//------------------------------// // Chapter 5:Baker Jack, Farmer Jack, Designer Jack, Rainbow Jack... Singer Jack? pt.2 // Story: Handsome Jack In Equestria // by East Coast //------------------------------// I have to say, for a sleep deprived, pastel purple pony. She's a phenominal organizer. No really, I've been here less than four days and she already had the country taking the "Are you a hero?" quiz... A whole damn country... Blake couldn't do that in his soaking wet, secretary/ butlery, dreams. Butlery is now a word, it's a thing. --------------------------------------------- Jack paced impatiently, stopping only to drum his fingers on a table or Spike's head. "C'mon Twinkle Star gimme some good news!" Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes as she corrected tests she had designed not 24 hours prior. A test givin to everypony... Everypony... "What's taking so long? Have you found my double yet?" "This is a process Jack, I can't exactly just read all of these things at once and tell you! It's a margin, a scale of sorts. There are any number of ponies who could be-" Jack spun Twilight around, grabbing her horn to do so. As he spoke he would jerk his arm, rattling Twilight's brain. "You listen to me you purple glue-stick, I don't have the patience for this crap. Get me the top ten results, and we'll pay them a visit. How's that sound?" It sounded like Jack was about ready to kill a filly. " Y-Yeah... I-I think I can-" "Don't think, just do it." Jack released Twilight with a slight shove and made his way to the door. "Get me some results Twilight, I know you can do it!" Jack was out of the door, into Ponyville. Leaving Twilight trembling slightly. In truth she had felt Jack was just... Eccentric... Now though... He needed to go. Soon. __________ Sometimes I think to myself. 'Jack, why do you bother? People, ponies, bandits... They're all the same. Not litterally of course, but spiritually. They're all stupid. They're all. Just... Just... I mean... Could it be that this whole thing, this whole be the hero thing. Is it really worth it? Is... Is enlightening these primitives really, really worth your time?' Then I say... Yes. Yes it is. But why? Why is spending all this time, all these resources, all this... Talent. On these vermin. Why is it worth it? I'll tell you why. Family. Family, and honor. Yeah, before I was the man I am today, I was a slightly lesser man. Only a slightly lesser man. But I had a family. I had a beautiful wife, a lovely daughter. God my daughter... I loved them both. I loved them both so much, I wanted to give them everything. And I don't mean that just in the cheesy, feely, lovie dovie kind of way. I was preparing to do what every good dad wants to do. Give his baby girl the world... It would worked too... If it weren't for those meddling vault hunters! Seriously! Why couldn't they have just been the pawns I needed?! Or have jumped off a freaken cliff! But noooo! Instead of playing the gentlemens' game of people chessmonopolisk (chess, monopoly, and risk all rolled into one fuster cluck of mens board-games) they decide to flip the table, and play fricken TIC-TAC-mother humpin-TOE! Just... What-the-fuck... C'mon you agree right? Ok seriously though, I don't even know what to call you. Huh... yup gotit-Buttstallion 2.0. I'ma callin ya Buttstalion 2.0... Make that 2.1... I just realized I hate zeros. ________________ Twilight sat, truamatized by Jack's change in disposition. That is to say, his sanity... Or therelackof. Spike approached Twilight, a mix of fear and concern in his voice. "Twilight are you okay?" " I think so, yes. But I think we should hurry. Jack already set fire to a bed and dismantled my laboratory... And he was just being sour then... I don't want to risk what he may do if I don't hurry!" Spike looked at his dearest friend, frowning, then smiled and swept a good chunk of the paper work in front of him. " You mean if 'we' don't hurry. Where's that rubric?" Twilight smiled and pulled her assistant into a warm hug and floating him a quil. "Thank you Spike now, let's get to work!"