"So, is he coming or what? We've been waiting out here for ages and it's starting to get cold!" snarled an agitated Rainbow Dash.
Twilight had already gathered all of her friends, whom were patiently waiting in the chariot for a certain theoretical physicist who had not yet left the library.
"Maybe I should go talk to him?" suggested Twilight. "The Royal Guards were pretty intimidating... he's probably scared."
"Darling, don't be ridiculous!" protested Rarity, from the backseat of the chariot. "Yes, Royal Guards are assertive, strong, powerful and very handsome..." she trailed off, drool forming in the corners of her mouth.
"Uh, Rarity, you still with us?" asked Applejack.
"I, uh-what?" stammered Rarity, having snapped back to reality. Her cheeks reddened, and her eyes darted around, frantically. "Yes, well hmm... My original point was; guards are supposed to act tough. It's all part of the job, but deep down inside, I bet they're all big softies."
"I hope so..." sighed Twilight.
After a few tediously long minutes, two irritated Royal Guards shamefully stumbled out of the tree house in defeat.
They approached the chariot and slowly shook their heads, signifying to the group that they've been unsuccessful.
"Okay, that's it!" announced Rainbow Dash. "I'm not waiting around any longer, I'll go in there and drag him out myself!" She flared her wings and leaped into the air, only to be pulled back down a second later by a pair of teeth clamped on her tail.
"No Rainbow," stated Applejack in a mumbled voice before she spat her friend's tail out her mouth. "We jus' need somepony to go talk to him. If anypony can convince him, I'd put mah money on Twi'."
Twilight's ears perked up at her name being mentioned.
"Pfft fine, if you say so," grunted Rainbow Dash.
"Don't worry girls. I'm sure I'll get him out," vowed Twilight, as she stepped out the chariot.
"Good luck," one of the Royal Guards chimed in. "That guy is impossible..."
Before Twilight could reply, Sheldon poked his head through the window upstairs. "I can't be impossible, I exist! I believe what you meant to say is 'Good luck, that guy is improbable'."
The two Royal Guards glanced down at the hard, stone path and sighed.
Twilight awkwardly shuffled between them and trotted towards the front door. She entered the library and called for Sheldon upstairs.
"Sheldon? Please come down, it's Twilight, I just want to talk to you," she pleaded.
"Unless you have an illusive roommate whom I haven't been acquainted with, who also possesses the same name as I, then I'm going to assume your directing your voice upstairs as an attempt to communicate with me," replied Sheldon.
Twilight spun around and noticed Sheldon standing in the kitchen, holding one of her favorite mugs.
"Sheldon!" Twilight exclaimed as she galloped towards him. "Listen, I need to talk to you."
"Well, I would prefer that you didn't but I won't go so far as to forbid it."
Twilight paused for a few seconds."...Okay, as I was saying-"
"I made tea," interrupted Sheldon, holding up Twilight's mug.
"Thank you, but I don't want tea," responded Twilight. She was getting slightly irritated now.
"I didn't make tea for you; this is my tea," stated Sheldon.
Twilight groaned in annoyance, "Then why are you telling me?"
"It's a conversation starter," admitted Sheldon.
"That's a lousy conversation starter," she sneered.
"Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate," retorted Sheldon.
Twilight wedged a hoof in her mouth and screamed at the top of her lungs. She hated it when ponies used logic against her, that was her job.
"You seem angry," observed Sheldon. "Are you angry?"
"Of course not, why would I be angry? I'm perfectly fine, can't you tell?" replied Twilight, sarcastically.
"Oh, that's good news. I'm glad."
Twilight gritted her teeth and groaned. "For Celestia's sake, Sheldon, what do I have to do? Hold up a 'sarcasm sign'?"
"You have a sarcasm sign?" inquired Sheldon.
"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC SHELDON! Yes, I'm angry! More specifically I'm angry with you!" shrieked Twilight.
Sheldon frowned, as he took a step back. "Why, what have I done? You said you wanted to engage in conversation so we engaged in conversation," recalled Sheldon.
Twilight let out a long sigh, not of anger, but of remorse. "I'm sorry Sheldon..." she conceded. "I acted like a jerk."
"You did," agreed Sheldon.
Twilight was about to dispute that claim, but decided against it. They'd already been here long enough, and she didn't have the time or patience to survive another agonizing quarrel with Sheldon.
"Listen, Sheldon. We really need to leave, I don't know what the guards said to you while I was outside but you need to understand that this is really important. Princess Celestia is the ruler of Equestria, you can't just turn her down."
"I already have," Sheldon concluded.
Before Twilight could protest, Applejack galloped into the room, her eyes open wide and her nervous smile etched with concern.
"Ya'll might wanna hurry it up a little," she suggested. "That crowd from yesterday is back and they're mighty curious bout' our newest visitor!"
"Oh no, I knew they wouldn't give up so easily," panicked Twilight.
"Crowd? Is it a large crowd?" queried Sheldon.
"Ah don't know sugarcube, what would you count as a large crowd?"
"Any crowd large enough to trample me. Rule of thumb is 35 adults or 70 children," explained Sheldon.
"We don't have time for this, we need to leave now!" announced Twilight.
"I thought I made my intentions clear earlier, I'm not going anywhere," Sheldon argued.
"Urgh, Applejack, help me out here!" pleaded Twilight.
Applejack cleared her throat and smirked, "Sheldon! You stop your dilly-dallin' right now and get on the chariot this instant!"
"But mom, that's not fair!" reasoned Sheldon. "The bible clearly states that Jesus died to forgive humanity's sins, one of which was the deficiency of free will; a freedom which I'm currently utilizing to circumvent this unwarranted visit."
"Interesting..." noted Twilight. She hadn't asked him about his species' history before, but it sounded pretty gruesome.
"Sheldon, don't make me ask you again," cautioned Applejack.
Sheldon refused to make eye contact, and instead stared at the ground. "But mom, I don't wanna..."
"Sheldon, if you don't leave with us right now, Ah swear, you're gonna be grounded for a month!"
Sheldon lifted his head in disbelief. A month? Even by Texas standards that's cold... Hopefully this didn't apply to real life too.
"Fine," he finally conceded, "Just let me just grab something real quick." Sheldon swiftly made his way upstairs before descending down a few moment later, his Alienware Laptop wrapped cozily under his left arm.
* * *
Sheldon and the two ponies made it to the chariot just in time. The incited crowd was even more determined than yesterday, flinging empty bottles and small stones at the guards, who were very much struggling to keep order. The mob's ringleader had also returned. The light-green unicorn sported a steel helmet upon her head, the same helmet worn by Royal Guards.
She probably expected it to make her look intimidating, but the over-sized headgear hung awkwardly over the side of her face, making her look rather silly. The helmet also had a small label suspended on the side which displayed a price-tag, making it obvious she bought it from a gift-shop in Canterlot, and that she didn't loot it off a guard she'd defeated.
The two stallions defending the library looked incredibly relived to see Twilight step into the chariot, alongside Sheldon. They backed away from the crowd slowly, spears pointed upright, prepared for any surprise attack. Once they'd achieved a considerable distance between the offending ponies, they promptly spun around and hastily climbed aboard.
As the chariot ascended into the sky, Sheldon shifted his gaze down to the massive group of ponies they had left down below. All their eyes were locked on him, they were practically begging him to do something or say something. Anything!
Feeling this was an appropriate time, Sheldon raised his palm and performed the iconic 'Vulcan Salute' used by Mr Spock from Star Trek.
"Live Long and Prosper" he whispered, as the gathering of ponies slowly disappeared into the distance.
* * *
"Dear lord, this is absolutely ridiculous!" complained Sheldon.
"Urgh, yes. We know! We don't have 'Wi-Fi' here in Equestria, shut up about it already!" snapped Rainbow Dash.
"Shut up? You can't expect me to shut up about it, how am I going to update my blog? How am I going to tweet? Who knows, maybe Stephen Hawking has sent me a friend request over Facebook and I'm rendered unable to accept it!"
"Stephen Hawking, who's that?" asked Twilight.
Sheldon ignored her and continued his rant. "Think of all the unread emails I have from the University! Think of all the raid invites I have on World of Warcraft!" he bawled. "How am I going to check my messages? You have to check your messages! The leaving of a message is one half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message! If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down, and we descend into anarchy!"
The chariot descended into silence. Nobody had anything to say, nor did they really feel like talking to Sheldon. Well almost everyone, that is.
"Sooooooo... can I have a go on your 'button-tappy rectangle screen toy thingy'?"
"It's not a toy, it's an Alienware M17 x Gaming laptop," corrected Sheldon, frowning at the pink pony.
"A-alienware... aliens?" Fluttershy whispered from the back, her face embodied with fear.
"I already know that you silly filly, 'button-tappy rectangle screen toy thingy' sounds much cooler though right!?" beamed Pinkie.
"No it does not sound 'cooler' and calling it a toy is an incorrect statement, stop it."
"Okay sheesh no need to get all mopey-dopey-frowny-wowny about it, can I still have a go?" asked Pinkie, excitedly.
Sheldon looked down at his prized laptop sitting upon his lap. The red, metallic finish shimmered, delightfully in the early morning sunshine. He would usually never give anyone other than himself the satisfaction of using his beloved gaming laptop. Not even Leonard is permitted to touch it without Sheldon's permission and a 'Grant of access' letter being sent and approved three days in advance.
"Fine, but if I find so much a scratch on it... mark my words, such an act of injustice will be met with swift and cruel ferocity. It will be time to cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war," he threatened, as he slowly passed his treasured laptop over to the Pink pony.
"Okay, Sheldon. This needs to stop," began Twilight. "We're on our way to see the two rulers of Equestria, not many ponies get that privilege and I need you to be on your best behavior."
"I didn't willingly agree to accompany you, nor do I take any pleasure in doing so. The only one who should feel privileged here, should be your 'Princess'," replied Sheldon.
Twilight frowned, whilst the guards aboard the chariot eyed each other, curiously.
"Speaking of Princesses..." began Sheldon, once more. "I just remembered, I downloaded an Emulator with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time last week."
"Oh goody!" he remarked as he snatched his laptop back from Pinkie's clutches.
"The legend of... what?" questioned Rainbow Dash.
"The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time," explained Sheldon. "It's an action-adventure game with role-playing and puzzle elements. It was originally developed for the Nintendo 64 but with the Emulator I can play it on my..." he trailed off.
"Why is my screen blue? What did you do?" accused Sheldon.
"I dunno, I was just messing around then that thing just popped up outta nowhere!" recalled Pinkie.
"Messing around? Define 'Messing around' to me, what did you do?" asked Sheldon, cautiously. He was on the verge of a mental breakdown
"Hmm, let me think..." Pinkie pondered. "I used the clicker to move all the little icons around on the main screen thingy, I drew a bunch of cool wacky faces on the notepad doodle... Oh, that's it! And I deleted System 32," she declared proudly.
Sheldon flinched. He had a sudden unexpected urge to slowly and painfully murder horses.