service staff. However, she soon realized it was only as a superstar Wonderbolt that she was able to make use of it properly.
"And remember!" Rainbow Dash shouted into the speaking tube, "No. Blue. Jellybeans. Not allowed. Just pick them out of the bowl!"
A harried voice murmured a vague agreement from the other end.
"Oh! And send more booze up, too! We're almost out!"
Rainbow Dash didn't bother listening to the kitchen-pony's reply, and turned back to the ongoing party. She perked her ears, and grinned at the mass of smiling faces she saw scattered throughout the suite. Fanboys had fanclubs, which meant that it was a simple matter to have Cloudraker get in touch with his other Wonderbolt-obsessed friends, and invite them over for what was no doubt going to be the best night of their lives.
And sure, Rainbow Dash mused, here was a small bunch of colts and fillies who hung on to her every word and thought her to be the coolest pony in the history of ever. Some ponies might even get their heads a little inflated at such sudden and devoted worship. But by inviting them over, she was only enriching their lives. Really, she was just helping their dreams come true!
This logic made a little more sense after her third cocktail. The suite had a well-stocked minibar. Which, again, was her responsibility to use as a superstar Wonderbolt.. Really, the only thing that kept this party from being the best thing ever was the lack of Pinkie Pie, or the rest of her friends, for that matter.
"Oh!" Rainbow Dash said, turning back to the room-service speaking tube. "Have somebody send a letter to Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville and tell her to bring all her friends here. It's really important!" She grinned to herself, smug. "Just gotta keep the party rollin' 'til they get here!"
"Rainbow Dash."
"Hnnh?" The pegasus squinted her eyes shut harder, and pulled a pillow over her head.
"Rainbow Dash."
"Go away." She managed through a dry-tasting mouth.
"Rainbow Dash!"
"Wha'd I tell you?" Rainbow Dash threw the pillow in the general direction of the voice, and sat up. "All you fanboys were supposed to go home so I could rest up for- Spitfire?"
The Wonderbolt commander stood there in her flight suit, goggles pushed back to reveal the look of flat frustration on her face.
"Uh. Hi." Rainbow Dash fought down the urge to start squee-ing fangirlishly herself. The hangover helped.
"You're late." Spitfire said, and tossed a flight suit onto the bed. "Honestly, if you weren't such a crowd pleaser, I would've drummed you out of the squad ages ago. Soarin's already stalling for time, but we're already behind schedule. You gonna be good to fly this time?"
"Whoa." Rainbow Dash took the suit up in her hooves and stared. "I mean, uh, yeah!" She snapped herself out of her awe. "I'm always ready to fly, you know that. Just gimmie a sec, and I'm good to go." She awkwardly fumbled herself into the jumpsuit, toppling off the bed in the process. "I'm okay!" she said, even with the side of her face pressed to the floor.
As Spitfire watched on impassively, Rainbow Dash zipped up the suit, and gave her limbs a stretch within the material. On the one hoof, she realized, that the mere act of putting on a Wonderbolt suit (outside of a Nightmare Night costume party) was an honor in and of itself. On the other, the suit was kind of itchy and bunched up in all the wrong places. She must have gotten spoiled, she decided, since Rarity had started custom-tailoring all her clothes. Go fig.
"Here," Spitfire thrust a mug of coffee into Rainbow's hooves. "Drink this."
Rainbow Dash merely nodded, and drained half the mug in one scalding gulp. "Aaah. Needed that." She gasped out. Between the caffeine and the thrill of getting to be a Wonderbolt and do Wonderbolt Stuff, Rainbow Dash shook off the effects of her hangover in mere moments. "So, uh, now what?"
"Now," Spitfire said through gritted teeth, "we try to act halfway professional and not screw up this show. C'mon." The orange-maned pegasus beat her wings and took off at a speed even Rainbow Dash found impressive.
"Right!" Rainbow Dash tossed her coffee mug over her shoulder (that's what maid service was for, wasn't it?) and took off in hot pursuit.
"We're headed right for the arena, to save time. As soon as we get there, fall into formation, and just follow the routine."
"Formation flying. Got it!" Rainbow Dash pulled her goggles over her eyes, and smiled. She would've been shaking with anticipation, if she wasn't already working every sinew and feather as she cruised along beside Spitfire.
"And no showing off!" Spitfire snapped. "The timing on the Double Diamond Delta Dive has got to be perfect, so there's no room for your usual theatrics."
"The Double Diamond Delta Dive?" Rainbow Dash blurted. "That's...not in the official Wonderbolts fan-guide. I mean, uh, playbook. That I read. Because I'm a Wonderbolt."
"That's because it's new. This is gonna be the trick's big debut, remember? Or have you been napping during practice?"
"Oh. That Double Diamond Delta Dive. I thought we were talking about the, uh, Double Decker Dovetail Doorstopper. That thing. Code names, y'know? But it's cool. I totally know all the moves. All of them."
Spitfire glared over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash. "There's a lot riding on this, Dash. Don't screw it up."
The two pegasi burst out of a cloudbank, where Soarin and a few other Wonderbolts in full uniform waited. As one, they gave Rainbow Dash a wary look, but the cheers of the unicorn crowd below drowned out any snide commentary they might have had.
Not that Rainbow Dash would have noticed anyway. She looked down at the upward looking crowds- and it took her a moment to realize they were cheering. Cheering for her. Rainbow Dash's heart beat faster, and her belly twisted in on itself. There were just so many of them, and they were so loud, and Soarin and Spitfire were so close.
"This is so. Cool."
"Hey, stop talking to yourself." Spitfire snapped. "We've got a job to do."
It was almost easy.
This was, of course, using a loose definition of 'easy.' There were few pegasi who could keep up with the Wonderbolts based on speed alone- not to mention the precision flying involved. And yet, every time Rainbow Dash felt her spirits flagging, a renewed cheer from the crowds below spurred Rainbow Dash onward. And through it all, she simply couldn't wipe the dopey grin off her face, even as she windburned her cheeks with each additional sprint or acrobatic maneuver. The entire show was a blur, both from the speed, and the sheer joy of it all.
As one, the Wonderbolts wheeled about and landed on a strategically placed cloud, taking their first break after a half hour long series of maneuvers. Rainbow Dash panted, as did the rest of the Wonderbolts- but the break was to be short lived.
"Alright!" Spitfire said, and pulled her goggles back into place. "There's only one way to end this show- the Double Diamond Delta Dive! You all know what to do, right?"
The Wonderbolts nodded in grim agreement. Rainbow Dash did the same, trying to blend in.
"Just remember how we practiced it. And in three...two...one...go!"
The other flyers bolted off of the cloud, each taking off in a different direction. Rainbow Dash paused for just a moment, and then picked a random direction to take off in. She glanced over her shoulder, at which point she realized the other Wonderbolts were soaring off at perpendicular angles to each other, in each of the cardinal directions. Rainbow Dash poured on some extra speed and veered to her left a few to correct her formation- and no sooner had she done so, she caught a glimpse of Soarin making a sudden 180 degree turn.
Rainbow Dash splayed her wings out to match the sudden reversal. A fresh twinge of pain shot up her shoulder from the sudden strain, but Rainbow Dash ignored it, focusing on the performance, on the flight.
She kept her eyes on Soarin as she wheeled about- the colt had angled himself downwards, folding his wings to his side as he went into a dive. Rainbow Dash mirrored his actions- from the corner of her eye, she saw the other Wonderbolts doing the same.
As the wind whipped at Rainbow Dash's hair and flight suit, she realized just how the Double Diamond Delta Dive worked- four ponies, flying at the cardinal directions, would all dive towards the same point in space. The real key would be the timing- too slow, and it wouldn't be exciting. Too fast, and all the flyers would just plow into each other.
"Oh man." Rainbow Dash murmured to herself. "This is gonna be awesome." She narrowed her eyes behind her goggles, turned her lips up into a determined smirk, and poured on the speed. All she had to do was keep an eye on the other Wonderbolts- let the rest of them pass first, and then she could pour on the last bit of speed for the finale. Rainbow Dash even wondered if she might pull off another sonic rainboom, just to make the finale all the grander. The audience below had stopped cheering, instead watching in tense silence.
Soarin streaked through the point first, followed soon by a blonde-maned filly Rainbow didn't recognize. Rainbow Dash straightened herself out, angling her wings downwards for an extra little bit of speed.
And then she crashed into Spitfire.
Rainbow Dash barely registered the solid hit of flesh on flesh before the world around her began to spin. All pretensions to elegance and precision gone, she frantically beat her wings, trying to get herself righted again. Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth against the pain lancing through her entire left side, and held her shaky wings out enough to glide to a nearby cloud. Once she landed, she looked over her shoulder- to her relief, the other Wonderbolts looked battered, disoriented- but still airborne.
"Good." Rainbow Dash said, breathing heavily. "Everypony's okay."
That's when she passed out.
RAINBOW RUINS ROYAL REVUE!
PREDILICTION FOR PARTYING PREVENTS PREPARATION!
SPITFIRE FLUSTERED FROM FLIGHT SHOW FRACAS!
Somepony had 'thoughtfully' piled the newspapers and tabloids on Rainbow Dash's bedside table, so they were one of the first things she saw when she woke up. She reached out with one bandaged hoof and swept the papers from the table. The pain made her swear, but scattering the alliterative headlines was totally worth it.
"What the heck." Rainbow Dash shifted around in her bed. She'd been hurt worse, she knew- but that didn't make her current condition any more pleasant. "Can't those stupid newspapers find something else to talk about?"
"Actually, no." The djinn said, standing on the other side of Rainbow Dash's bed.
"Gah!" Rainbow Dash took to the air (if painfully) and glared at the otherworldly creature. "Where'd you come from?"
"Technically, I've always been here- altering things in just the right fashion to twist reality to your wishes, Miss. I've just kept myself slightly out of frequency with your plane of perception for convenience's sake."
Rainbow Dash stared.
"...I've been invisible." The djinn said, very slowly.
"Oooooooh. Still! What gives? I thought you were supposed to make wishes come true? 'cause I totally want a do-over on this one. It all went wrong!"
"Did it?" The djinn's expression remained placid. "You wished to be the most famous of the Wonderbolts...and, well, now you are." She nodded towards the scattered pile of newspapers and tabloids. "After yesterday's show, I imagine all of Equestria will be talking about you for quite some time."
"But that's not right! They're only saying bad stuff about me!"
"It may be easier to be infamous than famous."
"But I don't want them to say bad stuff about me!"
"There's little one can do to influence public opinion, once it's out there." The djinn gave a casual, helpless shrug. "Unless you wish me to change their minds? It would be...challenging, but within my capabilities. If you wished, Miss."
"Yes!" Rainbow Dash blurted. "Er, I mean, wait, no! I mean, uh. Would you changing their minds involve, like, horrible brainwashing or something?"
"It could be an option."
"Then no!" Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs across her chest, and puffed her wings out. "I think I've got you figured out now! I bet you're gonna be a total jerkass about any wish I make, aren't you?"
"I only do as I am bidden, Miss. Causality controls the rest."
"What."
"If I may use an analogy...it's like a rock at the top of a hill. I only have the power to give the rock a push, and only when somepony wishes me to. If the rock in turn tumbles down and hits something at the bottom of the hill...well, whose responsibility is that?"
"Huh." Rainbow Dash huffed. "Well, if you're gonna play it like, that, fine! I know just how to deal with your smartypants magic nonsense."
"Oh?"
"Definitely! I just have to get somepony who's totally smarter than me when it comes to stupid magic junk! Ha ha, I've got you now, jerkass!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "I wish my friend Twilight Sparkle was- no, I wish Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Elements of Harmony were here, 'cause if you don't do this wish right, we're totally going to zap you with a rainbow friendship laser! So HA!"
"As you wish, Miss." And with a burst of orange smoke, the djinn disappeared.
A moment later, the door to Rainbow Dash's hospital room flew open, courtesy of a certain purple unicorn. "Rainbow!" Twilight said, bursting into the room. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie all followed hot on her hooves, and the room got very crowded, very quickly.
"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash sat up. "Am I glad to see you!"
"I wish I could say the same, Rainbow." Twilight Sparkle jut her chin out, determinedly.
"What're you talking about?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Rainbow Dash." Twilight closed her eyes, and fell into the most official-sounding tone she could manage. "I hereby order you to stand down, and submit to Princess Celestia's judgement for the crime of reality deviance."
"Uh. Mind running that by me in non-fancy talk?"
"Rainbow Dash, you're under arrest."