It was a sunny day in Ponyville. Not exactly much of a stretch seeing as how the weather was controlled manually, but it was still nice to have the sun on one's wings as they flew around town. Ditzy wasn't normally one to fly since the sight of her above their heads tended to make many of the townsfolk nervous, but today she was feeling the need to leave the ground behind and soar all over while she went on her daily rounds. She'd had a lot more time for delivering mail since the Doctor told her she could have a break from being his assistant a few weeks ago.
Speaking of the Doctor, she didn't actually know where he was at the moment. He'd gotten pretty lazy lately, what with the fact there hadn't been any "Doctor problems", as she'd started calling them, in quite a while. He'd stopped paying attention to where he left the TARDIS; often times even outright forgetting to be inconspicuous, making for some awkward conversations when she was the only one around to explain why there was a mysterious blue box in somepony's living room. Now he mostly just lounged around doing nothing but eating butter all day.
Ditzy glided down and landed softly outside Sugar Cube Corner, searching her mail bag to make sure nothing had fallen out, and then walking to the door and entering. As the door opened a bell above it chimed, alerting the older mare at the counter to her presence. As she turned, a big smile lit up her face as she recognized the grey pegasus that had just walked in.
"Oh, hello Ditzy! How is your day going?" Mrs. Cake said as she walked around the counter to greet the mail mare.
"Wonderful, thank you for asking, Mrs. Cake!" Ditzy said with a smile.
"What brings you around today?"
"Oh, right!" Ditzy leaned around and grabbed the envelope from her bag in her mouth, handing it over to Mrs. Cake. "Just this one for you today, Mrs. Cake. It doesn't look like it's going to be very busy for me today."
Mrs. Cake's smile turned into a smirk. "Oh, I see. More time to spend with that handsome young stallion I always see you with, huh?"
Ditzy reeled, a furious blush hitting her cheeks as she tried to stutter out an excuse. "W-what!? N-no! I-it's nothing l-like that! We're just friends! I'm not interested in the Doctor like tha-"
"Now now, you don't have to explain yourself. I understand completely. I was young once too you know." Mrs. Cake took the letter and put it on the counter, turning back to lead Ditzy to the door.
"Y-you d-don't understand! I-I'm just his assistant, w-we're not-"
"No no no, you don't need to explain yourself one bit, Ditzy Doo. Now you go, I'm sure he's just waiting to see you!" The older mare shoved Ditzy out the door, effectively stifling any objection she could try to think of.
Ditzy stared at Mrs. Cake, trying and failing to come up with a way to explain that she wasn't in a relationship with the Doctor. When she realized there was nothing she could say to convince the baker, she said a quick "Goodbye" and turned to fly away, only to find herself getting bowled over face first by someone in a hurry.
"Ugh…Ow, my head…Oh dear, I'm so sorry miss-Ditzy Doo?"
The grey mare didn't have to open her eye's to know who it was that ran into her, she'd recognize that accent anywhere. She felt him grab her fore hooves and haul her up to her feet, making sure she was steady before letting her go. As her eyes adjusted, she confirmed her suspicion as they focused on the face of the very same colt her and Mrs. Cake had just been talking about.
"Ditzy, I'm so glad to have run into you! Well, not glad I ran into you, per se, but I am glad I ran into you on a figurative basis. I wouldn't be glad I ran into you literally, since that might cause you physical harm, and I would never want to cause you physical harm. You are my assistant after all; if anything happened to you I don't know what I would do! I'd be completely lost without you at my side! Oh, hello there Mrs. Cake! And how are you doing this fine day?" As usual, the Doctor was rambling, a large smile plastered on his face as he spoke a mile a minute. He waved to the baker, who was still standing in the doorway, much to Ditzy's horror, that same knowing smirk still on her face.
"Hello, Doctor, I'm doing just fine today! How is yours going?"
"Even better now that I've found Ditzy!"
Ditzy was sure if it was possible to blush any harder it would mean death, which was looking more and more appealing as the ever-oblivious Doctor continued to feed the flame that was her embarrassment.
"So, I take it you have some fun activities planned for you and Ditzy?"
"Oh, yes! In fact, that's why I was looking for her! I just discovered something interesting and I need her with me immediately!"
"Well, don't let me hold you two back! Go on, go on. Enjoy yourselves!" Mrs. Cake offered one last smirk and a sly wink to Ditzy before going back into the store, leaving her and the Doctor standing alone in the street.
Ditzy swallowed, still trying to hide her embarrassment. "So...you…need me with you for something?"
"Hmm? Oh, right! Well you see, I've been noticing a few anomalies in Ponyville, specifically one's dealing with fluxuations in the makeup of space in the area, creating a few minor inconsistencies to the flow of time and altering possible-"
"Doctor? Remember when you told me that the reason I can understand aliens is because the TARDIS automatically translates the language into one I can understand?"
"Um, yes?"
"Is there any way you can make it so I can understand you?"
"Well, I suppose if I did a little reprogramming I could fix the translation software but I don't see how that would help seeing as how I'm not speaking a different-Hold on, are you mocking me?"
Ditzy rolled her eyes. "Could you just get on with what's so important Doctor?"
"Oh, right. Well, you see, I've been noticing a few anomalies in Ponyville-"
"Doctor!"
"Alright! The TARDIS has been picking up signals of something opening and closing holes in the fabric of space. It only seems to be centered in Ponyville, which means there someone here who is doing it."
"But then what's the problem? If they're closing the holes after they open them then why does it matter?"
"Well, say you dig a hole in the ground and then fill it in again, there's going to be a bit of a mound several inches higher than it was originally, as well as being able to support less weight, because the dirt is significantly less compact then it was before you dug it up. Not a very good place to build a house, one would think. That same property applies to space. Every time you open a hole in space, you must give it time to settle and return to normal. If you just keep opening and closing holes all willy-nilly, the fabric of reality begins to weaken, and although it's not a big deal now, if this continues much longer the integrity of space in the area will grow so weak it will collapse! Isn't that great?"
Ditzy stared at the Doctor with a confused expression. "Uh, how exactly is that…great, Doctor?"
The Doctor wrapped a hoof around his assistant's shoulder, hugging her close to his side and exclaiming "Don't you see!? This means we finally have something to do! It's been months since our last adventure together, it's about time something happened that requires immediate attention from the Doctor and his assistant!" The Doctor finished his rant with a triumphant look on his face, Ditzy awkwardly hanging from his side where he still held her to him. She heard someone clear there throat nearby, and looked over to see Mrs. Cake's head sticking out the door to Sugar Cube Corner, once again smirking at her. Ditzy groaned, letting her head fall limply.
"Ditzy, are you alright? Ditzy?"
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"So, Doctor, what do you think is making these holes, anyway?"
The Doctor scrunched his face in thought before responding. "Well, there are many creatures that I can think of that could cause spacial rifts like these, as well as different kinds of technology, the TARDIS being one of them, but there's too many to make an accurate guess at the moment. We'll need to do a little investigating to see if we can narrow it down."
They were on their way to the TARDIS, the Doctor of course wanting to get to work as fast as possible. Unfortunately, Ditzy still had a few deliveries to make and she couldn't just drop what she was doing to help the Doctor, so he had volunteered to help her with deliveries while they figured things out on the way.
"Where should we start then?"
"I imagine we need to ask around to find out if anyone has seen anything out of the ordinary-" The Doctor froze, every muscle in his body going completely rigid, his eyes shrinking to pinpricks.
"….Doctor? Doctor, what happened?" Ditzy waved a hoof in front of his face, eliciting no reaction whatsoever. "Doctor are you ok-Eeep!" Suddenly the Doctor grabbed her and dragged her into the nearest alley, holding her against the wall and clamping a hoof over her mouth. "Mmph, mufmr wrt fr hr mrfmr?"
"Ssssh!"
She waited for something to happen, a Dalek or some rogue alien attempting world domination rampaging through Ponyville. When she heard nothing of the sort, she shot a questioning glance at the Doctor. He let her go and nodded his head towards the entrance to the alley. Ditzy slowly made her way to it and peered around the corner out to the street. After a few moments she turned back to the Doctor and asked the obvious.
"Doctor, what am I supposed to be looking at exactly?"
He came over and joined her, looking around the corner and seeing whatever it was that had him so freaked out, and then flattening himself against the wall again. Ditzy stared at him for a little longer with an odd expression before finally asking "Doctor, what am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Her!" He pointed around the corner and then quickly returned to his hiding place.
Ditzy looked where he had pointed and realized why he was acting so weird. "I should have known it was just the Doctor being the Doctor…" She mumbled quietly.
A familiar purple unicorn was walking down the street, a heavy book levitating in front of her face so she could perform her favorite past time: reading while walking. Of course the reason for the Doctor's odd behavior was because of the local librarian he had a weird obsession with.
"As long as we stay in here she shouldn't be able to see us. Just stay quiet and she'll walk by and we can go on our merry way without her being any the wiser-"
"Oh, hi there Ditzy Doo! Do you have any mail for me today?"
"Yep, got it right here for you, Twilight!"
"Ditzy!"
"My new index cards! I've been waiting for these for ages! Thank you Ditzy!"
"You're welcome!"
"So, who's your friend there?" Twilight asked while craning her head over to look at the Doctor trying in vain to become one with the bricks.
"Oh, yeah! Doctor, don't be rude! This is Twilight Sparkle." The purple mare gave him a warm smile and a wave. The Doctor returned it by uttering an unintelligible sound and sinking to his haunches. Ditzy laughed awkwardly, saying "Give me just one second" before running over to the Doctor and hauling him to his feet.
"Doctor, quit being silly! Introduce yourself!" She hissed.
"I can't! She's just so…unicorn! And did you see the way she was making that book float? It was like magic!" He waved his arms around in random circles to emphasize his point.
"I don't care Doctor! Now get over there and introduce yourself before she thinks you're some weird pony!" With that Ditzy shoved the Doctor over to the increasingly confused Twilight, the librarian patiently waiting for whatever intelligent response the colt could come up with. A response that never came as the Doctor opened his mouth and immediately fainted.
The two mares stared at the unconscious stallion for a few moments, and then looked at each other.
"So…he seems…nice."
Ditzy rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah, that's the Doctor for you."
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The Doctor didn't quite know where he was, but what he did know was that he was content. It was like he was floating in a sea of random colors, and he wasn't sure which one he should focus on. 'I need to get more sleep on a regular basis' he thought.
"Doctor."
A honey sweet voice reached the Doctor's ears, making him roll over in his sleep.
"Oh Doctor."
"Mmm." That time the voice sounded less honey sweet and more annoyed.
"Doctor, if you don't get up in the next five seconds I am going to do something you're not going to like."
How could he not like anything this mystery person could do? If he was this content now what could they possibly do to make him not-
"Waaah!"
Suddenly he found himself face first on the floor, now fully awake and completely aware of what had happened.
"Ditzy, was that completely necessary? I would think a simple 'Wake up Doctor' would have worked just as well. I mean really, flipping me over in my sleep? That's low, even for you-Wait a minute…" The Doctor looked at his surroundings, noticing a complete lack of other-world technology, metal beams and such. "This isn't the TARDIS."
"What's a TARDIS?"
The Doctor whipped around to come face to face with the same unicorn that caused him to faint in the first place. He froze once again, losing all major brain function and reverting back to the unintelligible noises he had made before.
"You're not going to faint again, are you?"
The Doctor shook his head, ridding himself of the darkness that had already begun to invade the edges of his vision.
"Wow Doctor, you'd think having two hearts would make you less lightheaded." Ditzy said sarcastically.
"You have two hearts?" Twilight asked, confusion written all over her face.
"Of course not, who has two hearts! Ditzy is just being…Um…."
"Being…What, Doctor? Ditzy is just being what?" The gray Pegasus said with a deadly glint in her eyes and venom in her voice.
"Uuuh….Oh look, a tie!"
The doctor ran over to a rack that was indeed full of a myriad of ties, pretending to be interested in rifling through them.
"Oh, so you like ties, do you? You must have an eye for fashion, darling."
They all looked over to see a white mare with a rich, deep purple mane that was obviously meticulously groomed day after day. Of course the Doctor could care less about her beauty, since all he was focused on was the horn on her head.
"Another unicorn? Oh, this day just keeps getting better and better!"
Ditzy stepped forward. "Doctor, this is Rarity. She's Twilight's friend. She was on her way over to Rarity's boutique to help her with some things before she ran into us and had to help me drag you here so no one would wonder why you were lying in the street." Her tone become one of exasperation at the end as she gave the Doctor a dull look.
A look that went unnoticed by the colt as he was currently drooling at the sight of the two unicorn mares.
"So, 'Doctor' is it? You seem like a stallion of good taste. Love your tie by the way, but green just isn't your color. Maybe blue, that way it would match your eyes." Rarity batted her eyelashes, turning back to Twilight and flicking her tail into the Doctor's face before walking to her friend and starting work on a dress. Ditzy didn't know if Timelords could melt or not, but it didn't seem to matter to the Doctor as he was currently nothing but a puddle on the floor of the boutique. So she elbowed him in the ribs.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You know what it was for! Now come on, I think we've stayed long enough, let's just head over to the you-know-what and get started on this 'Doctor problem' of yours-"
"Oh Doctor, would you be a dear and hand me that fabric on the table over there?"
"Right away Miss Rarity!"
Ditzy rolled her eyes as the Doctor sprinted over to the table and grabbed the fabric, sprinting back and handing it to the fashonista.
Rarity smiled when he came over. "What a gentleman."
The Doctor sighed. Ditzy facepalmed.
"Alright Doctor, let's go now! Thank you for helping me with the Doctor, Twilight. Sorry we can't stay longer but we have stuff to do." Ditzy grabbed the gushing Timelord and began dragging him to the door.
"Alright Ditzy, see you later!" She turned to continue help with the project Rarity was working on. "So, Rarity, did you hear about what happened to Berry Punch? Isn't that just awful?" Twilight asked when the two had resumed working on the dress.
"Oh I know, the nerve of somepony to be so insensitive as to steal somepony else's entire stock of jelly!"
The Doctor's ears perked up at that, planting his hooves and forcing Ditzy to a stop just in front of the door.
"Doctor-"
"Sssh!"
Ditzy stopped and listened along with the Doctor.
"It's very strange though, I heard the door was locked and that there wasn't any sign that somepony had found some way to unlock it or even that they had opened it all! They think it might have been some sort of teleportation spell but there wasn't any sort of magical residue left over. It was like it just disappeared."
"Well Twilight, that's because it was well planned out. Everypony knows that the ones who resort to thievery spend more time planning crimes than actually learning to contribute to society."
"Yes Rarity, if only everypony could become a fashion designer in a town inhabited mostly by ponies who don't wear clothes."
"Exactly."
The Doctor walked over to the two unicorns, wearing the same suspicious look that Ditzy had on.
"Excuse me, but what was that about jelly being stolen?"
Twilight turned to him. "Yes, it happened just a few days ago actually. Berry kept all her jelly in her cellar, and one day she went down there and found that every last bit of it was gone! Nopony knows how they did it; they don't even have any suspects."
The Doctor rubbed his chin with a hoof. "And you said there was no magical residue? Would there be any way of hiding it if they had used magic?"
Twilight thought a moment. "Not likely. It would just dissipate after a few days, but Berry Punch said that she had just been in there the day before so it couldn't have been enough time for it to be undetectable."
"And where does this 'Berry Punch' live, exactly?"
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The Doctor took one last lap around the cellar, his sonic screwdriver making its usual sound as he passed it back and forth through the air. Berry Punch stood at the foot of the stairs with Ditzy, a worried look on her face.
"So then, Mister….I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?"
"The Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
The Doctor smirked. "Just the Doctor, thank you."
Berry nodded. "Ok…Doctor. What are you looking for?"
"Anything out of the ordinary." As he said this his screwdriver beeped. "Aha! Just as I thought! There was no residual presence of magic because whoever robbed you didn't use magic!"
Berry looked at him, obviously very confused. "If they didn't use magic then how did they-"
"Well then, I'm sorry to have used up your precious time. I have everything I need here; I'll get back to you as soon as I have more. Have a nice day! Come along Ditzy!" He marched past her with a smile, Ditzy close behind.
The pair left the house and started off in the direction the Doctor left the TARDIS last, which happened to be at Sweet Apple Acres.
"So Doctor, what did you mean when you said 'they didn't use magic' to break into Berry's cellar?"
"I mean that they didn't use magic. Honestly Ditzy, I'd think even you could get that. Oof!" He rubbed his now bruised ribs tenderly. "They didn't use magic because they didn't need to. Whoever stole the jelly probably wasn't even from this planet."
Ditzy gasped. "You mean an alien?"
"It's possible. There's no way someone from this planet could have the technology required to open a hole in space leading into a cellar."
"You mean...whoever the thief is…is the same one that's been causing all the weird readings you've been getting in the TARDIS? How can you tell?"
The Doctor held his sonic screwdriver up for her to see. "There may not have been any magical residue, but my screwdriver did find evidence of a dimensional rift that had recently been closed." The Doctor tucked his screwdriver away under his tie, once again smiling. "Ditzy, I do believe things are beginning to come together. What fun this is turning out to be!" He checked his pocket, frowned, and then checked again. "Uh oh, I think I dropped my TARDIS key in Berry Punch's cellar."
"Well that's okay Doctor, you can just use the one you gave me."
"Yes I could, but that would mean leaving mine behind. Not a good idea to leave a key behind when the lock it opens leads into a time traveling police public call box. You go on ahead, I'll be there shortly."
"Alright Doctor." Ditzy walked away, as the Doctor turned around to look for his key. When he did so, something small and shiny caught his eye at his feet. He picked it up, realizing it was the missing key.
"Oh, there you are! You must have fallen out when I started looking for you! You naughty little thing you!" He put it back in his pocket and began heading after Ditzy. "Never mind Ditzy Doo, I found my-mmph!" Before he could finish, someone behind him threw a bag over his head, muffling his cry of alarm. His unknown assailant then began dragging him away.
The Doctor's cries for help went completely unheard by the blonde-headed pegasus mare as she hummed a tune while on her way to Sweet Apple Acres.