There were no dreams. At least, I don’t think there were. I remember vaguely jolting upright whenever a pang of pain would hit me. The pain would come and go, and after a while it just didn’t affect me anymore. Guess I was too tired. Too tired to give a shit. It was the sun that actually, really woke me up. After blinking up at the ceiling, I was aware of some noise coming out of the open door.
It took me a second to realize it was the sound of whispers. It was subtle at first, but it slowly grew in volume, either the speakers growing braver or my brain was waking up. Maybe my ears did that swivel thing. Second nature now. Never realized just how awesome it was.
“Are you sure?” I heard a whispery voice ask.
“Yeah! He’s totally not okay. For the past couple of days he’s been acting really weird and it’s been getting worse,” a voice replied making the attempt at silence moot.
I blinked from where I lay down and took a deep breath and held it in so that my breaths wouldn’t disturb my ability to hear. Slowly, I started to sit up on the bed. My bed. I had no idea how I got there, but right now I was more intrigued by the voices outside the room. A part of me wanted to stand and walk over to the door and poke my head out but, knowing me, I’d somehow manage to get the door to fall on me and crush my body letting everyone know I was up. That would make sneaking to eavesdrop pointless. For now I contented myself in just sitting down where I was. Plus my legs felt stiff as hell; like wood.
“...well, what about Forest?”
My breath escaped as I heard my name and I inhaled another mouthful as quietly as possible and perked my ears up again. What were they talking about? Who else is ‘getting worse’ besides me? And how did they know I was getting worse in the first place! No, no. Something else was amiss here.
“He’s fine. Said he ended up in Cloudsdale yesterday.”
“He what?” The voice burst out in honest surprise, the whispering momentarily escaping into a low murmur.
From that snippet, I knew that it was most definitely Applebloom. I could tell her and her sister apart any day of the week.
Then the thought of Applejack’s lips, eyes, and her scent hit me like a ton of bricks. Emotions of the past flooded through my head. I shook it out unconsciously and sighed. I still wasn’t over her even after all this time? What about Twilight? Why the hell was I so caught up with the AJ? I knew it wasn’t fair on Twilight, but my heart just couldn’t turn itself off and couldn’t let go. Those first few days really were spectacular. It really wasn’t fair on anypony here. These emotions were beyond me. It was wrong, wasn’t it? To love two girls in the same way. Wasn’t it time I let it go of one? Wasn’t it time to let go of both? Now, especially? Wasn’t Atom back together with AJ?
Why the fuck wasn’t I over her yet?
“Yeah. He did say he ran all the way from the Wonderbolt training place.”
“What’s wrong?” Applebloom asked.
“It’s just that, I know that the place is pretty far away, but I know Forest. I mean, I know he can run. Running is what he does! He has amazing stamina and it’s about one of the only strengths he’s got.”
I pouted at that. I know he meant it as a compliment, but I mean -- come on!
“This time he looked so… tired. You know, even after the big race he didn’t look very tired, and if his hooves weren’t so hurt, I think he could have run it again. But when he came here, he was exhausted. So exhausted that I had to carry him to his room.”
“Maybe the strain’s gotten to him?”
“Maybe,” Spike replied unconvinced.
“What’s wrong?”
That was Sweetie Belle.
“I don’t know. It’s just, I don’t think that’s it. It’s just...”
“Well?”
“Nothing,” Spike said hesitantly.
“Come on. What aren’t you tellin’ us?”
“Don’t tell Twilight or the others this, but Forest’s…”
“Yeah?”
“Something’s really wrong with him too. Last night when I put him to bed he had a really, really high fever. He was shaking and sweating, and his body felt… wrong. Like it was broken. I thought I was feeling things, so I checked and, for a moment, it felt like like it really was wrong. Then, whatever it was was gone. And then his fever. I’m not kidding, he was literally baking! Then, it was just… gone! I’m not talking about it getting lower or anything. It was literally gone. One second he was practically falling apart and boiling alive, the next he was back to normal. Sweaty, but normal. I didn’t know what to think and did some research in the library. Nothing. In fact, I wasn’t so convinced, so I checked on him again and his fever was back. Then, when I checked again a moment later… gone! Then back. Each time it came back, he would start sweating and groaning like he was in a lot of pain, but then it would stop and he’d be fine.”
“That sounds weird,” Applebloom said thoughtfully.
“I don’t get it. I’ve been looking at all of Twilight’s medical books all morning, but nothing comes up. Can a fever come and go like that? Apart from the broken feeling and the fever, the closest thing I’ve come was constipation.”
There was a long pause of silence.
“Maybe he just hasn’t gone in awhile?”
I wanted to smack my face, but at least the other voices laughed lightly at that.
“Sorry, but keeping track of Forest’s ‘movements’ isn’t something I wanna do.”
Again, a small bout of laughter.
“Lotta strange things have been happenin’ lately,” Applebloom sighed.
“Yeah, you can say that again. First Brian gets sick, then that Sleeping Sickness puts half of Ponyville to sleep, then that strange rumor about Griffons and the Guard going to the border, and now Forest. Coincidence?” Spike heaved a loud sigh. “I hope so.”
“When it rains, it really pours,” Sweetie’s voice put in.
“But, I guess we’ve been through worse,” Spike replied, but he sounded unconvinced.
“Have we, Spike?”
There was more silence before I decided that enough was enough and I made to get out of bed when what was said next stopped me.
“Guys, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just gonna say it. I’ve... gotta go away for some time.” That was Applebloom.
That seemed to catch everyone off-guard.
“What? Why?” Sweetie protested.
“I just gotta. Somethin’ came up yesterday and… well, I gotta go and figure things out for myself. Can ya’ll promise me one thing before I go?”
“S-sure,” Spike said after a moment’s hesitation.
“Can ya watch over my sister? She’d prob’ly not understand. But I have to do this. I’m the only blank flank left! Well, ‘cept for Forest, and I gotta spend some time explorin’ on my own and finding out who I really am. I can’t explain deeper than that, but I just feel that somethin’s pullin’ me and I gotta go.”
“Well, what do we tell her where you’ve gone?” Spike asked.
“Tell her the truth. That I went to go find myself. To earn my Cutie Mark. I’ll be leavin’ in the mornin’ and I don’t want her to fret none. I’ve already talked to Big Mac and Granny. She’s sad, I know, but she also feels that I know what’s best for me. I just…” she let out a frustrated growl. “I’m tired of not havin’ my Cutie Mark and I’m tired… just tired of feelin’ that somethin’ in me is missin’.”
“What aren’t you telling me?” Sweetie asked.
“What dy’a mean?” Applebloom asked, her voice laced with apprehension.
“You’re my best friend, Bloom. I know when something’s bothering you. I know that we’ve been growing apart these past several months, ever since you got back from that last trip of yours.”
“Yeah. You could say that. Just was trying to pick up where I left off.
“All of us have been super busy. I understand. Our careers are growing. Scootaloo is getting married! And, yeah… life is moving on. But are you sure you gotta go again? Couldn’t you just stay? I’m sure we can find something together here!”
There was another long beat before Applebloom replied. “Don’t think so, Sweetie.”
“Are you sure? You’re my very best friend, Bloom. I know you better than you know yourself, but when you got back from that last trip you seemed like a whole different pony. And you didn’t tell us where you went or anything. And you didn’t speak to me and Scoots for days after you came home, and it wasn’t until Big Mac let slip that we found out you were back.”
“Yeah… sorry about that.”
“It was like you went out there and never came back. Then, as things went on, you seemed to get back to normal. But it was never the same between us, and you were always the glue that held our trio together. What happened out there? What didn’t you tell us?”
I flinched. As Sweetie spoke, her voice got louder and louder until she wasn’t whispering at all. She was damned near shouting.
Applebloom, in her nature, didn’t take it lying down.
“A lotta things happened, Sweetie. Just, I don’t rightly know if I wanna talk about it.”
“I won’t pretend to understand, ‘cause I don’t. I’m your best friend, Bloom. You can tell me anything. I’ll love you no matter what.”
“I… I know.”
There was another pregnant pause.
“You’ll be careful out there. Right?” Sweetie asked, almost pleadingly.
“Of course! Who d’ya think you’re talkin’ to?” Again there was a long silence. “Say bye to Forest for me. Tell him that… I’m sorry about the other day. I was just worried and protective about my sis. He’ll understand when ya tell him. I’ll write when I can.”
“I’ll come with you. I’ll help you pack and stuff. I got nothing else to do here, unless Spike needs me…”
“No. Go ahead, I’ll be waiting for you here,” Spike stated with pure, loving warmth. “Besides, Forest’s here. Who knows what’ll happen if I leave him alone. He might somehow burn this place down.”
That brought a chuckle from the girls.
I also chuckled lightly to myself. Wait! Did he actually mean it?
After a few muted goodbyes, the sound of the front door closing with a dull thud. It is amazing how close Sweetie and Applebloom were. That got me thinking more about my friendship with Spike. He was a good friend. Too good. Dare I say it, he was my best friend. He really was. Here I was, in another world and my best friend was a dragon! Who else could say something like that?
I lay my head back down and stared up at the ceiling above me. I thought about my life and what had made things come to this point. I thought about how things were starting to pan out, and I thought about how close the end was coming. And it terrified me. I wanted to run. Run far away. Further than anything. Yet, I knew that no matter how far I ran, it would be useless. I was trapped, and nothing could save me.
There was something on my cheek and I reached up to wiped it off.
A tear.
Appropriate, I said to myself. Crying like a bitch.
I don’t know how long I just remained where I was. I felt so defeated. So useless. Was there really nothing I could do to stay? I could beg Tutela to leave me be? She had said no, but I could keep asking. Nagging her until she caved. It was worth a shot. Something was better than nothing. In some sadistic way, I almost looked forward to it.
Raising myself up, I walked out of the guestroom -- my room -- and looked down into the middle of the library. Spike was standing there, leaning against a table with a claw on his chin. He seemed to be intently thinking of something or other. After a few moments he stirred and looked around, perhaps sensing my eyes on him. He finally turned his head in my direction and smiled with those razor sharp, steel-hard teeth.
“Morning,” I said stupidly.
“Morning? Just barely. It’s nearly noon,” Spike stated, gesturing to the clock with a slight tilt of his head. “Feeling better?”
“Peachy. Just peachy,” I lied. “Where is everypony?”
“I take it you mean the girls? Hospital.”
“What? All of them?”
“Eeyup,” Spike replied. “It’s no wonder they were affected by the Sleeping Sickness. They are the Elements after all; especially Twilight. Must be hardest on her being the Element of Magic. The mayor has asked everypony else to stay home unless they absolutely have to, and to take somepony else with them in case they fall asleep on the road. A couple ponies had done that and got really bad colds from sleeping outside. She’s even asked that any scheduled rain or cloud clearing be postponed.”
Never could get used to that concept. Clearing the sky by kicking away clouds would never be something I could get used to.
“There are a few are up and about, but for the most part Ponyville’s one sleepy town today.” Spike hesitated for a moment before asking, “You sure you’re okay, right?”
“Never felt better,” I lied again. I tried to put my heart into that response, but it was clear that I was forcing it.
“O-okay. If you say so,” Spike replied not wanting to press. “Oh, and… Applebloom said to tell you ‘bye’. Said you’d understand. She’s going somewhere.”
I nodded.
“Will she be gone long?” I asked.
“The last time she was gone for a couple months. But…”
“But…?” I prompted.
“It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t sounds like nothing.”
“Well,” Spike inhaled a deep breath, “when she came back… I mean, it wasn’t Applebloom. She was totally different. It took a while for her to sort of come back to how she was, but she never really was the same.” Spike rubbed his head and sighed again. “I guess things changed her out there.”
“Yeah. But then again, some things don’t change. Do you know where she went?”
The dragon shook his head. “I thought she went off to be a Guard, but I don’t know. Maybe she failed and thought we’d think badly of her.”
I nodded, but I could tell that he wasn’t really interested in pursuing that thought.
Breakfast, or rather brunch, was eaten more or less in silence after that. Despite our attempts to start any form of conversation, it all fell flat. His mind was preoccupied, as was mine, for completely different things. We could see each other open our mouths to say something, but instead it was filled with delicious foodstuffs and the only sound that came out was our mastication. We ended up just smiling stupidly at each other and bobbing our heads as if we had told a joke and were still giggling about it. It was amazing how we just fell in sync like that. We both understood that we didn’t want to pry, but we both were feeling bad for ignoring each other’s plight. I mean, the guy must have been dying inside to know what was going on with Twilight, as was I. But I was also preoccupied with other problems that went beyond my puppy-love. I was seriously freaking out with my own issues and I didn’t know what to do.
Where was that damn picture? Laptop. Where is my damned laptop? I wondered.
“Spike? Do you know where my picture is? The ugly one?”
Spike looked relieved that I had asked something else and not regarding how he was doing or what was on his mind. He jumped at the chance to answer the question. “That… ‘thing’? It’s hanging on a hook in your room behind the door. If it’s so ugly, why keep it?”
“You already know the answer to that. It’s the only thing that I have from my previous life.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. Your ‘amnesia’,” he said, quoting it with his fingers in mid-air.
I gave him a wry smile. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“I hope that your ‘amnesia’ gets better,” he said with a knowing smirk.
I mumbled something about him being silly, but the truth was that I hadn’t even thought about it. Did he really understand the impact of what he was saying? Did he actually, really know that I was lying? And was he honestly okay with it? He looked like it. I felt a sudden knot in my chest and my eyes began to tear up.
Spike picked up the plates, avoiding looking at me as I fought the sudden pain engulfing my body. He took them to the sink ignoring my sudden strain. Man, we were really synced to each other. He knew I didn’t want to make a show of it. The pain went away in an instantand, while the dragon’s back was turned, I quickly wiped my eyes dry.
“I’m, er, going upstairs.”
“Sure thing.”
As I walked away, thoughts of Twilight filled my mind. Man, that mare was something else. Did she really love me? It felt like she did, but I still couldn’t understand how. And I really, really liked her. Not sure I was about to say love, but I had very strong feelings. If only we had done something before Applejack. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Better. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have been so god-damned confused about everything.
A bubble of emotion shrouded my heart and made my eyes water. I held it in. Damn it, I wasn’t about to cry like a little bitch but my eyes would not stop trying to vomit out water. I leaned against the wall along the staircase struggling with myself, trying to control the pain in my chest. Not like before. This pain was the emotional one. The other I could take, but this pain was something else. This pain was cruel. I couldn’t accept Tutela’s demands. How could I? But there was no way out of it. None.
It was all too much and I could feel the panic and fear grow.
What made it worse was the realization that I owed Tutela. I owed that bitch. Therein lay one of the many problems. If I owed her so much, was it right for me to take advantage? One part of me said yes, but the other was pushing me to do the right thing. My pony counterpart? I don’t know, but it was fucking annoying.
Spike sighed and kept facing the wall as he washed the dishes. “I wish she’d wake up soon. I don’t know, but something about today just feels… off. Can’t say why. Maybe it’s dragon’s intuition.”
“That a thing?” I asked, my voice a little shaky, but controllable. “Want help?”
“I like doing dishes. It helps me think. Meditate.”
“Really?”
“Hey, I did dishes all my life. I guess I just formed a habit of it. Leave me alone!”
I laughed lightheartedly at that before seating myself back at the table and watched him in silence. That got me thinking about the last time I washed dishes. I couldn’t remember. Was it with my grandmother? The memories of that dream I had with her. What did it mean? Do dreams mean anything?
My home back on earth did have a shitty dishwasher, but I never used it because I’d just go downstairs to that awful Chinese place and order food. I smirked as I remembered the putrid stench of fried oil wafting through the floor and into everything I owned, particularly my clothes. The thought made me sick to my stomach. Was it my memory of living on that world that made me feel sick, was it the memory of that life? Or was it because it was all coming to an end.
“I… got to go to the toilet,” I announced.
The dragon turned his head slightly and gave me a disgusted expression. “Thanks for letting me know.”
I chuckled at him and slipped away. I actually needed to talk to Tutela; convince her somehow of letting me stay and extending my ability to remain in Equestria for just a while longer. Much longer.
But how? Would she even humor the thought? She said that she needed me, that I was her source of nourishment. That my hate and anger were fueling her. Why couldn’t she just redo the spell and let me stay. I’d hate her regardless of where I was. Guaranteed. So, why couldn’t she still ‘feed’ off of me while I was happy?
I quickly closed the door to my room and saw the laptop hanging in front of me. It was blank, the picture of the forest was was gone. A black rectangle was all that greeted me. I leaned in and tapped the camera carefully. Suddenly a huge eye appeared and I took a step back in shock.
“What?”
“Well hello to you too,” I replied sarcastically.
“Get on with it. I’m busy.”
“Busy doing what?” I asked, refraining from letting my temper get the better of me.
The changeling took a step back, or did the image zoom away? Anyway, she made a face of pure annoyance. “What do you want, John.”
It wasn’t a question.
As much as I wanted to continue taunting her, right now wasn’t the time. I sighed and began telling her what I was feeling. The pain, the strange feeling that was happening to me. The more I talked, the more she listened. The more she listened, the further back away from the screen she went. Until she was sitting in the middle of what looked like a swirling tornado of pollution. She seemed quite oblivious to it, so I ignored it. Who was I to question the going-ons of a magic worlds within a magic world? That aside, what would I say? If she was ignoring it, then it shouldn’t have concerned me. Yet, a small part of me found it quite intimidating.
After my story, she sat there and stared at me with the same bored expression.
I felt my annoyance grow and was about to say something when Tutela asked: “These ‘feelings’ in your body, how much of them can you feel? Can you feel like bending your fingers?”
I thought about it. “A little. It does feel like I could do it if I had fingers. It’s like my body remembers, I think.”
Tutela nodded silently for a second. “That’s not good. The spell is wearing off faster than anticipated.”
“What?” I couldn’t hold back my shock, and barked it out.
“Forest? You okay up there?” Spike called up from the kitchen.
“F-fine!” I called back. “Just was surprised by… the ugly frame again!” I waited until I heard Spike walk away. I could imagine him shaking his head. “What do you mean, ‘faster than anticipated’?” I continued whispering harshly.
“The spell is wearing off faster. I don’t know how much time you have left, but I warn you: you have to get out of there now, Forest. I can’t pull you away with that bracelet on. Even if I could I don’t know if it’d work. Get it off, or get your flank over to the Everfree. You don’t have time to waste—”
“What? No! I still have some time left!”
“No. You don’t,” Tutela growled. “Once the spell wears off, you’re going to turn back. That is if you survive the transition without me, which you won’t. You don’t understand just how important it is that you get out of there. If the princesses find out…”
“They won’t do anything!” I replied in a harsh whisper. “They won’t!”
“John. Listen to me. Carefully this time. No anger, no arguing. Just listen. To you, the princesses finding out about this place is the smallest of your problems. Right now your life is in danger. Without me to help you through the transition process, you will die. The chances of you surviving the transformation from pony back to your human form is slim at best. You might end up with your heart outside your body, or your brain in your ass. This isn’t a game, John.”
“Why are you calling me that?”
“Because that is who you are. Not Forest. John. And once you are dead and gone, the princesses will find out that the gap between the worlds is still open and they will close it with me in here because they won’t know I’m here. They will close the portals and I will be imprisoned in this place for the rest of my would-be short life? That’s going to happen, John. Have you thought about that?”
I stuck out my jaw. “I have.”
“Y-you have?” she asked, shocked.
“Yeah. You may be a bitch, but you don’t deserve… that. You don’t deserve to die.”
There seemed to be a small smile on her lips, but she waved a hoof in front of her face and I couldn’t be sure. “Nevermind that. Look, I know you’re not stupid. You may be arrogant and stubborn,” she looked away, “that being and understatement, but--” she looked back at me, “but somewhere in that head of yours you have some inclination of loyalty and, dare I say it, compassion. I know that. I’ve watched you for years. You do owe me for this and there’s nothing, nothing, you can say otherwise.”
“The princesses won’t do anything to you!” I replied trying to keep the begging in my voice from coming out.
“John. Please. What happened years before was… that nearly ended everything. You being there threatens Equestria’s and Earth’s existence, John. For one thing, you’re different. The circumstances of you being there is different. I know it was a whim, but I felt that I needed to send you there. The more I thought about it, the more I am unsure why. You aren’t there through the same reasons that Brian went through. And you need me. Your life is in danger, John. Do you understand?”
I bowed my head.
“And don’t underestimate how strong Celestia or Luna are. Did your forget what Celestia did to you back in Canterlot?”
“It was an accident,” I replied weakly, remembering the pain vividly.
Tutela nodded. “Yes. It was. And now imagine what she could do if it wasn’t an accident. Let’s put things in perspective. When Rainbow came to your world, the event tore both realities apart. It was leading to the inevitable destruction of not only both worlds, but both realities. Put that into an equation, John. Do you think that your life is equatable to the lives of every living being in both realities? Never mind just Earth and Equestria -- or whatever they call that world, but the very fabric of the universe itself! Think, John. Will she spare you or me if it meant the destruction of literally everything in the process?”
I remained silent.
Tutela nodded. “Like I said, without me to help the transformation process, who knows what’ll happen to you. If you’re not here in time for me to help while your body undoes the spell, the magic inside you, and yes, there is magic inside you, will tear you apart and you will die.”
Suddenly, like a hammer, it dropped and everything made sense. It all made sense. The reason why I could walk on clouds, the reason why Rarity’s spell wove around me and hit that tower. The strange anomalous reactions to the various magics cast on me through the bracelet. Even that strange ‘sense’ that Twilight kept alluding to when she was near me. It was all because I did have magic within me. But not just any magic. Changeling magic. Or some form of it.
I ground my teeth.
Tutela’s voice softened. “I’m not your enemy, Forest. I never was. And no matter what you say, we’ve been inexplicably connected, you and I. Ever since I was shoved into this… realm all thsoe years ago when Rainbow vanished into your world, I’ve been with you somehow. Ever since then I’ve known that I needed to keep you alive. At first I used you. Your antics helped alleviate my boredom in a place where I cannot go from and remain. But as time wore on, as I saw how hard it was for you, and what led you to become what you were, how a kind-hearted child turned into a bitter, reluctant recluse with a chip on his shoulder, it also occurred to me that you could not live without me either. You and I are together in this. You need me to save you. And I need you to save me.”
I couldn’t think. My brain froze.
“Save… you? Save me? Save… us?”
“Well… yeah. I mean, I gave you that form because… you know…”
“To see me suffer?” I growled.
She shook her head slowly. “I saw your life, John. From when you were a young boy. We haven’t had a chance to talk about it because I didn’t know how to talk about it. I saw everything. Every part of your life. I got to see what you were, how you loved so dearly, and how you were hurt so completely--”
“Don’t talk about that,” I said looking down. I knew exactly what she meant.
“I know, John. Life hasn’t been kind to you. The way he beat you. The way your loved ones abandoned you. The way that knife…” she stopped and I looked up. She had her eyes closed. “But, in your own way, you were actually the kindest one of all. Your bitterness could not penetrate deep enough to taint that heart. You stayed late at that crappy job, not for your own selfish desires, but out of an innate desire to help those around you. You finished projects well ahead of time, built a reputation of being a hard man but with that hardness an employee that was tough to the core.”
I looked at her harder. Was she being… nice?
“But you were growing colder, meaner. I couldn’t let that boy turn into something he wasn’t. I couldn’t let that happen to you and I wanted to help. I wanted to remind you of what you were. I wanted to see you actually live, John. You’ve had it rough, I know. And… I guess I just wanted to remind you of what you really are.”
I stared at her. I actually never really thought about it.
She looked at me. “I wanted to see you again, John. Not that prick I picked up in my cave a month ago. I wanted to see the young, kind, and wonderful young boy who would not let the world crush that spirit. I wanted to bring him back. I wanted to bring you, the real you, back.”
I didn’t know what to say. For so long I had hated this female. Or rather, I’ve tried to hate her. But, looking back and despite my sincerest attempts, there was always a soft spot that I could never smother and now I understood why. Perhaps, at some level, I knew I had to be thankful to her. I mean, she was always watching me, ever since… since…
“Wait. You… were always watching me? Even when I…?”
“Yes. Always.” She looked at me and her eyes narrowed and a small mischievous smirk appeared on her lips. “Even when you found that naughty magazine and took it to the basement to ogle at it and even when…”
My face felt like it was on fire as I stuck my hoof up and shook my head.
“And even that time with your first girlfriend when you couldn’t…”
“Okay!” I grunted. “I get it.”
And for the first time, we both shared a laugh. Together.
Suddenly I felt my spine pull my body backwards. It felt like I was being put on a giant press, the machine trying to straighten out my spine. I wanted to scream, but the pain was too unbearable and I only managed a soft whimper. Then my skull felt like someone or something was smashing my sides inwards and my snout, or nose, into my face. In that moment I looked up at a mirror and was horrified by what a saw. Half human, half pony. No. quarter human, quarter pony, half abomination.
Then the pain stopped and I blinked at the image in the mirror only to find myself back the way I was. Still a pony.
“You okay?” Tutela asked, this time I could see the concern on her face. “That was a bad one, wasn’t it?”
“The worst one yet. Ouch,” I stated, rubbing my haunches.
There was a long beat of silence between us.
“But why is the spell wearing off so fast?” I asked through gritted teeth trying to force the painful memory of the agony I just felt out of my head.
She looked down at her hooves. “How many days in total did you spend in here with me while you were recovering?”
“I don’t know.”
“Certainly more than two. Plus I suspect that the magic you probably used in that ‘Marking Spell’ drained some of the magic I had inside you too. Particularly that massive lightshow you did to let your friends know you were still alive. This is the only thing that makes sense.”
“Doesn’t magic… reset?” I asked, hoping against all odds.
“In most cases, yes. But you’re different. As you can plainly tell.”
I stood there and stared at my hooves.
Tutela leaned forward and looked at me with her eyes wide. “Forest, listen to me.” She looked down again. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry it has to end like this. You don’t deserve it. But we’re out of options and I don’t want you to die there. Maybe, later, we can think about sending you back. I promise.”
What could I say to that? I stared at the mare for a long while, neither one of us saying anything. Then I grinned. “I’ll hold you to that.”
She looked up at me and there was a real smile on that face. A real, gentle smile that shocked me. “See you soon.”
I nodded.
A second later a light knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” I said staring at Tutela as the door swung open hiding the laptop from my view.
Spike entered pushing the door open so that the laptop was now facing the wall. He looked around before focusing on me. “Um… who were you talking to?”
I stood up and walked over to the window and stared out at the uncharacteristically silent town of Ponyville.
“Myself.”
“Um… okay.” I could hear him breathing behind me. “You do a good mare’s voice, y’know.”
I made a face. But I thought about what Tutela said to me. Was she telling me the truth? She had to have been. She admitted everything, and although there were reasons, I trusted her desire to keep me alive. But what other reasons could there be? Certainly the attacks were getting worse. The worst part was the feeling of utter helplessness during these episodes. I raised my left hoof and stared at it, almost feeling my fingers. It was time. Time to go. I had to accept it and hope that Tutela would keep her promise to me someday.
“Forest!”
I jumped at the sudden shout of my name.
“You’re spacing out again.” Spike had his claw on my shoulder. “Forest. We’re friends, right? You can tell me if something is wrong.”
No I can’t. “Sure, Spike. I know.”
He waited, I think expecting me to say something. When I didn’t he made an exasperated face, but didn’t press the matter. I knew that it was eating him on the insides, but even at this point I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him about me. It was different with the girls. They figured it out on their own, but I had straight out told Spike lies.
I felt so filthy. I lied to my best friend. Then a part of me was rationalizing it. That if I was going to go, then it would just be unnecessary heartache for him to know the truth. It wasn’t going to affect him, and I’m sure that eventually the girls will tell him what they knew. He’d feel cheated and most probably start hating me. That was good. At least then he wouldn’t miss me.
“Wanna go see Pinkie?” Spike suddenly asked. “She woke up last night and asked about you.”
“She did?”
“Yeah! Well, she asked about a lot of people, but you were definitely mentioned!” Spike jumped at the opportunity to get me talking. It was so obvious, but I didn’t care. He was doing his best to make me feel better, and he was. “We could go now, if you want.”
“Okay. Let’s go. Just give me a minute to...” I looked around my room. My room, “to…”
“I’ll be waiting for you downstairs,” Spike said and exited the room.
I waited a moment, waited until I heard him make his way towards the front door before moving. I stopped just beside the bedroom door.
“How long?” I asked.
“Today. Tonight at the latest,” Tutela’s muffled voice came. “And even that is risking it. Don’t be late. I don’t know how long you have left over there, but it isn’t long. You’ll know when.”
“What do I need to do?”
“You need to get to the same spot as before in the Everfree. I think you should know it relatively by now. Just get in a general area of the clearing and I’ll do the rest.”
I pictured the grassy area in the forest near Zecora’s place. “Do I need to bring the laptop along?”
“No.”
Knowing that I probably was never going to another set hoof in the room, I tried to take it all in. I tried to memorize every detail I could. Then I rubbed a hoof against the door, stroking it like it was an old pet.
“Good bye,” I whispered, and left.
Outside the library, I was greeted with a damp, foggy day.
“It’s ‘cause the pegasi are all sick,” Spike stated as he stood up from leaning against the library sign.
“Hm?”
“The fog. The pegasi are all on sick leave, so nopony’s around to clear the clouds. Some of the earth ponies were complaining, but without a weather team it’s difficult. We’ve asked a few pegasi to come from other towns, but they’re keeping away because of the Sleeping Sickness. Anyway, I kinda like it. Is that weird?”
“Maybe because it’s a novelty, so no. Don’t think so.”
Spike nodded. “Yeah. You could be right.”
We walked on for a few moments in silence before the fog seemed to get thicker. The sounds of my hooves seemed very loud and I found myself looking at the ground in front of me. Just as I was about to say something to Spike, I bumped into something. I looked up and my heart caught in my throat.
Standing in front of me looked like a huge pony. No. Too big to be a pony. A horse? Were there horses here? Why was I thinking about that? The problem was that even though it was there, it also wasn’t there. Its eyes bore down into me and I found myself whimpering on the floor. It took a step towards me, the ground trembling from the force, but not a sound resounded from the step. It then lowered its head closer to me and stopped just before it broke through the fog. Or was the fog coming from it.
Then two eyes blazed through the haze with an intensity that seemed to radiate some sort of light and I was paralyzed. My legs began to ache, my ears began to hear rain, like white noise and I wanted to scream. Wanted to cry out for help, but all I could muster was a barely audible whine.
“S-Spike,” I whimpered. “H-help me.”
Something reached for me. The feeling of dread squeezed the air out of me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t do anything except shrink into myself. I wanted to run. I wanted to go away. I wanted to…
“Forest! Snap out of it!”
I found myself standing in the middle of the road in front of Crystal’s hotel looking towards the market. Spike was in front of me, his eyes had replaced those two glowing embers that had been there moments before.
My face hurt.
“Did… did you slap me?”
“Are you okay?” he asked ignoring my question.
“Yeah. Ow, my face. Why’d you hit me for?”
“You were screaming! Look!” He gestured with his head and I turned to see quite a lot of ponies staring at me. “They all came running out when you started.”
“Was I screaming that loud?” I asked.
“Forest, you were screaming so loud, a blind pony could have found you from the other side of town! What happened?”
“I… I dunno. I just saw something that really freaked me out. Two eyes. They were glowing, like… like glowing. And I felt… felt...” Like I was being torn apart from the inside, like it was coming for me, that if it touched me, bad things would happen, and I’d… die, “scared.”
Normally he would have made a snide remark at that, but he saw something in my eyes that made him aware just how freaked out I was. What was that? What was happening to me?
“Can you walk?”
“Y-yeah. I think so.”
I took a step without issue, but my knees felt so wobbly. How strange that in that strange semi-dream state that I was in, I had pinned myself to the ground, but when was standing up when I snapped out of it. What did it mean?
“Come on. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Hospital. Now. We’re getting you checked out. And I’m not taking no for an answer. We’re going. We’ll get you checked out and we can see Pinkie and the others.”
We headed towards the hospital, the other ponies, seeing that I was fine, went about their business. A few lingered, their eyes on me, but when it was clear that I was moving along, they also went on with their lives.
Lucky bastards.
“I didn’t realize you stopped walking with me until you started screaming. I thought you were right behind me,” Spike said.
“Sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I dunno.”
“You scared me, you know. Thought something bad happened.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing!” He fidgeted with his claws. “Look, if you want to talk about it…”
I stopped and so did he. “Spike. B-back there, those eyes... they looked as if they were studying me. Looking into me. I don’t know how else to describe it. I felt… naked.”
“Naked?”
“You know. Without any clothes—”
“I know what naked means, you dope. It’s just a strange thing for a pony to say.” He rubbed his head with his hand and sighed. “I don’t know. I think we’ll need to tell Twilight about this when she wakes up. It kinda sounds serious, and I’ve been mixed up with the Elements of Harmony long enough to know when things are serious. I knew today felt off.”
We walked a few steps before I snirked and started to laugh. He turned his head to look at me with a dry expression.
“What’s so funny?”
“I don’t know. I think I just need a good laugh,” I said between breaths.
He shook his head, but he started laughing as well. After a moment we were both laughing our lungs out, and a few ponies who happened to see us couldn’t help but giggle at our laughter.
Spike wiped away the tears from the corner of his eyes. “Wow. I needed that.”
“Me too.”
“I don’t even know what we’re laughing about!” Spike said and slapped my back.
“Neither do I!” I replied, and laughed along.
Come on, Forest. Tell him you’re leaving town.
“Spike… I….” We were still giggling lightly like two maniacs when he paused at my attempt at conversation. Then the doors swung open and the hussle and bussle of the hospital roared to life and the thought died with the ruckus. We stepped inside. It was like the entire community had moved into the building.
Nurse Redheart saw me and beckoned me over with her hoof. “Forest, could you do me a favor?”
“Sure!”
“Can you take some new sheets and linen from the basement to the fourth floor ward. They need some and I’m severely understaffed.”
“Sure!”
“Spike, can you help too?”
“Of course,” the dragon stated and the two of us were off towards the stairs that led down.
Saying that the hospital was understaffed was an understatement. The basement was overwhelmed with dirty linen that we found ourselves practically swimming towards the other end through a ‘lake’ of filthy sheets. Spike was concerned that he’d catch something, but I assured him that the really dirty stuff go directly into the washing area and not here. This was just for ‘general dirty’ linen.
He still was worried, but I think a little less so.
It took us a few minutes to load two linen carts and wheel them into the nearest service elevator. On our way up, we practically stopped on every floor and staff members, completely overwhelmed with jobs to do, piled in and out. A few even took the momentary lull to catch a quick ten-second nap between floors, which was amazingly impressive. Then again, couldn’t ponies sleep standing up anyway?
When we got to the fourth floor, it was completely different from the others. Here things were still, quiet, silent.
A nurse saw us and smiled. “Thank you, boys. Red said you’d be coming. Thank you. It’s been very hectic.”
She talked so quietly, that Fluttershy would have seemed like a loud-mouth.
“It’s no problem, Nurse…”
“Tenderheart,” I whispered impossibly quieter out of the corner of my lips.
“Tenderheart,” Spike whispered loudly and smiled.
If Tenderheart heard me, she didn’t seem to care. She wheeled the carts into a backroom and started placing blankets in ordered rows. “Twilight’s in room six.”
“Thanks, Tenderheart!” I blurted out loud.
“Sh!” she scolded, but had a tiny smile on her lips as I turned away and headed down the hall.
Slowly, I pushed the door open and peered inside. Twilight was out like a light, he chest rising up and down under the sheets. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. That made her smile a little, so I did it again. I placed my head on hers and remained there for a while. Spike was rolling his eyes and leafing through magazines in the corner trying not to disturb the other patients in the ward, but I didn’t care.
I didn’t care because this was going to be the last time I’d ever get to touch her.
“I’m going to go away, Twilight,” I whispered quietly in her ear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you when you were awake. Please don’t hate me.”
Then I pulled her closer to me as gently as I could and held her there. I didn't want to let her go. I didn’t want to leave. It might have seen exaggerated for those who saw me, but it was my goodbye. I placed my head on her neck behind her mane and fought the tears that were streaming down my eyes. I couldn’t let Spike see. I couldn’t let him see because if he saw then he’d get all worried and make my life a living hell. He’d follow me around and I just couldn’t allow that. I needed to leave quietly. I had to slip away and disappear.
Deep inside me I felt hot molten anger begin to bubble.
Why wasn’t he leaving me alone with her? Why was he still here in this room? I should tell him to fuck off. To get his face out of here. Let me say my goodbye in peace, the ungrateful son of a—
I snapped out of it.
My hoof began to hurt. A lot. I gritted my teeth and plunged my face into Twilight’s pillow and bit it. Bit it hard that I thought my teeth were going to break. I didn’t dare breathe as I started to feel the pain coming in at full force.
I started to shudder.
“Forest, are you okay? It’s okay. Twilight’s just sleeping,” Spike said and placed his claw on my shoulder again. He yanked it off suddenly. “Ow! Wow. You’re burning up. I mean really burning up.”
I took a deep breath.
“I’m okay, Spike.”
“No way, Forest. You’re really,” he touched me again and furrowed his brow, “not burning up anymore.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Forest. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t.”
My blood began to boil. Again I felt raw anger well up inside me. It was like a fountain of hate, an inferno waiting to burst onto the surface. It was like all this pressure was building up within me waiting to explode with the fury of a thousand suns.
No! I shouted at myself in my head. Not to Spike. Never to Spike. Ever.
And somewhere a voice replied. “So be it.”
“The fu-” I blurted, raising my head from the pillow and looking around. The action made Spike jumped back in surprise. We both looked at each other. “D-did you hear that?”
“Hear what? I heard nothing. You just scared me. Don’t do that.”
Was I hearing things? Great. Now I’m hallucinating through my ears. Was that even possible? I turned to Twilight again. She looked so peaceful sleeping there.
I bent down and kissed her on the lips gently. “Goodbye.”
Spike had to drag me, literally, out. At the last moment, he waited for me as he held the door open for me to leave. Just as I was about to step out, a voice made me stop.
“Forest… don’t… go…” I turned to see Twilight with her eyes tightly shut. She turned her head slightly to the side. Was she awake? “Don’t… leave… me… again...”
She sighed and relaxed.
Sleep-talking?
I couldn’t help it. I rushed over to her and again placed my head on hers. I breathed her in once more. Her scent. Her life. Everything. I drank it all in. She was making this really, really, really hard on me. “Sorry, Twi. I gotta go. No matter what, know that I’ll always, always love you. I know it seems lame now because you’re sleeping and you probably won’t hear me, but if I’m never sure about anything anymore, at least I’m sure that I really do love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life.”
A cute, quiet, grunt-snore was all I got in response. I couldn’t help but gently laugh at that. I stared at her sleeping there and tried to memorize everything I could. From the way her cheeks had that slight color to them, to how her nostrils would gently flare up every other breath. I saw her as she was, and tried to burn that image in my head. My most painful memory. I inhaled her scent, that lavender essence that was all her. That was something I was going to miss the most.
Eventually it was Spike that managed to somehow pry me loose and drag me out of the ward. When we were outside I slumped onto the floor. Again that volcanic explosion growled inside me. I stumbled slightly at the sheer force of it, but I conquered the rage and force it down. With my broken heart, the feeling wasn’t as powerful as before. Guess there was only room for so much emotion in me at one go.
“W-wanna go see Pinkie?” Spike asked.
“Sure,” I replied, not really wanting to.
I didn’t want to leave Twilight but I had to. I had to. I was delaying and the more I delayed, the more dangerous it was becoming for me. If I lingered any long near her, my resolve would weaken and I would not be able to go.
As I stood in the door, I turned slightly to see Twilight on the bed. Was it my imagination, but her eyes seemed to form tears. I paused a moment, smiled gently, and stepped outside the threshold. And just like that, she was gone.
When we saw Pinkie, she was staring out the window her hair not like her usual poofines. Instead it was straight and she seemed like a completely different pony. Now, I’ve seen Pinkie’s hair deflate several times, but this was the first time that it look so… sad. I mean, Pinkie and sad just didn’t fit together in the same sentence. I expected to see her face to be in the dictionary next to the word happy and any of its synonyms.
“Hi Pinkie,” I said as happily as I could. “Glad to see you’re awake.”
She looked over to me and smiled. The smile was genuine, but her hair and the fact that I couldn’t see the usual shine in her eyes gave it away. She was trying to be strong.
“Oh, hi Forest. Hi Spike. Thank you for visiting me. Everypony is so sad today. Even the sky is sad,” she said looking out the window. “I fell asleep before everypony else, so I’m awake before everypony else.”
“Yeah, the sky is foggy ‘cause the pegasi are all sleeping,” Spike pointed out.
“I know,” Pinkie replied, still giving us that fake-ass smile.
Spike put his claw on Pinkie’s head. “Why so glum, chum?”
“I don’t know. It’s just, I feel that today I have to be sad. I just have to be. Do you know why? It’s strange. It’s like everything is telling me that today the Element of Laughter needs to… take a break, and I don’t know why. Does that sound mean?”
Spike furrowed his brow, “Of course not! You get to choose how you feel.”
“I think it’s because of Brian. I don’t understand what is going on, but I heard the doctor and it sounded…” she looked down at her hooves, “sounded not fun. Not fun at all.”
Spike and I exchanged glances. I placed a hoof on hers. “Pinkie—”
“Forest, are you going away too?”
Well, that came out of nowhere.
“W-what?”
“Are you going away too? I think you are. My heart tells me you’re going. Going someplace far, far away. That you have to go and that I can’t stop you otherwise something else that’s worse will happen.” She looked deep into my eyes. “And this time I can’t go with you, can I?”
“Pinkie…”
“Forest will be right here, Pinks,” Spike stated.
“No. He won’t. I can feel it. I can tell,” Pinkie touched my face with her hoof. “I know. I don’t know how I know, but I know. You have to go. And I can’t stop you because you have to. I can’t be sad about you leaving because… it would be sadder if you stayed. But, I can be a little sad that it might be a long, long, long, long-long-long-long time before we see each other again.”
“Pinkie…” I gently held her hoof against my cheek. “Y’know, for what it’s worth, I think I’m okay with it if you think we’ll see each other again.”
She forced a smile on her lips. “Me too.”
And we hugged. We hugged like old friends. I hugged her with all the warmth and, dare I say it, love that I could muster because this was Pinkie. She was my special friend. A true friend. A friend that would understand. No matter what. Strange that.
As I released her, the pooffiness of her hair had returned. I wiped a tear from her eye. Good ‘ol Pinkie. It takes another type of person… pony to be that strong.
“Hey, hey. No more tears. Aren’t you the Element of Happiness?”
She giggled. “Laughter.”
“Laughter, happiness. Can’t have one without the other. Actually, I think the Element of Happiness is a way cooler title.”
Again, she only giggled at that, her hair seeming to inflate a little more.
Suddenly, a sharp pain rang out from my back as Pinkie gave me an almighty slap. “So, before you go, we’re going to hang out. We’re going to hang out until it’s time!” she said with her usual bounciness.
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. "You know, you’re pretty incredible.”
“Oh, I know,” Pinkie replied and waved me off.
“I don’t understand what’s going on. You’re going somewhere, Forest?”
“Yeah, ‘fraid so, Spike,” I said and looked up at him. “It’s something that I just gotta go and do.”
“I don’t get it,” Spike said and shook his head. “This day is just the pits. When do you have to go?”
“Tonight,” Pinkie answered for me. “He’s leaving on the last train.”
I looked at her, and she gave me a wink that anybody, forget pony, could have caught, but for some reason Spike either missed it or ignored it.
“First Applebloom, now Forest… what’s going on?” Spike muttered. He sighed and shrugged. “Well, if it’s Forest’s last day here in Ponyville, then we gotta go and do something, right? Like a party?”
“You know, I think one last look through town would be great. Say goodbye to everypony.”
“Whatever you want, Forest.” Spike smacked my back. “But Twilight won’t be happy when she wakes up, y’know.”
“I know.”
“Can’t you wait until then?”
“I think she knows already, Spike. Besides, it might be too painful to do it while she’s awake and I don’t think she’d let me go. Honestly, I don’t know if I could leave if I faced her…”
“Geez, just like AJ and her sister,” Spike muttered again. “If you’re sure. I still think it isn’t really fair on her.”
“None of this is fair, Spike, but it’s what I’ve gotta go and do.”
“You remember something? Like, from your past?”
“Something like that.”
“Oh.” He mulled over that for a while. “Well, let’s go then.”
The three of us walked out of the hospital and I stopped outside and turned around and looked back where we came. Applejack and Twilight were in there. I had said goodbye to Twilight, but I couldn’t bear to repeat that process with Applejack. She’d understand, wouldn’t she? After all, she was back with Atom. Right? They'd be happy together. Right? And she was sleeping anyway.
“Something wrong, Forest?” Pinkie asked.
“Nah. Nothing. Just… just wondering if I should say bye to Applejack.”
“Well, why not? She’s not here. She’s at home. Since you wanna go and look around, we could stop in at the Apples’ place and say bye,” Pinkie shoved me gently. “Anypony else?”
“Yes. Many. The Cakes. Rainbow. Rarity.”
“Fluttershy?”
“I don’t really know Fluttershy that well…”
“That’s okay. It’ll be something to do. You did help her when Angel passed after all. Who else?”
“Brian.”
Pinkie stopped and looked back at the hospital. She touched my hoof gently and looked up into my eyes. “Okay. Go and say goodbye to him.”
I was unable to say anything in response. I turned around and headed into the hospital, walking past the staff in a sort of daze. I made my way up the stairs and looked at the doorway. It had all happened automatically.
There was a moment where I wanted to turn around and flee. Just, run away and never return. I couldn’t help myself. But I knew that if I didn’t say goodbye I would never forgive myself. Even after all this time, I still hadn’t made good with Brian. Sure, he forgave me but I never really went out of my way to try and at least do the right thing. I had to. Right now, this was going to be my last opportunity.
I pushed open the door and froze.
Brian lay on the bed with tubes all over his body. I turned to see Rainbow looking at her father with eyes soaking wet. She had been crying.
Stupid, stupid! I reprimanded myself. Of course she’d be there.
Rainbow seemed to sense a change and looked up to see me standing there. She rushed over and gripped me in a vicious hug. I was taken slightly aback by how aggressive it was, but considering her situation, it wasn’t that unsurprising. I felt her shake as she let a new barrage of tears fall from her eyes wetting my shoulder in silence. I tapped her back and waited for her to let go. If she needed a shoulder to cry on, then I would lend her mind. That’s what a friend would do.
“S-sorry. I just needed that,” she sniffled and let go. He looked at me and nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.
“Hey, no worries. How is he?”
“Not good. Doctors said that it’s touch and go now.”
“I see.” I looked over to him and felt a mixture of guilt and relief wash over me. Him being asleep meant that I didn't need to say goodbye. But I felt guilty because I wanted to tell him that he had been right. A ‘soft’ confession, that he had been justified in being suspicious with me. He had a right to know, but now that could never happen. I wasn’t going to disturb him nor flood his mind with stupid shit that wasn’t important anymore.
Then he moved. He turned his head and looked over to me. I saw him furrow his brow, then a small smile broke on his face as he saw his daughter.
“Rainbow?”
“Y-yes?”
“I think your dad’s awake.”
She turned, and seeing her father’s open eyes, quickly went to his side and tried to hug him without moving any of the tubes. They began to cry together, and I felt really awkward. I didn’t know what to do, so I slowly backed away and out of the door.
“W-wait,” came a croak from Brian. “Forest. C’mere.”
I did as I was asked.
“You’re a good guy, Forest,” Brian said weakly. “I’m sorry for suspecting you for being… whatever. Thinking back, I had no reason to. Sometimes… just… even after everything, and what you did for me, I just wanted to be sure. Even if you aren’t who you say you are, or if the rumors of you being a Changeling are true, I don’t care. I know that your heart is in the right place. Just wanted to be careful. Guess old habits die hard.”
I smiled at that. “Yeah. They do.”
“I wanted to make the slate clean. We good?”
“We were never not ‘good’. You were doing it to protect Rainbow. For that, I cannot hold anything against you. You’re a great dad. You really are.”
He smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“No. Thank you. Thank you for… thank you for… I don’t know, but thank you.”
He smiled, and coughed a lightly. “You know, I don’t get you.”
“Neither do I.”
Liar! You pussy! You can’t confess! You’re nothing but a coward. Tell him! Tell him right now, you stupid son-of-a-bitch! Tell him that he was right all along and that you’re a lying scumbag. That you’re an asshole. That you deserve nothing from him! That he was right.
And yet, I just couldn’t do it. The words refused to come out.
“Well, good luck out there, Forest. I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he rumbled and held his daughter pressing his forehead against hers. “I know I did.”
Rainbow sniffled and rubbed her nose against his neck gently.
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Live. Live and find yourself. I’m sure that, if you keep going, you will.” He hugged his daughter again. “And that it’ll be worth everything you’ve ever done.”
The words resonated within me.
“In my world, there is a saying. It’s by a very famous musician called John Lennon.” He closed his eyes and smiled. “‘Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.’”
“It’s… beautiful.”
He nodded. “It is.”
Then he hugged his daughter tighter.
At that, I smiled, nodded once, and backed out the door. I watched the two of them together as the door shut and I stood there for a moment wondering about what it would be like to have a someone love you like that. Brian gave up his life on Earth for his baby girl. That was something that I had to admire about him.
“Goodbye,” I whispered, turned, and left.
Pinkie was sitting with Spike on a bench when I exited the hospital. The two of them saw me and waved. I slowly walked over to them and plopped myself down next to Pinkie on the other end of the bench.
“How is he?”
“Awake.”
“Oh? Maybe I ought to say hello,” Spike wondered stroking his chin.
“Not now. Rainbow’s in there with him,” I replied and sighed. “They’re… you know…”
Spike nodded. “He’s been steadily getting worse. Doctors… well, they’re not optimistic. I don’t know if they’ve given him much time, but it’s not long.”
“I can’t imagine what Rainbow is going through,” I muttered and felt an overwhelming amount of sadness for her.
Pinkie’s hair deflated slightly as she looked down. “I don’t want to lose a friend. I don’t want Rainbow to feel alone again.”
Spike planted his claw on her head. “But… we all have to go one day.”
“I know. It’s just… really, really, really-really-really-really-really-really-really-really sad when that happens.”
“Tell me about it,” I whispered trying to suppress the memories of loss from when my grandmother passed away.
“The weather isn’t helping the mood either!” Spike suddenly exclaimed. “The weather team are behind on clearing the clouds with all this sleeping sickness going around. They can’t seem to catch up with their duties without all of them working together.”
I looked up at the overcast sky. “I didn’t really notice, y’know.”
“It’s kinda irritating that the pegasi can’t do anything without Rainbow. I know it’s hard, but couldn’t they just wait? Yesterday the mayor asked Rainbow to help clear the clouds, but that’s not fair with her dad in the hospital like this.”
“Yeah. Rainbow needs to stay with her dad.”
“Right?” Spike replied angrily, his ire directed towards the other pegasi,“I think Rainbow’s been patient enough so far, but she’ll have to do it sooner or later or there might be some really bad effects.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “They’re jure clouds.”
He pointed towards Ponyville proper, then I realized he was pointing beyond that towards the Everfree. “The clouds from the Everfree are not like those formed in other parts of Equestria. It’s getting far worse and more of these kinda clouds are moving across. If the pegasi don’t do their job, it’s going to get dangerous.”
“Dangerous how?”
“Many reasons. If you can’t see, how can you fly? If it gets thicker, the clouds where the pegasi live will get heavy and start to rain. That would mean the clouds would get too thin to support the structures and they’ll fall out of the sky. And, worse of all, an all-out out-of-control super-storm.”
“Don’t worry,” Pinkie said, smacking Spike’s thigh with a loud slap. A part of me wondered how that was possible with a hoof, but I chose to ignore it. “Aunt Pinkie will protect you.”
The dragon gave her a dry expression. “Thanks, Pinkie.”
“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” she replied.
I smiled. The Element of Laughter certainly lived up to her name. It was hard not to crack a smile on our faces with how happy she seemed.
“So… what now?” I asked.
“Maybe we can go visit the Cakes,” Pinkie suggested. “I wish I could throw you a party, but…”
“It’ll just be the three of us?”
“Yeah. And it’d be strange to not invite my best friends,” she said and looked back at the hospital. “And with Brian…”
“Yeah. I don’t feel like celebrating either, even if it’s a farewell party.”
Pinkie sighed and smiled weakly as she looked in front of her, her happy mood evaporating almost as quickly as it had come. Spike and I exchanged glances over her head. “What’s Dashie gonna do when he’s gone?”
Her hair deflated a little more again. Here I was with my ‘problems’ and yet these ponies were going through something far worse. I was leaving. I would be gone, but I’d still be alive. Brian was going to die, and there was no fix for that. In the slim chance I could plead and beg, I might be able to come back, but from where Brian was going to go there was no return.
Or was there?
“The wishing stone.”
“What?” Spike asked.
“The wishing stone! I can… I can use it! Why can’t I use it?”
“Forest, we’ve been over this, but you can’t use it. You’re allergic to magic. Remember?”
“Yes, yes, but I don’t have to use it. You or Pinkie can. You can wish and make Brian better!”
“I thought he was against that?”
“Fuck him,” I muttered as loudly as I dared.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Listen, if Princess Celestia changed him into a pony, and he is able to get wings and stuff, then if he can spend some more time with his daughter I think he’ll be okay with it. Anyway, we don’t have to make that choice. Let him do it. I’ll give you the stone and you can go from there!”
“Yeah. You know what, you’re right! Why should we listen to him? But I thought that you had to make that wish, Forest.”
“You’re missing the point!” I retorted. “If that’s the case, then Princess Celestia can make stones like this! That should be easy. Get her to make one herself for Brian!”
Spike jumped up. “Why didn’t we think of that before?”
“I know!”
“I can send her a letter right now!”
“I know! Let’s do it!”
“Wait, you guys.” We both looked at the speaker. Pinkie looked at us with pity in her eyes. “It won’t work. Changing him into a pony won’t stop whatever is happening.”
“What about curing it?”
“Same thing, Forest.” At that, Spike sat down, “Magic can’t solve everything. If it could, nopony would ever get sick. Or die.”
“You mean…”
“Even if you wished for something, like curing Brian, there’s a high chance it won’t work. There are just a few things that can’t change. Like wishing to become an all-powerful alicorn to replace our princesses. Or taking control of the sun. Or whatever. There are rules that work around magic. Yes, magic can be bent and stuff, but there are rules. The stronger you are with magic, the more you can bend those rules, but the fact is, the rules are there in the first place. You cannot change the rules. Nopony can.”
I sat down next to him. “Oh,” I replied, not sure what to say. Most of what Spike said went over my head anyway.
All three of us sat next to each other on the bench staring at the hospital entrance.
Still. “Would it be worth the risk?”
“What?”
“You know. To just use the stone. If it doesn’t work, then so be it. At least we tried.”
“You’d be wasting a stone.” Spike put a claw to his chin and scratched it. “Bad phrasing.”
I smiled a little at that. “I know what you mean.”
“You know Brian. We all know that he’d be really angry if we do this to him and what if he gets hurt in the process? I remember him when he lost his wings, Forest. It was horrible. The pain he went through… I’ll never forget it.” Spike shuddered at the memory.
“It was pretty bad,” Pinkie nodded slowly.
“The point is that we have to find another way to save him that doesn’t involve hurting himself or others. I’m sure that our doctors and staff will figure it out. We’ve just got to wait for a bit and trust them.”
I looked up at him. He hadn’t seen the state of Brian. If he did, he probably wouldn’t have said that with such overwhelming confidence. I stole a glance at Pinkie, and she looked at me with a look that was surprisingly mature for her. A look that stated that it wasn’t her that was in denial, but the young dragon in front of us. A part of me wanted to tell him the hard truth, but then again I didn’t know how to approach the subject. How can you tell someone that they are wrong when the end-result is so catastrophically sad? Is a painful truth better than a painless lie? Is not saying anything a lie?
But he was my best friend. And, as a friend, at least as how I understood it, being clear and transparent, while painful and horrible, if you are true friends, then it can last. Whether or not your friend accepts it is another thing, but at least you said your piece.
“Spike. Listen. About Brian…” I began and this time I rubbed the back of my head feeling my mane, like some weird mohawk, “It’s not good.”
“I know, Forest.”
“No, I don’t think you do. It’s worse than before. I just saw him. He’s really weak and there’s all these tubes and things. I don’t know when you last saw him, but it’s not good at all.”
“I saw him yesterday, Forest. I know. Trust me.”
“Oh.”
“But thanks for telling,” he looked up at me. “At least you’re not sugarcoating it. I appreciate your blunt honesty. That’s why you’re my best friend.”
I smiled and looked up at the cloudy sky. “When it rains it pours.”
“You can certainly say that again,” Spike sighed in affirmation.
“Let’s go.”
We walked on in relative silence. Without the hustle-bustle of the market, it was eerily silent. A few pairs of ponies did walk around, but for the most part the town was as it was from earlier. We made a beeline for Sugarcube Corner, our hooves clopping gently on the ground. When we arrived, Spike paused in front and rubbed his neck.
“What’s wrong?”
“I left my bits at home,” he muttered. “I’ll head back over to the library.”
“Nah, I got you,” I offered.
Pinkie smiled. “It’s fine. I’ll cover you guys. Let’s just spend time together for now.”
We both looked at the mare and nodded. “Sounds good, Pinkie.”
“Yeah.”
When we walked in, there was a fairly large number of ponies inside. Not overwhelming, but a lot more than what we saw on the outside. It was warm, happy, and bright. Mrs Cake was serving something to a couple young fillies and saw us. She waved and we walked over.
“Thank goodness! We’re a little underhoofed! Think you could help out? Think you boys could help out?” she asked.
Pinkie opened her mouth to say something, but Mrs Cake held her hoof up before she could proceed from there.
“No, Pinkie. You’ve worked hard enough as it is and you need time to rest up from your stay in the hospital. There’s enough help now with the boys and you can help out by sitting down over there and making sure that the twins are okay.”
I smiled at that. “They out?”
“Yes, they are. The Sleeping Sickness hit them this morning, so they won’t be up for a while. Otherwise they’d be helping us. Also, I think that my husband got it too. He hasn’t come out of the basement since I sent him down an hour ago.”
“Do you want me to check?” I offered.
“Please.”
I left Spike to help deal with the customers and headed to the back where the door to the basement was. I pushed it open noted the long ramp down to the bottom. How had I never come here before? I walked down and spotted Mr Cake lying over some stacks of flour. He had loaded a small wheelbarrow and had left it there. From the look of things, he loaded the last bag of flour, went for another and promptly fell asleep. I decided to bring out the wheelbarrow before going back for him. Something I learnt from the fair. Take things as much as you can so as to be more efficient.
“He out?” Mrs. Cake asked when I wheeled the wheelbarrow into the kitchen.
“Eeyup. Should I leave him down there?”
“Do you mind taking him upstairs to our bedroom with Spike?”
“Um… sure, I guess.”
With that, Spike and I carried the sleeping husband out of the basement and brought him up to the bedroom. On our way back, I saw Pinkie checking on the twins. She spotted us and waved quietly before tip-toeing (tip-hoofing?) over through the door and leaving it slightly ajar.
“Why are we being quiet?”
Pinkie opened her mouth to reply, thought about it, then giggled to herself. “Sorry, force of habit. Guess they’ll always be babies to me.”
“Yeah, but they’re not babies anymore, and if making noise will wake them up, shouldn’t we be louder then? Plus, they have Sleeping Sickness!” Spike said, shouting the last few words into the room for good measure.
“I know!” I exclaimed just as loudly.
Pinkie rolled her eyes, but laughed along as we all headed back downstairs.
“All okay? I thought I heard some shouting,” Mrs. Cake called up from the kitchen, concern in her voice.
“We were trying to wake the twins,” Pinkie confessed.
“Oh. Well, good luck!” Mrs. Cake’s called back, the concern vanishing from her voice.
For some time I actually forgot about having to go. I think that, while working, my mind was focused on trying to get the orders right and everything about what was going on for that moment seemed small. Back on Earth, I never felt anything like this while working. Going to work felt like a burden. An errand. But here, despite the physical nature of what I did, it felt good. Even fun.
I contemplated what that meant. Was I someone who liked working in a cafeteria? Was I someone who belonged in a restaurant or cafe setting? Or perhaps it was the company. Perhaps it was my friends that made working there actually enjoyable, and the way that I was treated.
“Forest?”
I looked at the speaker. Mrs. Cake stared at me with concern. “Y-yes?”
“You’ve been standing there for a while all spaced out. You okay, dearie?”
“Oh, he does that frequently. Moreso now than before,” Spike added as he walked by me giving me a look that said he wasn’t happy with his lack of not knowing what was going on with me. “And nopony knows why.”
“You’re a strange colt, Forest.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied stupidly.
“Well, as long as you’re sure you’re okay,” Mrs. Cake replied hesitantly.
“Oh, I’m fine. As Spike said, it happens quite often,” I replied with resignation in my voice.
Mrs. Cake didn’t look convinced. “I don’t know…”
Pinkie walked in and took out something from the oven.
“Didn’t I tell you that you have to rest?” Mrs. Cake admonished the pink filly.
She merely giggled at that. “It’s okay. Baking helps me relax.”
“Oh, you always say that!”
“Because it’s always true!”
They both had a good laugh before it was cut short with Mrs. Cake stating: “No. You rest yourself either by staying out of the kitchen or taking your friends out of here. Anyway, with this I should be good for the rest of the day.”
“Okee dokee lokee,” Pinkie said and walked next to me and nodded.
“Um… Mrs. Cake,” I began slowly.
“Hm?”
“I just wanted to tell you… that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and that it has been a real pleasure being involved with your family. Thank you for helping me out…”
“That’s okay, Forest. It is always a pleasure. What’s wrong? You sound like you’re leaving.”
“I am.”
“Oh? I didn’t know.”
“I just decided this morning, actually. There are… things I remember and stuff. I need to sort out my life,” I muttered the last part as quietly as I could.
Mrs. Cake watched me and then walked around the counter and wrapped her hooves around my neck and pulled me into a warm hug. I was taken a little aback, but the feeling passed a moment later and I embraced her as well.
“We’ll all miss you very much, Forest. You will be sure to visit.”
“I… promise to try,” I replied truthfully.
“I’ll hold you to that. Now what’ll I tell the twins when they wake up! Their favorite uncle. Gone!”
I laughed a little at that. “I’m sure they’ll manage.”
“Oh yes, we all will, but ‘managing’ our feelings isn’t healthy. You must return. Okay?”
“Okay.”
With that, we all left.
“Crystal?” Spike asked pointing to the hotel across the street.
“Crystal.”
“Coming Pinkie?”
“Of course!” Pinkie said. “Crystal and I are friends now.”
As we entered, the little bell jingled. We walked in and Crystal saw us from the reception and waved us on over. “How are you all doing? Where were you, Forest? You missed all the fun! Ponies falling asleep all over the place! It was pure chaos!”
“Cloudsdale.”
“Cloudsdale? Wow. Okay. I didn’t know you were out of town.”
I reiterated my long story to her about how I wound up stuck beneath some heavy boxes and got myself dragged up all the way to the cloud city.
Crystal laughed in that obnoxious nasal way that she did all through. I cringed a little bit, but laughed along with her. It was a funny story, if you censor the parts about the anger fits, sudden rage moments, and fainting spells. Suffice to say, I was quite happy to not have had another one of those episodes yet.
“Well, I’m here to say goodbye, actually.”
Crystal’s laughter died in her throat. “What?”
“I’m leaving. For some time.”
“What? Why?”
“There are things I have to do.” I shrugged. “You’ve got so many great friends here in town now, so you don’t need me.”
“I know, but I still am a little surprised that you’re leaving so suddenly. Especially now with you and Twilight…”
I blushed. “I know, but I can’t wait and there are things I have to get done.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Leaving her when she’s not awake? That’s what a coward would do.”
“I know, but I’ve got to go. If there was a way out of… this, I’d take it. I’d take it without a second guess, but I can’t wait. It has to be tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Tonight.”
Crystal shook her head sadly. “Aw. That’s so sad. I hope you’ll come back soon.”
“Me too.”
I hugged her tightly and, as she let go of our embrace, she held he at arm's length (or leg’s length? I dunno). She stared intently at me and then nodded to herself and let go.
“What?”
“Just memorizing your face. Do you want to know something strange?”
“Um… sure.”
“I have this uncanny ability to memorize another pony’s face. I just… remember them. If I’ve seen them before, I can usually recall. Same with you, but today there’s something different.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Your eyes. Last time, they were brown. Like your coat. Today, they have little flecks of green in there. Hazel. I can’t believe I missed it before. I didn’t know you had hazel eyes. In fact, I’m pretty sure you didn’t. Strange. Maybe a side-effect to the Sleeping Sickness?” she offered.
“I… don’t think so.”
“Well, it is you Forest. I can tell. I can tell if you were a Changeling, and you are not.”
“You… thought I was?”
She shrugged. “Can’t be too careful these days, and Twilight’s been telling everypony she can that she suspects you are. But if you are or not doesn’t matter to me. You helped me learn to be accepted in this town and make friends. You could be a Changeling, but I wouldn’t care. You were the only one that actually tried to be my friend and I can’t hate you for that no matter what you are.”
I smiled sadly and nodded. “You’ve got a kind heart, Crystal. Don’t let anypony tell you otherwise.”
“I won’t.”
Again, we said our goodbyes and hugged. Outside I waited as Pinkie closed the door.
“It’s nice to be able to talk to Crystal. She’s a good pony.”
“Indeed.”
“So, where to now?” Pinkie asked, bouncing in place.
I sighed and gulped. “Applejack.”
“Okay, this way!” Pinkie started bouncing off in one direction.
“This way,” Spike said and pointed in the complete opposite direction.
“Oh yeah!” Pinkie said, and stopped in mid-air, turned, and hopped the way Spike pointed.
“H-how does she do that!” I asked.
At that remark, Spike just raised his palms and shook his head. The universal sign for ‘I have no clue whatsoever’.
“Can’t I get an explanation?” I asked.
“Well, Twilight has studied Pinkie’s extraordinary abilities for years,” Spike said falling in step beside me as we followed the bouncing mare. “Conclusion? Unexplainable. I ought to know, I helped her do most of the different experiments and stuff.”
“Experiments?” I asked, concern lacing my question.
Spike shrugged. “Normal stuff. Measuring her MA count, her alignment with certain leylines. Stuff like that. Nothing really worked out.”
“Leylines?”
“Like I said: magic stuff.”
“Oh. Still doesn’t explain anything,” I muttered and trudged along.
“Honestly, I don’t understand it either,” Spike confided and we both chuckled lightly.
It wasn’t long before we got to where we needed to go. The entrance to the Apple Farm was shrouded by a heavier fog than the rest of town due to its proximity to one of the borders of the Everfree Forest. I remember seeing it the boundary with the fence built alongside the trees not far from the Club House, which we had passed along the way. Pinkie was bounching through the fog as if it were nothing, but I kept thinking I saw shadows in the trees of the dense forest. It wasn’t long before the familiar signpost and light were seen.
“Is it me or did it just get a lot darker here all of a sudden?” I asked out loud.
“No, not just you. I’m getting the creeps.” Spike shuddered despite himself and walked onwards trying hard to ignore the forest. It really looked like the place was billowing the fog out of its roots for some reason.
Standing at the entrance I looked once more behind me and, when I was satisfied that nothing was there, followed quickly after Spike. We headed towards a small light that was on the porch barely visible through the thickening fog that was spreading. An eerie blanket of the vapour covered the lawn and seemed to end and slowly ebb around the house, or under it. Pinkie bounced through unabashed, but I was still hesitant and took somewhat cautionary steps as I walked. Whether it was because I didn’t want to fall down some unseen ditch, or perhaps there was something inside the haze, I didn’t know.
“Come on, slowpokes!” Pinkie called from the front door and waved us in. She turned and knocked. The large burly figure of Big Mac appeared in the doorframe and he stood aside to let Pinkie through.
“Comin’?” he called out.
“Yeah. Be right there,” Spike replied and walked across the lawn with me following close behind.
“That was terrifying,” I pointedly said out loud.
Spike was confused. He turned his head to look at me. “What was?”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard Big Mac say something other than ‘eeyup’.”
Spike couldn’t contain himself and we both entered the residence on a much lighter note.
Granny Smith was sitting by the fireplace and rocking her chair slowly. “Forest! I had a feelin’ you was a-comin’.”
“You did?”
“Rightly so! Somethin’ ‘bout this dag-nabbit fog screams it. Dunno. Maybe just the years catchin’ up, but I reckon you’re not here entirely on a social call. Am I right?”
I stood there dumbfounded. “Y-yes. But… how?”
“Just somethin’. It ain’t right. Somethin’. Not sure what though. Not sure, but somethin’ like this gets to be known over the years, y’know. I gets to see the future, a lil’ bit, or maybe I just know but forgot why. And, perhaps, maybe my time’s a-comin’.”
“Now, Granny, don’tcha be talkin’ like that,” Big Mac said and placed a steaming mug next to her rocking chair on a simple sturdy table. When had he gotten it?
Granny took it and sipped on it loudly. “Macky, I ain’t a filly nor foal. My time will come soon. We all know that. It ain’t night outside, and we had to turn on the porch light, for Celestia’s sake! If that ain’t a sign of something bads a-comin’, then I don’t know what will. No offense to Princess Luna, but I grew up when the night’s tweren’t friendly like now. I remember why we feared the dark. It wasn’t that long ago for me, and I’ve lived too long. Far too long.”
I looked at Spike. He was fidgeting fiercely.
Shit! Is he really going to? Now? I asked myself.
“Um… Granny… Big Mac… there’s something I need to tell you two.”
I watched him. He sighed and explained, with as much positiveness as possible, about Applebloom leaving. Big Mac’s body did not respond, but his eyes terrified me. Something in them burned with a fire that I didn’t know he had. The looks he showed me when I was ‘courting’ Applejack were nothing compared to the raw fury I saw in that ‘gentle’ giant's eyes.
Granny nodded slowly and sighed. She turned her head slightly towards Big Mac. “Told ya.”
“Granny…”
“It ain’t her, Macky. It ain’t. I treated her fair. Gave her the benefit of the doubt, but in the end, I knew. I knew. It ain’t her, Macky. And ain’t nopony gonna tell me diff’rent.”
I couldn’t help but interject. “I’m sorry, but what?”
“Granny thinks that that Bloom ain’t Bloom,” Big Mac said. “I don’t rightly agree.”
“I raised the three of you,” Granny said without missing a beat. “I know who my granddaughters are, and that… fake ain’t her!”
“Granny…”
“An Apple would never, ever, ever walk out, ‘specially without sayin’ goodbye. And when you know that one of them probably won’t be around the next time you grace us with your presence, you should at least have the courtesy in sayin’ goodbye!” Granny shouted, her anger getting the best of her. “Family is the most important thing in the world to us Apples. It is what we stand for. It ain’t taught to an Apple. It’s built-in. We are born knowin’ just how important family is. If that doesn’t make you pause, then you ain’t an Apple. And that Bloom, sure, I grew to love her like I love her friends, but deep down she ain’t my Bloom. I don’t know what happened to her out there, but it changed her too much, Macky. Too much.”
She took another sip from her mug.
“Or maybe I’m upset. And old. Too old. Too old and too tired. And too upset.”
Big Mac walked over and hugged his grandmother. I felt slightly out of place, but remained where I was standing next to Spike. He looked absolutely broken. I guess he never expected that kind of reaction. To be honest, nor did I. So we both stood there next to each other not sure what to do or say. Where the hell was Pinkie Pie when we needed her?
“Psst!”
We turned to see her in the landing at the bottom of the stairs trying to hide behind the banister railings.
“This way!”
We took the opportunity to vanish up the stairs.
“Wow. I never knew Granny could be like that.” Spike shuddered despite himself.
“What was she talking about? She seemed to think that Applebloom isn’t her. Is that strange?”
“The coincidence is uncanny. I was just saying that this morning,” Spike muttered to himself, stroking his chin. “Her leaving is really, really out of character for Applebloom. That’s more like something Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle would do.”
I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t ‘there’ for that conversation, and despite being the best of friends, I knew that Spike wouldn’t have liked me listening in without letting him know. I knew that much about the guy, which says a lot seeing as we’ve only known each other for quite a short spell.
Pinkie led the way towards Applejack’s room, I stopped at the top of the landing and peered into the room where I spent my first couple of nights. The guestroom was exactly the same. I don’t know why I was expecting anything to be different, but it strangely made me feel a little nostalgic for some reason. Perhaps a fleeting feeling of hopelessness. Knowing that what this cozy space represented could never be part of my world anymore. I was never going to come back to this nook, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
“What’s up?” Spike asked when I didn't move after a few minutes.
I shrugged. “Just looking at something.”
He waited. I don’t know why he did, but it made me want to say more. His presence just comforted me as I let the memories of the recent past waft over me and allow myself to try and take away a semblance of this place. My unintentional first home here. A powerful sense of nostalgia made my eyes burn.
“It… it reminds me of a feeling,” I began. Spike did not say anything but stood behind me silently. “A feeling that I’ve missed for so long, you know? When you have that moment in your heart, that feeling that you’ve been here before, somehow, or something.”
“You’re not talking about this place, are you Forest?”
I sighed. “No.”
I felt his claw on my shoulder as he gave me a comforting shake. “We all have places like that, Forest. Places that we miss and, in some way, want to go back to. A special moment that they’d love to go back to. Celestia knows that I’ve got a few. But looking back isn’t healthy because that will never come again. But you know something? That’s okay! It’s okay if you can’t go back to the place you came from because it keeps that idea in your head. And, in truth, if you ever went back, I don’t think it’d be the same anyway.”
I nodded. “Makes sense, I guess.”
“Keep moving forward, but never forget the past,” Spike said and he let go of my shoulder. “Never forget the steps you took that brought you here.”
I stared at Spike’s face for a long moment. That was an amazing statement. “Never forget…”
“You guys coming or what?” Pinkie yelped from further up the hallway. “Applejack’s over here!”
“Good ol’ Pinkie,” I muttered. “Always knows when to break the mood.”
“Those words have never been truer than at this moment,” Spike quipped and we shared a lighthearted laugh as I shut the door to the guest room. It felt like I was finally coming to terms with what was going to happen. Like I released something from inside me. That I was beginning to set myself free.
Or perhaps I was overthinking things and closing the door made the pain of the past go away, hidden behind that wooden barrier.
Whatever the case, I was grateful for Pinkie’s lack of tact.
Applejack’s room was a lot girlier than I would have guessed. It was funny how I had actually never been in her room despite staying just down the hall. I peered around and noted the pictures on the walls, on the dresser, and on the study in the corner. A few stuffed animals lingered on what I would venture to call a small sofa near a window with the sunlight pouring through it. A large wooden bed with, obviously, the carvings of apples decorated the sides. On it lay Applejack breathing lightly. On one end I noticed two portraits of two ponies that I hadn’t seen before and knew right away that they were Applejack’s parents.
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to just wander in like this, Pinks?” Spike asked.
“Silly-billy! Of course! If it wasn’t okay, Mac and Granny would’ve told us so!”
“I guess…” Spike allented with some trepidation. “But they were busy with… other things.”
While he talked, I moved to the bed and stood staring at the sleeping mare in front of me. She was lying on her back, he face upwards and I watched as her chest slowly went up and down with an even beat with every breath she took. I don’t know how long I stood there for, but after a moment I turned to see Spike and Pinkie looking at me.
“What?”
Spike shrugged. “Aren’t you gonna same something? Like what you did with Twilight?”
I rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah. I guess so.”
I leaned in closer to Applejack and watched her. She looked so peaceful. Calm. Quiet. I put my hoof on her head and moved the mane from her cheek and gave it a quick peck. “Goodbye.”
The mare sighed, and moved her head away making a series of cute noises with her mouth and lips before falling she settled back again with the steady rhythm and breathing that comes with sound sleeping. After a moment she turned away from me and pulled the covers along with her nuzzling the pillow, her blond mane covering her face from me.
I smiled and turned to leave.
“That it?” Spiked asked.
I nodded.
“I dunno. That seemed quite anti-climatic, to be honest.”
“Anti-climatic? It’s not like we can wake her up and explain,” I replied. “Besides… I don’t think I could say goodbye to her, or Twilight, if they were awake. In other words, their sleeping is actually a blessing for me.”
“I see.”
We left and headed downstairs and I paused to see Granny sitting alone sipping her mug slowly and staring at the fireplace with an expression that could freeze ice over. That glare sent chills down my spine, and I wasn’t even the subject of her ire. I looked over to the kitchen and could see Big Mac rummaging around in the kitchen. I walked in, with Spike in tow, and he turned to see us as we paused at the kitchen’s entrance.
“Said your goodbye?” Mac asked.
“Eeyup,” I intoned, then gulped. Did I really just do that in front of the Big Mac? “Wait. How’d you know?”
The stallion smirked. “Just a feelin’. I s’pose yer not goin’ with Bloom, then?”
“Who? Me? No. I’m going someplace else.”
“I see. Well, it’s been a pleasure. Sorry things didn’t work out between you and AJ.”
For the briefest moment I actually thought he meant it, but then again, perhaps it was my imagination getting the better of me. He gave a silent nod, turned away, and I nodded to his back and turned and walked out. Spike followed a moment later and stood next to me on the porch staring at the fog.
“Yeesh. It’s like a lake of smoke out there,” He muttered. “What now?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. I’ve said bye. Only thing left to do is… go.”
Spike nodded. “How are you heading out? On the train?”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll be walking.”
“Probably faster that way,” Spike said and we both laughed.
My jaw quivered. This was it. I was about to say goodbye to my best friend, and my eyes stung. They stung fiercely. I swallowed.
“You’ll write?” Spiked asked.
“I’ll try,” I lied.
“You coming back?”
“Maybe one day,” I lied again.
He shrugged. “You came here out of the blue, and you’re going away the same way you came. It’s like… it’s like you’re a ghost.”
“Hey! Don’t jinx me!” I pouted.
Again, we shared a light laugh.
“Wow. This is a lot harder than I thought it’d be,” Spike confessed.
“What’ll you do now?”
“Probably hang out with Sweetie Belle. Maybe we’ll go see a movie or something,” he stated. “Then I’ll wait in the hospital for Twilight to wake up. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her that you left without waiting for her to wake up. She’ll be really mad about that, so I gotta make sure that she’s going to be okay.”
“Please do. And tell her that I’m sorry it had to be this way. But I really got to go.”
“Really? Really, Forest? I mean, really? I know you’re saying that you do, but do you really, really have to go like this? You really going to disappear from our lives this way?”
“Stop.” I looked at the dragon. “It’s hard enough for me to do this on my own. There is a lot of things and--”
I suppressed the pain in my body as best I could and shuddered. My eyes started to see spots and I gritted my teeth as I waited for the ache to subside. The attacks were getting shorter and fiercer.
“I have to fix me.”
“Fix you?”
“Long story short, I don’t have a choice.”
“Can’t Twilight help?”
“No.”
“Princesses?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
Spike ground his teeth. “I know you’re sure, but you’re not the expert in magic here. So, I’m telling you that you can’t make that decision on your own!”
“Stop! Don’t you understand? I don’t want to go. I really don’t!” I shouted. “But I have to and you’re making it hard for me to do it!”
“You’re my best friend, Forest!” Spike shouted back. “Of course I’m going to resist! I’m going to make it harder than anything else to make you stay! You belong here! With us! You’re the only pony that I really can talk to here besides Twilight and her friends!”
“And Sweetie.”
“And Sweetie.”
“And Scootaloo.”
“And Scootaloo.”
“And…”
“Look, I know that I have a lot of good friends here. I’m not saying that I’m alone, or that I don’t have friends. I’m saying that I don’t have many friends that I can really talk to and you’re my best friend. You’re the only friend I got I can call that!” Spike seized my shoulders. “Don’t you get it?”
I turned away from him. “I guess…”
“I trust you with my life, Forest.”
“And I trust you with mine, Spike. But I can’t trust the lives of everypony. Can I? Could you?” I placed a hoof on his hand and smiled gently. “It’s that serious, Spike. It’s really that dangerous. I can’t really get into it, but it’s really that bad. If I stay, it’ll put a lot of ponies in danger.”
He looked at me doubtfully and a moment later he sighed and shrugged. “You’re a bad liar, Forest, but I’ll pretend I believe you.”
I raised my eyebrow. “You think I’m a bad liar?”
“Terrible! Worse than AJ.”
“That bad, huh?”
We both laughed. “I’ll buy your fib. At least it’ll help me come to terms with you leaving.”
“Thanks, Spike.”
He went forward, stopped, then hugged me tightly. “This is your home. You’ll always, always be welcome here. If you ever need a place to come back to, you know where to go.”
My nose stung again. “I-I know. You don’t have to tell me twice.”
“What? You crying you big baby?” He asked as he let go and stood up to his full height.
The tears flowed down, matting the fur on my cheeks. “L-looks who’s talking, you big baby.”
Spike wiped his eyes. “Something got in my eyes, is all. Not crying. Think… think it might be the rain.”
“Yeah. Rain.” I looked around at the fog swelling around us. “Rain kinda sucks.”
“Yeah, these pegasi gotta go and work when they wake up,” Spike said as he took another step down from the porch and was now standing on the path. The fog was up to his shin as he walked away. “Think… think I’ll go make a complaint. Make it official.”
“Yeah.”
“Before they close,” Spike said as he started to walk away. He pointed up at the sky. “I mean, it looks like night now it’s so dark.”
“It does,” I said, choking back a sob.
Spike paused. He had heard that from my throat and I could see his shoulders shaking. He was fighting it too.
“Goodbye, Forest.”
“Goodbye, Spike. Thank you.”
He turned his head slightly.
I looked at him, my heart feeling that it would shatter at any moment. “Thank you for being such a great friend. My best friend. I will never forget you.”
He smiled at that. “I know.”
We both laughed, letting it fill the void that each step he took as he went further and further away. Even after he had gone from my sight, I could still make out his laughter as he walked away back towards town and away from me.
Away from my life.
Pinkie put a hoof on my shoulder. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I sighed truthfully, wiping my nose.
We walked together in silence as we exited Sweet Apple Acres and went towards town. In the distance I could see Spike and almost wished he had turned around to see me once more while at the same time I was glad he didn’t. I saw the last of him disappear around the first set of houses along the road that would eventually reach the crossroads where Sugarcube was and beyond that the library and the hospital beyond that on the other end of town. I could picture him hesitating in front of the library, not sure whether to stop in or just go to the hospital. I could hear him muttering to himself about what Twilight would say and how he’d respond. I could picture it all in my mind.
And I couldn’t help but smile. I was sure that Spike could predict my every movement as well. How he would understand me painstakingly trying to take my mind off of what I was about to do with every little excuse.
Then Pinkie and I turned away from town and headed in the opposite direction towards the Everfree, through the ever thickening fog and towards Fluttershy’s home.
“You wanna say bye to Shy-shy?” Pinkie asked when we saw the lights of her cottage through the gloomy atmosphere. The fog had really started to get thicker and thicker here.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know her, Pinks.”
She giggled when I said her nickname. “Well, okay. But I still wanna say hi.”
I followed her and approached the door. Pinkie knocked and a voice in the inside called out: “W-w-who’s there?”
“Hey Fluttershy! It’s Pinkie… and Forest!” she added a moment later.
The door opened slightly and I could barely make the shy mare out behind the door. She opened it a bit more when she spotted and recognized Pinkie.
“C-come in,” she said in a half-whisper.
“Thanks, Shy-shy!”
Pinkie bounded inside and promptly seemed to vanish into the kitchen, but a moment later appeared next to me with a huge grin on her face. “Relax, Forest!”
I yelped in surprise, but smiled. “Sure thing. How many times do I gotta tell you to not scare me like that.”
“Don’t be such a big baby,” she replied in an almost motherly tone. “A little scare never hurt nopony.”
I laughed lightly. I would miss her and her unusual antics. I sat down awkwards at the table while Fluttershy walked over to her couch -- the same one where I slept on in what seemed like another lifetime ago. On the table next to the sofa was a book opened to a page where a warm cup of something was wafting light vapor trails into the air.
“Oh, would you like some tea?” Fluttershy asked.
I shook my head. “No thanks.”
“Um… so, what brings you here?” she asked. “Not that I mind… I mean… I’m just…”
She mumbled on and seemed to working herself up to a panic. I opened my mouth to say something when Pinkie barged in with a slice of cake on a plate and planted in on the table next to me. It was red, a usual sign of some berry flavor infused within. I recognized it instantly as one of Pinkie’s creations.
“I think what Fluttershy was going to say is that she wants to make you feel welcome and that she didn’t want to make you feel like you weren’t welcome here, but she is super awkward when trying to make conversations happen, so it’s up to her friends like me to sometimes help her get those words out, but I keep telling her that she shouldn’t feel that way, but she doesn’t listen to her aunty Pinkie, so I…”
I tuned her out after that and looked at Fluttershy and rolled my eyes. That brought a grateful smile to her face and she tucked her legs under her and picked up the book and started to read.
It was in English, I think, or whatever the equivalent was, but there was no title on it.
“Um… so, what book is that?” I asked trying to make conversation.
Fluttershy’s face turned pink, like Pinkie’s coat. “I-i-i-it’s a… good book.”
“Oh?” I turned and, using my hoof, picked up small desert spoon and took a small slice of the cake and put it into my mouth. At once an explosion of strawberry and cream smashed my taste buds and I could barely suppress the ecstatic moan that wanted to come out. “What’s it about?”
“Oh, um, well, it’s about…” She tapered off, her face exploding into another shade of pink and red that almost resembled Big Mac’s coat.
“Oh? Is it that kind of book?” I asked, seeing her obvious embarrassment.
“Y-yes…” she whispered barely audibly.
“Mind if I took a look?” I asked.
She shook her head aggressively, making it quite obvious that she was not going to let me take a peek. Suffice to say that only heightened my curiosity.
“Not going to let me take a peek, eh?” I asked, a grin slowly spreading across my face.
Again she shook her head at that impossible speed.
“I see.”
She looked visible relieved, I guess believing that I wasn’t going to press the issue. Foolish mare.
I turned to the side. “Pinkie?”
Pinkie appeared like a ninja out of the shadows. “Hello!”
“Do you know the book Fluttershy’s holding?”
“You mean this book?” she asked, hoofing it over to me.
I heard a squeak from across the living room and spotted Fluttershy with a near replica of the book she held seconds before, but this time it was a blue book instead of the yellow one she had moments before. How did that pink mare do it?
“Yes, this one!” I said and turned to look at Fluttershy. Her poor face looked like it would explode.
I opened it and… was instantly disappointed. I looked up at her and tilted my head to one side. “This is what you’re embarrassed about?”
She ‘eeped’ and tried in vain to hide behind her mane.
I showed it to Pinkie. She also tilted her head in a near replica of my previous action and looked at Fluttershy. “This isn’t something you need to be embarrassed about. I mean, Rarity’s books are something to be embarrassed about, or some of the books in Twilight’s books in her secret bookshelf would and should make you--”
“Wait, Twilight has a secret bookshelf?”
“Yeah! In the basement behind the far wall. You need a special spell to open it, but it’s got all sorts of embarrassing books in there. Some of them written by Twilight herself!”
I was regretting leaving more and more with this new information. I smiled sadly inwardly. “Next time I’m in Ponyville, I’ll try to check it out.”
“I wouldn’t! Twilight wouldn’t want you to see what’s in there,” Pinkie declared matter-of-factly. “Besides, I can’t get into it either. I just know it’s there.”
“Then… how do you know it exists?” I asked.
She tilted her head in the opposite direction. “How what exists?”
“The secret bookshelf?” I asked, trying to jog her memory.
“What secret bookshelf?”
“The one Twilight has?” I prompted.
“Twilight has a secret library? Where?”
“Um… you know, down… in the… are you being serious right now? Are you just teasing me?” I asked, not sure how to react now.
Pinkie patted my head. “Oh, Forest. You can be so silly sometimes.”
I made a face, stole a glance at Fluttershy -- who shook her head as if she understood my unasked question, and got up and headed into the kitchen. Moments later, Pinkie followed and I was left alone in the living room to come to terms with what had just happened to me.
“What just happened?” I muttered to myself, unsure that what had transpired actually took place.
In a few moments, Pinkie and Fluttershy returned. They were giggling to themselves, and Fluttershy took the book back, which was lying on the table next to where she had sat minutes before, and placed her cup of tea on the stand. When had that book been put back? Pinkie never went near it when she left the living room.
Did she?
I scratched my head.
“Well, Shy-shy. We’re off! I’ll drop by a little later, okay?” Pinkie said and headed towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Fluttershy asked, a little more confidently than her usual shyness would allow her.
Before I could stop her, Pinkie opened her mouth and blurted: “Into the Everfree.”
I smacked my face with my hoof.
“You-you can’t go in there!” Fluttershy said with palpable concern. “It's not safe right now! That’s why I’m in here. Oh, I do hope that all the little critters in the forest are okay…”
Remembering how hard she took the loss of her rabbit, I refrained from stating the obvious in that the chances of a prey surviving with the current conditions felt quite remote. No point in frightening the poor mare.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Most forest critters usually know when to hide in their homes where it’s safe without you having to tell them.”
“Oh. I guess you’re right.”
She looked out the window and her face made a frown. She wasn’t obviously buying it and remained a little confused.
“Well, it has been a pleasure getting to know you,” I said, not sure if I really meant it considering that I didn’t know the yellow mare at all.
“S-same. And thanks,” she said as I stepped out her door. I turned my head to look at her. “Thanks for what you did. With Angel. I know I thanked you before, but I wanted to thank you again. T-thank you.”
“Um… you’re welcome?” I said and smiled. “Please don’t mention it.”
She nodded and I took a step outside and waited as Pinkie closed the door gently. She looked at me and we both walked on in silence. I saw now that my companion wasn’t her bouncy, hopping self. She was walking with me and looking a little down.
“The matter, Pinks?”
“Nothing. Just that I’m starting to really understand what’s going to happen when we get into the Everfree. I mean, this is going to be a real goodbye, right?”
I walked on, my heart aching again. Her expression, so pained, yet she was holding together. She was forcing herself to be strong and chipper because of me. I couldn’t help but admire the mare. She certainly was special.
“You wanna go and say bye to Zecora too?”
“Yes, I think so,” I said and followed as she led the way.
Even though Zecora lived quite close to the edge of the Everfree, my first run-in with those Timberwolves still was quite vivid in my memory and I could have sworn I spotted a few glowing eyes in the woods around us. I shuddered despite myself.
“You okay?” Pinkie asked as she slowed down to walk next to me.
“S-sure. Just… this place gives me the creeps,” I muttered and stopped and spun around in reflex as I thought something was grabbing me. It was only a low-hanging branch of a nearby tree and I sighed in relief.
We walked on in silence before I started to see a couple of floating lights through the foggy foliage. It looked like two huge fireflies with a small halo around each one formed from the light diffusing through the clouds. We walked right up and Pinkie gave it a very familiar knock.
“Hold on for just a minute or two,
This is no place for any like you!” She said as she opened the door and spied the two of us.
“Forest! Pinkie! Do come inside!
The fog is thick with wolves and Manticore Prides!” She let that sink in.
“Coming here like this was a foolish risk!
You silly mare and stallion, tsk, tsk.
And my surprise is quite peaked,
Might I inquire, whom do you seek?
“Um… we came to see you. Also, I don’t think you say ‘tsk’, you just click your tongue like so,” and I clicked my tongue.
“Nuh-uh. She doesn’t have to! I say ‘tsk’ all the time!” Pinkie countered.
“But it’s wrong!” I complained.
Pinkie shrugged. “Still gets the point across, right? So, how can it be wrong if it means the same thing whether your click or say it in the first place?”
“I… suppose,” I replied unsure of what to say. She was right, of course.
“I am glad you have come to my abode,
The weather is much worse than I forbode,
Even with the pegasi unable to attend the clouds,
This heavy veil of moisture aggressively shrouds,
Something unnatural is causing all of this,
And it is obvious that something is amiss.”
“Well, like what?” I asked.
“The fact that you are purposefully here is a sign,
And strange ley-lines have begun to align,
You came from the forest and back you may now go,
Your presence here isn’t just for show.
You know a lot more than you are letting on,
And before long I feel you will be gone.”
I turned to Pinkie, who looked at me with a somewhat shocked expression mixed with bemusement.
“Actually, that’s why I’m here. To say goodbye. I’m… going away. And I came into the Everfree to say bye to you.”
“Have you come to bid me farewell?
Or have you come to invoke that strange spell?
As I said, there are ley-lines forming here,
And its source is not far, I fear.
In the direction when you first came,
Is your heading going to be the same?”
I bit my lip. “Actually. Funny you should say that… but, yes, I am going that way…”
“I can hardly understand what is happening here.
My magic in this area isn’t strong, my dear.
At least you have come at just the right time,
And away you must go in the think of your prime.
I cannot understand what it is but I do know that you must go,
It has not been long, Forest, but there is one thing I do know.”
“Yeah?”
“Your presence here will be missed,
And staying back is something you must resist.
When you go back from whence you came,
Things were will never quite be the same.”
“Did I ever thank you for saving me back then?” I asked.
“I cannot recall the wording exact,
But you do not have to thank me for something like that.
I did what any else would do,
And I am glad that I got to meet a stallion like you.”
I didn’t know what to do at that point, so I made a lame bow and smiled awkwardly. “I guess this is it then?”
“I will follow both Pinkie and you from a distance away,
To ensure no harm may befall her on this hazy day.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “I’m sure that Pinkie will welcome the company.”
“I believe that as well,
But here you must no longer dwell.
Go, and do what you must,
We will all shall have to adjust.”
“I'm thankful,” I said.
“Despite your very best of intentions,
This is my gentlest form of an intervention.
I know not exactly what is going on,
But please do not be insulted when I say: ‘begone!’
I say this with the most purest form of goodwill,
Of me and my friends, don’t think us ill.”
“I won’t. I promise. Whatever happens now… well, I’m just glad that I met some great… um… ponies and zebras--”
“And dragons!”
“Well, dragon. I’ve only met the one,” I reminded my pink comrade.
“Oh yeah!”
“For what it’s worth, I understand your sentiment. Please know that I would never intentionally harm any of my friends,” I confessed.
“That I do understand with all my heart,
And it is through that love that I see you depart.
I am also one who will do what she must,
And I know that you will do what is right and just.”
“I’m grateful you think so highly of me.”
At that the zebra smiled and motioned to the door.
“Away you now go, and follow will I,
To ensure that Pinkie has company should she cry.”
Pinkie smiled. “Thanks, Zecora. I have a feeling I’m going to need it! A good shoulder to cry on is the best thing when you can’t smile. At least you can share the pain. Right, Forest?”
“Right, Pinkie.”
[Mood Music - Optional (some explicit lyrics)]
We both stared at each other for a long moment as we acknowledged what I was about to do. This was it. This was the point of no return, not there was a no-return-point to begin with. And Zecora had called it, which wasn’t as surprising as I thought it’d be. I guess it was something that I needed to hear, and it had somewhat helped get a bit easier hearing her say it. Now it was different. Now it was all on me. The longer I took to do it, the harder it would be for all those involved. And there was still the slight chance that Twilight and the others could wake up and try to stop me. That, I knew, couldn’t happen. They wouldn’t allow me to leave and no amount of pleading would get them to change their minds about that.
Pinkie walked over to the door and opened it for me to step through.
I wondered, in that moment, if this was what inmates on death row felt. A morbid comparison, perhaps. But that knowledge of imminent doom. They knew that, when they left their cell, it would be the last time they would do that. The feeling of utter defeat and, in some strange way, acceptance of the inevitable. That was what I was feeling just then.
“So, you’ll stay with me?” I asked without turning.
“Yep! Till the end, Forest. That’s what friends do.”
“Is it selfish of me to let you do that knowing that I’m only hurting you?” I asked as I put my first hoof on the top stair that led down to the path we had come only mere minutes before. It now seemed like another lifetime ago.
A heard a soft giggle. “You silly pony. You’re not hurting me. I know you have to go. But, the way I see it, you can look at it as a goodbye, or a see you later. And, right now, even though you think it’s not going to happen, I still think this is a see you later.” She laid a hoof on my shoulder. “Goodbyes are a lot harder for everypony.”
“This is pretty hard,” I said trying to force the tears back into my eyeballs but failing miserably.
Pinkie pulled me into a warm hug. “There, there. Don’t be sad. If you cry, then how can I be strong?”
She looked up at me with eyes swimming in tears as well, but her face had that soft and warm smile. It was so full of kindness and warmth, and I felt horrible. Just plain horrible. Empty. Sick. But I couldn’t let her see that. I sucked in my pain. “I’ll try.”
We turned together and started our walk once more. One hoof in front of the other. One step. I knew, somehow, that our zebra friend was following keeping a good distance away so that we could have our time together. Thinking back on it, Pinkie was my first real friend here. Was it worth noting that, just as she had been the first, she was now the last? That Applejack was the second to last? Coincidence? Perhaps, but it made me think back to my first few days.
“I can’t believe it’s been a month,” I said through the silence.
“You mean it’s already been a month. Time flies when you’re having fun with your friends,” Pinkie replied and pulled me closer to her. “I’m gonna miss you, Forest. You’re a really great friend.”
“T-thanks, Pinkie. That means a lot to me,” I replied. Then, thinking about it, I looked over to her. “Do… do you know what friendship really means, Pinkie?”
She tilted her head to one side, but did not stop walking. She continued on for a moment before she opened her mouth. “No, I don’t think I do.”
It was pointless, but I just needed to know. Could I have won that stupid bet?
“I guess it depends on… you,” she said suddenly breaking my chain of thought. I looked over to her. “I think that friendship is like a cupcake. Every cupcake is made differently. Even ones that I make from my super-special-top-secret recipe book that I keep hidden in my hair,” she said pointing to the poofy mane. “Even if I make the cupcake exactly the way I made it before, it wouldn’t be the same. Like my friendship with my friends and with you. Each one is special because it’s the friendship I share with you. Sometimes that friendship needs to be different because that is why we became friends in the first place. Like how me and Crystal weren’t friends, but then became friends because someone helped add sprinkles to our friendship to make it work! So, yeah. Friendship is like cupcakes. You can bake the same recipe over and over again, but it’ll never ever really be the same. And that’s a good thing. Who wants to eat the same kind of friend anyhow. Right?”
I walked a few steps before stopping and mulling over what she said. I looked up over to her where she had stopped and watched me.
“Did that not make sense?”
“In some strange and ‘Pinkie-esque’ way, it made perfect sense!” I walked over to her and hugged the mare. “You’re an amazing mare, Pinkie. Don’t let any tell you different.”
“I won’t!” she said and we laughed.
Then, she walked a step ahead of me and pulled away some branches causing my heart to sink. We had reached the copse.
“Time flies indeed,” I muttered as I saw the clearing.
“This the place?” Pinkie asked.
“Yeah. This is the place.”
“What’s going to happen now?”
“Well, I’ll walk away and… disappear,” I said smiling sadly.
“But the Everfree is dangerous,” Pinkie replied, but knowing that she was just casting into the wind. There was nothing that could stop me now. I was here. It was over. It was time.
“I’m quick,” I replied and glanced over to where I thought Zecora would be, but didn’t see her. Perhaps she was keeping a distance away out of respect. Or perhaps she was hiding. I couldn’t tell with all the damned leaves about. “I’ll be fine. You just take care of things.”
“I’m glad to be here, Forest.” She looked down. “So… now what?”
“We play a game.”
“A game?”
“Yeah. A silly one, but I think it’ll be fun. You said that you’re pretty good at hide-and-seek. Wanna try playing against one of the best?” I smiled despite myself. “It’ll be your hardest challenge, I guarantee.”
“You’re not that good, Forest,” Pinkie snorted. “Nopony is.”
I couldn’t help but laugh along, but my heart was getting tighter and tighter. It was definitely a combination of another attack and the fact that this was actually happening. I was about to vanish from this place. This place that I had lived through for one lousy month only. I wanted to stay, but couldn't. It was time to go.
“Humor me, Pinks. If I’m not as good as you think I am,” I poked her nose, “then I’ll buy you a cupcake everyday for the rest of your life.”
“Why? I make them!”
“Precisely.”
She made a face. “I don’t know if that’s supposed to be funny, but okay. You’re on, mister!”
I grinned. “Okay.”
Then I walked over to her and hugged her as hard as I could. “You tell Twilight that I’m sorry for not waiting for her to wake up, okay? And not to worry about me. I’ll be fine. And tell AJ too. I know she’ll be pretty angry. Just… tell her that it had to be this way. And tell Spike that I will never forget him and how awesome he has been.” I glanced down at Pinkie who had her eyes closed and trying to stop herself from crying, her lip quivering viciously. In any other situation, I might have found it funny, but seeing her in pain like that broke my heart. “Thank you, Pinkie, for being such a perfect friend.”
“Good-bye, Forest.” She looked up at me. “I’ll really miss you. And I know, somehow, that I’m not going to win this hide-and-seek. At least, not now.”
I cracked a smile again. “Not now is better than never.”
She nodded. “I’ll count.”
“Okay. And, hey, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, okay?”
She ran over to me and seized me in a hug.
“A-are you sure you have to go?” I opened my mouth, but she had already pushed me away. “No. S-sorry. I let myself get weak there for a second. It’s funny how sometimes that happens. It’s… funny…”
We both stared at each other for a moment. I could feel my tears on my cheeks, fresh, and I could see hers. “Okay. Now, turn around, close your eyes, and count. Go on. A-and n-no peeking!”
“O-okay,” she said, letting out a half-laugh and sob. "Promise."
"Good girl."
She released me, turned around, and walked a few steps away. She took a deep breath. Time seemed to stand still. The wind seemed to freeze. Everything stopped.
“One…”
At once I felt it happen. A pull. The tugging on my ass as it quickly spread over my body. I knew this feeling all too well, and I hated it.
“Two…”
“I… I just wanna say…”
“Three…”
“... that you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had, Pinkie!”
“Four…”
Her shoulders were shaking. “Goodbye… and… remember...”
“Five…”
"I love all of you."
And then she was gone.
And so was I.