Sorry, But Your Princess is in Another Dimension

by Mr AJ


Homeward Bound

When I awoke the next day, it was well past noon. My phone said three so I figured it was a good time to get up. I tried to grin, but was interrupted by a mammoth yawn. Sleeping this late was a new record for me, as back home, I was usually up by eight at the latest. A gurgling in my gut quickly told me to hit the head and quickly. While I was taking care of business, I heard a gentle knocking on the front door which struck me as odd. This is a public library after all. I finished and went to see who this was. On my way, I called out to Spike and Twilight.

"Hey you guys! Where is everyone?" The mess from the party had been cleaned up and there wasn't a soul to be found. Still grumbling to myself I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hi! I'm sorry, but neither Twilight or Spike seem to be here at the moment, but I'll do what I can for you. My name's Anthony." I said as cheerfully as I could. A white unicorn wearing a saddle bag stared at me, her royal blue mane bouncing in the wind. "Um, You're Rarity. Right Miss?"

She smiled. "Yes, I'm the owner of Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique. As it happens, I'm not looking for Twilight, but, you." She explained.

"Where are my manners, please come in Miss Rarity. You were looking for me?" I asked, standing back to let her enter. She trotted in and stood in the middle of the room, pulling up a nearby stool.

"Could you stand on this please?" She asked, taking a measuring tape and a sheet of paper out of her bag, along with a pencil.

"Um, what?" I asked profoundly. It was much too early for this.

"I'm sorry darling, I thought Twilight would have left a note or something. I'm here to take your measurements for a outfit I'm making for you to use on your journey. It won't take long, just hop on up here, and we'll get right to it." She said, positively beaming. As small as the stool was, I wasn't sure how I could with four legs. I couldn't stand up for long on just two hooves.

"Uh, how?" I asked.

"Oh, right." She said, realizing the predicament. "Don't worry, Twilight showed me a spell to turn you human for a few minutes." She told me in a reassuring tone. Before I could say anything, her horn glowed and she hit me with a blast of magic. I felt the same sensation as before. I now looked down at the fashionista and felt rather naked. The mare looked me up and down as I now stood on the stool. She levitated the measuring tape and went about her work never batting and eye. Which only made sense, I mean ponies didn't normally wear clothes themselves. They were probably used to seeing this kind of thing. I held back a laugh, thinking about how this would work back home. I was brought out of my wonderings by a hoof to the knee. I looked down at the seamstress.

"I said I'm done. You can get down now." She said while she put away her things. I stepped down and felt the spell wearing off as soon as my foot hit the ground.

"What sort of outfit is it?" I asked the mare while I held the door for her. She turned and winked.

"A surprise." She answered and pulled the door shut.

I stared at the door for a second before my stomach rumbled that it finally woke up. I strode into the kitchen with only one thing on my mind; stew. I rummaged around to find the right sized pot. I got the pot and water going, I cut up some carrots and other vegetables and threw in a few good spices. Soon it was simmering. While I waited I found a book called Possible Temporal Discrepancies in Dimensional Jumping and decided to expand my understanding of magic. That and the cover looked cool. Over the next couple of hours, I read over a few chapters and found some kind of formula in the back that would have told me how to figure out exactly what the difference was from my world to here, if somepony hadn't started knocking on the door again.

"It figures," I sighed. "Not that I was good at math anyway." I went to open the door for the new comer but Twilight walked right in followed by Spike, who went straight to the kitchen, and a naked woman. "Heya Spike, Twilight. I got a stew going in the kitchen. Who's your knock-out of a friend?"

Twilight giggled as she spoke. "Take a closer look." It was my turn to laugh.

"Ms. Sparkle, It is taking every fiber of my being not to stare." I told her through clenched teeth. The woman plopped down on the couch and looked at me slightly crooked eyes. Golden, crooked eyes.

"You could just ask me, you know. I'm right here." She said.

"DERPY?!" I asked, completely dumbfounded. I mean seriously, my jaw is probably bruised from hitting the floor so hard.

"The one and only!" She shouted. "Oh, is your nose bleeding Anthony? Are you all right?" She asked, suddenly jumping up. Good god. Sure enough, there was a few droplets of blood on the floor. "Let me get that for you, here's a tissue. Whoa-OOF!" How she managed to trip and fall in the space of six feet, I'll never know. How she managed to land on me is even more of a mystery. Twilight was busy laughing her flank off. Not that I was complaining. I opened my eyes and saw the purple mare rolling on the floor. You've got to sleep sometime Twilight, you've got to sleep sometime. As Derpy got up, she pushed down on something. Something sensitive. I yelped and did an impressive flip onto my hooves. I staggered into the kitchen and tripped on a rug and landed in the pile of pots and pans from earlier. Twilight and Derpy came in to see Spike pulling me out of my stainless steel tomb and helping me to my hooves.

"Oh my gosh, Anthony, are you okay?" He asked.

"SOUPS ON, EVERYPONY!" Was all I managed to say before I fell back over into it.

We eventually sat down to eat and not five minutes later somepony was knocking at the door again.

"If it ain't telemarketers, it's somethin'. Never fails." I grumbled and got up to answer it and immediately wondered why. It wasn't my home. The knocks came faster.

"Twilight? Spike? Anthony?" The voice called. It sounded like Rarity. I opened the door and she trotted in carrying a large bundle.

"Hey, Rarity. What's in the bag?" Derpy asked, as she Twilight, and an excited Spike came in to the room.

"Why, it's the outfit I made for our friend here. If Twilight would be so kind, as to cast the longer lasting spell, I'd like to see how it looks on you dear." She said. Derpy opened the bundle and pulled out the different pieces. A pair of tan denim pants, a crimson red button up shirt, a pair of black faux leather gloves, and the whole bag turned out to be a canvas duster that was just a shade or two lighter than my hair. Needless to say, I was impressed. This much work and this high of a quality was just mind blowing that it was done in so short a time. I ran into the storage room and wriggled to my shorts before trotting back out for Twi to cast the spell.

"Alright, fire away!" I shouted and felt myself change as she cast the spell. I slipped everything on and strutted around the room. Rarity chuckled.

"I take it that means you like it?" She asked. Did I like it?

I walked over and picked her up in a bear hug. "Rarity, you have no idea how much I wanted one of these coats. Thank-you! Everything fits great!" I said holding the mare.

"You're quite welcome dear, but could you put me down please?" She asked. I set her down. I also noted that my shirt was full of white hairs. Just like a friggin' cat. After readjusting her mane, she continued. "That's not all, I also put a special enchantment on it." I stopped in mid strut.

"THERE'S MORE?"

"Oh, uh quite a bit more actually." she said rubbing the back of her neck. "The enchantment I put on it is on the pockets specifically. I gave them infinite capacity, more or less. You can put whatever you- Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked when she saw my wicked grin. Her ears flattened against her head and she backed slowly away.

"You gave me pocket dimensions, in my pockets?" I asked her, barely containing myself. The concerned unicorn nodded her head.

"Yes, I suppose I did." She answered, not quite sure what I was getting at. At this point, honestly, neither was I, but it sounded funny, so I went with it. She cleared her throat. "Well, anyway, it seems to suit rather nicely, but that's still not all there is to see. The others made small contributions. Pinkie made two I think. They made contributions based on their talents. Oh, and one more thing. It will magically adjust to conform to your unicorn form when you change." She let out a small yawn. "I really must be going now. Ooooh, I almost forgot. Check your left pocket, there is a pair of dresses for Twilight and Derpy. Good night Twilight, Anthony, Derpy. Good night Spikey-wikey." She said and headed home.

"I think she's got the right idea folks. If we're leaving tomorrow, we should rest up too." I said as I put the dishes in the sink. I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and started to head back to my closet when I noticed three bags neatly situated by the door. When I opened them I found that Twilight had taken it upon herself to pack the bags and get them ready for tomorrow. That was fine with me, it meant more time for sleep. Speaking of which, Derpy had decided to claim the couch for the night again. Maneuvering quietly, I made my way to my bed pile and striped down to my shorts. I wanted to see what exactly was in my pockets, but the "contributions" could wait til later. I stretched out and wished there was a window to look out of.

That night I dreamed of home, and about my family and friends. Everyone was gathered at the church for some reason. All their expressions were grim and their clothes dark. I tried to ask someone near the back what was going but no one seemed to notice me. Finally, a pale-skinned man in a black pinstripe suit wearing a red tie told me it was a memorial service. When I asked who it was for, he took me to a table near the front that was full of pictures and a couple of cheap flower arrangements. The picture of the deceased was hidden behind a clump of carnations. I moved them and was greeted by my own face. I screamed and the man laughed a horribly evil laugh. I woke up screaming to a near bone crushing pressure of hooves and a thankfully friendly voice.

"Calm down! Calm it down! It was just a dream!" Derpy said, trying to get me under control. After catching my breath and realizing that I was still in the library, I latched on to the mare like a vise grip. "What were you reaming about that was so terrible?" she asked

"Someone I knew died."

"Somepony close?"

"....yeah."

"Who?"

"Me."

I finally noticed that I had reverted back into my unicorn form. Derpy laid me back down and the last thing I remember is a wing draped across me. The clippity-clop of hooves and a giggle from the doorway woke me up early the next morning. The dumb grin on Twilight Sparkle's face broke as she spoke.

"Looks like you two are getting along just fine." I wondered what she meant and looked down. Not only was Derpy's wing stretched over me still but the other stood straight out and she had somehow flipped over onto her back and had a leg splayed in every direction. I got up and reached over to wake her up. My blue hoof was only an inch from her face when her eyes popped open and focused on me in a split second.

"NO! MY MUFFINS!" she bellowed and slapped me with both wings. That really hurts, by the way. She blinked and her eyes unfocused and she remembered where she was. "Good morning!" she said cheerfully. "Are we leaving now?"

"Yeah, I think we'd better. Before anything else happens to Anthony." She said with a laugh. Spike walked in with the three bags while I put my clothes on. I concentrated for a minute before I fired off the portal spell at the opposite wall. In a second we were on our way. Spike looked around to make sure everypony was gone. He raced to the kitchen with a mad grin on his face.

"Hello ice-cream buffet." he said to the freezer as he opened the door.