//------------------------------//
// Meet the Prankster 
// Story: Meet the ponies (video transcript) 
// by gapaot 
//------------------------------//

[A lone golden chariot is flying over a desert road. Camera cuts to the dash, where a bobblehead of the princess Luna sits. A hoof comes from offscreen and flicks the head.]

Celestia: "Boom, straight to the Moon."

["Meet The Prankster" text appears. Cuts to the Celestia driving her chariot.]

Celestia: "Prankin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-"

[Cuts to a shot of the Celestia brushing her teeth. There are three photographs on the right of her mirror of a BLU Engineer, Octavia, and Berry Punch - the Engineer and Berry are crossed off, but Octavia is not.]

Celestia :"-'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two ponies left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone pranked."

[Scene cuts to view inside the Celestia's scope. Celestia's magic subtly sets Octavia's mane on fire; Berry Punch behind her notices, dumping her bottle of alcohol on gray mare's head and causing flames to flare up. Octavia screams and flails round, hitting Berry in head with her cello, trips and falls over a ledge into a cluster of explosive barrels, causing a chain reaction.]

Celestia: "Ooh."

[Cuts to the Celestia talking on a pay phone.]

Celestia: "Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- Not "Trollestia", dad, I'm prankster for hire! ...Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's internet meme!"

[Back to Celestia in the chariot.]

Celestia: "I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it."

[Cuts to Celestia climbing the tall tower in Goldrush Stage 3, Cap 1. The Celestia now is waiting at the top of the tower for a chance.]

Celestia: [Glances away from her scope briefly to address the viewer] "I think her mate saw me."

[A bullet ricochets off the ledge under the Celestia.]

Celestia: "Yes, yes she did!"

[Celestia takes cover as return fire ricochets off the tower.]

[Cuts to a time-lapse image of the Celestia looking into a scope. Several jars of urine fill up to her side, as Celestia rinks coffee and waits. As the sun starts to set, the Celestia smiles and her horn glowes.]

[Celestia backstabs a Spy through the chest with her horn on Goldrush Stage 3, then slides her off the horn with a satisfied expression.]

Celestia: "Feelins'? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?"

[Cut back to the chariot]

Celestia: "Mortals that make up clopfics and 'cupcakes' stuff. Professionals have standards."

[Celestia takes off her crown and puts it on her chest, standing over the dead Spy.]

Celestia: "Be polite."

[Celestia cake-shots a Medic, a Soldier, and a Pyro.]

Celestia: "Be efficient."

[Slow-motion shot of Celestia lighting her horn.]

Celestia: "Have a plan to prank everyone you meet."

[Celestia's spell fires directly at the camera. The screen blacks out.]

[ending flourish music plays.]

[Cut back to the pay phone.]

Celestia: "Dad.... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the phone!"