//------------------------------// // 5. The Best Night Ever; Take 2 // Story: Blazing Capes // by TJAW //------------------------------// Gilda Grimwing So I was just watching some TV with Mark at my house. We were just having a good time, laughing our asses off. Eating air-popped popcorn drenched in molten butter and sprinkled with salt, and drinking Mounted Dew Throwback. It was pretty awesome. Right when the vanity card at the end of the credits appeared, a car alarm sounded outside. It wasn’t mine, so I didn’t move. Mark did; he got up and galloped to the door. “What’s going on?” I asked. He opened the door. “That’s my car!” He yelled. I didn’t know he got a car, and I didn’t expect it to be a Vanquish either. Some guy was trying to break into it, a stallion I owe a lot of money actually. So Mark sprinted over and tackled him, then hit him with two right hooks. I approached them during the brief scuffle. That was the first time I saw Mark kick someone’s ass. “I thought it was Gilda’s, I swear! She hasn’t paid her protection money this week, so I came to collect it!” Mark pulled a wad of hundreds out of his jacket. “I see you again, and I feed you your fucking heart, got it?” He nodded wildly, then galloped away. I was just standing there, kinda shocked. “Where’d that car come from? And the money?” “Well, a few days ago I unofficially officially became a multi-billionaire. And this car is modified to be theft-proof, so after that scuffle, not a scratch on it. I was gonna tell you when you asked about the car, but you didn’t, so…” I took it pretty well, actually. I just laughed it off. We went back inside and got back to watching TV together. An hour and a half later, he got ready to leave. I gave him a little peck on the cheek, and he returned a kiss. “Hey, the Grand Galloping Gala is being hosted in the Target Hall this month, I got two tickets if you’re interested.” He grinned and pulled out two tickets. “And if you need money for a dress or something, I can spare five grand.” My beak dropped. I nodded. In the glove box of his car, there was a wad of hundreds, which he tossed to me. I caught it in my talons and smiled like an idiot. “We’ll work out the details later?” I asked. “You know it.” Mark circled and got in his car. He revved up and zoomed away. I had a good feeling about this Gala. I know I’m not the most feminine griffon out there, but going to something big like G3 felt like I was moving up. And if I got some new clothes, then I was getting some material gains out of it too. The Great and Powerful Trixie Well, Trixie had raised enough money to get a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. And then all the tickets sold out. It was a shame really, because there were several ponies there she wanted a word with. It was going to be a full moon though, so crime would be rife that night, and with no other plans, the Mysterious Mare Do Well would be cleaning up the streets. And if something went wrong at the Gala, then that wasn’t her problem; she was fairly certain a few heroes could make it. Marked Target Well, the night was here. The Grand Galloping Gala was starting in a few hours. I put on a tux and went to visit Cue, who’d abstained from going to the event. “Changed your mind yet?” I prodded him. “No at all,” He chuckled. “You need something?” “Yeah. You have the shortcut to the Blaze Bunker ready? I’d hate to be stuck in a tux if something goes wrong.” “Yes. There’s several panic rooms built into Target Hall, and all you have to do is get into one for privacy’s sake and use this gadget here.” He produced a small pager-like device. “Use this, and you’ll be teleported to your bunker. Use it again, and you’ll go straight back, or to the nearest available preset node.” I tucked it into my pocket. “Is it multi-use? Because I can see this being useful anytime.” “It works anywhere, anytime, and only for you.” “Thanks, Cue.” A grin and nod were his response. I rode the elevator to the underground parking level, where a limo met me. I climbed into the back and told him to go to Gilda’s house. We got there in, well, really fast considering that this is New Yoke City. Of course, the Target Enterprises building was close to Princesses, and to Target Hall, so it wouldn’t be a terrible commute. Plus, we would be in a limo. Anyway, we arrived at her house, and I walked to the door. I pushed the doorbell and checked my reflection on my watch; my black mane was still in my signature style, my teeth were clean and minty, my coat was clean, and my golden eyes were free of red veins and eye crust. Yup, still sexy. The door opened, and Gilda looked stunning. She wore a simple black dress that adhered to her form, and had slits that left her wings unhindered after she slipped them through. She also had a platinum necklace with a ruby inset. Of course she didn’t have lipstick! Why would a griffon wear lipstick? “You look amazing,” I fawned. “You look alright,” She returned. I led her to the limo, which had enough room for both of us, and a flatscreen TV, and plenty of amenities. “So,” I explained. “The Princesses will be there, and the Captain of the Guard, and the Elements of Harmony; it’s a big deal. Not just because of everypony there, but because all of this has been modified under my watch. This is the first time in a century the Triple G has been held outside Canterlot, and with a sudden change in management, it’s got everypony a bit on edge. Plus the Princesses brought their own guards and declined Mayor Bloombit’s offer of a trained VIP escort. I mean, Royal Guards don’t know jack-shit about guarding anything outside their cushy posts in Canterlot.” “You got a PR plan if shit goes sideways?” Gilda inquired. “Yeah, it’s all on a security SNAFU beyond our control. I mean, every security expert says the Princess’ security plan is saddle-on-head retarded.” “Yeah. Good thing I’m packing heat. A Nite Hawg, ten rounds of .45 in a super compact frame.” “Nice.” Things got quiet for a moment. “Wait, you said the Elements of Harmony are there, right?” She asked, looking a bit nervous. “Yeah, why?” She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “A couple years ago, I visited my old BFF, Rainbow Dash. She’s one of the Elements, and I had a falling out with her after I was a real bitch to her friends. My parents were victims of a murder-murder-murder-murder-murder-murder-accidental suicide. That’s why I visited Dash, because I needed a friend, but all the stress and emotion just got to me; I lashed out at them.” She had regret painted all over her. I scooted closer and hugged her. “I’m here whenever you need me.” The limousine came to a stop. “We’re here Mr. T,” The driver said. I was irritated that he got in the way of my feels, but he was right. A black mare opened the door, and I got ready to step out. “Let’s have ourselves some fun,” I said with a grin. We stepped out of the limo, and onto the red carpet. Cameras flashing, voices asking question they knew we wouldn’t answer. I looked up. The “Hall” in “Target Hall” was pretty misleading. It was a thirty-story building, with two opera houses on top of each other, and several fancy floors above it. The Gala was in the so called “Main Hall” in the thirtieth floor. The lobby was filled with ponies, most of them being from wealthy families. Much of the Canterlot elite had deigned not to attend, too pompous to go to a Gala not in their overrated city. So much of the attendance was more local VIPs, and I’d arranged for more varied entertainment than the norm. DJ P0n3 on one side, the Trottingham Philharmonic on the other. But it was arranged in such a way that neither side’s entertainment would interfere with the other’s, and the rehearsals that’d been held confirmed this. I could hear the press outside, cheering. “Sounds like the VIPs are gettin’ here. Where’s the elevator?” Gilda asked. “Right this way.” We entered it and Gilda pushed the button marked “30”. The box hummed upwards. “So, uh, to continue our earlier conversation… Are you packing heat?” “In a manner of speaking,” I answered. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. I allowed Gilda to exit first. “Ladies first. I have to greet the VIPs, so just enjoy yourself for a while.” “Will do.” I stood between the elevators, waiting for the first guests to arrive. And the first ones were none other than the Princesses, the Captain of the Guard, and the Elements of Harmony. That was pretty much all the VIPs I needed to greet. They all looked good, except for the Captain of the Guard. Royal Guard dress uniforms looked almost as stupid as their useless armor. “Well, hello to all of you. My name is Marked Target, and I’m your host tonight.” Pinkie Pie - yes, I knew all of their names beforehoof - rushed to hug me. “Everypony, this is my long-lost brother-from-another-mother!” “Uh, hi.” How the did she know that? “Anyway, I’ve got seats for all of you set up. I’ll escort you to them.” And I escorted them to their seats. Betcha didn’t see that one coming. “It’s been a while, Mark,” Twilight Sparkle noted. She and I actually knew each other when we were young, back when I lived in Canterlot most of the year. It was late elementary school and all of middle school and high school, I think. Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns teaches a lot besides magic, so there were actually plenty of pegasi and earth ponies like me there too. It was a boarding school too, and I got homesick a few times. Really, I only spent the first half of my life as a minor in Manehattan, and some breaks and holidays after that. “Yeah, it has. How’s um, being Princess Celestia’s protégé working out? Not that it could possibly go wrong.” I was always really awkward around her back then, because I had a crush on her ever since she got several bullies to leave me alone; she stood up to them when I couldn’t bring myself to. She was a year younger than me, and she had more guts. It was embarrassing. “Uh, good?” She seemed a bit confused by my question and self-answer. “Good, good, ummm… Oh look, the Wonderbolts are here!” I galloped over to the elevator and greeted them. Gilda Grimwing I was enjoying free drinks and watching wrestling at the bar. This Gala wasn’t so bad. I mean, almost no-one was here yet. Except Dash and her friends, and the Princesses and that Guard Captain guy. Then the Wonderbolts showed up, and Mark showed them to the VIP section. I saw how excited Dash was to be in the same section as her idols, at a nice gig like this. Nothing raining on her parade. I wasn’t gonna spoil that for her. Mark saw me at the bar and trotted over to pat me on the back. “Hey, let’s go find a table, order some food, okay?” I shook my head, looking into my glass. I’d only had one, and I hadn’t touched it after I saw Rainbow Dash. If I had one, I’d have more. If I had more, I’d get drunk. If I got drunk, I’d be confrontational towards her and cause a huge scene. If I caused a scene, I'd have to do community service. I hate the community. “Hey,” Mark whispered. “This is a second chance, don’t waste it. You said she likes the Wonderbolts, right?” “Yeah?” “I happen to know Soarin from back when he was an pilot so I can change the subject if you can’t get through at first… Just try, okay? You’re gonna regret not taking this chance later.” “Okay.” I nodded. We got up and headed for the VIP section, where a few Royal Guards stopped us, blocking our passage with crossed spears. “Names?” one of them said. “Marked Target and Gilda Grimwing.” “Gilda!?” I saw Dash spin around to face me. She grimaced, and I looked away. “Take your date and buzz off, I don’t wanna talk to you.” We walked in anyway. “C'mon, go away!” "Well do you want us to come or go? You're contradicting yourself!" A nudge toward Dash and I was walking again. I reached the table where the Elements were all sitting and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a jerk to all of you two years ago. You were just trying to make me feel welcome, and with everything that was going on in my life at the time I lashed out at all of you. I came to Ponyville because I needed a friend, and instead I feel like a made an enemy. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but at least understand that I was going through Tartarus.” There was a long silence. It felt like forever, as lame as that sounds. “I forgive you,” Dash answered. One by one, her friends agreed. “Aww,” Pinkie moaned, apparently finding this whole thing touching, which I guess it kinda was. I still think she’s still annoying as all Tartarus though. Mark and I pulled some seats up to the table, and the Princesses lifted their table to be part of ours. “Thanks, Mark,” I whispered. Marked Target So we chatted for a while. I still can’t believe how personable the Princesses are, or Celestia at least. Luna just sat there, saying almost nothing. She was giving off a vibe that said "I really don't want to be here." “So, what’s your take on these superheroes running around?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I haven’t exactly had the best relationship with them.” “I don’t see it harming anypony, they’re just helping clean up the streets,” I answered honestly. “That’s really a job for the police,” Shining Armor responded. “I disagree,” Gilda, well, disagreed. “Well, the cops weren’t doing a good enough job on their own, and they’re damn good at what they do. Besides, they’re way better than the Royal Guard.” “I’m sorry, what was that?” Shining dared me to repeat myself or rescind my statement. “I said, the NYPD works smarter and harder to fight serious crime. Your Royal Guard, who haven’t seen any action besides the changeling invasion, are weak and flabby. Just because Canterlot and Ponyville are clean places doesn’t mean the rest of Equestria is. We have murder, arson, rape, robbery; all you have to worry about is somebody littering or disturbing the peace.” I stared him dead in the eyes. “You punk. You think it’s easy guarding the Princesses?” “Considering that they’re entirely capable of doing it on their own, yes. And I will not be called a punk by some pretty-colt who holds a ceremonial position because he has family in high places.” “I worked for this, you arrogant hack. You inherited your position.” “What’d you do, sign a few parking tickets and slap them on some noble’s carriage at the monumental risk of getting scolded? My father died trying to protect other board members.” “I lead the Royal Guard, what’ve you done besides take over a company because of a piece of paper?” “I’m military, you’re ceremonial law enforcement. I wear Multi-Terrain Pattern, you wear antique metal armor. I’ve been shot, you’ve had migraines from projecting a magical shield. The Royal Guard is babby-tier law enforcement.” “Both of you, stop this!” Princess Celestia ordered. “I will not pick sides in this debate between military and law enforcement. Both of you, apologize. Now.” You don’t disobey Princess Celestia. It just doesn’t happen. “Sorry, I assumed you’d slacked because you came from money. No hard feelings,” Shining offered. I sighed. “I made the same mistake, so I get it. I’m sorry too.” I pretended to mean it. “But in the case of masked vigilantes, I really doubt the situation is bad enough to necessitate them,” Princess Celestia noted. Gilda looked skeptical. “It’s escalation really. Cops increase patrols, criminals start carrying automatics. Cops buy bullet-proof vests, they buy armor-piercing ammo. It’s an arms race, and superheroes were the next logical step; the logical counter was supervillains.” “That makes a lot of sense, actually,” Shining Armor admitted. The gala went pretty well for the next hour, with everypony socializing on the floor. Ponies making cheers, laughing at stories; it was all going according to my deliciously non-evil and low-fat plan. A black mare ambled in, with a dozen thugs accompanying her. She fired a shotgun upwards, and everything went silent except for the music in the background. “Good evening, fillies and gentlecolts, we are tonight’s entertainment. I only have one question: where is Princess Celestia?” I got up from my seat and opened a panic room, motioning for the Princesses to get in while none of the thugs were looking. Inside that room, the alicorns would be able to observe what was going on. Plan B. Gilda Grimwing “Hey,” Marked Target whispered to me, Shining Armor and the Elements. “I’ve got a plan for this. I’ll slip out one of the side passages and call in the good guys and coordinate a response. Gilda, how much ammo you got?” “Ten, plus one in the chamber. I grew up in a rough part of Cloudsdale, I can hold ‘em.” He nodded. “Good. There’s a series of buttons behind the bar counter. Press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. Hit ‘Enter’ and you’ll get a mini-armory. My dad’s paranoia is about to pay off.” He disappeared into a hallway. Black Death walked towards us. “Pinkie, I missed you so much!” She cheered in that uneven, psychotic way of hers. “Who are you?” “Pinkie, I’m hurt! Don’t you recognize your sister? The one you were never there for after she was in a workplace accident!” “I-Inkie?” Her eyes shrunk in horror. It surprised me, but I felt bad for her. She turned to look at me and my spine froze solid. “You look familiar…” If she called me out as Hard Target’s killer… “Nooo, all griffons look the same to me. Ha!” “Why are you doing this?” Shining asked. "Holy shit, why don't you just ask the sky why it's fucking blue?" I hissed at him. “Well, it turns out that when you mix Changeling and pony DNA, it doesn’t kill you. It doesn’t just give you super-equine physical abilities. No, nononono. It opened my eyes. Do you know what our government has in common with changelings?” I could see the others struggle to come up with a response. I was trying to plan an offensive, but there was no opening. The VIP section was completely blocked off, and there was nothing I could use as decent cover. And I couldn’t reveal my powers in front of everybody. “Well, I’m not going to say everything. But we share too much for our own good. We live in hives, little drones doing our jobs. We are led by a very powerful female. We’re both parasites really, but they only consume natural endorphins.” “And what do we consume, if we’re parasites like you say?” Rarity demanded. “We consume everything! We find a nice spot, and we build a town. We take everything around that spot, we drain the nutrients from the soil, we plunder every mineral. We pollute the environment with our own waste and flatten the whole region just so we can build outwards! Every species forms a sort of equilibrium with their environment, adapts to it, but we adapt it to us!” If I flipped that table… “So here’s the question, who’s the bigger parasite? The one that leeches from the whole planet, or the one that leeches off them? It made me crazy, trying to figure it out! So, I stopped being crazy, and decided to make an answer! If I can tear down the greatest city on Equis, disrupt the hive’s order, I can make ponies the morally superior species!” It couldn’t be flipped, only a small part of it could. I discreetly motioned for the others to make a run for it as soon as there was an opening. I’d flip the smaller part of the table and use it as cover. I saw one of the Wonderbolts, Soarin I think, charge her. She dodged his lunge and hit him in the base of the skull with the butt of her shotgun. “You’ve got some fight in you, handsome. I like that.” Everyone was focused on her. So focused we didn’t see him until he was just a few yards behind her. “Then you’re gonna love me,” Blue Blaze said in a gravelly voice. Marked Target She’d just butted a friend of mine in the head with a shotgun. Shit was on like Unicon. “You’ve got some fight in you, handsome. I like that,” She mocked. “Then you’re gonna love me.” I threw a fireball at one of her thugs and headbutted her, sending her sliding across the polished marble floor. Gilda pushed over part of the table we’d sat at earlier and drew her pistol, while the Elements and Shining scattered. The thugs barricaded the doors, preventing any exits save through the windows. "Sorry. You're really not my type," She responded, as if nothing had happened. The goons started to swarm me, forming a circle, and began unloading their weapons into my body. The morons didn’t even have the sense to burst fire and save ammo; they just hipfired until they were all empty. I heard the thunder stop and the clicking of empty weapons. I stirred and their flattened slugs fell to the floor. “My turn.” I channeled my body heat into a pulse of heat, the small but intense pressure wave sending them flying against the walls. It was too easy. Of course, I didn’t even have to say that to jinx everything. I heard a scream, and saw that black mare holding Twilight Sparkle, and a Desert Eagle in her other hoof. I didn’t have a good shot for a fireball. Her back was against a large window too. “Let her go!” “A very poor choice of words,” She chuckled. She threw Twilight out the window, and I bolted out after her, diving towards the city streets hundreds of yards below. I felt the wind beat against my body and my cape as I closed the gap. About halfway down, I reached her. “Grab on!” I shouted, holding out my hooves. She did as I told her, and I turned my cape into a wing, slowing our descent drastically. As we neared the ground I rolled over to be on bottom and take the force of the impact, and she teleported out of my hooves. I hit the ground hard, leaving a yard-deep crater in the asphalt. My vision was spinning, and I shook my head to clear it. Twilight galloped over to me. I guess she’d just teleported to the ground, probably because teleportation spells are line-of-sight when they’re quick-casts. At least, that's my understanding. “Are you okay!?” She asked as I got to my hooves. I could hear sirens coming. “I’m fine. Get back up there and let your friends know you’re okay. I have to get out of here before the cops arrive.” “Wait before you go, what’s your name?” “B-blue Blaze.” Gilda Grimwing After that hero chased Twilight out the window, I flipped part of the table and started shooting. I put a few of the thugs down before I was half empty. They started firing back and I rushed to the bar, taking potshots as I went. I think I got one in the head. I slid behind the counter and entered the code Mark gave me. The liquor bottles all magnetized and shut themselves, and the whole cabinet went down into the floor. A new one filled with guns ascended from below. I grabbed a Mk 18 fitted with a CompM4 and a flashlight grip. I accidentally ejected the first round manually trying to make sure there was a round chambered, not something I usually did, and fired two-round bursts at the remaining thugs. The cockbites dropped like flies. I let the mag slide out automatically, which is a feature that makes AR-based guns faster to reload but less reliable, and grabbed a new one from the stash. I heard a battering ram knock down the doors, and SWAT stormed in. “FREEZE!” “GID AUN DE GRAU!! AUN DE GRAU NAUGH!” “Drop your weapon!” “It’s okay, she’s a good guy!” Mark called from behind them as he trotted out front and over to me. Twilight cantered in too, and hugged her friends. “So, I guess you saw some action?” I said. “Yep. KO'd a few thugs, no big deal,” He said with false confidence. He looked around at all the damage. “You do all this?” “Nah, some superhero.” “He said his name was ‘Blue Blaze’,” Twilight interjected. “Do you think that’s his real name?” "No, that's a stupid name." Gilda responded. A SWAT officer cantered over. “No. He saved my unit a couple weeks ago, and we looked the name up just in case. No matches in any database. Our vigilante unit is working on it, but there isn’t much effort on him. Commissioner’s got a hard-on for the Mysterious Mare Do Well, though.” He left right after he dropped that bit of info. I saw Dash’s eyes narrow, and her friends looked nervous. “You wanna tell me what that look’s about?” I asked. “I plead the Fifth! My Fifth Amendment right says that I can’t be made to bear witness against myself!” Pinkie shouted. “Fifth amendment to what?” A bemused Twilight asked. “The Constitution! I’m not talking until my lawyer gets here. I know my rights! I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. I have a right to an attorney, if I cannot afford one, one will be provided for me.” “Pinkie, I’m not a cop,” I said. “How do I know you’re not an undercover cop?” I could've proved it by punching her. Good thing I didn't. Anyway, that went on for a while. After we cleared out, Mark took us all to his tower, although the Princesses were escorted back to Canterlot. We got to hear the tale of the Mysterious Mare Do Well. Shining Armor, being the hypocritical douche he was, said that it was different when his sister did it, because she and her friends weren’t interfering in police business, just being humble citizens protecting Ponyville from accidents and using the costume as a shield from public adoration. Marked Target Well, I have to say the story behind the MMDW was interesting. And that Shining Armor is a hypocrite. Then again, if I had a younger sibling to be protective of, maybe I’d be like that too. Anyway, I got Twilight’s email and normal address, so maybe I can catch up with her sometime. Provided I don’t act like a complete idiot. I set them all up with a ride to their pickup area and sent them on their way. They got on their chariot and went back to Ponyville. If you ignore the break-in and attempted murder, it was a pretty sweet night. After I got Gilda a ride home, I would’ve hit the hay, but I just couldn’t. I needed to know who that mare was. I accessed the computer in my penthouse and brought Cue up on video chat. “Cue, you heard about what happened tonight?” “Yes. It would seem my teleporter functioned admirably, too.” “It did. Now, I need everything I can get my hooves on about this mare.” “Already done. Sending it to you now.” A dossier appeared on-screen. “Black Death, formerly known as Inkamena Pie.” “Are she and I-” “No, I’ve confirmed Pinkamena was your only relative in the Pie family. Her known abilities include enhanced strength, speed, endurance, healing abilities, and limited shape-shifting. She’s a violent anarchist, motivated by a desire to make ponykind morally purer than the changelings, from whom her powers came.” I spent all night scrounging information about her. One thing in particular jumped out at me. She was the only identified participant in the raid that killed my father. The other was an anonymous griffon female, presumed dead in line with Black Death's MO. The fact that a female griffon was found dead nearby just meant she would be even harder to trace, because it confirmed she'd stuck to her procedures.