“Are you the Chair of Transportation and… Transportation and…”
“Infrastructure?” He shook his head and smirked. “That happens all the time. Her office is next door, but she’s not in at the moment.”
“Oh… okay. Thanks!” I shut the door, not wanting to waste any more of his time (and him mine). The answers I was looking for were probably not here, at least today. I turned around and descended the staircase in front of his office door. This way would probably lead to the first floor, eventually.
What else was there… Maybe I had to think outside of the box: If magic really was a part of the society, maybe there was a teleporting station, or something along those lines, that was considered common transit. Or, magic could be like a sport or a study. There were probably schools for…
Wha… How’d I…
I had reached the bottom of the stairs, as well as the secretary’s desk. Behind me was a staircase, leading all the way up to the office I had just emerged from. Seriously?
Glancing at the secretary, I shook my head. The organization skills of this government were lacking. Poor organization couldn’t be made up for, even if the building looked like a sandwich.
Well, the next thing to try would be magic university…
~ ~ ~
The Vanhoover Institute of Magic and Alchemy (what was it with all the long and proper nomenclature?) wasn’t too far away from the town hall. From what I could see, the campus didn’t seem very impressive. It looked like a regular-sized high school, but maybe it was just me. It did seem that “cities” here were smaller than “cities” in my own world.
Okay, so dimensional travel wasn’t a normal thing, after all. The secretary at the school also seemed to be confused by my question. She directed me to someone named Professor Lucid, who was in the “Luna hall.” I thanked her, and found the Lunar- Luna hall without much trouble.
The classroom could seat about a hundred; it was smaller than what I remembered about lecture halls. Just like the city. Everything about this place was… smaller. I liked it. More comfortable.
A blue horse was in the front, watching a chalkboard eraser whip back and forth across the wide board in the front. Maybe I could’ve learned to use my horn like that, too. It would’ve been kind of neat…
I walked down an aisle and helped myself to a desk in the front row, politely waiting for him to finish. He was erasing a plethora of symbols, some of which seemed familiar. I could spot a few derivative notations, limits, sigmas, and other reminders of the nightmare that was calculus. Most of the symbols, however, were indistinguishable. The closest thing I could think of was Egyptian hieroglyphics. Yep, very reminiscent of calculus.
He set the eraser down, and took a curious look at me. “I don’t seem to recognize you.”
I chuckled nervously. “Oh, I’m not a student here. I was wondering if you could help me, Professor, if you’re not too busy.”
He walked over to a pile of papers on his desk and shuffled them telekinetically. Since he didn’t object, I assumed it was my cue to continue. “Okay, now this might sound kinda ridiculous, but… I need to… teleport somewhere.”
“Mmm? Teleport where, exactly?” He began sorting his papers and putting them into a satchel.
“To… to another world.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Another world? You mean, another planet, another world?”
“I think what I’m looking for is… another dimension.”
At this, he set his papers back on the desk, and looked at me, surprised. “Dimension, hmm?”
I looked down at my white arms. “Yeah, um… I know it sounds kind of crazy, but… yes. Do you know of anyone that can help me?”
He paused for a minute, looking at me in a curious manner. Then, he blinked, and slid the papers into his satchel. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you in that respect. If I knew anypony who could conjure up a trans-dimensional spell, it’d be Celestia herself.” He swung his bag over his back. “Heh. Good luck with that, with the recent security influx.”
Whoa. Slow down. “Wait, who’s Celestia?”
He fastened a buckle on the satchel and rolled his eyes. “Celestia. Princess Celestia. Has a big palace in Canterlot. Hard to miss.” Canterlot…?
Seemingly uninterested in further inquiry, he strode past me and held open the door. “I’m afraid you have to leave, now. I’m required to lock the place up. What was your name, again?”
“Uh, Gouda.”
“I’ll see you out, then, Gouda. Have a good day.”
~ ~ ~
On to Canterlot, then. I remembered seeing the train station on the southern outskirts of the city. It wasn’t too far off from the wheat family property, actually. I was surprised I hadn’t heard the train during my visit.
The station looked… traditional. Very much unlike a light rail station, and more like a station from the old west. It was small (a common theme, here), and all wooden. If there was one thing I admired here, it was the simplicity. They were practical, at least. Nothing was too exorbitant (especially so in the town hall). I walked into the shack of a building that was there and approached the front desk…
…Wheat Flour?
What was she doing there?
Wheat Flour had planted her rump in front of a large map on the other side of the room, which highlighted the railroads across what I assumed to be the country. Half of me wanted to ask where she was going, but the other half wanted to take a look at the map, find “Canterlot,” and depart without bothering her.
I sat down next to her, joining her in surveying the map. It was a regional map, labeling the cities and forests and such. Many different colored lines snaked among the map, contrasting the white parchment the map was on. There was a helpful key at the bottom to show which ones were roads and which ones were tracks.
I wasn’t sure of exactly what I wanted to say, but I had learned from the last time. So, I started with the weather. “Nice day today, isn’t it?”
“Mm,” she said, still focused on the map. Come on, think of something…
“I’m heading to Canterlot tomorrow. Uh… going to visit some family there.”
“That’s nice.”
I was making progress. This was the first time she had spoken more than two words within a minute. Although, she wasn’t really talking to me…
“So, where are you planning to go?”
“Not sure.”
“Not sure? Taking a vacation this weekend?”
She shook her head silently.
“Moving?”
“Just a… change of scenery,” she said absently.
Change of scenery? Maybe her sister had been on an ousting spree. Oh, well. The wheat family wasn’t my problem anymore. I found Canterlot at the apex of the orange train tracks. It didn’t seem too far away from Vanhoover. I approached the counter and asked about the next departure.
“The next train to Canterlot will arrive in about an hour,” the ticket lady replied. “It’s five bits a ticket.”
“Five… bits?” What’s a bit?
“Yeah, five bits. It’s not that steep. So, ticket or no ticket?”
“Uh, never mind.” “Bits” were probably the currency of this society. Silly me. I thought I could get by without money. It was just like the real world.
I walked out of the train station and watched an eastbound tauntingly leave. I could’ve devised a plan to sneak on board without a ticket and exit at Canterlot… but that would’ve taken too much cunning. I wasn’t good at that kind of thing.
So, next on the agenda was to get some money. Not by stealing; I’d hate to humour 6 F 26 like that. I’d have to earn it, which meant finding an odd job to do somewhere around town. Five bits wasn’t that much, anyway. It was only worth, like, what? Seven and a half tomatoes?
The first place to pop into my head was Buckwheat Range. I could ask Aunt Millie to pay me in bits instead of food and shelter. But, obviously, Whole Grain had kicked me off of the property. I didn’t think I was allowed there again.
Well, it was time to look for a restaurant or something and offer to bus tables…
~ ~ ~
What. An. Afternoon.
Not a single place in Vanhoover was looking for extra help that day. Dishwashers, cashiers, gardeners, construction workers, sweepers, deliverymen– horses, flower pickers: all positions seemed to be filled. The unemployment rate must have been non-existent. Well, save for one...
I checked as many places as I could find. I even almost walked into a cheese shop, until I realized that the real Gouda was standing behind the counter. Yeah, that would’ve been ugly.
Even better, it started to rain. It seemed colder than usual, but that might’ve been amplified by my nakedness. As I explored the city, I had to duck under any available awning.
There was only one place left. I didn’t have much choice otherwise, and I already knew work there was happily accepted. As for Whole Grain, well… Aunt Millie would be back, and she seemed to overrule her nieces.
Eventually, after wandering in the general direction that I thought I had come from, the farm came into sight. I closed my eyes and returned to my changeling self; it was the form they were used to, anyway. Millie emerged from the barn with an umbrella over her head, and I caught up to her.
“Hey, Aunt Millie!”
She turned to me and squinted. “Well, I’ll be! Swissy did decide to come back! Whole Grain told me you up and left, and weren’t comin’ back!”
Speaking of which, behind her appeared Whole Grain, who didn’t look as pleased to see me. “Yes, Auntie, that’s what I recall him saying.”
Ignoring her, I turned to the violet pony and offered, “Miss Millie-”
“Oh, please! Aunt Millie will do just fine, darlin’.”
“Aunt Millie, I’d like to work just one more day on your farm, in exchange for five bits.” And then, remembering how guilty I had felt the other day, I added, “You don’t need to feed me, and you don’t ne-“
“Oh, you’re always spoutin’ nonsense, Swissy! ‘Course you can stay another night, you’re always welcome in my household!”
Gosh, she was such a sweet soul. The same couldn’t be said for the yellow one behind her. She was fuming, and I couldn’t blame her. I probably looked and acted like a mooching hobo.
I was grateful the milling took place inside, where it was dry. We took up the same posts we assumed the other day. More rolling, more tumbling, more grinding. I told myself that it’d only be another couple of hours or so, and I’d be home, not having to deal with any more Whole Grains for the rest of my life. I’d only see the tolerable kinds, like in Cheerios.
Time was moving too slowly. Admittedly, I was holding a little grudge against Whole Grain. She was rude, authoritarian, and a downright jerk. Her face told me she was wishing for my demise, or something. She was kind of like Carlos, my boss. That’s what he’d do all day; sit in his office and glare at me. He’d always have something to nitpick about at the end of the day, even if it was something stupid, like dot operators. Though, he let me talk for more than two seconds at a time.
That was the problem I was having. Who was so rude that they wouldn’t let another being talk to them? I just wanted to tell her one thing, and that was all.
“I’m going to-”
“No.”
Not this again. “Please, I just-”
“No!”
You know what? No. I shouted, “All I need is five flipping bits and I’ll be out of your life forever! It’s all I want! It’s all you want, darn it! Okay?!”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?!” she shouted back. She jumped down to a burgundy knapsack and shuffled her face around in it. She emerged with a sack in her mouth and threw it at me. “There. Five bits. Now, leave!”
“Fine,” I huffed as I stuffed the bag into one of my arm holes. I headed out, refusing to look at her. That whole trust thing already out the window, I remarked sarcastically, “it was fun- oof!”
A sledgehammer-like force rammed into my side, and I collapsed on the ground. I writhed as my left side exploded in pain. My lungs were fighting to regain air, jolting in short and wheezy breaths. I could see Whole Grain, who was in a kicking stance. She kicked me!
I limped out the door, Whole Grain seeing me out. I was soaked from the downpour, and in a lot of pain. What a jerk. I hated her. I hated this place-
“Swissy! Just in time for supper! We’d sure love it if you could join us!” Aunt Millie waved from inside the front door.
Oh, great.
~ ~ ~
Red potato casserole was served. I’d never heard of such a thing, but, I must say, it was delicious. Usually, I’m not a fan of casseroles, but that dish was like heaven on a plate. Aunt Millie was beaming, and going on about the great drought a couple of decades ago, and how the community came together, and shared recipes and fed each other, and so on and so forth. I was more focused on the casserole. That is, once I got past the throbbing pain in my side.
After a nostalgic sigh, Millie sat up and began eating the green beans she had been too busy talking about to eat. She piped up, “So, Swissy, you almost gone up and run off on us! What was the story, now? Here I thought you liked Vanhoover!”
“Yes, I like it. I’m just a little homesick, I guess. Life here seems to… have a different dynamic.”
She nodded until her mouth was empty. “Well, I can see that. For a minute, I was afraid we were the reason you’d left!”
“Oh, no. My welcome here was exceptionally warm. You’ve all been so hospitable,” I said to Whole Grain. She scowled in response.
“Oh, heavens, Swissy!,” Millie exclaimed. “If you so like, you could be a part of the family!”
“No-” said Whole Grain and I collectively. We paused, and I blurted, “It’s a wonderful sentiment, Aunt Millie, but I’ve got a family of my own. Besides, wheat isn’t really my thing, no offense. My calling lies in the cheese industry.”
“It’s your special talent, after all,” chimed in Whole Grain, somewhat sarcastically.
I swallowed a bite of green beans. “I also need to see my doctor back home. I’ve developed this nagging pain in my side.”
She shrugged. “Hard work is something to get used to, I guess.”
We stared at each other, neither of us ready to back down. Aunt Millie must not have noticed, for she continued in her inquiry. “Family of your own, you say? Next time y’all visit, you should introduce us!”
Heh, my family. Um…
Whole Grain had me covered. “I don’t think we’d have enough room, Auntie.”
Enough room? What was that supposed to… oh. Well, I couldn’t really take offense to that, but, by the way she said it, I did anyway. “Good point. Your prejudice does take up a hefty chunk.”
She leaned an elbow on the table to face me. “I’d offer up more space, if only you had left your mooch at home.”
“Because, I’m totally not penniless. Obviously, I have enough money anyway for a four star suite at the Hilton.”
“You probably had it better at the nest.”
“Ooh, somebody likes to make assumptions.”
“They’re not assumptions. They’re facts.”
“I- I’m sorry, did I miss some-”
“He’s a changeling, Auntie!” Whole Grain shouted.
An awkward silence. Millie’s lighthearted expression disappeared, and her ears drooped. “I’m sorry, darlin’, but I don’t quite-“
“Yes, Auntie! He’s a freaking changeling. He’s been taking advantage of you ever since he first came here!”
That wasn’t true! “I haven’t been- ow! Don’t do that!”
“How long’s it gonna take? We all know why you’re here, doofus. You’re not welcome here! You never were!”
Millie’s lower lip quivered. “Now, Grain dear, please show a little-”
“No,” I interjected. “It’s okay.” I looked over at Wheat Flour… or, rather, her seat. Apparently, she had already excused herself. “I don’t belong here. I’ve known that from the beginning. It’s not your fault, Aunt Millie. You’ve been very generous to me. So, thank you, and good night.”
“Good riddance,” Whole Grain muttered.
I excused myself from the table, carrying my plate over to the sink for Aunt Millie’s sake. She looked shocked, and a little sad. I felt terrible. What if that had been my own aunt? Ashamed, I excused myself out of the front door as Whole Grain watched.
It was still raining heavily, and the cold caused me to shiver. I could’ve slept outside, of course. Though, the barn was probably the better choice. Besides, they wouldn’t have minded one person sleeping in the barn for one night, would they? It wouldn’t cost them anything. Aunt Millie had technically given me permission already…
The rain’s pattering echoed through the barn. My bed hadn’t been cleaned up yet, so I lay down there. I felt drips on my nose, and my legs, and my back, and realized that the roof was leaking in that spot. I arose and found another – drier – place in the barn, albeit less comfortable.
I took out the bag that Whole Grain had given me, and emptied its contents. One, I wanted to see what “bits” looked like. Two, I wanted to ensure Whole Grain hadn’t gypped me. One, two, three, four, five... six? Huh. One too many. I resolved to spend it on a cherry or something for the next day’s breakfast.
I scooped up the bits back into the sack, and stuffed it into my arm-hole. One more night, and that’d be it. My head lowered to the planks of the floor. One… more…
Swimming.
The bottom of the ocean. A colorful fish was ahead of me, so I propelled myself towards it. I wanted to touch it, to be its friend. I reached out my hand…
But, as the fish turned around, there was no fish. It vanished. My eyes darted around, anxious to relocate that fish. Instead, I was all alone, and, alarmingly, running out of breath.
Then, I thought to look up. A single ray of light illuminated the surface. I kicked towards it, that beam of light coming closer and closer. I reached out to touch the surface, my lungs lurching for air. Almost there, almost…
Awake. I gasped upon awakening, drawing in a stray piece of hay. I choked on it and lay there, sputtering for a few minutes, until it had worked its way out. Groaning, I turned over on the hard ground- and rolled back over, because that side was still damaged. It was still dark out, and dreams were no fun to have. The rain had stopped, though.
Hmm… Did I really need sleep, anyway?