//------------------------------// // chapter 33. Panic button // Story: Becoming Fluttershy // by Hope //------------------------------// The nice lady turned off phone before turning to us. ”So, that went well. Got about a million views already, I’ll slap an ad on the page and pay for my rent for a year.” She said with a smile. “What, only a million?” Pinkie objected, seeming to think we deserved more. “Most views come after the recording goes up and word spreads, you got a million views in the space of roughly 15 minutes. That is insane, with no prior announcement except my facebook post.” She explained. “Age of the internet. Half the phones in this building are following us. Your friend seems to be catatonic.” Pinkie pointed out. The first lady, the one who had been freaking out earlier, is now staring at Pinkie with an expression somewhere between lust and psychotic stalkerdom, making me really worry for our safety. Pinkie didn’t seem to notice or maybe not care. “Shy? You okay? The whole internet thing isn’t getting to you is it?” I noted the concern, which I appreciated, but I pointed to the scary lady instead. “That scares me more. but yes, I will probably curl up and whimper in the shower when we get to the hotel.” Pinkie looked to the lady, and for a moment I thought she was going to do something reasonable, have a talk with her, or something, but all she did was reach out a hoof and gently touch her nose. “Boop.” I had to resist the urge to whimper at the thought of how Pinkie would react to a mugger, if a crazed woman merited only a boop. She turns back to me. “If it makes you feel any better... um... they aren’t you know, judging you when they’re watching. They’re actually just making sure you’re okay.” She proposes, and for a bit I am distracted from the woman. “I know, I know. I just have to get used to people... watching me. I freaked out for a good day in Erica’s head without her knowing when I found out I was on a show watched by millions already.” I say, tapping my hooves together nervously. She shrugs. “I think we’ve hit the billion mark... not sure. Point is, people here don’t watch in the same way that... I’m not being very comforting am I.” I have gone back to staring at the very scary lady. “Not really... She’s still staring at you.” At this point, the lady has started to tangle her fingers gently into Pinkie’s curled mane, a blissful smile on her face. “And? I mean, there’s this cat that wanders into my backyard a lot, and he doesn’t mind the attention. Except when it interferes with him hunting.” Pinkie finally looks to the lady. “So out of curiosity, how far are you going with this mane thing?” She asks, quite reasonably. Unfortunately the obsessive fan either doesn’t hear her or feels that further breaching of social barriers were more of an answer than speaking. She slips off the bench to pretty much land on Pinkie, hugging her and burying her face in the cotton candy mane she had been stroking previously. “Eep!” I hop backwards a bit, away from the couple. “Ok, come on Sara, enough of killing the pony.” The nice lady says, moving closer to try and figure out how she is going to separate them. “Hey, I had a kid try to ride me. This is cool, so long as she keeps it platonic and PG.” Pinkie says, tempting fate a bit more than she really should. The creepy lady then whispers something into Pinkie’s ear that causes her to look a little scared, maybe sick. I can’t really pin down the emotions that flash across her face, since I have never seen them on Pinkie’s visage. “...sorry, I’m assexual.” She eventually replies. The nice lady raises an eyebrow and moves to take hold of the scary lady’s collar, lifting her single handedly off of Pinkie. “Yeeeah I’m not going to allow her to completely ruin your night.” She says as she begins dragging the stalker lady away. “Nice meeting you though! Don’t give up hope! The right pony is out there somewhere!” Pinkie says with a smile as she waves. She then leans towards me and whispers; “Back me up here Shy.” Sara decides to interject at that moment. “I will watch you from the shadows, pink mistress!” She shouts from down the hall. I really can’t think of any way this situation could be solved except that woman being in a padded cell, so I shout back “Take medicine!” Pinkie seems less than thrilled by my approach, and speaks from around her hoof. “Not what I meant by backing me up.” “You will find your soulmate if you stop scaring them off!” I suggest. “No, see, you have to redirect the urge, not try to eliminate it.” Pinkie advises as the two ladies are lost in the crowd. “We didn’t even get the nice ones name, did we?” I ask, disappointed. “Marian, madam librarian. That’s my guess.” Pinkie says. The scary thing is, she is probably right. “We can ask her on her youtube account later.” I look at the crowd, and my self conscious nature decides to kick in. “Should I go shower before dinner?” I ask, smelling my foreleg. “I.... I smell like pine needles... what the hay, I never noticed that before!” I say, confused as I sniff myself again. “I smell like... sweat. Weird. Um... maybe it’s.... I got nothing.” Pinkie says with a few sniffs of her own. “Smell me!” I say as I extend my leg towards her. She sniffs my fetlock and ponders the aroma for a moment. “Hmmm. I dunno, it’s more of a ginger then a pine.” She comments. “So weeeeiird.....” An ache in my stomach brings me back to the present. “Anyway I am starving.” I say as I start to trot towards the buffet. “I wonder how much I can pack away?” Pinkie ponders. “Judging by your pinkie nature, I think we might get kicked out. Pinkie looks so weird with pants on, by the way.” I point out. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Pinkie says. “Weird, unusual, not ordinary. You were such a troll before becoming a pony, weren't you?” “I beg your pardon! Trolls seek out provocation for the sake of provocation. I did no such thing. I was more of a... detail oriented individual. Still am.” She says with the refined air I would expect from Rarity. “Then you look silly. Table for two please.” I say, forgetting that we have more on the way. “Well of course I look silly. Can we up this table to eight please, the rest of our party isn’t here.” Pinkie corrects, getting us led to a much larger booth. “I’m a pink pony with helium for a voice. Silly is something I can’t avoid. But this way, I make silly look good.” She said, again reminding me of Rarity with her fashion obsessions. I ponder if Rarity would ever be caught dead wearing pants. I smile at the silly image as I sit down. “So how do we get the rest of the gang here? I can’t use my phone or hold a plate.” I am then nearly scared off my seat as Pinkie lets out an ear splitting cry, for a moment I think she must have been shot or bit by a snake. “AILILILILILILILILI!” “Learned that from my mom.” She says as she finishes. Impossibly, the entire group just shows up right then. Somehow, either pure coincidence made it so that the group would arrive nearby right as I asked about them, and Pinkie just happened to be in earshot of them, or it was just Pinkie. “I.... I’m not going to question it. You are Pinkie, so very much Pinkie.” I finally decide. “No, that’s a legitimate Priddy call.” Her brother commented. Or, I suppose, Reid’s brother. “Ah, but the timing. Nopony but Pinkie could time it for the moment I asked about it.” I point out Pinkie seems baffled by my deduction. “...why would I call before you asked? I think your logic here is flawed.” “I think I’m hungry.” Ginny says. Julien grabs a couple of plates, and takes my order before trotting to the buffet. Pinkie just requested veggies of any sort, and the rest of the group left to the buffet on their own power. As Shining grabbed the food I requested, I looked over to Pinkie. "Hey, while they are getting food, I need to have a quick chat with you." I did my best to inconspicuously pull her aside. "What are we going to do when we get to New York?" I asked in a shrill voice, trying not to panic since I had realized how valid the Q&A question had been. "The funny reply would be 'Be tourists.' I know this really cool thing in Brooklyn--" she starts before seeing how worried I really am. She then shakes her head. "Sorry. Well, way I see it the goal is to beat Discord. The EoH have proven useful in that regard. Hopefully by that time..." Her fear is obvious as she contemplates the necessary steps that need to be completed. "All of us will have... synthesized and earned our elements so it should be a simple manner of unleashing a rainbow blast. After that comes the part where Twilight 'I have a spell for everything' Sparkle figures out how the ponies got here and develops a way back, plus some boring paperwork and negotiation between Equestria and the UN..." "We have yet to hear from anyone but rainbow dash, and Twilight. But twilight seemed.... Off. Is that just me worrying? She didn't seem like she had merged at all." I say, tapping my hooves nervously. "What about AJ, and rarity? They could be anywhere...." I try valiantly to fight off a potential ‘hurricane shy’ level panic attack. "They'll crop up. AJ is dependable, and Rarity is too. As for Twilight, I dunno what's going on with her, mostly because I've been letting you handle most of the contact side of things." Pinkie says as she takes out her iPad. "I mean I took the initiative to calm down Chrysy, but--" She finds what she is looking for and her forehead creases in worry. “...oh. That's... not good, I need to take this." She says ominously.