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// Chapter Three: Operation: Cottage Infiltration 
// Story: My Little Mission: Sneaking is Magic 
// by DoctorSpectrum 
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“You know, Snake, you seem to have adapted to the idea of talking ponies fairly quickly,” Twilight pointed out to me. After giving me a tour of her library (during which I found out that Twilight really did have a baby dragon living with her), we were now out on the streets of Ponyville, with Twilight promising to give me a more traditional tour of Ponyville compared to Pinkie’s one. I grunted.
“Believe me, Twilight, this is nothing next to those hamsters I had to get past in Zanzibar Land.” I inwardly shuddered, hoping that she wouldn’t ask about them, which she fortunately didn’t. At the moment, it was just the two of us walking the streets, as Pinkie had said something about needing to work, before dashing off. Although I was pleased with this, I was fairly surprised that she could hold down a job.
As we walked, I noticed that the other residents of Ponyville weren’t acting as cautious as they had before, and that whilst they weren’t approaching me as readily as Pinkie Pie had, they seemed to be somewhat more comfortable with my presence than before. I pointed this out to Twilight.
“Yes, they’re probably just assuming that you’re related to some sort of magical experiment of mine now that they’re seeing you with me,” Twilight replied. As we continued around town, she told me a similar situation which had happened some time ago, in which a zebra visitor was initially feared by the entire town, until Twilight and her friends had realised that she was merely misunderstood. 
“… which turned out to be for the best, as Zecora has become a great friend of mine! Although I don’t always get to see her that often,” Twilight finished.
“Huh? Zecora is a great friend of yours?” I asked, having only vaguely been listening, paying more attention to the layout of the town. After a moment, I realised that Twilight had stopped in front of a large, fancy, carousel-like building, coloured mostly with blues and purples.
“What’s this building?” I asked, not as interested as I was pretending to be. Twilight smiled at me.
“This is the home – and workplace, too – of my good friend Rarity! I figured that I may as well introduce you to all of my friends, since you’re going to be staying in Ponyville for a while.” I scowled at this reminder, whilst Twilight knocked a hoof on the door of the building. 
“Comiiing!” came a voice from inside in a sing-song tone. From what I could hear of the voice, it was almost… British sounding. After a moment of waiting, the door opened to reveal a white pony with a dark purple mane. Like Twilight, she had a horn, marking her as a unicorn. Her mane was somewhat curly, although stylishly so, rather than naturally so. On her flanks were pictures of three diamonds.
I really do need to ask Twilight what those marks are, I thought to myself. So far, it seemed as though every pony had these unique marks. As I took in this white unicorn (what did Twilight say her name was? Rarity?), Twilight started speaking to her.
“Hello, Rarity. How are you doing today?” she asked friendlily. 
“I am doing most brilliantly,” Rarity replied in that same posh accent. “I have just finished designing my latest project, and all that remains to be done is to create it, and then we shall be all set for the Grand Galloping Gala, should we choose to attend this year!” She hadn’t seen me yet, as I was standing a little distance from Twilight, and she was too engaged in her story to pay proper attention.
“That sounds great, Rarity!” Twilight replied, interested. I gave a small noise of displeasure, which she thankfully didn’t seem to hear. Whatever Rarity was on about, it sounded like the exact opposite of great.
“Oh, but where are my manners? Come inside, Twilight!” Rarity said, turning around and heading back in. Twilight gestured for me to come closer.
“Actually, Rarity, there’s a reason I’ve come to visit you… Snake, come inside!” she called out as she walked in. I followed surlily, hoping that our visit to Rarity’s house wouldn’t take too long. 
“Rarity, I have a new friend who will be staying with me for a while,” I heard Twilight saying as I walked into the house, nearly bumping my head on the door as I did so.  I frowned at hearing this. Since when were we friends? I was just going to be in town for as long as I needed to, that was all. “This is Snake, and as you can see, he’s, well… a human,” she introduced.
I gave Rarity a small nod. “Hey.” As Twilight had when she first met me, Rarity had been staring at me, somewhat gobsmacked.
“A…human?” she repeated. From her tone, I couldn’t tell whether she was amazed or confused. A moment later I got my answer, as her eyes sparkled and she jumped up and down on the spot, in a manner not too unlike Pinkie Pie. “Oh, this is fantastic!” She stopped bouncing to talk to me directly. “I’ve never been able to design clothes for a human before! Oh, I shall have such fun with this! I shall have to completely rethink the way I normally do things.”
“Huh?” I had no idea what was going on here. “You’ve never… designed clothes for a human before?” I asked. 
“Why, of course not, darling! I normally only design clothes for ponies!” As she spoke, Rarity had retrieved a pencil from a drawer, and was already hurriedly sketching out on a piece of paper. I noticed that both her horn and the pencil had a blue, sparkly glow around them that hadn’t been there earlier, indicating that she was controlling the pencil with her horn, somehow. “And I mean, how can you stand to wear that black costume all the time? It looks a little, well, simpliste, don’t you think?”
I looked over myself, failing to see the problem Rarity was implying. “I need this suit to be this way,” I grumbled. “It’s for camouflage.”
“Oh, but why didn’t you say so before, Snake?” Rarity asked. From the sounds the pencil was making, it sounded as though she was scribbling out the design that she had been working on, and starting a new one. I looked over to Twilight, who looked as though she was trying not to laugh.
“Don’t worry – she made me try on about twenty different outfits the first time I met her,” she whispered to me. Luckily, Rarity seemed too absorbed in her work to hear her.
“Now, if it had a pattern like this – oh, goodness no, now it looks as though it is covered in bananas – how about this sort of design? No, that would only be useful in a snowy environment… Oh, I know! I shall give it a pattern scheme like this – yes, that looks very useful for disguising oneself! Although it does remind me somewhat of moss…” Twilight looked to me, as baffled as I was. She cleared her throat before speaking up.
“Well, Rarity, it was nice visiting you, but we’d better get going. I’d like to show Snake around town some more,” she said. Although Rarity was still engaged in her work, she stopped to talk to us.
“Ta-ta, Twilight! And ta-ta to you too, Snake! It was nice meeting you, and I shall be sure to have some better clothing for you the next time you visit!” I grimly nodded, not caring in the slightest. For now, I was happy to stick to my sneaking suit. 
Twilight and I headed out of the boutique, leaving Rarity to her designs. “Where next?” I asked. Twilight thought for a moment before answering.
“If Fluttershy isn’t in town at the moment, she should be home right now. Her cottage is towards the outskirts of town.”
“Fluttershy, huh?” As I followed Twilight, I took out a cigarette and lit it. “Hey Twilight?” I asked after a moment, with the cigarette in my mouth. “What are those marks you ponies have on your flanks?” This was something which had been confusing me since I had arrived in Ponyville.
“Oh, you mean our cutie marks?” Twilight asked, stopping to look back at hers. Now that I got a better look at it, I could see that the large, pink star was surrounded by several smaller white stars.
“Yeah. Your cutie marks.”
“Oh, well those are special marks that appear on a pony’s flank when they discover their special, unique, talent that makes them different from everypony else!” Twilight sounded enthusiastic about this, and I guessed that it was a topic that was very personal to her.
“Huh. So yours is a star. Does that mean that you’re good at astronomy?” Twilight giggled quietly at this, and I rolled my eyes in response. It’s not that funny, I thought.
“No, my special talent is magic. Unlike most unicorns, I can perform a large variety of spells, not just a hoof-full of basic ones.”
“Perform spells, huh?” I repeated. I thought about it, and it made sense, in a way. “Your cutie marks are similar to the logo which I used to wear when I was in FOXHOUND. Even though it didn’t uniquely identify me, as your cutie mark does, it still feels like an important part of your identity, which solidifies who you are to yourself.” I took a puff of my cigarette before continuing.
“In this day and age, knowing who you are is important. There are so many factors which can make you who you are – genes, memes, even your scene. Particularly in the digital age, when we’re overwhelmed with information, and can be inspired by virtually anything, taking that inspiration on and making it part of who we are; changing ourselves to fit. Who are we, exactly? That’s something you’ll have to work out yourself.”
Whilst I had been talking, I had stopped following Twilight, and had closed my eyes as I talked, thinking carefully about my choice of words. I opened them now, to see her some distance away, looking back to me with an odd expression on her face. 
“Uh, Snake? Are you done talking now?” she called out. I walked over to her, and we kept walking.
“You mean you didn’t listen to what I just said?” I asked, confused. 
“No offense, Snake,” Twilight began, “but nopony enjoys speeches like that. If you gave them the option somehow, I imagine that most ponies would rather just skip it than listen to the entire thing.” I was stunned. I hadn’t even realised how long-winded my speech had been getting.
“Really? But what if I have an important message to give to people?” I had almost finished my cigarette by now.
“They still won’t listen to it if it’s as long as that, no matter how important it is. You need to find a way to shorten your speeches.” I was genuinely surprised by this.
“Huh. Alright,” I simply said, feeling a bit bitter about her response. Nevertheless, I was sure that there would be someone who would listen to my messages about finding your own identity, even if that someone had to be a pasty, white-haired, unlikeable person with an irritable and constantly nagging girlfriend. 


===================


“Okay Snake,” Twilight said, standing outside Fluttershy’s cottage door, “Fluttershy is very timid, and so she might end up a bit startled when she sees that you’re a human. So please try not to be too intimidating, okay?”
I scowled at this. Aside from my initial meeting with Pinkie Pie, I hadn’t drawn any of my weapons at any point since I had arrived in Ponyville. What did Twilight think I was going to do that would be so intimidating to this pony? Surely she wouldn’t be that frightened of me, would she?
Twilight turned to the door once she was satisfied that I understood the message, and knocked. Was it just my imagination, or was she knocking more quietly than she had been at Rarity’s? The door opened slowly.
“Oh, hello Twilight,” came out a soft voice from the door. “What are you doing here?” it curiously asked. I was standing to the side of the door, and so the owner of the voice couldn’t see me, and vice versa. I presumed that it was Fluttershy.
“Hello Fluttershy!” Twilight replied, confirming my thoughts. “I’ve actually got a friend here, who is probably going to be staying at my library with me for a while, whom I’d like you to meet. His name’s Snake!”
“Snake?” asked Fluttershy, sounding slightly confused. “But I thought that you didn’t like snakes, Twilight. Remember what happened at Winter Wrap Up?” 
“Oh no, he’s not an actual snake,” Twilight laughed. “He’s… well, he’s not exactly from around here, so prepare yourself, Fluttershy.” She gestured for me to step out and reveal myself.
“Well, I’m sure that no matter where he’s from, he’s – EEK!” I had slowly stepped out, in keeping with Twilight’s suggestion, to see who this Fluttershy was. Upon catching sight of me, she let out a short, high-pitched wail, and slammed her door shut, all in one swift movement. Although it had been incredibly quick, I almost could have sworn that I saw an exclamation mark physically appear over her head when she saw me, but after I blinked it was gone, so I supposed that I must have imagined it.
I turned to Twilight, not sure what I had done wrongly. She shrugged, and went closer to the door. “Fluttershy, are you okay? Snake’s not as scary as he looks.” I frowned angrily. Again, she was mentioning that I was frightening!
“He’s so… big,” I heard Fluttershy squeak out from behind the door.
“Well yes, he is a human, so he is a good deal larger than we are,” Twilight reassured Fluttershy. I got the feeling that this wasn’t the first time she had had to calm Fluttershy down from a fright. After a moment of silence, Twilight leaned further into the door. “Sorry, Fluttershy? I didn’t quite catch that.”
“But he… he looks so… so scary!” came the response, even more high-pitched than Fluttershy’s previous one. I saw Twilight roll her eyes before replying.
“Fluttershy, remember on Nightmare Night, when you were scared by Princess Luna?” Twilight asked, trying to stay as calm and friendly as possible. The only response she got was a small whimper.
I couldn’t take this anymore. Leaving Twilight to reassure Fluttershy, I walked around to the back of Fluttershy’s cottage without Twilight noticing me leaving. If Fluttershy wouldn’t at least try and let me meet her, then I would just have to find my own way to do so.
Examining the back of Fluttershy’s house, I found a window which I could fortunately open from the outside, and which was unlocked. I found myself shaking my head at the lack of security, before I reminded myself that I was in a small town of magical talking ponies, not infiltrating Shadow Moses.
I was halfway through the window, and could make out Fluttershy huddled in front of her door, still talking to Twilight on the other side. With her being as huddled as she was, and at a bit of a distance, all I could see of her was that she had a pink mane and yellow fur. 
At that moment, several things happened. Firstly, Twilight realised that I had disappeared, and started calling out for me. “Snake? Snake?! Snaaaaaaakkkkeeeeee!!!!!!!” Secondly, a small white rabbit jumped out from somewhere out of my field of vision, and glared at me. Don’t tell me that the rabbits here are intelligent, too! I thought, frustrated. 
It seemed that they were, as this rabbit leapt onto my back, and kicked me in the neck. As I was already halfway through the window, this sent me crashing to the floor painfully. “Oof!” I grunted, feeling like murdering this rabbit. For a moment, I recalled hearing about my mentor, Big Boss, living off rabbits and other wildlife whilst on one of his missions in the 1960’s. Right now, eating rabbit sounded incredibly tempting to me, even though I would normally rather distance myself from Big Boss.
From my position on the floor, I could see Fluttershy turn away from the door at the sound of me crashing through the window. She let out another shriek, but with nowhere to hide this time, she simply cowered on the floor. I picked myself up (ignoring the rabbit running all over me and kicking me), and walked over to her.
“Please- please don’t hurt me,” she whispered, shaking with fear. Getting up closer, I noticed for the first time that she actually had two wings, one on either side of her body. They were pressed so closely to her sides that I hadn’t seen them earlier.
“Huh?” I asked, wondering why she had thought that I was going to hurt her. Okay, granted, I broke into her house, but still….
At that moment, the door briefly gained a purple sparkly glow, and was thrown open. A second later, Twilight galloped in. “Fluttershy! What’s the matter?” She looked up and saw me standing a metre or two away from Fluttershy, who was cowering, naturally. 
“I thought that you wanted me to introduce myself to Fluttershy,” I said gruffly. “Since she wasn’t opening the door, the window seemed the best way in.” The small white rabbit was still trying to kick me, so I leant down and picked him up, holding him out from my body so that he couldn’t reach me. 
Twilight glared at me. “Snake! There’s having good intentions, and then there’s trying too hard to help somepony!” She leaned down and stroked Fluttershy’s mane in an attempt to reassure her. Speaking half to me, and half to herself, she said “I’ve got half a mind to tell this to Princess Celestia in my next friendship report.”
I clenched my hands into fists, feeling like punching something. I didn’t care who this Princess Celestia was, why Twilight was sending her a friendship report, or how Fluttershy was feeling. I just wanted to get out of here, and return to my mission. All of the ponies in this town were crazy!
However, as much as I wanted to voice these feelings, I knew that Twilight was my only chance of returning to Shadow Moses, and so I restrained my anger. “Twilight. Fluttershy. I’m sorry about this,” I said gruffly, not caring as much as I was pretending to. After a moment of hesitation, I added in, “I think that it would be best if I explored town on my own for a bit.” Let’s face it, being social was not my area of expertise, nor did I want it to be.
To my surprise, Fluttershy looked up from the floor she was sobbing into. “S-Snake… sorry I was so – so scared.” I stared at her. “I hope you can forgive me –” her voice had dropped to a whisper by now “- if that’s okay with you.” I hesitated, before nodding at Fluttershy (which she didn’t see, as she had buried her face back into the floor), and Twilight. I walked over to the door, stepping through so that I was standing just outside it.
“So Snake… I’ll see you back at the library tonight?” Twilight asked slowly. Already, she seemed to be regretting speaking so harshly to me, just as I was regretting acting so hastily. I couldn’t afford to piss off my only way back home.
“Yeah. The library, tonight,” I confirmed. Turning my back on them, I walked away from the cottage, looking to get some space away from these ponies.
I found out later from Twilight that several minutes after I had left, she had said to Fluttershy, “Are you feeling okay now?”
“I am a little, thank you, Twilight. Yay!”