//------------------------------//
// How do I hold a phaser with hooves? 
// Story: Captain Kirk, Equestrian! 
// by Phoenix Quill 
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On board the Enterprise, crew members ran about in a panic.

Of course they panicked, their captain was missing! And not just for a few minutes, but well over an hour, much longer than the Captain had ever been away from the ship without being on shore leave, held hostage, or fighting another life form. 

This was serious.

Worse than the time when Kirk was abducted by the Metron to fight the Gorn captain. Much worse than both times the Enterprise was flooded with Tribbles, and even more terrible than the time when Mudd's love potion turned the Enterprise into a flying harem.

Naturally, the chaos on board was mixed. Security was running rampant all over the ship in efforts to look busy, least they get stopped to go after the captain, Bones was taking a turbo lift up to the bridge, and Scottie was in engineering, attempting to fix the still fluctuating  power. Sulu and Chekov had left the bridge at the end of shift, while DePaul took the helm and Riley took over the navigation.
Naturally, Spock stayed and kept control over the spiraling situation.

He sat in the captains chair as upright and stiff as an over starched pair of socks, listening to different complaints as they came in.

Then, it happened.

"Mister Spock, Starfleet is hailing us, they want to know about our progress."

The half Vulcan felt his eyebrow twitch with what was not related to emotions whatsoever, "Give them a full report on the missing Captain and Ensign. The Enterprise will stay here and scan for their life forms."

Uhura nodded and began to speak with Starfleet over her headset. Spock turned to face the bridges science station to see Ann Mulhall was looking into the scanner, "Sir, no trace yet of the Copernicus. Readouts indicate that the craft may have been destroyed on entry."

Spock gave a small nod before pushing the button to speak with engineering, "Mister Scott, progress report."

"The wormhole is effecting the entire ship's power systems, the Dilithium is splitting like bananas comin' outta their peals! Mister Spock, we canna' stay here much longer than a day before we won't have the power to get away from here!"

"Thank you Mister Scott." Spock cut off communication and made his way over to Mulhall and punched a few buttons for a print out. 

Ships Computer Starship Enterprise.
Wormhole E-Q-4 Scan results, Non moving, estimated life, one thousand, (1,000) Earth years. Non threatening. Possibly navigable. Life forms, unknown. Searching for emergency beacon or other transmissions from Copernicus and missing crew. Estimated time for search, two hours standard earth time.

Spock folded up the paper and placed it into a file folder by the station before going back to the captains chair. He had just sat down when the turbo lift doors slid open, revealing a more than slightly angry Leonard McCoy, "What the hell is going on? A member of security comes into sickbay telling me that Kirk is gone, and suddenly half the men in sickbay jump out of their beds with a shout and run off! Next thing I know there's a party in the mess hall full of staff I have never even seen before! Spock, chaos is gripping the crew and I have no one to state the obvious to! Where's Jim?"

Spock did not even bother to look the doctor in the face as he continued to read different reports from the ships crew and computers to try and find the next logical move, "You are correct, the Captain is indeed missing. We are not sure where to, but are doing all we can."

McCoy raised his arms up over his head, "Well what are we doing about it? Just sitting here to wait for orders?"

Spock finally turned to face the medical officer with a look of contempt on his face, "No, we wait for more information. If they survived the journey through, then they should be able to contact us through either the communicator, or the shuttlecraft's emergency beacon. Our computer is trying to find traces of the craft. If our scanners can find the shuttle, then we may be able to monitor the Captain well enough to either beam him to us, or send another craft to pick him up."

"So we wait?"

"We wait Doctor, until the next logical step presents itself to us."





Ensign Ricky was handling things surprisingly well for what was going on. In the last half hour of his being awake. He had discovered that Slim Jims were disgusting to a pony, even if they had liked them before, and that walking on all fours was not hard, but made him much shorter. Lastly, that as ponies the would not need to wear pants because of the nature of their build kept their privates, private.

Kirk on the other hand was busy trying to figure out how he was going to carry anything without his pants, and as a result belt that he couldn't get off of his pants.

"I just don't understand, I can see that the Tricorder and emergency kit has a strap, but what if I need to shoot something!" 

Ricky rolled his eyes as he used his nose to tap on the console buttons in hopes of restoring power, "Just leave the phaser in the emergency kit, that way if you really need it its there."

Kirk slammed his hoof down on the floor of the shuttlecraft before turning around to face Ricky, "I don't think you understand me, you red shirts always think the same way, Oh I don't need a phaser," He said in a mocking tone, "I'll just go down to an uncharted planet and wander away from the search party to get a drink of water from the pool of acid guarded by the angry natives, they wont mind!"

Ricky took a step back from Kirk with a wide look, "Oh, its OUR fault for dying? Really? Hi, I'm, Captain, Kirk! I... cheated on, the... Kobayashi Maru test, because, I, don't believe in the no win scenario! Oh, look! Alien planet! Lets see if I. Can sleep with them, wait, better take a red shirt with me, just in case they are kill happy!"

Kirk butted his head against Smith and scowled, "I, do not... Talk like that!"

"Yeah, you do. Now if you'll excuse me, Captain, I have to try to save our asses before I become another dead shirt for you to forget about." He powered on the slightly damaged console, only for it to explode sparks for a few moments and forced him to shut it back off before causing more damage.

Ricky grumbled to himself as he used both of his front hooves to hold the necessary tools to try to mend the wires. Kirk stepped forward a bit as he looked down at Ricky. "I don't forget the deaths of my crew."

The off white pony picked up a screw driver with his teeth as he tried to use it to tighten a loose panel, "Really?" he said around the tool, "What about Johnny Miller? Or  what about Lieutenant Carlisle? Do those names ring any bells? How about Rizzo? Or maybe Ensign O'Herlihy? Do you remember them?"

Kirk paused for a moment and thought as Smith kept tightening the panel, "That's what I thought. Now no offence to you Captain, but I would rather try to get us home instead of go adventuring with you. It's hazardous to my health."





Fluttershy and Twilight were making there way through the Everfree Forest, with a cart load of probing and computing equipment and saddlebags full of books on meteors and other natural items that tend to fall from space, "I can't believe we are the only ones that know about this!" Twilight said with an excited squeak, "Maybe it will contain a new mineral, or it can unlock the secrets of the universe as we know it! Oooh how much farther is it Fluttershy? I wanna take notes!"

Fluttershy calmly smiled as Twilight rambled on about the possibilities of the falling object, and tried to tell her again, "Actually, it looked like a box, or strange enclosed chariot. I think somepony might have crashed while flying." She then pulled out of her saddle bags a first aid kit for emphasis to Twilight that she was prepared.

"Fluttershy," Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, "I told you back at the library that for something to break the sound barrier it must reach mach speeds, and no flying thing can move that fast with a cart. Therefore, it must be from outer space, and there is no life out there, It's scientifically improbable for alien life to develop space travel JUST to see a bunch of ponies. No, it must be a meteor." Twilight said, more to herself with a satisfied nod.

Fluttershy smiled a little bit as they kept walking on, "Whatever you say Twilight." 

The trip through the Everfree was, thankfully void of any danger and within a few minutes the two ponies came across a section of the forest where all the trees were knocked over.

At the edge of the clearing, was a slightly battered white thing. It was larger than most carts and wagons that either Twilight or Fluttershy had ever seen before. It narrowed down close to the end that had nose dived into the trees, and had a set of short wings angled back and down on either side. On either side on the top was a pair of cylinders that ran past the rear slightly. 

The two ponies stared for a while before finally Twilight spoke up, "Wow, what is it?"

Fluttershy, rather than take the queue and follow Twilight closer to the downed craft, stayed behind and watched as the unicorn made her way closer to the giant white structure. Suddenly Twilight frantically waved a hoof for Fluttershy to come closer. 

Fluttershy took a small step forward and timidly called out, "What is it Twilight?"

Despite the quietness of the pegasus's voice, Twilight still felt the need to hold a hoof over her muzzle to shush her, "Hurry over quietly," Twilight whispered loudly to Fluttershy, "I think I hear voices!"

Fluttershy quietly flew over to Twilight, landing next to her as softly as she could and perked up her ears to listen to the voices, "Listen, I don't care if you are the Captain, but under this situation, I am the most qualified when it comes to the technical aspects of this shuttlecraft, and I say we make repairs to get out of here, or contact the ship for help!"

The sound of scuffling hooves came out of the vessel before the other voice spoke up again, "As your commanding officer, and having been in a few tight situations in the past, I believe that we should go exploring! Maybe the local inhabitants are friendly, and can offer some help!"

"You know as well as I do that that is a stupid plan, besides I think I got it!" The sound of sparks filled the air before a small explosion came out near the back end of the metal structure. "Great, another issue! Captain, I'm going to go out and see what that sound was. Please, PLEASE Don't touch anything!" 

The rear end of the vessel opened wide into a doorway, out of which stepped a pale earth pony with black hair wearing a red shirt. The pony grumbled to himself a few times as he walked to the side of the structure and looked inside of the panel that had come open, "Blast, the antimatter chamber is damaged! CAPTAIN! Can you check the kits for spare parts?"

Twilight and Fluttershy looked at the strange stallion in silence before Twilight finally approached him, "Excuse me, but do you need help?"

"Sorry but only a fully trained Starfleet probe and shuttlecraft specialist can operate and repair a Class G shuttlecraft." The stallion droned for a moment before freezing. Rickey finally realized that someone spoke to him, someone he did not know, on an alien planet. He tilted his body so that only his head poked around the back side of the shuttle and saw Twilight and Fluttershy standing at a distance, one with a smile, the other with caution on her face.

Ricky reacted the only way he knew, the only way that kept him alive for that year on the Enterprise so far. He screamed and ran back into the shuttlecraft, the door slamming shut behind him.

Twilight and Fluttershy blinked for a few moments in surprise at the eccentric stallion and whispered among themselves, "What's wrong with him?"

"Maybe he's just shy around mares."

"You can't tell me that he is just shy around mares, I mean that was a fear induced scream!"

Fluttershy tilted her head, "Have you ever seen me try to talk to a stallion?"

Twilight almost rebutted but stopped, "Alright point taken but I don't think-"

What Twilight didn't think never got out as the door opened again. This time a tan pony stepped out in a bright gold shirt. He wore a cocky smile on his face as he stepped out, "My name is Captain Kirk, and I represent Starfleet and the United Federation of Planets. We come in peace!" He leaned slightly to his left at the still shaking Ensign and whispered, "If they attack, shoot to kill."

The purple mare stepped forward from the cart behind her and held up her right forehoof in a friendly gesture, while Fluttershy imediatly dropped her bags to the ground. Twilight then spoke very slowly to make sure that the stallions in the ship would understand her, "I am Twilight Sparkle. This is Fluttershy, we came when we saw you crash. Is everypony alright in there?"

Kirk stepped forward and out of the ship, "Everyone is fine, but we damaged our craft in landing, and do not have all the parts we need. We are stranded until we can repair our shuttlecraft or can signal our ship. Do you have a way to help us?"

Fluttershy and Twilight looked at each other, not sure how to take what this pony has told them, Twilight looked up at Captain Kirk and smiled, "Will you excuse us for a moment?" she grabbed Fluttershy in her magic an levitated her to the far end of the clearing so the two of them could talk.

"Fluttershy, this is big." Twilight began as she looked over her shoulder at the ship behind her, "I mean, think of all we can learn from them! If these ponies had mastered space travel who knows what else we can learn from them!"

Fluttershy looked behind Twilight and then back at the ground before finally speaking, "Well, those ponies seem nice enough, but the one in the yellow shirt mentioned something about a federation, and a bigger ship. What if they are dangerous?"

Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin for a moment, "Hmm, you have a point Fluttershy. I have an idea."

The two ponies whispered between each other for a while longer, then nodded and walked back to the craft while Kirk met them half way, "We are going to do our best to help you, but it may take some time." Twilight said with a flourish as Fluttershy looked at an interesting blade of grass, "In the mean time you can stay with us until Princess Celestia can come to Ponyville to meet with you and your friend."

The Captain nodded, "Alright, I will let my Ensign, Ricky know what is going on and have him bring some supplies."
Kirk stepped into the Shuttlecraft and the doors shut behind him. He looked around for a few moments for the Ensign, "Smith? We're going on a bit of a hike, grab whatever we can in the emergency supply kit. Smith?"

Ricky turned his head to the Captain's voice. and dropped Kirk's communicator. Upon contact with the floor the tell tale beeps of its opening and making contact with the ship rang out throughout the vessel.





It has been almost an hour since the computer's initial prediction, and still no signs of the Captain has come through as of yet.

With Chekov off the bridge, he along with the other chiefs of security, Giotto and Freeman, had managed to round up the rest of security and get the ship back into order within the space of time that had passed. 

Despite all this, Spock's job did not get any easier. The fluctuating power has been a big hindrance on the Enterprise, not only to those in engineering, but anyone that wanted to use the ships computers was finding that the computers were slowing to a crawl. For DePaul and Riley the power fluctuations were making keeping the ship in one place a constant struggle, as they had to constantly adjust for the pull of the wormhole and readjust as power would lower and rise.

Uhura suddenly started pressing buttons on the board before her in a desperate attempt to get a steady signal, "Mister Spock, we are getting a transmission signal!" 

"The Captain?" Spock said as he walked closer to her to examine the panel.

"I'm not sure but I do hear voices," The communications officer pressed a button and the bridge filled with the sound of static, but behind the static a voice could barely be heard coming through.

"Ensign -ith -o Enter-ise  C-n you r-..."

Uhura slid a dial up before speaking, "This is Enterprise, can you boost signal!" 

Spock leaned up to the nearest microphone and spoke into it, "Spock here, patch the communicator into the tricorder for a power and signal boost and we may be able to see you."

The sound fizzled out on the speakers for a moment before Uhura saw a green light come on the panel before her. Quickly reacting, the Lieutenant pressed the button for the viewing screen. When it came to life with the image of the interior of the Copernicus, audio quickly followed filling the bridge with the voices of Ricky and Kirk talking in the back ground.

DePaul and Riley had to resist the urge to high five and cheer at knowing that everything turned out fine, and instead settled on smiling widely at each other as Spock moved back to the Captain's chair, "Captain, we are receiving audio visual signal, Is everything well with you?"

Suddenly two ponies stepped on screen wearing a red, and gold shirt respectively, "Everything is fine," the pony in the gold shirt said in Kirk's voice, "but our shuttlecraft was damaged, can you lock in on our signal and beam us back?"

Spock raised an eyebrow at the two ponies, "Sir, is that really you? Or is this some sort of human joke?"

The pony in the red shirt began to sweat vigerously, and made his way off screen as the tan pony leaned closer to the camera on the tricorder, "Yes this is really me. It's this universe, when we awoke we were ponies, I'll chat about it later now tell me, Spock, can you beam us back?"

Spock got up and began to pace slightly on the bridge as his mind began to whir faster with the information he was given, "Captain, the wormhole is causing power failure all over the ship and draining the dilithium crystals. It is impossible at the time to get a strong enough signal to beam you out."

Kirk slammed a hoof down on the floor, "Then get out of there! Get to K-4 and make repairs as quick as you can. We have made contact with the life on this planet. They offered us lodging and help, we can stay with them while we wait for contact."

"Captain, what about the prime directive?"

The pony on the screen rolled his eyes as the other one moved about in the back ground gathering supplies, "Spock, we can't stay with the ship. According to the ponies we met the forest we crashed in is dangerous. We are going to seek shelter in a town not far from here. Do not send a shuttlecraft after us, I repeat do NOT send a shuttlecraft. The wormhole causes damage to the matter-antimatter chambers and dilithium crystals, if you send another shuttle it will become stranded with us."

Spock nodded, "Very well Captain, we should be able to make repairs in and come back to this spot at stardate 7879.9."

"Excellent Spock," The signal began to fade, "Take care of the ship... I'll be fine, Kirk out."

The screen faded out to black as the signal died out. Spock lowered himself back into the Captain's chair and folded his hands together in front of him. Raising an eyebrow he said one word, "Fascinating."

"A universe where everyone is a pony." Riley put in. "What are your orders Mister Spock."

Without missing a beat the first officer acted, "Helmsmen, set course for Station K-4, Lieutenant Uhura, contact Starfleet and let them know that the Captain is alive and we will be coming back for him once repairs are done."

"Aye sir." with the order given the whole ship engaged in motion as they set back on course for station K-4 as quick as possible.