//------------------------------// // One Sided // Story: A Study In Nonsense // by Professor Piggy //------------------------------// I’m not in love. I know they all think I am – they all think they’re being subtle, but they’re not. Fluttershy keeps giving me these weird little smiles, then giggling like an idiot whenever I look at her. Twilight keeps trying to make me read those cheap romance novels – she totally thinks I don’t know what I’m doing. Me. I’m like, a bazillion times better than she is at all this mushy junk, and she thinks she has to give me advice. Then there’s Applejack. Ugh. She dragged me down to the orchard and gave me this big talk about how her apples are really special to her, and she cares a lot about all of them. That if anypony ever hurt her apples she’d have to make sure it didn’t happen again – it was the most awkward conversation ever. The look on her face when I told her I don’t even like apples that much was totally worth it, but really – like I’d ever hurt one of my friends. Or my friend’s apples. Stupid Applejack. What? Oh. Yeah. Her. She baked a ‘Congratulations on finding a special somepony’ cake. And threw a surprise party. But she only invited like, five ponies – she was really proud of herself, too. Really proud. She kept trying to be cryptic, too. I can’t tell if she was serious or just messing with me – I mean, normally I’d go with prank but… I dunno. I swear she was crying, a little bit. Pinkie never cries. Not like that, anyways. Wait, really? Nah. Nah, Pinkie loves Shy. Well…yeah, I mean I guess it’s possible but – no. No way. Pinkie could never keep something like that secret – and there’s no way she didn’t notice me drooling over her half of last year. …Well okay, yeah. I guess with Pinkie anything’s possible. The point is, her and Shy are happy – right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What do you mean, ‘get to the point?’ This is the point – you asked me what was wrong. I – no. That’s not what I meant! Of course I like seeing you. I like this… whatever we are… a lot, and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing than hanging out with you. It’s just frustrating, y’know? I mean…I don’t want all this to change. I don’t like them trying to make it change. It’s awesome like this – just you and me, doing whatever we want whenever we want to do it. And it’s easier, if it stays like this. No, don’t cry! I didn’t mean it like – ugh, I’m terrible at this! Come here. It’s okay. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. All I mean is that this way, when you…y’know, get sick of me, you can just walk away. No regrets, no pressure, no awkward ‘this is the way it has to be’ junk. Yeah, I know. I know you say that now – and I know you believe it, too. But that’s what everypony else said, too. Mum, when she walked out. Dad, when he dumped me off on Grandma. Grandma when she dumped me on the street. Fluttershy, when she walked away. Gilda…well, you know about Gilda. And it’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s that I do, and that scares the hay outta me. You…deserve better. Better than me. I – OW! What the heck was that for!? Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. Sorry. No, I’m not leaving. That’s…not why I came. I don’t really know why I came. I just…wanted to see you. And I thought maybe you might want to see me too. So I got to thinking, and I thought…I thought maybe you might wanna… This is stupid. Listen up – I came here because even if I dunno whether I love you yet, I wanna find out. I’m sick of being afraid, every day, that I’m gonna lose you. I’m sick of worrying you’ll find someone better. So I guess what I came to ask is… You wanna be my girlfriend, Rarity?