Callahan groaned as his vision blurred into view, but only his right eye could see. Callahan gasped and reached for his left eye but realized that the majority of the left side of his face was covered in medical bandage wrap. He looked to his hoof that Ms. Abernathy’s cat had bitten and realized it was wrapped to, but at that point he realized he was no longer wearing any of his clothes, minus his underwear.
He sat up and looked to his chest, it was covered in bandage. Callahan grunted to himself, when he had saved Mr. Brody from the burning building he had received burn wounds but neglected to tell any-pony, he supposed that when Fluttershy was healing him she realized that he was burned and fixed him up. Callahan looked around and spotted a mirror, he hoped off the table he had been passed out on and walked up to the mirror.
He chuckled, his face looked like something from an old horror movie but it gave him a little bit of character in his look. Callahan looked around and called out for Fluttershy but no-pony answered, judging by the amount of sunlight he guessed that it was late morning. He looked to his watch but realized it was missing to, he sighed and continued to look around the small cottage for his belongings and Squeak.
As he finished his quick look around, he hadn’t found Squeak but he had found his clothes and his pistol. Callahan put his clothes back on, even his trench coat on account that it wasn’t ridiculously hot here. He placed his handgun in his holster, concealed by the trench coat and went outside.
The fresh air smelt wonderful, a huge improvement to the city air he was used to. He looked at the surrounding trees and heard a faint humming coming from around back. He looked into his coat pocket and pulled out his package of cigarettes. “After this is through I’ll quit” he told himself as he placed the cigarette in his mouth and took out his zippo. He flicked the striker multiple times until the lighter lit. He brought the lighter flame up to the cigarette and lit the end of the cigarette. Taking a deep inhale, cigarette fumes filled his lungs and he took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at the cigarette package which was now empty. “Last smoke… better enjoy it” he muttered to himself.
Suddenly a small monkey hoped up beside him and started making monkey noises, reaching for his cigarette the entire time. Callahan immediately turned away “hey, don’t you know smoking is bad for your health?” Callahan told the monkey who rolled his eyes and continued to reach for the cigarette. Callahan thought to himself, well if he was going to quit might as well start now.
Callahan reached up and took the cigarette out of his mouth and handed it to the monkey, who immediately and started squealing in joy as it took a huge drag off the cigarette and hoped around like it was insane. Callahan pointed to the monkey “hey, enjoy that… it’s my last one” Callahan told the monkey who nodded in response and took another drag off the cigarette and blew the smoke into the air.
Callahan walked towards the area from which the voice was coming from. In a small garden he saw Fluttershy doing random gardening, from what he could tell she was weeding her garden but he couldn’t be sure. He walked over to her and saw Squeak on her shoulder, he looked extremely well and had a cheeky smile on his face. Callahan chuckled and Fluttershy turned around. At first she was calm and Squeak lept off of Callahan’s shoulder and ran up to him, “Hey buddy how yah feelin?” Callahan asked his small rodent friend who let out a little squeak in reply “well it sounds like you feel much better” Callahan replied and looked to Fluttershy.
“What was wrong with him?” Callahan asked and Fluttershy stepped shyly forward “oh well uhm… you see rats generally eat a wide variety of trash and leftovers… not rich foods and uhm he seemed to have been eating a lot of rich foods lately and his stomach wasn’t meant to have all that rich food… so uhm that’s why he was sick” Fluttershy replied, still obviously shy talking to him. “Well thanks… for everything, I feel better too” Callahan replied but suddenly Fluttershy let out a gasp of horror. Callahan followed her gaze as she raced passed him towards the smoking monkey.
“How dare you… what do you think you’re doing, smoking is bad for you don’t you know that” Fluttershy scolded the monkey but the monkey started making monkey noises and pointed to Callahan. Fluttershy shot him a semi angered look, but Callahan figured that with how shy she was that this was probably like a very pissed off look for her. She flew over to him and landed in front of him and poked him in the chest with her hooves “I don’t care if you smoke but never give my animals cigarettes… if you don’t mind… ever” she yelled, or well to Callahan it was more a stern talking but for Fluttershy it was an aggressive scolding. “Oh I’m sorry… uhm I was quitting and that was my last smoke and the monkey wanted it so I thought I’d be generous and give him the smoke” Callahan replied bluntly.
Fluttershy let out a sigh “I’m sorry for yelling, just please don’t do that again” she pleaded and Callahan nodded and lifted her chin up with his hoof so she was looking him in the eyes “hey, sorry. But don’t worry about it, I’m quitting and have no more cigarettes so I won’t be giving your pets anymore smokes” Callahan assured her and her face lit up. “You’re… quitting?” she asked and Callahan shrugged “yeah might as well… ain’t no good coming from it” Callahan replied “oh and by the way you did a damn fine job with my face” Callahan told her and leaned closer “I even look better than I did before”.
Fluttershy blushed as she looked at the bandages on his face, “uhm earlier before you passed out… you uhm… kissed me” Fluttershy replied softly and Callahan chuckled “oh yeah… sorry about that” Callahan apologized, not really knowing the reason for doing it. “Uhm… if you don’t mind me asking… why did you?” she asked sheepishly and Callahan shrugged “I just thought it was a good idea at the time” Callahan replied and thought for a second “I guess it was because you were so unsure of yourself I thought I might be able to put your mind at ease” Callahan informed her. “Uhm… by kissing me?” she asked and Callahan chuckled “well it was either that or groan and try and put together words but I figured that it would probably make you even more unsure of yourself” Callahan told her. “You kissed my nose” she said with a small laugh and Callahan chuckled “yeah sorry, the whole sleeping drug thing threw my aim off” Callahan told her.
“Uhm… did you mean anything by it?” she asked and Callahan shrugged, “oh I don’t know I was just thinking you might need
a boost of confidence or something” Callahan replied. “Oh… I see” Fluttershy replied in a somewhat saddened voice and her head dropped and her ears flopped. Callahan spotted what he thought was like a glint of light burn out in her eyes, “Uhh… I… uhm” Callahan replied as he tried to rearrange his sentence to make the mare feel a bit better. He heard her say something but it was so faint he couldn’t hear what she said.
He leaned down so he could look into her eyes, “uhm Fluttershy I…” Callahan trailed off as he tried to think of words that could sooth her, though he didn’t quite know what he did to sadden her. “I… I… I love you” she blurted out, Callahan’s eyes grew wide “uhm… okay… uhh I never knew that… thanks for sharing” he said, he slapped himself in the face, which resulted in a searing pain shooting through his face from his sensitive cuts. “Oww” Callahan muttered but Fluttershy back away, somewhat broken-hearted.
“Oh shit” Callahan muttered to himself, he had usually never associated with ponies outside of work and the only time he had ever dated a mare was in high school so he was kind of rusty on how to talk to them. He walked over and leaned down in front of her “uhm… sorry Fluttershy, I uhh don’t really know how to talk to mares… especially shy ones” he told her with a heartwarming smile. She looked up to him, her eyes were beginning to tear up, it kind of made Callahan feel like shit.
“Do you… feel the same way?” she whispered and Callahan thought to himself “well… uhm I just met you and didn’t have a lot of time to think about it… you know on account of the knock out drug” Callahan replied, but she made an unexpected move that threw Callahan off balance, she leaned forward and kissed him full on the mouth.
She pulled away and opened her eyes and Callahan had a clueless expression on his face, “I’ve never… met any-pony like you before, who cared for animals and could talk to them like I could… I know we just met but I can’t… can’t stop thinking about you” Fluttershy whispered. Callahan shook off the confused thoughts racing through his head “uhm… okay I uhh” Callahan stuttered but couldn’t really think straight, things were just happening to fast for him to compensate for things.
“Do you feel the same way for me?” she asked, Callahan thought to himself, he had only just met her but she seemed like the kind of mare he wouldn’t mind settling down for. Then he thought to when he was about to pass out and his exact thoughts he had had. “Yes” Callahan replied, rather bluntly but somewhat romantic. He leaned forward and returned her kiss. Animals let out whoops of joy Fluttershy broke away from the kiss and she led Callahan back to her cottage.
She locked the door behind her and Callahan gulped, “uhm… okay hold on, listen you seem like a nice mare and all but I just met you and you kind of seem like the mare who doesn’t get out a lot” Callahan replied but she cut him off before he could finish “oh uhm… I’m sorry I thought you’d want this” she replied sheepishly and Callahan shook his head, things were still happening way too fast for him to compensate.
A little out of character for Fluttershy, she pushed Callahan back onto the table he was laying on early. Callahan fell back onto the table, he winced in pain as the burn on his back was hit rather hard by a table corner. “Oh… I’m so sorry… I thought it would turn you on if I was a little more… assertive” she apologized, telling him the reason for doing this. Callahan got a hold on what was happening and tried to slow things down “uhm Fluttershy… I really need to know. Do you want this?” Callahan asked and Fluttershy blushed “oh uhm… well I don’t mind… I just thought that maybe you would want it so…” she trailed off and Callahan sighed to himself.
“What do I do” Callahan muttered to himself, trying to get a grasp on what was happening, and Fluttershy walked up to him “you don’t know what to do… haven’t you ever been with a mare before?” she asked, the question took him off guard. “Uhm… I…” Callahan trailed off and thought to himself, through high school he had lots of mare friends but he clearly remembered that the relationships usually went pretty rocky from the start on account of his gruffness. He figured probably not with any of his mare friends but he had been to a couple of high school parties and got so wasted he couldn’t remember what happened, but then again there were never any mares at the parties he went to. “No” Callahan replied finally and Fluttershy blushed “oh well if you don’t want to… I won’t force it on you” she replied and took a step back.
Callahan stepped forward “I’ll be okay with it if you are” he replied with a warm smile, she leaned forward and they began to kiss again, Callahan lost his balance and fell onto his back, Fluttershy was now on top of him. She broke away from the kiss “uhm… what do we do?” Fluttershy asked and Callahan thought to himself ‘how the hell should I know… doesn’t she know what…’ his thoughts trailed off and he looked to Fluttershy “uhm are you a virgin?” he asked with a little bit of a chuckle.
Fluttershy blushed “uhm is that bad?” she asked and Callahan shook his head “no I just thought that you did already, you’re kind of cute so I figured you’d been with a stallion before” Callahan chuckled. “No, I uhm… I’ve always lived away from every-pony and I don’t get out much” she informed him and Callahan shrugged “I guess we could experiment, trial and error?” he suggested and they once again began to furiously kiss, a little out of character, Fluttershy forced her tongue in Callahan’s mouth as she began to strip him of his clothes.
Callahan slid his hooves down her side as she slipped his coat off and began removing his shirt, Callahan’s hooves reached her flank and she let out a gasp of pleasure. She removed his gun and holster and Callahan rolled their bodies over so he was on top. She gave him a cute look and Callahan slipped his shirt off. He leaned back down and they began to tongue kiss again. Fluttershy used the same technique he had and flipped their bodies over so she was once again on top. Callahan slipped his hoof down to her hindquarters as she began to take off his cargo pants.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Fluttershy lept into the air, either embarrassed or frightened by the sudden unexpected knock. Callahan groaned to himself and thought ‘who fuck could that be?’ as he looked to his watch. “Figures” Callahan muttered as he realized it was 11:30 and ponies were probably prone to dropping by. Fluttershy rushed to the door and opened it as Callahan tried to put his shirt on to get more decent, but realized most of the ponies in this town never wore clothes anyway.
He tossed his shirt back down and approached the door, to see the unicorn librarian known as Twilight Sparkle. “Ohh, I’m sorry Fluttershy should I come back at a more appropriate time?” Twilight asked and Fluttershy shook her head quickly “ohh no, I was merely… changing Callahan’s bandages so he doesn’t get an infection” she lied, to cover up what had really been going on. Twilight gave Callahan an odd look then saw the bandages on his chest and figured that’s what she probably was doing, considering that Fluttershy was very shy and probably would never engage in such intimate acts with another pony.
“Anyway, as I was saying… Princess Celestia called a meeting with Callahan, it sounded important so I came over as fast as I could… oh and Callahan… uhm Rainbow Dash took your car, she said you wouldn’t mind and that she needed it to get something from somewhere” Twilight informed Callahan who groaned, he hadn’t taken the keys for his car figuring that no-pony would come out this far and take his car. “Yeah… whatever” Callahan replied and Twilight nodded “Well, should we go?” Twilight asked and Callahan shrugged.
Fluttershy followed them, and Callahan looked back to the small cottage “You think Squeak will be okay without us for a while?” Callahan asked and Fluttershy nodded “oh he’ll be fine, he’s already become friends with some of the other animals.
As they came out to the large field between Ponyville and Fluttershy’s cottage they saw a large fume of sandy dust blocking their view of Ponyville, and at the front of the dust was a ’74 Gran Torino, going at least 130mph. “Really should take the keys next time” Twilight told Callahan who face-hoofed. Rainbow Dash must’ve saw them because the car was redirected their way and flew at them at increasing speeds. “Is she crazy?” Twilight asked and Callahan considered taking out his pistol and shooting the tires out but he figured Rainbow Dash may be immature but she isn’t stupid. His thoughts contradicted itself when she didn’t slow down and he thought “is she retarded’.
At seemingly the last possible moment Rainbow Dash slammed on the brakes and the car came skidding to a stop, a large cloud of dust covered Twilight, Fluttershy and Callahan. Rainbow Dash hopped out “this thing is awesome” she yelled out and Callahan grunted to himself “yeah cause Ford is sooo terrible” he chuckled and Rainbow Dash recalled her statements the recent day. “Oh come on… okay fine I take it back, Fords kick ass” she laughed and was about to hope back in the driver seat but Callahan shook his head “maybe another time, but right now I’m driving” he replied and Rainbow Dash sighed and looked at Fluttershy and Twilight “fine but I get shotgun” she laughed and Callahan rolled his eyes.
They all piled in the car and headed to Ponyville so Callahan could refill his car. He looked over to Rainbow Dash, “So, what was this thing you needed to get somewhere?” he asked and Rainbow Dash shrugged “I forgot when I started driving” she told him and Callahan chuckled “Next time just ask… and fill up the gas tank why don’t yah” Callahan chuckled and Rainbow Dash gave him a serious look “you’d let me drive your car?” she asked seriously and Callahan thought about what he was saying and nodded.
Rainbow Dash pointed to the car “you’d let me drive this Ford Gran Torino right here?” she asked seriously. Callahan let out a half reluctant sigh “yeah… I’d let you drive this Gran Torino… but make sure when you do you fill up the gas tank” Callahan sighed. Rainbow Dash let out a loud “YES”.
Callahan drove the car up beside the gas pump and got out to start pumping gas. As he began to pump gas the same attendant from the day before came running out. “Sir no smoking by the… oh sorry” he apologized and Callahan chuckled. He finished pumping gas and handed the attendant 70 bits. Callahan hoped back in the car and Twilight directed his driving to the train station.
“I’m going to go with Twilight… if that’s okay” Fluttershy said shyly, Callahan chuckled “whatever you want, it doesn’t bother me in the least” Callahan told her with a wink, Rainbow Dash looked at them both “ha, forget going on that slow train, I’m going with Cal” she said and hoped into the passenger side.
“What makes you think that I won’t go slow?” Callahan asked and Rainbow Dash laughed “ha, yeah that’s funny, Callahan I can see right through you… oh and if you break Fluttershy’s heart, it won’t matter what kind of weapons you have because I’ll kill you” Rainbow Dash threatened and Callahan chuckled “then I have nothing to worry about” Callahan replied. Rainbow Dash laid back in the seat “spoken like a true gentle-colt… now drive” she laughed and Callahan slammed on the accelerator, and as always the car’s front end lifted off the ground as they raced the car to Canterlot.
* * *
Callahan leaned on the side of his car, standing on his hindlegs as they waited in front of the princess’ castle for the others. “Here they come” Rainbow Dash informed Callahan who nodded. Ahead of him on the street came 5 ponies, he recognized Twilight and Fluttershy but the other three he didn’t. There was a pink pony with fluffy pink hair that bounced around erratically, then there was a white unicorn with purple hair walking like royalty and finally there was an orange pony with a cowboy hat.
Twilight stepped forward “Callahan meet Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Applejack” Twilight introduced each of the ponies and they all returned the greetings. “Well I suppose we should see what she wants” Callahan suggested and they all made their way up the steps of the castle.
As they walked down the long hallways towards the throne room, “what do yah’ll suppose the princess wants” Applejack asked and Twilight shrugged “I don’t really know, she just requested a meeting with Callahan” Twilight informed them. Rainbow Dash let out an irritated groan “then why are we here?” she asked, obviously figuring she had better things to do, like race around in Callahan’s car. “Well… I guess I just thought she might need us as well” Twilight told them and Rainbow Dash’s head drooped in disappointment. “I hope she isn’t made about that sword” Callahan muttered and they all looked to him. “What sword?” Applejack asked curiously, expressing the entire groups thoughts, Callahan shrugged “oh I’m sure it’s not related, I just kind of busted Star Swirl’s sword is all” Callahan chuckled but Twilight gasped. “YOU DID WHAT” she exclaimed and they all stopped.
“I shot Star Swirl’s sword of Wisdom… why is that bad” Callahan asked calmly but then realized it was kind of a stupid question but then again she wasn’t there to see what was happening. “You fool, Celestia might have you imprisoned, banished… exiled away into the Everfree… oh this bad, this is really really bad” Twilight worried. “Bah, don’t worry yourself Twilight, ah’m sure that if he was in deep trouble they woulda sent the guards after him” Applejack assured her worried friend.
They reached the throne room and opened the large doors. Princess Celestia was waiting for them. “Ah, it is so good to see you all” Celestia said in a very calm and soothing voice, she couldn’t really have brought Callahan here to have him punished, could she? Fluttershy ran up to Princess Celestia and began to beg to her “please don’t exile my friend, he’s a really good pony and probably didn’t mean to” Fluttershy pleaded. “Uhm Fluttershy… you don’t have to try and defend me… it’s okay, I’ll be fine with whatever punishment she throws my way” Callahan chuckled.
“Punishment, for what?” Celestia gasped in a shocked tone, “Well didn’t Callahan break Star Swirl’s sword?” Twilight asked and Celestia chuckled “yes but it was in good cause” she replied. “What? What kind of cause could justify breaking an ancient relic?” Twilight asked and Celestia blushed “Well if you must know… my rather disobedient nephew tried to kill Callahan with the sword and Callahan was only defending himself in the process” Celestia informed them. Rarity scoffed “I always knew that good for nothing snot-nosed brat would do something ignorant and disrespectful” she scoffed and turned to Callahan “I hope you gave him the whipping of his life” she replied and Callahan shrugged.
Celestia chuckled “if you all don’t mind I would like to have a moment with Callahan” she told them, they all bowed and left. “Please Mr. Callahan come this way” Celestia offered and Callahan followed her up a flight of stairs. “Mr. Callahan, I have a proposal for you, if you would be so kind to hear me out” she began but Callahan cut her off “sorry princess I already got a mare-friend” he chuckled and Celestia shot him a glance “oh I’m kidding, I know you weren’t really going to propose to me” Callahan chuckled, “how did you know I wouldn’t ask you that?” she asked him and Callahan shrugged “your tone of voice, your eye dilation, usually ponies are a little bit more nervous, even if not by much, when asking a question like that” Callahan replied and Celestia nodded as they continued up the stairs.
“So like I was saying, I don’t suppose it would come as a surprise to you that our army isn’t all that powerful” Celestia informed him, Callahan gave her a curious look “actually that’s news to me” Callahan told her. They reached the top of the stairs which led to a balcony at the very top of the castle. “Well in the last 2 years we have come very close to losing many battles with: Nightmare moon, Discord, Changelings, King Sombre and even some internal conflicts have nearly brought us to the brink of defeat” she informed Callahan who hoped up onto his hindlegs and rested his forelegs on the balcony ledge.
Celestia pointed out to Equestria, to no-where in particular but at Equestria itself. “My sister and I rule this place together but if we were ever to face a threat to great that the elements of harmony couldn’t defeat I’m afraid our army wouldn’t fare much better” Celestia said and Callahan turned to her. “So what’s up?” he asked and she looked off into the distance “I have never met a pony with firearm talents that you have, other than convicted murders and multination criminals” she told him and Callahan turned his gaze from Celestia out to the beautiful lands of Equestria “so what’s this little proposal of yours?” Callahan asked and Celestia turned to him.
“As I was saying, our army isn’t the greatest because we don’t exactly issue firearms to ponies, but if the circumstance did arise that we needed weapons of such destructional capabilities we wouldn’t have enough time to train our army to use firearms” she informed him and Callahan chuckled “so what do you want me to do? Teach the entire army how to use a gun?” he asked, knowing the answer would probably be no. “No” Celestia replied, confirming Callahan’s thoughts. “I would like you to be like a personal ally to use, whenever something so powerful arises we could always rest easy knowing that you are our ally” Celestia told him.
“So what, like a legal assassin?” Callahan asked and Celestia shook her head “think of it as a guardian of peace” she told him and Callahan chuckled and put his foreleg around her neck “Hmm a dictator and a criminal” Callahan chuckled, “we are not” Celestia gasped and Callahan chuckled again “it’s a joke” he replied. “Oh, well okay then, I’ll have to get used to your strange sense of humor” Celestia told him. “You know Celestia I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, besides you’re a homicidal dictator and I’m a convicted murderer and multinational criminal” he chuckled. The landscape was beautiful and a small smile tugged at the side of Callahan’s lips.