//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Twilight Sparkle! // by defender2222 //------------------------------// Twilight groaned, rubbing her head. Her vision was blurry and her mouth felt like she had gargled with sand (and she hadn't done that since pledge week in college.). She weakly reached up and rubbed her horn (which isn't as dirty as it sounds) and smacked her lips together (which might be dirtier that it sounded). "Wha?" She mumbled, pulling herself from the snow drift she laid in. "Twilight..." a gentle voice called out. The unicorn blinked, finally noticing the blue ghostly pony that was standing before her. "Huh?" "Twilight... you must go to the Dagobah system. There you will be trained by Yoda... the jedi knight who trained me." "What do you-" Suddenly the figure rippled and Twilight realized that she wasn't staring at a blue ghost but a shivering Rainbow Dash. "I said come on, we need to get inside!" The pegasus grabbed Twilight by the forelegs and helped her stand up. "There we go," Rainbow said, brushing the snow from Twilight's mane. "Alright, let's get inside." Twilight, her vision finally clearing, realized that the two of them were no longer anywhere near Fluttershy's cottage. Looking over her surroundings, Twilight realized she had some how ended up in Ponytown, Ponyville's neighbor town (and rival... the Fighting Manticores had always hated the Blue Smoozes of Ponytown). The unicorn looked about the decorated streets and brightly lit window shops and, remembering the insanity she had dealt with so far, couldn't help but wonder if it wouldn't be better to head to Dagobah (even if she didn't know where or what it was). "Rainbow Dash, what is going on?" "I'll tell you on the way." Rainbow began to tug Twilight towards the doors of a large store. The building was easily 4 times the size of the Ponyville Library and all over it there were signs stating it was 'Your Hearth's Warming Stop!". A stream of ponies were moving both in and out, shoving and pushing at each other when they weren't cursing and snarling at slower shoppers to move their flanks. Twilight looked at this mob scene and found herself dragging her hooves in a vain attempt to stop Rainbow. "Well, I was flying over to actually come find you when I bumped into you-" "You crashed into me," Twilight reminded her. "You say tomato, I said potato... the point is that I found you. You had decided to take a sleep in the snow so I-" "You knocked me unconscious." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You hold onto a grudge like a war widow. Anyway... I didn't have time to wait for you to wake up so I flew you here." "And dropped me in another snow bank." "Yeah... you just looked so comfy..." "Ok." Twilight chewed on her lip. "Next question, we are where exactly?" Twilight asked as they stepped inside. The answer was presented to her in the way of 40 full aisles of the latest toys and gadgets, all in bright packages and shiny plastic that for some reason makes collects go insane if it isn't mint. Holiday music was playing through the overhead speaker and there was the constant chiming of registers as the salesponies tallied up orders and collected bits. "Super Happy Toy Emporium!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in glee. "Only the most awesome of awesome toy stories!" "That settled the where... now, how about the why?" Rainbow Dash grinned. "Well, every year I buy toys for needy colts and fillies." Twilight smiled and the tension that had been building in her temples lessened. "That... that is so wonderful, Rainbow Dash!" She hugged her friend. "Ever since I began planning this party everypony has been making me feel like no one understood the true meaning of Hearth's Warming Day. And then you... you do something like this... thank you Rainbow!" The cyan pegasus awkwardly patted her friend on the back. "Yeeeaaaahhhhh... could you maybe stop hugging me? I have enough trouble with ponies thinking I'm gay without you mauling me in public." Twilight instantly let go. "Besides, I think Fluttershy would be mad if she found out you were cheating on her." "...Fluttershy and I are NOT dating." "Then why did Mrs. Cake catch you two making out?" "Fluttershy was trying to CPR and thought in involved tongue... can we just move on and get to shopping?" Rainbow nodded rapidly, zipping over and grabbing a shopping cart. "Works for me!" Twilight began to push her way through the mob of last minute shoppers, marveling at the number of ponies that waited till the end of the season before doing they shopping. "So, how does this work? Do you have a list from each child and we carefully pick out a meaningful gift that will help ease them through the tough times they are facing?" "Yeah... if by that you we just grab whatever we can find that looks expensive and throw it in the cart." "I didn't... oh, never mind," Twilight grumbled, already feeling her stress headache coming on again. "How many more gifts do you need to buy?" "All of them." Twilight frowned. "Why did you wait so long to buy the gifts?" "Because I am lazy... duh." The pegasus darted over to a shelf, inspecting some toys. "Oooooh, these look noisy!" Rainbow threw several Tydalimus Prime and Celestiatron figures into the cart. "Let's see, what else..." Twilight looked over the end caps that were being picked apart by shoppers and shook her head. "Seriously, some of this stuff I don't get. I mean, what happened to Cabbage Patch Foals?" "They redesigned them," Rainbow said, pointing to an endcap full of foal dolls that, with their overly exaggerated features and over abundance of makeup, looked like they were mini hookers. "Every pony wants to be hip and cool." "Not me," Twilight said, before scowling when Rainbow began to laugh. "You know what I meant!" Using her magic, she grabbing a stuffed doll from a different shelf and looked it over. "Seriously? I can't believe they are making Tickle-Me-Luna dolls." Twilight reached down and wiggled her hoof against the plush Luna's belly. "Thou art stimulating our belly to produce sounds of merriment," the doll said. "We shall respond in kind: HA... HA... HA!" Twilight moaned, her ears ringing and her mane nearly torn from her scalp from the doll's 'laughter'. The unicorn reached up and tried her best to get her hair back in place. "Ok... let's not buy this one." "Yeah!" Rainbow said, floating back over with five of the dolls clutched in her forelegs. "We need more that a single doll." She dumped her find in the cart and continued to scour for more. "Let's see... do you think they would like Cadencation?" "What now?" Twilight said, pushing the cart over to a demo of the game. On the board there was a lewd image of Cadence lying on her bed, several holes cut in her body with little bits of plastic embedded inside. "Ooooookkkk..." "You've never seen this game?" Rainbow said in surprise. " It is so cool, watch!" Rainbow grabbed the tweezers and touched the side of one of the holes. The board let out passionate screams and pants the longer Rainbow held the tweezers to the side of the hole. "Man, this is hilarious." Twilight, however, wasn't convinced. "Can't we just get the needing foals Hungry Hungry Parasprites instead?" "Sure... Oh, and grab an Angry Gildas game too!" Twilight opened her mouth to question the mere existance of that board game, then promptly shut her mouth and did as she was told. She reached over to snag the box, only to find herself playing tug of war with Lyra and Bon Bon. "Oh, hi there!" Twilight said happily. "Are you girls shopping too?" "Yup... now give us the box!" Lyra began to pull hard and Twilight began to tug back. "Uh, no... I found this first." "Doesn't matter, I need it!" "Listen, this is going to a needy colt or filly..." Bon Bon scoffed. "Who cares about that? We are buying this because it is a rare collector's item! We can wait a day and then sell it to some desperate parent for 10 times the bits." "I am going to use the money for therapy sessions!" Lyra stated calmly. "You... you would actually try to make a profit on Hearth's Warming Day?" "Hey, mama Bon Bon didn't raise no fool! Now gimme!" "No!" Rainbow called out, joining the fight. "We saw it first and WE'RE going to sell it for a ton of money!!" "I thought you said these were for needy fillies and colts!" Twilight shouted. "That was before I found out it was worth something!" "This... this is ridiculous!" Twilight exclaimed. "We are fighting over a children's toy!" She loosened her grip and stared into Bon Bon and Lyra's eyes. "Just look at yourself and think about-" "Yoink!" Caramel said, snatching the game from the arguing females. "Nice going!" Bon Bon screamed. "That was our booze money!" She lashed out, punching Twilight in the face. "Hey, you want a fight you can have one!" Rainbow shouted. tackling Bon Bon. Soon all the ponies in the store were shoving and pushing and stealing from each other. Lyra was using a container of LEGOs to beat up Caramel, while two earth ponies were wagging half of a damaged doll at each other, screaming that the other caused the damage. The register operators called for calm but none of the ponies in earshot showed any concept of hearing them. "ENOUGH!" They did hear that. "Uh... you ok Twi?" Twilight turned, her dark stare at all the fighting ponies. "Look at you all! Is this what Hearth's Warming Day has become? A bunch of stallions and mares fighting over toys? Where is the love and the respect and the friendship? One of you must remember this! Is this how you want to spend your holidays, fighting like wolves over bits of plastic?" Every pony grew silent. "YES!" The crowd roared before resuming their fight. "No..." Twilight snarled, her eye twitching. "No.... NO!" The crowd went quiet again as Twilight rocketed into the air, her mane and tail on fire and her coat a bright white. "NO!" "Run!" Rainbow Dash screamed, pushing her cart of toys towards the exit as Twilight blew out a fireball, setting several shelves on fire. "Twilight Sparkle will kill us all!" another pony screamed as Twilight began to burn every toy and game she could find, screaming in rage as she did so.