Callahan sat at the booth in the doughnut shop reading a map and groaned to himself as he realized it would be at least a 3 day drive to Canterlot. Beatrix put a warm cup of coffee and a doughnut on the table for him and Callahan looked up to her and smiled “Thanks B” Callahan said softly and continued looking at the map.
Beatrix sat down across from him “what are you looking at?” Beatrix asked curiously and Callahan handed her the map, “what are you looking at this thing for?” Beatrix asked and Callahan pointed to the T.V. “you don’t watch the evening news do you?” Callahan replied and she chuckled “not much” she laughed grabbing the television remote and turned the television on. A news anchor was talking about the weather and Beatrix snickered “real exciting, going on vacation somewhere a little more relaxing?” she laughed and Callahan shook his head. “My pet is sick and I need to go to Canterlot to get him better because the vets here don’t know shit” Callahan replied.
“Oh I see” Beatrix replied and suddenly the news switched over to news anchor, “recently today in downtown Brooklyn a building caught fire, in the midst of the chaos an elderly stallion was stuck in the fifth floor of the burning building and firefighters were unable to reach him” the news anchor told the camera crew, the burnt building in the background. “A lone pony by the name of Callahan arrived on the scene, disregarding the firefighter’s warnings he dashed bravely into the burning building, after a few minutes Callahan burst out of the building, carrying the elderly stallion on his back. He had this to say” the news anchor informed who ever watched the news and the video feed was changed to one of the ponies that had interviewed him “Sir what do you have to say about this catastrophe?” the news interviewer asked, and Callahan turned to the screen like he had done just hours ago and replied “sorry”.
Beatrix snickered “jeeze you’re a bad actor” she laughed and Callahan chuckled as the T.V. returned to the other news anchor. “Truly a magnificent and heroic stallion” the news anchor said and Callahan groaned. Beatrix laughed “you were the one who wanted to watch the news” she giggled as she turned off the T.V.
“So Callahan… you’re going to Canterlot?” She asked and Callahan nodded “I really just don’t want to drive there is all” he told her and she smiled. “Then take a train silly” she laughed and Callahan scrunched his nose “I don’t want to leave my car behind” he replied and she laughed again “silly pony, the train has a cargo train car that you could reserve for your car” she informed him and looked at her watch “better hurry though train leaves in an hour” she informed him and Callahan grabbed his coffee and doughnut and handed her 20 bits, like always.
“Thanks B… I guess this is goodbye” Callahan said with a bit of sadness in his voice, although he didn’t feel a love interest in her he was still kind of fond for her, like a sister maybe. As he left she called out to him “don’t forget to write to me you old coot” she laughed and as he left a tear came to her eye and she whispered to herself “goodbye you old teddy bear”.
Callahan jumped in his car and gave a final wave to Beatrix and yelled out the door window off his car “don’t worry I’ll write to
you” and with that he drove off to the train station.
* * *
Callahan sat by himself in one of the seats further back in the train, by the train cargo car that carried his Torino, it had cost quite a fair bit to get the car but he figured it was worth it. One of the train attendants came back to him “ticket please” he ordered politely and Callahan passed him his ticket, the attendant looked at it, stamped it and gave it back to him. Callahan watched as the scenery passed, though the majority of Manehatten was dense urban city, past the city limits was significantly more beautiful scenery. A food dolly came by and Callahan purchased a small package of two salted crackers and a bottle of water. He took waited for the pony pushing the dolly along to leave and pulled Squeak out of his pocket and placed him on the seat next to him, he still wasn’t feeling well.
Callahan filled the water bottle cap with water and let Squeak take a drink, he also handed Squeak a cracker which he ate rather reluctantly. Callahan poured Squeak another cap full of water and leaned his head against the window and watched scenery go by, he looked to Squeak and placed him back in his pocket. He looked at his watch and realized that it was 11:30 at night and he should probably get some rest.
* * *
Callahan felt a tugging at his foreleg and he awoke tiredly, he looked up to see a train attendant “sir we’re in Canterlot now” she replied and he nodded tiredly and looked at his watch. It read 9:04am, “wonderful” He muttered to himself and thanked the train attendant and trotted off the train to the cargo area. His Gran Torino had been unloaded and he trotted over to it. A security pony stopped him, “sir can I have proof that this is your vehicle?” he asked, well more like ordered. Callahan groaned and pulled out his wallet and showed him his license along with the registration for the car. “Thank you sir, you have yourself a wonderful day” the security guard said in an annoyingly charismatic voice, “you to” Callahan grumbled and hoped in his car.
Several ponies gave Callahan strange looks and Callahan realized that there were literally no other vehicles on the street, only carriages. “This… is going to be awkward” Callahan muttered to himself and drove off into the city streets, in search of the princess’ castle.
He suddenly felt the call of nature, or rather he just had to piss really bad. “Oh shit” Callahan muttered and pulled in front of a fine restaurant. He turned his car off and walked into the restaurant, surely they had a washroom or something. He was greeted by a finely dressed butler “may I help you monsieur?” he asked in a French accent. Callahan looked to him and nodded “yeah I gotta pee, where’s your washroom?” he asked and the butler gave him a strange face and pointed to the sign that read ‘washrooms are for customers only, thank you’.
Callahan grunted “man I gotta piss” Callahan hissed to the butler but he simply shrugged “that is not our problem monsieur”
he replied and turned away to service others in the restaurant. “Okay, not your problem eh?” Callahan asked and walked back outside and into the alleyway beside the building, looking around to make sure no-pony was directly looking at him he stood up on his hindlegs, unzipped his pants and began to relieve himself on the restaurant’s wall. He took Squeak out of his pocket and let Squeak relieve himself as well.
“Oh my Celestia that’s revolting” yelled a pony from the street and Callahan looked to see a small crowd formulating. Suddenly the butler from the restaurant came rushing out. “How dare you urinate on the building” he screamed and Callahan zipped up his pants and picked up Squeak in his hoof “hey every-pony look I found a rat in this restaurant” Callahan lied and every-pony screamed “RAT” and began to scurry about like a rat was the plague or something.
Callahan chuckled as the butler tried to calm the group down as they rushed into the restaurant screaming ‘RAT’, “Well my work is done” Callahan chuckled and got in his car and drove off down the city streets towards the castle that he presumed was the princess’.
* * *
Callahan chuckled and looked at the fabulous castle as he approached it. Several guards stood guarding the castle, almost like henchman. As Callahan approached the castle doors two guards slid their spears in front of Callahan and blocked his way. “State your business” one of the guards asked in a deep tone, “hey chill out, I’m here to see the princess” Callahan replied in his gruffly voice. “What business do you require with the princess?” the guard asked and Callahan shrugged “she said if I ever needed her help to just call, so here I am… now you gonna let me in or what?” he asked. The guards raised their spears and Callahan entered the palace.
Callahan roamed around looking for where the princess. “Now if I was a princess where would I be?” Callahan asked himself as he browsed through the castle. Suddenly Blueblood appeared in the hallway and looked at Callahan with an irritated and hateful look. “Callahan” he yelled and Callahan chuckled “I can hear you just fine, you don’t have to yell” Callahan laughed but Blueblood charged aggressively at Callahan, but before Blueblood struck him Callahan lept up through the air, front flipped and landed behind Blueblood, who turned back to watch Callahan begin to walk away.
“Don’t you walk away from me” Blueblood roared and began to charge at Callahan again. Callahan sighed in irritation and just as Blueblood was about to strike him Callahan back flipped over Blueblood and let out another irritated sigh. Blueblood snarled and looked to Callahan who chuckled softly, “fool, I will crush you for making a mockery of me” Blueblood yelled. Callahan sighed as Blueblood once again charged at Callahan, but instead of flipping over him Callahan stood onto his hindlegs, using his hindlegs to trip Blueblood and his forelegs to slam him to the ground. Callahan fell back down onto all fours and began trotting off again.
Blueblood got up and grabbed a monumental sword off the wall and charged at Callahan. Callahan turned and went wide eyed as he ducked the swing of the blade. He took a few quick steps back from the insane prince Blueblood and lept up to his hindlegs again. Callahan ducked as Blueblood swung the sword again, the sword tore through some old painting of Star Swirl the Bearded. “Oh shit that looked like it costed a lot of money” Callahan chuckled and Blueblood snarled and charged and Callahan again, Callahan once again effortlessly dodged the deadly blade of the sword, which tore through an ancient relic flag of the old Equestrian Republic.
“BLUEBLOOD STOP THIS MADNESS” boomed a voice from down the hallway. Callahan turned to see the dark blue alicorn known as Princess Luna. “Shut up Luna, you’re not my mother” Blueblood said in a disrespectful tone, she let out an angered scowl and attempted to grab him in a magic spell but somehow Blueblood either missed the spell or he negated it with his own magic. Callahan looked back to Blueblood and lept back just as he swung the sword again. It missed Callahan by at least a yard and cut apart an old vase jar filled with some sort of mystic dust. “Man this fight is going to cost you a hell of a lot of money” Callahan teased.
Once again Luna tried to cast a spell to stop Blueblood and once again the spell failed. Blueblood cocked the sword back and swung it violently at Callahan, with lightning speed Callahan drew out his M1911 and shot the blade of the sword, which shattered and Blueblood only ended up swinging the handle with less than a foot of blade left, which missed Callahan by a substantial amount.
Callahan holstered his pistol and fell back down onto all fours, “now if that will be all I have a” Callahan began but was cut off by a thundering voice “BLUEBLOOD GET TO YOUR QUARTERS” boomed the voice and Callahan spun around to see that it was Luna yelling, strange it sounded louder than before. Blueblood laughed “fuck you aunt Luna I don’t have to listen to you” he sneered in a disrespectful tone, suddenly another voice was heard “Blueblood… get to your quarters, or I will have you severely punished for you insolence” the voice said in a calm voice and Callahan looked back to see Celestia standing behind Blueblood who gulped. “Go” Celestia ordered and Blueblood ran with his tail between his legs.
“Sister we apologize, we tried to stop him” Luna apologized but her sister gave her a reassuring nod and looked to Callahan. “Mr. Callahan… how may we assist you?” Celestia asked in a calm tone and Callahan pulled out Squeak. “He’s sick and I heard you knew of a pony that specializes in helping animals” Callahan informed her and she nodded and looked to the shattered sword on the ground and chuckled “that was the Sword of Wisdom, constructed by Star Swirl himself” Celestia said with a frown. Callahan flinched “please don’t have be severely punished” Callahan chuckled and Celestia gave him a nod, “I was actually going to ask for your forgiveness for my nephew’s… unacceptable behaviour” Celestia informed Callahan who nodded, “oh don’t sweat it” Callahan reassured her as they made their way to a balcony.
“So… about my friend?” Callahan asked and Celestia pointed to the distant horizon where a small town sat, “do you see the town?” Celestia asked and Callahan nodded. Celestia turned to him “ask for a mare named Fluttershy, she will help you… and get those cuts on you face cleaned, they’re infected” Celestia told him and Callahan touched his face, true to her word the cuts on his face had begun to swell and were painful to touch