Bounce, bounce, catch. Bounce, bounce, catch. Bounce, bounce, catch. Exactly how was this thing moving like this? It's a little orb of completely smooth texture and dark blue in colour. It yields slightly when I try and squish it but is otherwise firm. I throw it at the floor and it bounces off to hit the wall and comes soaring back to me. The butler had said it was a super bouncy ball and I have to admit. The name is appropriate.
According to Luna my sizes are already listed down. The hospital had measured me while I was unconscious. Rather creepy to think about actually. ...How does this thing keep bouncing like that? What is it made of? I didn't expect the servant to bring anything so fascinating when I asked for something simple and distracting. The distraction was meant for him as I hid my phylactery. I also disturbed the whole room in a small way to hide the hiding place. As to where it is hidden... well I'll say there are now wood shavings under the carpet and leave it there.
Actually I should clear the wood shavings out of here, it may give things away. Also on a completely unrelated topic even broken a unicorns horn can carve into oak. Fascinating really. I bounce the ball again thinking how to get rid off the wood shavings when the door opens and Luna walks in. She's carrying a bundle and the ball stops in mid air just out of my reach.
“So mother. Is it time to frighten the wolves with my horrible face?” I ask her with a grin. She's stunned that I've called her mother. Or the self depreciation. Either one.
“More like... you're soon to charm them with your angelic voice.” she tells me and I roll my partially formed eyes behind the headband and patches.
“They're liable to have a heart attack with what that angelic voice is saying.” I remark as caustically as I can and she chuckles.
“True enough, which will make today all sorts of fun.” she says and I'm taken aback.
“Wait... you want me to provoke the nobles?” I ask and she nods. “Alright after I get something to eat and a trip to the bathroom we can start on lowering the parasite levels.” I tell her eagerly.
“Low opinion of nobles?” Luna asks.
“Who do you think kept trying to bag 'The Most Dangerous Game'?” I ask her and she looks shocked. “Granted the little twits were no better than anyone else, they just had bodyguards and spawned the attacks of entire armies when I dealt with them.” I say remembering the idiot ponces who posed around as everyone else did the work.
“This day may be quite amusing then. Simply put we have three appointment scheduled and a meeting relating to taxes. I want you in sight at all times during this.” She says and I cannot stop myself.
“Even when using the toilet?” I ask and mentally kick myself for the completely crass and obvious line.
“I think I'll let you go then.” She assures me and I have to chuckle a little. Still I have to plan a way to deal with the nobles... if the death sentence isn't used then I must assume that physically attacking them will be frowned upon.
“Alright, what do I want? What do I have? And how can I use what I have to get what I want?” I ask myself and Luna gives me a look. Well she's already privy to some of my thoughts lets see if she can handle the whole process. “Alright I want to survive so for that I have to avoid making enemies...”
“A fair start. Do you mind if I listen in?” Luna asks and I shake my head as I grin a little.
“I also want to make my general disdain of nobility known so that they avoid me, and to amuse myself as well...” I muse and I ignore Luna's snickering. “What I have is a great deal more experience in a variety of fields in both practical and theoretical standpoints then I appear to. I also look like a very small crippled child and apparently I have a very innocent sounding voice.” I continue and Luna's looking anxious. I think I have a good idea.
“So pointing out all the mistakes they make and casually insult them while pouring on the innocence will satisfy all my goals nicely.” I ask mostly myself with a grin. Something is levitated onto my head and I glance at Luna. “The circlet I take it?” I ask Luna turning to her and I actually catch my reflection in her eyes. It's a simple piece of silver with a black gemstone. Have I been getting paranoid?
Probably not, I have been justified practically every time. Luna quickly puts a dark blue cloak and a silver pendant on me. An eyebrow goes up. “I take it we're having lunch on the way there...” I remark and Luna smiles for a moment. Then the door opens and and a small table wheels it's way in loaded with a pair of plates and bowls with a jug of a pale yellow fluid and two glasses. Luna's magic is wrapped around the handle. She's clearly been waiting for me to act. “I will figure you out sooner or later.” I state simply and she smiles at me. “So what's the menu now?”
“Fruit sandwiches and flower salads with lemonade. Clean your plate and you get a Cinnamon Roll.” she says and my eyebrows go up. Flower salads? Well... we are horse like I guess... I try a bite of the salad and it's surprisingly good. It makes some sense. Different nose and different tongue means different taste. It's like a vegetable but it's more sweet and has a very delicate texture and an almost rough one at the same time. The different parts of the flower I should guess.
“I must admit, regular meals are quite a novelty.” I state and Luna just grins.
“Now, some ground rules before I have you in the throne room.” Luna begins. “No threatening to kill nobles or hinting that you were anything but an Alicorn in this life.” she says and I snort.
“If we're going to split hairs I died and was reborn an Alicorn. Chronologically I may be getting close to two hundred, but physically the body I was in before this one was barely eight years old. I've been both older and younger than I look for a very long time.” I say before holding back some chuckles. The curse I put on the village of Crossed Rivers was such a good idea. Too bad everyone got wise to it after one time.
“What's so funny?” Luna asks and I decide to just tell her.
“I was being closely chased and I had gotten my hands on a mass transformation spell scroll. I didn't have time to memorize it but I could activate it, so I turned every male in a trading town into my exact double. One change of clothes later and I could get lost in a crowd. They questioned everyone under truth wards. It wasn't as strong as the one that was put up yesterday so I was able to... hold back bits of information and got away clean. As far as they're concerned I was a poor ten year old orphan with no home. I even got a cookie and a hug.” I tell her before chuckling out loud this time.
“I thought you're adverse to hugs?” Luna asks and I roll what little in the way of eyes I have.
I snort at that. “That time it was more a case as getting away with an amazing deception. Think about it. I had the sheer audacity to transform a town that was almost a small city. I had an army of over twenty thousand after me and their answer was to blockade it and question every one of my doubles hoping to find me. I could have just killed half the army and got away before the other half realized what happened. Instead I stayed in town and pretended to be a victim. I lied through a truth ward, and I was rewarded by my interrogators for it. That's a good day.” I tell her with a huge smile and she laughs herself.
“Did they ever... you know figure it out?” She asks and I chuckle again.
“About three weeks later when the spell wore off and I was nowhere to be found. The whole world thinks that I never even stopped in the village. That it was nothing but an enormous distraction. The joke was on them.” I remark with a grin as I lean away and roll my shoulders.
“How often did you do something so grandiose?” She asks me and I can't help but cackle. It's a strange thing to hear from such a young voice.
“Whenever I needed to. Sometimes you have to just put everything into what you're doing.” I say with a grin. “Sometimes you have to tear down the castle, sink the ship or just drop a mountain on some idiot.”
“Or sometimes you have to stop the sun from rising.” Luna adds and I nod.
“True enough. Although I never went that far.” I remark as I remember that despite her coddling that yes. This is a goddess. It's rather humbling... “Anyways I'm sure the buffoons will throw a fit if we waste one moment of their pwecious time.”
“Quite right. Let's get on to it.” Luna says standing up from the chair and wheeling the the table out of the room. I climb down from the bed and follow. It's good to get the lay of the castle. I feel something at a distance again. Maybe another wendigo... or another murder! Oh I hope it's a murder that will give me something to do!
“Well aren't we excited?” Luna asks with a smile.
“Yep! There's a disconnected soul nearby. Meaning ghost or wendigo... or shadow, or spectre, or poltergeist, or banshee, or...” I begin listing of excitedly before Luna stops me.
“We'll look into it later. Now we have an appointment to keep.” she says and we continue on our way before she stops. “Stand close, I'm going to cheat.” she says and I walk up until I'm leaning against her left foreleg. There is a swelling of energy around us and were in a large room with numerous guards starting to relax.
“So do I get the big chair?” I ask noticing the throne and she chuckles at me.
“No you get the down and felt cushion.” Luna says gently as I glance around the room. Aside from the soft pink colour scheme and the fact that everyone here is a horse of some type it's a basic throne room. Although I do like the stained glass windows, those are more common to temples but... well goddess rulers I guess the palace is the temple as well. As Luna sits in the throne the colour scheme completely changes. Pink is swapped out for pale blue and the red and white carpet becomes blue and black.
Interestingly though there are now two light pink banners flanking the throne. They were blue a moment ago so I guess they're meant to symbolize the other sister. The sun designs on the windows turn into moons effectively swapping this room from the court of day to the court of night. I have no words.
“Wow.” Alright so I do have words. Let's keep them small so I stick to the plan.
“Yes it is quite lovely isn't it?” Luna asks and I nod and she simply levitates me onto a black velvet cushion twice my size. It has a white trimming and... I like it. I'm enjoying myself and I'm in a throne room... something's about to go wrong. I know it.
“Your first appointment Princess. Baron Red-Streak bearing a complaint against Baron Crimson-Stripe for image copyright infringement.” The same guy from the library said and I realized I don't know his name... still... what's a copyright? The doors opened and two identical dark red pegasi with light red manes walked in. They were both wearing little front suits and ties one with a bow tie and the other one a straight tie but still...
“Uhm... who's who?” I ask uncertainly and they both look at me in shock as if noticing me for the first time. Then they look affronted. Have I made an enemy already?
“This cur is impersonating me!” the left one declares pointing to his left.
“Why I Never! I am a full thirty minutes older you buffoon! It is you who has copied me!” the right one declares pointing to the right. I already hate them both and want to see them suffer. They then begin to glare at each other literally butting heads and snorting.
“They're identical twins who's parents separated and each one took a different foal. The houses of each parent are now nearly at war with each other.” Luna explains to me quietly so the two arguing don't hear her.
“That's really stupid. Just... mythical level stupid... Can I toy with them?” I ask at the same level and Luna blinks.
“How?” she asks grinning a little as the guards start walking forwards to break the two apart.
“Mistaking one for the other, saying 'I see' to everything and being deliberately confusing.” I tell her and she grins.
“If you can tell them apart go for it. These two have been up to this for three years every two weeks.” Luna says before pulling back in time for the two to turn back to her.
“Uhm... Mister Red?” I ask out loud now that there's a little silence.
“Yes?” The one with the bow-tie asks.
“Sorry, I thought you were Crimson.” I tell him.
“You see! He's copying me!” the one with the straight tie half shouts. “Taking my identity in front of a Princess even! The nerve!”
“But I thought you were Red so weren't you both doing it?” I ask and they both start sputtering in indignation. They both continue for longer than I expect so I stand up on my hindlegs and brace myself against Luna's throne. “Mom did someone put a mirror and a crazy pony in the throne room?” I ask pulling myself up and peering over the armrest. I'm sure I look completely harmless.
“I'm afraid not dear.” Luna says and I know they're listening in.
“But it's so silly!” I protest. I'd rather say stupid, but I have an image to craft.
“Exactly who is this brat?” They demand in perfect unison and the echo effect is all sorts of entertaining. I have to keep these two talking.
“The brat as you call him is my son. Prince Charon.” Luna says plainly and without emotion. Hunh... so red horses fade to pink when pale? Interesting. “Have either of you brought any new written and substantial evidence to this case?” she asks and they both shake their heads. “Then you are wasting my time. Dismissed.” she says and they scamper out of the Throne room in near perfect sync.
“We have to do this again.” I note out loud and Luna giggles.
“Perhaps. Although let me assure you, it's those two and a few others which made me look into Public Executions, and seeing if we can bring them back.” Luna remarks and I chuckle as I drop down to my cushion again. If this is the way a day at court works I'm happy to be here.
“Since we're ahead of schedule shall I have the next appointment sent in?” The servant asked and Luna smiled.
“Certainly Record. What's next?” Luna asks and Record... Something or Something Record nods.
“A Countess Lily-Fair is here to request modifications to the trader and performer permits.” Record states and Luna sighs.
“Is there a copy of her previous request?” Luna asks and a bundle of papers are held up to her.
“Can I see?” I ask and the stack is lowered to my level. Hmm... good calligraphy, and with very large and needlessly complicated words. From what I can gather it's her wanting to up the price and have the increase go into her own coffers. I hear the doors open and a light grey unicorn in a white gown with pale blond hair walks in. She has a gold and diamond ring around the base of her horn.
“Your Majesty! Good afternoon we simply don't see each other enough darling!” Lily-Fair announces walking up to the throne. She's using her magic to carry a clipboard. I glance up at Luna and she looks a little uncomfortable... I think. Hmm... time for both entertainment and endearment.
“Why would you want to just see more of somepony?” I ask watching to say somepony rather than someone. “I mean wouldn't talking to them or spending time with them mean more?” I ask trying and succeeding at sounding legitimately confused.
“It's an expression darling. By the by... who are you?” Lily-Fair asks gently the very picture of manners.
“Who's who?” I ask quickly.
“Who are you?” She repeats keeping her patience.
“Well who are you?” I ask in return and she looks taken aback. There we go, weakness.
“I am Countess Lily-Fair. May I ask whom you are?” she says and Luna speaks up. Unfortunately she's interrupting my attempt to throw the countess off.
“My son, Prince Charon.” Luna says simply. So there goes wordplay. So.. innocently insulting?
“Can I see what she brought?” I ask and Lily-Fair nods and the clipboard floats over to me before dropping in front of me. “Sorry my horn's broken...” I say and she looks very uncomfortable as I get up and grab the clipboard. I quickly look over it and then chuckle.
“What's so funny?” Lily-Fair asks and I smile.
“You're asking for the same thing both times. I have the forms from the other time here and they ask for the same thing. You just use different words and ask at different times.” I say sounding confused. “Why do you need so much money, are you going poor or something?” I ask.
“Well no but there are several expensive projects which simply must be done!” she says and my eyebrows go up.
“What projects exactly Countess?” Luna asks.
“Remodelling jobs mostly... several facilities are... behind the times.” Lily-Fair says and I have to fight down a grin. I see where this is going. She's emptied her pockets paying for pointless things and is trying to get more. I doubt I can get her to confess, but I can give her more rope to hang herself with.
“Did a hospital break down or something?” I ask sounding panicked and Luna looks sharply at Lily-Fair. The whole game is now in her court.
“Well not a hospital per say darling...” Lily-Fair says and I do what I scratch the side of my head as if confused.
“An orphanage then?” I ask and she looks awkward. I think I got her.
“Is this for something frivolous Countess?” Luna asks and Lily-Fair doesn't answer. She looks away shame-faced. I guilted her? I was trying to make an idiot out of her... “If that is the limit and purpose of your proposals then you are excused.”
“I apologize for wasting your time your majesties...” she says and walks out looking like she took a beating. The door closes with a a loud thud.
“I think I missed something. I was trying to make her look stupid, not feel guilty.” I tell Luna and she laughs shortly.
“Well sometimes things just end up differently than expected.” Luna tells me and I nod. It's a fair enough point. “What's next on the list?” Luna asks Record who coughs awkwardly.
“A free hour ma'am. Both the Identity and the Taxation affairs were thought to take longer. Your son playing verbal interceptor cut the time down substantially.” He says sounding half annoyed half amused.
“Sorry?” I state unsure as to whether I should be apologizing or not.
“Nothing to worry about dear colt. Just a touch of rescheduling on my part.” he says genially. “Now there's some free time available, would either of you care for some reading material?”
“Something from Rosemary-Rainbow.” Luna says and I spot a guard roll his eyes. At fifty metres no less, pony eyes are huge.
“Anything for yourself Prince?” Record asks.
“Uhm... is there a big book on myths and legends?” I ask and he nods.
“Of course. I'll fetch the latest edition of Predictions and Prophesies.” he says and leaves quickly but quietly.
“You seem to have a talent for politics, it's rare to cut through so much time.” Luna remarks and one of my eyebrows goes up.
“Talent? I'm trying to make them look like idiots and they back off! If I didn't know any better I'd swear they've literally lost their spines!” I protest and Luna laughs hard. Even some guards are fighting down chuckles.
“It was one of Celestia's masterstrokes. The local nobility used to be as friendly as a den of wolves. Literal murder in the courts and they had wrangled the law to such a point that questioning them was high treason.” Luna explains and I nod. It's normally like that back in Tir'Aewgin. “She got rather sick of it and decided to... clean the house.” Luna states and I snort in amusement.
“Angering a physically present deity... that's just asking for it.” I note casually. I suddenly have a book in front of me. “That was fast. Thank you.” I tell Record and he nods as Luna picks up a small but thick book made entirely of paper. The one I have is a large tome with what looks like a varnished wooden cover. I open the book and browse the index, the Mare in the Moon? Does that have anything to do with Luna?
Oh, oh wow. I guess Luna's been lying to me, or she doesn't know about my more... brutal moments in the past. Let's see... wait... would eternal night kill the plants? There's something here about a demonic spirit... Does that mean... Is Luna guilting herself for what she might have done when something else was controlling her? If this is her time as a 'brutal monster' then I'm definitely the greater of two evils.
“Mom... uhm...” I start to ask but trail off not knowing how to confront her with this information.
“Yes, what is... it...” Luna asks and trails off herself when she leans over and sees what I was reading.
“Is this it? Is this what you've been feeling guilty about?” I ask and she nods. “But... this doesn't compare to a being that's slaughtered thousands...” I say in an almost whisper so only she can hear.
“I know... it... it was horrible. If you'd rather leave then I.. I'll understand.” Luna says and I'm shocked. She took it completely the wrong way.
“Flip it for pities sake!” I say sternly still keeping my voice down. “You did nothing! You were possessed and even then... even then maybe twenty living beings were injured by your actions. Compared to...” I say starting to rant before catching myself. If anyone does overhear this I better cover my tracks. “...the necromancer you've done no harm!”
Luna quickly looks to the right as if thinking before a look of realization comes to her. “The necromancer only ever fought in self defence. He only ever took a life to protect his own. I nearly destroyed this world for my greed. For my selfishness...” she says looking so dejected as to be pitiful. God or not, this is annoying.
I stand up on my rear legs, grab her face and pull her close. “You cannot now or ever blame yourself for what happens when you are possessed. I've run into spirits of all types and the unfailing rule is that if the spirit enters your body and takes control. Whatever happens next. You. Are. Not. At. Fault. Get it?” I dictate to Luna and she looks shocked.
“Why don't you save your loathing for things that are actually horrible?” I ask her rhetorically as I let her go and drop down. She's still stunned.
“It doesn't bother you?” Luna asks with a slight squeak in her voice. I suppose frustration and indifference is not a reaction she's gotten from this stunt yet. Actually I'm not sure what I feel... confused mostly. How can a goddess be so ignorant?
“Should it? You failed to do something in the past that might have been disastrous... so what?” I ask honestly and Luna looks shocked again. Then she picks me up and cuddles me closely. “What did I do?!”
“Proved me right. Among other things.” Luna tells me gentle and kisses me just below the horn. I swear someone's going to wear the fur off there sooner or later at this rate. She holds me close and a warmth enters me. Weird. She puts me down right between her forelegs and looks shockingly content.
“Princess, I hate to break up a tender moment but the next appointment has arrived. A Baron Golden-Rod here about...” Record explains but Luna looks furious the moment the name Golden-Rod is mentioned.
“Is he here about the griffons hunting again?” Luna asks and Record nods. “Tell him that griffons as omnivores have meat as a substantial part of their diet and so long as it's only wild game that is being hunted he has no grounds to restrict it.” Luna says sternly. Is there more to this?
“What's going on?” I ask confused to this.
“Baron Golden-Rod's land is at the edge of the griffon empire. He has a large percentage of griffon citizens and finds eating meat to be disturbing. If he has his way we could very well insult the griffon people and the situation is tense enough already.” Luna tells me and I nod. It makes sense. She's willing to put up with harmless idiots but when someone does something dangerous and stupid. That's where she draws the line. A good trait in a leader... or a bad one for letting this stupidity go on... now I'm not sure.
“Well than with him out of the way we have something unexpected.” Record states and both me and Luna look towards him expectantly. “Prince Blueblood has requested an audience with Prince Charon. To thank him for services rendered.”
“Oh! My that is unexpected... send him in.” Luna says and the doors open and just as a pony that looks amazingly like Justicar can walk in another one this one yellow with a black mane storms in. He looks furious, it's probably Golden-Rod.
“Princess Luna! This is an outrage! How can you condone the killing and devouring of living things within equestrian boarders?” Golden-Rod demands and Luna looks offended by him. I carefully slink away so I'm not between the princess and the idiot. When standing between a madman and a cliff, step out of the way and let one deal with the other.
“Excuse me Baron, but I believe the summons was for me.” The Justicar look alike says and the glare that Golden gives him is both withering and ineffectual. “I have endured the ravages of a changeling feeding and misleading me for the majority of my life. Do you honestly believe that you can intimidate me?”
“I'm not certain do you have any sense?” Golden-Rod demands his eyes narrowing dangerously.
“Considering that you are the one whom barged in on Princess Luna and her son it is I who should be asking that question.” Blueblood returns with narrowed eyes and Golden-Rod freezes up.
“Golden isn't very bright I see.” I mutter to myself and Luna snorts. I think only she caught it.
“Pfft, I doubt the dark one compares even slightly to her sister! The thought of her being a threat is a joke!” Golden announces after a moment looking insulted at the idea that he would be afraid of Luna. This pony is more than an idiot. He's masochistic and suicidal.
“I'm glad I stepped out of the line of fire.” I note as I can see Luna getting more than a little angry. There is a rush of energy and Golden-Rod is simply gone. No flashes of light, no sounds or anything. He's just gone. I am now officially terrified.
“Guards be sure to let the Baron out of his cell when he's good and calm.” Luna says calmly. “Now Prince Blueblood, I am to believe you wished to speak to my son?”Luna says and I'm not sure if it's a question or a statement.
“Yes, I do. Prince Charon, you have done myself and my father a priceless service. If not for you his soul would still be in bondage and I would still be under the sway of a monster. You have my deepest thanks and the loyalty of house Gild-Iron.” he tells me and my jaw drops. I... I've earned the loyalty of a noble house? What the hell?
“Thank you... I... I'm not really used to this sort of thing. I don't know what to say...” I admit and he smiles and bows.
“You've said all you needed to Prince Charon. I will take my leave now.” Prince Blueblood says and he leaves quietly. I try and process the fact that I just had a noble house swear allegiance to me... I flit my spiritual senses a bit as I recenter myself and I feel... a piece of myself anchoring another. Blueblood has it... it takes me a moment but I realize it's the gem that Justicar was bound to. I guess he's literally got his father's spirit watching over his shoulder.
I look up to Luna for some kind of guidance and she just smiles at me. What the hell am I supposed to get out of that?!