You walk through the crowded streets of Ponyville, and you see before you a small building with a roof that appeared as chocolate frosting, and a small pink balcony veering over the rest of the street taking the shape of a small, pink cupcake on the top.
You see a small sign hovering under a beam with the bakery's signature pink cupcake, and near one of the corners of the roof you can see a weathervane that appeared as a pony with a candy cane. You roll your eyes at the loud design of the building, and push open the door to the small bakery. The sweet smell of frosting and cake hits your nose as you enter, and you sigh blissfully. It's pleasant, but unusually strong.
The small room you walked into was slightly warmer than normal, with a decoration similar to the exterior of the building with candy cane pillars. The whole bakery looked like a ginger bread house! You sigh, and turn to see a short line of ponies taking orders for the sweets to be put at the buffet tables of the Masquerade.
You smile when you see the familiar violently pink mare happily taking orders at the front counter. Pinkie had obviously managed to have gotten over your announcement of not attending, and you were glad she was back to her old self. But, then you groan inwardly when you realized she might act over excitedly when she found out you WERE attending...And needed her help.
You decide to wait patiently in line; you needed to be alone with her, but didn't want to disrupt her customers. After about half an hour of waiting, you finally reach the counter, facing the pink mare face to face, and her blue eyes widen with excitement when she sees you.
"HI!! Are-"
You stuff her mouth with your hoof in an attempt to keep her silent long enough to listen. You knew it was rude, but she would just start rambling on if you didn't get to the point as fast as possible.
"Pinkie, I need your help. Badly. We can chat later, but please, PLEASE stay on topic for this once. Pinkie promise?"
Pinkie nods rapidly, and since your hoof was still in her mouth, she couldn't say her signature "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" And could only do the hoof-motions that went along with it. You decide that would be enough, since she's NEVER broken a pinkie swear in the time you've known her.
You pull her into a small room nearby, and find the light was off with a few pieces of furniture covered. Either they were painting, or using this room as a storage closet. Pinkie bounces along inside with you, smiling as she waits intently for you to speak, one of the few times she was willing to listen. You decide to not let it be too dramatic, and just tell her.
"I'm going to The Masquerade."
Her blue eyes widen, and before she can gasp, scream for joy, and/or etc, you cover her mouth quickly and abruptly and hiss,
"But Venture and my Uncle CAN'T know!"
She raises an eyebrow, and pulls away gently.
"Why? The more ponies you party with, the more fun you'll have! The more fun you have, the more new ponies you meet, and the more new ponies you meet means more new friends, and more new friends means more SMILES!"
It amazed you that Pinkie could manage to say such long, wordy sentences in one breath, but you didn't linger on it. You sigh, and begin your explanation.
"You know who professor Test Tube is, right?"
Pinkie nods rapidly, and you sigh relieved you didn't have to explain who he was to her.
"Anyways, he's attending The Masquerade, and...well, I REALLY want to meet him. If I get on his good-side, he might recommend me for Coltminister University!"
Pinkie gasps loudly again, and bounces vigorously.
"OHBOYYOU'REGOINGTOCOLLEGEWEHAVETOGETAPARTYREADYAND-"
You sigh, and again stuff her mouth with your hoof.
"No, it doesn't mean I'm going to college. Not yet, anyways. Venture said everything I do has something to do with college, and if he finds out I AM attending, but just to meet Test Tube, he'll hate me forever!"
Pinkie gives her signature gasp again, and her lip trembles.
"And if he hates you forever....he won't be your friend..."
You nod solemnly, glad you were getting her to understand. She nods firmly, giving a grim look of determination.
"Don't worry! Pinkie's on the job! Nopony's losing any friends today, tomorrow, or ever as long as she's around!"
You smile, for once her attitude giving you a positive outlook.
"I need you to show me how to....y'know, act like I'm having fun. With all the rowdy ponies in costumes around, it isn't likely I really will."
Pinkie shakes her head, giggling.
"Silly, you can't act like you're having fun!"
You raise your eyebrows, surprised.
"I...I can't?"
She shakes her head rapidly.
"Nope! There's only one way to have fun, and that's actually having fun!"
You nod your head slowly, disappointed at this.
"Alright..."
She giggles, and smiles.
"First things first....you have to get festive! Dress for the party, and you'll have an even more super-duper fun time!"
You nod, following what Pinkie was getting at, for the first time in awhile.
"Alright...where can I get a costume?"
Pinkie smiles even wider, and grabs you by the hoof before trotting out of the room, out of Sugarcube corner, and into the streets of Ponyville.
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"Pinkie, how much further is it?"
You groan as she trots off at a seemingly random direction, always seeming to pick the last direction you were expecting her to take. The two of you had been racing around Ponyville for twenty minutes already, and your hooves were starting to ache.
Pinkie giggles, and says with a childish singy-song voice.
"Almost the-ere!"
You roll your eyes, and decide not to question it. Pinkie was your best chance at sneaking into the party, and you just had to trust her. As you and Pinkie run through the streets, evading carriages and ponies while you speed through, you realize Pinkie was leading you outside of Ponyville, and towards the Everfree forest. You raise an eyebrow, and mutter;
"Um...Pinkie, why're we going towards the forest?"
Pinkie laughs, and shakes her head.
"Don't worry! There's nothing to be scared of, and we'll only be going a few feet inside. Besides, the ghosties are pretty funny when you get to know them!"
Again, you find yourself scratching your head at Pinkie's logic, since you weren't scared, but before you can question it, she lets out an excited woop.
"We're here!"
You stop, glad to catch your breath, and take a quick look at your environment. Just as Pinkie promised, you were only a few feet into the forest, and you could still see Ponyville through the tree trunks. Light creeped through the forest canopy, dancing on the patterned leaves of the forest floor. You could hear birds chirping through the crisp morning air, and small animals scampering through the undergrowth in search of food. Quite a serene sight...but you had to stay focused.
You turn to Pinkie, who was bouncing over to random trees and knocking on their trunks, leaning her ear against each one to listen. You sigh, Pinkie's erratic behavior getting to you again. You didn't want to seem rude, but it seemed necessary to ask
"Pinkie, what in the name of Celestia are you doing?"
She turns to you, putting her hoof to her lips, and gives you a harsh "SHH!!"
You close your mouth, a little irked by this, but decide to remain silent and let Pinkie do her thing...whatever that may be.
She resumes her strange pattern of knocking and listening to each and every tree in the clearing. You sit down, bored out of your mind, and decide to ignore her for now and simply admire the beautiful environment. You wait for another twenty minutes for Pinkie to find whatever it was she was looking for, enjoying the strange beauty of the forest. Eventually, you close your eyes, and slowly nod off to sleep without realizing it.
"FOUND IT!!"
You leap a few feet into the air at Pinkie's sudden shout, and yawn.
"Wh-what?"
Pinkie turns to you, apparently at the correct tree, wearing a larger smile than normal.
"I found it!"
She points to the tree, and you see there's actually a small crack in the bark of it's trunk. She pushes her hooves into it, and it slowly widens silently to the size of a pony. She pushes the edges of the crack away from each other, opening a hidden....something. The best thing you could say was that it was a secret hole. It was too dark inside it to tell if it was a secret entrance, or a secret stash of some kind. You pull yourself back onto your hooves, and approach the curious oddity slowly, stopping next to Pinkie.
"And....this is?"
Pinkie rolls her eyes, and reaches her hoof inside, searching for something inside. So it was a stash..did she have a costume already set up for you inside? A little...convenient...
Then you realize that wasn't what she had inside. Pinkie smiles widely, and pulls out of the small hole in the tree a....ball. A small, red rubber ball, the kind used for wall-ball games by elementary schoolers. You groan in frustration, and tamp your hoof into the ground.
"Pinkie, I asked you to stay focused! This ISN'T a ball emergency!"
Pinkie rolls her eyes again, and scoffs.
"Well, DUH. This isn't a stash for a ball emergency!"
Suddenly, you cry out when the earth suddenly seems to swallow you up, and the light of day fades as you sink like lightning into the ground, as if you fell into a quicksand. Only difference was, that there wasn't any sand surrounding you. You simply kept falling through the darkness, air blowing through your mane as you tumbled. For some reason, you didn't find yourself screaming, despite the immense fear you felt in your gut.
It was pitch dark inside whatever you were in, so dark that you couldn't even see your hooves in front of you. You sigh, and wait for the inevitable crash...whenever that may be. As you fall, you suddenly hear a familiar giggle, and you whip your head around, desperately searching for Pinkie, wherever she was inside this place. Suddenly, you feel something smooth against your back, and it gradually slows your fall without harming you. Eventually, it curves, and stops as a floor, the curve acting like a slide. You slide back down to the floor, but before you can get back up, another pony crashes into you from behind, forcing you to skid off into the darkness with a crash. You groan in pain, and hear Pinkie bouncing towards you.
"That was so much fun! Let's do it again!"
You widen your eyes, and shake your head, even though you weren't sure Pinkie could see.
"No! I'd REALLY rather not!"
Pinkie sighs, disappointed.
"Alright then..."
You pull yourself back onto your hooves, still a little shaky from the sudden fall.
"Where...where are we?"
Pinkie giggles, and you hear her bouncing away.
"You'll see! C'mon!"
Before you could point out you couldn't see her, Pinkie was already bouncing away. Not eager to get lost in this dark place, you quickly trot in the direction you could hear her bounce. The floor felt flat and hard, like concrete, and it was wet for some reason. If you weren't careful, you could easily slip and fall onto the ground. You slow down, not eager to slip and crack your skull, but stay at a fast enough pace to keep up with Pinkie, wherever she was. You can take a relatively moderate guess at where she was, based on the sound of her bouncing through the pitch black hall.
You walk seemingly aimlessly through the dark hall for another half hour, and as you tread through the mysterious path, you notice the concrete floor gradually drying, until no trace of water (Or whatever it was) was left on the smooth floor. You keep up the pace, still listening carefully for the sound of Pinkie hopping up and down through the hall, and let out a sigh of relief when it sounds as if she's only three feet ahead of you.
Another half hour passes, and your hooves begin to ache again, but feel yourself become rejuvenated with newfound energy when you notice a small light at the end of the dark corridor, reaching out to you like a mother reaches out to her child. You can see Pinkie's outline hopping along thanks to this new light, and you can't help but speed up, trotting ahead of Pinkie to reach the source. You see the light brighten as you approach it, and you smile when you think you're almost there. Only to be instantly told by physics "You're already there" when you crash into something rock solid with a loud thud.
You can't even cry out in pain, due to your face being stuck to the solid object like a wacky character from a slapstick cartoon. You feel motion of the solid wall, and you swing with it, peeling off it like a sticker peels off paper, and fall to the ground in a daze.
You groan in pain, and pull yourself up, your eyes unfocused from the sudden impact. You stand on all four hooves, and barely manage to look up and see a snow white unicorn mare with a well-managed, curled lavender mane. Before you can even blink, she shrieks, and you feel something fly across the room and slap you in the face when her horn lights up. You barely manage to whimper before conscious slips away from your grasp, sleep numbing the pain of both of the previous impacts.
You open your eyes, greeted by a foreign ceiling in your sight and an ache to your head like a raging buffalo had bucked you in. You groan loudly in your misery, and you sit up, realizing you were in a fancy bedroom that looked like it belonged to one of the princesses, and find yourself sitting smack in the middle of a large, plush bed.
The entire bedroom looked like it belonged to one of the posh mares of Canterlot. You stumble as you crawl off the bed and onto the floor, managing to balance yourself again before walking towards the door. Your entire body ached like hell, but you needed to figure out where you were. You raise your ears when you hear muffled voices in the next room, and you speed up in your approach. You push open the door a notch, peeking through the crack to get a good look at what was going on without being immediately seen.
Through the crack in the door, you barely see Pinkie Pie speaking with the white mare who knocked you out before. You scowl at first, angry that she had hit you with that purse, then you realize that your sudden appearance in her....house, you were guessing, had likely frightened her.
As far as she knew, you could have been a robber, or worse, a rapist. Thinking back to the situation in the strange tunnel, you probably should have waited for Pinkie Pie to step through first, seeing as she was obviously friends with this mare. You raise your ears to listen in on their conversation, not quite ready to reveal yourself yet.
As you try to eavesdrop, you find it difficult to discern exactly what they were saying, but you had a good idea of what they were talking about. WHO they were talking about. Who else than yourself, the stupid colt who ran ahead of his friend in an ominous tunnel and got beaten by a mare with a purse?
"Sorry Pinkie...came out of NOWHERE....else was I.....to do..."
"It's alright! But....gentle......need your....agreed to the party!"
You suddenly jump as you hear the mare cry out.
"He's actually GOING?!"
It wasn't difficult to hear THAT. As you leaped in the air in surprise, your head hit the door panel, forcing you to cry out and announce your presence. Both mares turned to your direction, the only difference being the mare had a stunned look on her face. Pinkie, however, just smiled wider than ever.
"Oh, goody! You're awake!"
"Yeah, goody..."
You groan sarcastically as the added pain from hitting the door panel worsened your migraine. As you walk over to the pair, the lavender maned mare scoffed.
"Well, darling, you certainly have a knack for surprising ponies, don't you?"
You shrug, stopping next to Pinkie Pie.
"You'd be surprised how unsurprising I usually am."
Pinkie giggles.
"And you'd still be surprising her that way! Boy, you're GOOD. I should ask for your advice on the next surprise party I plan!"
You pause, carefully thinking over the sudden paradox Pinkie just gave you....does that make you surprising, or not, now?
You groan and bring your hoof to your head, as thinking over such a confusing matter was making your migraine even worse. Neither mares seem to notice as they resume their conversation. The white mare raises an eyebrow as she speaks to Pinkie.
"Pinkie, darling, I simply MUST ask....since WHEN was the carousel boutique a part of a complex underground passageway?"
Pinkie sighs in an exasperated tone.
"Well, DUH, Rarity. It's obvious!"
Both you and the mare Pinkie just called "Rarity" pause, confused once more. Finally, the silence breaks as you speak in response.
"Um, Pinkie...it's really not."
Pinkie sighed again.
"I'll give you a hint...it has to do with my secret ball emergency drop-offs!"
Again, you pause, trying to figure out what in Equestria Pinkie was hinting at. At last, you sigh, and shrug.
"I give up, Pinkie."
Pinkie sighs, and pats your shoulder.
"You'll figure it out eventually."
Theres an awkward silence, and both you and Rarity glance at each other in silent understanding. We never will. This time, Rarity breaks the silence with an impatient scoff.
"Pinkie, I'm glad to hear your friend has decided to attend such a grand party....but what exactly does it have to do with me?"
Pinkie giggles.
"Well, it's obvious! It's a MASQUERADE party. He needs a costume! And a GOOD one, so his uncle and best friend don't recognize him while he speaks to his modern day idol in secrecy to join his school so he can become successful and super-smarty and be happy and keep his friends at the same time!"
Rarity pauses to take all this information in, and sighs, turning to you.
"Alright....any friend of Pinkie's is a friend of mine. I'll make you the costume."
You smile, and nod gratefully.
"Thank you, Rarity."
Pinkie stops Rarity before she can move, for the first time a deadly serious look on her pink face.
"Rarity, you CANNOT tell anypony about this. We can't risk gossip going around like a wildfire!"
Rarity gasps.
"Me? Gossip? Hardly! Mum's the word!"
Pinkie presses her forehead against the mare's, looking her directly in the eye.
"Not good enough. Pinkie swear it."
You were surprised by the seriousness of her tone, but then again, you remember one time Pinkie caught on fire and and went into some kind of a berserk after one of her friends broke a pinkie swear. If breaking that kind of promise was so important that she, out of all ponies would do THAT, then it must be a binding promise. Rarity smiles, and speaks.
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
She quickly executes the appropriate hoof motions as she swears, finishing off by sticking her hoof into her closed eye.
Pinkie smiles, and hops away, giving Rarity back her personal space.
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
Rarity nods, and trots off to a different room. After a few minutes, the white mare returns, horn glowing to carry some measuring tape, several different colored fabrics, some sewing threads and needles, and...glitter. Before you can protest, Rarity immediately forces you onto a small catwalk with her magic, and begins making quick and precise measurements of your body length.
You open your mouth again to request no glitter, or anything girly for that matter, but again you're cut off when Rarity forcefully moves you away with her magic and replaces the catwalk with a mannequin of similar size and shape. The chic unicorn immediately gets to work on the costume, expertly sewing together fabrics around the mannequin's shape.
You open your mouth to speak, but get immediately cut off again by the mare. Rarity whips her head around, her mane bouncing with her motion and swinging out of her face as she hisses.
"LEAVE. I need complete concentration if I'm to get an acceptable costume done in time! If I ever DARED create a costume somepony would laugh at, I would be committing the worst crime in the history of fabulosity!"
You hold your hooves up in defense, slowly backing out with Pinkie, not wanting to somehow tick off the suddenly stressed unicorn. Rarity's horn glows, and the split second you exit the room, the door in front of you slams closed, and you can hear the click as it locks.
You sigh, and sit down on one of the overdressed chairs next to Pinkie Pie as you wait. Time was passing at an agonizingly slow pace, and your ears taunted your eyes and mind with curiosity as they force you to listen to the sound of her sewing and muttering. You thought Rarity would have at LEAST let you make personal requests on the costume's appearance and suchlike.
She had simply tossed you out without a second thought, before you could even ask WHAT she was planning to do with that glitter. As each minute passes, you take a glance at Pinkie Pie, who was sitting in the chair patiently with her lower hooves dangling on the seat like a little filly would, humming a song under her breath. Your eyes turn to the clock just above the front door, the seconds ticking away as time moved on.
11:00 AM
You sigh in boredom, and lean your head back against the chair. You take a glance at Pinkie again, and she's still waiting calmly and patiently. You sigh, and to pass the time, decide to set Pinkie on one of her usual rants.
"Pinkie, quick question; in your opinion, what's the best kind of party?"
You knew you had just set yourself for one of the longest conversations in the history of Equestria, but you were desperate for something to pass the time. Pinkie's eyes widen, and she smiles as she begins her rant, but her hyper-active speech pattern made it nearly impossible to discern what she was actually saying. She kept moving on from different kinds of parties, from normal parties to surprise parties to birthday parties, and even to a....gorilla party? Again, you could no longer keep up with the violently pink pony, and sigh as she chats your ear off for another Celestia-knows-how-long. Finally, you look back up at the clock, and found it was already 2:00 PM.
It's been four hours? It felt a LOT longer. Suddenly, Pinkie finally stops talking when the door opens, and Rarity trots out with her mane somewhat disheveled, a little glitter stuck on her hooves and a look of pride on her face.
"I've finished!"
You grin, and trot inside the room to view Rarity's creation. As you walk inside and the costume slowly comes into your view, you find your jaw slowly dropping as you inspected it more closely. The costume had a sort of blackish lavender color, with a dark red trim to it and a neat little hood that added a sense of mystery to the clothing. It was designed to wrap around your entire body, aside from your face, from head to tail. The hooves had nice, comfortable yet stylish boots on them, the cape set up to hide the wearer's tail without looking suspicious. The whole thing looked incredible....except for one problem.
The whole thing had a hint of glitter at every point. At each nook and cranny, you found lightly placed glitter that mixed with the fabric's color to give an interesting effect. But it was still just....girly. Cool looking, but girly. And to top it off, it didn't even hide your face. You turn to Rarity, who still had a look of pride on her face, nodded.
"Yes, yes, I know it's not PERFECT, but..."
You open your mouth to speak, but you're suddenly cut off when Rarity beams.
"Oh, who am I kidding? This is some of the best I've done, if I say so myself! Hang on, I simply MUST capture this!"
She squeals, and immediately grabs a camera with her magic, preparing to photograph the masterpiece. Suddenly, Pinkie jumps up, blocking the photograph and swiping the machine from Rarity's grasp.
"Ah ah ah! What if somepony sees the photo, and recognizes it from the Masquerade? We can't risk somepony finding out, and that was part of your pinkie swear, Rarity!"
Rarity's lip trembles, and she whines.
"B-but, you can't seriously mean that I can't keep some visual recording of this?"
Pinkie presses her forehead against Rarity's to look her directly in the eye.
"You pinkie swore, Rarity! And a pinkie swear is FOREVEEEEEEEEEEER."
She hissed this last part with some sinister menace, as if to break such a promise would be as terrible as to trip one of the princesses as they passed by. Then again, it probably was. Rarity gulps, and nods nervously.
"V-very well, Pinkie Pie....."
She turns to you, and manages to beam with pride again.
"Well, what're you waiting for, darling? Put it on!"
"Um..."
You try to tell Rarity you didn't really want the glitter, but she cuts you off again.
"Oh, right! Forgive me, Darling. Pinkie, come, give him privacy to put it on."
With that, both mares leave the room, and you groan as you turn to the costume. It DID take her four hours to make this thing....with or without without the glitter, it was still an excellent piece of work. You give in, and go over to the costume, unbuckling it from the mannequin and pulling it onto your own body. Rarity just said it was her best piece of work, and beggars can't be choosers. You look at yourself in the mirror, appreciating the amount of time and effort that was put into this costume. Besides, wasn't the point of wearing it so that nopony would recognize you?
That suddenly reminded you; you still needed a mask, or something that would hide your face. You call both mares back inside, and Pinkie darts into the room the split second you do. She grins, bouncing excitedly.
"You look awesome! Nopony could ever recognize you in that! I mean...who are you again?"
You chuckle at the joke, and turn to Rarity, who was still beaming with pride.
"Thanks, Rarity. It's great, but there's just one problem."
Rarity's pride vanishes the second you finish your sentence, disappointment in her eyes.
"A problem? What in the name of Celestia did I do wrong?"
You answer her question quickly, so as not to upset her.
"No, the costume's perfect! But it doesn't hide my face. I'll need something for that."
Rarity rolls her eyes.
"Darling, this piece of art would be ruined by any kind of mask! That is why I didn't add one."
You groan in frustration, and sit down.
"Rarity, I'm not wearing this costume to look good. I'm wearing it to hide my identity from Venture and Uncle. If my face isn't covered up, the costume fails it's job instantly."
Rarity sighs, and nods.
"Yes...I suppose it will have to do, even if it does ruin it's fabulosity. Hold on...."
Rarity gallops into the other room, and you hear the sound of shuffling cardboard as she explores a small closet at the back of the room. Eventually, she pulls out a small box labeled "Masks". The box was dustier than an attic, and it was obvious Rarity hadn't gone through it in years. She drops the box in front of you, and as you open it up, dust particles fly into the air and enter your lungs, forcing you into a small fit of coughs. After that little situation ends, you begin looking though it's contents. There were masks of all kinds inside, from paper mache crafts to cheap, plastic masks. Most of them didn't go with the costume, just as Rarity had said, and in all honesty, none really struck your fancy anyways. But, you still needed something to cover your face, so you had to decide.
So you sat there, searching through the box fruitlessly for a suitable mask. Eventually, you hear Rarity groan impatiently.
"Just pick something already!"
With that, you quickly grab the first mask within your reach, a white paper mache mask large enough to cover your entire face. It had neat, intricate designs along the the cheeks, and seemed to have been made as a mold for your face. You could see almost perfectly through the eye-holes, and it wasn't difficult to breathe through the mouth hole. In fact, the entire thing was terribly comfortable. You grin, and nod as you take it off.
"This works perfectly."
Rarity nods rather curtly, and you realize she was still upset about the mask ruining the appearance of the rest of the costume. You put the mask away inside your cloak, and turn to her.
"How much do I owe you?"
Rarity scoffs.
"As if I'd charge a friend! Consider it a gift, my dear. Besides, it was quite a...privilege, to create such a masterpiece."
She sniffs this last part, still upset about not getting to photograph it. You nod gratefully, surprised by this.
"Why, thank you..."
She nods, smiling.
"Of course, darling."
You turn to Pinkie, who was rubbing her hooves together excitedly.
"Goody! Now that you're dressed for the part, we can move on..."
You raise an eyebrow.
"Move on?"
She nods excitedly.
"Duh! Now that you have your costume, it's time for you to learn how to have fun!"