As I entered the Ball Room, the lights came on suddenly.
A chorus of "Surprise!" resounded throughout the entire room. There must have been at least two hundred ponies gathered together for this party. My face fell and I ran out of the room and retreated behind Princess Celestia.
"Michael, you are the guest of honor at this party! What's wrong?" Celestia asked me.
"I was under the impression Discord had escaped -- and yet, here are the Elements, and seemingly every pony in Canterlot, here to throw a party for me? Really?" I was flustered. I did not know how to handle this.
"But of course, Michael! Pinkie Pie had informed me of her plan to throw you a massive party, and I decided that the Royal Ball Room would be sufficiently large enough for a party for you," she stated, smiling softly.
"Princess Celestia, I am honored and humbled by this turn of events, but --" I was cut off by Pinkie Pie bouncing up to me in great excitement.
"Hiya, Mikey! I wanted to throw you the biggest, bestest party in Equestria! I even got the Princess to let me hold it in the biggest room in the castle! Aren't you happy? I thought you liked parties! Why did you run out of the room? What's wrong?"
"I appreciate the thought, Pinkie Pie, but truth be told, I have never felt comfortable at parties. Nothing personal, I assure you."
"But Mikey! You gotta come in! This party is for YOU! We can't have a party for you if you don't want to be a part of it! Please! For me! Please come in!" I saw her hair start to deflate, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Begging your pardon, Pinkie Pie, but I just can't. I can handle just about anything any pony could throw at me, but when it comes to parties, forget it. I turn into a turtle and retreat into my shell, I am just so terrified of parties..."
"But ... but ... but ... WHY??"
"The memories come flooding back -- like a tsunami of sadness, all those bad memories -- bad childhood -- I -- I --" I started crying. The tears flowed down my cheeks as my ears lay flat against my head, even my mane and tail lay flat.
"What? What do you mean? Please, Mike! Please! We're your friends! You're the guest of honor!"
Princess Celestia placed a wing around me in an attempt to comfort me. At this point I broke down, weeping and sobbing uncontrollably. My cries pierced the air with a deep sadness, causing some discomfort among the gathered ponies in the ball room. It seemed as though she could not comfort me despite her best attempts.
"Mike, what's wrong?" Twilight asked.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!" I wailed, my sobs still wracking my body as I curled up on the floor, the Princess offering a look of deep sympathy as she continued her attempts to comfort me.
"He doesn't want to be in his own party!" Pinkie wailed, tears flowing down her cheeks, her hair totally flat.
"Mike, you need to understand something. I don't know what happened to you in your past -- but you need to overcome this fear of yours. I think that's what's wrong -- you're afraid," Twilight said softly. Her voice felt reassuring and I stopped crying.
"Twilight -- my childhood -- I --" I began.
"Would you like to know about my childhood? You think you had it bad? I was left alone in an orphanage! I was beaten by all the other ponies in the orphanage! It was terrible! Please, don't feel sorry for yourself!" she shouted indignantly, her words stinging with their volume and tone.
"Okay. Okay, Twilight. I'm sorry. I should have known. Pinkie, I'm sorry. I will come in."
"All right! Way to go, Mikey!" she shouted, her hair returning to its cotton-candy appearance.
Reluctantly, I re-entered the ball room, and decided to mingle as best I could. I was still quite nervous, seemingly checking behind me and made my way over to a corner of the room. Nick stopped me before I made it over to that corner.
"Hey Mike, great idea! I'm glad I came! Rarity and I talked a lot -- this is sooo cool! Now I'm glad I woke up as Rarity!"
"You can thank Pinkie Pie -- this was her idea. Frankly, I just want to jump out of my skin," I said, a very worried look on my face.
"Dude, what's wrong?"
"Nick, I absolutely HATE parties, especially when they're THIS big!" I said a bit too loudly.
"What do you mean you hate parties, darling? I thought you always enjoyed them!" Rarity said.
"Hey, Rarity, what do you think about meeting another you?" I asked, a smile making its way onto my features.
"Well, I was a bit freaked out at first, but what has me a bit more worried is that my other self is sharing her body with some male human. What's going to happen to her? What's going to happen to him?"
"I was thinking Princess Celestia might have an answer for that," I mused. "But if Rarity's still inside him, that means we're in another alternate universe, and probably not the one we're supposed to be in."
"Mike, don't freak me out like that! I want my body back! What's gonna happen to me?" Nick was frantic.
"Nick, I can only hope the Princess has an answer for you, as I am unsure of what to do, other than try to have a body made for you, and transfer your psyche into that new body. Rarity deserves to have her body back, but you deserve yours no less than her. I guess I got lucky, as I am not sharing this body with Twilight."
"What did you say darling? You don't have Twilight in there with you?"
"As far as I can tell, Rarity, it's just me, Michael -- I woke up in this body just yesterday."
"I woke up as Rarity three days ago, and I'm still trying to get used to this body," Nick said.
"Speak for yourself, darling!" Nick's Rarity said.
"I'm sorry, Rarity!"
"Try not to get into another argument with yourself, please," I said. Rarity chuckled at this.
"Twilight, darling, do you have any other ideas?" Rarity asked me.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Rarity, but I'm Michael," I chuckled. "Twilight! Would you please come over and join us? I need to ask you for your expert opinion on something." She trotted over to us.
"Yes, Michael? What is it?"
"Twilight, have you been informed of Nick's situation?"
"Yes, Michael, the Princess let us know that he's sharing Rarity's body with his and her minds."
"Well, do you have any ideas as to how to get the two of them separated into their respective bodies?"
"Hmmm. I have been contemplating possible solutions to this problem for awhile, but nothing seems to be forthcoming -- I am not quite sure how to solve this one. I think Princess Celestia can help, though."
"I'm enjoying myself, but I really want to have my human body back," Nick said, still somewhat worried about possible outcomes. "What about you, Mike? Don't you want to go back to being a human?"
"I'm cool with this until Sunday night -- but come Monday, I need to be back in MY human body as well. I have certain obligations which require me to be my old human self. I am fairly sure the Princess can return me to that form, but as for you, Nick, yours is a special case, which will require something extra."
"I hope she hurries -- Rarity's not exactly my favorite pony."
"The feeling is mutual, Nick," his Rarity responded.
"I got lucky -- Twilight is my favorite pony," I mused.
"Oh, Mike, you flatter me!" Twilight almost cooed, blushing.
"Twilight, you look so cute when you do that," I said, smiling softly.
"Hey, Mikey! You wanna play pin the tail?" Pinkie asked me.
"No thank you, Pinkie, I'm having a discussion with Twilight and Rarity."
"Oh, Mikey, you're no fun! Why not?"
"You might as well ask me to cut my left ear off with a dull hacksaw," I replied. She pulled a dull hacksaw from seemingly out of nowhere. She looked at it, then looked at my left ear, then back at the hacksaw. She then pitched the hacksaw, and left, a dejected look on her face.
"Well, suit yourself, Mikey," she said sullenly.
"Hey, Mike, you enjoyin' yerself?" Applejack asked, smiling broadly.
"I'm enjoying myself about as much as if I were attending my own funeral," I responded.
"Mike, yer such a killjoy. Be seein' ya!" she grumbled and went back to mingle with the others.
"Mike, why must you be so mean to my friends?" Twilight asked, some exasperation creeping into her voice.
"I believe I tried to tell you earlier, Twilight, I detest parties. I have tried my best to avoid them ever since I was about four years old, when my very first actual birthday party was ruined. I never forgot the experience and subsequently resolved never to attend another party, even if my life depended on it. I may be in your body, but my experiences still color my behavior, atrocious though it may be. I apologize for angering your friends, but I just -- I just --" I tried to explain, but the tears started coming back -- I tried to hold them back, but was failing at that. "Excuse me, Twilight, I need some time to myself." I teleported to the Royal Gardens, just outside the Ball Room.
"Where are you going?" Nick asked a little too late.
"He's out in the garden! Why did he go there?" Pinkie Pie shouted. "Oh no, not again. What is it with him?"
"I believe he needs some time to sort out his feelings," Princess Celestia mused.
---------------------------------
I wandered through the gardens, admiring the statues and topiary. Tropical flowers and plants of almost every variety and color were neatly organized in rows and columns. Some distance away there was a hedge maze, or at least I guessed that's what it was. I passed by Discord's statue, staring at it for a few moments.
"Twilight, what brings you out here?" came a female voice from behind me.
I turned around to see who it was. "Princess Luna? I thought you'd be sleeping this time of day," I said.
"Twilight, sleep has a tendency to elude me," she mused.
"Princess, I have a confession -- I am not Twilight, even though I'm in her body," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Twilight's in the Royal Ball Room -- Pinkie Pie decided to throw me a party, but I have never been one for parties," I replied sadly. My ears still lay flat against my head.
"What is your name, if you are not Twilight? Wait, you said you don't like parties?"
"I would have thought your sister would have told you about me, but if she hasn't, my name is Michael, and I have hated parties ever since I was four years old."
"You are in Twilight's body, but you have a male name -- what exactly are you?"
"I am a human who woke up in Twilight's body," I replied in a matter-of-fact manner.
"How did that happen?"
"To be honest, Princess Luna, I have no idea. I only remember making a wish to wake up in the body of my favorite pony, and I guess that wish was granted. I hope to be returned to my human form fairly soon, as I have certain responsibilities --"
"I didn't think such things were possible," Luna mused. "So if you're human, what is your world like?"
"It's an awful place, filled with sadness, greed, violence, hunger, disease, hatred, fear --"
"No wonder you left."
"Well, Princess, it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be -- it's just my nature to exaggerate the bad and marginalize the good -- if I see a glass of water about half-way up, I say the glass is half-empty."
"You are definitely NOT Twilight -- her attitude is much different from yours."
"I know -- I wanted to be her, but I have come to the conclusion that I could never even hope to come close to being her. What a foal I have been. I am so disappointed in myself."
"You are being too hard on yourself, Michael. I'm sure there is something you can do well," she offered.
"I am going to head back to the party. Thank you very much for your company, Princess Luna. I would like to spend more time talking with you in the future. Perhaps in a week's time, maybe?"
"Why a week?"
"With Princess Celestia's permission, I would like to return in a week -- Saturdays and Sundays are days I don't have to work, and I would be thrilled to return," I smiled.
"I will ask my sister on your behalf. I am sure we can come to an amicable arrangement."
I trotted back towards the wall on the other side of the ball room, and noticed a missing statue. I gasped in horror.