//------------------------------// // On the Road Again // Story: Life, Death, and Ponies // by thunderclap //------------------------------// Time seemed to slow down as your violin hit the ground. For a split second you thought that you could save it. That idea was immediately crushed when Trixie stomped on the instrument. You could feel your composure waver as a wave of anger coursed through your body. Trixie gave you a triumphant look causing the anger in you to rise. She looked just like the foster parent that had broken your mother’s violin all those years ago. You had given them the reaction they were looking for back then, but not this time. But that didn’t mean you were just going to take it either. “Uh Trixie, that’s not how you play a violin.” You said, forcing yourself to laugh. “Are… aren’t you upset?” “Why would I be? I can just do this.” You said picking up the pieces of the violin and using the repair spell on them. The violin was back to normal in a few seconds and Trixie looked annoyed. “So what, do you think you’re better than the Great and Powerful Trixie?” “Personally, I don’t care about being better than anypony,” You sighed. “But if you really want to see if you’re better than me, then I’d be more than happy to oblige.” Your horn started to glow as you concentrated on a spell. Once the spell was ready you shot a beam square into Trixie’s chest. To everyone in the crowd it looked like you had made Trixie disappear. “What the hay did you do to me?!” Trixie cried out in a tiny voice. “Since you seem to enjoy making others feel small. I figured I’d let you know what it was like.” “Okay you’ve shown me, now turn the Great and Powerful Trixie back.” “I don’t think so. If you’re so much better than me, then you can reverse the spell yourself.” You said, walking off of the stage. “Wait you can’t do this! Please, change me back!” “Have fun, Trixie. Don’t let anypony step on you.” You walked away from the crowd. If any of them were trying to say something to you then you couldn’t hear it. You needed to be alone. You kept a fake smile on your face as you walked down the empty streets. You found an alleyway and ducked into it. Once you were in you let yourself go. “That fucking bitch!” You screamed, hitting your hooves against the wall. “You should’ve known better! You should’ve never let her fucking touch the violin. This is just like when you were eleven! You never fucking learn!” “Blackstar, is that you?” Twilight asked, straining her eyes to look for you. “Yeah, I’m here. “ “Are you o… oh my gosh, your hooves are bloody.” Twilight gasped, taking your hooves in her own. “I’ll be fine. It’s not that big of a deal.” You said, pulling away from Twilight. “I can fix them up for you if you’d like.” “I can do it myself.” You said. Your horn started to flicker and eventually the light died out. “Whatever, I don’t need to fix them.” “Can I say something real quick?” Twilight sighed. “What is it Twilight?” “You really impressed me up on the stage there.” “Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be able to play like that again for a while.” “You didn’t impress me with your song. It was how you dealt with Trixie that really impressed me.” “Really, there wasn’t anything special about what I did.” “Yes there was. If Trixie had done something like that to me I would’ve lost it. But you managed to smile and joke about it. And you could’ve done a lot more to her than you did.” “I managed to learn how to control myself over the years. I’m used to situations like this.” “Yeah, something about when you were eleven?” “You heard that?” “I think half of Canterlot heard that.” “Well, yes, something like this did happen when I was eleven.” “Would it help if you talked about it?” “Fine, I’ve never talked about it, but you’ve already seen me break down this much. I can’t see how much worse I could get. My mom gave me her violin for my seventh birthday. I’d always watch her play it, but it was mine then. I practiced every chance I could get. I took it with me everywhere. Even after I started to move I played every day.” “What happened next?” “I was eleven. I ran into somepony that you could call a bully. He tried to hurt me with words, when that didn’t work he tried hitting me. That didn’t give him the response he was looking for either. That’s when he tried something different. He took my violin from me, and stomped on it until it was nothing but splinters. That did it. I broke down, worse than right now. I had put my heart and soul into learning how to play. And just like that my mother’s violin was gone. I wanted to make that pony pay so badly; but I couldn’t. I don’t know if it was my sense of decency or because I was scared of him, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him the way he hurt me.” “Blackstar, I’m so sorry to hear about that. If you want I could help you get a new violin.” “You don’t have to do that. I’ll get my own violin, eventually. In the meantime, I’ll keep using the repair spell on this one until it stops working on it. You should get back to Ponyville about now.” “Alright, let’s get going.” “No, you go by yourself. I feel like being alone for a while.” “Blackstar, it would take you at least a day to make it to Ponyville from here without the spell.” “I know that, I kind of did it before.” You snapped back. “Why are you doing this?” “I just want to be alone right now. Is that really so hard to understand?” “Fine, if you want to be alone then I’ll respect that. I’m just trying to help.” Twilight said, aggravated, and she teleported away shortly after. “Way to go dumbass. You just pissed off one of your friends. Huh, oh well, can’t do anything about it now.” You pulled a roll of bandages and some antiseptic out of your shoulder-bag and used them to quickly fix your fore hooves. You slowly made your way out of Canterlot wincing every now and then from pain. You tried to vent your anger in any way you could, but nothing helped. You kept thinking back to that day when you were eleven. You stopped to rest for a little while when the sun started to come up. Twilight appeared in the library with a scowl on her face. She marched upstairs, causing Spike to lift his head up from his pillow. “Oh hey, Twilight where have you been?” “I was out with Blackstar.” “What happened? You seem upset.” “Blackstar was finally opening up a little, but pushed me away right after.” “Could you elaborate a bit more?” All of a sudden there was a knock at the door and Twilight went downstairs to answer it. Standing in the doorway was Applejack with a concerned look on her face. “Applejack, what are you doing here?” “It’s gettin’ pretty late an’ Blackstar ain’t back yet. Ah was a little worried so Ah figured Ah’d check to see if you knew where he was.” “Yeah, I do.” “Well, where is he? Is he in the library?” “No, he isn’t. Listen, this is gonna be a little tough to explain.” Twilight said. Applejack made her way inside. Spike came down the stairs to see what was going on. “Alright Twilight, where’s Blackstar?” “Well, we tried this new teleportation spell that allows you to travel farther than the standard kind. We ended up in Canterlot. Everything was fine until these other mares showed. They talked to us for a while and invited us to this show they had heard about. It turns out it was Trixie of all things. Blackstar went up and she said she could do anything better than him.” “So what did Blackstar do? Did he create a huge fireball? Or did he turn himself into a giant monster?” Spike asked, excited. “No he played his violin.” “Of course he did.” “Well, it made sense. Trixie couldn’t play the violin at all. And she didn’t take kindly to it. She broke Blackstar’s violin. I was almost sure that he was going to hurt Trixie right there. But he didn’t. He laughed in her face about it. Then Trixie egged him on a bit more about who was better and Blackstar used a spell that shrank her.” “That’s awesome! He turned Trixie into… Pixie!” “Spike, this isn’t the time for that sort of thing.” “Sorry, I was just having some fun. What happened after that?” “Blackstar walked off the stage and then he started to flip out. I found him and tried to cheer him up but he said that he wanted to be alone. And then I left.” Twilight admitted sheepishly. “Ya left him alone in Canterlot? How could you do that?” “Well, I was frustrated. All of us have known Blackstar for nearly two months and we still know next to nothing about him. And the one time I offer to help him and learn a little bit about his past he pushes me away.” “And that’s yer reason because Blackstar was being himself.” “Yeah, I understand, I should’ve brought him back.” Twilight sighed, lowering her head. “Look Twilight. Ah can’t get too mad at ya. Blackstar is pretty stubborn. Even if ya did try t’force him to come back he probably would’ve done somethin’ crazy to make sure he was left alone.” “You’re probably right. Anyway, Blackstar will probably be back sometime tomorrow, you should head back to the farm to make sure he’s okay.” “Ah will. Sorry fer intrudin’.” Applejack said turning to walk out the door. You managed to get back to Sweet Apple Acres by mid-afternoon feeling completely drained. You looked down at your hooves and realized the bandages were still wrapped around them. You quickly stuffed them in a side pocket so you could throw them away later. When you did make it back to the farmhouse Applejack was outside waiting for you. “Have you been standing there all day for me?” You said with a forced smile. “Ah have. Ah was worried about ya.” “Why? I was only gone for a day. Besides, I’ve walked back from Canterlot before.” “Ah wasn’t worried about that. Are ya feelin’ any better?” “A little, some time to vent on my own helped.” “Glad t’hear it ‘cause first thing tomorrow mornin’ yer gonna buck apples until Ah tell ya t’stop.” “Fine, I’ll do it. Do you have any other punishments in mind for me?” “Not right now, but give me some time and Ah might think of somethin’.” “Ok, you can tell me all about it, after I get some sleep.” You walked past Applejack and went into your room. You pulled out your journal and began to write. Hey me in the future. I’ve been having some bad days recently. Everything started out fine when I was hanging out with Twilight. We tried out a long rang range teleportation spell and ended up stuck in Canterlot for a while which wasn’t that bad. It gave me an excuse to go to Donut Joe’s shop again. After that, Twilight and I just talked for a while. Then two mares came along and saved me from talking about my past. They ended up taking us to a show that starred a showboating showpony called Trixie. I got on stage to try and knock her down a peg. It didn’t turn out so great. She broke my violin right in front of me. I was tempted to choke her right then and there, but I controlled myself. Instead, I just laughed it off and shrank her when she kept pushing me. I almost wish somepony stepped on her. Once I was away from the crowd I kind of, sort of freaked out. Twilight found me and I told her about the first time I lost my violin. She even offered to help buy me a new one. It’s just like what happened with Stan seven years ago. I can’t believe I haven’t thought about him in all this time. He was the only person I could even begin to call a friend back in my old world. I wonder how he took the news of my death. Is Derek okay? Ugh, how could I tell God that I had nothing back there? I’m not sure if you remember this or not but, Stan also offered to adopt me once. That was right after Derek was born. I think he’s six now. What would’ve happened if Stan had adopted me? Something bad, probably. That always was the story with my old life. In the end it was probably for the best I died. Any who, Twilight and I had a little fight and I walked back to Ponyville alone. When I got back Applejack said I’d have to make up for the lost work day. I’m starting to have a habit of pissing off all the girls in my life. That’s all for now, I hope things are better between you and the girls when you look at this again.