Chapter 13 – Lasting Comfort
“Hey Twi! I got your stuff! Took forever for Dash to find her books though – I swear she was trying to waste my time, but I got them anyw… Huh?” Spike turned, and froze at the sight that assaulted his eyes.
It was very lucky for Spike that Rainbow Dash took over an hour to retrieve the books. If she hadn’t, he would have been exposed to a very intimate scene that no doubt would have left him heaving and retching on the floor. However, the sight was still enough to trigger a small gag reflex as he watched his lifetime friend quickly removing her tongue from Derpy’s mouth in response to the intrusion.
Crimson filled the cheeks of the mares, caught in a situation they were certainly unprepared for. Twilight’s mind raced furiously, trying to come up with an adequate explanation that would clarify everything for the dragon, but her inclination to overanalyze even the slightest idea was rendering her completely mute. Every thought she had would only have confused Spike more, and she found herself only able to stare back at him with the same frozen expression he had.
Surprisingly, it was Derpy who made the first move, rising from the couch and walking slowly over to the faux statue in the doorway. She drooped her head slightly, knowing she had caused a very awkward moment between Spike and Twilight. Being the source of any kind of discord was a feeling to which she had become accustomed, and asking forgiveness was now second nature for the poor pegasus.
She came close to Spike and knelt down to the floor, allowing her to look the dragon in the eye. Her face expressed concern and regret, and her voice was soft and apologetic.
“Spike, I’m sorry we startled you like that… I don’t know exactly what to say that can make it less strange for you, but the truth is that I’ve come to love Twilight, and I think it’s safe to say she feels the same.”
She looked back to Twilight who merely nodded, still flushed, though her expression had changed from frozen shame to astonishment at how easily Derpy was handling the situation. Derpy turned back to the dragon, who was obviously struggling to comprehend what was going on.
“I’ll be staying here tonight to talk things over with Twi, and I’m sure I’ll be over here a lot more from now on. I understand if this upsets you, and if you are angry at me for it I won’t have a problem with it. Just please, don’t be angry at Twilight because of me.” She gave him a sincere look of regret, and the only fear she had was that she may have caused a rift between the two friends.
Spike looked from Derpy to Twilight, then back to Derpy, slowly processing what he had heard. It was certainly a lot to take in, and he wasn’t sure he understood what had been said. Then he realized what was going on – he felt the same around Rarity. Twilight and Derpy both felt the same way, but much stronger.
It came as a blow to him, but not for the reasons that Derpy and Twilight were afraid of. He wasn’t concerned about mushy love, that Twilight had come to love a mare, or even that the mare was the clumsy gray pegasus in front of him.
He merely wasn’t able to fathom Twilight ever having feelings like that. The unicorn was nothing but a flurry of study and science, and the realization that she could feel the same as he did with Rarity nearly made his brain pop. However, instead of popping, it simply shut down completely. Spike’s vision became blurry, and he saw fuzzy images of Twilight and Derpy in front of him just before he passed out cold.
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Spike awoke in bed a short while later to find Twilight hovering over him. He gave a weak smile and managed a feeble “Hey Twi… Sorry for passing out on you.”
“No, you don’t have any reason to be sorry, though I definitely do. Spike, we shouldn’t have shocked you like that – I guess our feelings built fairly quickly, and we hadn’t realized how we really felt about each other until today. Are you alright?”
Spike gradually rose to his feet, still recovering from his impromptu nap, though he still could recognize the double meaning in Twilight’s question. He nodded in response to both. “I feel fine, Twi, and I’m okay with you and Derpy, too.”
Twilight’s jaw literally dropped at that; she had been expecting a flurry of questions and protests.
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know what brought that on with you guys, but it is what it is. I still don’t really get what’s happened between you two, but I’m not sure it’s something I want to get into anyway. Even if I didn’t like it, it’s not like I could change your mind. Once you get set on something there’s never any turning back.”
He grinned widely. “What floored me is that you actually fell in love at all. I didn’t think you would ever be interested in anything that wasn’t a book.”
Twilight began to protest the jab at her capacity for emotion, but she stopped herself. Deep down, she knew that Spike was right. Up until her meeting with Derpy, romance was the lowest thing on her priority list, if she could even say it was on her list at all. She smiled at Spike and nodded.
“You’re absolutely right, Spike. I’m actually a bit stunned myself, but I’m really happy the way this all has worked out. Thank you for supporting us like this, though I should have expected it. You do know me better than anypony else, after all.”
Spike swelled with pride when Twilight acknowledged his insight in how she thought and how much trust she had in him. He still had two nagging questions that he did want to know the answer to though, and it would be better to get them out of the way now when Twilight was in an understanding and happy mood.
“What were you studying so much earlier today anyway? I saw that pile of books when I woke up – you have to have been up all night reading.” He paused, wondering if he should bring it up, and decided he had nothing to lose by making the comment.
“By the way, whatever it was you spilled on the floor last night, you’re cleaning it up next time. It took forever to get out and made the whole library smell funky.” He folded his arms crossly.
An embarrassed look crept along Twilight’s face at that comment, and she looked away quickly, blushing furiously. Spike felt ashamed for being so abrasive toward his friend on the subject, and he speedily revised his statement.
“I mean, just be careful next time, okay? Please? It was really hard to clean up.”
Twilight meekly looked back at him, the blush draining slightly, though she was obviously still uncomfortable.
“You have my word, Spike. You’ll never have to do that ever again, and I’m sorry I left it for you to take care of in the first place. It was inconsiderate and rude of me, especially after leaving the books in such a mess as well as that list of chores. I should have at least left you a note to not worry about cleaning it up and to let you know where I was.”
Twilight looked regretfully at the baby dragon, feeling horrible for what she had put him through. “I definitely owe you for everything you’ve done today. Would a week free of chores make up for it?” She smiled weakly.
Spike’s face lit up at that offer, and he nodded eagerly, relishing the thought of a full week of vacation time coming his way.
“Anyway, I still haven’t really answered your question,” Twilight returned to the previous topic, happy to have made it through that conversation without having to explain any more. “I was looking for spells that could possibly help Derpy’s eyes again. It would make her life so much easier and pleasant if her sight was more normal, and I realized last night that I had given up too quickly. I couldn’t find anything in the books here, so this morning I went back to the Canterlot Archives to look for anything I might have missed the first time I went – that’s where I’ve been all day.”
“Good enough for me. I kinda figured you were on a studying craze from the pile on the floor, I just wasn’t sure what it was about.” Spike wasn’t sure if he should continue, but his second question kept bothering him, and it wouldn’t just go away on its own.
“So, why exactly is Derpy staying here tonight anyway?” He looked at the unicorn expectantly. Twilight looked almost relieved that the question wasn’t anything more prying, and the fact she had just told him about the spell made the answer much simpler.
“Well, of course I want to spend more time with Derpy…” Spike rolled his eyes but let Twilight continue, “but it turns out the spell is risky and the scroll it’s on is badly damaged. I have to copy it over word for word to be able to study it well enough to not endanger her. She’s staying so she can ask any questions that might help her choice on whether to use it or not. In addition, if I find out more information while I’m studying the spell, I can let her know about it.”
Spike nodded; that made enough sense to him. Twilight mentally thanked him for keeping the question to the point and not pressing farther. She knew he could easily make her very uncomfortable if he questioned much more in depth than that.
“Guess that means I’m off to fetch you some quills and parchment, then,” Spike gave a grin and hopped out of his bed. “I’ll grab them and put them in your study for you.” Spike smirked a little. “Then I’m taking advantage of my vacation and going to bed. Today has been long enough for me.”
Twilight gave a giggle and rubbed Spike’s head with her hoof. “That sounds fine to me. Thanks, Spike.”
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Derpy lay on the couch with her eyes closed, listening to the sound of Twilight scribbling away at her desk, writing furiously, making notes, sounding out sentences she could hardly read, and muttering about the dismal condition of the scroll. She felt a fair amount of guilt for causing her friend so much consternation, but those feelings were somewhat allayed by the knowledge that Twilight’s obsession with research was her natural response to anything unfamiliar.
She opened her eyes, letting them adjust to their usual abnormal state, if you could really call it adjusting. Misadjusting might be the better term, her thoughts whispered. Her own mind poked fun at her, taking joy in tearing her down when others weren’t around to do so. She attempted to repress the thoughts, but was rather unsuccessful as her maladjusted psyche continued to float taunts and jeers at her.
She sighed in resignation; it would take a very long time to break herself of her self-abusive habit. She slowly let her eyes close again. The darkness didn’t shut out the illusory voices, but the absence of her skewed vision did allow her to concentrate better, and that was what she needed right now. There was a chance that her vision could be improved, and she had to make the very difficult decision of whether she should accept the risk accompanying that chance.
Her unconscious tormentor, realizing that its mockery was being ignored, decided to assault her with memory next. Like a projector against her eyelids, she saw herself the first and last time Twilight had cast a spell on her, as well as the majority of Ponyville. She viewed her hooves locked against the mayor, fighting furiously over a scraggly looking doll.
The sadist in charge of the mental projector took the opportunity to send up a contemptuous wave of fleeting desire for the doll, just to remind her of the havoc Twilight’s magic could render. It then conjured up her memory of Twilight that day; a crazed look on her face, teetering on the edge of pure dementia, her ears twitching, and her eyes unfocused – just like yours, the voice hissed.
Then the voice was silenced instantly as she noticed forehooves being wrapped around her neck, and her eyes blinked open in confusion to see a blur of lavender above her. She became aware that her face and mane were wet; she had been crying through the torturous show her mind had put her through and she hadn’t even known it. Yet Twilight was there, looking over her with concern and her brow creased with worry.
“Derpy, are you alright?” Twilight hugged her close, not sure what her ashen friend was upset over, but convinced all the same that providing a shoulder to cry on would be the correct solution for whatever the problem was.
Derpy dove forward into her friend, throwing her own hooves around the unicorn and burying her muzzle in the sapphire and purple mane, releasing her pent up anxieties, fears, and anguish through sobs into Twilight’s soft coat. Twilight was there to help, to comfort, to support. Regardless of what her mind said to diminish her self-worth, Twilight was there to build it up again, the calm answer to her inner storm.
Her tears subsided somewhat, and she felt the despair drain away, but she continued to silently cling to the unicorn, unwilling to let her go as though she may evaporate away if she did. She felt a hoof stroking her mane as they sat on the floor, and a quiet tranquility crept over her. Derpy slowly released Twilight, looking back up to the unicorn’s face through the distortion of her tears and mismatched eyes.
The worry etched into Twilight’s face was still apparent, and she knew she had to strengthen herself enough to put the unicorn’s fear to rest. Her crying fits had fully halted, and she blinked back her remaining tears as she managed a smile. Twilight’s features softened, and Derpy felt a sense of serenity cover them.
“I’m alright now, Twi. I’m sorry; I was thinking about what to do, and my mind just… I guess it just tried to convince me that I was some aberration beyond help, and I was starting to believe it. But… then you came.” She smiled again, but now her smile was much stronger than before. “I think… I’ve made my decision.”
Twilight seemed startled to hear that; she had expected discussion about the risks, the benefits, what could possibly go wrong. She wasn’t sure she understood what just happened, and she could only manage a stunned, “What? How?”
Derpy laid her head against Twilight’s shoulder again, and prodded her in the chest with a hoof. “Just because of you.”
She saw the confusion on the unicorn’s face, but just smiled peacefully. “I’ve always had problems with mockery, but that wasn’t as bad as when other ponies weren’t around to call me names or make fun of me – somehow I’d manage to do it for them. That’s what just happened. I’ve never been able to deal with it before. This is the first time that it stopped. It stopped because you were here.”
Twilight watched the mare in awe; she still wasn’t following the logic of how this helped the decision, but it put her at ease to see Derpy openly dealing with her fears.
“Twi, I want you to go ahead with the spell when you’re ready, but not because I want my eyes fixed. Whether they get better or worse doesn’t feel as important to me as being with you, and a large part of a relationship is trust. I trust you Twi – you are here, willing to help me with all you can. If the spell is a success or failure, I trust that you’ll still be there, and as long as you are, my insecurities won’t be able to get to me.”
Twilight just stared at Derpy for a moment, trying to collect her own thoughts. She had been in full study mode, and she was fully aware that when she was in that trance, nothing could break her out of it. The last time she was this deep in thought it had taken Spike five minutes straight of poking her with a fork to snap her out of it. All it had taken to break her concentration tonight was a small whimper from Derpy on the couch.
She slowly nodded as it began to make sense to her as well. It wasn’t about the spell any more, though she was definitely going to try, and try her best. She was still frightened of failure and of hurting her friend, but she knew Derpy was right. They needed each other, and whether things went right or wrong, they would stay together. That was what mattered.
Twilight gave Derpy a tight squeeze and a wide smile before getting back up from the floor. “I think I understand what you mean, Derpy. Thank you, for trusting me with something like this.” Derpy nodded and settled herself back on the couch.
Twilight looked at her affectionately for a moment before turning back to her desk. “I’m going to do my best to make sure I get this right. I still may not, but I’m going to try, and it makes me happy knowing that you’re alright with it either way. You go ahead and get some rest. I’ve got some studying to finish.”
Derpy nodded, lying back against a pillow as she allowed her eyes to drift to sleep. She heard the scribbling and muttering resume, but somehow it was a comfort to her. No thoughts of catastrophe pervaded her mind as she drifted off to sleep, listening to Twilight work.
She slowly awoke to rays of sunshine filtering through the room, tracing warmth across her body as they moved. She stretched, and noticed that she was not sleeping on the couch anymore; at some point she had been moved to Twilight’s room, and was resting comfortably in her bed.
The question of how she got there didn’t concern her; she reveled in the fact that she was in her marefriend’s bed. She lay back down in bliss and let out a small, but happy, sigh, drinking in the scent of Twilight that permeated the pillows and blankets. As if on cue, something shifted under the covers next to her, and Twilight pushed the blankets out of the way so she could snuggle closer to the mare sharing her bed.
They both lazily closed their eyes again, resting in each other’s forehooves, Derpy’s muzzle underneath Twilight’s chin, buried in the soft fur of her coat, while Twilight placed her muzzle across the top of Derpy’s head, breathing in the scent of her mane. The intoxicating embrace continued as the mare’s drifted back to sleep, nestled in each other’s arms, savoring the Saturday morning in the best way they could imagine.
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At length, Derpy removed herself from bed, much to Twilight’s dismay. The unicorn weakly searched for her marefriend by running her hooves through the bed, still half asleep and eyes fully closed. Derpy watched with fondness as Twilight’s fruitless search slowed to a stop and she fell back asleep.
She must have been up late last night, Derpy thought. She wanted to feel guilty for making the unicorn stay up so late on her account, but a look back at Twilight sleeping soundly on the bed reminded her that nopony made the unicorn stay up. She chose to, because she cared enough about a certain ashen special somepony to worry about the time. Some rustling downstairs reminded her that they were not the only residents in the library, and she headed downstairs to tell Spike good morning.
The baby dragon was lounging around the library, taking full advantage of his newfound freedom, though he had gone nowhere close to any of Twilight’s notes from the night before. Derpy approached the desk, and almost laughed at the sight. Apparently before turning in for the night and bringing Derpy upstairs with her, Twilight had cleared a massive spot on the desk and left a comically large piece of parchment. Printed on the parchment were words written in a fatigued scrawl – SPIKE. IF YOU TOUCH ANY OF THIS, SO HELP ME CELESTIA, YOU WILL NEVER EAT ANOTHER GEMSTONE FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. Love you though, Twi.
Spike cast a sideward glance at the pegasus. “Morning, Derpy!” He noticed the look on her face and where she was, and gave a smirk of his own. “Yeah, I’m not looking to get punished for doing work, especially when I don’t have to, so I’m not getting anywhere near that mess. Are you guys going to try that spell out this morning?”
Derpy shrugged. “I really don’t know. It depends on how successful Twi was at deciphering and learning, as well as how comfortable she is with casting the spell, and we’re not going to learn that until she wakes up.”
She glanced back up the stairs. “I’m not going to wake her up. She can sleep in, she deserves the break.”
“She doesn’t really like sleeping in, but I’m with you on that,” Spike agreed. “I think she was up almost all night just working on that one scroll, so I’m sure she’s tired.” He shuddered. “Trust me, you DON’T wanna wake her up when she’s extra tired.”
Derpy gave him an inquisitive look, but didn’t press farther; she was sure she’d find out herself sooner or later, regardless. What was more pressing right now, though, was getting some food ready. She grimaced, remembering her limited menu of things that make.
“Spike, does Twi like scrambled eggs?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, she likes those. Are you gonna make breakfast?” He looked at her like she had spoken in a foreign language for a moment. “I usually do all the cooking around here,” he said, looking slightly out of place at the idea of somepony else volunteering to do something that was normally one of his chores.
Derpy shuffled her hooves a little, poking at the floor with one of them. “I’m not exactly the best cook, but I’d like to make Twi breakfast. All I can usually make is scrambled eggs though. My coordination in the kitchen isn’t the best.”
Spike thought about the idea for a moment. Twilight would definitely appreciate the thought, but nothing but eggs for breakfast sounded pretty boring. He had been looking forward to seeing Twilight attempt to make her own breakfast for once, but seeing Derpy so eager to please caused him to mull over the prospect of breaking his no-work policy. Reaching a decision, he trotted over to her side.
“Would you like some help cooking breakfast?” he asked. Derpy smiled at the offer and gave him a nod.
“That would be great, Spike. I’m sure it would be much better if you helped, you know what foods she likes more than I do, and I’m betting that you know how to make more food than just eggs.”
“Sounds good to me, then. I’ll get some coffee and pancakes started.” He gave her a genuine friendly smile. “You’ve got free reign over the eggs today.” Spike started heading toward the kitchen immediately with Derpy trailing behind him. Cooking was a lot of work, but he hadn't had much else planned for the day, and having somepony around with him made it feel like it would be less of a chore.
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Twilight woke from a peaceful night, though her sleeping had not come until early morning. She stretched her hooves, recalling her study session the previous night. She had successfully copied the spell from the scroll, though it was difficult to read through some of the smudges and smears that time had left on it. She was confident it was transcribed perfectly, down to every side note left by authors and practitioners from an unknown time.
There were several places in which she had been unsure, but she pored over each spot, noting every mark she could find. Once she had transcribed the full spell, she had gone over the instructions, noting that the syntax of every direction and footnote made sense. It was this that confirmed her confidence; if she had missed any part of the spell, even by one letter, the directions would have not made sense at some point, but that was not an issue.
She had gone to bed happy, carefully levitating Derpy off the couch and up to the bedroom, gently placing her on the bed before blissfully climbing in herself, snuggling up to the mare and enjoying the warmth they shared. She had placed a hoof across Derpy’s chest and took delight as a pleased murmur came from the gray pony. She had fallen asleep to the feeling of her hoof rising and falling with the pegasus’ breathing, and the rest had been deep and refreshing.
She was brought back to the moment as the smell of breakfast came snaking its way up to her room, and she smiled as she heard Spike and Derpy chatting about cooking. It seemed that Derpy was trying to learn some culinary tips from her number one assistant, which meant she was probably trying to help cook breakfast. She came down the stairs just as Spike and Derpy were finishing with the last of the place settings.
Spike and Derpy had worked hard to make a wonderful breakfast; Derpy had worked out of appreciation and affection for Twilight, and Spike had, for lack of better reason, worked out of habit mixed with a desire to get on Twilight’s good side in hopes of extending his vacation from one week to two.
Regardless of the motivation, breakfast went well for the trio. There wasn’t an overabundance of food, and it was by no means a gourmet meal, but for Twilight it was the best meal she had ever eaten. It was her first breakfast prepared by her marefriend, and she savored every bite as though it was a gift. Derpy would have been delighted to have received a grade of ‘noteworthy effort’ for creating a meal consisting of something other than scrambled eggs, but Twilight had enjoyed it thoroughly enough to make Derpy feel as though she were a professional chef for the morning.
Aside from the emotional investment put into it, breakfast was pleasant yet uneventful. The majority of the meal was idle chat and updates on progress. Twilight had informed Derpy of her research into the spell and explained how Derpy had ended up in the bedroom after falling asleep on the couch, and Derpy responded with cheerful descriptions of the lessons she received from Spike.
Spike just sat at the table eating and wondering if every morning would be filled with inane banter now; truthfully, he had become accustomed to eating quickly and silently as Twilight would virtually inhale the food and dash off to study something. Eventually the meal finished, and Spike went about his normal job of cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes, having given up his hope for additional time off while Twilight and Derpy made their way to the library’s central room.
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“So, this won’t hurt, will it?” Derpy looked toward Twilight uncertainly.
They had decided that now would be as good a time as any to perform the first of what would hopefully be multiple castings of Twilight’s spell. Despite their mutual trust they of course were still nervous regarding the procedure. Twilight was focusing on getting everything just right, and was reviewing the spell that she had committed to memory the night before.
Derpy was just anxious to see what would come of it and hoping that whatever happened it didn’t hurt. Unfortunately for her, the spell did not go into details on what the patient could expect in terms of comfort. She watched Twilight going over her transcribed parchment for what must have been the tenth time and noticed that the unicorn’s ear gave a nervous twitch on occasion. The sight did not help put Derpy at ease.
Nonetheless, she was still resolute in her decision. Twilight would cast, she would stand still, and they would both hope everything turned out like it was supposed to. Looking toward the desk, she noticed Twilight had gathered her instructional scroll and was on her way over toward the pegasus. She felt a knot tie in her stomach, but she was determined to go through with it.
Twilight noticed the grim look the mare had taken and tried to steady herself as well. Her mind had been asking her ‘what if’ questions the entire morning, but she knew that falling to nerves would be even more counterproductive than just stopping the entire business altogether. If it were stopped it could be started again, but if it were stopped because of fear, they would lose the courage to try at all. They had to do this, and they had to do this now.
“Spike!” she called, “I want you in here while this happens. Just in case something… happens… when we’re casting this spell, I’ll need you to help.” Spike hurried into the room and sat at a table, becoming stony and silent as Twilight explained “I need you to not allow any distractions in the least. We need absolute silence.” The dragon nodded.
Derpy looked at Twilight and steeled herself, then closed her eyes and gave a small nod. The unicorn took the signal, and slowly approached, reminding Derpy of her role in the spell – she was to move as little as possible, keep her eyes shut, and stay silent. Twilight had promised to tell her when it was over, though it likely wouldn’t be necessary.
“Alright, I’m going to start in a moment, Derpy. Unless it’s unbearable, try not to move or say anything. Once this starts, it’d be worse to stop in the middle than to see it through to the end.”
Derpy gave one more small nod, and then resumed her iron stance.
Twilight approached, making sure to follow the directions to the letter. Positioning – muzzle to muzzle, then one step backward – check. Hooves planted firmly on the ground – check. Tip of horn not touching forehead of patient – check. Eyes open and focused directly on patient’s eyes – check. All that was left was the spell itself.
The unicorn concentrated, feeling the magic flow slowly through her horn. Speed was to be kept to a minimum to avoid sudden changes. An arc formed between the two, connecting Twilight’s horn directly with Derpy’s forehead, surrounding her eyes with a purple glow as the unicorn concentrated on the magical exchange taking place.
Derpy felt the magic the moment the arc touched her forehead. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. There was an odd sensation in her eyes, and then the sensation intensified, feeling as though her eyes were being pulled, and it almost seemed as if her eyes were burning. The sensations lasted only a few seconds before they began to ebb, and after a minute all feeling of discomfort was gone.
She felt the magic arc leave her forehead, and inwardly sighed at the relief. The anticipated yet feared event was over, and she at least wasn’t in pain. She felt no pressure on her eyes, and it did not feel as though any damage had been done. She did well. I knew she would.
Twilight’s voice broke through her concentration, sounding small though she was still only inches in front of the pegasus’ face, announcing somewhat shakily, “Okay, Derpy. The spell is finished. You can move and open your eyes now."
Derpy permitted her muscles to relax, and allowed her eyes to slowly open. She and Twilight stood face to face, gazing straight ahead, each pony standing motionless with a blank stare on her face.