Stephen picked himself up and trudged towards the kitchen. Halfway there, his stomach roared and he felt weak. A gigantic breakfast would be in order once this phone call was done. When he got to the kitchen, he grabbed the telephone from the wall. “Hello?” Stephen spoke so quiet and hoarsely that he couldn’t even hear himself.
“Are you there?” Selena’s voice came from the other end.
Stephen cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m here.” Though it sounded like a slightly hoarse version of his normal voice, he felt like he had shouted into the phone at the top of his lungs.
“Gosh, baby. Did I wake you up?”
“You might have.”
“Wow!” Selena shouted through the phone. Stephen was not yet awake enough to handle this much energy. “I called to make sure you found the breakfast I left for you. I didn’t think I’d wake you up. How the heck did you sleep so long?”
Stephen turned to his right to read the clock. After rubbing his eyes, the hands and numbers came into focus, reading about 9:55 AM. “Those sleeping pills must have knocked me through a loop.” Stephen’s stomach roared again. He put the phone on speaker and was about to dive into the refrigerator when he noticed a plate covered in aluminum foil on the table. A flash card was placed on top reading, 'microwave me im delicious ☺' in Selena’s handwriting.
“I didn’t think sleep aids would put you down for fourteen hours. Are you sure they’re a good idea?”
Stephen unwrapped the plate full of waffles and bacon. “I’m not sure about any of this,” he said while throwing the food into the microwave.
“There’s got to be something else we can do to help you. I know this has only been going on for a few days now but I haven’t seen you as much this week and when I do, you’re either falling over or getting cranky. I miss you and I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I don’t think I’m sick,” he said as he reached into the refrigerator for a jug of orange juice. “There might just be something going on in my head or body that’s making me think I’m not sleeping even though I really am.” Stephen started chugging the orange juice straight from the jug.
“Isn’t that called being sick?” Selena asked with a confused tone.
Stephen set down the orange juice and waited for an answer to come to mind. “Like I said, I’m not sure about much. Maybe I’m really not sleeping? Maybe I’m sleepwalking or something?”
“I don’t know about that. When I woke up, I was still in your arms just like I was when you fell asleep. You definitely never moved.”
“Well then maybe I am really spirit traveling to another world full of magical talking ponies where I spend my nights helping protect the citizens of Ponyville from the timberwolves,” Stephen put as much of a joking inflection into that as he could. But ultimately he knew that it was just another thing he wasn’t certain of.
There was an uncomfortably long pause over the phone. Selena must have been at a loss for words. The microwave beeped and cued her back into the conversation. “I’m sorry…what?” Selena asked. “Are you still having that whacky dream?”
“Yes and no. It’s like a big continuation,” Stephen said as he grabbed his food. “Every night I find myself right in the spot of town where I was just before I woke up the previous morning. Last night I was helping a posh lady unicorn and a baby dragon make a wedding dress!” Knowing how ridiculous this sounded only succeeded in frustrating Stephen as he told the story. On top of that frustration were the facts that this was still happening, that there was no solution in sight and that the exhaustion was making it more difficult to contain his frustration. The cherry topping this sundae of stress was a fear that this could affect his job and threaten his comfortable living salary.
“Okay that’s just weird…and what the heck is a timberwolf?” Selena asked.
“It’s a wolf made out of dead timber that magically comes to life.”
“How do you know that?”
“A cowgirl pony named Applejack told me,” Stephen sighed as he poured syrup on his waffles.
“There’s another thing! This ordeal is making you silly. Now don’t get me wrong, I like silly. Silly can be fun. But you’ve never been silly like this before. So now that you’re suddenly having these weird dreams and not knowing why and not sleeping well and all sorts of other things that aren’t like you; I want to help but I don’t know how and I’m scared for you.” Selena took a deep breath accompanied by an audible sniffle.
Just like Selena did not like seeing Stephen outside of his usual levelheaded and laid-back nature; Stephen did not like seeing Selena worried or unhappy. So he said the first thing that came to mind, hoping it would calm her nerves. “I’m sorry, Selena. Please don’t worry about me.”
There was another sniffle. “Don’t forget, you pinkie-promised you’d be alright.”
“I haven’t forgotten that.”
“Okay,” said Selena. She was trying to keep her composure. But even over the phone, Stephen could tell she was going to break down if this persisted.
“I’ll tell you what,” Stephen said as confidently as he could. “I’ll prove that I’m doing fine. Come over as soon as you get done with work and we’ll have a nice date night. Sound good?”
“I like that idea.” Selena’s voice started to come back up to its normal cheer. “I’d better get back to work though. I’ll see you later.”
“Love you,” said Stephen before hanging up the phone.
For a while, Stephen grazed on snacks from his cupboard and rested in bed. Remembering how he felt after his extended bed rest yesterday, he made the connection to the nap he took and developed a theory. Perhaps resting for small amounts of time throughout the day could compensate for not getting a good night’s sleep. Regardless of if it would work or not, it felt good to rest.
The hours ticked by as he lay in bed with his eyes closed. But after a while, Stephen started feeling himself getting closer and closer to unconsciousness, barely managing to pull himself back whenever he felt himself drifting off. The goal was to rest and regain energy without falling asleep. Not only did Stephen know that falling asleep would yield no rest, but he didn’t want to risk being asleep when Selena came over. Otherwise she might worry about him again. Almost needless to say, he also wanted to avoid the risk of dreaming.
Curious as to how much longer he had to wait, Stephen opened his eyes. The clock read 3:32. There was still at least a half hour until Selena got off work and perhaps an hour before she arrived. So Stephen did his best to nap and keep his mind clear in hopes that he wouldn’t fall asleep.
After a few more minutes, something felt off about Stephen’s back. He must have changed positions in his bed without realizing it. Regardless, he was going to continue to enjoy this nap and did just that until something prodded his ribs, tickling him. “Are you alright, darling?” a posh voice asked. Posh voice? No! Stephen’s eyes shot open and informed him that he was sitting at Rarity’s kitchen table. Stephen did not even have the energy to express how disappointed he was in himself. “Fancy seeing you here. You gave me quite a start when you vanished this morning. I thought you only came at night.”
A wide variety of responses ran through Stephen’s head within the span of a second but none of them were pleasant. In an attempt to avoid being rude to his hostess, he settled on saying, “Me too,” as plainly as he possibly could.
“But I’m glad you’re here though. Pinkie Pie has been quite upset that she hasn’t properly welcomed you to Ponyville yet. You can probably find her at Sugar Cube Corner if you go now.”
Thinking for a moment, Stephen remembered previous unsuccessful attempts at waking himself up or having others try to wake him up and realized that now would not likely be any different. Where’s that man with the subwoofers in his car when he’s needed? His only hope was for a loud noise to bring him back to his senses. Until then, he would just have to keep playing along. “Sure, will do.” Stephen unenthusiastically slid off the chair and onto all fours. “Where is Sugar Cube Corner?”
“It’s down the street by town hall. It’s a large building that looks like a gingerbread house. You can’t miss it.”
“Thank you,” Stephen said with a nod. “Have a good day then,”
“Have fun, Stephen!” Rarity bid from the kitchen. Stephen turned around and waved back before dragging his hooves out of the front door.
In the bright, cloudless, Ponyville day, Stephen could see a large gingerbread house about a block away from the Carousel Boutique. He walked towards it but only got halfway there before seeing Pinkie Pie. She was beaming so brightly that it could be seen from the distance as she conversed with a muscular, gray unicorn stallion. He had a thick, flowing mane and tail of crimson with white highlights. Though none of the other ponies seemed to think clothing was necessary, this pony was wearing a brown cargo vest and black ankle-covering horseshoes. Remembering what Fluttershy told him about cutie marks; Stephen wondered what special talent was symbolized by the divider compass that was superimposed over black spots on the unicorn’s flank.
As Stephen approached, Pinkie seemed to catch him in the corner of her eye. With a gasp, she called out, “There’s one of my other new friends now!”
“Good afternoon, Pinkie,” said Stephen, acting as chipper as he could. “I heard you were looking for me.”
“Oh my gosh yes!” Pinkie spoke so fast it didn’t sound like there were spaces in her words. “At first you came into town and I was like gasp and then you were all bouncy and then I didn’t see you again and I was sad because I never gave you a proper welcome but then Twilight said you were helping Rarity and then Rarity said you poofed out of her kitchen this morning and that you’d probably come back tonight but you’re here now so we can have your welcome party!”
“That sounds nice, Pinkie. But I don’t have the energy for any kind of party right now.”
“Okay well maybe we don’t need to have a party-party. Maybe we can have a fun game of meet my new friends!” Pinkie nudged the unicorn over towards Stephen. “Stephen, meet my new friend, Earnest!”
“The pleasure is mine. My name is Earnest Stalwart.” There was a pleasantly refined bass-like quality in Earnest’s voice that made him sound old and wise.
“I’m Stephen,” he replied, shaking Earnest’s hoof.
“Are you new to Ponyville as well?” Earnest asked.
“You could say that.”
Pinkie jumped in. “Earnest is here in Ponyville looking for something.”
“What would that be?” Stephen asked of curiosity.
“I’m sure I’ll know it when I find it. I thought I’d find it in the Everfree forest but I had no luck.”
Stephen cringed. “Oh gosh, that place. I can’t imagine why you’d ever want to go in there.”
“The Everfree frightens a lot of ponies. But if you are determined and always prepared with sharp mind and tools, any challenge can be overcome with ease.”
“It’s a different story when you’re dumped in there with nothing and have no idea where you are.”
“Good heavens!” Earnest proclaimed, briefly examining Stephen with his large, green eyes. “Thank Celestia you’re alright. When did that happen?”
“About half of a week ago, I guess.”
Earnest rubbed a hoof under his chin for a moment. “Well then, you’re a very lucky stallion. Keep your chin up and your wits about you and with even half of that luck, you’ll do great things. As for me, I must be going. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”
“Aw, you’re leaving?” asked Pinkie. “What if you don’t find your thing?”
“My dear, I have much to do and I believe now I know where to look. Thank you for all of your help, my little pony.”
“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie shouted and waved her hoof. “See you around, Mr. Stalwart!” Then she diverted her attention back to Stephen. “What should we do first?” she asked enthusiastically.
“To be honest with you, now is not a great time. I’m expecting company back home so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here.” Pinkie’s lower lip curled up, reminding Stephen of Selena’s mood earlier. He couldn’t handle that twice in one day. “But it’s pretty likely I’ll be back here tonight. We can hang out then.”
“Do you pinkie promise?”
Stephen realized that his subconscious must have been forming Pinkie Pie as a caricature of Selena. “Yes, I do,” he said with a chuckle.
“Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye?” A series of gestures accompanied Pinkie’s rhyme that ended with her poking her own left eye with her hoof. It looked like it would hurt but Pinkie didn’t seem to notice.
The accompanying rhyme wasn’t something he’d seen Selena do, but Stephen rolled with it nonetheless. “Of course. Where should I meet you?” he asked while shaking Pinkie’s hoof.
Pinkie zipped next to Stephen and threw a hoof over his shoulder. Using his body as support, Pinkie used her other hoof to point down the street. “You see that big gingerbread house over there?” Stephen nodded. “My house is right directly across from it on the other side of the street.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Awesome!” Pinkie hopped off Stephen’s shoulders and faced him. “Just get ready for a super fun night!”
“I’ll do my best,” said Stephen as he turned around and walked away. Finding a comfortable spot, he sat down and watched the citizens of Ponyville go about their lives for a few minutes.
Stephen’s house phone prompted him to open his eyes. Never before had he been so grateful at being woken up this way. However, between the strength he had to gather to get out of bed and the time it would take to get downstairs, he knew he’d never make it in time. So he didn’t bother trying. But once his strength had been gathered, Stephen went downstairs and began tidying up his house.
Just as he noticed that Selena was running late, his cell phone started playing the Looney Tunes theme song. Stephen picked answered the phone with a happy, “Hello.”
“Hey, baby. The guy that was supposed to take the next shift called in sick so I’m stuck here until his cover shows up. I’ll probably be there in an hour or so. How are you doing?”
“I’m holding up.”
“Are we still on for tonight?”
“You know it. I can’t wait.”
“Yay! Alright I’d better get out there before the boss catches me on my phone. Love you!”
“Love you too,” Stephen got in just before he heard Selena’s phone hang up.
Stephen kept himself awake and alert for the next hour by thoroughly cleaning his first floor. When Selena arrived, they spent the rest of the lazy Sunday afternoon in each others' company. The first thing that came to mind was a walk through the local park. They hadn’t been to the park in a while so it was a nice change of pace from their usual route around the block.
The park was mildly populated by people playing sports, on the playground or with their pets. Stephen and Selena conversed about everything and nothing as they made their way around the park with his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist. They stopped briefly when Selena wanted to horse around on the playground. Stephen loved that Selena was always a bucket full of energy. His only regret was not being able to keep up with her, especially in his current condition.
Another mile of walking put them at an Italian restaurant down the street. Stephen and Selena shared a plate of spaghetti that was so large; their combined efforts barely conquered it. It was just after eight o’clock when they finished their meal and started walking back to Stephen’s house.
“This will be a good way to burn off all that food,” Selena said with a laugh.
Stephen groaned as he waddled beside his girlfriend. “That was way too much spaghetti. How the heck are you walking straight?”
“You’re just a big wuss!”
“I’m not big. That’s part of the problem,” said Stephen before Selena threw her arms around him. He almost toppled over from Selena’s embrace. He playfully tugged her wrists but she didn’t let go. “Not now, Selena. Any added pressure to the gut and I might explode.”
Selena tucked herself against his side and put her arm around his waist again. “Well I don’t want to have to pick up little chunks of Stephen and try to put them back together.”
Stephen draped his arm back around her shoulders. “Seriously, how do Italians eat that much and not weigh a thousand pounds?”
“It’s not just Italians, silly,” said Selena. “I’ve seen your father pack it away at just about any party we’ve been to. He’s not much bigger than you.”
“Yeah but he also spends most of his free time exercising or lifting weights. He can get away with it.”
“Then maybe you should start exercising more. Then maybe you’d be able to eat more and not have to waddle away from the restaurant.”
“I don’t like that idea. Any time I spend lifting weights is time I’m not spending with you. That’s just not good.”
“Well look who’s trying to be Prince Charming tonight!” Selena giggled.
“Is it working?”
When they arrived at Stephen’s doorstep, Selena stopped. “Almost,” she said. “But we both have work in the morning and I want you to get some actual sleep this time. No sleeping pills. No dreaming of magic horses. Just sleeping and I’ll check on you when I get out of work tomorrow. Sound like a plan?”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Goodnight, baby.” Selena came up on her toes to give Stephen a kiss.
After he watched her get into her car and pull away, Stephen made his way back up to bed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to fall asleep. If he picked up where he left off again, he would have to spend the night with Pinkie Pie. He liked Selena as herself and wasn’t certain he was ready to deal with a hyperactive caricatured version of her.
But Stephen had another thought. It was a thought that once it occurred to him, seemed so obvious that he almost kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. If he set up his laptop’s built-in webcam to watch him sleep, he wouldn’t have to wait for a lab test to tell him if he was sleepwalking. Spending a night with Pinkie Pie would be worth it if it gave him any answers as to what was going on.
On that thought, Stephen went to the dresser that sat a few feet from the foot of his bed. He replaced the television that sat on it with his laptop. After plugging it into the outlet and making sure it would stay on all night, Stephen activated the built-in webcam and tucked himself in.