[Cut to a BLU Pyro firing a blast of flame from her Flamethrower. She thrusts her weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly as a bowling ball heads towards her from off screen].
Pyro: [Ball hits Pyro, breaking all her bones.] "Ow!"
[Cut to Screwball taking a drink, also getting crippled by a crit bowling ball from off screen.]
[Cut to Octavia performing her taunt.]
Octavia: "Bow!" [Kicked aside by a ball]
["Meet the Crusader" text appears.]
[Cut to Scootaloo, drilling what appears to be a line of recruits.]
Scootaloo: "If you think something will get you your cutie mark, stop thinking and do it! Rainbow Dash said that, and I'd say she knows a little bit more about cutie marks than you do pal, because she'd got her being just a little filly, and that makes her more awesome than all Wonderbolts and Ponyville citizens put together!"
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders theme plays]
[Cut to Scootaloo dashing on her scooter and screaming.]
[Scootaloo then charges the final capture point in Granary on her scooter and kills a Screwball by running into her in full speed. She takes bowling ball from her saddlebag and a BLU Medic appears behind her, firing syringes.]
RED Screwball: "Left the to!"
Scootaloo: "Got it!"
[Scootaloo turns to the left and throws bowling ball into Medic, who doubles over, clutching her stomach.]
RED Celestia: "Right up! Right up!"
RED Octavia: "Go, go, go!"
[Scootaloo, Celestia and Octavia charge into battle together, as explosions occur all around them.]
[Cut back to Scootaloo's drill. Music pauses.]
Scootaloo: "So when she found out she don't have a pet, she went to Fluttershy...
[Scootaloo unhooks two balls from her belt, one in each hoof.]
Scootaloo: ...took all awesome animals from her, and then she herded them into a park...
[Scootaloo demonstrates by using the bowling balls, moving them in a walking motion.]
Scootaloo: ...and then she tested the crap out of every single one."
[Scootaloo bangs the two balls together repeatedly.]
[Cut back to battle scene. Music resumes.]
RED Berry: (Behind cover) "Sentry up 'dere!"
[Scootaloo rolls her scooter up to the Sentry gun and ski-jumps over it onto a pipe, dropping her saddlebags full of bowling balls, both destroying the Sentry and killing Blueblood in the process.]
[A BLU Octavia and Pyro are holding the final capture point. The Octavia is laughing gleefully. Scootaloo jumps downward, jumping from scooter that knocks off Pyro just before she lands on grey earthpony, slamming her head into ground. A Spy uncloaks and attempts to backstab Scootaloo, but Scootaloo bucks, knocking out the Spy.]
[Freeze frame]
[Cut back to Scootaloos drill]
Scootaloo: [Laughs to herself] "And from that day forward official most awesome flying animal is not falcon or eagle but tortoise!"
[Crickets chirp as the 'recruits' are revealed to be the gibbed heads of BLU team members perched on a gate, all wearing BLU Scootaloo helmets. The Medic's head falls off the gate.]
[ending flourish music plays.]
Scootaloo: [To the Medic's head] "Unless it's a chicken!"