“Okay, Spike, one of the main things that guys do when they hang out is play video games! Sadly, since the most interesting thing this world has is magic reproduced using sexual innuendos placed on the heads of horses, we’ll have to make do with something else.”
“It’s so hard not understanding what in the world you’re talking about, so I hope you don’t mind if I just take bits and pieces out of what you say and make sense of it in my own way. I do the same with a lot of Twilight’s speeches. All these years of being with her, and I still never really understand her.”
Josh and Spike made their way back into town, the saddlebag containing the antidote still situated upon Josh’s back. Thinking that it would be safe where it was, Josh decided to leave Zecora’s antidote tucked away inside his pony carrying case for the time being. Right now, all he cared about was giving Spike an actual day of fun that didn’t involve girly trips to the spa, rambunctious fits of giggling whenever something cute or adorable came up in a conversation, unwanted social picnics, and disturbing periods of testing out new clothes inside a boutique that looked like something a hip-hop artist would shrink down and wear as a necklace.
Rolling his eyes, Josh softly smacked Spike on the back of his head and continued to trot along. “Well, whatever the case, we still have to find something fun to do that won’t make me want to blow my brains out with a gun. What’s ironic is that I honestly hate guns and would never use one. Do you find it weird that I would use that saying when I hate guns?”
“Uh…”
“Never mind. You’re too stupid to understand.” Halting just before entering Ponyville, Josh gasped and suddenly came up with an idea. “Oh, I know! A bro date, that’s it! I can go on a bro date with this girly little dragon. Damn I’m smart.”
Spike, while still trying to maintain a level of calmness through Josh’s frequent insults of his intelligence, now looked rather pale and unnerved by Josh’s idea. “Er…did you just say…that you wanted to go on a date with me?” He began to back far away from the stallion.
“A bro date, you idiot reptile, not a date date!” Josh frowned over at the dragon. “Believe me, I found it a little awkward as well at first, but it’s just what it’s called. I learned it while watching an episode of my favorite reality show, Survivor. See, there was this pretty boy on there named Brett, and during the final tribal council where the jury had to ask the final three questions, Brett asked one of the finalists what he would do if they were to go on a bro date together. I won’t go into details about how the rest of the finale went, since the wrong winner took the million dollars and I was left to angrily break everything in sight at the injustice, but the point is that a bro date is just when two guys go have fun together, like a night on the town!”
Spike stared at Josh for a very long time, his face blank and rather expressionless. A few times he tilted his head a little to the left or right, as though trying to fully understand what Josh was talking about. Eventually, the dragon sighed and used two of his claws to pinch the area between his eyes together, purely out of irritation.
“I have no idea what you just said, but…well, I already promised I’d have some fun with you. So, lead the way…or whatever. Show me just how much fun it can be to hang out with a creepy guy instead of with one of my wonderful pony girls.”
“Excellent!” Josh gave Spike an evil grin. “First, show me where we can get some spray-paint.”
~~~
Nervously looking around, Spike twiddled his claws together as he watched Josh uncapping the fresh cans of spray-paint. “Are you sure this is legal? Plus, why did I have to buy them while you waited outside and hid behind some garbage cans?”
“First off, stop your whining and complaining or I’m gonna take you to the vet and neuter you and give you something to REALLY complain about!” Josh awkwardly tried holding the first can of spray-paint in his hooves, but was really struggling to hold it with his hooves. “Ugh, DAMMIT! I really wish my stupid magic or whatever was working so I could just levitate this crap instead of handling it with these stupid hooves. Hey, Spike, get over here and help me!”
Stepping up next to the frustrated stallion, Spike picked up one of the five spray-paint cans he had gotten from the local art shop and glanced up at the large slate that was the back of City Hall. “You didn’t answer my first question about this being legal or not. Come to think of it, you didn’t answer either of my questions.”
Expelling an exasperated sigh, Josh bopped Spike on the head with his can of purple spray-paint. “Of course it’s legal! It’s called tagging, or in other words making graffiti. It’s all the rage back on my world! You simply find a big, flat surface, and then you spray-paint whatever comes to your mind! It’s a great bonding experience for males. Never actually saw a female do it before; I don’t think it’s their thing.”
“But…but…this is vandalism! Twilight will kill me if she finds out that I participated in something like this!” Spike was about to throw down his can of spray-paint and run to tattle on Josh, but the stallion quickly grabbed him around the wrist and pulled him closer.
“Quiet, you idiot! Aren’t the unicorns in this world, like, super talented with their baby magic powers? Couldn’t they just erase something drawn on a building without even breaking a sweat? So, what’s the big deal, huh? We’re just having a little fun. It’s not like I told you to help me build a bomb and put it into a toilet and then videotape it so we can put it on some website for laughs and worldwide fame.”
Spike slapped his forehead. “Again, I have no idea what you’re talking about. But, fine! I’ll help you. But, if we get caught, I’m pointing all the blame at you and I’m going to be playing the innocent victim that was kidnapped and forced to do your evil bidding against my will.”
“Fair enough.” Wobbling as he stood on his hind legs, Josh used both hooves to shakily hold his can of spray-paint. One hoof stayed wrapped around the can, while the other hovered over the top of the nozzle. “Now, this is honestly my first time doing this, so bear with me. A stupid show with annoying black characters called The Boondocks or something like that taught me that spray-painting is a form of artwork, and it’s important to express yourself with whatever you write or draw with your paint.”
“On the side of buildings out in public and not on a canvas or a piece of parchment?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes. This is a much better way to broaden your horizons!”
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know, it just sounds cool. Now, shut up and start expressing yourself all over this building!” Ignoring Spike’s confused looks, Josh carefully pressed down on top of the nozzle as purple paint began hissing out and splattering against the side of City Hall.
Twenty minutes later, Josh and Spike were standing back and admiring their handiwork. It was clear that neither boy was meant to create art. Josh had attempted to spray-paint a picture of Twilight Sparkle sitting on top of Equestria wearing a dunce’s cap and speaking a very rude phrase in a speech bubble. Sadly, while Josh usually had great handwriting, his words didn’t come out so clearly, and the drawing looked worse than what a toddler could do. Spike himself had simply tried to paint a picture of Rarity and himself cuddled together, but it looked like nothing more than a blob of purple and green sitting next to a fat white marshmallow.
Slowly, Spike glanced sideways at Josh. “So…are we having fun yet?”
“Shut up.”
~~~
“You owe me twenty-five bits, I hope you know!” Spike continued to nag Josh while both boys headed away from Ponyville and into a rather rocky valley. “Each of those cans of spray-paint cost me a lot of money, and it’s hard enough getting by with the allowance that Twilight gives me!”
“Wow, five bits per can of spray-paint,” Josh snickered, his voice dripping with its usual display of idle sarcasm, “Since I guess ‘bits’ means dollars, that would mean that each can cost you five dollars. Eh, that seems fair, I guess. A bit inflated, but then again, I’m from Earth. Anything from here has GOT to be better than that place. The economy really sucked when I left.”
“You still owe me twenty-five bits, and I’m holding you to it!”
“Yes, father. I’ll pay you your twenty-five bits whenever I magically get ahold of some cheap, girly pony money. But, it’ll be hard for you to spend once I throw you off a cliff and you’ll have to spend it on your hospital bills.” The dark purple stallion cast Spike an evil smirk. “I wonder if your screaming voice is just as high-pitched and girly like the rest of those stupid ponies. As soon as we find my favorite cliff, let’s find out, alright?”
Cracking his knuckles, Spike bared his fangs and glared at Josh. “If you even try to throw me over a cliff, you’ll be sorry! Twilight and Rarity will find out, and boy will they be mad! They’ll hurt you and make you pay for hurting me and…”
“Oh, for God’s sake!” Stomping right into Spike’s face, Josh smacked the dragon right across the face with his hoof. “Enough of your babyish antics! You already kicked my ass before…by pure luck and due to Zecora distracting me…but, the fact is that you did! Stand on your own two legs for once and stop running to your stupid girlfriends every time you need help!”
Yelping as he got slapped, Spike instinctively reached up to rub his cheeks while continuing to glare at the stallion. “T-that does it! I tried being nice to you, but this ‘bro date’ is officially over! The only ‘date’ that you’re about to get is a date with destiny! Destiny being another beat-down, Spike style!”
Leaping backwards, Josh tried to stand on his hind legs and strike a cool pose. “Bring it on, dragon boy! You may have beat me once, but it won’t happen again! I’ll make you wish you had never messed with…me?” When Josh’s left hind leg drifted a little ways behind his back as he tried to pose, it quickly sank straight into the ground as a massive hole was revealed. Josh immediately lost his balance, still not used to standing upright in his pony form, and ended up falling backwards through the hole and vanishing from sight.
Widening his eyes, Spike dropped his own fighting pose and quickly scampered over to the hole. Josh’s screams died down as he vanished into the darkness, with the baby dragon peering down curiously at where the stallion had disappeared. Even though he wanted to yell out an insult on Josh’s own screams and how high-pitched they sound, Spike took the highroad and didn’t bother adding fuel to the fire. Instead, after a quick look around the area, he recognized just where the two of them had ventured.
“Uh-oh. This isn’t good. I probably should’ve realized where we were.” Tapping his chin and thinking long and hard about his current choices at the new predicament, Spike glanced down at the hole that Josh had vanished down. “Well, let’s see. Leaving him down there will probably mean he’ll be forced into slave labor, or lose his temper and get overwhelmed by who’s waiting for him, and the result will be a very hurt stallion. But, I could always run back to Ponyville for help, or just go and help him out myself.” Sitting down on the edge of the hole, Spike smirked a bit. “So, my choices are to rescue Josh, since he’s too inexperienced in his pony form to use his powers to get out himself, or…leave him down there and let him get what he deserves. Such a hard choice.”
~~~
Crashing down hard on top of his right foreleg and screaming out a few choice words of pain, Josh’s new stallion body lay twitching on the floor in his new location. When his eyes eventually fluttered open and blurrily began scouring where he landed, Josh saw that he was inside what seemed to be a maze of underground tunnels. Embedded in the walls were gleaming rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and many other choice gems. Far above his head, merely a tiny circular spec from his current location, was the hidden hole that he had accidentally fallen prey to.
“Dammit! This freaking HURTS!” Making sure to yell as loudly as he could for no reason other than to express his displeasure at falling nearly 100 feet, surviving, and feeling his entire body throb in pain, the angry stallion struggled to get up. “How the hell did I survive such a fall anyway? Oh, right, I’m in a girly pony world. I’ve already thrown several ponies off some cliffs, tied one into a ball, and abused several others in choice ways. Thank God for cartoon logic.”
“Intruder! We have an intruder in our gem mines!” Before Josh could fully comprehend where he was, and further his vocal complaints at how much in pain he was, the stallion soon had unwanted company show up to welcome him. When the woozy stallion looked over at some of the tunnels branching off to form the underground maze, a herd of what looked to be overgrown canines began charging towards him. The moment he saw them, Josh couldn’t help but groan. He was getting tired of these surprises.
Just before reaching Josh, the large group of canines stopped and just stared at the newcomer. Josh stared right back, mostly with utter disgust and annoyance. The three leaders, or at least the two canines that were in front of the pack, were all taller than Spike and any other pony that Josh had seen, save for Celestia. They wore black collars with diamonds encrusted into them and shreds of outfits that Josh figured were some kind of jackets. All the canines behind the three leaders wore cheap armor while carrying small, but sharp spears.
Raising an eyebrow, Josh snorted. “Who…or rather what the hell are you freaks? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re some kinda stupid underground mutts. Goody, it seems that I’ve attracted yet another unwanted and very pathetic-looking group of moronic creatures. I feel so lucky; I’m just oozing with joy and excitement, let me tell you.”
The three lead canines all looked at one another with bemused expressions, before turning back around and snarling at Josh. The smallest one, who was light brown with large yellow eyes, stepped forward to address Josh’s rudeness. “We are the Diamond Dogs, and you are trespassing in our home! This is where we live, with all our pretty gems rich for mining! I am Spot, and this is Fido and Rover.” He motioned toward his two fellow Diamond Dogs standing behind his back.
Josh looked at Spot for a very long time, before falling down and starting to laugh his head off. “HA! Oh dear God, this is just hilarious! Not only do these weirdoes have the same name as a stupid David Bowie album, but they have the simplest and lamest of dog names! Ooh, and they kinda sound like that retard from that series involving the cursed ring, or whatever it was. This is priceless! Can this world get any lamer and pathetic?”
Hearing a few unfamiliar insults, combined with Josh’s natural rudeness, the Diamond Dogs all started to growl in unison. All the armor-clad Diamond Dogs began moving towards Josh with their spears pointed at his face, while the three leaders clenched their fists and joined in with the advancing. After laughing so hard that he started to choke, Josh finally peeked back up at the dogs and saw that they were starting to close in around him. Since they weren’t ponies with ridiculous powers, Josh wasn’t overly afraid. But, seeing that they were holding weapons and had arguably bigger muscles than any pony, it started to make him reconsider his verbal abuse.
“What should we do with him?” Rover asked, soon standing right over the stallion and glaring down at his face. “Maybe we should show him just what it means to be a strong Diamond Dog?”
“I say we force him to become our new mule!” Fido suggested, cracking his knuckles as he towered over Josh. “We could always use a new pony to haul gems for us. The last one we tried to get was so whiny!”
“Or, another suggestion, you all bow down and worship me as the mangy mutts you are?” Josh offered, sitting up and crossing his hooves over his chest in smug confidence. “See, I’m really a human being, and back on my world, you stupid dogs are nothing but flea-bitten pets that we make roll over for us and fetch our slippers. So, before I have to kick your sorry butts and make you wish you had never met me, I suggest you start making it clear just who your master is.”
Rover, Fido and Spot all considered Josh’s idea for a few minutes, before blinking in realization and finally figuring out that it was another insult. While they didn’t really understand what Josh meant about him being a human being and from another world, it was enough to make the Diamond Dogs very angry. Fido quickly reached down and grasped Josh using only one paw, easily yanking the stallion up into the air and glaring right into his face. With Rover and Spot motioning for all the other random Diamond Dogs to hurry over with their spears, Josh refused to back down.
“Oh, what, did I hurt your feelings?” he sneered, squirming in Fido’s grasp, but finding it shockingly strong and not able to get any room at all. “Poor little puppies. It’s too bad I didn’t bring any leashes, or else I’d take you all on a nice walk to make you happy again. But, I’ll tell you what I’m willing to do. You give me a bag of gems so that I can have a little spending money on this stupid world, then you help me back up to the surface, and in return I’ll let you freakish mutants live without me having to spay and neuter all of you. How does that sound?”
Fido pushed his face right into Josh’s and grinned evilly at him. “I don’t know, but I know a sound that we all DO want to hear. And that’s the sound of your bones going crunch-crunch once we get through with you!” To emphasize his point, he squeezed Josh a bit harder, making the stallion accidentally squeak in pain as his back cricked a little.
“And then the sounds of you limping along and pulling our cart while you gather gems for us for the rest of eternity!” Rover added.
“Let’s show this pony what happens when you invade our home!” Spot cheered, pointing up at Josh as all present Diamond Dogs with spears pointed them right against Josh’s body. The stallion could soon feel the sharp points digging into his coat, and combined with the painful hold he was in from Fido, Josh’s eyes started to dart around for a way out.
Suddenly, from right atop Josh’s head, a familiar voice yelled out. “I’m coming for you, you jerk! I missed out on my chance to be a hero the first time, so I’m not going to miss my second chance!”
“Huh?” His eyes darting upwards, Josh saw something familiar streaking straight down towards his face. “What the hell?!?! Hey, wait a minute, you’re going to…!”
A loud smack later, followed by a hard thud against the ground, and Spike made his flashy entrance. “Ha! Remember me, you dirty dogs?” The baby dragon grinned as he stared up at the three shocked leaders of the Diamond Dogs, crossing his arms while bravely sitting in front of the army of underground dogs.
“Oh-no, it’s that little gem helper!” Spot gasped, pointing an incriminating finger at Spike. “The one who was with that…that…horribly whiny pony who tortured us so badly last time!”
“If he’s here, then that must mean that she’s here!” Rover reasoned, glaring down at Spike. “So, you have come back to make us go crazy again? Well, not this time! This time, we will show you the true fury of the Diamond Dogs!”
“Uh-oh…you were supposed to be scared and run away in fright at the sight of me…” Spike nervously watched the herd of dogs start to close in yet again after having backed away from his appearance. “I didn’t exactly…plan this far ahead. Oh man…what do I do now? T-Twilight? R-Rarity? Help!”
Slowly, Josh’s hoof jabbed Spike right on the thigh. “What do you do now? First, you remove your scaly butt from my face. After that, we kick their asses! That’s a job that no guy ever needs to call on a female to help him with! Funny how we landed in this situation…”
Blinking a few times, completely confused, Spike glanced behind his back and saw just what his comfy seat really was. “Whoa! When did you get under there?!?!”
“YOU LANDED ON ME, YOU IDIOT!” Josh snarled, “NOW MOVE YOUR ASS ALREADY!” He grumbled a little bit and shivered. “And I thought letting my cat sleep on my face was bad enough.”
Snickering a little bit, Spike wiggled his tush and casually rose off the annoyed stallion’s face. “Guess this makes you the butt of my joke right now, eh?” The dragon giggled subsequently got thoroughly pushed off by Josh, the stallion wincing as he got up and rubbed his face with his hooves.
“Gross. I had a male baby dragon sit on my face. And, since all creatures here talk like humans, but none of them wear clothes, that technically means he was naked. I’m sure glad no one saw this.” Even as he felt his cheeks heating up for some reason, Josh realized that the army of Diamond Dogs were still surrounding him. Only, they had momentarily paused in their pursuit for revenge to watch the absurdity unfold before them. “…allow me to rephrase that. I’m sure glad no one important saw this.”
“Enough of this! My fellow Diamond Dogs, GET THEM!” Rover pointed at Josh and Spike, and for possibly the third time all the underground canines began to close in.
“Now, as I was saying, it’s time to put the girly crap aside and show what it means to be a male!” Leaping up on his hind legs, Josh took a mighty kick at the nearest Diamond Dog. The dog’s spear got knocked out of his paws as he went crashing into the wall, taking out three more dogs and making a few sharp lance-like stalactites break off from the ceiling and crash dangerously close to Josh and Spike. “Oh yeah, now this is what I’m talking about! Spike, grab one of those spears, and stand by me!”
“W-w-what?!?!” Spike watched in confusion as Josh wobbled on his hind legs while picking up one of the stalactites and held it as though he were holding a sword. “W-w-wait, we’re going to fight them?!?! B-b-but, I’m a lover, not a fighter!”
“Oh, cut the crap, you stooge! Either we kick their butts and live to see another day, or…we live to see another day, since I doubt that anything in this world actually has the balls to kill anything else, but we do it very painfully for a few weeks while we recover from some serious injuries. Dogs can bite, you know! Plus, these dogs have big muscles and spears pointed at us!” Josh glared over at Spike. “Spike, come on! I can’t fight these bastards on my own!”
“Er…you can’t fight these what on your own?”
“Bastards. It’s a bad word that you shouldn’t say; it basically means a male without a father. I think. Or, something along those lines. But…look, I don’t want Twilight yelling at me, so just don’t say it. Alright?”
Sighing, Spike reached down and picked up one of the spears dropped by the knocked-out Diamond Dogs and also struck a cool fighting pose next to Josh. “Fine, whatever. I’m not going to let you fight these guys alone. And…now that I think of it…” An excited grin broke out over the dragon’s face. “I really did have fun during the fight with those changelings in Canterlot, but no one fought by my side. Finally, it’s time to show off my awesome skills!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but FINALLY!” Pointing his stalactite sword into the faces of the three leaders, Josh narrowed his eyes. “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I’m all outta gum.”
“Wow…that’s a cool quote! Did you come up with that all by yourself?”
“Nah, I ripped it off from a video game I like.”
“Oh. Well, there’s minus three cool points for you.”
“Just shut up and start fighting, Spike.”
While wishing for battle music to start playing, Josh charged straight at the Diamond Dogs. And promptly fell flat on his face. Spike rushed forward instead, taking swipes with his spear at the dogs and trying to knock them out instead of actually hurting them. All the Diamond Dogs began attacking at once, leading to massive confusion, and making gems and stalactite pieces start flying in all directions. Using his tiny body, Spike was able to dexterously leap from the head of each Diamond Dog, while smacking them in the face or right on top of the melon with his spear. He also expertly timed each of his jumps so when an oncoming Diamond Dog tried to attack the dragon, the dog would attack one of his fellow fighters instead.
“DAMMIT, NO FAIR! I WANNA FIGHT!” Josh struggled to get back up, but was quickly slammed back down by a hurtling Diamond Dog that had been sent for a loop by an accidental charge from one of his fellow dogs. “GAH! COME ON!” But, each time Josh attempted to get back up, he would immediately be knocked back down, either from an oncoming Diamond Dog, a flying gem, or a falling stalactite.
“THIS…IS…SO…MUCH…FUN!” Spike was having the time of his life battling the clumsy Diamond Dogs, being able to race under their legs, climb up their backs, leap from head to head, and basically make them fight each other when he didn’t have to use his stolen spear on them. “OH, IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW, TWILIGHT AND RARITY!”
Just look at that stupid dragon. Stealing all your glory! This was your first chance to actually battle something with a makeshift weapon, one of your biggest dreams, and he’s ruining it! Quick, let’s turn on him and knock HIM out while we still have a chance!
“…no.”
WHAT?!?! You idiot! What’s wrong with you? You are nothing more than a clumsy oaf who has done nothing at all! You fell into this underground gem maze, got a bunch of dogs to hate you, had a dragon butt fall on your face, and spoke a lot of fancy and partially-stolen lines before getting ready to battle. But, you’re NOT EVEN BATTLING! You are letting a stupid baby dragon rescue you all by yourself! Where is your pride, you dingbat?
“I…I don’t know…but, watching Spike fight like that…it makes me…proud, in a way.” Josh sighed, the hint of a smile playing at his face as he watched Spike continue to humiliate and somehow dominate all the Diamond Dogs. “I wonder…is this how a father feels when he sees his son finally accomplish something? Or…when you see someone you care about…finally realize their true potential and stop being such a slave to a pathetic life?”
You are pathetic, and you make me want to barf. Fine, keep ogling the dragon instead of bothering to make yourself useful at all. You make me sick. It’s no wonder you were sent to a warped and insane world. It’s because you YOURSELF are insane and warped in the mind.
“Shut up. I still hate every living thing, both here and back on my own world. Now, stop talking to me and just get back in my mind!” Josh smacked his head a few times, and when the voices went away, he sighed and once again tried to get up. This time, he found that he wasn’t getting dog-piled or smacked by anything randomly. “Huh?”
Gazing around the chamber, Josh saw every metal-clad Diamond Dog laying knocked out around him. Standing on top of a pile only a few feet away was none other than Spike, striking a cool pose of him placing his right hand on his hip and holding his spear over his left shoulder while giving Josh a smug look of satisfaction. It was at that moment that Josh felt like he was only three inches tall and he just wanted to crawl under a rock, and then proceed to throw said rock over a cliff and let it hit someone on the head in the valley far below.
“What’s wrong, Josh? Dog got your tongue?” Spike grinned, noticing that Josh was too humiliated and angry to say anything. “I must admit, that was really fun! Without Twilight and the others saying to just be nice and talk things out and junk, I actually fought these Diamond Dogs. With a weapon! It…it was…it was so awesome!”
Kill him. Kill him now. He’s asking for it.
“No…I can’t. Too risky. I’m not sure what the consequences for homicide are on this world.” Josh spoke in barely a whisper while Spike kept excitedly bragging about his accomplishment. The stallion still clutched his unused stalactite sword in his hoof, never having used it on any Diamond Dog.
Suddenly, as Spike kept bouncing up and down on top of his pile of dogs, a stalactite as sharp as a dagger started to tremble right over the top of the dragon’s head. The dragon’s excited yelling, combined with him bouncing around and making tiny tremors, was going to unleash the deadly stalactite straight down upon him in a matter of seconds. When Josh looked back around, his eyes traveled upward and immediately widened in surprise. He saw the stalactite ready to fall, and found himself quickly rising up to his hooves.
SPIKE’S IN TROUBLE! he thought, And, the weird part is that I actually care! Why?!?! I should WANT him to get…er, sliced in half from the head down? Well…maybe that’s a bit…UGH! Why do I care? I HATE this world…and Spike! Even if he is such a…cute, adorable, sarcastic dragon…UGH, DAMMIT!
“…so, Josh, you know what? Overall, hanging out with you was a bit more trouble than it was worth, but I can honestly say that…”
“SPIKE, YOU IDIOT, LOOK OUT!” Just as the stalactite burst apart from its prison and sliced through the air, its deadly point rushing straight down towards Spike’s head, Josh found himself leaping towards the dragon with all his might.
He had never actually experienced such a situation before. Josh literally found himself nearly frozen and slowed while lunging through the air, his hooves outstretched at Spike. His heartbeat accelerated a hundred times its normal rate as his emerald eyes watched Spike about to get killed. The thought of witnessing death right in front of him, especially to someone who, for some reason, he didn’t want to see hurt, made Josh scared. It made him scared to death. It was almost like time itself was against him, as the stalactite of death zoomed right towards Spike’s head.
God…please…don’t do this…I hate them all…I hate them all so much…but, please, don’t do this! I know this is not the United States anymore, but…I am still a human being trapped in a pony’s body…so, I know you can hear me! Please…don’t let this happen…don’t make it so…
His green pupils locked onto Spike’s for a mere microsecond, as Josh’s hooves found themselves tightly wrapped around the dragon’s waist another microsecond later. Josh was flying off the pile of dogs with Spike tightly clutched against his heart, hooves squeezed around him in a fierce embrace, as the deadly stalactite missed its would-be target. And instead, it took a different target. Josh’s right hind leg.
Time sped up again, and every single emotion began flowing into Josh. Joy, relief, confusion, and intense pain. Laying on top of the stunned dragon, Josh only had a moment to react before he reared his head back and shrieked bloody murder. The stalactite had sliced clean through almost his entire leg, the insidious tip of the blade barely jutting out the opposite side. A fast-moving river of blood began trickling out of Josh’s severe wound, the stalactite remaining wedged deep into his leg as he writhed in agony atop Spike.
No words could be spoken. Spike had witnessed the stalactite fall, and didn’t need to see where it had landed to know what happened. Josh’s miserable and emotional screams of intense pain and the river of red liquid seeping towards the spear clutched in his clawed hand was more than enough. Slowly, tears began to shimmer in Spike’s eyes, the dragon laying limp beneath the stallion struggling to hold in his own tears above him. Both boys laid there for what seemed like eternity, neither one knowing what to say, despite one bleeding to death and viciously trying to not cry.
God…next time…I pray to you…DON’T LISTEN!