“W-What is that?” I muttered desperately. I needed to find my way out of its mind and I need to do it fast. And all of the sudden, it let go of me, returning my mind to where it once was. I gasp and reopen my eyes.
“G-Golden.... what just happened?” Her voice shaky and distressed. “Are you okay?” She continues to ask pleadingly.
“Y-Yeah... I guess I’m fine” I responded weakly. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was fine or not and that scared me. I didn’t want to tell Shy because it might make her worry more. I wanted to avoid worry and try and skip to happiness, but it never is easy, never was easy at all. I search out with my mind and still feel it there, waiting for the next move. I inwardly shivered and tried to shake its presence off my mind. I work up a slight smile despite the situation. “Believe me, everything’s fine.”
She looked at me for what seemed like a long time. “A-Alright, I believe you. Just let me know if anything changes.”
“I will let you know,” I work up a smile and nom a muffin. “You will be the first to know.”
She smiles warmly, cheering me up all of the sudden. “Good. I don’t want to let anything happen to you.”
I smile. “I’m glad I can trust you... actually, you are the first pony I can trust.”
“Really? The first you can trust?” She asked innocently, meaning no harm.
“Yup... I still don’t want to talk about it.” I shifted my fore hoofs on the ground, mind flipping back to what feels like a past life. I shuddered when I recalled the more sensitive memories.
“Ah” She simply responded, gazing at me. “I can respect that. Some things take time to talk a while.” She frowned, “Mine... I try to avoid talking about on a daily basis.” I nodded, understanding why she said that. I relaxed as the memories faded away. I avoided asking what it was that bugged her to be considerate.
“Same here... I relive it every night in my dreams...” I shuddered and she lays a hoof on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. “Nightmares... are truly powerful.”
She nods, “I know... but let’s not dwell on our pasts anymore. What we should focus on now and then the future.”
“Yep,” I responded with a slight smile. She makes me feel better no matter what I was feeling “Those two are the only things that matter now... but when I do think about the future, all I think about is the past...” My smile falters. “I guess living my life like what I did changed a few things inside me.”
“You... can only hide your past but eventually, it catches up with you and you begin to notice things you haven’t before...” She perks up slightly and looks me in the eye. “Things don’t stay bad for forever.” I guess meeting her was quite the improvement, but something inside me still felt empty, as if it were left unstirred. I tried to ignore the feeling, I tried to cast it away but it still was there.
“You’re right... but if things stay so bad for so long, you forget what good things are. I... can’t remember any good things from my past...” I shift my forhoofs on the ground, a little unerved at my revelation.
“It really was that bad?” Immediately, she regretted asking because my gaze hardened slightly.
“You don’t want to know, and I don’t want to tell you.” I said, the words coming out harsher than I intended. “Nopony should ever go through what I have gone through... and I have the scars to prove it.” I gaze back at my heavily scarred wings, sighing lightly.
“Oh... I...” She fell silent, gazing at my wings, the look of curiosity etched on her face. “I... don’t know what to say...”
“Please... for my sake, don’t say anything...” My gaze softens back to what it was. “I... don’t want to expain at all...”
“Than you don’t have to tell it to me...”
“I won’t tell it to you yet. Just be warned that I can and will explain to anypony who asks. Nopony asks, nopony tells.” I try working up a faint smile, but nothing was there to work up. My emotions felt rather empty, as if everything that was there faded into oblivion.
“Ok” She noms a muffin slowly, as if she was contemplating something important. “What if I do end up asking?”
“Than I would tell you what happened... even if I don’t want to.”
She continued to ponder for a while before finally saying, “No... I’m not gonna ask... but I certainly am curious.”
“I noticed.” I nom another muffin, savoring the sweet flavor that went along with it.
“I thought you would notice,” She said with a smile. “You seem to be very observant.”
“I’m really not that observant, I never have been.” I confessed. She just smiles and noms a muffin again. I smile back and take one out of the basket. “These things really are good.”
“Yup!” She noms yet another one and I smile in amusment
“Somepony’s hungry,” I said.
“True enough, what do you want to do after this?” That question surprised me. I have never been asked it before, especially by somepony as nice as Shy. I just stare blankly, unsure of how to even answer the question.
“I don’t really know,” I respond after a while of thinking. “You took me around Ponyville, showed me the library and gave me muffins. That was the nicest thing anypony has done for me and for that I thank you. I’m... not sure if I want to stay here anymore though.” I get up and begin to trot towards the door.
“Wait... please don’t leave. It’s perfectly safe here in Ponyville so why leave?” I halt just before I reach the door.
“S-Safe?” Finally safety, something I’ve been looking for during the past few weeks after I ran off. She gets up and smiles sweetly.
“Yeah, you’re safe here. It also looks like you need a place to stay that is if you decide to stay here.” She slowly trots toward me. I reach for the doorknob but I halt just inches from touching it. Wait… what if she really is telling the truth? I have been looking for a safe place ever since I left… but is it really safe here? Is it full of ponies I can trust? I sigh and draw back from the door, conflicting emotions showing on my face. She smiles faintly as I trot back to her.
“Really? For the first time I’m safe?” She nods and I breathe quite a large sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia…” My smile gets wider. “I’ve never even been safe before… but now I am.”
She continues to smile, “How does it feel?” My smile widens further.
“It feels good, really good.” I trot back to the table and sit down; she follows not far behind me, smiling widely. “How about this, do you want to go back to the clearing where we met? I mean, it really seems like a peaceful place.” She thinks for a moment or two before nodding.
A few minutes later, we finish off the rest of the muffins and trot out of Sugarcube Corner and toward the clearing. After five minutes, we arrive and I immediately trot over to a large oak tree in the middle. I look at it and lie down in the shade, sighing contently. She manages a small giggle and trots over to a willow tree next to mine. She immediately lies down and smiles at me. I smile back, plucking a blade of grass and toying with it. I continue doing this for a moment before I gently put it on the ground.
“I can do this all day and never get tired… laying in the shade is one of my new favorite things.” I said. She giggles and nods in agreement.
“Same here.”
I smile and reflect on what happened earlier today. Clearly the best point was meeting Shy but something she said kind of bugged me a little.
“Did you really mean what you said back there? That you now consider me as your family?” The words come out as indifferent as my emotions were earlier today. She smiles warmly
“Of course I did mean that… I would never turn down a pony like you.” Now that I think about it, why did I even ask her that question? What was the point in questioning her about what she said earlier? I remain silent, contemplating her words.
“You seem nice… and I really do need a home...” I shift my forhoofs.
“Like I said earlier… you can come home with me.” I snap out of my mental funk, her words finally reaching me.
“R-Really? You would do that after everything that you have done for me?” I said, clinging onto the hope that she would give me shelter and solace from the ones who absolutely ruined me.
“I would. I promised you that you would be safe with me and I am not backing down on that promise. I never have backed down and I certainly will not back down to you.” My smile widens further.
“Thank you… for everything. If it wasn’t for you…” I trailed off, not wanting to think about it at all. The look of curiosity appears on her face again. I could tell she was curious which is why I couldn’t stop the next few words from coming out. “I would be dead…” I clamped a hoof over my mouth, immediately regretting what I said as the look of curiosity on her face increased. She went silent and that was exactly what I’ve feared I would do. I tried to hide my past from her but part of it slipped out.
What have I done? Now surely, she would ask… I thought frantically. The curious look on her face grew with every passing moment…
“I… don’t want to know… doing that may set you off…” I nod, knowing all too well that it was the truth. I wanted her not to ask, I couldn’t bear to tell her what happened earlier in my life because I knew I would lose it emotionally. Losing it in front of others is something I want to avoid. After a long pause, she spoke again. “Ok… I’m not gonna ask… for your sake”
I smile softly, “Good… I don’t want you to see me depressed… we already had too much of that today.” I sigh happily and pluck another blade of grass. “Way too much…”
“Yup! I totally and completely agree with you,” She said, smiling slightly, “and if I’m right, if you spend some time with me, you won’t be so depressed because I make others happy.”
“That’s great! And now I am a part of your family... so I can stick with you and be happy?” She nods and my smile widens yet again. I pull out my notebook and write something down pretty fast before putting it away. She looked at me and then looked at my notebook. I could tell she wanted to ask what I was writing but I didn’t want to show her, at least, not yet. The reasons behind that were mine and mine alone, nopony else should know. I have to know that I could trust Shy fully before showing her and even then, it wasn’t finished. I doubted that it would even be finished in a month, maybe perhaps a year.
The both of us remain silent for a while, enjoying the surroundings and each others company. My mind brushed against the thing that seemed to have taken root inside my mind. This time, it didn’t react negatively to it and I relaxed ever so slightly. That experience was interesting but I really don’t want to experience it again. I didn’t really know that my mind can brush up against whatever it was that attached to me and I really didn’t know that it could make me react negatively to it. I guess that there is a lot more in life that I didn’t quite understand. I smile and pluck another blade of grass, inspecting it in the sunlight. I could tell she wanted to know why I did that but again, I’m not telling because it’s something sensitive. There is a bunch of things I can’t tell her just yet because I don’t trust her enough.
“So, what do you want to do next?” She asks, breaking the silence that descended upon the clearing. I racked my brain, trying to think of any possible thing to do. As usual I come up with a blank and I just look at her.
“I’m not entirely sure,” I confessed. “I did everything I even wanted to do today and it was all thanks to you.” She just smiles and gives me an appreciative look and a nod. “You turned my life around.” The look of curiosity appears again and fades quickly. I could tell she was curious and I wanted to tell her what happened earlier in my life but I just couldn’t. In response, I just moved closer to the tree wanting to close my eyes and the memories were slowly filling my mind. I didn’t try and let them in, to protect myself and Shy but even then, things still poured through and I was absolutely powerless to stop them.
A sharp knock came from my door and I silently moved to the back wall, whimpering quietly. The knocks came again, much more forcibly and I still didn’t answer. All of the sudden, the door slammed open and an angry looking silver alicorn with grey eyes and mane trotted in towards me.
“N-No” I whimper. The alicorn just smirked and continued advancing on me. Her eyes glowed a shade of silver and my hooves leave the ground and I get pinned against the wall, trying my hardest to break it. She just smirks and draws a silver knife. I struggle harder and harder, trying my best to either break the spell or at least get her far enough away from me. It doesn’t work, it never works.
“Yes.” Her voice rang through the air and my mind. It was directed toward me with so much force and malice; I shrank further back against the wall just wanting it to end. “I know you are a failure... and I shall treat you as such.” A look of pure malice crossed her face as she put the knife to my neck. I shut my eyes expecting the worse but hoping for the best. I call out weakly and struggle against her iron grip. I kicked her with my hind hoofs and her grip slackens enough for me to wiggle out and escape. She tackles me to the ground and tries to impale me with her horn. I growl deeply and roll out of it, getting up and galloping off.