//------------------------------// // The Treachery Of Speed Dating // Story: An Azure Future: Moving On // by Krass McWriter //------------------------------// Moving On The Treachery of Speed Dating. The phone rang, echoing in the spacious living room. "Dad! Phone!" Azure shouted from the couch. His cartoons were on and damn if was getting up to answer. The phone rang again, its shrill cry filling the estate. "Dad!" "I'ma comin', I'ma comin'!" The older pegasus answered. "Hold your horses, geez." He continued as he clip-clopped down the staircase. John's choice of words made Azure giggle, "You'll go native yet dad." He said in between snickers. "Oh hush, you." John stuck his tongue out at Azure as the phone rang once more. "And you can be quite too!" He glared at the phone before turning to face the ceiling and belting, "Al, phone!" The AI acknowledged the command and put the caller on the penthouse's speaker system. "Heyyy, buddy!" A familiar voice, albeit with a slight metallic tinge to it, came through. "Heya Cream. What th' hell do ya want?" John demanded as he flitted up to the cabinets and began to rifle through them. "I signed ya up for a thing, so be at the Whinnying Winery and Restaurant in an hour and a half." Cream stated. Suddenly there was a rustling sound and a clatter of metal on metal then something that sounded a bit like the fwoosh a small gas explosion. "Uhhh... Hold on a tick." John heard the distinct sound of his friend running towards what had to be his kitchen, followed by some indistinct murmuring. Then came the yelling. "You did what?! I told you to stay out of the kitchen! Well this is the third time in two months this has happened! Just because-" His friend then shifted his tone to a much calmer one, dropping both sides of the conversation out of John's hearing. A few moments later, he heard the sound of hooves approaching as Cream Baker returned. "Sorry 'bout that, kids y'know. Anyways, the Whinnying Winery in an hour aaand... twenty two minutes. I'll know if ya skip." And with that there was a click as the phone call ended. "Well then, that was something." John was bit flabbergasted. "Al, see if'n you could find out exactly when and where this thing is." "Right away sir." Albert responded with a brief pause before continuing. "It would seem to be an hour's flight from here sir. We suggest you leave promptly." John flicked his ears and ruffled his wings a bit in annoyance. "What about car travel time mister computer?" He snided. John rolled from his seated position to hanging off the couch, belly up and head on the floor. "Streets are showing congested foot traffic, I believe any ground based vehicle would be severely encumbered. And the name is Albert sir." John grimaced at the retort, "Whatever, the roads 're built for cars. They will move or they shall become acquainted with the grill of my truck. Snarky machine." Azure spoke up, breaking his silence. "I guess you can relapse into vehicular ponyslaughter too. Thats cool." "It’s not murder if I have the right of way!" He argued. "Open the big glass door Al," he belted the old reference, rolling onto the floor. Standing up he cracked his neck left, then right. He stretched out his wings, curling and unfurling them a few times. Then he snapped his wings and bolted out the now open patio sliding door. Azure rolled his eyes at his dad's departure, "This isn't going to end well..." -_-_-_-_- John's truck roared as it came around the corner, the pegasus inside hanging half out. He was yelling at pedestrians to get out of the way and that "The roads are still roads!" and other such things. After narrowly avoiding a collision with three foals wearing what seemed to be capes, the truck came to a stop in no less than three parking stalls. The door opened and John jumped to asphalt. Alright. Lets do this speed dating thing, he thought to himself before heading inside. "Hi!" An extraordinarily over excited mare bounced next to him. "My name is Coalescence and I'll be helping you today! You're here for the speed dating right?" "How did you know I was here for the speed dating?" John asked, curious as to how she was so accurate in her assumption. "Oh, nothing really, you just have that slightly desperate and partly exasperated look that more than a few of the stallions who come here do. I can also tell that this isn't your idea either." Upon sensing his reaction she added, "I've been doing this for a while." She led John to a spacious dining room, within which there were ten numbered tables were set up. "You're at table five," she pointed at the corresponding table with a hoof. "You're number is on the table, protip, it’s also five. When the bell tolls, that means rotate. You rotate to the next higher number." Coalescence sighed before continuing, "When you get to ten, you move to one. And yes, we've had issues with that." She glanced at the wall clock "We start in five." With that, she turned and cantered back to the front desk. John looked around the surroundings as he moved to his table. Red velvet walls and diamond pattern wall paper on the ceiling. The carpet was low profile, yet it maintained a certain plushness. John thought it was weird how he could feel through the hooves, but he just dismissed it as overthinking it. John pulled out the chair and sat at the table, there was lanyard with a number five on it and a card with other names on it. John placed the lanyard around his neck. He looked at the card, it had ten numbered section, an "interested" box to mark and a large blank space next to it. He quickly flipped it over just to make sure the other side didn't have anything on it then righted it. John looked about again, waiting for the event to start. He saw Coalescence walk back from the desk with two more stallions and a mare in tow. "Alright, everypony's here, so we're going to begin now." She announced from the center of the room as the ponies who just came in took their respective seats. A friendly looking mare with a white coat and black mane sat across from John. He was just barely able to catch sight of her cutie mark, the Tragedy and Comedy masks. "Hi, my name is Final Curtain! My special talent is acting! What's your name?" She beamed, John found her smile to have the same effect as the morning sun in his eyes after waking up. "Uh, m' name’s John." He said half heartedly and partially murmuring. "'John'?" Final Curtain cocked her head slightly in minor confusion. "Why don't you have a pony name?" She queried. "Well, I guess I'm just sort of..." John paused to search for the correct word. "waiting? For my cutie mark that is." "You mean you don't have a cutie mark? How long ago did you convert?" Final Curtain pressed, adjusting her body to lean forward across the table ever so slightly. "A month and about a half now I guess." John answered, after doing some calculations in his head. Has it really been that long? Feels much longer. John pondered. This seemed to perturb the mare. "A month and a half?" She repeated. "Were you like, HLF or something?" She whispered, leaning as much across the table as possible. "Uhhh... no. Arent we entering, like, second date territory?" He defended, eyes shifting nervously. "Well, why would you wait so long?" She pressed once more, making John rather uncomfortable. The first date and already a disaster. "Well, thats personal, and to be fair you are being quite pushy." John decided to snip this in the bud and just end it. "I think we both know whether or not we're going to take this to a real date hm?" John smirked. The expression Final Curtain wore was some queer mix between confusion, shock and anger. Her acting background only proved to over exaggerate this making look almost comical. "I see..." See murmured, just barely above a whisper. John glanced at the wall clock, two minutes left. They seconds ticked by, a dry cough from John breaking their mutual silence with just under forty seconds left. "Sorry." Final Curtain burst. "About being pushy, that is. I'm a terrible gossip by nature." She clarified. "It's fine." John waved a hoof in dismissal. "Just, ya know, try not to drill personal matters. Its speed date, ya talk about your favorite color and coffee or tea, not whether you killed ponies or forced people to become them." "Well I would still like t-" The bell tolled, signalling for a rotation. "Well, it was interesting Miss Curtain." John got out of the chair and moved over to table six. He sized up the mare as he approached, She's pretty cute. Doesn't look crazy like the last one. John sat across from the mare with a "6" around her neck. She had a deep purple coat. Her mane was a cross between peach and faded pink, the tips of which were an ashen grey. "Hi my name's John!" He beamed, extending a hoof. "M' names' Napalm." She responded as she shook John's hoof. Her voice carried just the lightest of twangs. "Human name huh?" "Uh, yeah. I'm waitin' for my cutie mark." John answered, his smile unwavering. "You're names Napalm?" "Yeah, ah invented it Equestria side before E-Day. It's a lot harder coming up with a name for something with no basis, so ah just hacked the two chemical compound's names together." She explained. "Well that's pretty cool." John nodded. "So tell me about yourself." John motioned towards Napalm with a hoof. "A'ight." Napalm shrugged. "Born and raised on a potato farm on the outskirts of Idahorse. Ah grew up with two older sisters who constantly pulled pranks on me and a little brother who was in arms with me against them. Mah ma and pa owned a three hundred and thirty three acre farm. Pa always claimed that potatoes liked the number three." She summarized her childhood home and family. John giggled a little at the final bit, "So what do you do anyways?" He queried, leaning slightly over the table. "Well, lets hear about your childhood first." Napalm teased. "Heh, where to start?" John puzzled aloud. "I was born 2020. My mother died in childbirth. My father was an Afghanistan veteran. He was a drinking man and not the kindest of people. I did well in school, had a small group of friends. No brothers or sisters, I was an only child." John stopped thinking over if he missed anything. "Well, yeah. Thats about it." He shrugged. "So, what do you do?" Napalm gave John a sly look, questioning his bland story. She answered regardless, "I do what is called 'Controlled Hazard Burning' in the various wild forests throughout Equestria. Make sure any forest fires that start don't get too big as well as making sure they don't grow and what lives there, stays there." Napalm paused before continuing, "Trust me, you do not want what lives there running amok." "That sounds... Incredibly dangerous." John furrowed his brow. "Someponies gotta do it. 'Sides, its seasonal work and year round pay." She shrugged in response, then added, "Good pay to boot. Your turn then, what do you do for a living?" "Well," John sighed, "I used to be businessman. Made an obscene amount of money. So Im kinda just be retired and collect on a debt owed." "A debt owed?" Napalm inquired. "Who owes you that you were able to collect through the end of the world?" "Celestia." He stated. Had she been eating or drinking, she'd have choked. "Hee!" She squealed, drawing the attention of everyone else in the dining hall. "No WAY!" She excited like a schoolfilly, drawing her hooves to her barrel. "Tell me EVERYTHING." She demanded, slamming her hooves down on the table. "What?" John asked, dumbfounded at the mare's excitement. "Its a bit of a long story..." She trailed, "But the short version is we have a thing." She waved dismissively. "Uh, well, we kinda did a business deal." John scratched behind his ear nervously. "You see, when Celestia got here, she needed some earth based cash, the bit to USD exchange rate didn’t exist quite yet. So while everybody was running about tryin' to figure out what to do about the new universe off the east coast-" The bell tolled for the second time, calling for rotation, "Well, I guess I'll give you a call later." John smiled as he left Napalm's table and headed for table seven. "Talk to you later!" Napalm called.  There was a pegasus with teal coat and a deep red mane, the complimentary colors causing his eyes a bit of strain. "Hi, my name is John." He greeted as he sat down on the available chair. “Hi, my name is Ocean Breeze,” the teal mare smiled, “Did a friend put ya up to this toooo?” "Uh," John scratched behind his ear, caught unaware by the mare's accusation. Is it really that obvious this wasn’t my idea, he pondered, just a little self conscious. "Yeah, I guess so." She giggled, “So, John, why don’t ya have a pony name?” "I am three for three on that question," John rolled his eyes to the side in an expression of mock exasperation. "I think I'm gearing for a perfect score. I'm just waiting 'til I get my cutie mark to change my name is all." He continued smiling lightly. “What do ya like to do? Surely that’ll help ya get your cutie mark, I know it helped me,” she stated, slightly grinning. "Well, I used to be something of a businessman,  but that was more of a means to an end. I just kinda look after my son now and hang out with somepony that is sorta becoming my best friend. You may have even heard of him, the PER leader.” “The PER? I can’t stand those meanies. They make me angry! A-Anyways, before I go on any... undesired tangents, you said you had a son?” Ocean quickly covers up her stutter, a bit angry already. John grew slightly worried at the mare's reaction. If she ever caught wind of what he'd done, it wouldn't be good. "Yeah, he probably saved my life. He's the reason I became a pony in the first." John chuckled a bit at the memories of his misadventure during those two and a half months. "It’s kind of a long story..." John trailed. “Aw, he sounds sweet. How old is he?” She smiled, intent on hearing John’s answer. "He just turned eight years old not too long ago." John replied with a slight shrug. “Wow, eight years and already saving his father? Sounds like he’s gonna be famous when that colt’s older.” Ocean smiled, her red mane going in front of an eye. She blew it out of the way, awaiting an answer patiently. "Well, it was more like he saved me from myself. I didn’t even know I had a son until he showed up at my doorstep." John reminisced, growing slightly distant as he lost himself in memories. “I wish a foal would show up at my doorste--” The teal pegasus was cut off as the bell rung for the next table. "Well, uh, it was nice meeting you." John said as he stood up from his seat. John considered checking interested but decided against it. She was nice, but not quite my type. “You too, John.” She smiled, getting ready for the next stallion to come and sit at the table. The next mare was quite a peculiar one indeed. She was a unicorn had a coat of various colors, and all in blotches. The coloration was also mismatched, giving her the look of a rag doll or a child attempting to dress themselves. Even her horn was multicolored, purple yellow and green. John also noticed that her card was both on the table and had every box already checked. The very moment John was anywhere near what could be called close to the table the mare beamed at John and bosteriously introduced herself, "Hi! My name is Patchwork, but my friends call me Patches!" The look on her face was deadly serious, though her tone was jovial. "Uh, hi?" John offered, unsure as he took his seat. She seems even more mentally unstable then the last one... "Or, well, they would call me Patches if I had any!" Patchwork beamed, completely ignoring John. "Riiight. So, what is it that you do?" John decided to let it slide, and move on in the conversation. "Oh, I'm a tailor." Patchwork answered, focused on her '8' badge and playing with it. John noticed that the lamination job had teeth marks, as if she had been chewing on it.  There was a long moment of silence that lasted a few beats. "Wait!" Patchwork blurted suddenly, losing interest in her badge. "YOU never told me YOUR name!" She accused pointedly, jabbing both of her forehooves towards him. “Um, M’names John.” He answered, growing a tad worried for the remaining four minutes. "John?" She puzzle, looking quite perplexed. "But that's a human name!" she gasped. "Were you human?!" “Uhm, yes. Are you a native equestrian?” John inquired. “Oh, no, I’m human too,” She waved dismissively. “Or was at least. Some expired potion spilt on me and I ended up like this.” She motioned to herself. “Kinda mixed me up up here too though.” She continued, tapping her head with a hoof. “Huh.” John said inquisitively. Potion is a fickle mistress. He noted, pondering upon this mare’s fate and those of the human remnants that had been forcibly converted. A silent moment passed before Patchwork spoke and revived the conversation. “So, what do you like to do anyways?” She offered, grinning slightly nervously. “Oh I love flying and reading a good book, going to my friends bakery, he makes killer muffins, hanging out with my son, and, uhm, I guess thats about it really.” John shrugged, making it a point to come up with a better answer for the future. “Oh, thats neat. I like watching a good movie or making a quilt. I also love playing shuffleboard at the community center.” Patchwork beamed, pleased now that the conversation had started up again. “Shuffleboard? Whats that?” John asked, cocking his head ever so slightly. Patchwork immediately lit up, “Oh! Its a great game, theres this pyramid thing and you push a puck towards it with a stick thingy.” “A stick thingy?” John inquired. “Well, it does have a name, I don’t know what it is though. But yeah, you and your opponent take turns and you add up your points depending on where your pucks are. Its loads of fun.” She smiled, obviously happy that she could talk about her interests with someone for once. “Sounds interesting.” John replied. He never had taken an overt interest in sports. “Oh yeah, you have to try it some time.” Patchwork paused, “So you have a foal? Where’s his mother?” John winced a little on the inside at the mention of Catherine. He opened his muzzle to reply and just then the bell tolled, signifying rotation. “Uhm, well, it was nice talking to you Miss Patchwork.” “You too John!” Patchwork called, already absentmindedly chewing on her plastic badge. Well, she was interesting. John thought as he moved to the next table. Approaching, he eyed the next mare. She had a dark pink coat, big blue eyes and a pale blond mane with pink highlights throughout it. John found her a bit attractive, and his attraction a bit odd. He sat at the available seat and introduced himself, “Hi, my name is John.” “Hi John, my name is Strawberry Frosting.” She replied. “You still have your human name?” She asked before correcting herself, “Sorry, you probably get that alot.” “Yeah, everypony has asked me that.” John shrugged, failing to catch his ponyism. “Its just that it’s really uncommon to see that nowadays, not that I’m much of one to bash on someone’s human pride.” She adjusted in her seat a little. John had found it odd that the event utilized made-for-human chairs in place of Equestrian chairs or even traditional cushions. Not that there was much to do about it anyway. “Well, its more of me waiting to get a cutie mark and base it off that than human pride, and do tell?” John asked, interested in what she had to say. “Oh, well, I um, kinda used to be a guy in the HLF...” Strawberry trailed, obviously a bit embarrassed by this fact. The gears in John’s head ground to a halt. “What?” “Uhm, yeeeah...” There was a long silence, “That got awkward quick, didn’t it?” She smiled n weakly. “Sure did.” John answered. The conversation stood dead in the water for what seemed like eons to the pair. The time ticked on slowly, painfully. One minutes passed, then two and then three ‘till John’s lungs itched and he let out a cough. “So, um, it was nice meeting you I guess.” She offered. “It was interesting all right.” John replied, the conversation dying once more. Finally, the bell tolled. “Oh thank Celestia.” John murmured as he got up and left. That was the worst five minutes of my week. John thought to himself as he moved to the tenth table. John took his seat opposite the unicorn mare. She had a light green coat and a grey mane that was long even for mare. “Hi, I’m John.” “Oh, a human name huh? You know I saw a human once, or at least I think I did, it may or may not have been that ‘Bigfoot’ creature I’ve heard about.” She motioned the parentheses around “Bigfoot”. “It was really hairy and grunted a lot. Oh! I’ve got a picture!” She started searching through her saddlebags with magic and pulled out an old polaroid picture. “Newfoals usually just change the subject or laugh, so its cool if you don’t know what it is.” She levitated the picture over to John. John look at the picture and almost bust up laughing. It was a picture of Ron Jeremy. How she saw him in the woods was beyond him, but there it was. “Heh, I uh, think it’s best if that one remains unsolved.” John lightly giggled, “So, you’re a native then?” “Oh yeah, I came to earth last month, wanted show all the newfoals and humans a proper equestrian magic show.” She beamed. “Buuut, of course I get here and then BAM, no more humans. Still plenty of newfoals though I guess. Still, I just wish I could've met a human when they were still human y’know?“ “Well, there are a few remnants, the Equestrian government says there’s about a thousand or so left.” John added. “Well, yeah, but thats not really much of an audience. Also, I doubt I could even get any of them  to go to my show, let alone pay for it.” She shrugged. “Hmmm.” John nodded. “You know, I don’t think I caught your name.” “Oh, silly me, I get carried away sometimes. My name is Coin Trick.” She extended her hoof, which John shook. “Pleased to meet you Coin Trick. So you’re a magician?” John smiled. She’s a bit talky, but not in a bad way. “Why, I’m one of the best!” She gave a look that John couldn’t decide whether it was ‘sultry’ or ‘sly’. “‘The Illustrious Coin Trick’! I’m pretty well known throughout Equestria, I even performed on Canterlot’s Trotway last year. It’s about equivalent to your Broadway in New York from what I hear. Only the greatest and up and coming magicians get to perform there!” Coin Trick beamed, stars in her eyes. “Well that sounds like quite the experience.” There was a brief pause in the conversation, eager to keep it going John continued,  “So what else do you do besides magic?” “Oh a bit of this and that. I like drawing the landscapes and skylines of places I visit. It helps pass the time and is a great way to practice magical dexterity.” She “Oh? I’d like to see those, you seem to travel a lot.” John stoked the conversation. “Oh you have no idea, I’ve been from Tacksworn to Canterlot to Appleloosa and everywhere inbetween. Even did a performance for the guards stationed at Leota forest. I’ve even seen the field where the battle of order and chaos took place. That was some crazy horseapples.” Her eye’s glazed over a bit as she lost herself in the memories. She blinked several times, before continuing again. “Sorry, I really love the road. Its usually the only quiet time I have. Between setting up, rehearsals, the show itself and fans, I don’t have much time to just be on my own.” “Well, you seem-” The bell tolled, signifying a rotation. “Um, Well, It was nice talking to you Coin Trick.” He said as he got up and moved all the way back to the first table. “You too John!” She called as walked away. As John sat down he noticed the mare across from him. She was a pegasus, pure white with wispy blue hair, her eyes a stunning hazel. She was dressed in a  John felt his wings go stiff and he barely managed to contain them at his sides. “Hello darling.” She purred. The small bit of control John had was lost and his wings pomfed outwards. “Well, thats a bit uncouth don’t you think?” she frowned in disgust. “Sir, I ask that you remove yourself from my presence at once!” “But-” John started, only to be immediately cut off. “Immediately!” She reaffirmed, turning her nose up and effectively snubbing John. He winced slightly at the intensity with which it was said and the attention it drew. Slowly he removed himself from the seat and headed to the lobby. Well, you’d think a pony’d be more understanding. I still trip once in a while when I forget how to walk. John pouted, grumpy that the last two dates in a row were a bust. Just my luck, first an ex-HLF trans and then a prude. John made himself comfortable on a couch. After a dull minute of just laying down (and getting his wings to calm down), he decided to turn his attention to the dining room and see how the other dates were going. The prude who had insisted John had a mirror in one hoof and was brushing her coat with the other. John scoffed a bit at the sight and decided to see how Napalm was doing. She was across from an impressively large stallion, just a bit smaller than Celestia herself. He couldn’t make out what he was talking about but John figured it was how much he was lifting at the gym that morning from how bored Napalm looked and how he flexed when he talked. Deciding that none of the others really piqued his interest, he decided to see the few mares that remained. A chocolate colored earth pony mare sat at table two. A pegasus with teal coat and vanilla mane who looked rather unkempt was at table three. She was facing away from him however and he couldn’t quite make out her face. The mare at table four almost looked familiar. I know I’ve seen you before. Her beach colors haunting at John’s memories. John resolved to just bring it up when he got to her. He searched for the nearest wall clock and figured there was only about a minute left. He rolled off the couch and stretched his legs, waiting for the bell to toll. Once it did, John went to table two sat across from the chocolate colored mare. “Hello, my name is John Norris!” “My name is Hazel Cocoa!” She smiled. “Huh, you know, you’re the first one not to point out my name.” John noted. “Really now? Most of the ponies here are newfoals. Odd that they’d call you out on it.” Hazel shrugged. “I guess one of the first things most newfoals do is get a new ‘proper equestrian’ name. Its right up there with first meal as a pony and learn to walk. So are you a newfoal?” John asked. “Oh yes.” She beamed adorably. “I got converted something about eight years ago. I work at the coffee shop on Gilbert and Euclid, The Night Owl. My friend owns it.” “Really now? I used to run a business myself.”  John adjusted a bit in his seat. “Oh? What did you do?” “Eh, its in the past now...” John dodged, he was a bit infatuated and didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Oh. Well, thats okay. The way I see it, ponification is a second chance: second chances tend not to work if you keep bringing up the past.”  Sweet Luna, she’s almost too forgiving. “You know, its funny, I wouldn’t even be here if my friends hadn’t forced me to come. they’re all ‘You need to get out more’ and ‘I’ve never even seen you with another pony.’ ; ‘All you do is work work work, your not a changeling or a bee or anything like that.’.” She made mocking faces when impersonating her friends in way that John could only call cute. “Heh, my friend dragged me into this too. Drunken bets and all, you know how it goes.” John chuckled. “Oh yeah, there’s nothing like a cold glass of whiskey.”  Hazel giggled. “You drink whiskey?” John gawked, dumbfounded. “Occasionally, but my favorite is Buffalo Trace. Its a bit thick but sweet ponyfeathers is it good. Sweet Apple Acres makes a great cider, Equestrian side.” Hazel said warmly. “Well, I’m going to have to try that sometime. I’ve had Buffalo Trace before though, delicious.” John rubbed his belly in the universal sign of deliciousness, then shifted about in his chair. “Do you think it’d kill them to bust out cushions or get proper chairs? Its not like they can expect a human to stop by anytime soon.” Hazel giggled, “Hee, yeah, not many of them left. Oh Luna, you think you’ve got a problem, at least you get to move about a little, my rumps been here for almost forty minutes. My flank’s all sorts of numb.” She wiggled it about for emphasis. “See?” John could feel himself blushing from his muzzle to his fetlocks. “Uh, yes.” “Hee, I like you. You’re funny. So, what do you like to do for fun?” Hazel asked. “I like reading and trying out new drink combos. Sleeps good too.” “I read or go flying mostly. I love cardio. Playing with my son too, I guess. A good movie or cartoon is always great.” “You have a son?” Hazel queried, curious. “Yeah, he’s just turned nine years old. Actually, when the Wonderbolts were in town about a month ago, it was for his party” “No way!” Hazel spoke in disbelief. “How long have you been an pony? You must have been first in line!” “Huh, I thought you’d be more interested in how I managed to get the Wonderbolts to do a private show, but, uh, okay.” John idly scratched his head behind his ear as a sign of confusion. “I’ve actually only been a pony for a month and a his mother got converted when he was in the womb. Don’t know why she didn’t tell me she was getting converted or that she was pregnant, she just up and disappeared. Never saw her again. Eight years later, a little pegasus colt shows up at my door with paperwork saying he’s my son. I love the little tyke.” John subconsciously wiped away the tears that were forming. Hazel put a mocha hoof around John, scootin’ closer. “Awww, its okay sweetie. Sometimes things happen.” “Yeah, I guess. So-” The Bell tolled, cutting John off once again. “As I was saying, It was nice talking to you, definitely would want to see sometime sooner than later.” “Oh definitely.” Hazel nodded. John got out of the chair and took his place at table number three. He could now see that the pegasus was wearing thick glasses. “Hi, I’m Skylla!” She extended a hoof, “It’s greek. One of Posieden’s immortal chariot drawing horses.” John took her hoof and shook it. “My name is John.” “Hebrew name, meaning ‘God is great’.” She spat. “You know I heard that the christian god is actually part of a larger pantheon. Its him, Bol, and a sister whose name they lost. Some paleotheologists, or whatever the term is, tracked it all the way back to its origins. Supposedly, when the hebrews left, they took Yahweh with them and left the other two to die in obscurity. Truly fascinating stuff if you ask me. In fact, this is supported in the jewish religious scriptures with the first few lines or so. I forget exactly which ones but it’s something to the effect that there are other gods, but he is the god of gods. Like I said, its really fascinating stuff.” Skylla jabbered, making John’s mind reel. “Yes, fascinating.” John murmured, rubbing his temples. This is going to be the suck. How much more time do I got? John looked at the clock, the time was already almost halfway up. Wow, that mare sure knows how to talk for bit. Might as well kill it. “So you study mythology huh?” John asked, his mind shutting down far before he finished. “Oh yeah, my mom used to read them-” By then John had gone into a full mental recession, his eyes glazing over as she went on to describe how myths were still an oral tradition in her family and how she got a scholarship for her paper on them and was amongst the first to convert so she could learn equestrian mythology. John, of course, nodded and agreed or disagreed where appropriate. When the bell finally tolled, she was prattling off about her theories on the Nightmare Moon myth. “Oh thank Celestia.” John sighed under his breath. “What?” Skylla asked, with a partly confused; partly curious look on her face. “Oh, nothing.” John lied, stretching. “I’d love to hear more, but its time to move on.” He gave a false smile as he got out of the chair and made his way to the final table. He sat at the table and introduced himself. “Hello, I’m John!” “Hi John, I’m Candy Shores! You have a human name, I like that.” She bubbled. “You know, you look pretty familiar, have we met before?” “Oh, well, I work as a dancer at the Hoiseried Hoof, maybe you’ve seen me on the floor?” She a gave that was definitely seductive, John managing to keep his wings at his side. “Uh, nope, uh I don’t think I ever visited that place, heh heh.” John laughed nervously, suddenly realizing who the mare across from him was and why she looked so familiar. “Oh c’mon darling, we get all sorts. Besides, its good pay and my oh my are there some stories to tell. Like about two months ago, right? So we get a human, this was before they up and pretty much disappeared, and he’s pretty drunk. He tips me a good thousand bits, so I take him in the back room to give him the VIP treatment and he flips out! Tosses me off the bed and runs through the tinted glass wall without his pants!” She animated with her hooves, acting out the story. John winced, “Ooo, I bet he regretted that.” He remembered spending a lot of time pulling glass from a lot of areas glass should never be. “Yeah, I bet. But anyways, my point is, as long as you’re not that guy, there’s no real need to be so shy.” She cooed. “Heh heh, yeah. So, change of subject, what do you like to do?” John was doing everything he can to not bolt out on her a second time, as well as dealing with a newfound regret for not going through with it that night. Damn you pony brain! I am so killing you with liquor. But John you need me! Fuck you I don’t! I’m not going anywhere. Fiiiine. “Ooo, that a good question!” She tapped her hooves to her chest then to the chair. “Well I like dancing. I’ve been dancing since I was a foal. Well, A kid I mean. I love painting, although its been really hard to try to get that off the ground. Its a tough market you know? Also, I just love making stuff with clay. Pots, cups, bowls; anything really. So, what about yourself?” “Oh y’know, reading, flying, watching a good flick. I like getting active in general from time to time. mountain climbing, hiking, sports, the whole nine yards.” John sighed, he had been here over an hour and it was already starting to wear on him. “Oh really?” Candy gasped, “Thats so neat! My friend is really into tennis, she does the tournaments and everything.” “Don’t think I ever really played tennis before.” John said, just as the bell tolled twice, signifying the conclusion of the event. “Alright everypony, that brings this months event to close.” The hostess clopped her two forehooves together. “I would like to thank you all for coming out, and don’t forget to check the boxes of the ones you found interesting! If both parties check it, the contact information will show up in the blank area!” She reminded before ushering everypony out of the building. John sat outside the building a little confused for a moment with the other nineteen ponies before they slowly started to disperse. Eventually, John got to his truck and drove off home. -_-_-_-_- John grabbed his dating ticket, shut the door to his vehicle, flew up to his balcony and walked inside. Scanning the living room, he noted it was empty. He’s probably in his room. John thought as he trotted up the stairs. As he passed by, he noticed Azure’s room was a bit unkempt as rooms belonging to colts his age were, and that Azure was missing. Huh, guess not. John continued to his room and flopped onto his bed. He fumbled through his nightstand for a moment before obtaining a sharpie. Lets see... John placed the ticket in front of him, numbers and names listed. Hazel, Napalm, Ocean Breeze aaand Coin Trick. He checked off. Instantly, Napalm and Hazel’s contact information appeared. Huh, guess the other two haven’t got around to it yet. John looked at the phone numbers, I think I’ll call them tomorrow, don’t wanna look too eager. “But for now, a nap.” He announced to ceiling, before climbing into his sheets and dozing off. -_-_-_-_-AUTHOR'S NOTES-_-_-_-_- Ocean Breeze written by Ocean Breeze Strawberry Frosting used with permission. Sorta. I'm proud of the whole "magic ticket" punch card thing. Took a bit to think a way out of the contact information issue. I timed each and every date to be five actual minutes (as if it were acted, not straight read) Using the last bit, if acted out (The whole chapter, not just the dating that is) I’d have a made for tv movie here. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 83min. Or blah. Lets go with blah.