I trotted into this town for the first time in my life. It was a small town (I could tell that just by walking in); that might be why I'd never heard of it. The sign just outside said 'Ponyville', but I had already forgotten the name not 20 yards past the sign. I've lived in many places throughout my life, half of them I can't even remember the name of because they weren't important to me. This was just one more place to me, just another place to try out, to see if it was a nice place to live. I noticed that a purple pony had spotted me from off in the distance. She turned her head to the side when she saw me, as if she were curious about something. I just walked in the same line I was on which ended up taking me right to her.
“Hello,” she said. It was a pretty simple greeting I guess, not the worst I've had, so I'll take it.
“Hi!” I responded, with a big smile on my face. I might want to mention I'm an optimist. I can't remember the last time I was mad, sad, anything like that. I just don't ever feel that way; it doesn't result in anything but unhappiness, which I don't like.
She smiled at me, which hopefully wasn't an “I'm insane and you're going to die” smile. I've seen a couple of those. Smiles can be very misleading, you know. “You seem like a nice enough pony, but I've never seen you around here before. Are you visiting?”
“Nope!” I responded cheerfully. I then began a slow trot in no particular direction, just looking around at the scenery, but keeping an eye on this mare as well. Always gotta keep your surroundings in check. You don't know what's going to happen if you don't. She followed alongside of me and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
“Oookay then, do you live anywhere around here?” She asked.
“Probably, we'll see in a little bit.” I responded, again with a smile on my face. She scrunched her nose up and looked confused.
“Okay...uhm...do you have a house you're going to buy or something?” She was an inquisitive one. That doesn't get you anywhere good in most of the places I've been to. That also gives me some feedback on this pony; she probably hasn't had to deal with too much “bad” stuff. I decided to trust her and stopped keeping one eye on her.
“Nah I don't have enough to afford a house. I think I've only got like 2 bits to my name or something.” I stuck my tongue out in concentration as I searched through the pocket in which I kept my money in my saddlebag. I frowned when I found nothing, “Crud, I think I dropped it somewhere. Oh well, not the first time I've been broke.”
The purple mare's jaw dropped for some reason. Man this pony is odd I thought. I don't get her. She started stammering before she spoke again. “But-but how...how did you get here?!”
“I walked.” I continued walking, searching around.
“WALKED?! From where!” She demanded.
“Hey, why are you getting angry? I didn't do anything, and here I was beginning to think you were a nice pony. Also, I don't remember where I came from last; names of places I've been aren't important to me. I've been traveling from...” I pointed a hoof towards the direction I came from, “That way for a few days. I think I'll just find somewhere to settle down for a little bit. Maybe I'll like this place if ponies don't get so angry at you for answering their questions honestly.” I shot her a glance; she looked really angry. Did I say something wrong? I honestly thought I was doing well here.
“Where do you expect to live if you can't buy a house!” She shouted. She obviously gets riled up very easily.
“Hmm...” I searched around a little more, it took me a while to find what I wanted since it was night time, but I eventually found exactly what I was looking for. A little alleyway with a couple of trash cans, and to my glee, a box that must have been for a sofa or something. The thing was huge! “Right here! Look at this box, it's just so perfect! I could fit like two of me here! And then I can pick food up right there.” I pointed at the trash cans with jubilation, “It's perfect!”
Okay, NOW she was mad. Seriously, what am I doing wrong? She was actually turning red, literally, with rage. Oh...OH! I know what must be the problem. “You already live here don't you? Crud, I'll go find another box.” I walked away dejectedly when she began shouting. I'm honestly baffled at how she keeps getting so mad, I'm trying to be nice to her! I just sat down and let her end her rant, which I honestly understood like one or two words of. I think the shortest word she used had maybe twenty letters in it, okay maybe that's an exaggeration but you get my point. She took a breath, dropped her head, and shook it, her horn lit up and I felt myself get lifted off the ground.
“Come on, you're coming with me.” She said.
She began walking with me levitating off the ground behind her. I just crossed my arms, screwed my eyes shut, and made a raspberry sound at her.
She looked back and me and saw me pouting at her, sighed and continued walking. “You are the weirdest pony I've ever met, and I know Pinkie Pie.” I did the little foal thing where you mock what they said in a weird voice behind their back, she didn't even respond to it, it's no fun when they don't respond to it.
I had no idea where I was being taken now, but whatever, I'd already decided she was trustworthy. Maybe a little bit crazy, but she didn't seem harmless. I watched, upside-down, where she was taking me and we eventually ended up heading straight towards a tree. “Uhm no offense, but I'd rather go back to my box, I'm not an owl, owl's live in trees, not ponies.”
“This is my house, and it's a library.” Now she was being short with me, why couldn't she just lighten up?
“Okay, well owl's live in trees, and books live in libraries. Since you're not an owl...you must be a book!” I concluded with triumph. I smiled when she just looked back at me and attempted to say something but nothing came out of her mouth. She facehoofed and continued walking towards the tree/library/house.
When we got there she set me down on the floor and closed the door. “You are sleeping here tonight.” She stated with finality in her voice, her eyes dared to challenge her but I saw no reason to.
I just shrugged, lay down, closed my eyes, and said, “Okay, if you say so.”
She gritted her teeth, clearly frustrated, but again I was at a loss as to what for. “NO! Not on the ground...in a bed! Or couch! For Celestia's sake, something ponies normally sleep on!”
“In my defense, I normally sleep on some newspapers, or a box, or something like that. You took that away from me you jerk. How can a nice pony be so mean? You're weird.”
She turned red again, is that even supposed to be possible? To actually turn red? Well since she's a unicorn, I guess it could be partly due to magic. “You- I just- YOU'RE WEIRD! I'M NOT WEIRD! YOU'RE JUST....GAH!” She was about ready to burst again, but took a deep breath, let it out long and slow and began again. “You...are sleeping on this couch. This one! Right here! See it? No where else! Not a box, not newspapers, not the ground, the couch! I'm going to bed, you've worn me out.”
“That's what she-”
“DON'T YOU DARE. For Celestia's sake how old are you?!” She shouted...again.
“I'm like 20 I think, I don't know, I don't know my birthday.”
She sighed, shook her head and began walking upstairs. “I'm going to bed, goodnight.” As she almost was out of sight, she looked back at me, “I don't even know your name yet, mine is Twilight Sparkle...what's yours?”
“I don't know it either.” I responded.
Her teeth had to have been worn down a couple centimeters from all the grinding they were doing, she also probably had a headache after banging her head on the wall a couple times. I'm no doctor, but that can't be good for you. She went up the stairs, out of sight, and I didn't see her again. Hopefully she doesn't hate me in the morning, because she probably does right now.
I settled down on the couch for the night, and all jokes aside, I was really grateful that she let me sleep there. I'm pretty sure she probably didn't get that from me at all, I made sure to make a mental note to let her know in the morning. This was by far the most comfortable place I'd ever slept in my life, a random mare whose name I'd just learned about a minute ago let me take refuge in her house, even if just for a night. That alone astounded me, I didn't understand the hospitality, but I wasn't about to deny it. Well she might be a serial killer that attracts her victims just like she did with me, but I had a feeling that wasn't the case. Oh well, we'd see in the morning if I didn't wake up. Or well...technically wouldn't see...but you get my point.