The TADRIS hummed softly in the background, empty for the time being. Outside the Lava themed walls of the ship, the Daleks were chanting ‘Exterminate!’ their infamous catchphrase. From within, their lasers could be heard firing, then a loud yell by the door. It slammed open and the Doctor fell through, backwards, his chest steaming on both sides. His hair was short and his eyes silver. The doors slammed shut behind him and he struggled to get up, gasping for air.
“Ahh – Activate Emergency protocol five! … Get me the interactive hologram of all my companions.” he struggled to give the order. The TARDIS whirred once and the holograms of the past five companions appeared, beginning with Rose Tyler.
“Doctor, what’s wrong?” asked the hologram, shifting between them. The Doctor groaned, trying to pull himself up from the ground.
“Actually, nevermind them, get me a hologram of you when you were trapped in that body.” he said, collapsing on the ground again. The TARDIS complied, showing the woman.
“My thief, what do you want me to do?” she asked. The Doctor huffed and puffed, trying to get a word out.
“I want you to take control of yourself… go anywhere that isn’t here… open the doors and let someone worthy pilot you. I’m done. I’ve used the last of my regenerative abilities. This is it.” he replied. The TARDIS hologram disappeared and the groaning noise of the ship began to work, taking the Doctor away from the Daleks. He struggled to crawl towards the centre console, climbing up it. As he did so, he climbed on top of it and hugged the cylinder as it pumped up and down into the heart of the TARDIS. The Doctor looked at his hands as they hugged the cylinder, watching as they glowed a bright gold and sparkled in small Huon particles like an aura.
“Well sexy… this is it… I’m going away forever. I don’t want to go… I never want to go. I wonder now, where it is I’m going? Is there something beyond even our knowledge? Are we like the humans in the early fourth century, who believed that there was no life beyond their world? Is there life beyond the galaxy, the universe? Is that where I’ll go?” he asked, his face lighting up in a literal sense.
“Will you come with me?” he asked once more, exploding. Being in close proximity to the TARDIS’ central control caused it to overload and overheat. With a yell, the Doctor gave into the end of his thousand years.
***
Within a large tree was a small library. The Library was kept by a Lavender coated Pony with a Violet mane and tail containing a pink highlight on one side. She had a horn on her forehead, which glowed with a light pink aura, lifting a large pile of books into the air, surrounded by an identical aura. Each book shot towards a random empty space within the bookshelves, the pony sorting them in alphabetical order categorically. She sighed, turning her head toward the couch to see the sleeping purple dragonling with a book in his clawed hand. She smiled gently towards him, taking the book from him so as not to wake him. She placed the book in its place and grabbed a small blanket from his bed, placing it over him as she passed by. She checked the time by noting the placement of the stars and the moon. It was midnight. Twilight sighed, turning her head to see herself in the mirror. Her hair was all over the place, which reminded her of when she turned crazy, having learned nothing on time. She yawned and made her way to her bed, pulling the covers aside with her teeth. As she hopped in, she heard a strange heaving sound from outside.
“Oh, come on! Spike, I keep telling you to just belch the letters out.” she cried, making her way downstairs. “Since Rarity laughed at that large note you burped up, you’ve tried holding it in whenever you’re-.”
“Twilight, I’m right here, and I’m not getting any letters coming up.” said the young sleepy dragonling standing in front of the couch; the heaving sound still audible in the background. Twilight walked cautiously toward her front door, the heaving sound getting closer, and fast. She braved the door, opening it with her magic. The first thing she saw was every pony in Ponyville looking for the source of the heaving sound. She and Spike stepped out, joining the large group.
“Twilight, what’s goin’ on?” asked an orange pony with three apples tattooed on her flanks and a cowgirl hat on her head.
“I was hoping you knew, Applejack. Hey Rainbow Dash, you know what’s happening?” Twilight asked, turning to a cyan Pegasus pony with a rainbow coloured mane and tail. She flapped her wings as she gently landed near them.
“Not a clue. Nopony knows where it’s coming from.” she replied. Without warning, a pale yellow Pony with a light cotton candy coloured mane and tail crept up behind every accessory or stationary object, shaking slightly.
“Oh dear, d-does anypony know what that s-s-sound is?” she asked nervously, settling with hiding underneath Rainbow Dash who spread her wings in surprise, trying to balance herself.
“Sorry Fluttershy, but this is scaring even us.” replied Twilight, looking around. A pink pony with curly hair appeared from behind Applejack and grinned at them.
“I like it! It sounds like an instrument, or an assmatic pony.” Pinkie said, bouncing up and down.
“That’s asthmatic, Pinkie.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Look, up there!” called a white pony with a beautifully cared for purple mane. She pointed toward the sky, a swirling vortex of blue slowly enlarging not twenty feet above them. Every pony gasped as the sound chimed again, the heaving sound scaring some of the younger fillies. The ponies divided into two groups, stepping aside for the oncoming sound.
“Here it comes, it’s gonna be a biggun’.” said Applejack, shoving her little sister behind her, much to her annoyance. As the final heave appeared, a large blue rectangular prism emerged, smoking from one side as it rotated, the light above dimly lit. It flew wonkily, rising and falling every second.
“Oh no!” shouted the Mayor as the big blue box made its way toward the clock tower. Every pony ran after it, curious beyond imagination, what was this strange contraption with no wings that could fly like a Pegasus pony?
***
The TARDIS crashed into the clock tower, throwing the Doctor off the central console. He cried out, still feeling in pain from the shots to his hearts. Feeling slightly better, he made his way to the front door.
“What did you stop for?” he asked, stopping just short of the doorway. It opened on its own, smoke piling out into the atmosphere. The Doctor struggled to reach the edge of the TARDIS’ walls, gripping the bottom of the doorway. As he pulled himself through he saw a large gathering of equine creatures, all of irregular colours. The Doctor smiled, falling from the tower onto the ground. He groaned in pain as he survived the fall.
“Alright!... One more time.” he said, struggling to stand up. The equines gathered around him, closing in.
“You might all want to take a few steps back.” he said, beginning to glow once again.
“Why?” asked one of them. The Doctor, being no stranger to what humanity would call the irregular, smiled.
“I’m still cooking.” he replied, clenching his fists. He felt his two hearts beating in unison, the sound like a pair of gongs banging at a rapid pace. He laughed once, stretching his body as he burst into a hose of golden light, startling every pony into backing off half a yard. As he began to regenerate beyond his limit, he yelled an amalgamation of his past catchphrases.
“Argh! – Alons-y – Come along, Pond!.......A-Argh-you want a jellybaby?... Alright then!” he cringed in on himself, being forced onto all fours. His knuckles hardened and retracted, sewing themselves together, his fingers bunching up into fists. His hind legs bent and broke, changing their structure. His face curved in and stretched outward, his ears growing pointier. Once again his eyes changed colour and the Huon particles faded, revealing a chestnut coloured stallion with dark brown hair and walnut eyes. Every other pony stared at him in shock, waiting for him to do something.
“Right, ‘Allo, I’m – ooh.” he paused, swallowing and moving his jaw. The ponies just stared.
“New voice, new throat, new…larynx! That’s new… Hmm, teeth are more even than I’ve ever had them before, that’s fantastic. Let’s take a look now, shall we?” he said, looking himself over.
“Ooh, a quadruped… that’s new. This is the least human looking form yet. Brilliant! Hazel pelt, brown tail and… and still not ginger! Why am I never ginger? Well at least I’m not blue, that’d be weird. And what in the world is this?” he asked, looking toward his flank. He blew away a few trace Huon particles and saw an hourglass tattooed to his sides.
“A tattoo, I have tattoos! Oh great, I hear getting those hurts, now I don’t have to worry about that cause I already have one, no, wait… two! Hah, I give new meaning to the term ‘hourglass figure’.” he said, wriggling his rump. All the ponies stepped toward him again, suddenly bringing themselves to his attention.
“Um… who are you?” asked a violet pony with purple hair and a tail.
“Ooh, sorry. *clears throat* I’m the Doctor! Who are you?” he asked, looking at her with great amusement.
“Doctor? O-.”
“Yes, Doctor, that’s me why does everyone have to repeat my name after I introduce myself? It’s really annoying!” he said, looking away and thinking the problem over.
“Wait Doctor who? Doctor of what exactly?” the violet one asked.
“Just The Doctor. As for my profession, I’m a doctor of Time, space, physics, metaphysics, alien races, general sciences and a little medical science on the side.” he replied, starting to walk, but he fell down.
“Ah, new legs, new body, new steering method. This could take a while, I’ve never had four legs and no arms before.” he said, trying to stand.
“Wait, Doctor, I-.”
“Hold on, Lavender girl, you need to step back, this is very dangerous.” he began holding his breath in as best he could. The violet pony stepped back and watched as the Doctor exhaled quickly, a few golden flakes escaping his lungs.
“What were those?” The Doctor just cleared his throat, a few more escaping his nose.
“They’re Huon particles. Very dangerous, very powerful, they’re really only used for regeneration or as a power source for a TARDIS, which is right up there… oh, sorry about the tower… I wasn’t really in control, I thought I was going to die. Silly thing took me here instead. Where and when is here?” he asked in a rush. Every pony in Ponyville stared at each other in bewilderment, trying to figure out what was going on.
“This is Ponyville, and it’s 1001 A.L.” said the lavender pony.
“A.L?” asked The Doctor, looking slightly confused by the terminology.
“After Luna. It’s been just over a millennia since she was banished to the moon. She’s back now, of course.” she replied, The Doctor considered the reply and sighed.
“Well I suppose if Humans created a timeline based on the birth of an apostle, surely equines can create one based on exile or imprisonment, though I find that rather dreary. How did this Luna breathe on the moon? There’s no air beyond a planet, and a moon is a moon, it is not a planet and oh my god! You have a horn on your head, you’re a unicorn!” The ponies became slightly alarmed at his sudden change of confusing topics. Some backed away, others just looked displeased with him.
“Uh, yeah, there’ve been unicorns and pegasi on Equestria since…forever.” replied a cyan pony with wings and rainbow hair. The Doctor lit up with joy at seeing her.
“Oh, how’d you do your hair, that’s brilliant! Oh but you’re blue… strange, I don’t like blue. I never used to dislike it… Perha- where are my clothes?!” he began to ramble on and on about different subjects and all the ponies were becoming increasingly bored of the strange pony.
“Uh, Doctor?”
“Yes, that’s me, who said my name? Oh lavender girl! You called me?” he began, staring at her with a slight impatience.
“What are you doing?” she asked simply.
“I’m having a case of hysteria infused with a cacophony of mild insanity and rebirth.” he replied simply, allowing no breath to pass between his words.
“Okay, I suppose Twilight got all that, because she’s a nerd, but could you explain it to the normal ponies here?” asked the cyan pony.
“Oh, your name’s Twilight? Sorry. Anyway to answer your question rainbow…whatever. In layman’s terms: My regeneration process is causing me to spaz out. Now where’s the front door to this tower, I need to get back into the TARDIS?” The ponies blinked a few times.
“The what?”
“TARDIS! T-A-R-D-I-S are the initials for Time-And-Relative-Dimensions-In-Space! That big blue box up there is a time machine!” he explained, slightly frustrated.
“Ooh. What’s it do?” asked a light grey pony with a blonde mane and tail with crossing yellow eyes.
“It… travels in time – what part of time machine did you not get?”
“The machine part.” The Doctor stared blankly at her.
“Right, you’re not going to assist me in anything for fear you’ll lose something of mine or… or god, what if she blows up the TARDIS? Oh, that would be very bad. She’d wipe out this half of the galaxy doing that.” he muttered.
“Hey!” the grey pony protested with a hurt expression.
“Oh, right, sorry. Still developing a personality. Regenerating’s kind of like baking a cake, there are different layers that need to work. The body’s done, so now I just need personality and… different tastebuds, why do I have a craving for apples? Two regeneration cycles ago, I hated apples, now I really want some. Maybe I’ve got some up in there, do I have wings? No?”
“No.” every pony replied in unison. The Doctor stared at them for a moment.
“Right then… Um… gimme a lift? Or a key to the door, so I can walk up there?” he asked. The grey one flew into the air and lifted The Doctor up.
“I suppose I asked for this, didn’t I?” Every Pony nodded.
“Of course you did! You said you wanted a lift.” replied the grey one. As they managed to rise to the doorway of the TARDIS, the Doctor saw the centre console begin to light up.
“Oh, no no no no! Quickly, back to the ground, back to the ground! She’s gonna blow!” the grey pony eeped and shot toward the ground, hitting it so hard as to create a hole with both the Dotor’s and her own outline.
“Sorry.” she croaked.
“Well, this is… very animated. Think I’d have preferred the twenty foot fall.” he groaned, struggling to the surface of the crater.
“Caw! I shouldn’t have begun the regeneration process hugging that damned cylinder. Now she’s going to… ooh, nevermind! new desktop, new theme, new room to match the new body! Oh, I hope she makes me a new – Ah! My Sonic Screwdriver, where is it?!” The Doctor began. The grey pony surfaced holding said screwdriver in her hoof, which was anatomically impossible.
“What’s this thing?” she began, receiving a spark from it. She squeaked and threw it upward. The Doctor caught it with his mouth and sighed.
“I can’t believe we landed on it and it-.” as The Doctor spoke, the sonic screwdriver snapped in half, dangling from his mouth by a wire.
“Sorry?” the grey one offered.
“If my TARDIS doesn’t come up with a new Sonic screwdriver… oh you will be sorry.” he grumbled, dropping the device back into the hole.
“No, no! Scratch that, need a different personality, I don’t want to be an ass… We don’t have any donkeys around do we?” he asked. A Pink ponie began bounding up and down.
“Yes, we have two, Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda!” she replied rather chipperly.
“Well if they’re within hearing distance… No offence!” The ponies looked at each other for an explanation. The Doctor sighed and helped the grey pony out of the pony shaped hole.
“Are you alright?” he asked. She shook herself off and nodded, her eyes rolling around.
“Yep! I’ve been through worse. Got caught in one of Pinkie’s Pinkie senses.” she replied. The one known as Twilight shuddered at the thought of the topic.
“I’ll not ask for fear of confusion.” he went on. Above, the TARDIS slammed its doors shut and all was silent.
“Ah, there she goes. Self-repairing, with any luck, she’ll give me a new sonic screwdriver. Wonder what colour it’ll be this time. Green’s not really my thing, please don’t let it be blue. Maybe orange, or something unique.” he began. By now, the ponies had dispersed, leaving Twilight, the grey pony, the cyan one, a yellow one with a shy looking nature, a white one with a strange fashion sense, a pink one with fairy floss for hair and ironically enough, a cowgirl with a hat and a litte baby dragon on her back.
“Anyway… who’s got bacon and eggs? Wait, Equines are herbivorous, they don’t eat meat, which explains the apple craving. Muffins?” he asked. The ponies pointed to the grey pony who lit up like a Christmas tree.
“I love muffins, I love baking them, especially with Pinkie Pie. She adds something super delicious to them. Blueberry muffins are my favourite you should really try the blueberry muffins come with me!” she rushed off quicker than she spoke, dragging the Doctor with her.
“Slow down, I don’t quite know how to walk yet, let alone run or… gallop or whatever you call this.” he said, his hind hoofs scraping along the ground. She lifted him into the air once again and took him to Cloudsdale, a large city of clouds with rainbows falling like waterfalls over the edge. She manoeuvred through and around the clouds, stopping at her letterbox with the name Derpy written badly along the side.
“Here we are, my home.” she began.
“Uh, wait, I don’t have wings. I’d fall right through the CLOUDS!!!!” the Doctor screamed as Derpy dropped him on the cloud, falling right through like he predicted.
“Oops!” she began, shooting down to catch him.
“This isn’t forty feet! This isn’t forty feet!” he yelled, just before Derpy reached him.
“Sorry, Mr. Doctor!” she exclaimed, bringing him to the front door. I forgot Pinkie went through the first time too. I had to lay down carpets so she couldn’t fall through inside.” The Doctor considered this.
“Wait, any pony without wings can fall through the clouds, but inanimate objects can’t? How does that work? It’s scientifically impossible unless you have some sort of flotation device beneath every piece of furniture… which by the look on your face is highly unlikely.” he said, seeing her quizical look. As she opened the frothy door, shag carpet was the first thing to enter his field of vision, followed by a retro fifties themed kitchen.
“Oh dear god, I’ve entered the Twilight zone. Which is actually real, near the edge of the universe.” he began.
“Uni-what?” Derpy asked.
“Nevermind, you can put me down now, you’re chafing my pelt.” Derpy complied with his command and let him stand on the carpet.
“You know, it occurs to me that a Sonic screwdriver would be good for everything I don’t use it for here. I often use it to open doors or unlock things, there was this one time I used it to amplify speakers, then I used two and pointed them to each other, never do that.” he said.
“Doctor, you’re as random as me.” Derpy began.
“I’m genuinely insulted.” he replied blankly. “Right then, Cupcakes!”
“Muffins, Doctor” Derpy corrected him.
“Them too.”