//------------------------------// // "Entertaining" // Story: Me and My Lord of Chaos // by Abryssle //------------------------------// "Ah-" I said. The guard seemed collectively bewildered. Shining's face was the most bizarrely neutral thing ever, as if his mind had just given up on trying to portray an emotional response. I probably would have laughed, if it wasn't for the fact that Discord was shifting his body (which, it is worth noting, took up a fair amount of the bubble's volume,) towards me, with a look firmly determined for mischief. "Could, we- Uh-" I paused again. "...No?" "Oh, but come on, Aaron! It's the perfect escape strategy. Unless Shining over here has a lot more discipline than he looks like, and he doesn't, I'm fairly sure we can eventually break his concentration." He lowered his voice to a seductive murmur. "And even if we can't, it will get ever so boring in here..." I was silent, though not for lack of effort. Resisting seduction wasn't a strong suit of mine, and—Damn, his face is close—Discord's upper body had lowered to mine, and I had backed up, and then I remembered we where in a sphere and not on a flat plane, and I fell backwards. Discord laughed, and I felt my skin burn with embarrassment. His laugh kept going. And then kept going. "Shut up," I said, in true me-fashion. I was painfully aware of how flustered I must have looked to our oddly silent audience, who all still seemed half in shock. "You're so cute when you're flustered, seriously," Discord said, chuckling. He lowered himself further down to keep himself level with me. Keep our faces near each other, mostly. He lifted a talon to my chin and ran the point up my skin, sending shivers through my body and causing me to lift my downward-directed gaze almost unconsciously. Discord's smile turned a bit more subdued. "Well, I'm serious. And for all you're saying, I know you don't actually not want this." He put his other arm on my shoulder. "Ready?" "I- I, uh-" Just do it, wimp, my self-esteem said bitterly. "Yes," I said weakly. "Okay," cut in Shining's voice, loud and clear. "Who is he?" We both looked over to him. "Me?" I said. "Him?" Discord said. "Oh, he's my other-dimensional boyfriend. Why?" Shining was, I noted, blushing slightly. "Uh..." Shining said. "Hey." I said. "Big fan." Scott Pilgrim reference. Brilliant, Aaron. Everyone here will get that. There was an awkward moment of silence, during which Discord pressed his muzzle forwards over my shoulder and sniffed at my hair. That was the loudest sound in the room for a moment. "You're a fan?" Shining said, finally just dropping all pretense of command and control and just sounding genuinely intrigued. "Uh, yeah," I said, as Discord withdrew a bit and made a muttered comment about how I could probably use a bath. He touched my chest, and I noted particles of dust and grime draw off my clothes and body. I could almost deem that as an insignificant occurrence versus the other less believable things happening around me. "That's sort of a long story, though, and-" Discord licked at my neck, and my words stopped a moment. So is that, I thought, as my eyes wandered back to the draconequus. My hands moved stiffly forwards, and gently brushed the fur of his neck. Discord's tongue slid back between his lips, almost silently. It drew my attention to his lips. My attention stayed fixed there, and it seemed oddly persistent about not moving. Saying I didn't want to kiss him would have been a blatant lie. "I'm gonna make you do it," Discord said quietly. "Just for fun, you know. We have time." "...Are you going to just stay there, like... Right in front of me?" I said. "Yeah, sounds about right," he said. Damn, I'm gonna have to just steel myself and do it. I tried to start moving, but that was oddly hard to do as well. Now. I still wasn't moving. Now. I might have twitched, maybe. "That's kind of hard," I said after a moment. "Precisely." I closed my eyes, and desperately tried to force some semblance of courage into my heart. The effort didn't yield much in way of results. Move, bitch, my thoughts said in bitter self-irritation. Come on. This is so... It's so 'me,' of me. Cut that shit out. I finally moved a little, slowly inclining my body forward. And then we were kissing, apparently. Or at least that's what my senses were telling me. I could feel his lip--I opened my eyes, and I could see his muzzle against mine. His eyes weren't closed, and so I was staring into the simple, bright red circles that made them up. His eyebrows were angled downward in a mocking gesture, or an appreciative one. I couldn't tell. Discord drew his head back, and I had an instantly formed suspicion that he had leaned forwards just a little to actually made it so that I hit his lips, though I couldn't confirm that. That could have just been my negative self esteem saying that, of course. It was hard to say. There was a lingering feeling on my lips that made me long to get them back against his, straightaway, which was a rather embarrassing thought. Not that I could really get more embarrassed than I already was. The guards were chattering outside the bubble; I couldn't blame them, given how bizarre our counter-captivity measures were. "You really need to work on this kissing thing," Discord commented. "Shut up," I said. He smirked, and then he kissed me again. I felt his arms wrap around my sides as he did so. Mine, in stiff, jerky motions, did the same for his own muscled, serpentine form. My eyes closed naturally as I enjoyed the feel of our lips touching, subtly moving against one another as they attempted to fuse perfectly together, only breaking apart to make the subtle shifts in position needed as to really define the next time they touched as a separate kiss. God, this is surreal, I thought as his tongue brushed my lips. They opened a bit, implying that I granted permission for tongue admission. Or... well, okay, it probably meant that. That was what had popped into my head, at least. Nice. But surreal. Apparently, it was, or at least that was how Discord had chosen to interpret it, because his tongue darted in. I could feel it brushing against my own, and the sensation felt an overwhelming buzz of pleasure through my nerves. The guard's chattering felt suddenly louder, as I made what little effort I could to play back with my own tongue. It was almost overwhelming—my face was practically burning with shame. And besides that, the frail, ghostly feeling in my limbs was growing stronger, and it was becoming easier and easier to just stay slumped against the bubble's inner wall and make out with Discord. Or at least harder to stop. My arms seemed to want to just lay were they were, gently curled up over Discord's back and applying what pathetic little force downwards they could in their weakened state. I heard a moan. I couldn't have said if it came from me. "I feel like this was a pretty good call, strategically," Discord said as he drew back, a thin string of saliva falling from its unsupported suspension between us. My head had followed his part of the way in what immediately afterwards seemed a subconscious demonstration of longing. And with that thought I felt it, eating away at my restraint and also at the strength of my shame. "What do you think?" That little voice in the back of my head that spoke only of shame and guilt to me (who was always kind of a downer) said, It's stupid and embarrassing. "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, it was," I said, my breath slightly hastened, my skin burning. Discord gave an oddly soft, affectionate look that lasted for but a second, and then looked over to the guards, who were still chattering among themselves. Some seemed to have finally forgotten their discipline in the face of boredom, pointlessness, and awkward viewing. Others were still just standing there. And others still were watching with what seemed like almost excessive interest. "Hey, Shiny. How about you?" 'Shiny,' as it was, had his eyes closed, and appeared to be ignoring us. "Grey Wind," he said quietly, "Would you go ask the Princess what she would like me to do? As for the rest of you, you're dismissed. I don't think you're doing anything here." One guard nodded, unfurled his wings, and flew back down the hallway. The majority of the guards left after him, though much more slowly. Several stayed. Whether for enjoyment, duty or the inability to avert their eyes, I couldn't say. Discord rapped with his lion's paw on the bubble of energy. "Shiiiiinyyyyy~" Discord said in a singsong voice. "Come on! You shouldn't be so dishonest with yourself. It's not healthy." Shining ignored him. Discord stared a moment longer, then muttered irritably, "Che! Ingrate." "Discord," I heard myself say. "Can we get back to cuddling or kissing? You've left me kind of... Wanting." And mildly hard. "Oh! Sure," Discord said, almost apologetically. I was about to speak again, but then he darted forwards and resumed kissing me. I stiffened for a moment in surprise, and then relaxed again into him. That was, I was beginning to realize, very easy to do, based around Discord's individual qualities. Namely being soft, warm, and having a really long and rather delightful tongue. He was using it again, that delightful tongue, teasing pleasure from the walls of my mouth, from my tongue, from my lips... Anything it could touch, it drew from. I shook underneath him, in small shudders of physical bliss. Compared to my pitiful efforts, his was truly a godlike performance. He acts so servile to my desires, I thought. One of the remaining guards gave a short whistle. "Wow, not gonna stop, are they?" the guard muttered. Sort of, I added in addendum, remembering our surroundings and that he'd initiated this. Discord slipped off my mouth and gave several playful nips to my neck. "Discord, why are you so damn nice," I said under my breath. "I blame love," he said. "Firstly for entertaining diversions, and secondly for you." "Oh," I responded numbly. I would have preferred to say something more witty there, but what I said seemed to encapsulate my full emotional response pretty well, so I didn't. I just sat and let Discord keep doing various displays of affection, and let my brain sink under the more basic, automatic responses to his touch. For ease. Also to better ignore the small voice. "You know," Discord said after transitioning to just stroking my hair and having rolled me over so I was sitting on top of him, "I don't think we're going to get out of here at this rate." I glanced over at Shining, sitting outside his shield prison with eyes closed and expression calm, if tense, in a seated position. "No, we probably won't." "As I see it, our only choices are to either do nothing until Celestia arrives, or take this plan to a new level." "Oh. So... Sit around?" I said. He gave me a mockingly large look of disappointment. "A shame. I thought we might finally just fuck." My face, which had finally been heading back to a fairly normal shade of pale-ish tan, blushed furiously again. Even though that sort of made sense as a progression. One of the guards laughed derisively. "I'll admit it, captain," he said to Shining. Shining glanced back at the guard. "I don't feel very threatened by these two. Even if Discord does have nearly limitless power." "Discord's a force of evil who would throw Equestria into anarchy," Shining said. "And how much more fun it would be," Discord said cheerfully. The guard laughed again. "As I said, captain." I stared at that guard for a time. Then, on weak legs, I lifted myself off Discord, and walked to the edge of the bubble. My legs felt gone. There was no feeling in them, but I felt firmly set on the ground. The guards looked at me. Shining had opened his eyes, now that we had stopped. "Hey," I said. "Can we come out?" Shining's eyes widened, and he had an innocent look of confusion for a second. "What?" said Shining. "Come out. I'm useless, and I'll order Discord not to do anything. He'll obey-" "-I will!" Discord offered helpfully. "-for some reason or another. Even if he doesn't... All you're doing right now is delaying him. And me. I guess. You know?" I glanced around at the guards, who were all a foot or two shorter than me, which gave me a sense of power in spite of my weakness and the fact that I was terrified. So, really, I had no sense of power at all. But they might. "You know?" I added again for emphasis. "No," Shining said simply. "You can- you can talk it over with the Princess if you want, if she chooses to see you." "Ugh, god, you make a boring person as an enemy," I muttered under my breath, turning away. No one gave the impression they'd heard me. I stepped over Discord's tail, which was lain out on the limited floor of our prison, walked to the opposite edge of the sphere—a short walk, given the very limited dimensions of the bubble—turned around and walked back. I had nerves and nothing to do. I decided to let the geek in me win, at least as much as my nerves would let it before demanding I shut up and stop drawing more attention to myself. I looked to Shining, and pushed up my glasses as I did so. "...Is Cadence ok?" Shining's eyes widened again. For all his determination look and act serious, his outward composure was very easy to break. "How do you know her name?" "A long story that has almost nothing to do with Discord or present matters," I said back. "But she's ok, right?" He blinked again. "Yes, yeah, she is." "That's good," I said. I was silent a moment. I could think of nothing that would actually be a good idea to say, but I desperately felt like I needed to say something. The social need to keep talking when in a group, albeit a small group composed of two technical rebels and four royal guards, and three different species among those two groups, was immense. Unfortunately, wanting to talk didn't seem to make me any better at it, so the silence hung. "How'd you two meet?" one of the guards spoke suddenly, in a quiet, level voice that carried a neutral curiosity. I was taken aback at being addressed directly by one of the guards. It was a possibility somehow outside my expectations or consideration. "Uh, well-" I began, and then paused. Discord took up the explanation, an act which I silently, but fervently, thanked him for. Even though hearing his explanation evoked mild feelings of rage towards him. "I teleported into his house on a different dimension and decided I liked him after knowing him for maybe an hour or two. Then I dragged him back here with me, and we've been hanging around on Equestria together as a couple ever since, after I decided that we'd be one, with him in various states of consciousness and varying degrees of acceptance over that time period. I think he's been awake maybe a third of the time he's been here. Maybe." Discord paused, and then lifted himself upright into the air, to sling an arm over my shoulder, grasp my chin in one hand, and lift it proudly up. His doing this made my embarrassment undergo another oscillation back into intense levels. Discord giggled. "Isn't he just adorable? I think he's adorable. Who here thinks he's adorable? Don't be shy to speak up, at this point he's likely too flustered to speak audible sentences." Two of the guards smiled, one laughed, and Shining had an uneasy look of confusion decorating his face that made him look strangely vulnerable. I tossed Discord's arm off, and he let it be thrown, smiling wide. I would have verbally chastise him in some kind of mundane punishment for mocking me before these random guards (and Shining Armor), but I was—Damn him—too flustered to speak audible sentences. So instead I just stood there, making sure by quick visual check that my clothes were concealing as much of my body as they could, like they were some kind of cloth barrier against shame. Discord giggled again. "Ah, how fortunate I have it," he said. I tried to flash him a look of righteous fury. Discord just laughed. Again. "Are you really Discord?" Shining said, almost in a plea. "Yes, that's me," Discord said. "Twice-defeated master of chaos and disorder, at your service. It's okay if you forget the last part of that. It can usually be inferred from the name." Discord looked up, over the guards. "Ah, there she is." Celestia arrived in a rush of wind that I could hear, but not feel. The guard turned and bowed to her as her hooves touched down and her wings folded in. "At ease," she said. She had a vicious smile that felt rather odd to see decorating her face. "How are you doing, Discord? And..." Celestia glanced to me for a second, with seething malice lurking in her eyes, and nowhere else. "...Pet." "We're doing quite lovely, Celestia. How about you? How goes your little team's effort at harmonizing?" "Rather poorly. What have you done with magic?" Discord laughed. "Pfft, like I'd tell you." Celestia glared at him. "You've done an unusually small amount of damage in contrast to your usual wake of mayhem. Evidentially, almost nothing. Why is that?" Discord pointed to me. "Why, that would be due to my pet." Celestia looked over to me for a moment, then back to Discord. "How?" "I'll answer that for you if you let us out." Celestia raised her eyebrows. It had the effect of making the contempt practically leaking from her already rise in strength exponentially. "I promise to play nice, too," Discord added, with a mocking friendliness. Celestia remained silent for a time. "Shining, you may release them." Shining gave an odd, uncomfortable expression, restrained it, gave a stiff nod, and let the small, subtle glow of his horn fade. The bubble vanished. Drops of hot chocolate fell to the ground, no longer supported. Discord smiled, stood to his full height, and gave a slight bow. "Many thanks, my splendid usurper~" "Talk," she said coldly. "He's given me an order to do nothing to anypony," Discord said cheerfully. Celestia's face was stiff and unreadable. "So, naturally," Discord continued, "I haven't done anything to anypony. I've been a good master to him. Why, I expect he may give me a treat soon." "Of all the things to ever threaten my nation, you may be the most annoying," Celestia said after a moment of cold silence. "You are ever so appreciative of my efforts, Celestia. It makes all these rebellions worth it." I swept my gaze over the whole group. We had me, who was flustered, cowed, and generally overwhelmed, Discord, who looked smug and jovial about the confrontation proceedings, Celestia, angry and stern, Shining, confused and aimless, and four random royal guards, who all had blanked expressions again besides one who appeared on the brink of laughter. I liked him. His face broke a little of the massive tension hanging over the area as the gods bantered. Well, chipped it, more like. It was still nice. I anxiously shifted my weight from leg to leg. "So, uh," I said. Both monosyllabic words felt momentous. The group looked to me, whose tongue had cut the silence and then immediately pressed to the floor of my mouth trembling in fear. "What now?" I said shakily. "Perhaps a display of hospitality," Celestia said, sounding completely inhospitable. "Lovely. We'll await you in your chambers." His fingers pressed together. I braced instinctively for disorientation. We reappeared in a large, lush room, with a prevalent though not untasteful theme of golden yellow and suns decorating much of the room's trappings. A massive window let sunlight pour in, casting a warm glow over most of the room. A massive bed made of dark, solid wood, with a cover and curtains that dominated the room was present, along with several cabinets. "Wow, nice," I said calmly. "Yes. I imagine she'll be rather irritated by our being in here. She enjoys maintaining the illusion of a private life; being in her theoretically-private chambers ought to be a good jab at her." He twirled his finger in the air in what seemed to be a happy excess in energy. "Get back at her for the whole, 'pet,' jab, you know." "Why does she hate you so much?" "Well, we're enemies, one. But two, when she originally attempted her coup against my rule, I ran instead of fighting. At the time, she had the elements under control, you understand, and I could have dodged their assault, but at the time I was more interested in the distraction of a nice conflict than an easy victory. I made her life during her first few weeks of rule as accurate an imitation of Tartarus as I could. She was, at the time, not incredibly stable, which meant that as soon as I started to get to her the elements were crippled. No laughter, you know. So, in essence, for personal and impersonal emotional torment over several months." "Oh," I said. "That sounds terrible." "Such is war," Discord said, smiling. "And, really, any good vitriolic relationship." I had no comment on that. I noticed that my legs felt tired--not just weird, incorporeal, and hollow, but actually tired too, which had the odd effect of making me feel simultaneously supported by nothing and fatigued in that nothing. So, lacking any other directive, I sat down. "Man..." I said, and I was contented with that. Discord nodded in understanding. "Still functioning?" "Yeah. Tired as hell, though." I lifted an arm to my forehead, thumb and index finger arranged in a 90-degree angle, and massaged my temples. "And mildly disgraced. That too." "Oh, why would that be? All we did was make out for a bit." I moved my hand over my mouth to conceal my lower face. "Well, yeah, that was- all, I guess, but..." Discord was holding back laughter. "What was that?" He said. "Your hand blocked it." "Shut up," I said back. I lowered my arm to point emphatically at it. He laughed. "Oh, you know I'm just playing," Discord said, lifting his arm and flipping his hand up and down in a dismissive gesture. "Permission to wrap around you, sir? We should look affectionate when Celestia enters. Commence the mental warfare, you know." I held my silence for a moment. Fuck it. I'm tired and I don't have to take initiative. "Sure." Discord snaked through the air over to me, and commenced coiling his tortuous body around mine in tight loops. "I would have suggested we fucked in her bed, but you deserve a break from feeling ashamed about getting excited when I tell you to do stuff." "Uh. Thanks, I guess," I said as I leaned back into his body. I relaxed my muscles, letting myself fall into the support of his coils, forcing myself to exhale, and envision the floods of mental and physical tension drowning my sense external calm in their swells draining from my body. Discord's head rose out from his third coil around me, to the right of my head, so as to hang over me and allow himself to maintain freedom of his arms and neck. My arms were just above much of his body, and his spine functioned in essence almost as an armrest, where indeed my arms fell. "So, uh, what now," I said. "We wait," Discord said simply. "We wait," I echoed. Again.