Sam the Snowman shook his head sadly. “Things sure weren’t working out for Twilight Sparkle. First she had learned that there were ponies that saw Hearth’s Warming as a chance to show up their families. Then, another friend proved that greed could easily consume one during the festive time. However, she was undeterred and decided seek out the friend that knew most about giving: the vain, jewel coveting fashionista. Yeah... I don't get it either.
"I just don't get it," Twilight said as Aloe worked on her hooves.
"Get what, darling?" Rarity said, her eyes closes and a near delirious smile gracing her lips as Lotus gave her a deep muscle massage. "Ooooooohhhh... yes! Yes!"
"I'll have what she's having," Mrs. Cake called out to Aloe.
Twilight waited for Rarity to calm down before continuing. "I just don't get how Applejack and Pinkie Pie could be acting like they are. I mean, they are just ruining the holiday completely!"
"You are preaching to the choir, dear." Rarity, cracked one eye open and smiled at her friend. "Though, I suppose it is to be expected with those two."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked, letting her left leg down and raising her right so Aloe could go to work on that hoof.
"Well, when you look at each of them it isn't much of a surprise that they would behave like that during this festive season." Rarity leaned back in her chair, ticking off her points. "Applejack, despite all her attempts to look like a humble farmer, has a competitive streak as big as that ghastly hat of hers. Remember, she is the one that got drawn into a competition with Rainbow Dash... it is a wonder we all didn't begin circling their heads, what with the gravitational pull their egos' mass were sure to have been producing."
Twilight considered this. "Well... yeah, she was pretty silly... her and Dash ended up coming in last in the Running of the Leaves because of all their fighting."
Rarity tsked. "Exactly. And let us not forget that Applejack is stubborn enough for several ponies already... she thought she could do a harvest all by herself and refused help because she didn't want her big brother to mock her."
"Uh... maybe. I think it had more to do with pride-"
"The pride that nearly led her to lose her farm to the Flim Flam brothers?" Rarity pressed. "Or the pride that had her running off to buck cherry trees instead of admitting she had gotten second in all her events."
"Speaking of that, did you hear that they proved Lancer Hoofstrong was using steroids? They stripped him of all his medals and Applejack has been declared the winner, so-"
"But my point remains, darling." Rarity's horn flared and her magic grabbed a cup of tea, which she brought to her greedy lips. "It is of little surprise that Applejack would become so competitive with her family. The Apples tend to be quite similar, so her ear her cousins acting as she described is a reasonable one. I dare say that Apple Bloom will do the same thing when she comes of age.
"As for Pinkie, I am surprised at your non-surprise. Have you truly forgotten what our pink friend is like? It is a wonder that greed isn't her element!"
Twilight let out a squawk of protest. "Rarity! How can you say such a thing! Pinkie is very generous... she gives parties all the time-"
"Which she gets credit for. Credit can be a powerful motivator and I have known ponies that have sought it out just as hotly as jewels. And don't paper over her eating habits... I don't think i have ever seen a pony actually attempt to steal food from Princess Celestia."
Twilight conceded that point. "Still, its not like Pinkie is some greedy monster."
"No, she merely creates them. Remember when we fought Zuul?"
~Several Months Earlier...~
Twilight and her friends stood on top of Manehattan's tallest skyscraper, staring down the strange pony ghoul that had emerged from the portal created by the possessed Fancy Pants and Octavia. The pony had black eyes and chalky white skin and wore a white body stocking.
"Are you an alicorn?" the mare said with a deep, booming voice.
"...no," Fluttershy said meekly.
"Fluttershy!" Rainbow complained as Zuul began to glow. "When a demon asks you if you are an alicorn, you always say yes!"
Zuul ignored Rainbow's outburst. "You will create your own destruction!" With a wink the pony disappeared.
"No one think of anything!" Twilight called out. "If we don't think of anything then Zol can't make avatar of destruction. Keep your mind blank... just follow Rainbow Dash's example."
"Yeah... hey!"
Five seconds passed before the six mares heard a bellow. Looking down the street, they gaped at the gigantic marshmallow pony that was cantering towards them.
"PINKIE!" the other five mares shouted.
"Yay, my wish came true!" Pinkie exclaimed, happily dancing around.
~MC~MC~MC~
Twilight frowned. "Good thing we crossed the streams of energy the Elements were producing... we would have been goners if we hadn't."
"But my point remains that Pinkie's greed nearly kiled us all. That is why I am not surprised she would expect so many presents and thus see no problem with wasting her money buying gifts to ensure she got more gifts."
Twilight nodded, accepting Rarity's argument. "I guess you are right... I just wish they would get in the spirit of the season."
"Well, you can't blame them... it is a stupid holiday."
"Say what now?"
Rarity shrugged. "It is a stupid holiday. Everything about it is stupid. The only reason I celebrate it at all is that it is fashionable to do so; that is also the reason I use this accent and I refuse to acknowledge the fact that Sweetie Belle is really my daughter."
"Wait, say that last part again," Twilight said.
"Hearth's Warming is a stupid holiday," Rarity told her fellow unicorn, ignoring Twilight's true question. "Every pony has forgotten it's true message... though I am not surprised, as the origin of the holiday is quite dumb."
Twilight's jaw dropped (which Aloe took as a sign that the unicorn wanted a tongue waxing and thus she ran off to get the wax). "Wait... how can you say that? Hearth's Warming is all about friendship and overcoming differences..."
"It is all claptrap, Twilight... I am surprised that an educated mare like yourself would believe it."
"What do you mean?" Twilight growled, not liking how flippantly her friend was blowing off Hearth's Warming.
"Well, first off we are celebrating it on the wrong day." When Twilight just stared at her blanking Rarity sighed. "The story tells us that all was warm and sunny until the three tribes began to fight. How many Decembers do you know where the weather is balmy and perfect for planting?"
"Uh... maybe there was global warming?"
"Also a myth," Rarity said, continuing on before Twilight could begin to argue THAT point. "Also remember that the first harvest had not come in yet, so it is clear that 'Hearth's Warming' actually occurred in the spring."
"If that is true, then why do we celebrate it now?"
"To make things easier!" Rarity exclaimed in exasperation. "Each of the three tribes had holidays around this time and thus it was easier to bring them under one banner by merging their three spiritual days into a single day. The earth ponies had Snow Day, which is why snowponies are associated with Hearth's Warming. The pegasi had The Night of Needles, when they used cloud magic to bring pine trees to the clouds to create forests in the skys for one day... thus why we have Hearth's Warming trees. And the windigos, which so factor into the story, were creatures that factored into unicorn myth."
"How do you know all about this?"
"My minor in college was ancient histories," Rarity stated with a smile. "It was my mother's idea; she figured that if dress making turned out to be a dud that my gem finding ability would make me a great archeologist. That's why I originally named Sweetie Belle Short Round."
"That... actually makes a lot of sense."
Rarity preened a bit at the compliment. "Thank you. My knowledge does become useful when I am in the mood to do some of my more classical designs..." The white unicorn trailed off, enjoying her leg massage.
Twilight mulled all of this new information over. "Ok... so maybe they did move when the holiday is celebrated... but the message and the story are still meaningful."
"If by meaningful you mean 'built on lies' then yes!"
"No, I didn't... you know what, never mind." Twilight sunk lower in her chair, crossing her forelegs over her chest in annoyance. "What 'lies'?"
"Well, first off many of the characters in the stories are composites. Chancellor Puddinghead was leader of the earth ponies during the exodus but she died when she looked in a river, saw her reflection, thought she was drowning and dove in to rescue herself. She was succeeded by Chancellor Smart Cookie, who was not the pony with common sense as the plays depict but a blithering yes-pony. . Princess Plantinum was never ruler of the unicorns but instead a figurehead, much like her descendant Prince Blueblood. And Commander Hurricane was male... which begs the question why Rainbow Dash was so thrilled to play him." At Twilight's blank look Rarity rolled her eyes. "I am saying Rainbow wishes she were a stallion... it was an insult."
"OOOOOooooh!"
Rarity nodded. "Second, and more importantly, many of the pillars the story is built on are quite flimsy. Why is there no oral history about the lands before Equestria? You would think that we would find ancient ruins or have relics and beliefs that can be traced back to our pre-Equestria days. But no such thing exists."
"Yeah, but-"
"And then there is the idea behind the war. The princesses control the moon and the sun... if Equestria was founded without them, then how did we survive? And if it weren't, then why were they not their guiding us."
Twilight sighed. "Fine, it's all a lie!" She jabbed her hoof (which, thanks to Aloe, looked absolutely fab-u-lous!) at her unicorn friend. "But the message still holds true! Hearth's Warming Day is about friendship and love..."
"...and merchandising and consumerism and the all mighty bit," Rarity said sadly. "Face it, my dear, Hearth's Warming has been taken over by the toy companies and turned into an excuse to buy, buy, buy. We keep the baser elements of the holiday alive but even then they are corrupted by big corporations. Just look at our play last year."
"What about it?" Twilight asked. "There wasn't anything corporate about it."
"We put it on in the 5th Street Bank Amphitheater. The programs had ads for McHay and Wheater King printed on the back."
"And the costumes were 'donated' by Ponyville Carousel Boutique... and you let every pony know about it!"
Rarity smiled. "I said it was a holiday about consumerism... just because I don't like it doesn't mean I shouldn't profit."
"But... but that is horrible!" Twilight exclaimed. "You preach and whine about how bad the holiday is but instead of stopping it you just go along with it and actually help promote the thing you are complaining about! The only thing you are really doing is ruining things for any pony that has to listen to you!" Twilight stood up, ignoring the shouts of panic Aloe gave about waiting for her hoof-polish to dry.
"Where are you going?" Rarity asked.
"Somewhere not filled with ponies that want to inspire hate in their family, demand presents, or take sick joy in being hypocrites!" Twilight stormed off, leaving a startled Rarity in her wake.
"...is this a bad time to mention our special on gift cards?" Lotus asked. Rarity shook her head, motioning for Lotus to continue.