//------------------------------//
// Meet the Screwball 
// Story: Meet the ponies (video transcript) 
// by gapaot 
//------------------------------//

["Meet the Screwball" text appears"]
[Opening fanfare of plays as Screwball narrowly escapes a massive explosion while jumping from a drop-down corridor]
[Freeze frame]
Screwball: "What Screwball good makes me a?
[Cut to Screwball, floating in a warped room full of chocolate milk and cotton candy]
Screwball: "If bad Screwball were me, me wouldn't it duscussin' sittin' be here with you now, would me?
[music resumes playing]
[Screwball charges into battle along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets]
Screwball: "Blagraabrr!"
Screwball: "One of ya's not survive this gonna!"
[Cut back to Screwball's room, music pauses.]
Screwball: "One milk of glass, one wayward cocoa of pinch, one errant twitch...and kablooie!"
[Cut back to battle, music resumes.]
[Screwball throws solid chocolate milk behind her and Gibs a pursuing Pyro]
[Cut to scene of Screwball chugging glass from her bottle of milk]
[A level 2 Sentry gun upgrades to level 3]
[Cut to scene of Screwball continuing to chug glass from her bottle]
[Sentry gun fires rockets at Screwball]
[Cut to a close up of Screwball's face, still chugging from her bottle]
[Screwball dodges the rockets as a nearby Berry is gunned down by the Sentry. Screwball then flungs stranded cotton-candy cloud dripping with chocolate milk, destroying the Sentry gun]
[Cut back to Screwball's room, music stops.]
[Screwball slams the now glass-less milk, which miraculously keep in form of the bottle down on the table, breathing heavily]
[Camera blurs]
Screwball: "Me got derped, spiral eyes. Me am a floating earthpony, Discord's scion. He's got more [censored] ...than he's got the likes of me."
[Screwball brings solid milk to her muzzle, then notices the camera and becomes lucid again]
Screwball: "So...."
[music starts to play]
Screwball: "....T'all you fine dandies so snobbish, so orderly..."
[Screwball runs out to the final capture point and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards her with smug expressions on their faces. A devious look comes over Screwball's face and she runs with BLU in hot pursuit]
Screwball: "Prancin' aboot full of harmony and fancy physics! Come and get some me say! [Screwball covers a door frame in sticky sugar-cotton-glass-ribbon mess] Me will be waiting on ya with a splash of the 'ol cocoa. Me am crazy weird story....with a messy bloody end!"
[Octavia notices sticky mess around the door frame, and her expression changes from smugness to one of shock. Screwball throws a mock salute and floats into the air, gibbing all her pursuers]
[Screwball walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around her.]
Screwball: "Oh, me can make new Discord out of all this parts!"
[ending flourish music plays, accompanied by bagpipes]