//------------------------------//
// The Campsite 
// Story: Trapped 
// by Gylden Glor 
//------------------------------//

	"Wake up! C'mon, get up, you two!"
I rub my temples as Scootaloo's loud shrieks of excitement pierce through my forehead.
"C'mon, you two! Rainbow, we've gotta go to the doctor before we go camping! Applejack is waiting downstairs! C'mon, c'mon!"
I open my eyes, and sit up,rubbing the sleep out of them. Rainbow sits up with a grunt, and smiles at the hyperactive filly.
"Heya, squirt," she says, jokingly. 
"Come on, Rainbow! Applejack's waiting! We could get your wings fixed right now!"
"Alright, alright, I'm gettin' up, hold your horses..."
I stand as Rainbow Dash lazily rolls out of bed. I roll my eyes, and use my foot to assist her.
"Ow!" She cries as she hits the floor with a thud. "Okay, I'm awake now, Peter! You didn't have to kick me out of bed!"
"Don't care," I shrug. "Now, c'mon. I wanna see what your wings look like when you fly."
Rainbow Dash immediately stands, and stares at me with a blush. "Uhh...Do you mean..."
"No," I respond, flatly. "I mean that I want to observe how your muscles function in comparison to Scootaloo's. I'd like to get an MRI of you, but, whatever."
Rainbow raises an eyebrow, and I simply walk out of the room. "Hurry up, Rainbow! D'you wanna fly, or not?"
Within several seconds, she's cant up to me, and is stretching her wings in excitement. "I may actually get these damn bandages off," she muses with a small smile. I nod, and we greet Applejack, who is waiting just outside the library.
"Huh?" Rainbow Dash mutters, looking skyward. "Applejack, the sun isn't even up yet!"
"Ah know," Applejack responds. "Ah wanted t' get'cha up nice an' early, jus' so you could get your wings fixed now."
"Wait, you mean it's definite?"
She nods, and Rainbow Dash is gone in a flash, a small dust cloud the only thing that remains of the cyan Pegasus. I watch in amazement as she leaves a rainbow trail in her wake, and quickly arrives at the hospital, about three hundred yards away.
About a half hour later, she's flying back, a small rainbow trail falling behind her. She quickly gains speed, and, eventually...
Boom.
I feel the Sonic Rainboom shudder through my very being. I feel euphoria unlike I have ever known, and I can't help but smile in wonder. I feel my stomach shudder as the sonic waves reach me, and I immediately associate the sensation with someone beating a bass drum about five inches away from my face.
A plethora of colors spread around the area of origin of her celebratory Sonic Rainboom, and her ecstatic shouts fall into the wind behind her. After doing a few loops, and making an image of pure excitement with her trail of corporeal rainbow, she lands right next to me, her mane and tail glowing, and her body giving off remarkable heat.
"Awwww, yeah! I am back in action!" She cries, flexing her now-naked wings to show them off. "I'll meet you guys up at the first campsite! Gotta exercise my wings, after all!"
"D'you even know where it is?" Applejack asks as Rainbow prepares to take off.
"Uh," Rainbow says, pressing a hoof to her chin. "Nope."
"Rainbow, that was so cool!" Scootaloo cries as she runs out of the library. She had been standing by the window, so she could watch the Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow Dash tosses her mane in superiority.
"Well, of course it was!" She declares. "I am the greatest, after all." 
"Ditto," I say, observing her fur, intrigued. "Technically, you shouldn't be alive right now. You should be a husk of a pony, but you were somehow able to withstand enough energy to split the light spectrum..."
Rainbow simply shrugs. "Whatevs. So, Applejack, where's the first camp site?"
Applejack holds up a map, which Rainbow observes for a full five seconds before taking off. "See ya there!" She shouts. I sigh as she flies away.
"What, missin' yer' gal already?" Applejack asks.
"No," I respond. "I just don't want to have to carry her bag..."
Applejack frowns. "Well, Apple Bloom and Ah have our own bags, so Ah'm afraid we can't help ya' there..."
I nod, and enter the library. I return a few seconds later with three bags on my shoulder, and one for Scootaloo. The third bag has my iPad, my iPod, my headphones, the tranquilizer-loaded pistol (which I don't know how I got,) and the morph suit and suit that resemble the Slender Man. I have no idea where I got that, either.
I drop Scootaloo's bag on the ground for her to pick up, and my palms begin to sweat.
"Be right back," I say, before entering the library once more. I make a beeline for the kitchen, and immediately search for cooking supplies, and a knife.
I'm going to hunt while I'm camping.
I haven't had meat in too damn long. If I have to sneak away to kill even a rabbit, and bury its body afterwards, I will. I just need some meat, because I'm afraid that the profound lack of nutrition I've been getting from pony food isn't exactly good for me. I could potentially attempt eating hay, as I have no idea what kind of biological changes occurred during my arrival here, seeing as how this is apparently my heaven. Or something. But I may be able to digest hay-based foods. But I'm kind of afraid to even try eating it, as I already had my appendix removed, and the appendix was used to monitor the digestion of foods such as grass and hay, so I don't know if I can actually digest hay...But, whatever. And wow, my thoughts are about as concise as Picasso's most chaotic drawing.
After a little while, I've found a rather sharp knife - presumably for cutting through stale bread - and some salt, a pot, and a ladle. I may try to make a stew, but I'm not exactly a cook, so...it may end up being really shitty meat. If anything, I could make a spit, and roast my kill over a small fire...
Whatever. I mean, I've never killed an animal before, so it might be difficult for me. I just hope I can bring myself to do it, because I reaaaaaally want some meat...
After packing the supplies away in my own bag, minus the pot, I leave the library, and take care to lock the door behind me. I nod to Applejack, who simply turns.
"We've got t' get Apple Bloom," she explains as she walks off. I roll my shoulders, the weight of my bags causing me slight back pain. Scootaloo rides on her scooter just between Applejack and I, using her wings to propel herself forwards. It's remarkable, actually, to see her wings operate like that. Quite impressive, really.
We continue to walk, and Applejack and I make idle conversation as Scootaloo zips around us.
"So, are there any farms like Sweet Apple Acres back on Earth?"
"Oh, yeah," I respond. "But they're mostly industrialized. Like, there are corporation owned farmlands that span about five thousand acres or so. I mean, there are a lot of privately owned farmlands, but they're mostly ranches and barns, and most of them have fallen into disuse. We have genetic engineering now, so we honestly don't need much farmland to get a bunch of harvest. Like, we've more than tripled how much produce we can gain from a single plant of wheat by making them smaller, and yield more...wheat. So, yeah."
Applejack nods, but I can tell she doesn't understand half of what I said. "So, what were ya sayin' 'bout the irrigation system in th' Acres?"
I explain my design again, and add in a few new elements, such as filters and emergency valves. She nods along, and as I finish explaining it, she smiles at me. "Y'know, yer' pretty smart," she compliments me. I thank her, and she continues to speak. "Maybe ya' could help me draw up some designs for irrigation. And, Ah'm gonna be perfectly honest, Ah don't see what yer' doin' with Rainbow Dash. A smart kid like you shouldn't be wastin' yer' time with a feather brain like her..."
I shrug. "I'll admit, she is kind of...lacking, in the department of intelligence," I respond. "But I enjoy spending time with her. Yeah, maybe she's not as smart as Twilight and I, but she's still pretty smart."
"What makes ya' think yer' as smart as Twi'?" Applejack asks, with a smirk.
In response, I look to her, and dictate every equation and its bearings upon reality to her. I explain the difference between type 1 and 2 projectiles, I explain momentum, impulse, collisions, and centripetal force, and I also explain the law of gravity, and dictate the number known as the Gravitational constant. I then move on to Chemistry, ignoring her as I ramble on, drawing on everything I can think of. Jumping to philosophy, I explain Plato's allegory of the cave, as well as Aristotle's idea of Essence, Form, Substance, and Accident. I then list half of the muscles in the human body, and about a third of the bones. I explain electrons, neutrons, protons, quarks, and String Theory. I dictate the admittedly little I know about Shakespearian literature, and then move on to one of my most beloved topics, in terms of culture: Lovecraftian literature, spanning from his first novella to the last of his compilations. As I finish speaking, we're walking back from Apple Jack's home, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are watching as I speak, and Applejack hangs her head down, annoyed beyond annoyance at how much I've spoken.
When I've paused for about several minutes, Applejack raises her head. "Are...Are ya' done, Sugarcube?"
I smile at her. "Quite. But there's still a lot I haven't spoken about, if you want me to-"
"NO!" She shouts, shoving a hoof into my mouth. Applejack pulls back with a slight blush. "Ah mean, no, thanks."
I spit out the taste of cloven and dirt. It's absolutely disgusting. I look up, and realize that we've arrived at the forest, through which our first campsite lies.
"My dears!"
We turn at the call, and see a mountain, slowly lumbering towards us. Rarity is trotting up to us, wearing what I can only describe as a babushka and some sunglasses. I facepalm, and can't help but guffaw as Sweetie Belle tugs along the cart of luggage.
"Child labor much?" I ask as she approaches. Rarity huffs, and flips her mane.
"Please! As if you expect me to actually carry such an unbearable load!"
"Then why'd you bring so much? We probably won't use any of it," I inform her, struggling to see the top of her artificial mountain. I can swear that there's a vulture circling the apex.
"Oh, whatever," Rarity dismisses me with a huff. "I'll be the one laughing when you can't-" She points a hoof at me, and falls silent. "Uh, how exactly do you manage yourself, my dear? You don't seem to have the same features as a pony..."
I make a classic "ya don't say" face, and say, well..."Ya don't say." This elicits laughter from the ponies around her, and I gesture towards my chin. "I shave my beard, I inform her. She pouts at me as we continue to walk on.
"You didn't have to be so nasty about it," she mutters as we begin our trek into the forest.
Within five seconds, Rarity has started to whine.
"Are we there yet?" She asks. I turn, and stare at her incredulously. 
"We've been walking for, like, five minutes!" I declare. "Not even! Look; we can still see Ponyville! Like, you serious?"
Rarity huff at me. "You don't have to be so rude about it..."
I nod. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I'll try to keep my temper under check."
Rarity nods in approval. "Thank you! You see that, Sweetie Belle? That's a true gentlecolt!" 
Sweetie Belle rolls her eyes with a sigh. "Okay, Rarity...Just, come on, we've got to keep going..."
Rarity nods. "Yes, yes, of course..."
I turn, and exchange a glance with Applejack.
"Ya' might wanna put on yer' headphone-things," she tells me in a hushed voice. "You'll go crazy if ya' don't like t' hear whinin'."
As if on cue Rarity gasps, and declares that she got her hoof dirty. I grind my teeth, and immediately take out my iPod and headphones. I pop them over my head, and play on shuffle, starting from the song "Another One Bites the Dust." I nod along to the beat, and whisper the lyrics to myself as I walk along.
Eventually, I lose myself to the music, and the methodic thumping of my feet upon the packed earth. I almost lose my balance for a bit, but manage to catch myself a second before I hit the ground. As my headphones slide off, I begin to hear frantic yelling.
"Peter?"
"Peter, where are you!?"
I turn in confusion, and find that I'm no longer on a trail. I facepalm, and begin to chuckle to myself.
"Yo," I cry out, loud enough to disturb the birds surrounding me. I hear a relieved sigh, and immediately see Applejack's head pop out from behind a tree.
"There y' are," she sighs. "Ya' jus' wandered off about a half hour ago! We turned our heads for a minute, an' you were gone!"
I smile sheepishly. "Sorry. Maybe I'll walk in the back for now, so I can watch you and keep myself on the path..."
"Doesn't matter," she tells me. "Ya' wandered off while we were settin' up camp. Rainbow is worried sick about you."
I frown. "Sorry," I mutter. "Don't apologize to me," Applejack tells me. "Apologize to her."
I nod, and follow her back to the camp.
"Peter!" I immediately hear. I look over to Rainbow Dash, who is kindling a small fire surrounded by log seats. "Where were you!?"
I shrug. "Lost."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, no duh. Anyway, come sit down, we're gonna have breakfast. Rarity's making it now."
I nod, and sit down on the log. Scootaloo immediately jumps onto my lap as I begin to put away my headphones, and pulls out my iPad with her teeth.
"Youf wanfa finish that game?" She asks me, smiling through the gray Smart Case. I smile, and take it from her mouth. "Sure," I respond, booting up the game. Scootaloo smiles, and begins to direct my actions.
"Whoa!" Rainbow shouts out. I look up, and guffaw in amazement.
Rarity has just opened a box, and out sprung a giant fucking tent. It's like a legit house! I don't even...
"How'd that fit in there?" I ask, incredulous.
"I had Pinkie Pie design a tent for me," Rarity explains. "She is superb at fitting big things into small spaces."
I immediately begin to snicker. "What?" Rarity asks, with a small frown.
"Big things, into small spaces," I echo. "If you know what I mean..."
Rarity blushes, and Applejack throws me a disparaging glance. Rainbow punches me on the arm, chuckling. "That's gross, dude..."
I shrug, and Scootaloo looks up in confusion. "I don't get it," she mutters.
"You will when you're older," I tell her.
"I'm older now," she says. "By a second. And I still don't get it."
"In a few years," I dismiss her. "Now, back to the game."
Scootaloo nods, and accepts the replacement to satiating curiosity. Rainbow Dash leans over, and watches as we destroy the beings of darkness.
"That's a pretty cool looking game," Rainbow admits. "Mind if I try?"
"Your hoof can't work the touch screen," I inform her. "Scootaloo already tried."
Rainbow shrugs. "Alright then. So, Scoots like playing it even though she's not...playing it?"
"Yeah!" Scootaloo cries out. "It's fun, because of all the cool stuff going on on the screen! Hey, attack him!"
I nod, but miss the enemy by a margin. "Oh, what the hay, Peter?"
"Hey," Rainbow Dash spits, "watch how your mouth." Scootaloo shrinks back, and I raise an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, who simply returns to watching the game as Scootaloo continues to order me around.
"Yes!" Scootaloo cries as we defeat the last boss of the continent. "We beat the game!"
"No, we didn't," I inform her. "Actually, far from it."
She guffaws as the next continent loads. "Let's go!" She cries in excitement.
"Okay, that's enough you two," Rainbow Dash declares. "It's time for breakfast Put that away."
Scootaloo sighs. "Aww, can't we play for a little bit longer?"
"No," Rainbow responds. "It's time to eat, kiddo. C'mon."
She sighs, and I pat her on the back. "We can play it later," I tell her. "In the tent."
Scootaloo smiles, and nods. "Yeah!"
I accept the breakfast that is offered to me, and stare down at it.
"Hay?" I ask.
"I just worked to perfectly season that hay," Rarity cries, "and all you can do is complain about it!?"
"I...I can't eat hay," I tell her, sheepishly. "Humans can't digest hay."
Rarity blinks, and sighs. "Very well, then. I shall fetch you some bread, my dear..."
My senses spike, and I realize that now is the perfect time to hunt. It's already dark out, and I do have a craving for some meat...
"Actually," I declare, stealthily taking the knife from my bag and shoving it into my pocket, "I think I'll go get some berries."
"Let me come with you," Rainbow declares.
"No," I respond, as I shove the salt into my pocket. "Have to go alone."
She rolls her eyes, and doesn't notice as I pull the tranquilizer gun from my bag, as well as the box of matches I took from Twilight's kitchen. By the time I'm prepared, my pockets are bulging slightly.
"I'll be right back," I explain as I quickly depart. The ponies watch, confused, as I delve into the brush.
I take out the knife, and inspect the blade. Now that I think about it, it may not be just for bread. The name "Spike" inscribed into it suggests that it was used to cut gems.
Perfect for cutting veins, eh?
Wait, I can't use this! It's Spike's own, special knife! I can't possibly defile it with the blood of animals! I could clean it, but its use would never be cleared. It embodies the small amount of innocence left after Spike's death, and I can't just take that away from Twilight...
So, I put it back in my pocket, and pull out my tranquilizer gun. I decide that I'll find a sharp rock to cut the skin with.
I proceed into the brush, holding my now armed armament ahead of me as I crawl through the branches.
A bunny hops up to me, and I aim the barrel of my gun at where I know its heart is, in hopes that tranquilizer straight to the heart will end up causing total organ failure and killing it.
My finger rests on the trigger, and it sniffs at the gun, before chewing it. After a few seconds, it looks up at me, and I can't help but smile at it.
The thing is so adorable...
But, it's no Chinchilla.
And, a man's got to eat, right?
I'm about to pull the trigger, when I realize the danger of doing this.
If I inject tranquilizer right into its heart, its entire body will be full of it within seconds. And, no matter how much I cook it, it will cause me to go unconscious, or at least get some kind of food poisoning.
Plus, I'm used to eating industrial food. I can't just switch to cooking raw meat, y'know?
So, I put on the safety, and reach out a hand to the bunny. It immediately rubs up against my hand, whereas I expected it to dart away in fear, just like the bunnies of earth. However, seeing as how ponies have mostly befriended wild animals, caring, tender gestures must be immediate invitations for them.
It climbs into my hand, and I can't help but smile at how cute it is. Thank God I didn't kill this little thing...
It chitters at me, and I can't help but smile. But that smile quickly fades as it pulls out a sharpened stick, and brandishes it at me like a sword.
I immediately think back to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and decide that the best course of action would be to:
"Run away!" I cry, dropping the beast just before it attempts a swipe at me. I run back towards the camp, and glance behind me to see that there's an army of them gathering. I continue to flee, dodging trees and roots, until, finally, I trip, landing by the outskirts of our campsite.
I turn around, and use my feet to push myself away from the forest, and eventually end up pressed against a tree.
"Peter?" Applejack calls. "What in the hay...?"
Just then, the vicious bunnies burst from the brush like a tidal wave, and swarm me. I panic, and attempt to get out of the way, before they eventually have a bunch of tiny ropes made of saplings holding me down.
A rabbit jumps onto my chest, and holds up a carrot, as if in victory.
Just then, a flurry of wind kicks up, and I turn to see that Rainbow Dash is flapping her wings at the bunnies. They quickly run away, terrified by the Pegasus as I beak free of my bonds with no problem whatsoever.
"Weirdest day ever," I mutter as I watch them scamper away.
"Peter, you okay?" Rainbow Dash asks. "Those rabbits were super weird!"
I nod at her. "Yeah, no fucking shit..." I sigh as I catch my breath. Applejack rushes over, and gives me a questioning glance.
"Now, what in the hay was that all about?"
"I don't know," I mutter. "And I'm not sure I want to...They may have been shoggoths..."
"What, like the Lovecraftian thing ya' told me about?" Applejack asks. I look up in surprise. "You were actually listening?"
"Like there was anythin' else t' listen to," she grumbles. I smile. "I feel humbled, my dear Applejack."
"Yeah, whatever," Rainbow Dash cuts across. "Hey, what's that thing in your hand?"
I look down, and see that the pistol, loaded with tranquilizers, is still in my hand. I give an evil grin, before pointing it at Rainbow.
"Here," I say. "Let me show you..."
After a few seconds, I disengage the safety, and fire the gun at a nearby tree. The projectile sticks in the bark , which means that the formula for the momentum would me m1v1 + m2v2 = 0. 
Rainbow examines it in awe, and then looks back to me. "So, did that thing shoot that out?"
I nod, and decide against putting the safety back on, since my hand isn't on the trigger. "It's full of tranquilizer darts."
"Can I try!?" Rainbow asks excitedly, before snatching it, and hovering just out of my reach.
Wow, I really regret not putting that fucking safety on now.
The cyan Pegasus holds it, fumbling with it before eventually bumping the side of with with a hoof, hard enough to set it off. The projectile fires out, and goes right through Applejack's hat, pinning the Stetson to a nearby tree. Applejack ducks for cover, and frowns up at the cyan Pegasus.
"Oops," Rainbow mutters as she holds the gun out to me, "sorry..."
"You see, this is why women belong in the kitchen!" I cry as I snatch the gun from the cyan Pegasus. Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who has since recovered her hat, both look at me in pure rage.
"Peter?"
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash?"
"We'll give you five seconds to get back to the campfire before we beat the shit out of you."
"Duly noted." With that, I scurry back to the campfire, and sit on a log obediently.
"Oh? So you decided you wanted the bread after all?" Rarity asks, observing my profound lack of berries. I nod, and she smiles, retreating into her tent, only to return with a few pieces of toast. "Eat up, dear. Wouldn't want to get hungry during your hike today!"
I nearly choke on the toast I'm eating. "Hike!?"
"Yeah," Applejack responds. "Ah thought ya knew we'd be hikin'? Don't you normally do that when ya' camp?"
"Well...This is my first time camping," I admit. "I...I'm not that much of a fan of physical activity...I mostly prefer to stay at home and play video games."
Applejack smirks at me. "Well, we're gonna do a mighty fine job of changin' that today. Ain't that right, Rainbow?"
Rainbow Dash nods, and I gesture towards Rarity. "What about her? Won't she come along?"
"Oh, heavens no," she protests. "I would never subject myself to such filth as there is in...hiking..."
Sweetie Belle shrugs. "Whatever, your loss. You get to stay here, then. Alone."
I raise an eyebrow, and Rarity begins to fidget. "Oh, alone, you say? Well...That gives me ample time to, ah...uhm..." She sighs. "Alright, fine, I'll go."
"Rarity, if you wanna stay, I can stay with you," I volunteer. "Besides, I'm not that into nature, anyway."
"Then why'd you make such a big deal about getting berries?" Rainbow asks. I glance her over a few times, and sigh.
"C'mon," I mutter as I drag her aside. Once we're in private, she raises an eyebrow at me. "What's all this about?"
"I wasn't trying to get berries," I explain with a sigh. "I was going to hunt something. I haven't had meat in so long, Rainbow..."
"You WHAT!?" Rainbow cries, a mad frown contorting her features. I shrink back, and Applejack and Rarity burst in.
"Peter, what in the hay did'ya do?" Applejack sighs.
"He was going to kill an innocent animal!" Rainbow declares. I cringe as she shouts. "Just for food!"
Applejack and Rarity stare at me, and I simply shrug. "What? I'm not like you guys. I have to eat meat. It's part of my diet! If I just stop, my body could go into shock."
Applejack sighs. "Why didn't ya jus' say so?" She asks. "We know that there're animals that need t' eat meat t' survive. We're fine with you killin' an animal, so long as you only kill what you need."
I sneer at Rainbow Dash. "So why'd you flip out so much about me hunting, Rainbow?" I ask her, rather pointedly. She blushes, and shrinks back a bit. "I...I guess Fluttershy's rubbed off on me," she mutters. I can't help but chuckle, and I stand, stretching my limbs to get the blood flowing.
"So, I could go hunting right now?" I ask, eager to get some meat. Applejack nods, and gestures for me to follow her.
"Ah brought a knife, in case we need t' cut through any wood," she explains. "Now, jus' make sure you wash yerself up before you come back, alright? We don't wanna see no blood on you."
Rarity and Rainbow follow us, incredulously.
"Applejack, I don't see how you could possibly be okay with this," Rarity states. Rainbow Dash nods. "Yeah! For once, I agree with Rare!"
Applejack sighs, and turns to Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow, if yer' gonna have a healthy relationship wit' Peter, yah've got to understand him and what he needs. If he needs meat, then you let him hunt! You should've expected this kinda stuff when you signed up for a relationship with, well...an alien."
Rainbow nods. "I know, I know it's just..."
"Different," I suggest. Rainbow nods with a sigh, and  Applejack gives me a knife, holding the hilt in her mouth.
"Thanks," I mutter as I accept it. I put it in my pocket, and look to Rainbow for permission.
"Fine," she grunts. "Just go..."
I nod, and delve back to the forest, ready to hunt. I eventually find a deer, simply sleeping on the floor. I approach it, and prepare to kill it.
However, I decide it's too big for me to consume.  I've just had some toast, and I'm rather full. It would die for no reason.
I remove my hand from the hilt of my knife, and approach it curiously. I've never actually touched a deer before, let alone seen one so close...
As I approach, I notice a permeating stench. I pinch my nose, and realize that it is the smell of rotting flesh.
The deer doesn't seem to have any lacerations or general damage. I circle around it, and frown.
This was one of Grendel's victims.
The long marks across its back remind me of Rainbow Dash's own long scars.
As I observe it, I realize something very disturbing.
With Celestia and Luna's help, I had sealed away Grendel no less than ten hours ago.
Judging by the still-flowing blood, and the profound lack of decomposition, these wounds were made no more than three hours ago.
I suddenly become aware of all of the smallest sounds around me-rustling bushes, falling leaves, snapping twigs.
I shiver, and retreat from the woods, dreading what the future may hold.