"Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" Applejack announced. Ghost did not think anything of it. To him it just looked like several huge fields, with several lines of trees. She pointed to a tree with her hoof.
"This is where we buck the apples. Us-"
"Wait, you what the apples?" Ghost stifled a laugh.
"We buck 'em."
"You what them?"
"Buck."
Ghost howled with laughter.
"What's so funny?" Applejack asked, somewhat annoyed.
"Oh God. Nothing, don't worry. You were saying?"
"Yeah, this is where we KNOCK THE APPLES OFF THE TREES." Applejack scowled at Ghost. "Usually I knock 'em down and mah sister Apple Bloom catches 'em. Then, we give 'em to Granny Smith, wh-"
"Wait, wait, 'Granny Smith'?"
"What now?"
"Never mind, it's just...never mind. Go on." Ghost said, holding his hands over his mouth to stop any laughter.
"She does the quality control, ya know, seeing which apples are good and which aren't. She puts the good 'uns into this tube here, and they roll down to this thing." Applejack now pointed at a big grindstone. "Once down there, Big Macintosh-"
"BAHAHAHAHA!" Ghost fell over.
"What is up with you?"
"Nothing, really, I'm fine...'Big Macintosh', pff..." Applejack was the one to sigh this time.
"Yeah, he presses them and that comes out through this tap, to make cider."
"Wait, that can't make cider. Where's the alcohol?"
"Al-co-what?" Applejack scratched her head.
"How can you have cider without alcohol? That'd just be apple juice."
"Well, funnily enough, we make apple juice the same way."
"Well how can you tell which is which?" Ghost asked.
"Easy! If it's clear and yella, you got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!"
Ghost put a hand to his forehead, and slumped back against a tree.
"Are ya okay, there, sugarcube?" Ghost mumbled something. "What was that?"
"I hate ponies."
"Why do ya hate ponies so much?"
"Because of the freakin' bronies. They always fruit up my broadcast."
"Beg pardon, but what in the world is a 'brony'?" Ghost just sat there, not knowing what to say, or the theological implications on Equestria if he told anypony.
"Um. I'd rather not go into it. It could probably ruin the life of you and everyone you know," Ghost said. "We're goin' off topic, anyway, can I get some cider?"
"Nope, it ain't cider season yet."
"What? You mean I can't get a drink because it's not the right time of the year?" Ghost was becoming suspicious.
"I can get ya some apple juice if ya want. We make that all year round."
Ghost stared ahead for a while, then turned to Applejack.
"Sure."
***
Ghost and AJ were in the Apple Family barn. Surprisingly, it didn't smell like 'horse shit'. Applejack went deeper into the barn, and arrived a minute later with two cartons of apple juice with straws. AJ put both on the ground, but Ghost picked his up and started drinking. The carton was only small, so Ghost only drank a small portion. The taste surprised him, never had he tasted apples this sweet and good.
"This is rather tasty. You put only apples in it?"
"Eeyup!" Applejack grinned.
"So, tell me more about where exactly I am, because I can't find a way of getting home."
"Well, this here land is called 'Equestria'. To the South is the Everfree Forest. Nopony usually goes there, except our friend Zecora the zebra."
"Oh, yeah? What does Zecora do for a living?"
"She's a witch doctor."
"Are you kidding me? The only other person in Equestria who isn't a pony lives in a forest, all alone? On top of that her name sounds kinda black, and she's a WITCH DOCTOR, for Christ's sake? That's a bit racist. Is everyone here racist, Applejack?"
"Well, you're calling us racist, wouldn't ya say that's kinda racist?"
"I'm not a racist! I'm a melting pot of friendship! I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be Mexican! I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be black! And freakin' zebras! And goddamn ponies! So for you to stand here and call me some kind of a grand dragon racist is a slanderous lie; you know it and I know it!"
Applejack stared at Ghost, and both burst into laughter at the same time. Once they had recovered, AJ turned to Ghost.
"If ya've never been here before, how come ya know about dragons?" she asked, with a lot of seriousness in her voice.
"Wait, wait, DRAGONS live here? Fire-breathing dragons?" Ghost asked, shocked. Applejack took another sip of her apple juice, not really caring about the shuddering Texan sitting beside her..
"They sure do. Do ya have dragons where you come from as well?"
"Well, not real-life dragons, they're made-up, they only exist in stories." AJ nodded her head.
Ghost looked around the barn, before returning his attention to Applejack. "Is there anything else we can do in Ponyville?"
"There's loads of things! Why don't I take ya on a tour of the town?"
Ghost stared off into the distance, leaving a silence only filled with the mooing of cows outside.
"Let's go."