//------------------------------//
// ARTICLE 2 Part IX 
// Story: ARTICLE 2 
// by Muppetz 
//------------------------------//

	
ARTICLE 2


Part IX


By: Muppetz


 


 


 


~~~~~


 

“I’m sorry, Princess, but it’s just not possible. Maybe if we had more intact parts to study, but were working with melted hunks of plastic. We’re not sure where one part begins and another ends.”
Luna’s visage remained impassive, but her heart was heavy. It was the news she expected, but not what she wanted. “Is there any hope at all?” she asked quietly.
Bolt sighed deeply. “Princess…I could build you a rocket. I could probably even get it into space…but you’re asking me to take twisted scraps and melted goo and reconstruct a device that will not only tear the fabric of time-space, but also safely transport a vehicle.” He shook his head and gave a humorless laugh. “Unless your friend is able to explain to me, in detail, exactly how this machine goes back together and how each part works down to the very last nut and screw...” He shrugged, defeated. “As much as I would like to say I could, I can not. The technology simply does not exist.”
“I see,” she said, deflating.
“I’m sorry, Princess. I truly am. If it’s any consolation, we won’t stop working. We still have mountains upon mountains of data to quantify. It’s still possible that we might reach some breakthrough, but barring some massive development, there’s only so much we can do.”
“I understand.” Luna stared at the broken ship, inwardly wishing it would simply surrender its secrets on its own accord.
As if in response, the ship spat out a large green duffle bag, which fell to the ground with a soft thud. The green bag was shortly followed by a tan backpack. Like some game of ‘follow the leader,’ Shane jumped down after his effects, landing quite well on his two feet. Luna was once again surprised by how well balanced he was, considering his bipedal nature. Twilight spilled out next, crashing down on top of Shane’s duffle bag. Luna suppressed a grin. Shane pulled Twilight to her hooves before shouldering the assault pack and looking around the hangar. He turned and said something to Twilight before making his way toward Luna.
The two halted a few yards away, a table laden with scientific equipment separating him and Twilight from Luna and Bolt. There was an awkward silence. Luna knew she should probably break the news to him now, but she hated constantly being the one to deliver all the grim tidings.
Shane slipped the pack off his shoulders, setting it on the ground in front of him. “What are we talking about?” he finally asked.
“…nothing.” Luna breathed.
“Uh huh,” he noted cynically. He began to make his way around the station, inspecting all the alien devices that the scientists were studying. Most of the alien artifacts were protected inside glass cases on top of the tables. Only a few were out on the tables themselves.
Shane stopped at a table laden with small rectangular black tablets. They found several of them in the alien ship but so far had been unable to puzzle out their function. Shane picked one up. He toyed with the device for a few seconds before tossing it over his shoulder and picking up another.
Bolt had to visibly restrain himself from diving to catch the alien device before it clattered to the floor. Shane’s careless disregard for the artifacts was apparent. Luna reminded herself that despite the fact this technology was infinitely more advanced than their own, it was all probably rather commonplace equipment to the human. He fiddled with another device before tossing it like the last, with an unsatisfied grunt. “Cheap shit,” he muttered to himself. He grabbed a third. He depressed a small button on the side, the glossy black front flickered white for a split second before a red lightning bolt flashed on the screen, and the device died back to black, shutting itself off.
The spark of activity seemed to be enough to satisfy the human who walked over to his pack and tucked the device into a side compartment.
“What’s that?” Twilight asked, watching him studiously.
“We call them Blackboards. Just a data pad,” he said casually. “It’s a little tablet computer. They break a lot, and they’re cheap, but they make mundane work like inventory or communication a bit easier….usually.”
Twilight magically lifted one of the ones he discarded off the floor. “What’s wrong with these?”
“Broken.” He plucked the tablet from Twilight’s magical aura. He hooked a fingernail on the side of the device, and with a bit of effort removed the plastic backing on the device. He took one look at the insides of the device. “Yup, See?” he turned it over to show Twilight. The circuitry was charred, black, and looked like it had been cooked from the inside out. “When the fail safes kicked us out of slip-space, we had some sort of massive electronic failure. Pretty much anything that ran on a circuit got fried. Some random stuff survived. Now I get to sift through all this crap trying to find anything useful that still works.”
“We’ve been working on these devices for the past few days,” Bolt interjected. “Like you said, most of it seems inoperable. We found a few working devices but they’re giving us some trouble. They aren’t particularly…hoof friendly. We haven’t had much luck with them.” They grey pegasus stretched his wings and jumped, gliding to a large container on the far end of the station. He motioned for Shane, Luna, and Twilight to join him.
“This is where we’re keeping the functional equipment.” He flipped two latches on the top of the metal container lifting the lid. A sheet of glass protected the artifacts, which rested on a soft cushion. There were only a dozen or so, a disappointing amount.
“Ha!” Shane burst, upon seeing the collection. “I was wondering where that went.” Shane pulled on the edges of the glass lid, attempting to pry it open. It didn’t budge. The case was locked up tight.
“Hang on,” Bolt turned and started, “I’ll get somepony to come unlock th-”
“SHANE DON’T-!”
*SMASH*
“It’s cool. I got it open.” The human noted nonchalantly, discarding a heavy microscope.
Luna smacked a hoof to her face, shaking her head. “I can’t take you anywhere, can I?”
Shane ignored her, picking up one of the devices. It was a sleek silver pad, very similar to the tablet computer but much smaller. One side was a highly polished black screen; the other was made of some sort of lightweight silver metal. Two black oval buds somehow clipped onto the sides. A strange orange and purple symbol was etched onto the back of the machine alongside a small black lens.
“What is it?” Twilight asked.
Shane didn’t answer. He popped the two black buds off the side of the device, cupping them in the palm of his hand. With his free hand he beckoned Twilight closer with a finger.
Confused, Twilight looked back at Luna for advice. The Princess merely shrugged her wings. She had no idea what he could be playing at.
Twilight edged closer, Shane grinning at her hesitation. He took a black bud into each hand, setting the small silver pad aside. He reached for Twilight’s head and she recoiled.
“Aw, now you’re starting to hurt my feelings,” he teased at her reaction. “All this quality time together and you still don’t trust me?”
“Not really,” Twilight admitted with a small grin.
“Hmm. I guess I should be proud of you. Now come here, you wanna see what it does or not?”
Twilight reached her head back toward him, comforted with the knowledge that Luna was watching the human like a hawk. He pinched the black buds in between his fingers. He held Twilight’s head in place with the heels of his palm, and as gently as he could, plugged a bud into each of Twilight’s ears.
It certainly wasn’t what she was expecting, but she was willing to play along for the time being. He released Twilight’s head and picked up the silver pad. He swiped and prodded at the mirrored screen which Twilight saw was now glowing with activity.
Twilight watched him curiously. With the buds in her ears, the world had become strangely muted. Her own breathing seemed much louder than usual. Limited hearing aside, she was still able to understand him when he began to speak.
“Probably ought to start you off with something a bit tamer. Wouldn’t wanna culture shock the shit out of you….yet. Here, see how this strikes you.”
He poked the screen one final time before lowering it and watching Twilight, apparently waiting for her reaction.
She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. She didn’t feel any different. She was just about to say something when the soft line of a violin echoed through her head. The note faded away, only to come back. The uplifting notes were slowly joined by an entire symphony of instruments. Twilight felt like there was an entire orchestra in her head. “Its music!” she announced, infinitely excited. It was so delightfully unexpected. She never even stopped to wonder about humans having an artistic side. She couldn’t help but laugh.
Shane genuinely smiled. Bolt and Luna moved forward, both instantly fascinated. Shane set the silver pad down in front of Twilight, allowing her to see the glowing screen. There was a small black and white picture on the display. It was a clearly aged human male. Bold white words floated across the screen under the picture.

‘Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky-1812 Overture’

There was also a running timer informing her how long she had been listening. A small lightning bolt in the top corner of the screen glowed dull yellow. Inside the little bolt were numbers. ‘23%’ She watched it for a moment, and noticed the number was dropping it now read ‘22%’. She realized it must signify the charge of some internal power source.
Luna seated herself next to Twilight, ready to explore the mysteries of the alien music box. Twilight touched the screen with the tip of her purple hoof. A small display of symbols superimposed themselves upon the screen. Twilight selected one, a small circle with two parallel lines. She touched it, and it flashed in response and the symphony immediately ceased, leaving only silence. A tiny word appeared at the bottom; “Paused”.
Twilight’s brow furrowed. She went to press the button again, but another symbol had replaced it; a circle with a sideways triangle. For lack of a better option she tapped it. It flashed, and once again the music flowed. Twilight smiled. She magically pulled the buds from her ears and offered them to Luna enthusiastically.
 
Luna eyed them curiously. She could hear the faint melody drifting from them, but the device was clearly meant to be enjoyed by one individual at a time. She delicately lifted the buds with a spell and secured them inside her own ears. Orchestral music reverberated through her head, as if she were surrounded by an invisible symphony. It was certainly a delightful invention. Much more convenient than the hoof cranked phonographs that most ponies in Equestria used. Few enough owned electronic stereos, and even those tended to be bulky and expensive. How the humans had managed to compress such a device into something as small as the black ear buds was simply beyond her.
With Luna and Twilight successfully enthralled with the media player, the human took to continuing his examination of the rest of the working devices. He selected a few, stuffing them into various pockets of the assault pack. Bolt watched him studiously. His heart aching slightly as he watch this creature steal away some of the biggest scientific breakthroughs Bolt was likely to ever encounter in his life, even if they weren’t technically his.
Twilight and Luna had made several great strides in puzzling out the mysteries of the alien music pad. They discovered the double triangle symbols would change the song. They were now busy cycling through a seemingly endless list of song titles. Luna was fascinated by the enormous variety of human music. It was almost eerie in a way. She, despite the similarities in language, knew the words that echoed through the buds were of humans, not ponies. It almost served as a reminder that Shane was not a lone oddity. There were indeed other humans out there, somewhere, recording the songs of their people and stuffing them into little music pads.
Luna tapped the ‘next’ symbol. It flashed and two voices began to sound a haunting melody.
-Oooooooooohhh. Ooooooooooooooooohhhh.
-I’m a dead man walking here. That’s the least of all my fears.
-Oooh, underneath the water.
-It’s not Alabama clay, keeps my tremblin’ hands away.
-Please forgive me father
 
Luna tapped the icon again.
-Whoooa
-The hot summer night, fell like a net. I’ve gotta fiiiind my baby yet.
-I need you, to soothe my head. Turn my bluuue heart to red.
-Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news, I gotta bad case of lovin’ you.
 
Luna chuckled at the lyrics. The variety alone was staggering. The little pad seemed capable of producing everything from the pulsing synthetic beats of the nightclubs, to the rolling twang of the country guitar. She wished she could explore it longer, but she was acutely aware of her more pressing duties. Still, a few more moments couldn’t hurt.
She returned her attention to the silver pad at her hooves. The screen was no longer providing her with the control symbols. The glowing screen had returned to a lifeless, glossy black. Luna tapped on it, confused. The buds were still playing their song. She could still hear the lyrics describing the story of the stallion that had inadvertently fallen in love with his physician.
She turned toward Shane who was still busy fiddling with random electronics. “HUMAN, THIS DEVICE SEEMS TO BE EXPERIENCING SOME TYPE OF MALFUNCTION. WE REQUEST YOUR ASSISTANCE REPARING IT!”
Shane ducked and clasped his hands over his rounded ears to shield them from the force of the princess’ royal Canterlot voice, teeth firmly gritted in pain. He worked his jaw in circles as he walked back over to the Lunar Princess. He reached by her head and snatched one of the black buds from her ear. “You don’t have to scream,” he began annoyed, “WE can hear just fine.” Shane picked up the device, “It just went to sleep. The battery is almost dead. It shuts off the display to save power.”
“Clever little thing,” she commented, fascinated.
“…yeah. If it does it again just push this button on the side.” He returned the device to Luna’s care and went back to his scavenging, this time Twilight accompanying him. Luna looked at the pad, display now fully revived. Luna noticed the little yellow lightning bolt in the corner had changed from yellow to a bright red. “19%” was now flashing directly beneath it.
She didn’t have much time before the device ran out of power. Luna turned, quickly spotting her sister standing with Applejack near a large pyramid of boxes. “Celestia! Come and see this!”
Princess Celestia exchanged a few words with the farm pony, who nodded enthusiastically. Celestia tucked one of the brown plastic packages under a wing and began to trot briskly over to her younger sister.
Celestia came up to her younger sister and excitedly produced one of the brown plastic packages. “Look Luna, Human food!” She floated the package to her sister.
The brown plastic packaging was sealed up tight, most likely to ensure a long shelf life during travel. ‘MRE’ was stamped across the front in big black letters. Underneath were a few smaller words. ‘

Meal, Ready-To-Eat, Individual


Menu No. 23 – Chicken Pesto Pasta’


Warfighter Recommended


Warfighter Tested


Warfighter Approved


 


THE WORNICK COMPANY


CINCINATTI, OH 45242


 


U.S GOVERNMENT PROPERTY


COMMERCIAL RESALE IS UNLAWFUL


 


FLAMELESS RATION HEATERS ARE PROHIBITED ON COMMERCIAL AIRLINES UNLESS SEALED IN ORIGINAL MRE MENU BAG


	 




“Which one did you get?” Shane asked, wandering over. Celestia levitated the bag over to him. He snagged it out of the air, turning it over in his hands. “Pesto,” he shrugged, “eh… that one’s actually not bad.” He pulled apart the end of the bag, he dug around inside, selecting out yet another vacuum sealed brown bag. “These are pretty good though,” he announced, ripping open the package. He pulled out some sort of bread square, breaking off a stick and biting a chunk, chewing happily. He held the package out, offering it to the princess. Celestia cast a questioning glace at Bolt.
“We tested all of them,” he announced. “They’re safe to eat…technically. They pack enough preservatives to mummify a small cat…but…you know…your call, Highness,” he shrugged.
“Celestia’s horn glowed as she levitated one of the bread sticks from the package. She sniffed it cautiously. The breadstick smelled of garlic and plastic. She took a tentative nibble, everypony awaiting her verdict. She chewed for a few second before shrugging herself. “It’s actually quite good,” she agreed, and popped the rest of the bread snack into her mouth, munching thoughtfully.
Shane stuffed the empty wrapper back in the larger MRE package and set it on a nearby table. He went back over to his table with Twilight, who was watching him work on yet another strange device.
Luna began to eagerly explain to her elder sister the wonders of the music pad.
 

~~~~~

 
“What’s this one?” Twilight asked nudging one of the machines Shane was toying with.
“A corpsman’s best friend,” he elaborated subversively.
“What does it do?” She poked it with a hoof.
He pulled it out of her reach. “If I can fix it I’ll show you.”
“What wrong with it?” She questioned immediately.
He sighed, “I don’t know.”
It was a thin plastic band, maybe three or four inches wide. It was hinged, so that the device would open into two half circles, like a large electronic vambrace. One half housed a display screen similar to the music pad, about the size of a playing card. The inside of the plastic band was lined with several metal sensor plates.
“What do you need it for?” She continued.
“I don’t really,” he admitted. “But I’d still like to get it working. I probably won’t even use it, but I’d rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.”
“Luck favors the prepared,” she added.
“So I’ve heard. Here, make yourself useful.” He tossed the device toward her and she fumbled attempting to catch the alien hardware in her hooves. “Take out those screws and try to get the backing off.”
Twilight examined the inside of the band behind the screen. Four tiny silver screws held a small plastic plate in place. Shane stepped past Twilight and began digging through a bin filled with what looked like scraps.
Twilight’s horn began to glow softly, as she began to magically manipulate one of the silver screws. It seemed stuck at first, but eventually the tiny metal screw began to twist out of place. Once it was out, she set the miniscule rivet on the table. It took her less than a minute to repeat the gesture for the last three.
Shane finished digging. He returned with a silver cylinder, which looked much like an ordinary coffee thermos. He also managed to find a second device, identical to the white band he was working on.
Shane presented Twilight with the second device. “If you would be so kind,” he encouraged.
“With pleasure,” she replied happily. She set about removing the backing of the new device. Once done she handed it back to him.
Shane examined the innards of the new band carefully His fingers would be too big to do any fine work on the inside of the tiny machine. He knelt down to give Twilight a look. “See that small blue square piece?” he asked.
“Yes,” she replied somewhat confused.
“Yank the little fucker out.”
Twilight complied curiously and passed it to the human who set it on the table. Shane tossed the now gutted device back toward the bin, missing but apparently not caring enough to go pick it up.
He had Twilight repeat the same spell on the old device, removing the blue square, which he discarded as well. Shane carefully fitted the new square into the old device. The screen flickered a bit but died back to black. Shane excitedly reached for the silver cylinder. He unscrewed the lid, and pulled out a large rubber mat. The mat was rolled up like a carpet, a long black wire wrapped around it keeping its shape.
Shane unwound the wire from the mat and set it on the table giving it a tiny push and rolling it out flat. The inside was covered in hundreds of tiny black mirrors. The black wire was connected to the corner of the mat, ending with a small golden jack.
Shane plugged the wire into a port on the side of the white device. The screen lit up.
Twilight smiled, “Solar panels?”
“Mmm hmm,” he confirmed absentmindedly.
“Clever,” Twilight noted.
 A bright red cross flashed happily on the display. “CLS-Support Systems” scrolled across the bottom, followed by “Awaiting Host”. Shane seemed satisfied enough with the device. He unplugged it, rolling the mat back up and placed it back inside its protective cylinder. Shane grabbed up his now functional toy and the metal cylinder, walked back to his pack, and stuffed them inside.

 


~~~~~

 
“Luna, I don’t think it did it on purpose.” Celestia attempted to reason.
“I do not care what its intentions were,” Luna replied, still blushing. “I will not sit here and allow this thing to speak to me in such a vile fashion. I will not be shaking my…’money maker’ for anypony. Regardless of how enjoyable he seems to think it may be.”
Luna had the device laying face down on the floor, so that it would know what it had done. Celestia suppressed a grin. Shane stepped past the two, reaching down and plucking the device off the ground. He looked at the title on the screen, then back at Luna before chuckling and stuffing it into his cargo pocket as he walked away.
“Where are you going?” Celestia asked.
He didn’t answer. He merely snagged the strap on the green sea bag and slung it over a shoulder, walking off toward where Applejack was still sorting through the piles of alien food rations.

~~~~~


 

 
AJ rummaged through the cardboard box. She eventually realized that the same twenty five or so varieties just repeated themselves. She did not envy whoever had to survive of these things for any period of time. She also noted that an overly large number of the meals featured some form of meat. So far she hadn’t seen any pony flesh on the entrees, but there were still ones like ‘pork rib’ or even worse ‘beef stew’ and she couldn’t help but think of Daisy Jo. She decided that she probably shouldn’t introduce Shane to any of her bovine friends.
“Whatcha’ doing?” came a deep voice from directly behind her, making her nearly jump out of her skin. She spun around to see Shane watching diligently.
“Gracious, sugarcube. Ya’ll nearly scared me half ta death. Aint’cha ever been taught not ta sneak up on ponies?”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “I casually walked over here. There was no sneaking involved. Maybe you just need to work on your situational awareness,” he retorted with a smug smile. He shrugged off his bags and stepped past the young farm pony.
He climbed up to the pyramid of boxes. He grabbed two cases from near the top tossed them down toward his duffle bag. He snapped the white plastic straps that held the lids on the cases closed.
He opened his sea bag. It looked as though it was stuffed with clothes; he fished around in the bag for a moment, producing a strange eight pointed hat, made of the same material as his utilities. He stuffed the cover in a cargo pocket before diving right back into the bag. He began to remove and discard several random sets of clothing. Most were identical to the ones he was wearing. She also saw him remove a few olive drab skivvy shirts and pairs of extra-short shorty short shorts, which she suppressed the urge to comment on.
When he was satisfied with his abridged wardrobe, he started stuffing the bag with MRE packages. Applejack wandered closer.
Shane stopped after looking at a particular package, grimacing. “Veggie Burger,” he groused. “Why do you even exist?!” he demanded of the plastic package. It gave no response, and Shane threw it over his shoulder with apparent repulsion.
  “I’m pretty sure the Princess will keep ya fed, sugarcube.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he answered. “However, I’ve never found it a good idea to get dependant on someone for something. Generous as you all seem, I’d like to maintain some level of self sufficiency. Besides, your diet tends to be a bit …conservative for my taste.”
“Ah guess that makes sense,” she admitted reluctantly, as Shane resumed packing MREs into the sea bag. “So ya’ll really do eat meat, huh?” she examined one labeled “Beef Brisket”.
“You guys seem kinda fixated on this, huh?” he noted.
“Sorry, sugarcube, it’s just kinda…strange. I don’t reckon I come across many carnivores that ain’t trying ta eat me.”
“Would it make you feel better if I killed and ate someone?” he laughed.
“That ain’t exactly what ah meant.”
“Then try saying what you mean,” he suggested.
Applejack though for a second, trying to rephrase the question. “How do you do it? I mean don’t it make ya feel bad?”
“Nope,” he answered plainly. “I refuse to apologize for my nature. But if it helps try to look at it like this,” he started. “Do you feel bad for eating a carrot?”
“No, but a carrot’s just a plant.”
“So, if I were to magically drop you in a world of sentient carrot people, how would you justify all those innocent carrots you ate in your life?”
“Ah guess ah see yer point,” she admitted.
“I promise it’s nothing personal. I wasn’t the one who decided to make animals delicious.”
“I suppose it ain’t really mah place ta question nature. It’s just mighty strange ta know this here used to be some poor critter.” She nudged a package with a hoof.
He laughed bitingly at that. When AJ asked him why, he answered; “The legitimacy of MRE meat products is somewhat of an object for debate. I’d like to believe that was at one point a living animal. But that shit has been processed so many times; to call it ‘beef’ is really more of an insult to cows.”
Applejack couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. So she gave him one of those half- hearted, uncertain chuckles and a wavering grin. She wasn’t sure if he’d actually bought it, but it seemed to satisfy him because he returned the grin and went back to work packing his food.
Soon the point came where he could no longer force any packages into the green sea bag. He closed up the opening on the top of the sea bag, barely getting the clasps to clip together. He snaked an arm through one of the shoulder straps and grabbed his backpack by a handle.
“Will that be enough?” she asked.
He shrugged. “It’ll last awhile. If I’m smart it can last two weeks. If I really stretch it, maybe three.”
“What now?” Applejack asked.
Shane looked back at Celestia and Luna who were busy talking to Bolt about something. Twilight had wandered over to where Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were observing the lab technicians running various chemical tests inside a plastic bubble.
His eyes wandered over to Rarity who was off by herself examining the contents of yet another station littered with olive drab pelican cases.
“Let’s go see what Curly-Cue is up to,” he suggested, clearly already having made up his mind.
“That’s Rarity, sugarcube,” Applejack corrected, knowing the fasionista probably wouldn’t have appreciated the nickname.
“Rarity,” he repeated.
The walk was brief, but Shane surprised Applejack when he made a strange attempt at small talk. “So what’s your story?”
Applejack thought for a minute, wondering at this newfound curiosity of his. Until now he seemed relatively disinterested in everypony. “Ain’t much ta tell I suppose. Grew up on mah family’s apple orchard with Granny and mah brother and sister. Been runnin’ the family business ever since ah was old ‘nuff.”
“Hmm,” He scratched his chin with both hands, irritated with the stubble that was growing on his cheeks.
“What about you?” Applejack asked. “You ain’t said much about yourself since ya got here.”
“That’s true,” he nodded, saying nothing more.
Applejack cleared her throat, “Hint hint,” she prodded.
He grinned, “Maybe someday,” he relented, “But not today.”
AJ rolled her eyes, fairly unsurprised. They came upon Rarity who was inspecting a large alien crate, lined with black padding. The dark green box was filled to the brim with a strange assortment of gear. What seemed like hundreds of random straps and buckles were in a tangled mess in the box.
“Heya, Rare. Whatcha got there?” Applejack greeted warmly.
Rarity turned and beheld the two.
“Hello, darlings. I’m not entirely sure to be perfectly honest with you.”
Shane peeked into the pelican crate. He let out an exited “Ooh,” and snatched a tan buckle pulling it out and shaking it free of all the tangled straps that attempted to accompany it. Once free, he pulled it back. The buckle was attached to a tan thigh holster, identical to the one the Princesses had taken away from him back in the hospital. He happily strapped the empty holster to his right thigh. “I’m feelin’ better already,” he announced excitedly, flexing his leg. “What else is in here?” He continued digging. He pulled out several straps and pouches that looked like they would attach perfectly to the pals webbing that covered his pack.
 
Once he picked the crate of prizes, he moved to another. He unhooked the latches and popped it open. This one was full of thick-looking vests, unsurprisingly also covered in the same pals webbing.
“If nothing else,” Rarity decided, “It’s certainly exceedingly customizable.” Rarity levitated one closer. It was heavy. The inside of the vest was lined with thick, semi-flexible plates. She opened a velcro flap, and removed one of the armor plates. The plate was made of several hundred overlapping discs, each a little more than half an inch thick. The discs were arranged in a pattern greatly resembling scales. Each individual disc was woven out of heavy, tight-knit fibers.
Shane dug a larger vest out for himself. He also selected several attachment plates from a bin on the side.
He slipped the vest over his shoulders, wincing slightly, as he poked his arms through the holes. He began attaching the extra plates. One was a high back yoke made of the same thick material as the vest. Another two wrapped around his shoulders, covering a good portion of his biceps. There were extra plates that looked like they attached to the bottom to cover his hips, but he didn’t bother with them.
His upper torso was now almost entirely encased in armor plating. He rapped his knuckles on the front of his chest a few times, and smiled. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” He said happily.
“It’s hardly a fashion statement,” Rarity noted, “but I doubt that was its intended purpose.”
“Functionality, Darling.” He retorted, doing his best to mimic the unicorn’s accent. Rarity shot him an unamused glare. Applejack could only chuckle, deeply amused by the little gibe.
Shane just grinned wolfishly, drumming his fingers on his empty holster.

~~~~~

 
“Bolt,” Celestia began carefully, “…are these what I think they are?”
The ashen engineer’s smile was almost wide enough to split his face in two. He was clearly saving his favorite revelation for last. “Weapons, your highness.” He said with nothing but prideful excitement in his voice.
The inside of the tent was lined with steel plates and sandbags. Two long racks flanked either side, all lined up with an arsenal of human assault weapons. Several black pelican cases lay open to reveal thousands upon thousands of shining brass rounds. It was an impressive display, to say the least.
Bolt began to eagerly dash around the armor plated tent, like a foal in a candy store. “It’s amazing, Princess. It really is. It’s some of the most advanced pieces of simple machinery I have ever encountered.” He hefted one of the larger heavy-looking machines off the rack, using a wing to steady the machine gun, and rested it on the steel table in the center of the tent. This weapon was much thicker than the other, more sleek, rifles, but it still radiated a deadly purpose. “The concept is simple enough,” he began to elaborate. “In all honesty this is nothing more than a fancy miniature cannon. It’s designed to send little copper slugs out this barrel at supersonic speeds.” Celestia already had a basic idea of how the weapons functioned from her brief study of their smaller cousin she had confiscated from the Major.  “It’s designed to fire these,” he scooped a few brass rounds from one of the containers and let them fall onto the metal table with an annoying clatter. “The calibers vary slightly but they all function under the same basic principle. Either an electric pulse or the strike of a small pin sets off this tiny primary ignition charge on the back. That ignites a secondary charge inside the cartridge. The round is pushed out of the casing by the expanding gas, which propels it down and out the barrel. Most of the projectiles are little copper-jacketed lead slugs. But there are a few cases of specialty rounds, some packed with a burning incendiary phosphorous. Then there’s my favorite,” He pulled long shining belt of rounds from a case off to the side, and clicked the first round into the feed tray of the weapon. “These babies have the same phosphorous packing, with a secondary tungsten carbide core. This sucker could punch through an inch of tempered steel like butter...” Bolt was a little too excited about the arsenal of human weapons.
Luna stalked carefully around the room, examining the human weapons with a poorly concealed look of awe. They were beautiful in the most terrifying way. They were sleek, elegant, and powerful. They made the few cannons in the castle armory seem like ancient relics.
 
 Celestia didn’t know what exactly the humans expected to encounter to warrant such a store. She felt a very unnerving chill run down her spine. She recalled the deadly potential of just Shane with his small handgun. Just one human. What chance would Equestria possibly stand against entire armies of assault rifle toting Shane Dorans?
They were, to put it bluntly, hilariously outgunned.
Celestia, however, did not find herself envying the humans weapons. She reflected on the emotion running through her, somewhat surprising herself when she settled upon pity. What manner of existence must they have suffered through to warrant the need for such measures?
 
Luna surprised the young stallion when she spoke. “Director, would you mind stepping out for a moment. I would like to have a word with my sister in private.” She was not unkind with her words, but she was clearly not making a request.
“Oh…um, of course, your highness. Please take your time,” Bolt replied with a small bow, somewhat caught of guard. He exited the tent through the steel-plated plastic door, leaving them alone amongst the machines of war.